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NIKOLAI Y. GOGOL. 



XoxE of the many provinces of Eussia possess more interest for 
"Western nations than the Ukraina, the land where North and 
South meet, a region of boundless plains, of melancholy aspect 
and complex character. The Turk and the Pole once ruled 
there, and have left many traces of their dominion behind them, 
while the old Cossack leagues imparted, as it were, a republican 
spirit to the province. All students of Eussian history are 
familiar with those warriors of the Don, the Zaporozhtsui — 
recruited among brigands and fugitive serfs — whose hands were 
raised against every man, and who knew no law save that of 
the sword. It was from one of these Zaporog families, which 
have transmitted to their descendants such a keen appreciation 
of the adventurous and the marvellous, that sprang the true 
founder of the Russian school of fiction, Nikolai Vasilyevitch 
Gogol*-Yanovsky, the author of " Dead Souls." It was in the 
heart of the Ukraina, too, on his father's farm at Scrotchintsui, 
not far from the historical city of Poltava, that he first saw the 
light, on the 31st of March, 1809. 

Eeared near the famous battlefield which w^itnessed the 
giant contest between Charles XII of Sweden and the great 
Czar of Muscovy, instructed in the old-time songs and legends 
of the Malo-Eussians, his mind became imbued at an early age 
with warlik e and poetic folk-lore, whence he afterwards derived 
materials for his first noticeable work. Educated first at Pol- 
tava and subsequently at Xiezhin, he proved but an indifferent 
scholar, preferentially exercising his satirical powers at the 
expense of his schoolfellows. However, if he did not quite 

* The gogol i 3 a species of duck called the^olden-eye. 

167990 



Va KIKOLAI V. GOGOL. 

satisfy his teachers, he evinced at an early age a marked taste 
for literature, for whilst at Niezhin he started a manuscript 
journal, in which he inserted stories, tragedies, ballads, and 
satirical sketches from his own pen. Having with some diffi- 
culty graduated, he repaired in 1829 to St. Petersburg, fired 
with enthusiasm and dreaming of speedy glory. Like a genuine 
Zaporog, indeed, he entered the capital as though it were a 
conquered city, feeling convinced that he had merely to stretch 
out his hands to secure possession of every possible felicity. 
But in (peSMhereof he found the stern realities of life, and 
met with many discouraging failures. An idyllic story ,> entitled 
Hans Kiichel-Garten , which he published anonymously, was so 
mercilessly ridiculed by the reviewers, that he immediately 
withdrew it from circulation and burnt all the copies that he 
could lay his hands upon. He was, in fact, so disheartened 
that he resolved to turn his attention to the stage, and actually 
applied to the director-general of the Imperial theatres for an 
engagement ; but it was found that he did not possess a suf- 
ficiently powerful voice to shine in the profession, and he had 
to look for an opening elsewhere. 

Early in 1830, one of his stories, known in England as " St. 
John's Eve," appeared anonymously in a Russian periodical, 
and shortly afterwards he secured a very insignificant appoint- 
ment at the Ministry of Appanages. Here his official duties 
were paltry in the extreme, but he exercised his mind to 
advantage by studying the clerks and functionaries around him, 
portraits of many of whom are to be found in his works. 

Soon afterwards, having shaken off" the yoke of bureaucratic 
slavery, he again began to write, and sought the advice of the 
celebrated poet Pushkin. The latter advised him to appeal for 
inspiration to national history and the popular lore of his native 
province. He did so, the outcome of his efforts being the 
"Evenings in a Hamlet near Dikanka," which teemed with 
recollections of the Ukraina, his personal remembrance of his 
birth-place being interspersed with weird and grotesque excerpts 
of legendary lore. The "Evenings " met with considerable suc- 
cess, and apart from any other merit, they possessed that of 
depicting life in a part of Russia then but little known. This 



NIKOLAI V. GOGOL. VH 

being duly appreciated, Gogol felt encouraged, and published, 
in 1834, a second series of stories, entitled " Tales of Mirgorod."' 
These included his famous epic poem in prose, " Taras Bulba," 
a'^ti'rriiig narrative of Cossack life in former times, which 
en'sured "Eis reputation. " He was at once placed in the front 
rank of the authors of the day, and a brilliant career was pre- 
dicted for him. 

He had in the meanwhile become a teacher of Russian at the 
Patriotic Institute ; and the success of " Taras Bulba " proved 
so great, and such a decided opinion was expressed in high 
quarters that a man who thus revivified the past must be 
skilled in teaching it, that he was appointed professor of 
media3val history at the university of the capital. His opening 
lecture there was a brilliant success, completely confirming all 
these favourable anticipations, and once or twice, upon subse- 
quent occasions, he fairly electrified his audience. But on the 
whole his course was very unsatisfactory. " His lectures," 
says the Russian writer Ivanitsky, who was a pupil at the time, 
" soon became very dry and tedious. He looked upon the dead 
nations of the past with dreary eyes, as it were ; the work was 
wearisome to him, and he himself saw that his audience was 
bored." 

In fact, he was dreaming of other things. Already in the 
"Tales of Mirgorod" he had inserted a short story, which 
marked a change both in his style and ideas. Previously he 
had belonged to the romantic school, but in this little narrative, 
called " Old-Fashioned Folks," he evinced a sudden partiality for 
realismj.jdiidL^£K.iipoii-luia. apace. In 1835 he resigned his 
functions as a professor to devote himself exclusively to litera- 
ture, penning comedies, stories, and sketches with feverish 
activity. Among his productions at this period one may mention 
the story of " Akakiy_Akakievitch ^s_.Kew _ Cloak," which was 
based upon his experiences whilst he acted as a clerk at the 
Ministry of Appanages. It was the first blow w hich he dealt at 
the Russian system of govermaont, the second being his famous 
comedy, " TLo luhpoctor-GcDcral," which was written in 1836, 
and in which he exposed the venality, hypocrisy, and underhand 
intrifruing of the Russian functionaries. With the erroneous ideas 



/ 



Vlll NIKOLAI Y. GOGOL. 

that prevail as to the narrow-minded tyranny of the Emperor 
Nicholas, it seems strange that such a scathing satire upon his 
government should ever have been publicly performed at St. 
Petersburg. However, it was the Emperor himself who, after 
reading the manuscript and laughing at it, ordered his comedians 
to perform the play ; and on the first night he personally gave 
the signal for applause. The result of " The Inspector-General," 
as regards Gogol, was precisely the same as the result of " Tar- 
tuffe " with Moliere : he gained many admirers and a still greater 
number of enemies ; and so sensitive was his mind that, upon 
being traduced and reviled by those whom he had so com- 
mendably denounced, he lost all his buoyant spirits, and hypo- 
chondria set in. Thanks to the munificence of the Emperor 
Nicholas, he was at this period able to leave Eussia for a time 
and travel through the Continent ; but the gloom which had 
settled upon his mind was not to be dispelled, and in writing to 
his friends he frequently remarked that he felt utterly weary in 
both body and mind. 

He had taken away with him on his travels the idea of penning 
a masterpiece, in which he would say everything that ought to 
be said for the enlightenment of iiis countrymen. This was the 
story 2Icrtvui(( Dushi (" Dead Souls "), a translation of which is 
now offered to the English reader. Pushkin, so Gogol himself 
declares, had given him the foundation of his plot ; but to many 
it would seem to have been borrowed from Cervantes. Indeed, 
in numerous respects, " Dead Souls " recalls the immortal story 
of " Don Quixote." It was to have comprised three parts, but 
only the first one was ever completed. The second, when 
nearly finished, was partially burnt by Gogol, the portion of it 
which escaped destruction being published after his death. 
When the first part was issued at Moscow, in 1842, cries of 
mingled" stupefaction and indignation were raised throughout 
empire. "What! was that Russia?" people asked. "A 
band of rascals and idiots, without exception ! " And thereupon 
the author was denounced on all sides as a renegade and a 
defamer. /'.He was told that, desj)ite serfdom and official 
venality, there were still some brave hearts and honest folks 
in the empire. He then realised that he had struck too hard 



y \ the 



NIKOLAI V. GOGOL. IX 

a blow, and he -wrote numerous explanatory letters, begging his 
readers to wait for the second part of his book, for the coming 
contrast of light with darkness. But time passed by, and. this 
second part did not appear. Gogol's pen, so ready in de- 
nouncing hypocrisy and exposing venality, seemed unwilling, 
as it were, to trace a brighter picture of humanity. 

At last, in 1846, he returned to Russia, broken down in health 
and scarcely able to work. While he desperately endeavoured 
to complete "Dead Souls," some crisis of hypochondria mastered 
him every now and then, and upon one such occasion he destroyed 
all his books and a portion of his manuscript. Then he turned 
his mind to religion. He wished to go upon a pilgrimage to the 
Holy Land, he said; and, to procure the necessary funds 
and obtain the prayers of his readers, he issued a series of 
" Letters to Friends," which caused a perfect scandal on account 
of the religious and social views which he expressed in them. 
It was declared that he had lapsed into mysticism, but in point 
of fact his views were rather those of a^ansenis^t. ' However, 
he made his pilgrimage to Jerusalem, and upon his-4-eturn onco 
more to Russia, as he was without any home or means, he received 
the hospitality of various friends. Like a true Cossack, he could 
never linger for long in one spot, but went about from house to 
house, carrying with him a little bag full of newspapers, reviews, 
and pamphlets, in which he had been harshly dealt with. 

A person who saw him at this period of his life described 
him to the Viscount de Yogiie as a little man with short legs, 
walking sideways, awkward and ill-dressed, with a lock of hair 
falling over his forehead, and a large prominent nose. He was 
then very uncommunicative, though he would brighten up occa- 
sionally in the company of children, of whom he Avas always 
very fond. "With an unprepossessing exterior he combined great 
timidity, and his biographers assert that he was never in love. 
The readers of his works will note, moreover, that his feminine 
characters are invariably insignificant and weakly drawn. He 
evidently had but a very slight knowledge of women. 

At thirty years of age, after the publication of the first part 
of "Dead Souls," Gogol's productive faculties were blasted; 
after that he merely lingered on, as it were, and at forty-three. 



X NIKOLAI V. GOGOL. 

on February 21st, 1852, he expired. His death caused but Uttle 
stir. Imperial favour no longer upheld him; indeed, the governor 
of Moscow was formally blamed for having followed his coffin to 
the cemetery, and Ivan Turgenieff, the novelist, was exiled to 
his estates for having published an article in which he called 
him a great man. Posterity, however, has ratified that title, 
though' it is, perhaps, difficult to assign to Gogol any precise place 
in the literary Pantheon. M. Merimee places him there beside 
Dean Swift, but the Viscount de Vogue would prefer to find him 
a niche of honour between Cervantes and Le Sage. Be this as 
it may, it is at least certain that " Dead Souls," his unfinished 
masterpiece, has for forty years remained the greatest work of 
fiction in the Russian language. The incidents of the story are 
ever fresh in people's minds, and are constantly alluded to in 
the course of everyday conversation throughout the length and 
breadth of the Russian empire. Many of GogoVs sallies, too, 
have become proverbial expressions, and the names of the 
personages whom he introduced to his compatriots in "Dead 
Souls " have grown as familiar in their mouths as household 
words. 

In concluding these prefatory remarks, it should be stated 
that Gogol having left his work unfinished, the present trans- 
lator has, for the sake of continuity, borrowed various con- 
necting passages from M. Charriere's French version of the 
story, and has also added the sequel to it, written by Dr. 
Zahartchenko, of Kief. ^ 



DEAD SOULS. 



CHAPTER I. 

THE CAriTAli OF THE GOVERNMENT. 

A S5IALL and quite a pretty britcbka on springs entered the gates 
of the hostehy in the provincial city of N. N. ; it was of the 
sort used by retired colonels, staff-captains, landed gentry who 
own some two hundred souls of peasants, and, in a word, by 
fill who are called gentlemen of the middle class. In the 
britcbka sat a gentleman who was neither handsome nor yet 
very plain in his personal appearance, neither too stout nor too 
ihin ; it was impossible to say that he was old, nor could he 
be called very young. His arrival i^roduced no commotion 
whatever in the town, and was not signalised by anything in 
particular; though two moujiks who were standing at the door of 
ti pot-house opposite the inn, made some remarks, which had, 
however, more reference to the equipage than to the person 
jseated in it. " Just look," said one of them to the other, 
" what a wheel that is ! What do you think ? Will that wheel 
last as far as Moscow, or not ? " — " Oh ! it will hold out," replied 
the other. " But it won't hold out as far as Kazan, I fancy ? " 
— "It will not," returned the other. And here the conversa- 
tion ended. However, as the britcbka drove into the inn-yard, it 
was met by a young man in white duck trousers very narrow 
and very short, and a swallow-tailed coat with claims to fashion, 
beneath which was visible a shirt-front fastened with a Tula 
jDin, in the shape of a bronze pistok The young man turned 
round, surveyed the equipage, caught hold of his cap, which 
the wind was on the point of blowing off, and then went his 
way. 

When the carriage had entered the courtyard, the gentleman 
was received by one of the servants of the inn — a 2>olovoi as they 



12 DEAD SOULS. 

ars called in Russian hostelries — who was so lively and restless 
that it was even impossible to see what sort of a face he had. 
He ran out briskly, napkin in hand, his lanky figure clad in a 
long cotton surtout, with its waist almost at the nape of his 
neck, tossed back his hair, and quickly led the gentleman up- 
stairs along the whole length of a wooden gallery, to show him 
the chamber sent him by God. The chamber was of the well- 
known sort, for the inn was also of the familiar species — that 
is to say, exactly like all taverns in provincial towns, where for 
two roubles a day, travellers obtain a sleeping-room full of beetles 
which peep out of every corner like plums, and having a door 
leading into an adjoining apartment, which door is always blocked 
up with a chest of drawers. In that room too a neighbour is 
always lodged, some silent and quiet, but very curious man, 
who takes an interest in finding out every particular relating to 
the stranger. The frontage of the hostelry corresponded with 
its interior : it was very long, and two storeys high ; the lower 
one was not stuccoed, but preserved the hue of its dark-red 
bricks, which Avere already of a muddy tint by nature, and 
had grown still darker through the severe weather of many 
years ; the upper storey was painted the inevitable yellow. On 
the lower floor there were shops with horse-collars, ropes, and 
cracknels, &c., and in the corner shop, or rather at its window, 
sat a shiten -•'■ seller, with a samovar of red copper, and a face as 
red as his samovar. At a distance it might have even been 
supposed that two samovars were standing in the window, had 
not the man had a beard as black as pitch. 
'^ ^Vhile the newly-arrived gentleman was inspecting his room, 
his luggage was brought in ; first of all came a trunk of white 
leather, somewhat the worse for wear, and showing signs that 
this was not the first time it had travelled. The ti'unk was 
brought in by the coachman Selifan, an undersized man in a 
short tiihq),-\ and the footman Petrushka, a young fellow of 
thirty, with a rather surly face, a very thick nose and lips, and 
wearing a plain, somewhat worn surtout, which had evidently 
come from his master's shoulders. After the trunk came a 
dressing-case of mahogany with inlaid decorations of veined 
birChwood, a boot-jack, and a roast chicken wrapped up in blue 
paper. When all this had been brought in, the coachman Seli- 
fan betook himself to the stable to see to the horses, and the 

* Shiten is a beverage made of water, honey, and laurel-leaves, or 
Falvia, and'often drunk in Eussia instead of tea, especially by the poorer 
classes. 

t A sheepskin coat. 



THE CAPITAL OF THE GOVERNMENT. 13 

footman Petrushka began to settle himself in the small ante- 
room, an extremely dark little hole, whither he had already- 
contrived to transport his cloak, and with it some of his own 
peculiar odour, which had been communicated to, and was 
wafted after, the bag containing the articles pertaining to his 
toilet. In this tiny den he placed against the wall a narrow, 
three-legged bedstead, covered it with a small semblance of a 
mattress as flat as a pancake, and perhaps as greasy, which he 
had succeeded in procuring from the landlord of the inn. 

While his servants were installing themselves and getting 
things to rights, the gentleman had betaken himself to the 
general parlour. Every traveller knows what these common 
parlours are like : the same walls painted in oil colours, 
darkened above by pipe -smoke, and covered below with the 
marks made by the backs of travellers and tradespeople, for 
merchants come here on market-days in sixes and sevens to 
drink their customarj' two glasses of tea. There was the usual 
smoke-begrimed ceiling, the same smoky chandelier with its 
multitude of pendant glass drops, which leaped and jingled 
every time the waiter ran across the Avorn oil-cloth, boldly 
flourishing his tray, upon which stood well-nigh as many tea- 
cups as there are birds on the seashore. Moreover, there were 
the usual oil paintings on the walls ; in a word, everything was 
exactly the same as what is found everywhere, the only differ- 
ence being that one of the pictures represented a nj^mph with 
such an enormous bosom as the reader has, in all probability, 
never beheld. Such freaks of nature, however, occur in various 
historical pictures, whence, at what time, and by whom brought 
to us in Russia, is unknown, but sometimes by our grandees 
and art-lovers, who have purchased them in Italy on the advice 
of the couriers who conducted them. 

The gentleman threw off his cap and unwound from his neck 
a raiubow-hued woollen scarf, such as a wife prepares for her 
husband with her own hands, giving it to him with suitable 
instructions how to wrap himself up. Who makes these things 
for bachelors no one can tell. God knows ! For myself, 
although a celibatarian, I have never worn such a scarf. Hav- 
ing unwound his scarf, the gentleman ordered dinner. While 
they served him with the various dishes usual at an inn, such 
as ca'bbage soup with tarts, purposely kept for several weeks, 
calf's brains with peas, small sausages with cabbage, roast 
capon, pickled cucumbers, and the eternal sweet puff-paste tarts 
which are always ready at one's service — while he A'^as being 
served with all these either warm or cold, he made the waiter 



It DEAD SOULS. 

tell him all sorts of nonsense about -who had formerly kept the 
inn, and who kept it now, whether there was much profit 
derived from it, and whether the landlord was a great rogue, 
to which the waiter answered according to custom, " Oh, a very- 
great one, sir ! a perfect rascal ! " For there are a great many 
people nowadays in civilized Russia Avho cannot eat a mouthful 
in a tavern without talking to the servant, and even sometimes 
jesting in an amusing way at his expense. 

However, the new arrival's questions were not all foolish 
ones. He inquired with great minuteness who was the gover- 
nor of the town, who was president of the court, who was pro- 
curator ; in short, .he did not omit a single individual of impor- 
tance ; but he interrogated him with still greater minuteness 
concerning all the prominent landowners : how many^^souls^_ 
(a^rfe) such a one had, how far he lived from town, what his 
character was, even, and how often he came into the city ; he 
inquired, too, attentively concerning the condition of that 
region — were there no diseases in the government, epidemic 
complaints, deadly fevers, small-pox, and the like ; and he put 
other questions of the same sort, and in a manner which gave 
proof of something more than mere curiosity. There was 
something respectable about the gentleman's manners, and he 
blew his nose very loudly. It is impossible to say how he 
managed it, but his nose resounded like a trumpet. This won him 
much respect from the servant, who every time he heard the 
noise shook back his hair, straightened himself up into a more 
respectful attitude, and then bending down his head from his full 
height, inquired, "Is there anything you would like, sir?" 
After dinner the gentleman sipped a small cup of coffee, and 
seated himself on the sofa, placing behind his back the cushion, 
which in Russian taverns is stuffed with something very much 
resembling bricks and pebbles instead of wool. 

Then he began to yawn, and ordered them to show him to 
his room, where he lay down and slept for two hours. Having 
rested himself, he wrote upon a scrap of paper, at the request 
of the servant, his title. Christian name, and surname, so that they 
might be communicated to the police, according to regulation. 
The waiter, as he descended the stairs, spelt out on the bit of 
paper the following words: "Collegiate Councillor^ Pavel 
Ivanovitch Tchitchikoff, landed proprietor, travelling on~his 
own private business." 

While the waiter was still engaged in deciphering this, letter 
by letter, Pavel Ivanovitch Tchitchikoff set out to take a look 
at the town, which seemed to be satisfactory, for he found that 



THE CAPITAL OF THE GOVERNMENT. 15 

it was not a whit behind other provincial cities ; the yellow 
paint on the stone buildings struck the eye forcibly, and the 
wooden structures were of a modest dark grey. The houses 
were one and two storeys high, or a storey and a half, includ- 
ing the inevitable " entresol," which is so very beautiful, in the 
opinion of provincial architects. In some places, these houses 
seemed lost in the middle of a street which was as broad as a 
field, with interminable wooden fences ; in other places they 
were collected in a cluster ; and here more activity on the part 
of the people and more life were perceptible. Signboards met 
the eye, with representations of cracknels and boots, nearly 
obliterated by the rain; and here and there was a painting of 
a pair of blue breeches, and the name of some Warsaw tailor. 
Here, moreover, was a shop full of caps — leather caps with 
peaks, and military ones ; over there a billiard-table was 
depicted with two players wearing swallow-tailed coats, such as 
visitors to the theatres put on when they intend to go behind 
the scenes after the last act. The players were painted with 
their cues in position, with their arms somewhat drawn back, 
and with crooked legs which had just executed a flourish in the 
air. Beneath all this was written, " Here's the Establishment." 
Here and there tables stood in the street, bearing nuts, and 
soap, and gingerbread which looked like soap ; in other places 
there were eating-houses, with pictures of a fat fish, and a fork 
thrust into it. Most frequently of all, one noticed darkened 
figures of the imperial two-headed eagle, nowadays replaced by 
the laconic inscription, "Drinking-house."'''- The pavement was 
everywhere in a bad condition. 

The traveller glanced at the city-garden, which was planted 
with sickly trees, and after catechising the sentry there as to 
the nearest way of reaching the cathedral, the courts, and the 
governor's house, in case of need, he went to survey the river, 
which flowed through the middle of the city. On the way he 
tore down a theatrical poster from the pillar to which it was 
attached, in order that he might read it thoroughly on his return 
home ; stared intently at a rather pretty woman who passed along 
the sidewalk, followed by a little boy in military livery, with a 
package in his hand ; and then he went home and to his room, 
being assisted upstairs by the servant of the inn. After drinking 
his tea, he seated himself at the table , ordered a light to be brought, 
pulled the poster out of his pocket, held it near the candle, and 
began to read it, half shutting his right eye as he did so. The 

* Until recent times, the crown received the revenues of the drinking- 
houscs, or kahaki ; hence the two-headed eagles. 



16 DEAD SOULS. 

poster contained but little of interest : a drama of Kotzebue's was 
to be performed at the local theatre, Mr. Poplevin playing the 
part of Rolla, and Miss Zyablova that of Cora. The rest of the 
characters were of no consequence, nevertheless he read all the 
names, and even got as far as the prices for the pit, and learnt 
that the poster was printed at the Government printing-office. 
He then, it appears, wound up the day with a plateful of cold 
veal, some sour cabbage-soup, and a sound sleep — a regular 
hear sleep, as people say in some localities of the vast Russian 
empire. 

The whole of the following day was devoted to visits. The 
new-comer set out to call upon all the official hierarchy of the town. 
He paid his respects to the governor, who, like himself, was 
neither fat nor lean in person. The governor wore the order of 
St. Anna '^ dangling from his neck, and was said to be down on the 
list for a star ; he was a very good-natured man, moreover, and 
sometimes embroidered on tulle. Then the traveller called upon 
the vice-governor, the jbrocurator, the president of the court, 
the chief of police, the farmer of the brandy revenues, the 
director of the imperial factories — indeed, suffice it to say that 
he displayed unusual activity in the matter of calls. 

In his conversations with the ruling personages, he contrived 
to flatter each in a very artful way. He hinted to the governor, 
as though cursorily, that to visit his government was like enter- 
ing Paradise. The roads were everywhere like velvet, he said ; 
and he added that the rulers who appointed wise officers were 
worthy of the greatest praise. To the chief of police he said 
something extremely flattering about the watchmen of the town ; 
and in -the course of conversation with the vice-governor and 
the president of the court, who were as 3'et only state. council- 
lors, he twice addressed them as " Your Excellency" f by mis- 
take, which pleased them greatly. The result of this was that 
the governor asked him to honour him that same evening with 
his company at a family party ; the other officials did the same 
on their part, one asking him to dinner, another to a game 
of Boston,;]: and a thii'd to drink a cup of tea. 

The stranger appeared to avoid saying much about himself ; 

* The fifth, in rank of the Russian orders; was founded Felj. 14, 1735, 
by Charles Frederic of Schleswig-Holstein. 

t Tashe prcvoskhoditclstvo. This title is due only to the memhers of the 
third and fourth classes of the Eussian hierarchj'^. As memhers of the 
fifth class, the vice-governor and the judge only had a right to the title 
of Vuisokopoduii, "wellborn." 

j "Boston," a card game vrhich was very popular on the Continent 
during the first half of the present century. 



THE CAPITAL OF THE GOVERNMENT. 17 

but when he did say anything, it consisted of commonplace 
remarks, uttered with evident discretion. He had gone through 
a great deal in his time, he said. He had suffered for the sake 
of Right ; he had many enemies, who even sought his life ; and 
now, feeling desirous of settling down in peace, he was seeking 
a place of residence. Having reached that town, he added, he 
had regarded it as his positive duty to pay his respects to the 
principal officials. Such was all that people learned regarding 
this new arrival, who did not fail to make his appearance 
promptly at the governor's assembly. His preparations for 
this party occupied him more than two hours, for he paid un- 
wonted attention to his toilet. 

After a brief after-dinner nap, he had an elaborate wash, 
changed his linen, and finally donned a cranberry -coloured, 
swallow-tailed coat. Having dressed in this fashion, he drove 
in his own carriage along the wide, interminable streets, illumin- 
ated by the feeble light gleaming here and there from the 
windows. However, the governor's house was illuminated as 
though for a ball : there were calashes with lanterns, two sentries 
at the entrance, and postilions' shouts in the distance ; in short, 
all that was requisite. Tchitchikoff was almost forced to close 
his eyes on his entrance into the drawing-room, for the glare of 
the candles, the lamps, and the ladies' dresses was terrible. 
Everything was flooded with light. Black dress-coats, moreover, 
fluttered hither and thither, and Tchitchikoff had not succeeded 
in looking about him when his arm was seized by the governor, 
who at once presented him to his wife. The newly-arrived 
guest thereupon favoured the lady with a compliment — a very 
polite one for a middle-aged man whose official rank was neither 
very high nor very low. When the couples of dancers drove 
everyone against the walls as they came to a stand-still, he put 
his hands behind his back and looked at them very attentively 
for a couple of minutes. Many ladies were dressed fashionably 
and well ; others were clothed with whatever God had sent to 
that provincial town. The men here, as everywhere else, were 
of two sorts. Some were slender, and hovered incessantly 
about the ladies ; a few of them — who were only with difficulty 
distinguishable from Petersbui'gians — wore tastefully arranged 
whiskers, or had fine-looking, smoothly shaven faces. 

These seated themselves beside the ladies, talked to them 
in French, and threw them into confusion exactly as if they 
were in the capital. The other men consisted of the stout ones, 
or those who were like the stranger, Tchitchikoff; that is, not 
go very fat, and yet not thin. These latter looked askance at 



18 DEAD SOULS. 

the ladies, and retreated from them, casting sidelong glances 
about them to discover whether the governor's servants had set 
out the green tables for whist anywhere. Their faces were full 
and round, some of them had beards, here and there one of 
them was pock-marked. These were the prominent officials of 
the town. 

Alas ! fat men know better how to manage their affairs in 
this world than thin ones do. The thin ones only serve on 
special commissions, or are merely in the ranks, and change 
about here and there ; their existence is too light in some way, 
too airy, and not to be depended upon. But the stout ones 
never fill minor positions, they always hold responsible ones ; 
and if they do settle down anywhere, they do so forcibly and 
reliably, so that the place itself trembles and threatens to give 
way beneath them. They are not fond of external glitter; 
their coats are not so skilfully cut as the thin men's coats ; but, 
on the other hand, they have plenty of cash in their coffers. 

Tchitchikoflf thought of all this as he surveyed the company, 
and the result was that he finally joined the stout men, among 
whom he found nearly all his acquaintances. The procurator, 
who had very black, thick brows, and a left eye which was 
rather given to mnking, as much as to say, " Come into the 
other room, my boy, and I'll tell you something! " He was a 
serious and reticent man, however. Then there was the post- 
master, a man of low stature, but a wit and a philosopher ; and 
the president of the court, a very sensible and amiable man. 
All these greeted Tchitchikoff as an old friend, whereupon he 
bowed, somewhat on one side, but not without courtesy. He 
next made the acquaintance of a very polite and friendly land- 
owner, Maniloff, and of a rather awkward one, Sobakevitch, 
who trod on his foot the very first thing, and said, " I beg your 
pardon ! " 

They all immediately asked him to join them at whist, 
and he agreed to do so with a very good grace. They seated 
themselves at a small table and did not rise until supper-time. 
All conversation entirely ceased, as is proper when people give 
themselves up to active business. Although the postmaster was 
very talkative, even he, as soon as he had taken his cards in 
his hand, thought fit to assume a thoughtful expression and 
puckered up his lips. He remained thus all the time that the 
game lasted. Whenever he played a court-card, however, he 
smote the table heavily with his hand, saying, if it were the 
queen, " Go along, old popess ! " and if the king, " Away with 
you, you Tamboff moujik ! " And the president constantly 



THE CAPITAL OF THE GOVERNMENT. 19 

exclaimed, " I've got him by the moustache ! " or "I've got her 
by the moustache ! " Sometimes as the cards fell on the table, 
exclamations resounded such as, "Ah ! to be, or not to be ; " 
" There's nothing to be done; " " So there's a diamond ! " and 
60 on. At the end of the game the players disputed loudly, 
and the traveller joined in the discussions, but in a pleasant 
manner. He never shouted " Go on! " but politely remarked, 
" Will you have the kindness to play ? I have had the honour 
to cover your ace," and so on. 

Then, in order to propitiate his antagonists, he frequently 
offered them his silver and enamel snuff-box, at the bottom of 
which they perceived two violets which had been placed there 
to scent it. His attention was especially directed to Maniloff 
and Sobakevitch, the landowners already referred to. He im- 
mediately made inquiries about them, calling the president and 
V the postmaster on one side for the purpose. Some of the ques- 
' tions he put to them evinced not only his curiosity, but also his 
solicitude ; for the first thing of all that he asked was, how many 
serfs each of them had, and in what condition their estates were; 
and after that he informed himself as to their names and sur- 
names. In a short time he had succeeded in charming them 
completely. 

Landowner Maniloff, a middle-aged man who had eyes as 
sweet as sugar, and screwed them up every time he laughed, was 
in ecstasies with the traveller. He pressed his hand for a long 
time, and begged him in the most earnest manner to honour 
him with a trip to his estate, which, according to his assertions, 
was only fifteen versts from the city barriers. To this Tchitchi- 
koff replied, with an extremely courteous inclination of the 
head, and a hearty squeeze of the hand, that he was not only 
ready to accept the invitation with great pleasure, but that he 
should consider it a sacred duty to call upon Maniloff. 

Sobakevitch, too, said rather laconically, " I invite you to my 
house also," at the same time giving a backward scrape with 
his left foot, which was shod with a shoe of gigantic size. 

On the following day Tchitchikoff went to dine and spend the 
evening with the chief of police. They sat down to play at 
whist at three in the afternoon, and played until two o'clock in 
the morning. Here he made the acquaintance of a landowner 
named Nozdreff, a man of thirty, a wide-awake young fellow, 
who began to address hini as thou after the first three or four 
words. Nozdreff also called the chief of police and the pro- 
curator zAow, and behaved in a friendly way ; but when they 
began to play for high stakes, the chief of police and the pro- 



20 DEAD SOULS- 

curator watched, every trick he took with great attention, and 
followed up almost every card he laid down. Tchitchikoff 
passed the next evening with the president of the court, who 
received his guests in a rather greasy dressing-gown ; then he 
spent an evening with the vice-governor, dined with the farmer 
of the brandy revenues, attended a small but expensive dinner 
at the procurator's, and a lunch which was given by the mayor of 
the town, and which was equivalent to a dinner. In a word, 
Tchitchikoff was not able to spend a single hour at home, and he 
only entered the inn to sleep. 

The new-comer understood how to adapt himself to every 
circumstance, and showed that he was an accomplished man of 
the world. On whatever subject the converation turned he 
could always keep it up ; if it was a question of breeding horses, 
he spoke about breeding horses ; if his companions talked of fine 
dogs, he made some very practical observations on that subject; 
if they discussed the investigations undertaken by the imperial 
courts of justice, he showed that he was not unacquainted with 
legal affairs ; if a dispute arose over a game at billiards, he was 
not found wanting in the necessary knowledge ; if philanthropy 
was the subject under discussion, he entered into it very fully, 
and tears even came into his eyes ; moreover, he was well 
posted as to the distillation of brandy when that was mentioned ; 
and when they talked of the local officials, he passed judgment 
on them as though he himself were an official. 

It was worthy of note, moreover, that our friend Tchitchikoff 
knew how to impart his views with a fitting gravity of mien, 
and bore himself admirably. He spoke neither loudly nor 
softly, but exactly in the proper key. In short, turn him which 
ever way you would, he was an estimable man. All the officials 
were delighted with him. The governor expressed himself to 
the effect that he was a well-meaning man ; the procurator said 
that he was a practical man ; the commander of the garrison that 
he was a learned man ; the chief of police that he was a respect- 
able and amiable man ; the chiet's wife that he was a most agree- 
able and well-bred man. Even Sobakevitch himself, who rarely 
expressed a favourable opinion of anyone, when he returned at 
H tolerably late hour from town, and, having undressed him- 
self, lay down in bed beside his gaunt wife, he said to her, " My 
love, I spent the evening at the governor's, and dined with the. 
chief of police, and I have made the acquaintance of Collegiate 
Councillor Pavel Ivanovitch Tchitchikoff — a very agreeable man 
he is to." Whereupon his spouse replied " H'm ! " and gave him 
a push with her foot. 



THE MANILOFF FAMILY. 21 

Such was the very flattering opinion •which was formed of 
Tchitchikoff in the town ; and it was maintained until he 
adopted a very singular course of conduct which threw the 
entire locality into a state of amazement. 



CHAPTER II. 

THE MANILOFF FAMILY. 



The strange gentleman had been living in the town for more 
than a week, going about to evening parties, dinners, and hav- 
ing a very good time of it as people say, when he decided to 
pay certain visits out of town ; for instance, to go and see the 
landowners Manilofi" and Sobakevitch, as he had promised. 
Selifan, his coachman, was ordered to harness the horses to the 
well-known britchka early in the morning, while Petrushka was 
ordered to stay at home, and look after the room and the trunk. 
The reader already knows that Petrushka wore a rather loose, 
light-brown surtout, which had belonged to his master, and 
that, according to the custom with people of his class, he had a 
very thick nose and thick lips. In character he was reserved, not 
talkative, and he was even possessed of a noble desire for cul- 
ture — that is to say, he delighted in reading books. The cha- 
racter of these books was a secondary matter ; it was all the 
same to him whether the work recounted the adventures of a 
love-enslaved hero, whether it was an A B C book, or a breviary ; 
he read everything with equal attention. If any one had oflfered 
him a volume of chemistry he would not have refused it. It 
was not so much what he read, as the process of reading, that 
pleased him. He enjoyed the surprise of finding that the letters 
continually formed some word or other, which at times meant 
the deuce only knows what. His reading was chiefly accom- 
plished in a recumbent attitude in the ante-room, where he was 
for ever lying, upon the bedstead and mattress, which became 
in consequence as flat and as thin as a pancake. In addition to 
his passion for reading he had two other characteristic traits — 
he slept without undressing, just as he was, in the same sur- 
tout ; and he always carried about with him a special atmo- 
sphere of his own, a peculiar smell, which corresponded, to 
some extent, with that of a dwelling-room ; so that it sufficed 
for him merely to install himself somewhere, to take his cloak 



22 DEAD SOULS. 

and belongings there, for people to think that the apartment 
had been inhabited for fully ten years. 

Tchitchikoflf, who was very dainty, and even in some respects 
capricious, frowned when this atmosphere saluted his sensitive 
nose in the morning, and shook his head, remarking, " The deuce 
take it, my good fellow, you are sweating. You ought to have 
a bath." To this Petrushka made no reply, but immediately 
busied himself about something, brushed his master's coat, or 
simply carried some article away. What did he think while he 
thus remained silent ? Perhaps he said to himself, " You're 
nice ! Aren't you tired of repeating the same thing forty times 
in succession ?" God alone knows the truth ; it is difficult to 
find out what a house-serf does think when his master is reading 
him a lesson. So this is what may be said of Petrushka in the . 
first place. 

Tchitchikoff, having given the necessary orders for departure 
one evening, awoke very early the next morning, washed, 
wiped himself from head to foot with a damp sponge — which he 
only did on Sundays, and, indeed that day chanced to be a Sun- 
day — shaved himself in such a way that his cheeks seemed to 
be real satin in point of smoothness and polish, donned first his 
cranberry-coloured swallow-tailed coat, and then his cloak lined 
with long-haired bearskin, and went down-stairs, supported 
under the arm by the inn-servant. He seated himself in his 
britchka, which rolled through the gates of the tavern into the 
street with a great noise. A pope (priest), who was passing, 
j removed his hat ; some small boys in dirty blouses extended 
I their hands, saying, " Give alms to the orphans, master ! " and 
( the coachman, perceiving that one of them was hanging on 
behind the carriage, cracked his whip at him ; whereupon the 
britchka went jolting over the stones. It was with delight that 
Tchichikofl* beheld in the distance the striped turnpike-bar, 
which announced that there would soon be an end to the pave- 
ment as to all other torture ; and indeed after striking his head 
a few times with considerable force against the carriage frame 
he was at length borne out upon the soft soil. No sooner was 
the town left behind than upon both sides of the road appeared 
hillocks, fir-woods, plantations of young pines, the charred 
trunks of old ones, some wild heather, and so on. Our traveller 
passed villages stretched out in a line, in architecture resembling 
piles of firewood, the houses being covered with grey roofs, 
Avith carved wooden ornaments beneath them. Some moujiks 
in their sheepskin jackets, and yawning as usual, were seated on 
benches outside the gates. Women with fat faces and closely 



THE MANTLOFF FAMILY. 23 

bound bosoms gazed from the upper -windows ; from the lower 
ones a calf peeped, or else a pig thrust out his snout. In 
short, the views were the customary ones. Having covered 
fifteen versts, Tchitchikoff recollected that, according to Mani- 
loff's account, his estate must be situated somewhere about 
there; however, the sixteenth-verst stone flew past, and still 
no village was visible. In fact, had it not been for two moujiks 
Avho chanced to come along, our hero would hardly have suc- 
ceeded in reaching his destination. At the query, "Is it far to 
Zamanilovka village ? " the moujiks removed their caps, and 
one of them, who was the more sensible of the two, and who 
wore along beard, replied, "Manilovka, possibly, but not Za- 
manilovka." 

" Well, then, Manilovka." 

"Manilovka! You must go on a verst farther, and then 
turn to the right." 

" To the right ? " repeated the coachman. 

" To the right," said the moujik. " That is the road to 
Manilovka, but there is no Zamanilovka. It is called so,-; — that 
is, its name is Manilovka ; and there's no Zamanilovka at all. 
There, right on the hill, you will see a two-floor house built of 
stone ; that's the owner's house ; that is, the gentleman himself 
lives there. That's Manilovka for you ; but there's no Zamani- 
lovka whatever- here, and never has been." 

They drove on in search of Manilovka. After going two versts 
farther, they came to a turning into a cross-country road ; but 
they covered two, three, and even four versts apparently, 
and still no two-floor stone house was visible. Then Tchitchi- 
koff" recollected, that if a friend invites you to visit him at a vil- 
lage fifteen versts off, it means that it is certainly situated about 
thirty versts away. This proved to be the case as regards 
Manilovka. The seigneurial house stood alone on a height, 
exposed to every wind which blew : the slope of the hill upon 
which it was perched was covered with short turf. Upon it, in 
the English fashion, were scattered two or three clumps of 
shrubbery — lilac-bushes, and acacias, with five or six birch-trees 
rearing their fine-leaved, slender crests. Beneath two of them 
a summer house was visible, with a green cupola, blue wooden 
columns, and the inscription, " The Temple of Solitary Meditation." 
Lower down there was a pond, covered with green scum, which 
is no novelty in the English gardens belonging to the Russian 
landed gentry. At the foot of the hill and also partly on the 
declivity itself, some wooden cottages stood out, and our hero 
for some unknown reason began to count them on the spot, and 



24 DEAD SOULS. 

reckoned up over two hundred. Nowhere among them was 
there a tree or any particle of green stuff : nothing whatever 
but smooth boards. 

The view was enlivened by two women, who with their 
dresses picturesquely tucked up, were wading up to their knees 
in the pond, dragging a torn net, in which one could espy two 
entangled crabs and a glistening flatfish. These women seemed 
to be quarrelling, and upbraiding each other about something. 
Far off on one side a pine-forest stretched monotonously blue. 
The sky was neither clear nor cloudy, but of a light-gray tint ; 
and to complete the picture, there was a cock, that prophet of 
a change of weather, who, although he had been sorely treated 
by other cocks, on account of certain matters connected with 
courtship, crowed very loudly, and even flapped his wings, 
which were as frowsy as old rugs. 

As Tchitchikoff drove into the courtyard, he perceived Mani- 
loff himself standing under the verandah, in a green shalloon 
coat, and with his hand pressed to his brow, so as to form a 
screen for his eyes, with which he was surveying the approaching 
equipage. As the britchka came near to the verandah, his eyes 
grew merrier, and his smile became broader and broader. 

" Pavel Ivanovitch! " he exclaimed at length, as Tchitchikoff 
descended from the britchka. " So you have remembered us 
at last ! " 

The two friends kissed each other heartily, and Maniloff led 
his guest indoors. This landowner was a well-favoured man 
in personal appearance : his features were agreeable, but they in- 
dicated that he was rather too much permeated with sugar. There 
was something about his manners and ways indicating that he 
sought favour and acquaintanceship. He smiled seductively, 
was of a fair complexion, and had blue eyes. You could not 
help saying, the first moment you spoke with him, " What a 
nice agreeable man?" The next moment you would say 
nothing; but at the third you would remark, "The deuce 
knows what this fellow is like ! " and you would go off as far 
away from him as possible ; in fact if you did not retreat, you 
would feel bored to death. You expected no quick or arrogant 
word from him, such as you may hear from almost any person if 
you touch upon a subject he dislikes. Maniloff never displayed 
a bad temper ; nor had he any hobbies or peculiarities. At 
home he said very little, and was mostly occupied in thought 
and meditation : but the subject of his thoughts was probably 
known to God alone. It is impossible to say that he busied 
himself with the management of his estate, for he never even 



' THE MANILOFF FAMILY. 26 

went into the fields, and affairs seemed to manage themselves. 
When the steward said, " It would be as well, sir, to do so and 
80," — " Yes : it would not be bad," was his customary reply, 
as he puffed away at his pipe, which had become a habit with 
him when he served in the army, where he had been considered 
the most discreet, most delicate, and the most accomplished, of 
officers. " Yes, it really would not be bad," he repeated. 

When a moujik came to him, and said, as he scratched the 
back of his head, " Master, pray let me leave my work, allow 
me to earn something," — " Go," he replied as he smoked his 
pipe ; and it never even entered his head that the moujik had 
gone off on a drunken carouse. Sometimes, as he gazed from 
the verandah at the yard and the pond, he said that it would be 
as well if an underground passage could be made from the 
house, or if a stone bridge were built across the pond with 
booths on each side, where dealers might sit and sell the various 
small wares required by the peasants. At such times, his eyes 
became particularly sweet, and his face assumed a most satisfied 
expression. 

However, all these projects were confined to words alone. 
Some book or other was always lying in his study, with a mark 
at the fourteenth page ; a book which he had been reading con- 
stantly for the last two years. There was forever something 
lacking in the house : in the drawing-room, there was some 
very handsome furniture, covered with an elegant silken 
material, which certainly must have cost a high price ; but on 
two of the arm-chairs it was missing, and they were simply 
covered with rugs. For several years, Maniloff had said to his 
visitors, " Don't sit down on those chairs, they are not ready 
yet." In one room of the house, too, there was no furniture 
at all ; though directly after his marriage he had remarked, 
"My love, we must see about putting some furniture into that 
room to-morrow, if only for a time." In the evening a very hand- 
some candlestick of dark bronze, representing the three Graces, 
and with an elegant mother-of-pearl shade, was placed upon the 
table, and beside it was set a plain brass candlestick, which was 
lame, twisted on one side, and all covered with tallow, although 
neither master, mistress, nor servants perceived it. 

Maniloff and his wife were perfectly satisfied with each other. 
In spite of the fact that they had been married for more than 
eight years, each was constantly ofiering the other a bit of apple, 
or a sugar-plum, or a nut, and saying in a touchingly tender 
voice, expressive of the most perfect affection, " Open your 
little mouth, my soul, and I will put this tidbit in." Of course 



26 DEAD SOULS. 

the little mouth opened very gracefully on such occasions. 
Surprises were prepared for 4)irth days, such as a mother-of- 
pearl case for a toothbrush. And very frequently, as the ] 
husband and the wife sat on the sofa, the former would suddenly ; 
abandon his pipe, for some utterly inscrutable cause, and the 
other her work, if she chanced to have any in her hand at the 
time, and they would imprint upon each other's Hps such a 
long and languishing kiss, that a cigarette might have been 
smoked during the time it lasted. In a word, they were what 
is called happy. But it may be observed that there are many 
other occupations in a house besides indulging in prolonged 
kisses and surprises ; and many different questions might have 
been put to the Maniloff couple. Why, for instance, did 
matters go on so stupidly and senselessly in the kitchen ? Why 
was the storeroom so empty? Why have a thief for house- 
keeper ? Why were the servants dirty and intoxicated ? Why 
did they all sleep so unmercifully, or spend their time in playing 
pranks ? But all these are trivial subjects, for Madame Manilova 
had been to a boarding school ; and a good education is received 
in boarding-schools, as is well known. Three principal subjects 
there constitute the foundation of human virtue, — the French 
language, which is indispensable to family happiness ; the piano- 
forte, necessary to afford pleasant moments to a husband ; and 
lastly, come matters of domestic management, — such as knitting 
purses, and other sui-prises. 

But let us return to our heroes, who have been standing for 
several minutes before the drawing-room door, entreating each 
other to enter first. 

" Pray do not put yourself out so much for me ; I will follow 
you," said Tchitchikoff. 

" No, Pavel Ivanovitch, no ; you are a guest," said Maniloff, 
pointing to the door. 

"Pray do not object; I beg that you will enter," rejoined 
Tchitchikoff. 

"No, excuse me. I will not permit such a pleasant and 
accomphshed guest to walk behind me." 

" Why accomplished ? Please go in." 

" Well, then, please pass in yourself." 

"But why?" 

" Well, because," said Maniloff, with a pleasant smile. 

Finally the two friends passed through the doorway side by 
side, crowding each other a little in the process. 

" Allow me to present my wife to you," said Maniloff. " My 
love, Pavel Ivanovitch." 



THE MANILOFF FAMILY. 27 

Then Tcliitchikoff saw a lady, whom he had not yet even 
noticed, saluting him and Maniloff. She was pretty, and be- 
comingly dressed. Her loose gown of pale silk suited her well. 
With one of her small, delicate hands she hastily flung something 
on the table, and then, clasping a cambric handkerchief with 
embroidered corners, she rose from the divan on which she was 
seated. Tchitchikoft' approached to kiss her hand. Mrs. Mani- 
lova, with rather a strong roll on her r's, declared that he had 
greatly delighted them by his arrival, and that her husband 
never let a day pass by without mentioning him. 
■ " Yes," added Maniloff, " she has got into the habit of asking 
me, ' Why does not your friend come ? ' ' Wait, my love,' I 
say, ' he will come.' And now he has at length favoured us 
with a visit. Truly, he has afforded us the same pleasure as 
one feels in May, on the anniversary of the heart." 

Tchitchikoff" became a little embarrassed when he heard that 
affairs had already got as far as the anniversary of the heart, 
and he modestly replied that he possessed neither a great name 
nor any distinguished rank. 

" You have everything," broke in Maniloff with the same 
pleasant smile ; " you have all that, and even more." 

"How did our town strike you?" added Mrs. Manilova. 
" Did you pass the time pleasantly there ? " 
' " It is a very fine town, a very beautiful town," replied 
Tchitchikoff", " and I spent the time most agreeably; the society 
there is very friendly." 

" And how did you like onr governor ? " asked Mrs. Manilova. 

"He is a very dignified and amiable person, is he not?" 
added Maniloff. 

" Quite true," said Tchitchikoff'; " a most worthy man. 
And how he enters into his duties I how well he understands 
them ! It would be well if there were a few more such men." 

" Yes, how well he understands the way to receive people, 
and behave discreetly and courteously ! " chimed in Maniloff, 
with a smile, and almost closing his eyes with pleasure, like a 
cat whom one is tickling gently behind the ears with one's 
finger. 

" He is a very sociable and agreeable man," continued Tchit- 
chikoff; " and what an artist ! I should never even have imagined 
such a thing ! How well he embroiders ! He gave me a purse 
of his workmanship ; even a lady who can embroider so taste- 
fully is seldom seen." 

" And the vice-governor — what a nice man he is, is he not?" 
said Maniloff, again drawing his eyelids down a little. 



23 DEAD SOULS. 

" A very, very worthy man," replied Tcbitchikoff. 

" Well, and pray how did the chief of police impress you ? 
He is a very agreeable man, is he not ?" 

" Extremely agreeable ; and what a sensible, well-read man ! 
We played whist with him, and the procurator, and the presi- 
dent of the court, until the cocks crowed. A very, very worthy 
man." 

"Well, and what is your opinion of the chief- of-police's 
wife?" added Mrs. Manilova. "She is a very charming 
woman, is she not?" 

" Oh, she is one of the most estimable women I know,'- 
replied Tchitchikoflf. 

After this they dealt with the president of the court and the 
postmaster; and in this way they spoke of nearly all the 
officials in the town, who all seemed to be most estimable 
persons. 

" Do you always live in the country ?" asked Tcbitchikoff, at 
length putting a question in his turn. 

"Principally in the country," answered Maniloff. " Some- 
times, however, we go to town for the purpose of meeting cul- 
tivated people. One gets rusty, you know, if one lives all the 
time shut up." 

" True, true," said Tcbitchikoff. 

"Of course," continued Maniloff, "it would be a different 
thing if the neighbourhood were good — if, for instance, there 
were a man with whom one could in any way discuss amiability, 
good breeding, or follow up any science which would stir the 

soul, and impart a lofty flight, so to speak, to " Here he 

wished to express something or other, and, perceiving that he 
had already conveyed some idea of his meaning, he simply 
waved his hand in the air, and went on. " Then, of course, 
the country and solitude would possess many charms. But 
there is absolutely no one hereabouts. Why, one merely reads 
the ' Son of the Fatherland' now and then." 

Tcbitchikoff perfectly agreed with his entertainer, adding that, 
in his mind, nothing could be more delightful than to live in 
solitude, and enjoy the spectacle of nature, and sometimes read 
some book or other. 

" But then, you know," said Maniloff, " if you have no friend 
with whom you can share " 

" Oh, that is true, quite true," interrupted Tcbitchikoff, 
" What are all the treasures in the world under such circum- 
stances ? * Possess not money, possess good people for asso- 
ciates,' said a certain wise man." 



THE MANTLOFF FAMILY. 29 

" And do you know, Pavel Ivanovitch," said Maniloff, with a 
look of mingled sweetness and hypocrisy, "with a true friend 
one experiences something in the nature of spiritual enjoyment ? 
For instance, when chance afforded me the happiness, the signal 
happiness, I may say, of talking to you, and of enjoying your 
charming conversation " 

" Oh, really, now, what charming conversation do you 
mean 1 I am an insignificant man, and nothing more," replied 
Tchitchikoflf. 

" Pavel Ivanovitch ! allow me to be frank. I would gladly 
give the half of all my possessions to acquire even a portion of 
your merits." 

" On the contrary, I, for my part, should regard it as the 
greatest — " 

No one knows what this mutual outpouring of sentiment 
would have led to, if a servant had not announced at that 
moment that dinner was ready. 

" I beg of you humbly," said Maniloff, " to remain and dine 
with us. You will excuse us if our dinner is not like what 
people serve in capital cities ; we simply have cabbage soup, 
after the Russian fashion, but we ofi"er it with a pure heart. I 
most respectfully beg of you to join us." 

Then they disputed for a while as to who should go first ; and 
finally Tchitchikofi" entered the dining-room side by side with 
them. 

In the dining-room stood two boys, Manilofi"s sons, who were 
of that age when children are seated at table in high chairs. 
Beside them stood their tutor, who bowed and smiled politely. 
Tho hostess seated herself behind the soup tureen ; the guest 
was placed between the host and hostess, and a servant fastened 
napkins round the children's necks. 

"What charming children!" said Tchitchikofi", gazing at 
them. " How old are they ? " 

" The elder is eight ; the other was six only yesterday," said 
Mrs. Manilova. 

" Themistoclus," said Maniloff", turning to the elder boy, who 
was trying to free his chin from the napkin which the lackey had 
tied about it. Tchitchikofi" elevated his eyebrows on hearing 
this Grecian name, to which Maniloff", for some unknown reason, 
had given the termination us ; but he immediately tried to 
restore his countenance to its wonted expression. 

" Tell me, Themistoclus, which is the finest city in 
France?" 

Here the tutor directed his whole attention upon Themis- 



30 DEAD SOULS. 

toclus, and seemed to want to fly at him ; but he became quite 
composed again, and nodded his head approvingly, when 
Themistoclus said " Paris." 

" And what is our finest city," asked Maniloff. 

Again the tutor turned his attention upon the boy. 

" Petersburg," replied Themistoclus. ) 

" And still another ? " 

" Moscow," replied Themistoclus. 

"You clever darling," said Tchitchikoff. "But do you 
know," he continued, instantly turning to Maniloff with a look 
of some surprise. "But do you know this child possesses great 
capacity." 

"Oh, you don't know him yet!" replied Maniloff; "he is 
very clever indeed. Here's the younger one, Alcides, he is not 
so quick ; but the elder one, if he comes across a beetle, his 
little eyes begin to dance all at once, and he runs after it and 
directs his attention to it immediately. I shall put him into the 
diplomatic service. Themistoclus," he again began, turning to 
the youngster, " do you want to be an ambassador ? " 

" Yes," replied Themistoclus, chewing away at his bread, and 
wagging his head from right to left. 

Just at that moment the footman, who stood behind the 
embryo ambassador, wiped his nose, and it was as well that he 
did so, for otherwise something unpleasant would have fallen 
into the soup. 

During dinner the conversation turned upon the pleasures of a 
quiet life, interspersed with remarks from the hostess about the 
theatres and the actors in the town. The tutor looked very 
attentively at the speakers, and as soon as he perceived that 
they were about to smile, he invariably opened his mouth and 
laughed heartily. He was probably a grateful person, and 
wished in this manner to repay the host for his good treatment. 
Once, however, his countenance assumed a gloomy expression, 
and he struck the table sternly, fixing his eyes upon the children, 
who sat opposite him. This happened when Themistoclus bit 
Alcides's ear, and when Alcides, with his eyes puckered up, and 
mouth wide open, seemed about to sob in the most pitiful 
manner. However, realising that he might be deprived of some 
dish by way of punishment, he brought his mouth back to its 
former position, and with tears in his eyes began to gnaw a 
mutton bone, which caused both his cheeks to shine with grease. 

The hostess turned to Tchitchikoff very frequently, saying, 
" You are not eating anything ; you have taken very little." 

To which Tchitchikoff each time replied, "I am greatly 



THE MANILOFF FAMILY. 31 

obliged ; I am full. Agreeable conversation is better than any 
dish whatever." 

Finally, they all rose from the table. Maniloff was extremely 
well-pleased ; and supporting his friend's back with his hand, 
be was on the point of conducting him to the drawing-room, 
when suddenly Tchitchikoff announced, with a very important 
look, that he desired to speak with him on a momentous subject. 

" In that case, permit me to invite you into my study," said 
Maniloff ; and he led him into a small room where the windows 
looked out upon the blue forest. " This is my little nook," he 
added. 

" A pleasant httle room," remarked Tchitchikoff, casting his 
eyes about it. The room was really not unpleasant ; the walls 
were painted a greyish-blue colour. There were four chairs, 
one arm-chair, a table upon which lay the little book with the 
marker of which of which we have already had occasion to 
speak, and some papers covered with writing. However, there 
was more tobacco than anything else. It was in various forms 
— in paper packages, in boxes, and even piled in a heap on the 
table. On the sills of both windows, various piles of ashes, 
shaken out of pipes, w^ere arranged with some attempt at an 
ornamental disposition. It was evident that this occasionally 
afforded Maniloff a means of whihng his time away. 

" Permit me to request you to place yourself in this arm- 
chair," said he. " You will be more comfortable here." 

" No ; allow me to sit upon an ordinary chair." 

"That cannot be allowed, if you please," resumed Maniloff 
with a smUe. " My armchau- is expressly assigned to guests; 
whether j'ou like it or not, you must sit in it." 

Tchitchikoff' sat down. 

" Permit me to offer you a pipe," said his host. 

" No ; I do not smoke," replied Tchitchikoff' pohtely, and 
with a certain air of regret. 

"Why?" asked Maniloff also politely, and with an air of 
regret. 

"I have never acquired the habit of smoking; a pipe is said 
to dry one up." 

" Pennit me to remark that that is prejudice. I even hold 

that smoking a pipe is much more healthy than taking snuff'. 

i There was a lieutenant in our regiment, a very handsome and 

! cultivated man, who never took his pipe out of his mouth, not 

I even when he was at table or anywhere else, if I may say so. 

And now he is over forty ; and, thank God, up to the present 

time he is so well that he could not possibly be better." 



32 DEAD SOULS. ^ 

Tchitchikoff remarked that that really did happen at times, 
and that there were many things in nature which could not be 
explained by even the most far-seeing minds. 

" But permit me now to ask one question," he began in a 
tone in which there was a strange, or almost a strange, expres- 
sion, and then he glanced behind him, it is impossible to say 
why. Maniloff also glanced behind him for some inexplicable 
reason. " How long is it," resumed Tchitchikoff, " since you 
condescended to hand in your census list ? " 

" Why, a long while, or rather, I don't recollect." 

" So that many of your serfs have died since ? " 

"I cannot say. I suppose it will be necessary to ask the 
overseer about that. Hey, there, you fellow ! Call the over- 
seer ; he should be here to-day." 

The overseer made his appearance. He was a man of about 
forty, who shaved his beard, wore a surtout, and apparently 
led a very tranquil life, for there was a certain look of puffy 
fulness in his face and a yellowish hue about his skin ; more- 
over, his small, sleepy eyes showed that he knew very well 
indeed what down-pillows and feather-beds were. 

"Listen, my good fellow," said Maniloff. "How many of 
our serfs have died since the census was taken ? " 

"Yes, well — how many? Why, many have died since 
then," said the overseer ; and thereupon he gave a yawn, cover- 
ing his mouth slightly with his hand as with a shield. 

"Yes; I will confess that I thought so myself," interposed 
Maniloff; " that's it, a good many have died." Here he turned 
to Tchitchikoff and added, " Exactly so, a great many." 

" And what might the number be, for instance ? " asked 
Tchitchikoff. 

" Yes, what number ? " interposed Maniloff. 

" Well, I might say, what is the number ? " rejoined the 
overseer. "Why, really I don't know how many have died; 
nobody has counted them." 

" Yes, exactly," said Maniloff, turning to Tchitchikoff. " I 
also supposed that the mortality had been large ; but I don't 
know in the least how many have died." 

"Please to count them," said Tchitchikoff, "and make a 
minute register of them by name." 

"Yes, all byname," said Maniloff, whereupon the overseer 
rejoined, "Yes, sir," and departed. 

" And why do you want this done ? " inquired Maniloff when 
the overseer was gone. 

This question seemed to embarrass his guest ; a certain 



THE MANILOFF FAMILY. 33 

strained look appeared on his face and even caused it to redden 
as he made an effort to express himself. Then Maniloff heard 
such strange and remarkable things as human ear had never 
before listened to. 

" You ask the reason ? Well, this is the reason ; I should 
like to purchase some serfs," began Tchitchikoff, but then he 
stammered and did not finish his sentence. 

" But allow me to ask you," said Maniloff, " how you desire 
to purchase these serfs — with the land, or simply for removal 
elsewhere; that is to say, without land ? " 

"Well, I don't exactly mean serfs," said Tchitchikoff, "I 
want dead ones." 

"What? Excuse me, I am a little hard of hearing ; I 
thought I heard a very singular word." 

" My desire is to obtain dead serfs, who are, however, indi- 
cated as alive in the census list," said Tchitchikoff. 

Maniloff instantly dropped his tchibouk on the floor, and, 
opening his mouth, remained gaping for several minutes. These 
two friends who had discoursed so sweetly on the charms of a 
life of friendship, remained motionless, with their eyes fixed on 
each other like those portraits which were hung in olden times 
opposite one another. At length Maniloff" picked up his tchi- 
bouk and gazed into Tchitchikoff 's face, endeavouring to see 
whether there was any sign of a smile upon his lips, in fact, 
whether he was jesting ; but nothing of the sort was perceptible ; 
on the contrary, his face seemed even graver than usual. Then 
Maniloft' wondered whether his guest had not unconsciously 
lost his mind, and he gazed intently at him in terror: but our 
hero's eyes were perfectly clear ; there was no wild, restless 
fire in them, such as leaps from the eyes of a madman ; all was 
quiet in his demeanour and as it should be. Think as he would 
as to what he ought to do or say, Maniloff' could not devise 
any other course than to emit the smoke which had remained 
in his mouth. 

" Yes, I should like to know," resumed Tchitchikoff, 
" whether you can let me have any such persons, not alive in 
reality, but alive so far as legal forms are concerned. Make 
them over to me, or manage it in any way you think best." 

However, Maniloff became so confused and troubled that al 
he could do was to stare at him. 

"It seems to me that you see some difficulties ? " observed 
Tchitchikoff'. 

" I ? no, not that," said Maniloff, " but I cannot conceive — 
excuse me — in fact, I was not able to obtain so brilliant an 

C 



34 DEAD SOULS. 

education as is visible, so to speak, in your every movement. I 
do not possess the lofty art of expressing myself, and possibly, 
iu the statement w^hich you have just made, something else 
is concealed — possibly you were pleased to express yourself in 
that way for the sake of beauty of style ?" 

" No," responded Tchitchikoff, " no : I meant just what I said ; 
that is to say, souls (serfs) which are actually already dead." 

ManilofF was completely bewildered. He felt that he must do 
something, ask some question, but what question — the deuce 
only knew. He at last ended by emitting some more smoke, 
not from his mouth, however, but through his nostrils. 

" So, if there is no obstacle, you might set about preparing a 
deed of sale," said Tchitchikoff. 

" What ! a deed of the sale of some dead souls ? " 

"Well, no!" said Tchitchikoff. "We will write that they 
are alive, just as it stands recorded on the census list. I 
am not accustomed to depart in any way from the laws ; I 
suffered for that reason in the service — but excuse me : duty is 
a sacred thing for me ; the law — well, I am dumb in the pre- 
sence of the law." 

These last words pleased Maniloff. Still he had not penetrated 
his guest's real meaning ; and, instead of replying, he began to 
suck away so powerfully at his tchibouk, that it soon groaned 
like a bassoon. It seemed as though he were trying to extract 
from it some opinion with regard to so strange a matter ; how- 
ever, the tchibouk groaned, and that was all. 

" Perhaps you entertain some doubts ? " urged Tchitchikoff. 

" Oh, excuse me, none whatever! But permit me to ask, 
will not this enterprise, or to express the matter more plainly, 
as it were, this negotiation, — will not this negotiation be incom- 
patible with the official regulations ? " 

Here Maniloff made several motions with his head, and looked 
very significantly in Tchitchikoff''s face ; his countenance having 
an expression of such deep meaning as was, possibly, never 
seen upon a human face, except, perhaps, on that of some very 
wise minister, at the moment of a most head-splitting trans- 
action. 

However, Tchitchikoff simply said that such an enterprise, or 
negotiation, would in no way be inconsistent with the laws ; 
and he added a moment later, that the treasury would even 
obtain some profit from it, for it would receive the legal taxes. . 

" You think so ? " 

" Yes, I think that it will be a good thing." 

** Ah ! if it is a good thing, that is another matter : I have no 



THE MANILOFF FAMILY. 35 

objection to it then," said Maniloff, and he became perfectly re- 
assured. 

" It now remains for us to agree about a price." 

" What price ? " said Maniloft' again ; and he paused. " Do 
you suppose that I am going to take your money for souls who 
have, in a certain way, terminated their existence ? If such a 
fantastic idea has occurred to you, you are mistaken. I will give 
you these souls gratuitously, and take the deed of sale upon 
myself." 

We must not omit to say that Tchitchikoff expressed great 
satisfaction upon hearing these words spoken by Maniloff, 
Albeit usually grave and judicious, he came near executing a 
leap like a goat, which, as it is well known, men only execute in 
the most powerful outbursts of joy. He turned so vigorously in 
his chair, that he split the material with which it was covered. 
Maniloff stared at him in some amazement. Moved by grati- 
tude, our hero expressed so much recognition, that his host 
became confused, turned red all over, made a negative gesture 
with his head, and finally expressed himself to the effect that it 
was really "nothing"; that he merely wanted to show his 
heartfelt affection in some way, for he was a believer in the 
affinity of souls ; however to his mind the dead ones were in 
some respects perfect rubbish. 

" They are not rubbish at all," replied Tchitchikoff, pressing 
his companion's hand and heaving a deep sigh. He seemed to 
be ready for a sentimental outburst, and it was not without 
feeling and expression that he at length uttered the following 
words : "If you only knew what a service you have rendered 
me by this, which seems to you mere rubbish ; and yet I am a 
man without kindred or connections 1 Yes ; and, in fact, what 
have I not endured '? I am like a bark amid fierce billows. 
Ah ! what oppression, what persecution, have I not undergone, 
what bitterness have I not tasted, and for what ? Because I 
held to the Right, because I had a pure conscience, because 
I lent a helping hand to a helpless widow and wretched 
orphans — " 

At this point Tchitchikoff oven wiped away his tears with his 
handkerchief. Maniloff was thoroughly moved. The two 
friends pressed each other's hands for a long time, and gazed 
long and silently into each other's eyes, in which the tears 
were visible. Maniloft" would, on no account, release the hand 
of our hero, but continued to press it so warmly that his com- 
panion did not know how to free it. At last, drawing it gently 
away, he said that it would not be a bad thing to complete the 



36 DEAD SOULS* 

deed of sale as promptly as possible, and that it would be as Well 
if Maniloff would visit him in town ; finally he grasped his hat, 
and began to take leave. 

" What ! are you going ? " asked Maniloff, suddenly recover- 
ing himself, and almost in affright. 

At that moment Mrs. Manilova entered the study. 

" Lisanka," said Maniloff, with a rather sorry countenance, 
•' Pavel Ivanovitch is leaving us." 

" Then, we have bored Pavel Ivanovitch," replied Mrs. 
Manilova. 

" Madam ! here," exclaimed Tchitchlkoff, " here, just here," 
— and he laid his hand upon his heart, — " yes, here, will ever 
linger the charming hours spent with you; and believe me, 
there could not be for me any greater bliss than to live with 
you, if not in the same house, at least in the immediate 
neighbourhood." 

" But, do you know, Pavel Ivanovitch," said Maniloff, who 
was greatly pleased by such an idea, " it would in fact be grand 
for us to live here together under one roof, or beneath the shade 
of some elm-tree, to philosophise over something, to penetrate 
the depths — " 

" Oh, that would be a heavenly life ! " interrupted Tchitchi- 
koff, with a sigh. " Farewell, madame ! " he continued, kiss- 
ing Mrs. Manilova's hand. "Farewell, my most respected 
friend ! Do not forget my request ! " 

" Oh ! you may be easy on that score," replied Maniloff". " I 
shall see you in town in a couple of days at the latest." 

They all then went into the dining-room. 

" Good-by, my dear little boys ! " said Tchitchlkoff, catching 
sight of Alcides and Themistoclus, who were busying themselves 
over a wooden hussar who had neither any arms nor any nose. 
*' good-by, my dear little ones. You will excuse me for not 
having brought you a present, but I must confess that I did not 
even know of your existence ; however, when I come again, I 
shall certainly bring one. I will bring you a sword : would you 
like a sword ? " 

"Yes," answered Themistoclus. 

" And a drum for you. It shall be a drum, shall it not ? " he 
proceeded, bending down to Alcides. 

" Yes, a dwum," whispered Alcides, and he dropped his head. 

" Very well, I will bring you a drum, such a fine drum ! 
it will be all turrr-ru-tra, ta ta, ta ta ta. Good-by, you 
darling, good-by ! " Here he kissed Alcides on the head, and 
turned to Maniloff and his wife vdth the little laugh with which 



THE MANILOFF FAMILY. 37 

one generally does turn to parents, giving them to understand 
what dear little things their children arc. 

*' Really, you had better stay, Pavel Ivanoviteh," said Mani- 
lofl', when they were all gathered on the verandah. " Look at 
the clouds." 

" They are very small, replied Tchitchikoff." 

" Do you know the road to Sobakevitch's '? " 

" Oh ! I wanted to ask you about that." 

" Well, if you will allow me, I will tell your coachman at 
once." Here Maniloff, with the same afi'ability, gave the coach- 
man his instructions, even addressing him once by the pronoun 
" you ''—in lieu of the " thou " usual in speaking to inferiors. 

The coachman, on hearing that he must pass by two turnings, 
and take the third one, said, " We shall hit it, your excellency ; " 
and Tchitchikoff drove off, accompanied by the bows and waving 
kerchiefs of his hosts, who stood Avatching him on tiptoe. 

Maniloff, indeed, stood for a long time on the veranda, follow- 
ing the retreating britchka with his eyes ; and even when it had 
become invisible, he still stood there, smoking his pipe. At last 
he entered the room, seated himself on a chair, and gave himself 
up to meditation, heartily rejoicing that he had done his visitor 
a trifling service. Then his thoughts turned imperceptibly to 
other subjects, and finally they wandered away, God knows 
where. He thought of the bliss of a life of friendship ; of how 
delightful it would be to dwell with his friend on the banks of 
some river ; and so on ; but suddenly Tchitchikoff's strange re- 
quest disturbed all his dreams. The thought of it seemed to 
seethe strangely in his brain ; turn it over as he would, he could 
not explain it to himself; and thus he sat smoking his pipe, and 
pondering all through the afternoon and evening until supper- 
time. 



CHAPTER III. 

MADAME KOROBOTCHKINA. 



Meanwhile Tchitchikoff, in a very well-satisfied frame of mind, 
sat in his britchka, which had long been rolling along the high- 
way. From the preceding chapter, one can gather what consti- 
tuted the chief subject of his thoughts ; and therefore it is no 
wonder that he was speedily absorbed in it, body and soul. That 



38 DEAD SOULS. 

the conjectures, calculations, and fancies which strayed through 
his mind were extremely agreeable, was evident from his face ; 
for at each moment it expanded into a contented smile. He was 
so engrossed with his thoughts that it required a loud clap of 
thunder to bring him to himself, and induce him to look about 
him : the whole sky was now completely covered with clouds, and 
the dusty post-road was sprinkled with drops of rain. At length 
a second clap of thunder resounded, both louder and nearer than 
the first one, and the rain suddenly poured down as though from 
a pail. At first it came in a slanting direction, and beat upon one 
side of the britchka, then on the other ; next altering its course, 
and becoming almost perpendicular, it drummed right upon 
the top of the carriage, and began to fall on our hero's head. 
This made him pull down some leathern curtains, which had two 
small round windows, adapted for the contemplation of views 
upon the road, and at the same time he ordered Selifan to drive 
faster. 

The coachman drew from beneath his box some trumpery 
garment of gray cloth, put it on, grasped the reins firmly, and 
shouted at his troika,'^- which were hardly moving their legs. 
However, Selifan could not at first remember whether he had 
passed two or three turnings. He decided, after due reflec- 
tion, that there had been a great many, all of which he had 
passed. As a Russian soon discovers what to do in critical 
moments, he turned into the first cross-road he next came to, on 
the right, shouted, *' Hey, there, my respected friends ! " to the 
horses, and set off at a gallop, without much concern as to where 
the cross-road would lead him. 

The rain, however, seemed likely to last for a longtime. The 
dust of the road was quickly converted into mud, and every 
moment it became more diflftcult for the horses to drag the 
britchka along. Tchitchikoff had already begun to grow seriously 
disquieted at not seeing Sobakevitch's village. According to his 
calculations, they ought to have reached it long ago. He peered 
out on all sides, but it was now pitch dark. 

" Selifan ! " he said at last, leaning out of the britchka. 

" What is it, master ? " replied Selifan. 

" Look and see if there is a village visible." 

" No, master, there isn't one visible anywhere." And there- 
upon Selifan, with a flourish of his whip, began, not exactly a 
song, but something which had no end. Everything entered into 
it, — all the cries of approbation and encouragement to which 

* A team of three horses. 



MADAME KOROBOTCHKINA. 39 

horses are treated throughout Russia, from one end of the land 
to the other ; adjectives of every description without discrimina- 
tion — in fact, the first that came to his tongue. And so it went 
on until, at last, he began to call the poor animals secretaries. 

Meanwhile Tchitchikoff noticed that the britchka was swaying 
about in all directions, and that he was being badly jolted. This 
warned him that they had got out of the road, and Avere 
probably careering through a ploughed field. Selifan seemed 
to have perceived it himself, but he said not a word. 

"Here, you rascal, what road are you driving on?" cried 
Tchitchikoff. 

" But what's to be done, master, in such weather ? you can't 
see your whip before you, it's so dark! " Thus speaking the 
coachman tipped the britchka, so that Tchitchikoff was obliged 
to hold on with both hands. It was only then that he per- 
ceived that Selifan had been drinking. 

'• Hold on, hold on ! you'll upset us ! " he shouted to him. 

"No, master; how could I upset you?" said Selifan. "It 
isn't good to upset, — I know that myself already : I sha'n't upset 
at all." Thereupon he began to turn the britchka slightly, tip, 
tip, until finally he rolled it over on one side. Tchitchikoft' fell 
full length into the mud. However, Selifan stopped the horses, 
who would, indeed, have stopped of themselves, for they 
were greatly fatigued. This unforeseen catastrophe completely 
amazed the driver. Extricating himself from his box, he 
planted himself in front of the britchka, set both arms akimbo 
on his hips, and while his master was floundering about in the 
mud, and endeavouring to crawl out of it, he said after some 
reflection, " Well ; so it has tipped over ! '' 

"You're as drunk as a cobbler," retorted Tchitchikoff. 

" No, master, no. Besides, how is it possible for me to be 
drunk ? I know that it is not a good thing to drink. I had 
a chat with a friend ; for one may chat with a good fellow, and 
there's nothing wrong in that ; and we also had something to 
eat together. A snack (zaMska) is not a disgraceful thing : a 
fellow may fairly take a bite Avith a nice companion." 

" What did I tell you the last time that you were intoxicated, 
eh? have you forgotten ? " asked Tchitchikoft'. 

" No, your blcuiorddiue* how could I have forgotten ? I know 
my business. I know that it is not right to get drunk. But I 
had a chat with a fine man, for " 

* AVellbom, equivalent to the German " wohlgetoren." There is no 
exact equivalent in English, 



40 DEAD SOULS. 

" I'll thrash you ! I'll teach you to chat with a fine man ! " 
^,J^~As your clemency pleases," replied Selifan, in complete 
(^acquiescence: "if you must thrash me, then thrash away. I 
have no objection to that. And why not beat me, if there is 
cause for it ? That is according to the master's will. It is 
necessary for him to beat, for the moujik often becomes un- 
governable : he must be well looked after. If there is cause 
for it, then beat away: why not? " 

To this reasoning the master found no answer whatever. But 
at that moment it seemed as though fate had resolved to be 
merciful to them. The barking of a dog resounded in the dis- 
tance, and Tchitchikoff, in delight, ordered the horses to be 
whipped up. The Russian driver possesses a fine sense of hearing 
in lieu of eyes ; hence it happens that although he sometimes 
drives along at full speed, with his eyes screwed up, he always 
comes out somewhere. Selifan, without being able to see his 
hand before him, drove so directly to the village that he only 
drew up when the britchka stopped short with its shaft against 
a fence, and when it could actually go no farther. Through the 
thick veil of pouring rain, Tchitchikofi" could merely perceive 
something resembling a roof. He despatched Selifan to find a 
gate ; and this would have required a long time, no doubt, if in 
Russia people did not keep ill-tempered dogs in lieu of door- 
keepers ; and a dog, indeed, now loudly announced the britchka's 
arrival. A light twinkled through one small window, and 
reached the fence, revealing the gate to our travellers. Selifan 
began to knock : and soon a person draped in an arniyak'' 
opened the wicket, whereupon the master and man heard a 
hoarse, feminine voice asking, " Who knocks ? what has 
happened ? " 

" We are travellers, my good woman : let us in to pass the 
night," said Tchitchikoff 

" You're lively travellers ! " rejoined the old woman : "nice 
weather you have come in ! This isn't a post-house : a land- 
owner lives here." 

" But what is to be done, my good woman ? We have lost 
our way. We cannot pass the night on the steppe, in such 
weather as this." 

" Yes : it is dark, and the weather is bad," added SeKfai. 

" Hold your tongue, you blockhead ! " said Tchitchikoflf. 

" Who are you ? " asked the old woman. 

*' A nobleman, mj'^ good woman." 

* A long, full garment, worn by peasants. 



MADAME KOROBOTCHKINA. 41 

The word " nobleman " seemed to give the old woman matter 
for thought. " Wait ! I'll tell the mistress," she ejaculated. 

In a couple of minutes she returned with a lantern in her 
hand. The gate opened. A faint light flashed from another 
window. The britchka entered the yard, and came to a stand- 
still in front of a small house, of which it was difficult to get a 
good view through the darkness. Only one half of it was illu- 
minated by the light which shone through the window falling 
upon a puddle just in front of the building. The rain resounded 
noisily as it poured on to the wooden roof, whence it ran in a mur- 
muring stream into the water-butt. Meanwhile the dogs had 
burst out barking in every possible key and style ; one, throwing 
back his head, gave a prolonged howl, with as much care as though 
he had received wages for it ; another followed suit post-haste. 
Then there rang out, like a post-bell, an inharmonious soprano, no 
doubt belonging to a young dog ; and, finally, all ended with the 
growls of an old animal, whose notes reminded one of a contra- 
basso in a church choir, when the concerto is in full swing. 

However, our drenched and shivering hero thought only of 
bed. The britchka had not come to a full stop, when he leapt 
out upon the threshold, tottered, and came near falling. A woman, 
younger than the first one, but strongly resembling her, then 
emerged from under the porch and conducted him into a room. 
Tchitchikoff cast a couple of fleeting glances about him : the 
room was hung with antique, striped paper ; the pictures repre- 
sented various birds ; between the windows hung some little old 
mirrors, with dim frames in the form of twisted leaves, and 
behind each mirror was tucked either a letter or a pack of cards, 
or else a stocking. There was also a wall-clock, with flowers 
painted on the dial-plate ; but nothing else could be discerned. 
Tchitchikofi" felt that his eyes were sticking together, as though 
some one had smeared them over with honey. However, a 
moment later the mistress of the house entered, a woman ad- 
vanced in years, in some sort of a nightcap hastily donned, and 
with a flannel Avrapper round her neck. Evidently one of those 
women who own a small landed property, and cry over bad 
crops and losses, who hold their heads on one side, and accumu- 
late money in motley little bags, stowed away in their chests of 
drawers. In one bag they Avill put all their silver roubles ; in 
another, their half-roubles ; in a third, their twenty-five copeck 
pieces, — although, to all appearance, there is nothing in the 
drawers but linen, night-dresses, skeins of thread, and a cloak 
which has been ripped up with the intention of converting it 
into a gown ; or, if it be old, it has been burnt in cooking holiday 



42 DEAD SOULS. 

pancakes, or has simply worn out of its own accord. However, 
the old woman is economical, and this cloak is destined to lie 
there for many years, and will descend by will to her grand- 
niece, together with all sorts of other ancient fripperies. 

Tchitchikoff presented his apologies for having disturbed the 
inmates of the house by his unexpected arrival. "No matter, 
no matter," said his hostess. " In such weather, it was God 
who brought you here. Such a tumult and storm ! You ought 
to have something to eat after your journey ; but it is very late 
at night, and it is impossible to prepare anything." 

The lady's words were interrupted by a dreadful hissing, which 
alarmed our friend ; the noise was such, indeed, that the whole 
room seemed to be full of snakes : but on glancing up, he felt 
re-assured, for he perceived that the wall-clock had taken a fancy 
to strike. The hissing was immediately followed by a hoarse 
rattle ; and finally, collecting all its powers, the clock struck 
two with a sound as though some one were drumming on a broken 
crock with a stick, after which the pendulum went on ticking 
quietly from right to left. 

Tchitchikoff thanked his hostess, saying that he needed nothing, 
that she must not trouble herself about anything, that he only 
desired a bed, though he would like to know where he Avas, 
and whether the house was far from Sobakevitch's estate. To 
which the old woman replied that she had never even heard of 
such a name, and believed that there was no such gentleman 
at all. 

" But at least, you know Maniloff ? " said Tchitchikoff. 

" And who is Maniloff? " 

" A landowner, my good woman." 

" No, I have never heard of him : there is no such landowner 
hereabouts. 

" What landowners are there then ? " 

"Bobroff, Svinin, Kanapatieff, Kharpakin, Trepakin, Plye- 
shakoff." 

" Are they rich men ? " 

" No, father, not very rich. One of them owns twenty souls 
(serfs), another thirty ; but there isn't one who owns a hun- 
dred." 

Tchitchikoff perceived that he had arrived in a regular wilder- 
ness. " Tell me, at least, is it far to the town ? " 

" About sixty versts. How sorry I am that I have nothing to 
offer you to eat ! But will you drink some tea, friend ? " 

" Thank you, my good woman. I only want a bed." 

"In truth, rest is necessary after such a journey. Place 



MADAME KOROBOTCHKITS^A. 43 

yourself here, my friend, on this divan. Hey, there, Fetinya, 
fetch a feather-bed, some pillows, and a coverlet. What weather 
God has sent us ! such thunder ! My light has been burning 
all night before the holy pictures. Why! my father, your back ^^ 
and your side are all muddy, like a boar's ! Where did you get q 

60 dirty? " H 

" Glory be to God, that I only soiled my clothes ! I must ^ 

return thanks for not having broken my ribs." U 

" Ye saints, how dreadful ! Don't you want something to ~ 

wipe your coat ? " '5^*^ b 

*' Thank you, thank you. Don't trouble yourself, but please 
give your maid orders to dry my clothes." 

" Do you hear, Fetinya ? " said the lady, turning to the 
same woman, who had come out to the porch with a light. She 
had already succeeded in dragging in a feather-bed, and, after 
beating it up on both sides with her hands, she had sent a flood 
of feathers flying about the room. " Take the gentleman's caf- 
tan and his other clothes," resumed the lady, "first dry them 
before the fire, as you used to do for your dead master, and 
then brush and beat them thoroughly." 

" I hear, sudariiuja I " * said Fetinya, as she spread a sheet 
over the feather-bed and placed the pillows. 

"Well, now your bed is ready," said the lady. "Farewell, 
my friend : I wish you a good-night. Do you need anything 
more ? Perhaps, father, you are accustomed to have someone 
to tickle your heels at night. My late husband could never get 
to sleep without it." 

But the guest declined to have his heels' tickled. The lady 
took her departure ; and Tchitchikofi' immediately undressed, 
giving every thing to Fetinya, who, after wishing him good- 
night in her turn, carried all the wet garments awa5\ When he 
was left alone he glanced, not without satisfaction, at his couch, 
which reached almost to the ceiling. Fetinya was evidently 
an adept in the art of beating up a feather-bed. Then with the 
aid of a chair, he climbed into the bed, which so gave way 
beneath him that he sank almost to the floor, while the feathers 
which he pressed out at the seams flew all over the room. He 
blew out the candle, drew the calico coverlet over him, and at 
once fell asleep. 

It was already quite late in the morning when he awoke on 
the following day. The sun was shining through the shutters 
straight into his eyes, and the flies were buzzing about. Cast- 

♦ Madam. The ordinary answer, corresponding to " Yes, madam." 



44 DEAD SOULS. 

ing a glance round the room he perceived that birds did not 
form the subjects of all the pictures : among them hung a por- 
trait of Kutusoff, and an oil-painting of an old man in a uniform 
such as was worn under Pavel Petrovitch. The clock again hissed, 
and then struck ten : a feminine face peeped in at the door, and 
immediately disappeared again ; for TchitchikofF, during his 
sleep, had thrown off all the bedclothes. The face which had 
peeped in seemed familiar to him in some way. He endea- 
voured to recall who it belonged to, and finally remembered that 
it was the countenance of his hostess. He put on his shirt : 
his garments, all dried and brushed, lay beside him. When he 
was dressed he approached the window, and began to survey 
the view before him. The window overlooked a narrow yard 
which was filled with domestic fowl of every kind. The turkeys . 
and hens were innumerable ; among them stalked a cock with 
measured steps, shaking his comb, and turning his head on one 
side, as though he were listening to something. A sow and her 
litter were also there, poking their snouts into a heap of rub- 
bish. The sow devoured a little chicken by the waj^ and then 
quietly continued to eat some water-melon rind. This small 
court, or chicken-yard, was surrounded by a fence, beyond which 
spread some broad vegetable gardens filled with onions, cab- 
bages, potatoes, beet-roots, and other vegetables. There was 
also an orchard with apple and other fruit-trees, covered with 
nets, so as to protect them from magpies and sparrows : the 
latter were flitting in large parties from place to place. Several 
scarecrows with arms outstretched were elevated on long poles, 
and one of them wore the lady's own cap. Beyond the vege- 
table garden came some peasants' huts, which, although they 
were built at irregular intervals, and not arranged in street 
fashion, indicated that there were a number of inhabitants in the 
place. Tchitchikoff noted that they were all kept in repair as 
they should be : the worn-out boarding on the roofs had been 
replaced by new planks ; none of the gates hung awry ; more- 
over, in certain sheds turned towards him he observed some 
carts which were almost new. "Yes, her village is of a fair 
size," he said to himself, and he immediately resolved to become 
more closely acquainted with the lady. He glanced at the door- 
way through which she had popped her head, and, catching 
sight of her seated behind the tea-table, he went up to her with 
a cheerful engaging mien. 

" Good-morning, my friend. How did you sleep ? " said his 
hostess, rising from her place. She was better dressed than on 
the preceding evening, wearing a dark gown, and no longer 



MADAME KOROBOTCHKINA. 45 

Sporting a nightcap ; however, a wrapper was still wound about 
her throat. 

" Well, very well," said Tchitchikoff, seating himself in an 
arm-chair. " And how did you sleep, my friend ? " 

" Badly, my friend." 

"How so?" 

•' Sleeplessness. My hips ache, and my legs seem as if they 
would break just above my ankles." 

"It will pass oft', it will pass off, my dear woman. You 
mustn't pay any attention to it." 

" God grant that it will pass oft'! I have rubbed myself with 
lard, and with turpentine also. But what will you take with 
your tea ? There is some fruit-brandy in that flask." 

" That's not bad, my dear woman — not bad at all. I will 
take some fruit-brandy." 

Tchitchikofi' had made up his mind not to stand on ceremony 
with this person, so taking his cup of tea in one hand, and 
pouring some fruit-brandy into it with the other, he resumed as 
follows : — 

"You have a nice little village, my dear woman. How many 
souls are there ?" 

"Nearly eighty, my friend," said his hostess: "but un- 
fortunately the times are bad ; last year the crops were 
frightful ! May the Lord preserve us from anything of the kind 
again." 

" But there are some stout-looking moujiks here, and the 
izbas are sound. Permit me to ask your family name. 1 was 
BO upset — I arrived so late at night that " 

" My name is Korobotchka. I am the widow of a collegiate 
secretary." 

" I thank you humbly. And your other name ? " 

" Nastasya Petrovna." 

" Nastasya Petrovna ? That's a fine name, Nastasya Petrovna. 
I have an aunt, my mother's sister, who is named Nastasya 
Petrovna." 

"And what is your name ?" inquired the lady. " I think 
you must certainly be an assessor." 

" No, my dear woman," replied Tchitchikoff", laughing, " I 
certainly am not an assessor : I am travelling on my own 
business." 

" Ah ! so you are a wholesale merchant. It really is a pity 
that I sold my honey to the dealers so cheap ! You would 
probably have bought it of me, father." 

" No, I should not have bought honey." 



46 DEAD SOULS. 

" What then ? Hemp, perhaps ? But very little hemp is 
spun in my house now, — half a pood* at most." 

** No, Tuy dear woman, I am thinking of a different sort of 
goods : tell me, have any of your peasants died ? " 

" Ah, yes, my friend, eighteen of them ! " said the old woman 
with a sigh. "And they were such splendid fellows, all work- 
men. Some have been born since, it is true ; but what of that ? 
They are all small fry. And then the assessor comes : ' Pay for 
your souls,' says he. The people are dead, but until the next 
census you must still pay taxes on them as though they were 
living. And last week my smith was burnt to death, — such a 
clever smith he was ! and he knew the locksmith's business too." 

" Have you had a fire here ? " 

" Oh, no ! God preserve us from such a misfortune ! he burnt 
himself up, my father. His inside got on fire in some way or other 
— through drinking too much. Blue flames came out of him, 
and he rotted and rotted away until he turned as black as coal. 
And he was such a skilful smith ! At present I cannot drive 
out : there is no one to shoe the horses." 

"All is according to the will of God, my dear woman," said 
Tchitchikoff, sighing. " Nothing can be said against the wisdom 
of God, Will you give them to me, Nastasya Petrovna ? " 

" Give you what, my friend ? " 

" Why, all the souls that have died." 

" But how can I give them away ? " 

" It is simple enough. Or, if you prefer it, you can sell them. 
I will give you money for them." 

" But how ? I really don't catch your idea. You don't want 
to dig them up out of the ground, do you ? " 

Tchitchikofi' perceived that the old woman was far from appre- 
hending his meaning, and that it was indispensable for him to 
speak to her more plainly. So he explained to her in a few 
words that the transfer, or purchase, would have no significance 
except on paper, and that the dead souls would be inscribed as 
though they were living. 

" But of what use can they be to you ? " said the old woman, 
staring at him. 

" That is my affair." 

" But they are dead." 

" Who says they are alive ? My buying them is an advan- 
tage to you, since they are dead. You still have to pay for 
them, but I will release you from that trouble and taxation. Do 

* Twenty pounds* weight. 



MADAME K.OROBOTCHKINA. 47 

you understand ? And I will not only free you from that, but I 
will give you fifteen roubles to boot. Now is it clear ? " 

" Really, I don't know," exclaimed the lady, pausing. " I 
have never sold any dead people before." 

" The idea ! It would be far more wonderful if you ever had 
sold any to any one. Or is it that you think they could be 
turned to profit ? " 

" No, I do not think that. What profit could be derived from 
them ? The only thing that troubles me is, that they are dead." 

"Well, she's a hard-headed person," said Tchitchikoff to 
himself. " Listen, my good woman ! Just think it over well : 
liere you are raining yourself with paying taxes on them as if 
they were living." 

" Oh, my friend, don't speak of it!" interrupted the lady. 
" Only two weeks ago I paid a hundred and fifty roubles, be- 
sides making a present, to the assessor." 

" Well, you see how it is, my dear woman ? Now, only take 
into consideration the fact that you won't have to give any more 
presents, for now I shall pay for the dead serfs, — I, and not 
you : I assume all responsibilities. I will even have the deed 
prepared at my expense, — do yeu understand me ?" 

The old woman became thoughtful. She saw that the transac- 
tion really seemed to be a profitable one for herself, but it was 
too novel and untried; and so she began to feel very much 
afraid lest our friend should cheat her in this sale. He was a 
suspicious character, for he had arrived, God knows whence, 
and at night time too. 

" Well, my dear woman, shall we strike the bargain ? " asked 
Tchitchikofi". 

" Really, my friend, I never sold any dead people before. I 
sold some live ones two years ago, — two girls to the protopopo 
for a hundred roubles each ; and he was very glad and grate- 
ful : they turned out splendid workers : they even weave 
napkins." 

" Well, but the question isn't one of living serfs, — God be 
with them ! — I ask for dead ones." 

" Really, I am afraid lest it should occasion me a loss in some 
way. Perhaps you are deceiving me, my father ; perhaps they 
— they are worth more." 

"Listen, my good woman — what a woman you are! How 
can they be worth anything ? They are dust. Do you under- 
stand ? Simply dust. Take any useless, trivial thing, for 
example, even a simple rag, — and the rag has a value ; it 
can at least be sold for a paper-mill : but those dead serfs are 



48 DEAD SOULS. 

good for nothing. Now, tell me yourself, what are they good 
for?" 

" That is quite true. They are good for nothing at all, and 
only one thing deters me, that they are dead." 

"Eh! what a blockhead she is ! " said Tchitchikoff to him- 
self, beginning to lose his patience. " Come, I must settle it 
with her! She has thrown me into a perspiration, the con- 
founded old fool!" Here he drew a handkerchief from his 
pocket, wiped away the perspiration which had started out on 
his brow, and resolved to attack the old lady in a different style. 
" My dear woman," said he, " you either do not wish to under- 
stand my words, or else you say all that for the mere sake of 
saying something. I will give you money — fifteen roubles in 
bank-notes — do you understand ? Money. You cannot pick 
money up in the street. Now, tell me how much did you sell 
your honey for?" 

"For twelve roubles a pood." 

" You are surely exaggerating a little, my good woman. You 
did not sell it for twelve ? " 

" By Heavens, I did." 

" Now, come. So much as that — for honey ? You had been 
collecting it for a year, perhaps, with a deal of care and labour ; 
you worried about your bees and their comfort, and kept them 
all winter in the cellar ; but the dead souls I speak of are not a 
matter of this world. In their case you have not been put to 
trouble and toil. It was God's will that they should quit this 
world, thereby diminishing your property. As regards the 
honey, you received twelve roubles for your labour and exer- 
tions ; but as regards the souls you will obtain fifteen roubles 
gratuitously, so to say ; and not in silver, but in blue bank- 
notes." After these powerful arguments, Tchitchikoff" hardly 
entertained a doubt but what the old woman would surrender. 

"Indeed!" she replied. "I am a widow, and so inex- 
perienced in business ! It will be better for me to wait a little 
while : perhaps some merchants may come, and I can find out 
about the prices." 

" It's a shame to talk like that, my dear woman ! it's simply a 
shame ! Now, just consider what you are saying ! Who will buy 
those dead serfs ? Come, what use can be made of them ? " 

"Perhaps they may be needed some day on the estate," 
rejoined the old woman; and without concluding her speech, 
she opened her mouth, and stared at Tchitchikoff" almost in 
terror, desirous of knowing what he would reply. 

" Dead men, indeed, about the estate ! " he exclaimed. " Eh I 



MADAME KOROBOTCHKINA. 49 

where did you get that idea ? They might be used as scare- 
crows in your kitchen-garden to frighten away the sparrows. 
That's what you mean, I suppose, eh ?" 

"May the powers of the cross be with us! what terrible 
things you say !" began the old woman, crossing herself. 

" What else would you set them doing ? And, moreover, the 
bones and the graves will all remain with you : the transfer will 
only be on paper. Now, what do you say to that ? How is it 
to be '? Give me an answer, at any rate ! " 

The old woman began to reflect again. 

" What are you thinking of, Nastasya Petrovna ?" 

"In truth, I cannot decide what to do : it will be better for 
me to sell you my hemp." 

" But what should I do with your hemp ? I am talking to you 
of something entirely different, if you please ; and yet you thrust 
your hemp on me ! Hemp is hemp, and when I come again, I 
may take it. But not now. So, how is it to be, Nastasya 
Petrovna ? ' ' 

" By Heavens ! dead souls are such strange wares, — I never 
heard the like before." 

Here Tchitchikoff exceeded all the bounds of patience, dashed 
a chair on to the floor, and consigned the lady to the fiend. 

She was extremely frightened. "Ah! don't mention him. 
God be with him ! " she exclaimed, turning very pale. " Only 
two days ago, I dreamed of the Evil One all night. I had a 
fancy to tell my fortune with cards, after saying my prayers, 
and God evidently sent him as a punishment. I saw him in 
such terrible guise ; his horns were longer than a bull's." 

"I am surprised that you don't dream of fiends by the 
dozen," said our friend. "I made my proposition from motives 
of Christian philanthropy alone : I see a poor widow struggling 
along, suffering from want. — Well, go to destruction then, and 
perish with your whole village ! " 

" Ah ! dear me — why do you try to quan-el ? " said the old 
woman, looking at him in terror. 

" There's no use in saying a word to you. Truly, now, you 
are exactly like the house-dog, who lies in the hay, and neither 
eats the hay himself nor permits anyone else to eat it. I should 
have liked to purchase various domestic products from you, 
for I sometimes take government contracts also." 

Here he lied, merely in passing, and without any ultimate ob- 
ject, but with most unexpected success. The government con- 
tracts acted powerfully on Nastasya Petrovna: at all events, 
she said in an almost beseeching voice, " Why has your anger 

D 



60 DEAD SOULS. 

become so hot ? If I had known, to begin with, that you were 
such a testy man, I should not have contradicted you at all." 

'* As if there were no cause for anger! The matter may not 
be worth an egg, and yet I am angry about it ! " 

" Well, as you please : I am ready to sell the souls for fifteen 
roubles in bank-notes. Only look here, my father, concerning 
those contracts : if any rye or buckwheat flour is required, or 
groats, or meat, please don't forget me." 

" No, my dear woman, I will not," he said ; and at the same 
time he wiped away the perspiration, which was pouring down 
his face in three streams. He then questioned her as to whether 
she had not some confidential friends in the town, or some 
acquaintance, whom she could authorise to complete the deed of 
sale, and all that was necessary. 

" Why, the son of the protopope, Father Kirill, serves in the 
courts," replied Mrs. Korobotchka, whereupon Tchitchikoff 
asked her to write the protopope's son a confidential letter ; and, 
in order to prevent any unnecessary obstacles from arising, he 
even undertook to compose it himself. 

" It would be a good thing," thought Mrs. Korobotchka to 
herself in the meanwhile, "if he would take my flour and 
cattle for the government. I must make him a present. There 
was some batter left over last night : I will go and tell Fetinya 
to bake some griddle-cakes (hlini). It would be as well, too, to 
make him a sweet tart with eggs : I have some very fine eggs, 
and it will only require a short itime." 

The hostess thenleft the room, in order to put her idea into 
execution with regard to the tart, and probably intending to 
amplify it with other productions of domestic cooking and 
baking ; while Tchitchikoff proceeded to the drawing-room, 
where he had passed the night, in order to get the necessary 
papers from his dressing-case. Here everything had long since 
been put in order : the luxurious feather-bed had been carried 
away and a dressing table stood before the divan. Placing his 
case upon it, he rested awhile ; for he felt that he was as 
drenched with perspiration as though he had been in a river. 
Everything he had on, from his shirt to his stockings, was moist. 
" Ah, that confounded old woman has worn me out I " he said, 
after resting a while ; and then he opened his dressing-case. He 
immediately set to work, drew out some paper, and mending a 
pen, began to write. At that moment his hostess entered. 

" You have a pretty case there, my friend," said she, seating 
herself beside him. " You purchased it at Moscow, surely ? " 
" Yes," replied Tchitchikoff, continuing to write. 



MADAME KOROBOTCHKINA. 51 

" I knew it : everything there is of good workmanship. Two 
years ago my sister brought me some warm shoes for the chil- 
dren from Moscow, and they are of such good material that the 
children are still wearing them to this hour. Ah, what a lot of 
stamped paper you have there ! " she went on, peeping into the 
dressing-case. In fact, there was a good deal of stamped paper 
there. " If you would only give me a sheet of it," she added. 
" I need it so much : if a petition has to be sent to the court, I 
have nothing to write it on." 

Tchitchikofl' explained to her that the paper was not suited for 
the~pufpose she indicated : that it was intended for bills of sale 
and not for petitions. However, at last, in order to quiet her, 
he gave her several sheets valued at a rouble each. Then having 
written the letter to the protopope's son, he gave it to her to 
sign, and asked for a brief list of the dead moujiks. It appeared 
that she kept no list, but she knew almost all of their names by 
heart. He made her dictate them to him on the spot. The family- 
names of some of the peasants, and still more their nicknames, 
surprised him ; and each time he heard a strange one, he 
paused and looked up. A certain Petr Savelieff Neuvazhai- 
Koruito''' struck him especially, and he could not refrain from 
saying, " That is very long." Another had the term korovuii 
Jcirpitch\ coupled with his name, and one was simply called 
Y\'^heel Ivan. When Tchitchikoff had finished writing, he 
sniffed the air a little, and inhaled the smell of something hot 
and buttery. 

"I humbly beg of you to taste," said his hostess, whereupon 
he glanced round, and saw on the table some mushrooms, pat- 
ties, butter-cakes, pancakes, griddle-cakes, and all sorts of tarts 
— tarts containing garlic, poppy-seeds, curds, fish, and what not. 

" Here is a sweet pasty with eggs," said the hostess. 

Tchitchikoff' attacked the sweet pasty with eggs, and after 
eating nearly half of it, he praised it. In fact, the pasty 
was savoury in itself; and besides, after all his trouble and bar- 
tering with the old woman, he needed some substantial refresh- 
ment. 

" Will you have some griddle-cakes ? " asked his hostess. 

In reply, Tchitchikoff" rolled three cakes together, dipped 
them in some melted butter, put them into his mouth, and then 
wiped his lips and rubbed his hands on his napkin. 

After repeating this three times, he requested his hostess to 
order his britchka to be prepared. Nastasya Petrovna imme- 

* Despise-the-Trough. t Cow-brick. 

UNIVERSITY OF H.LINOIS 
LIBRARY 



62 DEAD SOULS. 

diately sent Fetinya with instructions to attend to this, and also 
to fetch some more hot griddle-cakes at the same time. 

*' Your griddle-cakes are very good, my dear woman," said 
Tchitchikoff, accepting the hot ones when they arrived. 

" Yes, we do them fairly well here," said the hostess ; " but 
it's a pity the crops are bad ; the flour is not so good. — But why 
are you in such a hurry, my friend ? " she added, perceiving 
that Tchitchikoff had his cap in his band. " The britchka is 
not harnessed yet." 

"It must be ready, my good woman, it must be ready. My 
man harnesses the horses quickly." 

" Well, please don't forget about the contracts." 

" I won't forget, I won't forget," said Tchitchikoflf, as ho 
went into the vestibule. 

" And you won't buy any lard ? " said his hostess, following 
him. 

" Why not ? I'll buy some, but later on." 

" I shall have some at Christmas." 

" I will buy it, I will buy it : I will buy everything you have, 
even your lard." 

'•Perhaps you would also like some chicken's feathers. I 
shall have some also at St. Philip's feast." 

" Very good, very good," said Tchitchitkoff. 

" You see, my father, that your britchka is not yet ready," 
added his hostess, when they emerged from the porch. 

"It will be ready sure enough. But tell me, how I am to 
get back to the high road ? " 

" How are you to get to it ? " said his hostess. " Well it is 
hard to tell you ; there are a number of turns, but I can send 
a little girl with you to guide you. You probably have room 
for her to sit on the box ? " 

" Of course." 

" Then, I will send a little girl with you ; she knows the 
road ; only mind you do not carry her ofl' ! The traders have 
already carried off one of my girls." 

Tchitchikoff assured her that he would not do so, and Mrs. 
Korobotchka, regaining her composure, then began to inspect 
everything in her yard ; she glanced at the housekeeper, who 
was bringing some honey from the storehouse ; at a moujik, 
who made his appearance at the gate ; and gradually her mind, 
. sorely confused by her chat with our hero, reverted to house- 
. hold matters. 

" Ah ! here is the britchka, here is the britchka ! " exclaimed 
Tchitchikoff ^at last, catching sight of his approaching vehicle. 



MADAME KOROBOTCHKINA. 53 

" What have you been doing so long, you blockhead ? " he 
added to Selifan. " It is evident you haven't entirely got rid 
of the fumes of your intoxication." 

To this Selifan made no reply. 

"Farewell, my dear woman!" added our hero. "Now, 
where is your girl ? " 

" Hey, Pelageya," said the hostess to a little girl of eleven, 
who was standing near the porch, in a gown of home-made 
linen stufi", with bare feet, which might have been taken at a 
distance for boots, so bedaubed they were with fresh mud. 
"Show this gentleman the road." 

Selifan helped the child to climb on to the box, Tchitchikoff 
placed his foot on the step after her ; and making the britchka 
tilt on one side, for he was rather heavy, he finally took his 
seat, saying, "Ah, now, that's well! Farewell, my good 
woman ! " Then the horses started off. 

Selifan growled all the way, but, at the same time, he was 
very attentive to his business, as was generally the case with 
him when he had been in fault, or intoxicated. The horses 
were wonderfully spruced up. The collar of one of them, which 
had hitherto been almost in a tattered state, was now skilfully 
mended. They went on till they reached a cross road, and 
here the coachman turned to the little girl seated on the box 
beside him. Pointing with his whip to the cross road, which 
was black with the rain, and which ran between fresh, bright, 
green fields, he asked, " To the right, eh? " 

" No, no : I will show you," rephed the girl. 

"Where now?" asked Selifan, when they had gone some 
distance farther, and had come to a fresh cross road. 

" It's here," replied the little maid, pointing with her hand. 

" Why, you child ! " said Selifan. " That is to the right, as 
I said. She doesn't know the right from the left ! " he added. 

Although the day was very fine, the road was so miry that 
the wheels of the britchka caught up the mud, and soon became 
covered with it as with a coating of felt, which rendered the 
equipage considerably heavier. Moreover, the soil was clayey, 
and unusually adhesive. For these reasons they did not emerge 
from the bye ways until mid- day. Without the aid of the little 
girl, it would have been difficult to accomplish even this ; for 
the roads sprawled out in all directions, and Selifan would have 
covered a vast expanse of unnecessary ground, without any 
fault of his own. However, the little girl at last pointed to a 
black-looking building in the distance, and said, " There is the 
highway." 



54 DEAD SOULS. 

"And that building?" inquired Selifan. 

" That's the tavern," said the child. 

"All right, now we can get along by ourselves," rejoined 
Selifan: "run home." 

He drew up, and helped her to descend, muttering between 
his teeth, " What a black-legged creature you are ! " 

TchitchikofF gave her a copper groschen ; and then she ran 
away home, quite content with her present and especially with 
having ridden on the carriage-box. 



CHAPTER IV. 



NOZDEEFF. 



On reaching the inn Tchitchikoff commanded a halt for two 
reasons : on the one hand, to give the horses an opportunity to 
rest, and, on the other, to get something to eat for himself. 

The wooden inn, darkened with age, received TchitchikofF 
beneath its narrow but hospitable verandah, supported on turned 
wooden columns, which resembled ancient ecclesiastical candle- 
sticks. The inn was somewhat like an izbd (cabin), but of 
rather larger dimensions. The carving on the cornice round 
the windows and door gave it a tolerably artistic appearance, 
which was heightened by some jugs and flowers painted on 
the shutters. 

Ascending the narrow wooden staircase which led up-stairs 
into a spacious vestibule, Tchitchikoff encountered a door which 
opened with a squeak, and beheld a fat old woman in a motley 
chintz gown, who addressed him with, " This way, if you 
please." 

" Do you happen to have a roast sucking-pig ?" Tchitchikofi 
asked in reply to her greeting. 
,, " Yes." 

" With horse-radish and sour cream ? " 

" Yes, with both." 

" Fetch it here, then." 

The old woman went to get it, and brought a' plate, and a 
napkin which was starched to such a point that it stood on one 
end like a dry crust ; then she brought a knife with a yellow 
bone handle and a blade as thin as a penknife, a two-pronged 
fork, and a salt-cellar which could not be induced to stand 
straight on the table. 



NOZDREFF. 55 

Our hero, according to his custom, immediately entered into 
conversation with the landlady, and inquired whether she kept 
the inn herself, or whether there was a landlord, and how much 
money the inn brought in each year, and whether her sons lived 
with her, and whether the eldest one was married or unmarried, 
what sort of a wife he had, whether she had brought him a 
large dowry or not, and whether the bride's father was satisfied, 
or whether he had been angry at only receiving only a few presents 
at the wedding ; in short, he omitted nothing. Of course it is 
understood that he inquired what landowners there were in the 
vicinity / and he found out that there were several, named 
Blokhin, Potchitaefi", Muilnoi, Tcheprakoff, and Sobakevitch. 
" Ah ! do you know Sobakevitch ? " he asked, and he imme- 
diately learnt that the old woman knew not only Sobakevitch, 
but Maniloflf also. She declared, too, that Manilofi" was more 
exacthifj than Sobakevitch : "He immediately orders a chicken 
to be boiled, asks for some veal," she said ; " and if there is any 
roast mutton, he asks for that also — indeed he tries everything ; 
but Sobakevitch only asks for one thing, eats it all up, and then 
wantsa second help without extra charge." 

While Tchitchikoff was thus conversing and eating the roast 
sucking-pig, the rumble of an approaching carriage became audi- 
ble. Peeping through the window he perceived a light britchka, 
attached to a troika of three fine horses, halting before the door 
of the inn. Two men descended from the britchka. One of them 
was fair-haired and of lofty stature; the other somewhat shorter 
and of dark complexion. The fair man wore a dark-blue Hun- 
garian coat, the dark one a simple striped summer JRcket. In 
the distance an empty calash was coming along, drawn by four 
long-maned horses with frayed collars and some rope harness. 
The fair-haired man immediately walked up-stairs, while the 
dark one remained fumbling for something in the britchka, 
talking to the servant and pointing to the advancing calash. 
His voice struck Tchitchikoft" as familiar to him in some way or 
other. While he was still gazing out of the window the fair- 
haired man had succeeded in opening the door of the room. He 
was of lofty stature, with a thin, or what is called a worn face, 
and a reddish moustache. It might be surmised from his 
brown cheeks that he knew what smoke was, if not the smoke 
of powder, at least that from tobacco. He bowed courteously 
to Tchitchikoflf, and the latter responded in the same way. 
Then the dark-complexioned man entered, flinging his cap from 
his head upon the table, and jauntily passing his fingers through 
his thick black hair. He was a well-built young man of medium 



56 DEAD SOULS. 

height, with full red cheeks, teeth as white as snow, and whiskers 
as Slack as pitch. He looked as fresh as blood and milk ; his 
face was radiant with health. 

"Bah, bah, bah ! " he exclaimed all at once, flinging both 
arms about as he caught sight of Tchitchikoflf. " How did you 
come here ? " 

Tchitchikoff now recognised Nozdreff, the same person in- 
whose company he had dined at the procurator's, and who, in 
the course of a very few minutes, had got upon a very intimate 
footing with him. 

"Where have you been?" resumed Nozdreff; and without 
awaiting a reply, he went on. " For myself I have been to the 
fair, my dear fellow. And now congratulate me ! I'm totally 
ruined ! Would you believe it ? I was never so completely 
plucked in all my life ! Why, I am travelling with peasants' 
horses ! Just look out of the window ! " Hereupon he bent 
Tchitchikoff's head so that it almost came in violent contact 
with the window sash. " Do you see what wretched beasts 
they are?" he continued. "It was with difficulty that they 
dragged me along, the cursed animals ! I had to get into his 
britchka." So saying, Nozdreff pointed to his comrade. "By 
the way, j'ou are not already acquainted ? This is my brother- 
in-law, Mizhueff. We were talking about you this morning. 
' See, now,' said I, ' we must fi.nd Tchitchikoff! ' But oh ! my 
friend, if you only knew how completely ruined I am! Will 
you believe it ? I not only lost four trotters, but everything 
else besides ! Why, I haven't either a watch or a chain about 
me ! " 

Tchitchikoff now looked at Nozdreff, and perceived that he 
had neither watch nor chain. It even struck him that one of 
his whiskers was smaller and thinner than the other. 

" If I only had had twenty roubles in my pocket," continued 
Nozdreff, " only just twenty, I could have won everything 
back ; that is to say, I could have won that and thirty thou- 
sand roubles besides, and have immediately put them into this 
pocket-book, like an honourable man." 

" But that was what you said at the time," replied the fair- 
haired man ; " and when I gave you fifty roubles, you lost 
them too." 

"I did not mean to lose them; by heavens, I didn't mean 
to ! If I had not committed a mistake I should not have lost 
them. If I hadn't staked three to two on that cursed seven 
after the king, I might have broken the bank." 

" But you didn't break it," said the fair-haired man. 



NOZDREFF. 67 

" I did not break it because I plaj-ed too soon. But do you 
think that your major plays well ? " 

" "Whether he plays well or not, he outplayed you." 

" Much that amounts to ! " said Nozdreii". " I'll win some 
cash from him in the same way. Yes, just let him play with 
me again, then we'll see, we'll see what sort of a player he is. 
Ah! how jolly we were in town, friend Tchitchikoflf ! Really, 
the fair was capital. The merchants themselves declared that 
there never was such a concourse of people. Everything which 
I had brought up from the country sold at the most favourable 
prices. Ah, my friend, what a carouse we had ! Even now 
when I think of it — deuce take it — that is, it is such a pity you 
were not there. Just imagine, a regiment of dragoons Avas 
stationed at three versts from the town. Every one of the 
officers — and there were forty of them — came to town ; and 
then we began to drink, brother, with the staff cavalry captain, 
Potzyelueflf, such a splendid fellow he is ! such a moustache he 
has, brother ! He calls Bordeaux ' burdashki.' ' Bring some 
burdashki, my good fellow,' says he. Then Lieutenant Kuv- 
shinnikoff — ah, my friend, what a charming man he is ! And 
I may say that the carouse was managed according to rule. 
We were all together, and what wine Ponomareff gave us ! He 
is a rascal though, and you mustn't purchase anything in his 
shop : he mixes all sorts of rubbish in his wine — sandal-wood, 
burnt cork, and he even colours it with elderberry, the villain ; 
but after all if he brings a little bottle from the cellar which he 
calls his own sanctum, then truly, my friend, you find yourself 
in the empyrean. Our champagne was so good that the 
governor's is nothing to it, simply kvas.*' Fancy, not only 
real Cliquot, but a special sort of Cliquot — double-distilled 
Cliquot. And then I got one little bottle of a French wine 
called ' Bonbon,' with a perfume. Ah ! roses and everything 
you like. But what a carouse we did have ! After us came 
some prince or other, and he sent to the shop for champagne ; 
but no, there wasn't a single bottle left in the whole city, the 
officers had drunk it all up. Just think, I alone drank seven- 
teen bottles in the course of the dinner." 

" Come, now, you can't drink seventeen bottles," remarked 
the fair-haired man. 

" On the word of an honest man, I say that I did drink 
them," replied Nozdrefl". 

"You can say what you like, but I assert that you cannot 
drink ten." 

* A Bourish. liquor made from rye-meal and malt. 



58 DEAD SOULS. 

" Come, will you bet that I can't drink them ? " 

" "What's the use of betting ? " 

"Come, now, wager that gun which you bought in 
town." 

"No, I won't." 

" Come, wager it, try it." 

" I don't want to try it." 

" Yes, you would be left without a gun as you are left with- 
out a hat. Ah, friend Tchitchikoflf, how sorry I am that you 
were not there. I know that you could not have parted from 
Kuvshinnikofi". How well you would have agreed with each 
other ! He's not at all like the procurator and all those 
government misers who tremble over every copeck. He can 
play at galbik, faro, or anything you wish. Ah, Tchitchikoff ! 
Now, what would it have cost you to come ? Truly, you 
are a dirty pig for not coming, a thorough lout. Kiss me, my 
soul ; death, but I love you ! Look, Mizhueff ! fate has brought 
us together. Now, what is he to me, or what am I to him? 
He has come here, God knows whence, and we also have come 
here. But, I say, how many carriages there were, my friend, 
at the fair, and all on such a grand scale ! I tried my luck at 
the wheel of fortune, and won two boxes of pomatum, a porce- 
lain cup, and a guitar : then I staked once more, and gave the 
thing a twist, and lost more than six roubles, dash it ! But I 
say, if you only knew what a wild fellow Kuvshinnikofi" is ! We 
went to nearly all the balls together. There was such a woman 
at one of them, with hardly anything on her back. She was 
nearly naked, and I thought to myself, ' Devil take it ! ' But 
Kuvshinnikofi" — he's such a brute ! — he just seated himself 
beside her, and paid her such compliments in French. I assure 
you, he didn't miss flirting with any of the women. That's 
what he calls ' making the most of the strawberries.' By the 
way one dealer at the fair sold such wonderful fish and slices 
of dried sturgeon. I have brought some with me — lucky I 
thought of buying them while I still had some money left. 
But, I say, where are you going now ? " 

" To see a man I have to deal with," said Tchitchikofi". 
" Oh, dash the man ! let him alone ; come to my house." 
" Impossible, impossible ! I have some business to transact 
with him." 

" Well, that's a nice story to invent. Ah, you Opodeldok 
Ivanovitch, you're deceiving us ! " 

" Eeally, I have some business to attend to, and very impor- 
tant business too." 



J 



NOZDREFF. 69 

" I'll bet that you are lying ! Come, tell me to whose house 
you are going." 

" Well, then, to Sobakevitch's." 

On hearing this Nozdreff burst into such a resounding laugh 
as only a fresh, healthy man can give vent to, displaying all 
his sugar-white teeth, and his cheeks quivering and leaping. 
A traveller in an adjoining room who was abruptly aroused from 
his slumbers, stared round, wondering what was happening, 
and finally ejaculated, 

"Eh, what ! has the house tumbled down? " 

" What is there ridiculous in what I said ?" said Tchitchikoff, 
somewhat offended by Nozdreff 's laugh. 

But Nozdreff continued laughing at the top of his voice, and 
even shouted at intervals, " Oh, mercy ! I shall burst." 

" But there's nothing to laugh at. I promised Sobakevitch 
to go and see him," said Tchitchikoff. 

" You'll be sorry whenj'ou reach his house, he's a downright 
niggard ! Ah ! I know your character ; you'll be mightily dis- 
appointed if you think you'll find a faro bank and a good bottle 
of ' bonbon ' there. Listen, my dear fellow; let Sobakevitch 
go to the devil, and come with me. What dried sturgeon I'll 
treat you to ! Ponomareff bowed to me when I bought it and 
said, ' It's only for you ; you may search through the whole 
fair, and you won't find any such dried sturgeon.' But he's a 
frightful scamp, and I said so to his face. ' You,' said I, ' and 
our brandy farmers are the biggest rascals we have.' The beast 
laughed, and stroked his beard. Kuvshinnikoff and I break- 
fasted at his place every day. Ah, my dear fellow, I forgot to 
tell you. But I've got something which I wouldn't sell for 
ten thousand roubles. Hey, there, Porfiriy ! " he shouted to 
his man, who was holding in one hand a knife, and in the other 
a crust of bread with a bit of sturgeon, which he had succeeded 
in slicing off" on the sly. "Hey, there, Porfiriy!" shouted 
Nozdrefi", " bring that puppy here. Such a dog ! " he continued, 
turning to Tchitchikoff. " I didn't buy it, I stole it ; the owner 
wouldn't give it up of his own free will. I offered him a 
chestnut horse : you remember it — the one I won from Khvos- 
tuireff? " 

As it happened, Tchitchikoff had never seen either the chest- 
nut horse nor I^vostuireft' in his life. 

" Won't you have something to eat, master, now ? " said 
the old woman, approaching Nozdreff. 

"No, nothing. Ah, my dear Tchitchikoff", how we did 



60 DEAD SOULS. 

carouse ! However, woman, give me a glass of vodka [spirits]. 
What kind have you got ?" . ■ 

" Aniseed," replied the old woman. 

" Well, fetch your aniseed," said Nozdreff. 

" Give me a glass too," said the fair-haired man. 

" There was an actress at the theatre who sang like a canary," 
now resumed Nozdreff. " Kuvshinnikoff, who sat beside me, 
said, ' There, my dear fellow, we must make the most of the 
strawberries with her.' I think there were at least fifty booths 
at the fair. A fellow named Fenardi turned somersets for four 
hours." Here he took a glass of aniseed from the old woman, 
who made a low reverence to him. " Bring it here! " he next 
cried, catching sight of Porfiriy entering with the puppy. 

Porfiriy was dressed like his master, in a dirty wadded ark- 
haluk.* He set the puppy on the floor ; the animal stretched 
itself out, and then began to sniff and smell. 

" There's a pup," said Nozdreff, grasping it by the back, and 
lifting it up, whereupon it emitted a very pitiful howl. "But 
you haven't done as I told you," resumed Nozdreff, turning to 
Porfiriy, and examining the dog's belly attentively. " You have 
not combed him." 

" Yes, I did comb him." 

" Then where have all those fleas come from ? " 

" I can't tell. Perhaps they crawled on to him from the 
britchka." 

"You lie ! you lie ! and you never meant to comb him. I 
believe, you fool, that you have given him some of your own 
fleas. Look here, Tchitchikoff, look what ears he has ! just 
feel them with your hand." 

" Oh, I can see them; he's of a good breed," replied Tchit- 
chikofi". 

" No, but take hold of him ; feel his earg." 

Tchitchikoff, to please Nozdreff, felt the animal's ears, and 
then remarked, "Yes, he will be a good dog." 

" And do you feel how cold his nose is ? Take it in your 
hand." 

Not wishing to offend him, Tchitchikoff touched the dog's 
snout also, saying, " Good scent." 

" A genuine bull-dog," went on Nozdreff. " I confess that I 
had for a long time been whetting my teeth for a bull-dog. 
Here, Porfiriy, take him away." 

Porfiriy took hold of the dog, and carried him off to the 
britchka. 

* A loog, straight coat reaching to the knees. 



NOZDREFF. 61 

"Listen, Tchitchikoflf," continued Nozdreff, "you certainly- 
must come to my house ; it's only five versts away ; wo shall 
be there in no time, and then you can go to Sobakevitch's, if 
you like." 

""Why not?" said Tchitcbikoff to himself. "I will go to 
Nozdrefi"s, after all. He isn't any worse than the others. He's 
like everybody else ; and, besides, he's just been losing money. 
He has plenty of everything, evidently ; and I might ask him 
to give me something without payment." " I'll go, if you like," 
be now added aloud ; " but don't detain me long ; time is of 
value to me just now." 

" Ah ! that's right ! that's good ! Wait, I'll kiss you for 
that." Here Nozdreff and Tchitchikofi' embraced each other. 
"That's glorious!" added the former; "we'll all three ride 
together." 

" No, you must let me leave you," said the fair-haired man. 
" I must go home." 

" Nonsense, nonsense, my dear fellow ! I won't let you go." 

"But really, my wife will be angry ; you can get into the 
other britchka now." 

" Ni, ni, ni, don't think of it." 

The fair-haired man was one of those individuals who, at first 
sight, seem to have a stubborn character. Before you have 
succeeded in opening your mouth they are ready to dispute, and 
it seems as if they would never agree with anyone. However, 
it always ends by their betraying some weakness, and consent- 
. ing to the very thing they had opposed. 

" Nonsense ! " said Nozdreft", in answer to some objection 
made by his brother-in-law. Then he set the latter' s cap on his 
head, and the fair-haired fellow followed his companions. 

" You haven't paid for your aniseed, master," now said the 
landlady. 

" Oh, very well, very well, my good woman ! I say, brother- 
in-law, pay, if you please. I haven't a copeck left in my 
pocket. 

" How much do you want ? " asked his brother-in-law. 

" Why, twenty copecks in all," said the old woman. 

" She's mad ! Give her ten ; that's more than enough." 

"It's but little, master," said the old woman. However, she 
took the money gratefully, and hastily went to open the door 
for them. She had lost nothing, as she had asked four times 
the worth of the vodka. 

The travellers took their seats. Tchitchikoff's britchka drove 
■ idongside the one in which Nozdrefi' and his brother-in-law sat, 



62 DEAD SOULS. 

1 

and thus they could all three of them converse freely on the 
way. Behind them followed Nozdreff's little calash, which was 
always dropping in the rear, with its bony peasants' horses. In 
this vehicle rode Porfiriy and the puppy. 

While the travellers are journeying on, suppose we say some- 
thing about Nozdreff, who may, perhaps, play a not unimpor- 
tant part in our drama. 

Nozdreff's person is probably already somewhat known to 
the reader. It has fallen to the lot of everyone to meet a few 
men like him. They are called lively young fellows, even in 
childhood, and at school they have the reputation of being good 
comrades. A certain amount of frankness, straightforwardness, 
and boldness are visible on their countenances. They make 
acquaintances quickly, and before you have time to look about 
you they call you " thou." They apparently strike up a friend- 
ship for ever ; but it almost always happens that the person whose 
friendship they wish to cultivate quarrels with them that same 
evening over a friendly drinking-bout. Nozdreff, at thirty-five, 
was precisely the same as he had been at eighteen and twenty 
years of age — a great lover of carousing. Marriage had effected 
no change in him, especially as his wife had soon departed to the 
other world, leaving him two small children who were decidedly 
in his way, although a very pretty nurse looked after them. He 
never could stay at home more than a day at a time. His sen- 
sitive nose scented out a fair with all sorts of assemblies and balls 
at a distance of ten versts away. In the twinkling of an eye 
he was there, disputing and raising a tumult at the card tables, 
for, like all men of his description, he bad a passion for cards. 
He did not play in quite an irreproachable style or quite 
honestly, as we have seen in the first chapter, for he knew 
several ways of turning up false cards, and other things besides, 
so that the game very frequently ended by his coming to grief ; 
he was either kicked out, or else he returned home with only 
one whisker left him, and that rather scanty. However, his 
full, healthy cheeks were so well provided with vegetative 
force that his whiskers soon grew afresh, and even stronger 
than before. And what was strangest of all — the thing can 
only happen in Russia — was that after a time he again met the 
friends who had pummelled him, and met them ^as though 
nothing had taken place. And he was not the worse for it, as 
the saying goes, nor they either. 

When Nozdreff was in society he would either drink himself 
full in such a manner that he could only laugh, or else he would 
lie and lie in the most terrible way. Indeed he lied absolutely 



NOZDREFF. ^3 

without any need to do so ; all of a sudden he would tell a 
stoiy about some horse he had owned w^ith a blue or pink mane, 
and such-like nonsense, so that his hearers finally walked off 
in mingled amazement and disgust. 

While we have been describing Nozdreff the three equipages 
have driven up to the porch of his house. In the house no 
preparations had been made for their reception. In the middle 
of the dining-room stood two wooden trestles, and mounted 
upon them were two moujiks whitening the walls, and droning 
out an interminable song, while the floor was all bespattered 
with whitewash. Nozdreff at once ordered the moujiks and the 
trestles off, and ran out info an adjoining room to give his orders. 
His guests heard him giving the cook directions about dinner, 
and on reflection, Tchitchikoff", who already began to feel some 
appetite, realised that they would not sit down to |table before 
five o'clock. When Nozdreff returned he took his guests to 
inspect his village ; and in a little over two hours he had shown 
them absolutely everything worthy of exhibition. First of all 
they went to inspect the stables, where they saw two mares — 
one a dapple-grey and the other a chestnut — and then a brown 
stalHon, not very handsome to look at, but for which Nozdreff 
swore that he had paid ten thousand roubles. 

" Oh ! no, you did not give ten thousand for him surely," 
remarked his brother-in-law. " He isn't worth even one." 

" By heavens, I did give ten thousand ! " said Nozdreff. 

" You may swear as much as you like," replied his brother- 
in-law. 

" Well, if you like, we will have a bet about it," said Nozdreff. 

But his brother-in-law would not bet. Then Nozdreff showed 
them an empty stall, where some valuable horses had formerly 
stood ; and in this same stable they also saw a goat, an animal 
which, according to an ancient superstition, is considered an in- 
dispensable adjunct in any place where horses are kept. This 
one seemed to be on good terms with the steeds, and walked 
about beneath their bellies as if quite at home. Then Nozdreff 
led his friends to view a young wolf, which was tied up. 

"Here's a little wolf," said he. "I have him fed on raw 
meat, expressly. I want him to be a perfect wild beast." 

Next they went to look at the pond, which according to Noz- 
dreff's statements, contained fish of such a size that two men 
could vfiih difiiculty draw one of them to the shore — a statement 
which his relative did not fail to cast a doubt upon. 

"Now I'll show you the most splendid pair of dogs in the 
world, Tchitchikoff," said Nozdrefi". " The firmness of their flesh 



64 DEAD SOULS. 

will arouse your admiration, and their scent— it's wonderfully 
keen." Thereupon he led them to a very prettily built little house, 
surrounded by a large yard, enclosed on all sides. As they entered 
the yard they saw all kinds of dogs, both long and short-haired, 
and of every possible hue and colour — dark brown, black with 
brown streaks, brown-spotted, red-spotted, black-eared, grey- 
eared, &c. NozdrefF was perfectly at home among all these 
animals, like a father in the midst of his family. They all in- 
stantly elevated their tails, wagged them according to canine laws, 
flew straight to meet the visitors, and began to greet them. About 
ten of them placed their paws on Nozdreff's shoulders, another 
one manifested the same friendship for Tchitchikoff, and, rising 
on his hind legs licked his lips, so that our hero immediately 
began to spit. The three men duly examined the two dogs, which 
inspired admiration by the firmness of their flesh — indeed they 
were fine animals — and then they went to see a Crimean bitch, 
who was already blind and would die soon, so Nozdreff" declared, 
though she had been a splendid creature only two years before. 
They looked at the bitch and found that she really was blind. 
Then they went to see the mill, overlooking a little stream. 
" And now we must visit the blacksmith," said Nozdrefl'. And 
after walking a little farther they came upon the smithy. 

" Here, in this field," said Nozdrefi", pointing to a meadow near 
the blacksmith's shop, " there's such a pest of hares, that you 
can't see the ground for them at times. The other day I caught 
one of them by the hind-legs with my own hand." 

"Come now, you can't catch a hare with your hand," re^ 
marked his brother-in-law. 

"But I did, I actually did catch one!" replied Nozdreff'. 
"Now I will take you to show you where my land ends," 
he resumed, turning to Tchitchikoff'. 

Nozdreff led his guests through a field full of briars and stones 
and little mounds. The guests were obliged to make their way 
over the clods recently turned by the plough. Tchitchikoff 
began to feel tifed. lu many places water burst forth beneath 
their feet, the district lay so low. At first they took pains in 
-walking and set their feet cautiously ; but perceiving at last that 
this was of no avail, they went straight on, without trying to 
.escape the mud. After proceeding a considerable distance, they 
at last beheld the boundary, which consisted of a wooden post 
and a narrow ditch. " Here's the boundary-line," said Nozdreff; 
" all that you behold on this side is mine, including all the 
^forest which looks so blue in that direction, and everything that 
is behind the forest — yes, all that is mine ! " 



NOZDREFF. 65 

" "When did the forest come into your possession ? " inquired 
his brother-in-law. " Have you purchased it recently ? It 
never used to belong to you." 

" Yes, I bought it a little while ago," replied Nozdreff. 

" How did you manage to buy it so quickly ? " 

" How ? Why, I bought it on the day before yesterday, and 
I paid a high price for it : devil take it ! " 

" But you were at the fair then ! " 

" What a fellow you are, Sofron ! Can't a man be at a fair 
and buy some land as well ? Well, yes, I was at the fair, but 
my steward bought it in my absence." 

*' Yes, the steward might have done it," said his brother-in- 
law ; but he still had his doubts and shook his head. 

The visitors returned to the house by the same abominable 
route. Nozdreff conducted them to his study, in which, how- 
ever, no trace of those things which are usually to be seen in a 
study, namely, books and papers, were perceptible ; the only 
noteworthy articles there were a sword and two guns, which 
were hanging on the wall, one of the firearms, according to their 
owner, being worth three hundred, and the other eight hundred, 
roubles. His brother-in-law, after surveying the apartment, 
merely shook his head. Then they were shown some Turkish 
daggers, on one of which was engraved the name " Savclli Sibi- 
ri/aliojf, niaker." And then a hand-organ was produced, and 
Nozdreff immediately ground out something. This hand-organ 
played not unpleasantly ; but in the middle of the tunes some 
catastrophe seemed to take place, for a mazurka suddenly 
ended in the song, "Malbrook's going to the war ; " and the 
latter, in its turn, unexpectedly developed into a well-known 
waltz of ancient date. Long after the player had ceased to turn 
the crank, one pipe in the organ, a very audacious one, would 
not quiet down, but went on whistling. Then Nozdreff' exhi- 
bited his pipes of wood, clay, and meerschaum, coloured and 
uncoloured, some of them enveloped in chamois-s^in ; also a tchi- 
bouk with an amber mouthpiece, which he had won at play not 
long before ; and a tobacco-pouch, embroidered by some countess 
or other, who had fallen head over heels in love with him at 
some posting station, and whose little hands, as he expressed it, 
were the most subtle superfluities in the world. By this word 
superfluities, he probably intended to designate the highest 
pitch of perfection. 

After nibbling a little smoked sturgeon, they seated them- 
selves at table at about five o'clock. It was evident that with 
Nozdreff dinner did not constitute the principal feature in life ; 

E 



66 DEAD SOULS 

the dishes did not play a very great part in it : some of the 
food was burned to cinders and part of it was not cooked at all. 
It was plain, too, that the cook was chiefly guided by inspiration, 
and dashed in the first thing which came to hand : if the pepper 
stood near him, he sprinkled in pepper ; if cabbage came in his 
way, he used cabbage ; and added milk, ham, peas — in short, 
everything, slap-dash fashion. So long as it was hot, some 
flavour would surely be the result. At dinner, Nozdreff directed 
attention to the wine ; even before the soup was served he 
poured out a large glass of port for each of his guests, and 
another of Haut Sauterne ; for in the Russian provinces there is 
no such thing as plain Sauterne. 

Then Nozdi-eff ordered a bottle of Madeira to be brought ; 
" and better,'' said he, " no field-marshal ever drank." The 
Madeira actually scorched their mouths ; for the dealers being 
well acquainted with the tastes of the provincial landed gentry, 
had touched it up with rum, and added nitro-muriatic acid, in 
the hope that the drinker's stomach would bear it all. Then 
Nozdrefi" ordered a bottle of sparkling Burgundy to be brought, 
and filled the glasses with great diligence, right and left — Tchi- 
tchikoflf's and his brother-in-law's ; but Tchitchikofi" observed, 
by the way, that he did not pour much into his own. This 
made him cautious ; and as soon as Nozdrefi" began to talk or 
to pour out some more liquor for his brother-in-law, he promptly 
emptied his own glass on his plate. Before long some cherry- 
brandy was brought on, which had, so Nozdrefi' declared, ex- 
actly the same flavour as cream, but in which, to Tchitchikoft"s 
amazement, common raw brandy was quite perceptible. Next 
they drank some sort of balsam, which bore a name difiicult to 
recall ; indeed the host himself gave it a difierent title when he 
mentioned it for the second time. 

The dinner had long been finished, and all the wines had 
been tried, but the guests still lingered at the table. Tchitchi- 
kofi" was unwilling to approach Nozdrefi" on the matter of most 
importance to himself in the presence of the brother-in-law. 
The subject was one that demanded solitude and a friendly 
discussion. However, after all the brother-in-law could hardly 
be a dangerous person, for he appeared to be pretty thoroughly 1 
intoxicated, and as he sat there he kept pecking at the table 
with his nose. Becoming conscious all at once that he was not 
in a very nice condition, he made a suggestion that he had 
better start for home, but he did so in as languid and feeble a 
voice as if, to use the Russian expression, he were bridling a 
horse with pincers. 



NOZDREFF. 67 

" No, no, ni, ni ! I won't let you go ! " said Nozdreff. 

*' Oh, don't detain me, my friend ; I really must go," said 
the brother-in-law. " You ought not to detain me." 

"Nonsense, nonsense ! we'll set up a bank in a minute." 

"No ; set it up yourself, brother, but I can't. My wife will 
be in a great rage, she will indeed. I shall have to tell her all 
about the fair. I must, brother — I really must go at once. No, 
don't detain me," 

" Well ! let your wife go to . A mighty important matter 

you have to discuss with her ! " 

" No, brother ; but she is so worthy of esteem, and so true ! 
She renders me such services that, will yoif beHeve it ? the 
tears come into my eyes at thought of her. No, don't keep me 
here ; as I am an honest man I must leave." 

" Let him go ; of what use is he ? " said Tchitchikoff softly to 
Nozdreff. 

"Well, that's true," said Nozdreff. "I hate such people 
like death itself! " and he added aloud, " Well, the Devil be 
with you ! go and dally with your vfife,fetiuk." * 

"No, brother, don't call me fetiuk," retorted his brother-in- 
law. "I am indebted to her for my life. She really is so 
good and sweet, and she caresses me so — it moves me to tears. 
If she asks me what I have seen at the fair, I shall have to tell 
her all about it — she really is so charming." 

" Well, go and tell her a pack of lies ! There's your cap." 

" No, brother, it is not at all proper for you to express your- 
self about her in that manner ; it is the same thing as insulting 
me, I may say — she is so lovely." 

" Well, then, take yourself off to her as quickly as possible." 

" Yes, brother, I am going. Excuse me for not staying; I 
should Ibe heartily glad to do so, but I cannot." And the 
brother-in-law continued to repeat his apologies for a long while 
without perceiving that he had already been seated for some 
time in his britchka, that he had passed through the gates, and 
that the open fields alone were spread around him. We may 
safely conclude from his condition that his wife did not learn 
many particulars with regard to the fair. 

"What a fool!" said Nozdreff, as he stood at the window 
and watched the retreating carriage. " How he goes along ! 
That little side-horse isn't a bad one, though ; I have long 
wanted to get my hands on him. But there's nothing to be done 
with my brother-in-law ; he's o, fetiuk, just simply a fetiuk ! " 

After this they went back to the sitting-room. Porfiriy 
* An insulting name. 



68 DEAD SOULS. 

brought in lights, and Tchitchikoff observed that bis host held 
a pack of cards which had most mysteriously made their way 
into his hands. 

" "Well, my dear fellow ! " said Nozdreff, pressing the cards 
with his fingers, " come, just to while away the time, I'll hold 
a three-hundred-rouble bank," 

But Tchitchikoff pretended not to have heard this remark, for 
as though an important matter had suddenly occured to his 
memory, he said, " Ah ! lest I should forget it, I have a favour 
to ask of you." 

"What is it?" 

" First, give me your word that you will grant it." 

" But what is the favour ? " 

" Come, give me your word." 

" Very well." 

" Your word of honour ? " . 

. " My word of honour." 

" Then here is my request : You surely have several dead 
serfs whose names are not yet struck out of the census 
returns ? " 

"Well, yes. What of that?" 

" Well, make them over to me, in my name." 

" What do you want with them? " 

'' Well, I need them." 

" But what for ? " 

" Well they are — but that's my business ; in short, I want 
them." 

"Come, you certainly have invented some scheme or other. 
What is it? Tell me ? " 

"Invented what scheme? What do j^ou mean? It's im- 
possible to make anything out of such nonsense." 

" But what can you want with them ? " 

" Oh, what a curious fellow you are ; you want to feel every- 
thing with your hand, and even to smell it ! " 

" But why won't you say what they are for ? Look here ; as 
long as you won't tell me, I won't do what you want." 

" But what good will it do you to know ? Well, it's simply 
this — the fancy struck me. But, look here, it is not honour- 
able on your part ; you gave me your word, you know, and now 
you take it back." 

" Well, as you like ; but I won't make the dead serfs over to 
you until you tell me what you want them for " 

" What can I say to him ? " wondered Tchitchikoff; and, after 
a moment's reflection, he declared that he needed the dead 



NOZDREFF. 69 

souls in order to obtain weight in society ; that his landed 
property was not large, so that, until it became more extensive, 
he should like to have a few dead souls. 

" You lie ! you lie ! " said Nozdreff", without permitting him 
to finish. " You are lying, my good fellow! " 

Tchitchikoff himself perceived that his story was not a very 
skilful one, and that his excuse was lame. 

" Well, then, I will tell you plainly," he said, recovering 
himself, " only please do not tell any one. I am thinking of 
marrying ; but you must know that the bride's father and 
mother are very ambitious people. It's a nice affair, truly ; 
I'm sorry I entered into it. They imperatively require the bride- 
groom to o^vn not less than three hundred souls, and as I have 
only a hundred and fifty peasants, that's not enough " 

" Come, you're lying, lying ! " shouted Nozdrefi" again. 

" No, no ! " said Tchitchikoff, " I haven't lied even so much 
as that; " and, with his thumb, he pointed out the smallest 
joint on his little finger. 

" I'll stake my head that you are lying," retorted Nozdrefi". 

" But this is an insult ! Why do you declare like that that 
I am lying ? " 

" Come, now, I certainly know you ; you are a'^reat rascal — >/ 
allow me to tell you so in a friendly way. If I were your 
superior ofiicer, I would have you hanged on the first tree." 

Tchitchikoft" took ofi"ence at this remark. Any expression 
that was in any wise coarse or contrary to decorum proved dis- 
tasteful to him. In fact he did not even like to be treated 
with familiarity under any circumstances, unless it were by 
a very exalted personage indeed. So he was now thoroughly 
ofi'ended. 

"I'd hang you, by heavens I would!" repeated Nozdrefi". 
" I say this to you frankly, not for the purpose of insulting you, 
but simply as a friend." 

" There are limits to everything," said Tchitchikoff" with a 
show of dignity. " If you wish to make such speeches as 
those, take yourself off" to some barracks." And then he added, 
*' If you will not give me your dead serfs, then sell them to 
me." 

" Sell them ! Come, I know you; you are a scamp, and you 
won't give much for them ! " 

"Eh! but you are a strange fellow too! Look here; do 
you prize those dead serfs very highly ? Do you value them 
like diamonds ? " 

"AVell, yes, I do." 



70 DEAD SOULS. 

" As you please. What Jewish instincts you have, my dear 
fellow ! You simply ought to give them to me." 

" Come, now, just to prove that I am not a niggard, I won't 
take anything for them. But buy my stallion, and I will give 
them to you as a bonus." 

"But, pray, what do I want with your stallion?" said 
Tchitchikofl", who was really astounded by this proposition. 

" What ? Why, I paid ten thousand roubles for him, and I 
will sell him to you for four." 

" But of what use is a stallion to me ? I don't keep a 
stud." 

"But, listen; you don't understand me. I will only take 
three thousand roubles from you now, and the other thousand 
you can pay later on." 

" But I have no use for the stallion, God be with him ! " 

" Come, then, buy my chestnut mare." 

" I don't need the mare either." 

" I will only ask you two thousand roubles for the mare and 
the grey horse which you saw in my stable." 

" But I don't want the horses." 

" You can sell them ; you will get twice as much for them at 
the nearest fair." 

"All the more reason why you should sell them youi'self, if 
you are sure you could make twice as much." 

" I know I should ; but I want you to have some profit." 

Tchitchikofl" returned thanks for Nozdreft's friendly inten- 
tions, and flatly declined to purchase either the grey horse or 
the chestnut mare. 

" Well, then, buy a dog. I'll sell you such a couple that on 
seeing them cold chills will run over your skin ! Bnidastayas * 
with whiskers ; their hair stands up like bristles ; the curves of 
their loins are something inconceivable, and their paws are 
round like balls." 

" And what have I to do with dogs ; I am not a sportsman." 

" But I want you to have some dogs. Listen : if you won't 
take a dog, buy my hand-organ. It's a wonderful hand-organ ! 
As I am an honest man, it cost me fifteen hundred roubles. I 
will let you have it for nine hundred." 

" And why should I buy a hand-organ ? I am not a German, 
to drag it along the road and beg for money." 

" But this is not the sort of hand-organ that the Germans use. 
It's a valuble instrument ; examine it closely ; it's all of maho- 
gany. Here, I'll show it to you once more." Here Nozdrefi", 
* A very ugly sort of hunting-dog. 



NOZDREFF. 71 

seizing Tchitchikoff by the hand, began to drag him into another 
room ; and although our hero stamped his feet and protested 
that he akeady knew all about the hand-organ, he was forced 
to listen once more to the tune describing the manner in which 
"Malbrook " (Marlborough) went to the war. 

" If you won't give me any money, then, this is what I will 
do. Listen ! I will let you have the hand-organ and all the 
dead souls I have, and you shall give me your britchka and 
three hundred roubles bonus." 

" Come, that's an idea ! And what am I to travel in ?" 

" I will give you another britchka. Come, let's go to the 
carriage-house, and I will show it to you. You need only have 
it painted over, and it will be a wonder of a britchka.'.' 

" Why, some devil has deprived this fellow of his senses !" 
said Tchitchikoff to himself ; and he resolved, at any cost, to 
get rid of all britchkas, hand-organs, and dogs with inconceiv- 
able cask-shaped ribs and ball-shaped paws. 

" Then it's to be the britchka, the hand-organ, and the dead 
souls all together." 

" No ; I won't have them ! " said Tchitchikoff once more. 

" Why won't you ? " 

" Simply because I won't ; and that's enough." 

" Well, what a fellow you are, to be sure ! I see that it is 
impossible to get on with you like a good friend and comrade 
— that's a fact ! It is evident that you are a double-faced 
man." 

" So I'm a knave, am I ? Well, judge for yourself : why should 
I acquire a thing which is absolutely useless to me ? " 

" Well, please don't mention it. I know you very well, now. 
A thorough knave, truly ! Now, listen ; if you like, we'll have 
a faro bank. I will slake all the dead souls on one card, and 
the hand-organ to boot." 

" Well, settling it by gambling means subjecting one's self to 
uncertainty," said Tchitchikoff; and meantime he cast a glance 
at the cards in Nozdreft''s hands. By the appearance of the 
pack it struck him that these must be prepared cards — oven 
the gilding on the edges seemed suspicious to him. 

Why to uncertainty? " said Nozdreff". " There is no uncer- 
tainty about it ; if luck is only on your side, you can win a 
devil of a lot ! There it is ! Eh, what luck ! " he said, be- 
ginning to deal for the sake of arousing his guest's appetite ; 
" what luck, what luck ! Look here, and here ! Here's that 
confounded card upon which I staked everything ! I felt that 
it would give me over to the Evil One ; and I shut my eyes, 



72 DEAD SOULS. 

and said to myself, ' Devil take you ; you will betray me, you 
cursed thing! " 

While Nozdreff was saying this, Porfiriy brought in a bottle 
of wine. But Tchitchikoflf positively declined either to play or 
to drink. 

" Why won't you play ? " asked Nozdreff. 

" Well, because I am not so disposed. To tell the truth, I 
am not at all fond of gambling," 

"Why not?" 

Tchitchikoff shrugged his shoulders and retorted, "Because 
I'm not." 

" You're a fool, then ! " 

" I can't help it. God made me so." 

" You're simply &,fetiuk ! I used to think you a decent sort 
of a man ; but you don't understand good manners at all. It's 
impossible to talk with you as with a friend : there's no up- 
rightness or sincerity about you ! You're a perfect Sobake- 
vitch — ^.just such another rascal ! " 

" Why are you insulting me ? Am I to blame because I 
don't gamble ? Sell me your dead souls and let us have an end 
of all this nonsense." 

" May the bald devil get you ! I did mean to give them to 
you for nothing, but now you won't get them at all ! I wouldn't 
sell them even if you were to give me three empires. Such a 
deceiver, such a detestable miser you are ! I will have nothing 
to do with you from this time forth. Go, Porfiriy, tell the 
ostler not to give any oats to this man's horses ; let them eat 
hay instead." 

Tchitchikofi" was not in in the least prepared for this last 
decree. 

" It would have been better if you had never presented your- 
self before my eyes at all ! " exclaimed Nozdreff. 

Despite this quarrel, the host and his guest supped together ; 
but on this occasion no wines with seductive names appeared 
upon the table, A single bottle of Cyprus reared its head : it 
was of the sort known as sour {kislyatina) in every respect. 
After supper Nozdreff told Tchitchikoff, as he conducted him 
to an adjoining chamber, where sleeping accommodation was 
prepared for him, " Here's your bed ; but I don't mean to wish 
you good night." 

Tchitchikoff remained in the most unpleasant frame of mind 
after Nozdreff's departure. He was inwardly vexed with him- 
self, and reproached himself with having come to this house, 
and thus wasted his time. He reproached himself still more 



NOZDREFF. 73 

for his indiscretion in discussing a business matter with Nozdrefl', 
which was acting indiscreetly, like a child, like a fool in fact, 
for the matter was not at all of a kind which could be intrusted 
to Nozdreff. 

"Nozdreff is a worthless fellow, who lies, embellishes his 
facts, and is capable of setting afloat the deuce knows what. 
Some scandal will surely arise. It was not prudent to tell him 
that — not prudent at all ! I am a perfect fool ! " added our 
friend to himself. 

He slept very badly that night. Certain small but very 
dauntless insects bit him in an intolerably painful manner, so 
that when he had scratched a whole handful ofi' himself he 
exclaimed, " I wish the devil had taken you, and Nozdreff 
also ! " 

He woke early in the morning. His first act, after putting on 
his dressing-gown and boots, was to cross the yard to the 
stable, and order Selifan to harness the britchka at once. As 
he was returning through the yard he met Nozdretf, who was 
also in his dressing-gown, and had a pipe between his lips. 

Nozdreff greeted him in a friendly way, and inquired how he 
had slept. 

" So-so," replied Tchitchikoff very drily. 

"As for myself, my dear fellow," said Nozdreff, "I had the 
horrors all night, — it's terrible to speak of it ; it seems as 
if a squadron had bivouacked in my mouth. I yelled so ; for, 
just fancy, I dreamed that I was being flogged, ha, ha ! And 
by whom do you suppose ? You'll never guess it. Why, by 
Stafi'-Captain Potzyelueft' and my friend Kuvshinnikoff." 

"Yes," thought Tchitchikoff to himself, "it would be a 
good thing if they would really give you a sound drubbing in 
real life." 

" By Heavens ! it was extremely painful," resumed Nozdreff. 
" I woke up, and, devil take it ! there actually was something 
scratching me ; in fact, it was the fleas. Now, go and dress 
yourself; I will join you immediately. I have only to give 
that rascally steward of mine a good cursing." 

Tchitchikoff went to his room to wash and dress. When he 
emerged into the dining-room after performing his ablutions, 
the tea-things and a bottle of rum were already standing on the 
table. Traces of the dinner and supper of the preceding day 
were still about the room. The broom did not appear to have 
been applied at all, for the floor was strewn with bits of crust, 
and some tobacco-ash still lay on the tablecloth. Nozdreff 
himself, who entered immediately afterwards, had nothing on 



U DEAD SOtJtS. 

besides his dressing-gown, which, being partially open, disclosed 
his bare hairy chest. As he held his tchibouk in his hand and 
sipped his tea, he was a very fine sight indeed for one of those 
painters who object to gentlemen whose hair is too well-brushed 
and curled, or who are too sprucely attired. 

" Well, what do you think about it ? " said Nozdreff after a 
brief silence ; " won't you play for the souls ? " 

" I have already told you, my dear fellow, that I don't play ; 
I will purchase them, if you like," 

" Then I won't sell ; that wouldn't be behaving in a friendly 
manner. I Avon't take money for the deuce knows what. But 
play is another matter. Let's cut the cards at least." 

" I have already said no," 

" And you won't change your mind '? " 

" No ; I will not," 

"Then listen; let us play at draughts: if you win, all the 
dead souls will be yours. For I have a great many who must be 
crossed out of the next census list. Hey, there, Porfiriy, fetch 
the draught-board here ! " 

"It is useless trouble ; I shall not play," said Tchitchikoff, 

" But this is not gambling. There can be no luck or falsify- 
ing in this ; it's all skill. I even warn you in advance that I 
hardly know how to play at all ; so perhaps you will allow me 
something to start with." 

" Well, I'll try it," said Tchitchikoff to himself. " I'll play 
at draughts with him. I used to play the game rather well, 
and it will be difficult for him to indulge in any of his tricks 
in it." 

" So be it," he then observed aloud. " If you like, I will 
play at draughts." 

" The souls shall stand for one hundred roubles." 

" Why so ? It will be enough if they are reckoned at fifty." 

" No, no ! what sort of a stake is fifty roubles ? But it "will 
be better for me to include in the hundred roubles some medium- 
class dog, ar a gold watch-seal." 

" Well, as you like," said Tchitchikoff. 

" How many kings will you give me ? " said Nozdreff. 

" Eh ? Why, none, of course." 

"Let me at least have two moves." 

" No, I won't ; I am a bad player myself." 

" We know what a bad player you are," replied Nozdreff, 
making the first move, 

" It is a very long time since I have had any draughts in my 
hands," said Tchitchikoff, also making a move. 



I 



NoZdReff. '75 

*' We know you, and we know just how badly you play," 
retorted Nozdreti", moving forward another draught, and at the 
same time a third one with the edge of hig sleeve. 

"It is a very long time since I had any draughts in my 
hand," again repeated Tchitchikofl'. "But eh, eh! what's 
that, my good fellow ? Put that back ! " 

"What?" 

" That draught," said Tchitchikoff, and at the same instant 
he caught sight of another almost under his very nose, which 
seemed to have become a king spontaneously. Where it had 
come from, God only knew. "No," said Tchitchikofi", rising 
from the table, " there is absolutely no possibility of playing 
with you ! Things are not managed like that — three pieces 
moved at a time." 

" What do you mean by three ? It was a mistake. One 
moved without my knowing it ; I'll take it back, if you like." 

" And the other — where did it come from ? " 

" Which other ? " 

" This one, which has become a king." 

" The idea ! As if you didn't recollect ! " 

" No, my good fellow; I counted all the moves, and I re- 
member everything. You put it there just now. That's where 
it belongs." 

" What — where's the place ? " said NozdrefF, reddening. " I 
see, my dear fellow, that you are a romancer." 

" No, my good fellow ; it seems that you are the romancer, 
but an unsuccessful one." 

" For whom do you take me ? " asked NozdrefF. " Do you 
mean to say that I am cheating ? " 

" I do not take you for anything, but I will never play with 
you again from this time forth." 

" No ; you can't give it up," said NozdrefF, becoming angry, 
" the game has begun ! " 

" I have a right to leave off, since you don't play in a man- 
ner becoming to an honest man." 

" What ! you lie ! You cannot say that ! " 

" No, my good fellow, you yourself are lying." 

" I did not cheat, and you cannot refuse to play. You must 
finish the game." 

" You cannot make me do so," rejoined Tchitchikoff coolly; 
and, stepping up to the board, he mixed all the draughts to- 
gether. 

Nozdreff fired up at once, and came so near to Tchitchikoff 
that the latter retreated a couple of paces. 



76 DEAD SOULS. 

"I will force you to play! It doesn't matter if you liave 
mixed up the draughts. I remember all the moves. We will 
put them back just as they were." 

" No, my dear fellow; that matter is ended. I won't play 
with you." 

" You won't play ? " 

" You see yourself that it is impossible to play with you." 

" No ; say plainly that you won't play," said Nozdreff, step- 
ping up closer to him. 

"I won't!" replied Tchitchikoff, as he raised both hands 
nearer to his face in case of an emergency, for matters were 
really coming to a crisis. This precaution of his was very well 
timed, for Nozdreff gave a sweep of his arm, and one of our 
hero's fat and pleasant-looking cheeks would have been marked 
with indelible dishonour if, fortunately, he had not parried the 
blow, seized Nozdreff with both hands, and squeezed him powex'- 
fully. 

" Porfiriy ! Pavlushka ! " shouted Nozdreff in a rage, and 
striving to free himself. 

On hearing these words, Tchitchikoff, so as not to let the 
servants be witnesses of any disgraceful scene, and conscious 
at the same time that it was useless to hold Nozdreff, released 
his grasp. At the same moment Porfiriy and Pavlushka, the 
latter a robust young fellow, whom it would have been hard 
to contend against, came in. 

"So you won't finish the game?" asked Nozdreff. "An- 
swer me plainly." 

" It is impossible to finish the game," said Tchitchikoff, and 
he glanced out of the window. He saw his britchka standing 
quite ready, and Selifan seemed to be merely awaiting a sign 
to drive up to the porch. However, there was no possibility 
of getting out of the room ; the two stout peasants stood at the 
door. 

" So you won't finish the game ? " repeated Nozdreff, with 
his face burning as if it were on fire. 

"If you had played as befits an honest man, I would have 
gone on ; but now I cannot." 

" Ah ! so you cannot, you rascal ! When you saw that you 
couldn't have it all your own way, you threw it up. Thrash 
him ! " shrieked Nozdreff, quite beside himself, and turning to 
Porfiriy and Pavlushka, while he himself firmly grasped his 
cherry-wood tchibouk. Tchitchikoff turned as pale as a sheet. 
He tried to say something, but felt that his lips moved without 
producing a sound. " Thrash him ! " screamed Nozdreff, rush- 



NOZDREFF. 77 

ing forward with his pipe-stem, and covered with perspiration, 
as though he had attacked an impregnable fortress. *' Thrash 
him ! " he yelled, in the same voice with which some despairing 
lieutenant, at the moment of a great assault, shouts " Forward, 
children ! " to his men. However, if NozdretF imagined himself 
to be some desperately enthusiastic officer attacking a fortress, 
the stronghold upon which he was marching did not in the least 
resemble an impregnable one. On the contrary, Tchitchikoff 
experienced such terror that his heart seemed to sink to his 
heels. The chair with which he had contemplated defending 
himself had already been torn from his hands by the serfs ; 
already, with his eyes half shut, and feeling more dead than 
alive, he prepared to take a taste of his host's Circassian tchibouk, 
and no one knows what would have become of him, had not 
fate been graciously pleased to save his ribs, his shoulders, and 
his hind- quarters. All of a sudden, and in the most unexpected 
manner, as though coming from the clouds, the quivering jingle 
of bells became audible, and then the rumbling of the wheels 
of a telyega driving up to the porch resounded, the heavy snort- 
ing and oppressed breathing of the heated horses reverberating 
in the very room. They all involuntarily glanced out of the 
window. Someone with a moustache, in a military-looking 
surtout, descended from the telyega. After inquiring in the 
ante-room, he entered while Tchitchikoff was still quaking with 
alarm, being, indeed, in the most pitiable situation in which 
mortal ever found himself. 

" Allow me to inquire which of you gentlemen is Mr. Noz- 
dreff," said the stranger, looking with some surprise both at 
Nozdreff himself, who was standing, tchibouk in hand, and at 
Tchitchikoff, who seemed dismayed. 

" Allow me to inquire, first of all, to whom I have the 
honour of speaking," said Nozdreff, stepping up closer to the 
stranger. 

" The captain-ispravnik." '■'•'■ 

" And what do you want, pray ? " 

" I -have come to acquaint you with the fact that you will 
remain under arrest until your case is decided." 

" What nonsense ! What case ? " asked Nozdreff. 

"You have been mixed up in a scandalous affair — as you 
know very well. While in a state of intoxication you and some 
companions grossly insulted landowner Maximoff and beat 
him." 

" You he ! I never yet set eyes on landowner Maximoff'." 
* The head of the rural police. 



78 DEAD SOULS. 

" My dear sir, permit me to inform you that I am an officer ; 
you can reply like that to your servants, but not to me." 

Hereupon Tchitchikotf, without waiting to hear what retort 
Nozdreff would make, hastily snatched up his cap and slipped 
past the captain-ispravnik on to the steps, seated himself in his 
britchka, and ordered Selifan to drive off, urging his horses to 
the top of their speed. 



CHAPTER V. 

SOBAKEVITCn. 



OuK hero was thoroughly frightened. Although his Britchka 
was rolling along at full speed, and Nozdreff's village had long 
since disappeared from sight behind the meadows, the declivi- 
ties, and hillocks, he still kept looking behind him in terror, as 
though he expected that a pursuing party would suddenly make 
its appearance. He breathed with difficulty, and when he laid 
his hand upon his heart, he found that it was going thump, 
thump, like a woodcock in a cage. " Ah, what a fright he gave 
me! Only think of it!" Then all sorts of forcible and un- 
pleasant wishes were heaped upon Nozdreff : some ugly words 
even occurred in the course of all this. Tchitchikoff was a 
Russian, and in a rage. Moreover, it was by no means a matter 
for jest. " Say what you like," he said to himself, "if that 
captain-ispravnik had not come in, I might never have looked 
upon the light of God again. I should have disappeared like a 
bubble in the water, without leaving a trace, without any pos- 
terity, without having acquired for my future children any pro- 
perty or position or even an honourable name." Our hero, it 
will be observed, was very solicitous about his descendants. 

" He's a brute, that Nozdreff," thought Selifan to himself. 
" I never saw such a fellow before. I'd like to spit on him ! 
It's all well enough not to give a man anything to eat, but you 
ought to feed a horse properly ; a horse loves oats ; that's his 
fodder ; what bread and meat are for us, so oats are for him ; 
his provisions." 

The horses, also, apparently, entertained an unfavourable 
opinion of Nozdreff; the piebald one especially. Although the 
worst oats always fell to his share, and although Selifan never 



SOBAKEVITCH. 79 

poured auy into his manger without saying, " you rascal ! " 
still he usually did have some oats, and not plain hay ; but at 
Nozdrefif 's he had been given hay alone, and that was not proper. 
So, like everyone else, he was far from being content. 

The cogitations of man and beast alike were suddenly inter- 
rupted in a most unexpected manner. The horses, Tchitchikofl", 
and Selifan abruptly came to themselves when a calash drawn 
by six horses bore down upon them. Almost directly afterwards 
there rang out the frightened cries of two ladies seated in the 
calash, and the curses and threats of their coachman, who bawled 
out "0, you rascal ! I shouted to you at the top of my voice, 
* Turn to the right, you jack-a-napes ! ' Are you drunk ? " 

Selifan was conscious of his neglect of duty ; but, as a Russian 
never likes to acknowledge himself in the Avrong before another, 
he immediately drew himself up, and retorted, " And what were 
you dashing along in that way for ? Did you leave your eyes 
in pawn in some wine-shop ? " Then he began to back the 
britchka, trying by this means to free it from the other equi- 
page, but all in vain ; everything was entangled. The ladies in 
the calash looked on at all this with alarm depicted on their 
countenances. One of them was old, and the other quite 
young, — she was a girl of sixteen, with her golden hair neatly 
and prettily wound about her small head. The lovely oval of 
her face was like that of a fresh egg, and it shone with a certain 
transparent whiteness, also like an egg when it is held against 
the light in the sun-browned hands of the housekeeper examin- 
ing it. The gui's delicate ears also transmitted a warm, rosy 
light ; and, in addition to all this, the terror expressed by her 
parted lips and the tears in her eyes — in fact, everything made 
her so charming that our hero gazed at her for several minutes 
without paying the slightest heed to the confusion which had 
arisen between the horses and the coachmen. 

" Get out of the way, you Nizhegorod crow ! " shouted the 
strange driver. Selifan drew back his reins, the strange coach- 
man did the same, the horses retreated a little, and then again 
came into collision, and kicked over the traces. Hereupon the 
piebald horse was so delighted at the idea of making some new 
acquaintances, that ho absolutely refused to back, but laying 
his nose upon the neck of a new-found friend, seemed to be 
whispering something into his ear — some horrible nonsense, 
probably, for the horse of the calash kept shaking his ears 
incessantly. 

However, some moujiks from the village, which, happily, was 
near by, finally assembled on the scene of disorder. Such a, 




80 DEAD SOULS. 

spectacle is a boon to the moujik, just as a newspaper or a club 
is to a German, so a throng of peasants soon collected about 
the equipages, only the old women and little children being left 
in the village. The traces were unhitched ; a few blows dealt 
upon the piebald's nose made him spring back ; in a word, the 
teams were disentangled and led apart. But whether they 
were vexed at being separated from their newly-found friends, 
or were simply obstinate, at all events, whip them as the coach- 
men would, they refused to stir, standing stockstill as though 
rooted to the spot. 

The sympathy of the peasants became acute. They vied with 
one another in oifering advice. " Go, Andriushka," said one of 
them, " lead that side-horse on the right, and let uncle Mityai 
mount the shaft-horse. Get on, uncle Mityai." Long, gaunt 
Mityai, a fellow with a red beard, climbed upon the shaft-horse, 
where he looked like the village bell-tower, or, rather, like a 
well-pole, with which water is drawn from a well. The coach- 
man lashed his horses, but nothing came of it : uncle Mityai 
rendered no assistance. " Stop, stop ! " then shouted the pea- 
sants. " Get on the side-horse, uncle Mityai, and let uncle 
Minj'ai mount the shaft-horse." Uncle Minyai, a broad-shoul- 
dered moujik, with a beard as black as pitch, and a belly like 
the gigantic samovar in which sbiten is prepared for a large 
party of frozen market folks, willingly mounted the shaft-horse, 
which almost fell to the earth beneath his weight. " Now 
matters will go better," cried the peasants. " Warm him up, 
warm him up ! Give a taste of the whip to that dun horse, 
who has planted his legs obstinately apart, like a koramora." * 

But perceiving that matters did not improve, and that the 
warming up did no good, uncle Mityai and uncle Minj-ai both 
mounted the shaft-horse, and Andriushka got upon the side one. 
Finally the coachman, losing patience, made both uncle Mityai 
and uncle Minyai dismount ; and he did right, for the horses 
were steaming as though they had journeyed a whole stage at 
full speed without drawing breath. He allowed them to rest 
for a moment, after which they started off of their own accord. 
While this was going on Tchitchikoff stared with great attention 
at the young stranger in the calash. He made several attempts 
to address her, but for some reason or other he was unsuccess- 
ful. At last the ladies departed ; the girl's pretty head, delicate 
features, and slender form disappeared, somewhat like a vision ; 

* A large, long gnat, which when it alights on a waU may be ap- 
proached and easily seized by the legs. 



! 



"t:^ 



SOBAKEVITCH. 81 

and there only remained — the road, the britchka, the troika of 
horses so well known to the reader, SeUfan, Tchitchikoff, and 
the low-lying, blank-looking fields around. 

As Selifan drove off again, Tchitchikoff began to think about 
the young girl in the calash. " She was a pretty little thing," 
said he, opening his snuffbox, and taking a pinch of snuff. 
" She was nicely dressed too," he added. " So I suppose that 
she is well off, I wonder what sort of a man her father is. Is 
he a wealthy landowner of respectable morals, or simply a man 
with money acquired in the public service ? This girl might 
have a dowry of two hundred thousand roubles or so, and she 
would be a very, very appetizing little morsel. Such a dowry 
would be quite a fortune to many a respectable man." 

The snug little sum of two hundred thousand roubles appeared 
to his mind in such fascinating colours, that he even began to 
feel vexed with himself for not having inquired who the travellers 
were during the stoppage which had followed upon the accident. 
However, the appearance of Sobakevitch's village speedily 
changed his thoughts, and caused them to turn to the matter 
he had in hand. 

The village struck him as a tolerably large one ; to right and 
left of it, like two wings, one dark, the other light, stretched 
two woods, one of birch trees and the other of pines ; in the 
centre rose up a wooden house, with a mezzanine storey, a red 
roof, and walls painted a dull gray — it was a house of the sort 
usually erected among us on military settlements and by Ger- 
man colonists. It was apparent also that, during its construc- 
tion, the architect had had to carry on a constant struggle with 
the owner's tastes. This architect had been a pedant, and had 
desired symmetry, but the owner had wanted comfort, and had 
sacrificed all the Avindows on one side of the house so as to avoid 
draughts. And, moreover, the verandah was by no means in 
the middle of the frontage, for the owner had given orders to 
omit one column on one side, so that there were only three 
columns instead of four, as had been originally provided for. 
The yard was surrounded by palings of unusual strength and 
thickness, and the owner evidently paid great attention to 
the question of durability. Huge, untrimmed beams, calculated 
to last for centuries, had been employed in building the stables, 
the carriage-house, and the kitchen. The moujiks' huts in the 
village were also wonderfully well put together ; there were no 
brick walls, no carvings or other adornments, but everything 
was solid and in proper condition. In short, everything at 



82 DEAD SOULS. 

which Tchitchikoff gazed was substantial, and firm, but had an 
unprepossessing look. 

As he drove up to the porch, he caught sight of two people, 
who looked out of one of the windows at almost the same 
moment, — a woman with a cap on her head, and with a face as 
long and narrow as a cucumber ; and a man whose countenance 
was as round as the Moldavian pumpkins called calabashes, 
with which, in Russia, balalaikas ■'- are made, — those light, two- 
stringed instruments, the ornament and solace of the susceptible 
youth of twenty, who walks along in his dandified way, winking 
at the white-bosomed, white-necked maidens who have assem- 
bled to listen to his soft music. After taking a peep out of the 
window, both faces disappeared at the same moment. A lackey 
in a gray jacket, with a tall blue collar, made his appearance 
upon the steps, and led Tchitchikoff into the vestibule, where 
Sobakevitch himself came to meet him. On catching sight of 
his visitor, he said abruptly, " Pray enter," and led him inside 
the house. 

When they had entered the drawing-room, Sobakevitch pointed 
to an arm-chair, and said, " Pray be seated." Then Tchitchikofi", 
as he seated himself, glanced at the walls, and at the pictures 
which were hanging on them. These pictures were portraits of 
young men, Greek military leaders, portrayed at full length. 
At the window hung a cage, out of which peeped a dark-brown 
thrush with white spots, which, strange as it may seem, bore a 
striking resemblance to its master. The host and his guest had 
not been together two minutes, when the door of the drawing- 
room opened, and the hostess came in, — a tall lady in a cap 
with ribbons, which had been dyed with some home-made dye. 
She entered in stately fashion, holding her head as erect as a 
palm-tree holds its crest. 

" This is my Feodulia Ivanovna," said Sobakevitch. Tchit- 
chikofi" approached, and kissed the hand which she almost shoved 
against his lips, and this afi'orded him an opportunity of observing 
that her hand had been washed in salt water in which some 
cucumbers had been kept. This is said to be very good for the 
skin. " Let me present this gentleman to you, my love," con- 
tinued Sobakevitch: "Pavel Ivanovitch Tchitchikofi'! I had 
the honour of making his acquaintance at the houses of the 
governor and the chief of police." 

Feodulia Ivanovna invited our hero to seat himself, making a 
movement with her head similar to those made by actresses 

* A primitive kind of guitar. 



SOBAKEVITCH. 83 

when they are impersonating queens. Then she seated herself 
on the sofa, covered her shoulders with her merino kerchief, and 
did not move so much as an eye or an eyebrow. 

Tchitchikoff again raised his eyes to the walls, and again 
beheld the Greek heroes and the thrush in the cage. " We 
were speaking of you at the presiding judge's — Ivan Grigore- 
vitch's — on Friday evening last," he said at last, perceiving 
that Sobakevitch and his wife were not disposed to begin 
the conversation. " We passed the time very pleasantly 
there. ' 

" Yes : I was not at the president's on that occasion," replied 
Sobakevitch. 

" He is a very fine man." 

" Who ? " asked Sobakevitch, looking at the stove in the 
corner. 

" The president of the court." 

"Well, perhaps he strikes you that way; but in reality the 
world has never produced such another fool." 

Tchitchikofi" was rather taken aback by this sharp remark ; 
but recovering himself, he went on, "Of course, no man is 
exempt from failings ; but the governor now — what a fine man 
he is ! " 

" The governor a fine man ? " 

"Yes : is he not ? " 

" Why, he's the greatest robber in the world ! " 

" What ! the^governor a robber ? " said Tchitchikofi*, and he 
could not in the least understand how the governor came to be 
numbered among robbers. " I must confess that I never should 
have thought such a thing," he continued. " Permit me to 
remark, however, that his behaviour does not correspond with 
anything of the sort : on the contrary, there is even a kindli- 
ness about him." Here our hero drew out, as a proof, a purse 
which the governor had embroidered with his own hands and 
given him, and then he spoke in terms of praise mth regard to 
the suave expression of his excellency's countenance. 

" But his face is that of a highwayman," said Sobakevitch. 
" Only give him a knife, and let him loose on the highway, and 
he'll cut your throat for a copeck, that he will ! He and the 
vice-governor — why they're Gog and Magog ! " 

" Sobakevitch is evidently not on good terms with them," 
thought Tchitchikofi". " Shall I talk to him about the chief of 
police ? He seemed to be a friend of his — However, that's 
nothing to me," he added aloud. " I must acknowledge that 
the chief of police pleases me most of all. What a fine, open 



84 DEAD SOULS. 

upright character he has ! The simplicity of his heart is visible 
on his face." 

"He's a rascal!" said Sobakevitch with the greatest cool- 
ness. " He betrays and deceives us, and yet he dines with us ! 
I know them all, and they are all rascals ; the whole town is 
just the same : scoundrel sits by scoundrel, and rails against 
othev scoundrels. They are all betrayers of Christ. There's 
only one honest man there — the procurator ; and he's a pig, if 
the truth must be told ! " 

After these laudatory remarks, Tchitchikoff perceived that 
there was no use in mentioning the other officials ; and he now 
recalled the fact that Sobakevitch was not fond of speaking well 
of any one. 

" Well, my love, shall we have some dinner ? " said Sobake- 
vitch' s wife to her husband. 

"Pray let us have it!" replied Sobakevitch. Thereupon, 
approaching the table, the host and his guest drank a glass of 
vodka apiece, as was fitting, tasted some zakuska, as all people 
do through all the length and breadth of Russia, including 
various salted viands and other appetizing dishes, and then 
repaired to the dining-room: before them, like a swimming 
goose, went the hostess. 

The small table was set for four. At the fourth place there 
speedily appeared — it is difiicult to say precisely what ; whether 
a lady or a girl, a relative, a housekeeper, or simply someone 
who was living in the house, — at all events, a somebody without 
a cap, about thirty years old, in a gown of motley hues. 

" The cabbage soup is very good to-day, my soul," said 
Sobakevitch, after sipping his soup, and taking on his plate a 
huge supply of nyani, a dish which consists of breast of mutton 
stuffed with buckwheat groats, brains, and trotters. " Such 
nyani as this," he added, turning to Tchitchikoff", "cannot be 
got in town : the Devil knows what they give you there ! " 

" But the governor's table wasn't bad," said Tchitchikoff". 

"But do you know what all his stuff is made of? You 
wouldn't eat it if you did know." 

" I do not know how it is prepared, and I am no judge of 
that ; but the pork cutlets and the boiled fish were excellent." 

" So it seemed to you. But I know what they buy at the 
market. That rascal of a cook, who has taken lessons of a 
Frenchman, buys a cat, skins it, and serves it up on the table 
instead of a hare." 

"Faugh! what unpleasant things you say!" said Sobake- 
vitch's wife. 



SOBAKEVITCH. 85 

" What of it, my love? That's the way they manage things. 
I am not to blame if they do so. Every superfluous thing, 
which our Akulka throws — if I may be allowed to mention it 
— into the swill-tub, they put in their soup — yes, in their soup ! 
And there you have the truth ! " 

" You are always telling that sort of thing at table," returned 
Sobakevitch's wife again. 

" What of it, my soul?" said Sobakevitch: "if I did that 
myself — but I tell you to your face, that I wouldn't eat filth. 
If you were even to smother a frog in sugar, I wouldn't put him 
in my mouth, and I won't touch oysters either : I know what 
an oyster is like. Take some mutton," he continued, turning to 
Tchitchikoff ; "this is breast of mutton with stuffing. It's 
none of those fricassees, such as are made in gentlemen's kit- 
chens from meat which has been flung round in the market for 
four days ! It is the German and French doctors who invented 
all that. I'd like to hang them all for it ! They have invented 
dieting, too — which is curing people by hunger. Because they 
have weak natures themselves they fancy that they know 
how to doctor Russian stomachs! No, all that isn't the right 

thing by any means ; it's all humbug ; it's all " Here 

Sobakevitch nodded his head very angrily. "Ah! they are 
always talking about civilization, civilization ; and their civiliza- 
tion is — faugh ! I wanted to use another word, but it would 
have been indecent at table. I don't have anything of that sort 
in my house. When I have pork, I send the whole pig to 
table ; when I have mutton, I bring on the whole sheep ; or 
goose, and then we have the whole goose ! I'd rather have 
only two dishes, and eat as my fancy dictates." Sobakevitch 
confirmed his words by action : he piled half the breast of mut- 
ton upon his plate, ate all the meat, gnawed the bones, and 
sucked them to the very last one. 

"Yes," thought Tchitchikofl', "that man's thick lips do not 
belie him." 

" I don't have things," now said Sobakevitch, wiping his 
hands on his napkin, " I don't manage things here, as a certain 
Pliushkin manages them at his house : he owns eight hundred 
souls, and yet he lives and dines worse than my shepherd." 

" W^ho is this Pliushkin ? " asked Tchitchikofl'. 

" A scoundrel ! " replied Sobakevitch. "He's such a miser 
as you can hardly conceive of. Prisoners live better in jail 
than he does: all his serfs have died, one after another, of 
hunger." 

" lieally," interposed Tchitchikofl', with interest. " And do 



86 DEAD SOULS. 

you mean to say that his people actually die off in great 
numbers '? " 

" They die like flies." 

" Like flies ! Is it possible ? But allow me to ask you, how 
far away from you does he live ? " 

" Five versts." 

"Five versts!" exclaimed Tchitchikoff: and he was even 
conscious of a slightly accelerated action of the heart. " And 
when you emerge from your gates, is it towards the right, or 
the left ? " 

"I should advise you not to think of going to that dog's ! " 
said Sobakevitch."' " It is more excusable for a man to go to 
some improper place than to his house." 

" Oh ! I was not inquiring with any special object, but merely 
because I take an interest in knowing about all sorts of places," 
replied Tchitchikofi". 

After the breast of mutton came some votrus1ika,\ each of 
which was bigger than a plate ; then a turkey, as large as a calf, 
stuffed with all sorts of good things — eggs, rice, liver, and 
heaven knows what all ; all placed in a ball inside the bird. 
This ended the dinner : but when they rose from the table, 
Tchitchikoff felt that he weighed a whole pood| more than usual. 
They went into the drawing-room, where a dish of preserves 
was already awaiting them — neither pears nor plums, however, 
nor indeed any special sort of fruit — and which, by the way, 
neither the host nor the guest touched. The hostess went out 
in order to procure some other little dainties, and taking advan- 
tage of her absence, Tchitchikoff turned to Sobakevitch, who 
was leaning back in an arm-chair, feeling barely capable of 
grunting after such a heavy meal, and merely emitting certain 
unintelligible sounds, while he crossed himself and covered his 
face every now and then with his hands. Tchitchikoff turned to 
him with these words : "I should like to speak with you on a 
matter of business." 

" Here are some more preserves," at this moment said the 
hostess, returning with a small plate ; " they are a good sort, 
sweetened with honey." 

" We'll attend to that later on," said Sobakevitch. " Go to 
your room now : Pavel Ivanovitch and I are going to take off 
our coats, and have a little rest." 

The hostess expressed her desire to send for some feather- 

* Sobakevitch' s own name is a derivative of sobaka, a dog. 
t Pancakes with curds. 
X Forty pounds. 



SOBAKEVITCH. 87 

beds and pillows ; but her husband said, " We want nothing of 
that; we will rest in the arm-chairs." So Mrs. Sobakevitch 
withdrew. 

Sobakevitch then bent his head slightly, preparatory to hear- 
ing what the business might be. Tchitchikoff began in a very 
distant way, touched upon the Russian Empire in general, and 
expressed himself in very laudatory terms with regard to its 
extent, saying that even the ancient Roman Empire had not been 
so great, and that strangers rightly admired Muscovy. Sobake- 
vitch listened to all this, and nodded, whereupon our hero added 
that according to the existing laws of the empire, souls (serfs) 
set down in the census lists, although they might have completed 
their earthly career, were, nevertheless, still taxed just like the 
living ones, pending the preparation of a new census list, 
although, as an offset to that, the newly born were not 
entered on the registers. Sobakevitch still listened and nodded, 
and then Tchitchikoff added that despite all the justice of these 
regulations, they were burdensome for some proprietors, since 
they entailed upon them the necessity of paying taxes for dead 
as well as for live serfs. He, Tchitchikoff, feeling great personal 
regard for his friend Sobakevitch, was, however, prepared to 
assume a portion of such really heavy obligations. With regard 
to this principal point, our hero expressed himself very cau- 
tiously : he made no dii'ect mention of dead souls, but merely 
alluded to them as non-existent individuals. 

Sobakevitch listened to all the talk as before, with his head 
bent and hardly any expression whatever upon his countenance. 
It seemed as though there were no soul at all in his body, or 
that if there were one belonging to it, it was not in the place 
where it should have been. As in the case of Koshtchei the 
Deathless,* it was no doubt somewhere beyond the mountains. 

" Well ? " said Tchitchikoff, pausing at last and awaiting a 
reply, not without some emotion. 

" You want some dead souls, eh ? " simply inquired Sobake- 
vitch, without showing the slightest surprise, and as if the ques- 
tion were one of selling grain or faggots. 

" Yes," replied Tchitchikoff, and he again softened the ex- 
pression by adding, " non-existent persons." 

" They can be found : why not ? " said Sobakevitch. 

" And if there are any in your village, then, no doubt you — 
would be glad to get rid of them ? " 

" I am ready to sell them, if you like," said Sobakevitch, 

• A character in Eussian folk-lore. 



88 DEAD SOULS. 

raising his head a little, and recognising the fact that this would- 
be purchaser must in all probability find some profit in them — 
though what it was he could hardly tell. 

"Deuce take it ! " said Tchitchikofi" to himself; " this fellow 
talks of selling before I have barely given a hint." And then he 
remarked aloud, " And, at what price, for instance ? though, to 
be sure, for such things as that, any discussion of price is rather 
strange." 

" Well, I will not demand too much of you : let us say a 
hundred roubles a head," replied Sobakevitch. 

"A hundred ! " exclaimed Tchitchikoflf, dropping his jaw, and 
staring at his friend with all his eyes, not knowing whether he 
had heard him correctly, or whether his tongue, which was 
heavy by nature, had not turned the wrong way, and let slip 
one word instead of another. 

" What, is that too high for you ? " ejaculated Sobakevitch ; 
and he added, "Well, what would be your price ? " 

" My price ! We have probably made some mistake, or else 
we don't understand each other, and have forgotten the main 
point of this business. For my part, I place my hand on my 
heart, and suggest that eighty copecks apiece would be a very 
handsome sum." 

" The idea ! eighty copecks ! " 

" Well, in my judgment, it is impossible to offer more." 

"But I am not selling shoes." 

" Well, you must acknowledge yourself that you are not sell- 
ing men either," 

' "And so you think that you have found a fool, who will sell 
you a duly registered soul for eighty copecks ? " 

" But permit me. Surely those serfs died long ago, and all 
that remains of them is merely a name, barely perceptible to the 
senses. However, not to enter into further discussion on this 
point, I will give you a rouble and a half, if you like, but I 
cannot give more." 

" You ought to be ashamed to mention such a sum ! You 
are haggling: state a real price." 

" I cannot go beyond that, Mikhail Semenovitch, believe me; 
on my conscience, I cannot: what cannot be done cannot be," 
said TchitchikoflT, However, he added another half-rouble. 

"Now, why are you so niggardly?" said Sobakevitch: 
" really that isn't dear ! Some other scoundrel will deceive 
you and sell you rubbish, and not real dead souls ; but mine are 
as sound as nuts, picked articles : there's no better artisan than a 
healthy moujik. Just consider the matter : here's Mikhyeeff, 



SOBAKEVITCH. 89 

the carriage-builder ! Why, no better equipages are made than 
those he builds. And his work's not like Moscow work, made 
merely to last an hour ; such durability ! And he pads his 
carriages, and varnishes them so beautifully too ! " 

Tchitchikoff opened his mouth to remarK that Mikhyeeff had 
left the world a long while ago : but Sobakevitch had warmed 
up to his subject, as the saying runs, and he went on speaking 
as follows : — 

"And Probka Stepan, the carpenter! I'll wager my head 
that you won't find another such moujik anywhere. What a 
stout fellow he was, to be sure ! God knows what the autho- 
rities would have given to have him serve in the Guards : he 
was three arshins and a vershok in height."* 

Again Tchitchikofi' felt inclined to remark that Probka had not 
been in the world for a long time ; but Sobakevitch had evi- 
dently got well started, and such a flood of speech poured forth 
from his mouth that our friend was constrained to listen. 

" Milushkin, the brickmaker, too ; he could set up an oven in 
any house whatever. Maksim Telyatnikofi", the cobbler : what 
ever he pricked mth his awl became a boot at once ; and as for 
his boots, they were wonderful. Besides which he was always 
as sober as a judge. And Yeremei Sorokoplekhin ! Now that 
moujik was worth a fortune ; he traded at Moscow, and he 
alone paid obrok f to the amount of five hundred roubles a 
year. What a set of people to be sure ! Mine are not at all- 
the sort of dead souls that some Pliushkin or other would sell 
you." 

" But permit me," said Tchitchikoff at last, astounded by such 
a copious flood of words, to which there was apparently no end ; 
" why do you enumerate all these men's qualities ? Surely, that 
does not concern us now, since they are all dead. A dead body 
is only good to prop up a fence with, says the proverb." 

"Yes, certainly, they are dead," said Sobakevitch, as though 
considering the subject, and recalling the fact that they really 
were defunct; and then he added, "Well, what's the use of 
talking about these men, although they are still reckoned as 
alive ? What sort of men are those who are still alive ? Flies, 
and not men at all ! " 

" But they do still exist, whereas the dead ones are merely 
visionary." 

* An arshin is 28 inches; a rershok is If inch: consequently Probka 
[cork) Stepan was 7 feet 1| inch high. 

t Obrok, a tax which was paid in lieu of personal labour on the estate, 
by serfs who were allowed to exercise their callings in the towns. 



90 Dead souls. 

" Well, no, they are not visionary. I tell you that you won't 
even find any such men as Mikhyeeff : such a machinist as he 
was will never set foot in this room again. No, that's no vision. 
And there was more strength in his big shoulders than in any 
horse. Where, I should like to know, could you find such a 
vision ? " 

" Well, I cannot give more than two roubles apiece," said 
Tchitchikoff". 

"No, no ; but in order that you may not pretend that I am 
asking a high price, and won't make you any concessions, I will 
say seventy-five roubles a soul : only it must be in bank-notes 
— and that's really only for acquaintance' sake." 

"Well, what can he think? " said Tchitchikoff to himself: 
"does he take me for a fool?" and then he added aloud, 
" Keally, you surprise me ; there seems to be some theatrical 
performance or comedy going on between us : otherwise I can- 
not understand it. You seem to be a sensible man. You have 
all the marks of possessing a cultivated mind. Surely these are 
paltry goods — fu ! fu ! What are they worth ? What are they 
good for ? " 

" Well, but you are buying them : they must be of some use 
to you." 

Here Tchitchikoff bit his lips, and felt at a loss for an answer. 
He began to talk about some family affairs, but Sobakevitch 
simply replied : — 

" I do not require to know what your connections are : I do 
not meddle in family matters, that is your own affair. You 
need the souls, and I will sell them to you, and perhaps you 
will regret not having bought them. 

" Two roubles," said Tchitchikoff. 

" So you are like Yakov's magpie, who repeated the same 
thing on every occasion, as the proverb says. Give something 
like what they are worth." 

" Well, may the deuce take him ! " said Tchitchikoff to him- 
self. " I'll add half a rouble, as a sop ! — I will add half a rouble, 
if you like." 

" Well, and if you like, I'll say my last word to you : fifty 
roubles. Truly, it's a loss to me, and you can't purchase such 
fine people anywhere so cheap ! " 

" What a hard-headed beast ! " said Tchitchikoff to himself; 
and then he continued aloud with some vexation, " Yes : what's 
the use of discussing it after all, just as though it were a 
serious affair, when I can get them elsewhere, for nothing, too. 
So far every one has gladly handed them over to me, simply for 



SOBAKEVITCH. 91 

the sake of getting rid of them as speedily as possible. The man 
who holds on to them and pays taxes on them is a fool ! " 

"But do you know," replied Sobakevitch, " that this sort of 
purchase — I say this strictly between ourselves, and out of 
friendship — is not always legal, and if I were to report it, or if 
any one else were to do so, the party concerned would never 
have any credit in the matter of contracts, or if he wished to 
enter into any profitable connections ? " 

"So that's what you are aiming at, you sly scoundrel!" 
thought Tchitchikoflf, and he immediately remarked with the 
most nonchalant air, "As you please. I am buying them, not 
from any necessity, as you imagine, but because my own views 
incline me to do so. If you won't take two roubles and a half, 
then good-day to you." 

" I can't put him out : he won't give way," thought Sobake- 
vitch. " Well, God be with you ! give me thirty, and take 
them." 

"No; I see that you do not wish to sell them, so farewell." 

" Permit me ! permit me ! " said Sobakevitch, holding Tchit- 
chikoffs hand, and treading on his foot, for our hero had for- 
gotten to guard himself; realising this, the host gave a hiss, 
and then jumped upon our friend's other foot. 

"I beg your pardon!" he said, "I seem to have incon- 
venienced you. Please to sit down here : pray do ! " Then 
he seated Tchitchikofi" in the chair, rather skilfully than other- 
wise, like a bear who has been tamed, and who knows how to 
twirl himself about, and to perform tricks when asked, " Show 
us how women bathe, Misha ! " or, " How do little children 
steal peas, Misha ? " 

" Really, I am wasting time : I must make haste," replied our 
hero." 

" Sit still a little minute, and I will say something presently 
which will please you." Here Sobakevitch moved nearer to 
him, and said softly in his ear, as though it were a secret, " Will 
you give — a corner ? "'■' 

" That is to say, twenty-five roubles ? Ni, ni, ni ! I won't 
give even the quarter of a corner : I won't add a copeck more I " 

Sobakevitch now said nothing : Tchitchikoflf also held his 
peace. The Greek heroes, with their aquiline noses, gazed down 
from the wall upon this barter, with great attention. 

" What is your final price ? " asked Sobakevitch at last. 

" Two and a half." 

* In card-playing, one-fourth of the stake, which is indicated by turn- 
ing down the corner of the card. 



92 DEAD SOULS. 

" Keally, a human soul is the same to you as boiled beet- 
root. Won't you give three roubles ? " 

" I cannot." 

" Well, there's nothing to be done with you : have it as you 
like. It's a loss to me, but I have a dog's nature : I cannot 
refrain from doing my neighbour a kindness. I suppose I shall 
have to prepare a deed of sale, so that all may be in proper 
form ? " 

" Of course." 

" Well, then, here's another point : I shall have to go to 
town." 

Thus the transaction was completed. They both decided to 
visit the town on the following day and draw up the deed of sale. 
Tchitchikoflf then asked for a list of the peasants. Sobakevitch 
readily agreed to give one, and immediately stepped up to his 
desk and began to write down the list, not only giving the 
serfs' names, but duly indicating their admirable qualities. 

" The list is ready at last," he eventually said, turning round. 

"Ready? Please bring it here." Tchitchikoff ran it over, 
and was amazed by its accuracy and punctiliousness. Not only 
were the professions circumstantially described, the names, ages, 
and conditions of the various serfs, but on the margins there 
were notes respecting their behaviour and sobriety ; in a word, 
it was a pleasure to look at the list. 

" Now, please to give me the earnest-money," said Sobake- 
vitch. 

"Why should you receive earneat-money ? You will receive 
all the money at once, in town." 

" Well, you know that earnest-money is customary," rejoined 
Sobakevitch. 

" I do not know how I can give you any, for I have brought 
no money with me. Yes, here are ten roubles." 

" Ten roubles, indeed ! Give me fifty at least ! " 

Tchitchikoff again denied that he had any money with him ; 
but Sobakevitch asserted so positively that he must have some, 
that he drew out another bank-note, saying, " Here are fifteen 
more, if you like, and that will make twenty-five. Only please 
to hand me a receipt." 

" What do you want with a receipt? " 

" It is always better to have a receipt, you know. Circum- 
stances may change — all sorts of things may happen." 

" Very good : give me the money, then." 

" But why give you the money ? Here it is in my hand : as 
soon as you have written the receipt, you shall have it." 



SOBAKEVITCH. 93 

" But, pray, how am I to write out a receipt ? I must see the 
money first." 

Tchitchijiofi' relinquished the notes he held to Sobakevitch, 
who, approaching the table, and covering them with his left 
band, wrote upon a scrap of paper that he had received twenty- 
five roubles in imperial bank-notes, as earnest-money for various 
serfs he had sold. After writing the receipt he looked over the 
notes again. 

" The notes are rather old," he remarked, examining one of 
them at the light, " and somewhat torn, but, between friends, 
such things must not be considered." 

"Close-fisted, close-fisted!" said Tchitchikoflf to himself, 
" and a beast into the bargain ! " 

" You don't want any female serfs, eh ? " asked Sobakevitch. 

" No, thank you." 

"I could sell some cheap. At a rouble apiece, for old 
acquaintance' sake." 

" No : I have no use for women." 

" Well, if you have no use for them, it is useless to talk about 
them. Taste knows no law. ' One man loves the pope, and 
another the pope's wife,' says the proverb." 

"I should also like to request that this transaction may 
remain a secret between us," said Tchitchikofi", as he took 
leave. 

" That is a matter of course. A third person has no business 
to interfere. What takes place between two intimate friends 
should be confided to their mutual friendship alone. Farewell ! 
I thank you for having visited me. I trust that you will not 
forget me in the future : if you have a little leisure time, come 
and dine with me ; spend a day here. Perhaps we may be able 
to render each other some further service." 

" That's hardly likely ! " said Tchitchikofi" to himself, as he 
seated himself in his britcbka. " That close-fisted devil has 
squeezed two roubles and a half out of me for each dead soul !" 

He was dissatisfied with Sobakevitch's conduct. Although 
they had met at the governor's and the chief of police's, he had 
behaved like a perfect stranger, — he had exacted money for 
rubbish. When the britchka drove out of the yard, Tchitchikofi" 
glanced back, and perceived that Sobakevitch was still standing 
upon the threshold, apparently watching his visitor to see where 
he was going. 

" The sly villain, he's still standing there ! " he muttered 
between his teeth ; and, after turning towards the peasant's 
huts, he ordered Selifan to drive ofi" in such a manner that the 



94 DEAD SOULS. 

equipage could not be seen from the house. He wanted to 
visit Pliushkin, whose people, according to Sobakevitch's 
account, died like flies, but he did not wish Sobakevitch to 
know it. When the britchka reached the farther end of the 
village, he called to the first moujik he met, a fellow who had 
picked up a thick beam somewhere on the road, and who was 
dragging it home to his hut on his shoulder, like an indefatigable 
ant. 

" Hey, there, beard ! How do you get to Pliushkin's from 
here, without having to pass your master's house ? " 

This question seemed to perplex the moujik. 

" Don't you know ? " , 

" No, master, I don't know." 

" you fool ! and you've got gray hair, too ! Don't you know 
that miser Pliushkin, the man who feeds his people so badly ?" 

" Ah ! the ragged man with patched clothes !" exclaimed the 
moujik. " Take that path there, and turn to the right a hundred 
paces off. Then you will only have to drive straight on." 

Thereupon the britchka rolled rapidly away. 



CHAPTER VI. 

PLIUSHKIN. 

While Tchitchikoff was still meditating over the nickname of 
'* ragged man " bestowed by the moujik upon Pliushkin, he did 
not observe that he had arrived in the middle of an extensive 
village, with a multitude of izbas and streets. But he was 
soon forced to take notice of the fact by a tolerably severe 
jolting over the timber-laid road, beside which the stone- 
paved street of a city is nothing. These planks moved, now 
up, now down, like the keys of a pianoforte ; and an incautious 
rider received either a slap on the nape of the neck, or a blow 
on his brow, or was even made to bite the tip of his tongue 
with his own teeth in a very painful manner. Tchitchikoff 
observed a certain peculiar antiquity in all the village structures. 
The timber walls of the izbas were dark and old : many of the 
roofs were so full of holes that they looked like gratings ; on 
some merely the ridge-pole and the side-rafters remained, in the 
form of ribs. It seemed as though the owners themselves had 
torn off the shingles and boards, arguing, and with justice, that 



PLIUSHKIN. 95 

badly built izbas are not good shelter-places during rain, and 
that in fine weather the water does not come through ; besides 
it is no use making a fuss about it, as there is all out-doors and 
the drinking- shops at one's disposal, and one can go where one 
likes on the highway. There was no glass in the windows of 
the little cabins ; some were stufi'ed with rags, or women's petti- 
coats ; the little railed balconies, which for an unknown reason 
are built just under the roof on some Russian izbas, were all 
awry, and blackened even to an unpicturesque degree. Behind 
the izbas, in many places, stretched huge stacks of grain in rows, 
and behind the stacks and the ancient izba roofs two village 
churches rose up into the clear air, peeping forth, now on the 
right hand, now on the left, as the britchka took different turns ; 
they stood beside each other, one built of wood, and in ruins ; 
and the other of stone, with yellow walls, all spotted and cracked. 
Pliushkin's house began to appear at intervals, and at last it 
came fully into sight just as the last izbas were passed, and 
when there appeared a desolate vegetable garden or cabbage 
plantation, surrounded by a low, and in some places dilapidated 
fence. This strange dwelling-place, which was very long, had a 
decrepit look. In some places it was one storey high, in others 
two ; upon its dark roof, which did not, in many parts, afford 
adequate protection from the weather, on account of its age, 
there towered two belvederes, one facing the other, both already 
tottering, and destitute of any trace of paint. The walls of the 
house presented naked lattice-work in lieu of plaster to view in 
various spots, and they had evidently been subjected to all sorts 
of inclement weather — rain, whirlwinds, and autumnal changes. 
Only two of the windows were open : the rest were closed with 
shutters, or simply barricaded with boards. And even these 
two windows were damaged : one of them being darkened by a 
triangular piece of blue sugar-paper pasted over it. 

The old and spacious garden, which stretched away behind 
the house, running towards the village, and then merging into 
a meadow, seemed to be the only fresh spot about the place, and 
formed the only picturesque feature in the desolate landscape. 
The crests of the trees, which had grown at then* own will, rose 
up against the horizon in verdant clumps and quivering domes 
of foliage. The colossal white bole of a beech tree, deprived of 
its leafy head, which had been broken off by a gale of wind or 
a thunderstorm, rose from the midst of this green thicket, look- 
ing like a symmetrical column of gleaming white marble against 
the sky : the slanting, sharply-pointed fracture with which it 
ended above, instead of there being a capital, appeared dark 



96 DEAD SOULS. 

above the snowy whiteness of the trunk. The hop-plants, which 
had stifled the lilacs, mountain-ashes, and hazel-bushes climb- 
ing to the top of the fence, also threatened to envelop the shat- 
tered beech-tree. They had grown half-way up the trunk and 
then descended, catching in other trees, and in places hanging in 
the air, knotting their slender clinging tendrils into rings, which 
swayed gently in the breeze. The green grove, illumined by 
the sun, parted here and there, disclosing unlighted depths 
within it, looking like the dark throats of wild beasts. It was all 
enveloped in gloom, and in its dark recesses there stood forth 
here and there, beside a narrow winding path, some rickety 
arbour surrounded by a railing, with the decayed and hollow 
trunk of a willow tree, a gray Siberian acacia, and some brush- 
wood, which was all tangled and interlaced. A young maple-bough 
too, had stretched forth its green leaves, beneath one of which 
a sun-ray had crept, God alone knows how, suddenly rendering 
it fiery, transparent, and wondrously gleaming amid that thick 
darkness. On one side, at the very edge of the garden, some 
lofty ash-trees bore the huge nests of crows aloft on their 
quivering crests. On some of them, boughs which had been 
half torn away drooped downward, laden with dry leaves. In 
a word, the scene was beautiful as neither art nor nature alone 
can invent, but as is only possible when they are both combined, 
when nature gives the finishing touch with her chisel to the 
often senseless work of man, lightening the heavy masses, de- 
molishing all the coarsely conceived regularity and poverty of 
outline, and casting a wondrous warmth over all which has 
been planned in cold, measured purity and faultlessness. 

After making one or two turns, our hero at length found him- 
self in front of the house, which now appeared even more 
gloomy than before. The ancient wood fence and gates were 
already covered with green slime. A cluster of buildings — 
servants' apartments, storehouses, cellars, evidently falling into 
decay — stretched on one side of the yard; beside them, to right 
and left, the gates of other courtyards were visible. Every- 
thing here announced that things had been conducted on a 
grand scale in former times. 

Nothing was visible which could enliven the picture — no doors 
flying open, no crowd of people going in or out, no bustle of the 
living nor solicitude for the house. The great gates alone were 
open, and that because a moujik had entered with a laden telyega 
covered with a mat. However, Tchitchikofi" soon perceived a 
person who began to quarrel with the moujik who had brought 



PLItJSHKIN. 97 

this tely^ga. For a long time he could not make out to what 
sex this person belonged — whether it was a man or a woman. 
The garb this person wore greatly resembled a woman's cloak, 
but the voice seemed rather hoarse for a woman's. "It must, 
however, be a woman," said Tchitchikotf to himself, but imme- 
diately afterwards he added, " Oh, no ! " " But of course it is 
a woman ! " he said at last, after a more searching gaze. The 
person, meanwhile, stared fixedly at him, as if a visitor was a 
rarity there. Seeing the keys which hung from this person's 
belt, and hearing the very abusive words which were being 
addressed to the moujik, Tchitchikoff inferred that the wearer 
of the cloak was probably the housekeeper. 

" Listen, my good woman," he said, descending from his 
britchka ; " does your master — ■ ? " 

" Not at home," interrupted the housekeeper, without wait- 
ing for him to finish his query ; and then, after a momentary 
pause, she added, " What do you want? " 

" I have some business to transact with him." 

" Go into the room, there, then," said the housekeeper, open- 
ing the door, and showing him her back all spotted over with 
floui", and a large rent in her cloak. Our hero then entered a 
dark but spacious vestibule, whence the cold air poured out as 
though from a cellar. From the vestibule he reached a room 
which was also dark, being only Ughted by a gleam which came 
through a wide crack under the door. On opening this door he 
found himself at last iu the light, and was very much astonished 
at the disorder which he beheld before him. It seemed as if 
the floors were being washed, and as if all the house furniture 
had been temporarily piled up here. A broken chair was even 
standing on one table, and, beside it was a clock of which the 
pendulum had stopped, and to this a spider had attached its 
web. There also stood a sideboard filled with ancient silver, 
decanters, and Chinese porcelain. Upon a desk, inlaid with 
mother-of-pearl, which had already fallen out in pieces, leaving 
behind it empty yellowish holes filled with glue, lay all sorts of 
things : a pile of documents, covered with a marble paper- 
weight which had turned green ; an ancient book in a leather 
binding, with red edges ; a lemon, completely dried up, and no 
larger than a broken walnut-wood knob from an arm-chair ; 
a wineglass covered with a letter, and containing some sort of 
liquid and three flies ; a bit of sealing-wax ; a scrap of rag, 
which had been picked up somewhere ; two ink-stained pens, 
dried up and looking as though they were in a consumption ; 
together with a toothpick, which was quite yellow, and with 

Q 



98 DEAB SOULS. 

•wHch the owner had probably cleansed his teeth prior to the 
arrival of the French in Moscow. 

Upon the walls several pictures were suspended close to- 
gether, and without any attempt at arrangement ; there was a 
long, yellow engraving of some battle, with huge drums, shout- 
ing soldiers, three-cornered hats, and prancing horses. This 
lacked a glass, and was mounted in a dilapidated mahogany 
frame. On a line with this a huge oil painting, which repre- 
sented some flowers and fruits, with a boar's head, and a duck 
hanging head downwards, monopolised half the wall. From the 
middle of the ceiling hung a chandelier enveloped in a linen bag, 
to which the accumulated dust gave the aspect of a silk- 
worm's cocoon with the worm in it; and in one corner of the room 
various things not worthy to lie upon the table were piled 
up in a heap. It would have been impossible to affirm that a 
living being inhabited this apartment, had not an ancient, 
threadbare nightcap, which lay upon the table, borne witness to 
the fact. While Tchitchikoft' was still engaged in surveying 
the place, a side-door opened, and the same housekeeper whom 
he had encountered in the yard entered the room. But he now 
became aware that this person was rather a steward than a house- 
keeper ; a housekeeper, at all events, does not shave, whereas 
this person, on the contrary, shaved every now and then, for 
his chin and all the lower portion of his cheeks resembled one 
of those currycombs made of iron wire, with which horses are 
cleaned down in the stable. Tchitchikoff, imparting an inquir- 
ing expression to his countenance, waited impatiently to hear 
what the steward would say to him. The steward, on his side, 
waited for Tchitchikofl" to speak. At length, our hero, surprised 
by such strange indecision, made up his mind to inquire, — 

" "Where is your master ? Is he at home ? " 

"Yes, he is here," said the steward. 

" Where ? " repeated Tchitchikoff. 

" What, my good fellow, are you blind ? " said the steward. 
" At home, indeed ! I am the master ! " 

Here our hero involuntarily stepped back, and looked more 
attentively at this person. It had been his lot to see many sorts 
of people — even people such as the author and the reader have 
never beheld — but such an individual as this one he had never 
yet looked upon. His face was like that of many gaunt old 
men, only his chin projected so much that every time he wanted 
to spit he had to cover it with his handkerchief, in order not to 
spit upon it ; his small eyes were still bright, and they darted 
about beneath his lofty, bushy brows like mice when they 



PLIUSHKIN. 99 

thrust their pointed noses out of their dark holes, prick up their 
ears, and peer about to see whether a cat, or some scamp of a 
boy, is not hidden somewhere. His attire was even more 
worthy of remark. It was difficult to tell of what material his 
dressing-gown was made ; the sleeves and the upper portions of 
the sku'ts were greasy and shiny to such a degree that they 
resembled the Russia leather of which boots are made ; behind 
there were four tails instead of two, from between which pro- 
truded some checked cotton. Something, also impossible to 
distinguish, either a stocking or a belt, but certainly not a 
neckerchief, was knotted about his neck. In short, if Tchitchi- 
koft" had encountered this landowner, thus arrayed, at the door 
of a church, he would probably have bestowed a copper 
groschen upon him ; for it must be stated, to our hero's credit, 
that he had a compassionate heart, and could not refrain from 
giving a copper groschen to a poor man. 

However, it was not a beggar, but a landowner, who stood 
before him. This proprietor possessed over a thousand souls : 
and one might have searched a long while for a person having 
so much wheat, flour, and so forth, in his storehouse, or pos- 
sessing so many storerooms, barns, and drying-houses, filled 
with sheepskins, both dressed and tanned ; and having such 
quantities of linen, cloth, dried fish, and dried vegetables at his 
disposal. If any one had peeped in upon him in his yard, where 
stores of wood and utensils were accumulated, it would have 
seemed to him that he had, by some means, come upon the 
" shavings market " at Moscow, where wooden vessels are sold, 
and where clever mothers-in-law betake themselves daily, fol- 
lowed by their cooks, to purchase household requisites. At 
Pliushkin's one found every sort of article in wood, turned, 
fitted together, and plaited, — casks, half-casks, buckets with 
handles and without handles, tar-barrels, the tubs in which 
women soak flax and dirty clothes ; baskets, made of thin strips 
of ash ; oval boxes of plaited birch-bark, with wooden bottoms 
and covers ; and many other things of various sorts which are 
of service to the Russians both rich and poor. 

But what was the use of all these things to Pliushkin ? Two 
such estates as his could not have used them up in a lifetime, 
though that seemed to make no difference to him. Not content 
with what he had, he rambled about the streets of his village, 
peering beneath the bridges and the planks thrown across 
the gutters, and everything he came across, whether it was the 
old solo of a shoe, a woman's discarded rag, an iron nail, or a 
piece of a broken earthenware pot, he carried it all home with 



100 DEA.T) SOULS. 

him, and threw it upon the heap which Tchltchikoff had observed 
in the corner of the room. " There's the old fisherman out on 
his ramble," the moujiks would say, when they spied him search- 
ing after his booty. And, in fact, there was no need of sweeping 
the streets after he had gone on his rounds ; if a passing officer 
chanced to lose a spur, the spur was forthwith transferred to 
the familiar heap ; if a woman gaped over the well, and forgot 
her pail, Pliushkin carried off" the pail. However, whenever a 
moujik caught him in the act, he never disputed, but immediately 
surrendered the stolen article ; though if it once fell upon his 
heap, that was the end of it : he swore that it was his own, 
that he had bought it at such and such a time, of such or such 
a person, or that he had inherited it from his grandfather. In 
his own room he picked up everything he saw — a bit of sealing- 
wax, a scrap of paper, or a tiny feather — and stuffed everything 
away in his desk, or on the window-ledge. 

Of course, there had been a time when he had simply been a 
careful manager, when he had been a married family man, and 
when his neighbours had been in the habit of coming to dine 
with him, and listening to him, and taking lessons from him in 
wise economy. Everything then went on briskly : grain-mills 
and fulling-mills were in operation, cloth-mills were running, car- 
penters' shops and spinning-rooms were at work ; the searching 
glance of the master penetrated everywhere and into everything ; 
and carefully, but assiduously, like an industrious spider, did 
he run about attending to domestic matters. In those times 
his courteous and talkative wife was renowned for her hospi- 
tality ; two charming daughters, both fan- and as fresh as roses, 
came to greet the guests : the son, a fine, vivacious little boy, 
ran out and kissed everybody. All the windows in the house 
were open then : there was a French tutor, who was a great 
sportsman, and who was always bringing home partridges or 
ducks for dinner. And there was also a governess for the little 
girls. But the good housewife died. Pliushkin became restless, 
and, like all widowers, suspicious and saving. He did not place 
full confidence in his eldest daughter, Alexandra Stepanovna, 
and he was right ; for Alexandra Stepanovna soon eloped with a 
staff-captain, belonging to God knows what regiment of cavalry, 
and she married him in haste in some village church, although 
she knew that her father did not like ofiicers, on account of a 
strange, prejudiced belief of long standing, that they were all 
gamblers and spendthrifts. Her father sent his curse after her, 
and then the house grew more desolate, its owner became more 
and more miserly. The French tutor was dismissed, because 



PLIUSHKIN. 101 

the time had arrived for the son to enter the civil service ; the 
governess was sent about her business, because it appeared that 
she was not free from guilt in the matter of Alexandra Stepan- 
ovna's elopement ; the son, on being despatched to the chief 
town of the government, in order to learn official routine, accord- 
ing to his father's wish, enlisted in a regiment instead, and wrote 
to his father immediately afterwards, asking for some money. 
Very naturally, he received in reply what the common people 
call a shish.* Finally, the last daughter, who had remained at 
home with the father, died, and the old man found himself the 
sole guardian, protector, and owner of his wealth. 

His lonely life then made him yet more miserly, and as 
though for the express purpose of confirming him in his opinion 
of military men, his son ruined himself at cards : he sent him a 
hearty paternal curse, and never troubled himself afterwards to 
inquire whether he still existed in the world or not. More 
windows were shut up every year in the house, until at last 
only two remained to admit any light, one of which, as the 
reader has already seen, was pasted up with blue paper. As 
time went on he paid less and less attention to domestic manage- 
ment, busying himself more about the scraps of paper and feathers 
which he collected in his room ; he became more and more crusty 
"with the people who came to buy the products of his estate ; the 
dealers grew disgusted with him, and finally abandoned him 
altogether, saying that he was a devil, and not a man ; his hay 
and grain rotted ; his ricks and stores of all sorts turned into 
manure, pure and simple, so that cabbages might have been 
grown upon them ; the flour in his vaults turned to stone, and 
had to be chopped up : it was terrible to touch the linen, the 
cloth, and other materials of domestic manufacture ; they turned 
to dust under the hand. He himself had already forgotten what 
he possessed of any given article. He only remembered the 
sideboard which contained his decanters of brandy, upon which 
he had made a mark, in order that no one might thievishly drink 
the liquor. Meanwhile, however, the revenues of the estate were 
collected as before : the moujiks had to bring as much obrok as 
usual, the same tribute of nuts was imposed upon every housewife, 
and the weaving women were obliged to furnish the same number 
of webs of linen. Everything finally was piled away in the 
storerooms and rotted, and he himself became at last scarcely 
human. His daughter, Alexandra Stepanovna, came a couple of 
times with her little son, to try whether she could not obtain 

* Literally, an insulting sign, made with the fingers, and what English 
children call a long nose. 



102 DEAD SOULS. 

something : it was evident that a wandering life with a cavalry- 
captain was not so attractive as it had appeared before marriage. 
However, Pliushkin forgave her, and allowed the little boy to 
play with a button which was lying on the table, but he gave 
her no money. On another occasion, Alexandra Stepanovna 
came with two children, and brought her father an Easter-cake 
to eat with his tea, and also a new dressing-gown ; for the one 
which he was wearing was in such a state that it made her 
both confused and ashamed to look at it. Pliushkin caressed 
both of his grandchildren, and placing them, one on his right 
knee and the other on his left, he trotted them exactly as though 
they had been riding on horses ; he also accepted the Easter- 
cake and the dressing-gown, but he gave his daughter absolutely 
nothing, whereupon Alexandra Stepanovna took her departure. 

But we must return to our hero. Pliushkin had been stand- 
ing in front of him for several minutes without uttering a word ; 
and Tchitchikoflf was still utterly incapable of beginning the con- 
versation, distracted as he was by the sight of the master him- 
self, as well as by all that was in the room. For a long time he 
could not think how to explain the reason of his visit. He was 
on the point of expressing himself to the effect that, having 
heard of Pliushkin as a public benefactor, he had considered it 
his duty to pay him a personal tribute of respect ; but he felt 
that that would be too much. On casting one more stealthy 
glance on all that was in the room, he became conscious that the 
expression public benefactor might be successfully replaced by 
the words economy and order : so, having reconstructed his sen- 
tence on that pattern, he said that, having heard of his economy 
and rare skill in managing his estate, he had regarded it as his 
duty to make his acquaintance and offer his respects in person. 
He certainly might have alleged some other and better reason, 
but none occurred to him. 

To this, Pliushkin mumbled some reply between his lips, for 
he had no teeth. What it was exactly is not known, but in all 
probability, the sense was as follows : " May the deuce take you 
and your respects ! " However, since hospitality is in such 
repute all over Russia that even a miser cannot ignore its laws, 
he added a little more distinctly, " I beg you most humbly to 
take a seat, I have not been in the habit of receiving guests for 
a long time, and I must confess that I perceive but very little 
use in them. A strange custom has sprung up, of going about 
to visit people's estates to the neglect of domestic affairs. How- 
ever, I can't offer you anything, for I dined long ago : and my 
kitchen is very mean and poor, and the chimneys are in a state 



PLIUSHKIN. 103 

of utter ruin ; if you try to heat the stove, you will certainly set 
the house on fire." 

♦' So that's the kind of man he is ! '" said Tchitchikoff to him- 
self. " It's lucky that I dined at Sobakevitch's, and tucked 
into that breast of mutton." 

"And it is a most unfortunate circumstance but there is 
hardly a wisp of hay for your horses in the whole establish- 
ment," proceeded Pliushkin. " Yes, and where is there any to 
be had ? The farm is small and barren : the peasants are lazy ; 
they are not fond of working ; they only think of getting away 
to the pot-house. As you know, people are thrown on the 
world in their old age." 

" But I was told," said Tchitchikoff modestly, " that you had 
over a thousand souls." 

" Why ! who said that ? My good fellow, you should have 
spit in the eye of the person who told you that ! He was a 
jester: he evidently wanted to make fun of you. That is the 
way people talk ; but for the last three years a cursed fever has 
been killing off my serfs in swarms." 

" You don't say so! And have many really died ? " exclaimed 
Tchitchikoff sympathetically. 

'' Yes ; a great many have been carried off." 

" Will you permit me to inquire the number ? " 

" Fully eighty souls." 

"No, really ? " 

" I am not in the habit of lying, my good fellow.'' 

" Permit me to ask another question : I assume that you 
are reckoning these souls from the time when the last census 
was taken ? " 

" Glory to God if it were only that ! " said Pliushkin ; " but 
since the last census I must have lost fully one hundred and 
twenty souls." 

" Really ? fully one hundred and twenty ? " exclaimed Tchit- 
chikoff, and he even dropped his jaw somewhat with amazement. 

" I am rather old to lie, my good fellow : I have lived seventy 
years," said Pliushkin, who seemed to have taken offence at our 
hero's almost joyous exclamation. 

Tchitchikoff perceived that such a want of sympathy in 
another's woe had I'eally been extremely impolite ; so he imme- 
diately sighed, and said that he felt very sorry. 

" Yes, but your sorrow won't put anything in my pocket," 
said Pliushkin. " There's a captain who lives here near me — 
the deuce knows where he came from, but he says that he's a rela- 
tive. ' Dear uncle, dear uncle ! ' he cries, and he begins to kiss 



104 DEAD SOULS. 

my hand, and to express his sorrow, and raises such a howl that 
you have to hold your ears. He's very red iu the face, and he's 
actually drinking himself to death on brandy. He probably lost 
all his money while serving as an officer, or some actress 
coaxed it out of him ; so now he comes here, and tries to 
wheedle himself into my good graces ! " 

Tchitchikoflf endeavoured to explain that his sympathy was of 
a very different sort to that of the captain, and that he was 
ready to prove it, not by empty words, but by deeds ; in fact, 
without deferring the matter any further, he immediately ex- 
pressed his willingness to take upon himself the responsibility of 
paying the taxes for all the serfs who had died in such an unfor- 
tunate manner. The proposition seemed to amaze Pliushkin. 
He stared at TchitchikofF for a long time with his eyes wide- 
open, and he finally inquired, " Haven't you been in the army, 
my good fellow? " 

" No," replied Tchitchikoff, with a good deal of artfulness: " I 
was in the civil service." 

" In the civil service ? " repeated Pliushkin, and he began to 
work his lips about, as though he were chewing something. 
" But what do you mean by this ? It is surely a loss to you." 

" For your sake, I am even prepared to suffer loss." 

" Ah, my dear fellow ! Ah, my benefactor ! " shrieked 
Pliushkin, not perceiving, in his joy, that the snuff was drop- 
ping from his nose in a very unpicturesque fashion, and that the 
skirts of his dressing-gown, in flying apart, had displayed a very 
impolite garment to view. " You have comforted an old man ! 
Ah, my Lord! Ah, my Saviour!" Pliushkin could say no 
more. But a minute had not elapsed, when the joy which had 
momentarily shown itself on his countenance disappeared as 
though it had not existed, and his face once more assumed a 
careworn expression. He even wiped it with his handkerchief ; 
and, rolling this into a ball, he began to draw it along his upper 

*' With your permission, may I ask if you mean to undertake 
paying the taxes for them every year ? and will you give the 
money to me, or to the imperial treasury ? " 

" This is the way we will manage : we will make out a deed 
of sale for them, as though they were alive, and as though you 
had sold them to me." 

" Yes, a deed of sale," said Pliushkin, falling into thought, 
and he again began to move his lips as before. " But a deed of 
sale — it's nothing but an expense. - Those officials have no con- 
sciences. In former days one used to pay half a rouble in 



PLIUSHKIN. 105 

copper as tax for a sack of flour ; but now you have to send a 
whole waggon-load of groats, and add a red bank-note into the 
bargain — so gi-asping have they grown. I do not know why no 
one else has called attention to that matter." 

However, Tchitchikoff immediately remarked that he was 
even prepared to bear the expenses of the deed of sale. 

On hearing that he would pay that, Pliushkin concluded that 
his visitor must be a thorough fool, and merely pretended that he 
had been in the civil service, but had probably been an officer in- 
stead, and had dallied with actresses. However, with all this, he 
could not conceal his joy, but wished all sorts of happiness to 
our hero, and to his children even, without waiting to in- 
quire whether he had any or not. He went to the window, 
drummed with his fingers on the glass, and cried, "Hey, 
there, Proshka ! " 

A moment later, someone could be heard running on tiptoe in 
the vestibule, and rummaging about there for a long time. Finally 
the door opened, and Proshka entered, a boy of thirteen, shod 
in such huge boots that, as he stumbled along, he nearly drew 
his feet out of them. It may be asked why Proshka had such 
large boots. Well, for all his domestic servants, no matter how 
many of them there were in the house, Pliushkin had but a 
single pair of boots, which was always to be found in the vesti- 
bule. Anyone who was summoned into the master's presence 
generally ran across the yard barefooted ; but on entering the 
vestibule he pulled on the boots, and, thus arrayed, made his 
appearance in the room. On quitting the master's apartment, 
he left the boots in the vestibule, and went his way again bare- 
footed. If anyone had glanced out of the window in the 
autumn, and especially when the first morning frosts were set- 
ting in, he could have seen all the house-serfs taking such leaps 
as are hardly made on the stage by the most accomplished 
dancers. 

" Look there, my good fellow, what a face ! " said Pliushkin 
to Tchitchikoff, pointing at Proshka's countenance. " Stupid, 
truly, like a block of wood ; but only try to lay anything down 
for a minute, and he will steal it ! Well, what have you come 
for, you fool — tell me, eh ? " Here a brief silence ensued. 

" Bring the samovar, do you hear ? " added Pliushkin at last. 
"And here, take this key, and give it to Mavra, so that she 
may go to the storeroom. There, on the shelf, is the sugar oflf 
the Easter-cake which Alexandra Stepanovna brought me — let 
her bring it here for our tea. Stop ! where are you going, you 
fool ? — yes, you utter fool ! Is the Fiend in your legs, busy 



106 DEAD SOULS. 

scratching you ? Listen first. The upper part of the sugar is 
probably spoilt, so let it be scraped off with a knife. And don't 
you throw any of it away, but carry it to the fowl-house. And 
see to it that you don't go into the storehouse, my boy. If 
you do, do you know what will happen ? You will get a taste 
of a birch rod, so that, if you have a capital appetite now, you'll 
have a better one then. Just try to go into the storehouse! 
I shall look out of the window in the meanwhile. He cannot 
be trusted in anything," continued Pliushkin, turning to Tchit- 
chikoff, after Proshka had taken himself off, in company with his 
boots. 

Then he began to gaze suspiciously at our friend. Such 
remarkable magnanimity began to appear incredible to him ; and 
he said to himself, " After all, the devil only knows, he may be 
simply a braggart, like most spendthrifts ! He will lie and lie, 
just for the sake of talking, and then he will go off! " As a 
measure of precaution, therefore, and desirous of putting our 
hero to a further test, he said that it would not be a bad idea to 
draw up the deed of sale as speedily as possible : for one cannot 
depend upon man, you know ; to-day he is alive, and to-morrow 
God knows where. 

Tchitchikoff expressed his readiness to do so on the instant, 
and merely required the list of serfs. This reassured Pliushkin. 
It was evident that he had made up his mind to something ; and 
in fact, taking his keys, he approached the sideboard, and having 
opened the door, he fumbled for a long time among the cups 
and glasses, and finally exclaimed, "Well, I can't find it. But 
I had some splendid liquor, if it has not all been drunk ; but 
my people are such thieves. However, perhaps this is it." 
Tchitchikoff now saw that he held a decanter covered with dust. 
"My deceased wife made this," continued Pliushkin. "That 
rascally housekeeper meant to spoil it completely, and she did 
not even cork it up, the beast ! Beetles and all sorts of rubbish 
made their way into it ; but I took all the filth out, and now it 
is perfectly clean, and I will pour yoii out a glass." 

However, Tchitchikoff made an effort to refuse the liquor, 
saying that he had already eaten and drunk. 

" You have already eaten and drunk? " said Pliushkin. " Yes, 
of course ; one recognises a man who belongs to good society 
wherever one meets him. He does not go about asking for 
things, but is satisfied with Avhat he takes at home. But when 
some good-for-nothing thief comes along, you may feed him as 
much as you like, he'll never refuse. Why, there's the captain : 
he comes here. ' Dear uncle,' says he, ' give me something to 



PTJIISHKIN. 107 

eat ! ' And I'm his uncle about as much as he is my grand- 
father. Probably he has nothing to eat at home, and so he 
prowls about the country. Yes, surely you will need the list 
of all those lazy dogs. Certainly. As soon as I knew about 
their death, I wrote their names down on a special piece of 
paper, in order that I might have them struck out at the first 
revision." 

Pliushkin now put on his spectacles, and began to rummage 
among his papers. As he untied each bundle, he treated his 
guest to such a cloud of dust that the latter sneezed. At last 
he drew out a paper which was covered with writing. The 
names of the serfs were sprinkled all over it as thickly as flies. 
They were of all sorts : ParamanoflFs and Pimenoffs, and Pan- 
taleimonoffs, and even a certain Grigoriy Go-but-you-won't-get- 
there. In all, there were over one hundred and twenty. 
Tchitchikoff smiled at the sight of so many names. Having 
placed the list in his pocket, he remarked to Pliushkin that he 
should be obliged to go to town in order to complete the bill of 
sale. 

" To town ? But why ? And how can I leave my house ? 
Why, all my people are either thieves or rogues ! They would 
plunder me so thoroughly in one day that I should not even 
have a nail left to hang my caftan on." 

" Then, you haven't any acquaintance in town ? " 

" What acquaintances ? All my acquaintances have died, or 
have dropped me. Ah, my dear fellow! as for an acquaintance — • 
But stop, I have one," he exclaimed. "Why, the president of 
the court himself is a friend of mine ! He has never been here 
to visit me in my old age ! Still, how could I help knowing 
him ? We were brought up together, and used to play together. 
Know him, indeed ! He's an old friend ! Would it not do to 
write to him ? " 

*' Write to him by all means." 

"Why not? Such an old friend! We w^ere friends at school." 

And across the old fellow's wooden face there suddenly flashed 
a ray of light, which expressed, not feeling, but the pale reflec- 
tion of a feeling : an apparition, similar to the sudden appear- 
ance of a drowning man, which appearance elicits a joyous shout 
from the crowd assembled on the shore. But in vain do the 
rejoicing brothers and sisters cast a rope from the bank, and 
wait to see whether he will not rise once more ; whether his 
hands are exhausted with his struggles or not, this apparition 
is the last. He is not seen again, and the calm surface of the un- 
responsive fluid seems still more terrible and more desolate than 



108 DEAD SOULS. 

before. Thus Pliushkin's face, after the momentary feeling 
which had flashed across it, became more unfeeling and expres- 
sionless than ever. 

" There was a quarter of a sheet of clean paper lying on the 
table," said he, " but I don't know what has become of it : my 
people are such worthless creatures." Hereupon he began to 
peer about under the table, poked about everywhere, and finally 
screamed, " Mavra ! hey, Mavra! " At his call a woman made 
her appearance carrying a plate,- upon which lay the sugar with 
which the reader is already acquainted ; and a long discussion 
took place between them. 

" What have you done with the paper, you thief? " 

" By Heavens, master, I have seen nothing, except the scrap 
with which you covered the wineglass ! " 

"Why, I can see by your eyes that you have made away 
with it." 

" But why should I have made away with it ? It's of no use 
to me : I don't know how to read or write." 

"You lie! you have carried it to the sacristan: he has a 
smattering of knowledge, as I know, and you have carried it off 
to him." 

" The sacristan can get paper for himself if he wants it. He 
has never laid eyes on your scrap." 

" Just wait ; the fiends will toast you on a gridiron for this, 
on the day of judgment ! You'll see how they will roast you." 

" But what will they roast me for, when I have not even taken 
your paper in my hands ? I may have other weaknesses, but no 
one ever accused me of thieving before." 

" Oh, won't the devils roast you, though ! They will say, 
' Take that, you wretched creature, for deceiving your master !' 
Yes, they will toast you on red-hot bars !" 

"And I shall say, 'There's no reason for it! by Heaven, 
there's none ! I did not take it. Why, there it lies on the 
table. You are always accusing us wrongfully!" 

Indeed, Pliushkin now perceived the bit of paper, and paused 
for an instant, chewing, as it were, till he finally ejaculated, 
"Well, what did you flare up so for? Hey, what a touchy 
creature she is ! Say but one word to her, and she'll answer 
you back with ten. Go and fetch a taper to seal a letter. 
But hold ! don't bring a tallow candle : tallow melts easily ; 
it burns out, and is a dead loss : fetch me a pine-knot !" 

Mavra went out : and Pliushkin, seating himself in an arm- 
chair, and taking a pen, turned the paper about for a long time 
in every direction, to see whether he could not contrive to cut 



PLItJSHKIN. 109 

it in two, but at length be convinced himself that this was im- 
possible, so he dipped his pen into the ink-bottle, containing 
some mouldy liquid, together with a multitude of dead flies, 
and began to write, each word being finely penned and each line 
following close upon the other. He was already regretfully 
reflecting that there would still remain a large expanse of 
unused paper. 

To such meanness, pettiness, baseness, could this man de- 
scend, to such an extent could he change ! Does this resemble' 
the truth, the reader may ask ? Well, it is very likely the! 
truth: it may very well happen with a man. The fiery youth! 
of to-day would start back in horror if he were shown the por-j 
trait of himself in his old age. So take with you on your road, ' 
as you leave behind you the soft years of youth and emerge 
into manhood, which renders one hard and surly — take with 
you all your human impulses, don't leave them on the way : you' 
can never find them again later on if they are once relinquished.,' 
Stern and terrible old age, as it advances, will return you nothing^ 
give you nothing back ! 

" And do you know of any of your friends who would like to 
buy some absconding serfs ?" said Pliushkin, folding his letter. 

" Have you any serfs who have absconded ? " asked Tchit- 
chikofi" quickly. 

" That's the very point : I have. My son-in-law made some 
inquiries, and it appeared that no trace of them could be found : 
but he's a military man ; he's a master hand at stamping about 
in his spurs, but when it comes to troubling himself about legal 
matters ." 

" How many of them were there ? " * 

" They would amount to seventy in all." 

"No!" 

"By Heaven, it is true ! Why, there isn't a year but what 
they run away from me. The common people are great gluttons, 
and have acquired a habit, out of sheer idleness, of stufiing 
themselves on festival days ; and I myself have nothing to eat. 
Well, I would take anything that I might be oftered for the ones 
■who have run away. So you had better advise your friend : if 
he only found ten of them, he would make a deal of money. A 
Boul on the census list is worth fifty roubles, you know." 

"No, we won't let my friend have so much as a smell of 
them," said Tchitchikoff to himself, and then he proceeded to 
explain that no such friend was to be found, that the expenses 
of such an undertaking would amount to so much that one would 
have to cut the skirts ofl; one's own caftan to satisfy the judges 



110 DEAD SOULS. 

and the lawyers ; however, out of sympathy, he was ready to 
give, — well, it was such a trifle, that it was not worth men- 
tioning." 

" But how much would you give ? " asked Pliushkin, at once 
turning into a Jew : his hands trembled like quicksilver. 

"I would give twenty-five copecks for each soul." 

** And how would you pay — in ready money ?" 

"Yes, cash on the spot." 

"But, my good fellow, in consideration of my poverty, you 
might at least give me forty copecks apiece." 

" My most respected sir," replied Tchitchikoff, " I would pay 
not only forty copecks, but five hundred roubles, apiece. I 
would pay that amount gladly, because I see that a highly re- 
spected, good old man is suffering on account of his generosity." 

"By Heaven, it is so! By Heaven, you are right!" said 
Pliushkin, hanging his head, and then swaying it compassionately 
from side to side. " It's all out of generosity." 

" Well, do you see ? I understood your character in an instant. 
So, why should not I give five hundred roubles a soul for them ? 
But I am not in a position to do it, unfortunately. I am willing 
to add five copecks if you like, so that each soul w^ould thus be 
reckoned at thirty copecks." 

"Well, my good fellow, as you please ; but add at least a 
couple of copecks." 

" I will say two copecks more, then. How many have you ? 
I think you said — seventy?" 

" No, they will mount up to seventy-eight in all." 

"Seventy-eight, seventy-eight, at thirty-two copecks a soul, — 
that will be — " Here our hero reflected for an instant, no longer, 
and then said, " That will be twenty-four roubles and ninety- 
six copecks." He was strong in arithmetic. He immediately 
made Pliushkin write out a list of the serfs who had absconded, 
and gave him the money, which the latter took in both hands, 
and carried to his desk, with as much caution as though it had 
been some sort of liquid, and as if he feared each moment that he 
might spill it. On arriving at the desk, he placed the money 
with extreme care in one of the small compartments, where it 
was probably destined to remain interred until Father Karp 
and lather Polykarp, the two popes of his village, were called 
upon to bury him, — to the indescribable joy of his son-in-law and 
daughter, and possibly also of the captain who counted himself 
as a relative. Having put the money away, Pliushkin seated 
himself in his arm-chair, and seemed incapable of finding any 
other subject of conversation. 



PLItJSHKlN. Ill 

" What ! are you preparing to go already? " said he, per- 
ceiving a slight movement which Tchitchikoff' made, simply with 
the object of getting his handkerchief out of his pocket. 

This question reminded our hero that there was really no 
occasion for further delay. " Yes : it is time for me to go ! " 
he exclaimed, taking up his cap. 

" Won't you drink a cup of tea ? " 

" No : it will be better to let the tea wait until another 
time." 

*' How is that ? I have ordered the samovar. However, to 
tell the truth, I am not very fond of tea myself. It's an 
expensive beverage ; and, besides, the price of sugar has risen 
most terribly. Proshka, we don't need the samovar. Carry 
the sugar back to Mavra, do you hear ? Let it be put back in 
the same place, — or no, give it here : I will take it back myself. 
Farewell, my dear fellow," — this to Tchitchikoff, " and may God 
bless you ! And you will hand my letter to the president of the 
court. Yes, let him read it : he is an old acquaintance of mine. 
Why, we were brought up together! " 

Thereupon, this extraordinary apparition, this little, withered- 
up old man, conducted our hero into the yard, after which he 
ordered the gates to be instantly locked. Then he went the 
round of his storehouses, in order to see whether the night 
watchmen were at their posts, ready to beat with their wooden 
shovels on empty casks in lieu of sheet- iron. Then he peeped 
into the kitchen, where, under the pretext of seeing whether 
the servant's food was good, he partook heartily of some cab- 
bage soup and groats; and, finally, having upbraided everyone 
of them for thieving and evil conduct, he returned to his own 
room. When he was alone, he even began to meditate how he 
might requite his visitor for his, in fact, unbounded magnani- 
mity. "I will give him," said he, " my watch. It is a very 
good silver watch, none of your brass or pinchbeck affixirs. It's 
somewhat out of order, but he can have it set to rights for him- 
self. He is still a young man, and will need a watch in order 
to please his bride. Or no," he added, after some thought, " it 
will be better to bequeath it to him after my death, in my will, 
as a remembrance." 

But our hero was in the most cheerful possible frame of mind, 
even without the watch. Such an unexpected acquisition as he 
had made was a perfect godsend, say what you like ; it was not 
only dead souls, but fugitive ones into the bargain, and to the 
number of over two hundred ! He had certainly felt, as ho 
drove up to Pliushkin's village, that he should reap some sort of 



L 



112 DEAB SOULS. 

a harvest ; but he had by no means expected so bountiful a one. 
So all along the road he was extremely merry. It was already 
perfectly dark when they arrived at the mn in the town. There 
Tchitchikoif was met by his servant Petrushka, who held up the 
skirt of his surtout with one hand, — for he did not like to have 
his coat-tails flying, — while with the other he assisted his 
master to alight from the britchka. The waiter also ran out, 
with a candle in his hand, and a napkin over his arm. Whether 
Petrushka was rejoiced at the arrival of his master is not 
known. At all events, he exchanged a wink with Selifan ; and 
his ordinarily surly countenance seemed on this occasion to 
brighten up a little. 

" You have been pleased to stay away a long time," said the 
waiter, as he lighted our hero up the staircase. 

"Yes," answered Tchitchikofl', as he set foot on the stairs. 
" Well, and how are you ? " 

"Very well, thanks be to God," replied the waiter, bowing. 
" Some lieutenant or other arrived yesterday, and engaged 
number sixteen, next to your room." 

" A lieutenant ? " 

" I don't know v/ho he is ; but he comes from Eyazan, and 
has some brown horses." 

" Good, good ! Well, behave yourself as well in future," said 
Tchitchikoif, and he then went to his room. On entering the 
ante-chamber he sniffed, and remarked to Petrushka, "You 
might at least have opened the windows while I was away ! " 

" I did open them," said Petrushka ; but he was lying. 

His master was perfectly well aware of that, but he did not 
care to retort. He felt very much fatigued after the journey 
which he had taken. After partaking of the lightest kind of a 
supper — merely a sucking-pig — he immediately undressed, and, 
stowing himself away beneath the covei'let, he fell into a deep, 
sound sleep. Indeed, he slept in a wonderful way, as only those 
happy beings sleep who know nothing of either nightmares or 
fleas, and who are not given to cudgelling their brains. 



THK TRIBUNALS AND THE POLICE. 113 

CHAPTER VII. 

THE TEIBUNALS AND THE POLICE. 

On the next morning when our hero awoke he stretched out 
his arms and legs, and felt that he had had a good rest. After 
lying for a couple of minutes on his back, he snapped his fingers, 
and recalled with a smile that he now owned nearly four hundred 
souls. Thereupon he leapt from his bed, and began to dress, 
without even looking at his face, of which he was sincerely fond, 
and in which he seemed to find the chin the most attractive 
feature, for he frequently praised it in the presence of his friends, 
especially if they chanced to be present while he was shaving. 
"Look here," he generally said, " see what a chin I have : it 
is perfectly round." 

However, now he glanced neither at his chin nor at his nose, 
but straightway put on his morocco leather boots with orna- 
ments of many colours, such as the town of Torzhok skilfully 
supplies, and then in Scottish fashion, clad only in his shirt, and 
forgetful of his dignity and his respectable middle age, he 
executed a couple of leaps about the room, cracking his heels 
very cleverly. Finally he set to work : he rubbed his hands 
before his dressing-case with as much satisfaction as an incor- 
ruptible district judge feels when he has successfully completed 
a judicial investigation. He was anxious to settle matters at 
once, and would not allow of any delay. He decided to draw 
up the bills of sale himself, in order that he might not be 
obliged to pay any lawyer. He was perfectly well acquainted 
with the legal formulas, so he boldly began writing in large 
letters, "Year one thousand eight hundred and so-and-so;" 
and then, in smaller letters he added" Landowner so-and-so," 
and all the rest that was necessary, so that in a couple of 
hours everything was ready. 

When he glanced after this at the various lists of moujiks 
who had actually been alive once upon a time — who had toiled, 
and got drunk, and acted as izvoshtchiks, had cheated their 
masters, or possibly had simply been good moujiks in their 
way, a certain feeling overpowered him, which was strange and 
incomprehensible, even to himself. Each one of the lists seemed 
to possess a special character ; and, more than that, the moujiks 
themselves seemed to have acquired a special character. Nearly 



114 DEAD SOULS. 

all the moujiks which had belonged to Madame Korobotchka 
seemed to have supplementary names and nicknames. Pliush- 
kin's list was distinguished by brevity of style ; often only the 
first syllables of the men's names and surnames were given, and 
these were followed by a couple of dots. On the other hand, 
Sobakevitch's list was remarkable for its fulness and minuteness 
of detail ; not a single one of any of the moujiks' qualities was I 
omitted. Of one it was said, "A good cabinet-maker;" to the 
name of another was appended the remark, " He is intelligent, 
and does not get drunk," Such facts were also indicated as 
who were the men's mothers and fathers, and what the con- 
duct of the parents had been. Against the name of one, a certain 
Fedotoflf, there was written, *'His father is not known, but his 
mother was the housemaid Kapitolina ; however, he is of a good 
disposition, and not a thief." All these details contributed a 
peculiar freshness to the list ; it seemed as though these moujiks 
had been alive only the day before. After indulging in a long 
look at their names, Tchitchikoflf ejaculated with a sigh, " My 
good fellows ! how many there are of you packed in here ! 
What did you do when you were alive ? Answer me, beloved of 
my heart ! How did you get along ? " This led him to many 
reflections as to the lives led by the departed moujiks, and the 
time rapidly slipped away. " Heigho ! twelve o'clock I " he said 
at last, glancing at his watch. " Why have I been dawdling 
here all this time ? I might have finished my business, and 
instead of that I first wasted time in foolish thoughts. Well, 
I am a fool. 

Having made this remark he exchanged his Scottish cos- 
tume for one patronised by civilised Europeans, drew the 
buckle of his waistcoat as tightly as possible, sprinkled himself 
with eau-de-Colopie, took his cap in his hand and his papers 
under his arm, and set out for the city court-house to com- 
plete the sales. 

He walked along at a rapid pace, for he felt that he should 
feel awkward and uneasy until everything was finished. He 
had not been long in the street, and he was still thinking of all 
these matters, and at the same time drawing his bearskin cloak, 
covered with light-brown cloth, over his shoulders, when at a 
turn in the lane he came in contact with a gentleman, also 
clad in a bearskin cloak, covered with light-brown cloth, and 
having a warm cap with ear-pieces on his head. The gentleman 
uttered an exclamation ; it was Maniloff. They immediately 
clasped each other in a close embrace, and stood in the street in 
that attitude for fully five minutes. Their kisses were so vigorous 



THE TRIBUNALS ANB THE POLICE. 115 

that their front teeth ached for the whole day afterwards, and 
Maniloff's joy, especially, was so great, that nothing seemed 
left of his face but his nose and lips ; his eyes disappeared com- 
pletely. He held Tchitchikoff's hand in both of his own for a 
quarter of an hour, and made it frightfully warm. Then he 
related in the most delicate and agreeable terms how he had 
come to town on purpose to embrace Pavel Ivanovitch, and his 
speech concluded with a compliment such as is only addressed 
as a rule to a young girl, with whom one is on the point of 
dancing. Tchitchikoff had already opened his mouth without 
knowing how to thank Maniloli'; but all at once the latter pulled 
a roll of paper, tied with a narrow pink ribbon, from beneath 
his cloak. 

" What is this ? " asked our hero, taking the paper. 

" A list of the moujiks." 

" Ah ! " Then Tchitchikoff unrolled it, ran his eyes over it, 
and was amazed at the clearness and elegance of the writing. 
" This is splendidly done," said he ; " it will not be necessary 
to copy it. There is even a border all round it. Who did 
this border so tastefully ? " 

" Well, you ought not to ask me. It was my wife." 

"Ah, good Heavens ! I am really ashamed that she should 
have taken so much trouble." 

" There is no such thing as trouble, when Pavel Ivanovitch 
is in question." 

Tchitchikoff made a bow of gratitude. On learning that he 
was on his way to the court-house, to complete the deed of sale, 
Maniloff expressed his readiness to accompany him. 

The friends locked arms and set off together. At every 
elevation, however light, at every little rise of ground or step, 
Maniloff" supported Tchitchikoff, and almost lifted him up by 
his arm, accompanying the action with an agreeable smile and 
the remark that he would by no means suffer Pavel Ivanovitch 
to hurt his little feet. Tchitchikoff' felt conscience-stricken, 
since he did not know how to return his thanks, though he was 
well aware that he was rather heavy. By dint of mutual assist- 
ance, they finally reached the market-place, where the court- 
house was situated, a large three-storey stone building, as white 
as chalk, in allusion, probably, to the purity of soul prevaihng 
in the pubUc offices installed within it. 

The friends did not walk, but ran, up the staircase. Tchi- 
tchikoff, not caring to let Maniloff have the trouble of helping 
him, quickened his pace ; and Maniloff, on his side, flew on 
in advance, in order not to allow Tchitchikoff to get the advan- 



116 DEAD SOL'LS. 

tage of him, so that they hoth were very much out of breath when 
they finally arrived in a dark corridor. Neither in this place nor 
in the rooms around was any cleanliness at all conspicuous. 
Our heroes espied a great many documents, both rough drafts 
and clean copies, clerks with bent heads, broad necks, swallow- 
tailed coats, surtouts of provincial cut, and even one in a 
pimple light gray round jacket, which stood out sharply among 
the rest, and whose owner, with his head on one side, and 
almost resting on the paper, was writing out either a protocol 
about the seizure of some land, or else the description of an 
estate which had been suddenly seized by some land-grabber. 
Then they heard exclamations and orders given in a hoarse 
voice : " Matter No. 368, if you please, Fedosiy Fedosievitch ! " 
Next a scolding remark: "You are always carrying off the 
stopper of the court ink-bottle ! " While at times a more com- 
manding voice, belonging probably to one of the superior offi- 
cials, rang out imperiously, " There, copy that, and look sharp ; 
if you don't, your boots shall be taken off your feet, and you 
bhall sit in my office without food for six days !" 

The noise made by the pens as they went scratch, scratch, 
was very great, and resembled that of several telyegas loaded 
with brushwood passing through a forest, where the dry leaves 
lay fully a quarter of an arshin '■' high. 

Tchitchikoff and Maniloff entered the first department, where 
there sat two officials, of whom our hero inquired, — "Will you 
be kind enough to tell us where is the proper office for recording 
the sales of serfs ?" 

"What do you want?" said both functionaries, turning 
round. 

" I want to have a deed of sale registered." 

" What have you been buying ? " 

" I wish to know first of all where the serf department is— 
here, or where ? " 

" Tell us first what you have bought, and what price you 
have paid, and then we will tell you where to go ; but it's im- 
possible for us to do so otherwise." 

Tchitchikoff immediately perceived that these officials were 
simply inquisitive young fellows who unduly assumed an air of 
importance. 

"Listen," said he; " I know perfectly well that all affairs 
connected with serfs, no matter what the price paid for them 
may be, are transacted in one place, and I therefore beg of you 

* Seven inclies. 



THE TRIBUNALS AND THE POLICE. 117 

to show US the department ; if you do not know what goes on 
here about you, we will inquire of someone else." 

To this the functionaries made no reply : one of them merely 
pointed with his finger to a corner of the room, where there sat 
an old man docketing some papers. Tchitchikoff made his way 
straight up to him. The old man was greatly absorbed in his 
work. 

" Permit me to inquire," said Tchitchikoff with a bow, 
*' whether this is the place for matters connected with sale of 
serfs ? " 

The old man raised his eyes and replied, " No, this is not 
the place for serf-sales." 

" Where is it, then ? " 

" In the serf department." 

" And where is the serf department ? " 

" Ivan Antouovitch has charge of it." 

"And where is Ivan Antonovitch ? '' 

The old man pointed with his finger to another corner of the 
room, and Tchitchikoff and Maniloff betook themselves to Ivan 
Antonovitch. Ivan Antonovitch had already cast a glance behind 
him and taken a stealthy survey of them ; but he now busied 
himself more intently than ever with his writing. 

" Permit me to inquire," said Tchitchikoff with a bow, " whe- 
ther this is the place for the transaction of business connected 
Avith the sale of serfs ? " 

Ivan Antonovitch pretended not to hear him, and, without 
vouchsafing any reply, became absorbed in his papers. It 
at once became apparent that he had attained to years of dis- 
cretion — in fact he seemed to be well past forty. His hair was 
black and thick, and he had one of those faces which is desig- 
nated in common life as a "jug phiz." 

" Allow me to inquire whether this is the serf department ?" 
repeated Tchitchikoff. 

"Yes," said Ivan Antonovitch, who just turned his jug face 
round, and then went on with his writing. 

" Well, this is my business. I have purchased some peasants 
for exportation from various proprietors in this district. I havo 
the deeds of sale ; all that remains is to register them." 

" Ai'e the vendors present ? " 

" Some are here, and from the others I have written autho- 
rity." 

" Have you brought your drafts of the bills of sale ? " 

" Yes, I have. I should like to know — I am in somewhat of 
f\, hurry^f the business could not be fiuished to-day ? " 



118 DEAD SOULS. 

" Oh, to-day ! that's impossible," said'Ivan Antonovitch. " In- 
quiries must first be instituted as to whether there is anything 
illegal about these matters." 

" As far as that is concerned, and in order that the affair may 
be expedited, I may mention that Ivan Grigorievitch, the Presi- 
dent of the Court, is a great friend of mine." 

" Yes ; but Ivan Grigorievitch is not the only person in the 
world to be considered ; there are others," said Ivan Antono- 
vitch grimly. 

Tchitchikoff understood the hint conveyed by Ivan Antono- 
vitch, and so he said, " The others will not be left dissatisfied. 
I have been in the service myself; I know how the business is 
managed." 

" Go to Ivan Grigorievitch," said Ivan Antonovitch, in a 
somewhat mollified voice. " Let him give orders to the proper 
persons ; but the matter does not depend on us." 

Tchitchikoff", pulling a bank-note from his pocket, laid it before 
Ivan Antonovitch, who did not notice it in the least, though he 
immediately covered it with a book. Tchitchikoff was about 
to point it out to him ; but Ivan Antonovitch let it be under- 
stood, by a motion of his head, that it was not necessary for 
him to do so. 

"There, that fellow will conduct you to the court-room," 
the official next said, nodding his head. A clerk with frayed 
sleeves and patched trousers guided our friends, as Virgil guided 
Dante in the olden days, taking them straight to the court-room, 
where in an ample arm-chair, and behind two ponderous books 
and a mirror of the laws, sat the president in state, like the 
sun. He was not alone, for beside him sat Sobakevitch, en- 
tirely concealed by the zertzalo.* The entrance of the visitors 
elicited an exclamation, and the presidential chair was shoved 
back. Sobakevitch also rose from his seat. The president 
received Tchitchikoff" into his embrace, and the audience- 
chamber resounded with kisses, after which the two friends 
inquired about each other's health. It then appeared that they 
both had the back-ache, which was immediately attributed to 
their sedentary life. The president, it seemed, had already 
been informed of the purchases by Sobakevitch, for he imme- 
diately began to congratulate our hero, which threw him into 
some confusion at first, especially when he perceived that 
Sobakevitch and Maniloff", two of the persons with whom the 

* Zertzah. A small, triangular glass case, containing the three ukases 
of Peter the Great, with the imperial eagle. This stands on the tahle of 
every court-room in Russia, 



THE TRIBUNALS AND THE POLICE. 119 

business had been privately transacted, now stood face to face. 
However, he thanked the president, and then turning to Sobake- 
vitch, he inquired, " And how is your health ? " 

" Glory to God, I do not complain," said Sobakevitch. And, 
in fact, he had nothing to complain of. Iron would sooner have 
taken cold or caught a cough than this marvellously well consti- 
tuted landowner. 

" Yes, you have always gloried in your health," said the 
president ; " and your late father also was a strong man." 

" Yes, he went bear-hunting alone," replied Sobakevitch. 

"But it seems to me," said the president, " that you also 
could overthrow a bear if you chose to go out and encounter 
him." 

" No, I could not throw him," answered Sobakevitch. " My 
father was much stronger than I am." And he continued, with 
a sigh, "No, there are no such people left now. Here's my 
life, for example. What sort of a life is it ? It is nothing 
but " 

" In what respect is not your life agreeable ? " said the 
president. 

" It's not good, not good ! " said Sobakevitch, shaking his 
head. " Judge for yourself, Ivan Grigorievitch. I have lived 
for fifty years and I have never once been ill ; I have never had 
so much as a headache or an ulcer or a boil. Now that is 
not a good omen. Some time or other I shall have to pay for 
all this ! " and hereupon Sobakevitch became plunggd into pro- 
found melancholy. / 

". Eh, what a man ! " thought Tchitcliikoflf and the president 
simultaneously. " What a thing he has hit upon to fret 
about ! " 

" I have a little note for you," said Tchitchikofi", pulling 
Pliushkin's letter out of his pocket. 

" From whom ? " said the president. And breaking the seal, 
he exclaimed, " Ah ! fromPliushkin. Is he still vegetating on in 
this world ? That's a case of fate. He used to be the most 
sensible, the wealthiest of men. But now " 

" He's a dog ! " said Sobakevitch ; " a scoundrel ! He has 
starved nearly all his people to death." 

" Certainly, certainly," said the president, when he had 
finished reading the letter. " I am ready to be his agent. When 
do you wish to complete the sale — now, or later on ?" 

"Now," said Tchitchikoff; "I should like it to be to-day, if 
possible, for I wish to go out of town to-morrow. I have 
brought the draft bills of sale with me." 



120 DEAD SOULS. 

" That is all right, only, -whatever may be your wishes in the 
matter, we shall not let you leave us so soon. The deeds of 
sale will be completed to-day, but you must remain with us. 
I will give the necessary orders immediately," added the presi- 
dent; and he opened the door to the offices, which were 
filled with functionaries, who resembled industrious bees, 
scattered over their comb — if, indeed, a honeycomb can be 
compared to government offices. " Is Ivan Antonovitch here ? " 
he asked. 

" Yes," replied a voice within. 

" Send him here." 

Ivan Antonovitch, the man with the jug-like face, presented 
himself in the audience-chamber, and bowed respectfully. 

" Here," said Ivan Grigorievitch, " take all these bills of the 
sale of serfs, and have them " 

" And don't forget, Ivan Grigorievitch," broke in Sobakevitch, 
"that at least two witnesses will be required on both sides. 
Send to the procurator at once ; he is a man of leisure, and is 
probably at home. Lawyer Zalotukha, the greatest robber on 
earth, does all his work for him. The inspector of the Medical 
Institute — he's a gentleman of leisure too, and is probably at 
home, if he has not gone off somewhere to play at cards. But 
there are plenty who are nearer at hand : Trukhatchevsky, 
Byegushkin — they are all useless encumberers of the earth ! " 

" Exactly, exactly ! " said the president ; and he immediately 
despatched a clerk in search of all of them. 

" I must also request you," said Tchitchikofi", " to send for 
the representative of a lady landowner, with whom I have con- 
cluded a purchase — th6 son of the protopope Father Kirill ; he 
serves under you." 

" Certainly ; we'll send for him," said the president. "Every- 
thing shall be done, and you need not give anything to the 
officials; that I must beg of you. My friends must not pay." 
So saying, he immediately gave some orders to Ivan Antono- 
vitch, which were evidently displeasing to the latter. The deeds 
seemed to produce a favourable impression on the president, 
especially when he perceived that the purchases were for a large 
number of serfs, who must be worth fully a hundred thousand 
roubles. He looked Tchitchikoff in the eye for several minutes, 
with an expression of the greatest satisfaction, and at length 
remarked, " Well, really! This is the way to do things, Pavel 
Ivanovitch. So you have acquired all these ?" 

"Yes," replied Tchitchikoff. 



THE TRIBUNALS AND THE POLICE. 121 

" It's a fine transaction ; truly, a fine piece of business." 

"Yes; I myself know that a finer piece of business could 
not be undertaken. At all events, a man's object in living 
remains undefined if he does not set his feet firmly on a durable 
foundation, in place of following the chimera of youth." Here 
our friend very opportunely introduced some strictures upon 
young men for indulging in Liberalism, and so on. But it was 
worthy of note that there was a certain lack of firmness in his 
own words, as though he were saying to himself all the while, 
" Eh, my good fellow ? you are lying, and stoutly lying, too ! " 
He did not even glance at Sobakevitch and Maniloft', for fear of 
detecting something or other on their faces. But his fears were 
groundless : Sobakevitch's face never moved ; and Manilofl", de- 
lighted with this discourse, only nodded his head approvingly 
as he fell into that attitude which an admirer of music assumes 
when a songstress has outdone a fiddle, piping such a shrill 
note that even a bird could not sing it. 

" Why don't you tell Ivan Grigorievitch," noAv called out 
Sobakevitch, "just what you have bought? And you, Ivan 
Grigorievitch, why don't you ask him what sort of an 
acquisition he has made ? Such people ! Simply worth their 
weight in gold ! Why, I have sold him my carriage-maker, 
Mikhyeft'! " 

"No; you haven't sold Mikhyefi*, though ? " said the presi- 
dent. " I knew that carriage-maker, Mikhyefi"; he was a capital 
workman; he repaired a drozhky for me once. Only, excuse 
me, how is it ? You certainly told me that he was dead." 

" What ! Mikhyeff dead ?" said Sobakevitch, not in the least 
disconcerted. "It was his brother who died; but he's very 
much alive, and in better health than ever. Only a few days 
ago he began to make me a britchka, such as you can't get made, 
even in Moscow." 

" Yes, Mikhyefi" is a capital workman," said the president, 
" and I am even surprised that 5'ou could part with him." 

"Yes, and not Mikhyefi' only, but Cork Stepan, the carpenter ; 
Milushkin, the brickmaker ; Maksim Telyatnikofl", the shoe- 
maker — they are all gone ; I've sold them all." And when the 
president inquired why he had sold them, since they were all 
men who were indispensable about a house, being capital 
artisans, Sobakevitch replied, with a wave of his hand, "Ah! 
well, the fancy struck me. 'Come,' I said to myself, ' I'll sell 
them ;' and so I did, in a freak." Thereupon he hung his head, 
as though he repented of his deed, and added, " Here I am, a 



122 DEAD SOULS. 

grey-haired man, and I haven't acquired any common sense to 
this day." 

"But excuse me, Pavel Ivanovitch," said the president, 
" how does it come that you are purchasing serfs without land ? 
Are they for colonisation ? " 

"Yes, for colonisation." 

" Oh, well! if they are for colonising purposes, it's quite a 
different matter ; and in what locality? " 

" The locality. Oh ! in the Khersonese Government." 

" Oh, the land is excellent there ! " said the president, and 
he expressed himself in very laudatory, terms with regard to the 
growth of the grass there. 

" And have you a sufficient amount of land ? " 

**I have as much as is necessary for the serfs which I have 
bought." 

*' Is there a river or a pond ? " 

** A river. And there is a pond besides." After saying this, 
Tchitchikoff glanced, unintentionally, at Sobakevitch ; and, 
although Sobakevitch was as stolid as ever, it seemed to him as 
though there were written on his face, " Oh, you're lying ! 
You haven't any river, or pond, or land, at all ! " 

During this conversation, the witnesses began to make their 
appearance, — the blinking procurator, who is already known 
to the reader ; the inspector of the Medical Institute, Trukhat- 
chevsky, Byegushkin, and the other " encumberers of the earth," 
as Sobakevitch expressed it. Many of them were entirely 
unknown to Tchitchikoff. Not only was the son of the proto- 
pope, Father Ivirill, fetched, but even the protopope himself. 
Each of the witnesses signed with all his names and titles : some 
in a reversed handwriting ; some in a slanting hand ; some simply 
upside down, — introducing such letters as were surely never 
yet beheld in the Russian alphabet. Our well-known Ivan 
Antonovitch did his work very briskly. The deeds of sale were 
recorded, the dates were entered, everything was copied in the 
books, and, when it was all done, there was a chai-ge of one 
half-rouble per cent., for the registration, to be paid. However 
Tchitchikoff disbursed even less, for the president ordered that 
only one-half of the tax should be demanded of him ; and the 
other half was, in some manner, transferred to the account of 
another purchase. 

" So now," said the president, when all was over, "it only 
remains for us to seal the contracts with a convivial glass." 

" I am ready," said Tchitchikoff. " It only depends on you 
to name a time. It would be a sin on my part if I did not 



THE TRIBUNALS ANT) THE POLICE. 123 

uncork two or three bottles of foaming wine for such an agree- 
able company." 

" No ; you have not taken the matter aright. We are going 
to provide the foaming material ourselves," said the president. 
" It is an obligation: it is our duty. You are our guest: we 
must entertain you. Do you know what, gentlemen ? This is 
what we will do : we will all of us, as many as there are here 
present, go to the chief of poHce's ; he's a wonderful fellow ! 
It will only take him a minute to pass along through the fish- 
market and look at the wine merchants, and you know how we 
shall fare then ! And v^eW also have a little whist-party to 
celebrate this occasion." 

No one could refuse such a proposition. The witnesses felt 
an appetite at the very mention of the fish-market : they all 
instantly took up their caps and hats, and the sitting of the 
court was at an end. When they passed through the offices, 
Ivan Antonovitch — he of the jug face — said softly to Tchitchi- 
kofi", as he made his bow, " You have bought a hundred thou- 
sand roubles' worth of peasants, and yet you have only given 
me one white bank-note for my labour." 

"Yes; and what are peasants, after all?" Tchitchikofi" / 
answered him in a corresponding whisper ; "a very worthless j 
and most insignificant class of people, and not worth half that." i 
Ivan Antonovitch then understood that his visitor was of an 
uncompromising character, and would not give him any more. 

The visitors finally arrived at the chief of police's house in a 
body. This chief of police really was a wonderful man. As 
soon as he learned the state of alfairs, he called to the captain 
of the district, a bold young fellow in lacquered cavalry-boots, 
and whispered a couple of words in his ear, adding, "Do you 
understand?" And then while the guests were playing whist 
with ardour in one room, there appeared on the table in another 
some sturgeon, sterlet, salmon, sveriuga,* pressed caviar, 
salted caviar, herrings, patties, cheese, smoked tongues, and so 
on ; all of which came from the market. Next appeared a con- 
tribution from the oflicials' own quarters — a boar's head, a patty 
made out of a nine-pood sturgeon, another pasty of mushrooms, 
some gingei'bread, butter-cakes, and rzvarenitza. '■'■'■ 

The chief of police was a sort of father and benefactor to the 
town. He was as much at home among the citizens as in his 
own family, and he visited the shops and bazaars and disposed 
of their contents as if they were his own private storerooms. 

* A fish of the sturgeon species. 

•f A spiced driftk made of beqr, brandy, and mead. 



124 DEAD SOULS. 

On perceiving that the luncheon was ready, this wonderful 
official proposed to his guests that they should finish their game 
of whist after the meal ; and they all hetook themselves to the 
adjoining room, whence an odour which tickled their nostrils 
agreeably had long since been issuing. Sobakevitch had peeped 
through the doorway a long while before, and had caught sight 
of the sturgeon reposing on a huge platter in the distance. "When 
each of the guests had drunk a glass of vodka of the olive-green 
hue of those Siberian stones from which seals are cut in Russia, 
they approached the table with their forks, and began to ex- 
hibit their characters and their predilections, as the saying is ; 
some attacking the caviar, others the salmon, and others the 
cheese. 

Sobakevitch, paying no heed to any of these trifles, attached 
himself to the sturgeon, and in a little more than a quarter of an 
hour, while the rest were eating, drinking, and conversing, he 
completely made away with it, so that when the chief of police 
happened to remember it, and said to his guests, " And what do 
you think of that product of nature, gentlemen ? " and turned 
towards it with his fork upraised, he saw that nothing was left 
of his product of nature except its tail. But Sobakevitch kept 
quiet, as though it were not his doing ; and, marching up to the 
dish which was farthest off, he thrust his fork into a small dried 
fish. After that he seated himself in an arm-chair, and neither 
eat nor drank any more, but merely screwed up his eyes and 
blinked. 

The chief of police was in no wise sparing of his wine, and 
there was no end to the toasts. The first one was drunk, as the 
reader may have divined, to the health of the new landowner in 
the Khersonese, and then to the welfare of his serfs and to their 
successful removal ; then to the health of his future beautiful 
wife, which evoked a pleasant smile on the lips of our hero. 
They surrounded him on all sides, and began to entreat him to 
remain at least two weeks longer in the town. " No, Pavel 
Ivanovitch ! You may say what you like, you shall stay awhile 
with us! We'll marry you off"! — We will marry him, won't 
Ave, Ivan Grigorievitch ? " 

" We'll marry him ! we'll marry him ! " The president of 
the court caught up the refrain. "You may defend your- 
self with hands and feet, but we'll marry you all the same," 
he said. " Now, my dear fellow, you have come here, and 
you won't have any reason to complain. We are not fond of 
jesting." 

*' What ! Why should I resist with hands and f^et ? " said 



THE TRIBUNALS AND THE POLICE. 125 

Tchitchikoflf, laughing. " Marriage is not such a thing that 
one However there would have to be a bride." 

"A bride will be provided. "Why not? You shall have 
everything, — everything that you wish ! " 

" And if " 

" Bravo ! he will stay ! " they all exclaimed. " Viva, hurrah! 
Pavel Ivanovitch ! Hurrah ! " And they all crowded round 
him to touch his glass with those which they held in their 
hands. Tchitchikotf clinked glasses with all. " Ah ! Ah ! once 
more ! " exclaimed the more enthusiastic ; and again they 
clinked. Then they came up to touch glasses a third time, 
and for the third time they clinked. All had become extremely 
merry in a very short space of time. The president, who was 
a very charming man when he got excited, embraced Tchitchi- 
kofl' several times, exclaiming, in the fulness of his heart, " My 
Boul ! my mamma ! " and then cracking his fingers, he even 
began to dance round our hero, humming the well-known song, 
" Ah! thou art so nice, so nice, thou Komarinsk moujik ! " 

After the champagne, they opened some Hungarian wine, 
which raised their spirits to a still higher level, and rendered 
them extremely lively. They had forgotten all about their 
whist. They asked questions, laughed and talked about every- 
thing, — about politics, and even about military matters; freely 
expressing sentiments for which they would have whipped their 
children at another time. They settled a multitude of the most 
difiicult questions. Tchitchikofi" had never found himself in 
such a merry mood. He fancied that he was actually a land- 
owner in the Khersonese, and he talked about various improve- 
ments, — about farming ; about the happiness and bliss of two 
souls living in mutual affinity ; and he began to recite to Sobake- 
vitch, Werther's message to Charlotte, in verse ; his friend 
blinking as he sat in his arm-chair, for after eating all that 
sturgeon he felt strongly inclined to sleep. However, Tchitchi- 
kofi" finally became conscious that he was growing too commu- 
nicative ; he asked for a carriage, and obtained the loan of the 
procurator's drozhky. The coachman of this vehicle w^as an 
experienced young fellow, as soon became apparent on the road ; 
for he drove with one hand, and, thrusting the other behind him, 
supported our hero with it. In this manner was Tchitchikofi" 
conveyed in the procurator's drozhky to his inn, where he still 
continued to talk all sorts of nonsense for a long while, chatting 
about a golden-haired bride with rosy cheeks, and a dimple 
on the right one ; about estates in the Ivhersonese, and capital. 
Selifan even received instructions to collect all the newly pur- 



126 DEAD SOULS. 

chased serfs, in order that a roll of them might be called. He 
listened for a long time in silence, and then he left the room, 
remarking to Petrushka, "Go and undress the master!" 

Petrushka set about removing his master's boots, f and almost 
dragged him on to the floor with them. But at last the boots 
were removed, the master properly undressed, and after tossing 
about for a while on the bed, which creaked unmercifully, he 
fell asleep, fully convinced that he was a landowner in the 
Khersonese. But in the meanwhile Petrushka had carried his 
trousers and his cranberry-coloured coat into the corridor, and, 
hanging them up, he began to beat and brush them so that the 
dust flew all over the place. As he was preparing to take 
them down again he glanced outside and perceived Selifan just 
coming from the stable. Their glances met, and they under- 
stood each other by instinct : the master had fallen asleep, so 
that they could take a little run on their own account. Carrying 
the coat and trousers into the room, Petrushka immediately 
went down-stairs ; and they both set off without uttering a 
single word to each other as to the object of their expedition, 
but chatting on the way of a totally different subject. Their 
walk was not a long one, however ; they only went just across 
the street to a building which stood opposite the inn. Here 
they entered a cellar-like room, where people of all sorts were 
seated at wooden tables — men with shaven and unshaven 
chins ; men in sheepskin coats, and men in nothing but shirts ; 
with one fellow who wore a frieze cloak. What Selifan and 
Petrushka did there, God only knows ; but they came out an 
hour later, arm-in-arm, in utter silence, showing each other 
great attention, and mutually preventing each other from falling. 
Hand in hand, and without ever releasing their hold on each 
other, they fumbled about on the staircase for a quarter of 
an hour, then mounted, and reached their master's rooms. 
Petrushka halted for a moment before his lowly bed, meditating 
how he could lie down upon it in the most genteel manner, and 
then he stretched himself directly across it, so that his feet 
rested on the floor. Selifan lay down on the same bed, placing 
his head on Petrushka's stomach, forgetting that he ought not 
to have slept there at all, but in the servants' quarters, or in 
the stable near the horses. Both fell asleep at the same instant, 
raising a snore of incredible loudness, to which their master 
replied from the other room with a thin, nasal whistle. Soon 
after this all sank into silence, and the inn was wrapt in 
impenetrable slumber. In one small wmdow alone was there 
still a light visible ; it was the window of a room occupied by 



THE TRIBUNALS AND THE POLICE. l27 

some cornet or other, who had come from Ryazan, and who was 
evidently very fond of boots, for since his arrival he had already 
ordered four pairs, and was now trying on a fifth one. Several 
times he approached his bed with the intention of throwing 
them off and lying down, but he could by no means bring him- 
self to do so. The boots were really very well made ; and for 
a long time he still kept lifting up his feet and gazing with 
admii'ation at the high and wonderfully formed heels. 



CHAPTER VIII. 

THE GOVEENOR's BALL. 



Tchitchikoff's purchases became the subject of conversation 
throughout the town. Discussions went on, and opinions were 
expressed as to whether the purchase of serfs for colonisation 
was profitable. In the course of the debate many people 
showed themselves to be thoroughly conversant with the sub- 
ject. " Of course," said some, " it is profitable. There is no 
question as to that ; the soil in the southern provinces is very 
fine and fertile ; but what will Tchitchikoff do with his serfs if 
he has no water ? For there certainly are no rivers thereabouts." 

" The lack of water would be nothing, nothing at all, Btepan 
Dimitrievitch," replied another wiseacre ; "but this colonisa- 
tion of serfs is a hopeless matter. It is a well-known fact that 
on new land, where the work is confined to agriculture — where 
there is nothing, neither izba nor manor-house — the moujik 
will run away, as sure as twice two make four, and will, indeed, 
take himself ofi' in such a manner that you will never dis- 
cover the slightest trace of him." 

" No, Alexei Ivanovitch ; excuse me, excuse me : I do not 
agree with you at all when you say that Tchitchikofi''s moujiks 
will run away. A Russian man is capable of anything, and can 
adapt himself to all climates. Send him to Kamchatka if you 
like, only give him some warm gloves, and, axe in hand, he will 
set to work and build himself a new izba." 

" But, Ivan Grigorievitch, you have lost sight of one very 
important fact : you have not yet inquired what sort of moujiks 
Tchitchikoff has bought ? You have forgotten that a landowner 
does not part with good serfs. I am ready to forfeit my head if 
Tchitchikoft"s serfs are not thieves, drunkards to the last degree, 
and of idle and dissolute behaviour." 



12S DEAD SOULS. 

" Yes, yes, I agree to that ; that is true : nobody sells good 
moujiks, and Tchitchikoff's men are drunkards ; but you must 
take into consideration that there is a moral here — that a moral 
point is involved : they are worthless now, but, when settled on 
new land, they may all at once turn into good subjects. There 
have been plenty of examples of that sort, not only in the world 
itself, but also in history." 

" Never, never ! " said the director of the imperial factories ; 
"and believe me, it never can be: for Tchitchikoff's serfs will 
now have two powerful enemies. The first enemy will be their 
proximity to the Little Russian provinces, where the sale of 
wine is freely allowed. I assure you, that in two weeks' time 
they will have drunk themselves to death. The other enemy 
will be the habit of a vagabond life, which they must infallibly 
acquire during the process of removal. It will be necessary for 
Tchitchikoff to keep them constantly before his eyes, and to 
govern them with all due strictness ; punish them for each 
shortcoming, and not depute this to any other person, but slap 
their faces and whip them himself, whenever it is required." 

" Why must Tchitchikoff administer castigation in person ? 
He might find an overseer." 

" Yes, find an overseer who can ! Overseers are all rascals ! " 

"Rascals, because the master does not occupy himself with 
his affairs." 

"That is true," broke in several. "An owner ought to 
know something, at least, about the management of his estate, 
and be able to discriminate between people : then he would 
always have a good steward." 

But the director of the imperial factories declared that a good 
steward was not to be found for less than five thousand roubles. 
And then the president of the court said that one might be had 
for three thousand. But the director retorted, " Where will 
you find him ? In your own nose ? " Whereupon the president 
said, " No, not in my nose, but in this very district — namely, 
Piotr Piotrovitch Samoiloff : that's the overseer whom Tchitchi- 
koff needs for his moujiks." 

Many of the townspeople entered heartily into Tchitchikoff's 
position, and the difficulties of removing so large a number of 
serfs greatly alarmed them ; they even began to feel much 
afraid that a revolt should break out among such uneasy sub- 
jects as Tchitchikoff's serfs. Thereupon the chief of police 
remarked that there was no mutiny to be apprehended ; that 
the captain-ispravnik existed for the purpose of preventing any 
rising ; that, if the captain-ispravnik could not go himself, he 



THE GOVERNOR S BALL. 129 

need only send his cap, and that this cap alone would drive the 
serfs to the very localit)^ fixed upon for colonisation. Many 
staked their estates that this would exterminate the spirit of 
rebellion in Tchitchikoff's unruly peasants. Opinions varied 
greatly : some there were who pronounced in favour of military 
sternness and severity, even if it were a little excessive ; others 
counselled mildness. The chief of police remarked that a sacred 
responsibility now rested on TchitchikofF ; that the latter might 
become, in a certain sense, a father to his serfs, as he expressed 
it ; he might even lead them to a beneficent state of culture, and 
in this connection he spoke in laudatory terms of the Lancas- 
trian method of mutual instruction. 

In this manner did the townspeople discuss and talk the 
matter over, and many, moved by sympathy, even communi- 
cated their advice to TchitchikofF, and actually went so far as to 
offer a convoy for the safe transport of the peasants. Tchitchi- 
kofF thanked them for their advice, saying that he would not 
fail to adopt it in case of need, but he declined the escort in a 
decided manner, saying that it was not in the least necessary ; 
that the serfs whom he had purchased were of an exceedingly 
peaceable disposition ; that they were themselves very well 
disposed towards the idea of removal, and that no revolt could 
possibly arise among them under any circumstances whatever. 
All these discussions and expressions of opinion produced, how- 
ever, the very happiest results that TchitchikofF could possibly 
desire. They gave rise, in fact, to reports that he was neither 
more nor less than a great millionaire. The inhabitants of the 
town had already fallen heartily in love with Tchitchikoff, even 
without this, as we have seen in the first chapter ; but now, 
after all these rumours, they became still more deeply attached 
to him. Moreover, they were good-natured people, if the truth 
must be told, and lived together in harmony, treating each 
other in a friendly fashion vnth kind-hearted simplicity and 
gentleness. They were also much given to hospitality, and the 
man who had tasted their bread and salt, or who had sat out an 
evening at whist with them, became, in a certain way, their 
relative ; and this was especially the case with Tchitchikofi\ 
with his engaging manners and qualities, for he was really pos- 
sessed of the great power of pleasing. They took such a fancy to 
him that he actually could not devise a means of tearing himself 
from the city ; all that he heard was, " Come, one little week ; 
live with us just one little week longer, Pavel Ivanovitch ! " In 
a word, he was petted to death, as the expression runs. 

And yet more worthy of note (indeed, a complete subject of 

I 



130 DEAD SOULS. 

surprise) was the impression whicli TcliitcbikofF produced on 
the ladies. Previously they had had very little to say about 
him, although they had done him full justice, so far as his 
agreeable manners in society were concerned ; however, from 
the instant when reports as to his being a millionaire became 
current, they discovered other qualities in him. The ladies 
were not in the least interested parties, however : the word 
"millionaire" was to blame for it all. Not the millionaire 
himself, but simply the word ; for there is something about 
the very sound of this word, more than about any money-bag, 
which produces an effect equally on rascally people, on people 
who are neither one thing nor the other, and upon good 
people — in short, it takes effect upon everybody. The million- 
aire has this advantage — that he can see baseness — pure, 
utterly disinterested baseness — founded upon no calculations 
whatever. Many know very well that they will receive nothing 
from him, and that thay have no right to receive anything ; but 
they will infallibly anticipate his desires, laugh, pull off their 
hats, and force an invitation for themselves to the dinner where 
they know that the millionaire is asked. It is impossible to assert 
that this tender leaning towards baseness was experienced by 
the ladies: still, there were many drawing-rooms where they 
began to say, that, of course, Tchitchikoflf was not such a very 
handsome man, but that he possessed the exact amount of good 
looks which are requisite in a man ; that if he had been a little 
thicker or fatter, it would have been unbecoming. In this con- 
nection something was said about a thin man which was of a 
rather offensive character, — that he was in the nature of a tooth- 
pick, and indeed not a man at all. Additions of various sorts 
were made to the attire of the ladies. There was a throng and 
almost a crush in the bazaar; and a procession was even formed, 
to such a degree had equipages flocked there. The merchants 
were amazed to find that some pieces of goods which they had 
brought from the yearly fair, and which they had not been able 
to get rid of on account of their rather high price, had now come 
into fashion all at once, and that customers fairly tore them 
from each other's hands. One dame was observed during mass 
to have such a train to her dress, that it monopolised half the 
church, so that the chief of police of the district, who chanced 
to be present, gave orders that the common people were to move 
farther off — that is to say, nearer to the vestibule — in order that . 
her excellency's robes might not be damaged. 

Even Tchitchikoff himself could not but observe this unusual 
attention to some extent. Once, on returning home, he found 



THE GOVERNOR S BALL. 131 

a letter on his table. Whence it had come, and "who had 
brought it, it was impossible to discover. The inn servant 
simply declared that it had been brought there, and that ho had 
been told not to mention by whom. This letter began in very 
decided terms, as follows : " Yes, I must write to you ! " Then 
something was said about the existence of a secret sympathy 
between souls. This truth was enforced by some points of 
exclamation which took up nearly half a line. Then followed 
some remarks which were so very striking, that we consider it 
indispensable to quote them : " What is our life ? A vale in 
■which sorrows have taken up their abode." " What is the 
world ■? A throng of people without feeling." The writer then 
informed him that she was bedewing with her tears some lines 
traced by her tender mother, who had been dead for twenty-five 
years. Next she invited Tchitchikoff to go with her to the 
wilderness ; to abandon for ever the city, where people could not 
benefit by the air in their stifling quarters. The end of the 
letter expressed absolute despair, and it concluded with these 
words : — 

" Two turtle-doves will show thee 
My ashes cold and dried ; 
With yearning coos will tell thee, 
That 'twas, alas ! in tears I died." 

The last line would not scan, but that mattered nothing : the 
letter was composed in the taste of the period. There was no 
signature : neither was there name or sui'name, nor even the 
month or date. The writer merely added in the postscript that 
Tchitchikofl*'s own heart must divine who had penned it, and 
that the original would be present at the governor's ball, which 
was to take place on the morrow. 

This interested him greatly. There was something so attrac- 
tive about this Anonyma, something which appealed so strongly 
.to his curiosity, that he read her epistle for a second, and even 
for a third time, and finally said, " Well, I am curious to know 
who wrote such a thing ! " In a word, the matter had evidently 
become serious : he pondered and thought it over for more than 
an hour ; at last, flinging open his arms, and dropping his head, 
he said, " That letter is very, very fancifully written ! " Then, 
of course, the letter was folded up, and laid away in his dressing 
case, in company with some theatre-bills and a wedding invita- 
tion, which he had preserved for seven years in the same 
position and the same place. A little later, indeed, an invi- 
tation to a ball at the governor's was brought to him — a matter 
of very common occurrence in' provincial towns. Wherever 



132 DEAD SOULS. 

there is a governor, balls are given ; otherwise the proper alle- 
giance and respect of the nobility could not be maintained. 

Our hero's appearance at the ball produced a remarkable 
effect. Every one who was present turned to greet him, — one 
with his hand full of cards ; another at the most interesting 
point in a conversation, just as he was saying, " But the lower 
district judge replied to that " — But whatever the district judge 
did reply, it was flung on one side, and the speaker hastened 
forward with a welcome for our hero : " Pavel Ivanovitch ! 
Ah, my Heavens ! Dear Pavel Ivanovitch ! Most respected 
Pavel Ivanovitch ! My soul, Pavel Ivanovitch! Here you are, 
Pavel Ivanovitch ! Here he is, our Pavel Ivanovitch ! Permit 
me to press your hand, Pavel Ivanovitch ! Give him here : I 
will kiss him as fervently as possible, my precious Pavel Ivano- 
vitch ! " Tchitchikoff found himself in the embrace of several 
persons at once. He had not succeeded in wholly freeing him- 
self from the embrace of the president of the court, when he 
found himself in that of the chief of police ; then the chief of 
police handed him over to the inspector of the medical insti- 
tution ; the inspector of the medical institution to the. brandy 
farmer ; the brandy farmer to the architect. The governor, who 
was at that moment standing beside a lady, and holding in |one 
hand a bonbon motto and a Bolognese spaniel, flung both motto 
and spaniel on the floor as soon as he caught sight of him, 
whereupon the dog set up a howl. In a word, our hero shed 
abroad great joy and mirth. Upon every countenance there 
beamed either satisfaction or at least the reflection of the 
universal satisfaction. Thus it is with the faces of oflicials 
during their superior's visits of inspection, after their first fear 
has passed off, when they perceive that the state of things 
satisfies him, and when he has at last been graciously pleased 
to jest ; that is, to say a few words with an amiable smirk. 
The officials who find themselves close to him laugh in double 
measure at this ; even those who have but barely heard the 
words which he has uttered, laugh; and, last of all, a man 
who stands afar off, near the door, at the very entrance, per- 
haps, — some police-officer, who has never laughed all his life 
since his birth, and who, hitherto, has only shown his fist to 
the people, — even he, by the irresistible law of reflection ex- 
hibits some sort of a smile, although this smile may resemble 
the expression on the face of a man who is on the point of 
sneezing after a pinch of strong snuff'. 

\^ Our hero replied to each and all, and was conscious of his 
unusual skill ; he bowed to right and to left, somewhat on ope 






\ "^ jOfi^'^^ 



THE GOVERNOR S 15ALL. 133 

side, according to his custom, but with perfect ease, so that he 
enchanted everyone. The ladies immediately surrounded him 
in a glittering garland, and brought with them a perfect cloud 
of every sort of perfume : one breathed forth roses, another 
smelt of spring and violets, a third was thoroughly permeated 
with mignonette. Tchitchikofl' simply raised his nose in the 
air, and snified. There was a great variety of taste exhibited in 
the ladies' costumes : their muslins and satins were of such pale, 
fashionable colours, that it is impossible to put names to them ; 
bands of ribbon, and bouque^ of llowers, fluttered here and 
there on the dresses, in the most picturesque disorder, although 
many a very orderly head had laboured over this disorder ; 
the airy head-dresses only clung on by one ear, so to speak, and 
seemed to say, " Ei, I shall fly away ! 'tis a pity that I cannot 
bear my beauty away with me ! " The ladies' bodices, more- 
over, fitted them tightly, and presented the most vigorous and 
pleasing forms to the eye. 

It is necessary to state, that all the ladies of N were 

rather plump ; but they laced themselves so artfully, and had 
such agreeable ways, that their rotundity was not noticed at all. 
Everything about their appearance had been the subject of 
great thought, attention, and care : their necks and shoulders 
were uncovered just as much as was necessary, and not a bit 
more ; each one exhibited her possessions up to that point 
where, according to her own convictions, she felt persuaded 
that they were fitted to enslave the men : all the rest was 
concealed with remarkable taste ; either some adornment of 
ribbon, and lighter than the little puffs which are called 
"kisses," encircled the neck in an ethereal way, or else little 
vandyked layers of thin cambric, known under the name of 
"modesties," emerged from the dress behind the shoulders. 
These " modesties " covered certain things both behind and 
before which were not calculated to make a man feel unhappy, 
while, at the same time, they made him suspect the existence of 
the destroying objects. Long gloves were drawn up almost to 
the sleeves, but deliberately left bare the attractive portions of 
the arms above the elbows, many of which were of an enviable 
plumpness : in some cases the kid gloves had burst, while being 
encouraged to ascend higher. In short, it seemed as though on 
all of them was written, " This is not the provinces; this is 
the capital; this is Paris itself!" Only here and there did 
some head-dress, hitherto unseen upon earth, thrust itself 
forward, or even some feather, possibly a peacock's, arranged 
quite in opposition to the fashion, and in accordance with indi- 



134 DEAD SOULS. 

vidual taste. But this is not to be avoided ; such is the nature 
of a provincial town ; it will infallibly break out in some spot or 
other. 

However, as Tchitchikoff stood before the ladies he wondered, 
" But which one of them is the wi'iter of that letter? " And 
then he thrust his nose forward to look more attentively ; 
directly before it there was an array of elbows, trimmings, 
sleeves, ends of ribbons, perfumed tuckers and gowns. The 
gallopade was being danced at a furious rate : the wife of the 
postmaster, the captaifi-ispravnik, a lady with a blue feather, a 
lady with a white feather, the Georgian Prince Tchipkhaikhilid- 
zefi", an official from Petersburg, an official from Moscow, a 
Frenchman,— Coucou, — Perkhunovsky, Berebendovsky, they 
all had risen and joined in. 

Tchitchikoff soon became utterly bewildered in his efforts to 
decide which of the ladies was the writer of the letter. On en- 
deavouring to fix a penetrating glance on the women, he became 
aware, that, on their part, something was being expressed which 
sent both hope and sweet pain deep down into the heart of a 
poor mortal, so that he said at last, "No, it is utterly impos- 
sible to guess." This did not, however, in any way diminish the 
cheerful frame of mind in which he found himself. He ex- 
changed a few agreeable words with the ladies, in an easy and 
skilful manner ; approached one and another with a tripping, 
mincing gait, as is generally done by little old dandies on their 
high heels, which are called "mice's horses," as they trip 
briskly among the ladies. After tripping to right and left with 
skilful turns, he gave a scrape of the foot in the shape of a short 
tail, or a comma. The ladies were greatly pleased, and not only 
discovered in him a large number of amiable and agreeable 
qualities, but began to perceive a noble expression on his counte- 
nance — something martial and warlike — which, as it is well 
known, is extremely pleasing to women. They even began to 
quarrel a little over him. On perceiving that he tarried near the 
door, some of them made haste to occupy seats as close to the 
door as possible ; and when one of them succeeded in effecting 
this before the others, there all but ensued an exceedingly 
unpleasant scene ; and many who would have liked to do 
the same thing themselves, found such boldness extremely 
shocking. 

Tchitchikoff" was so occupied by his conversation with the 
ladies, or, rather, the ladies so occupied and surrounded him 
with their conversation, indulging in a vast number of the best- 
planned and refined allegories, which all were bound to guess, 



THE GOVERNOR S BALL. 135 

and which made the perspiration start out upon his brow, that he 
forgot to comply with the requirements of politeness, and ad- 
dress his hostess first of all. He only recalled it when he heard 
the voice of the governor's wife, who had been standing before 
him for some moments already. This lady said to him, in a 
rather flattering and roguish voice, with an amiable shake of the 
head, " Ah, Pavel Ivanovitch, so you are here ! " 

It is impossible to reproduce the next words of the governor's 
wife with accuracy, but something amiable was said by her in the 
spirit in which the ladies and cavaUers express themselves in 
the novels of our society writers — those gentlemen who are so 
fond of describing drawing-rooms, and who plume themselves on 
their knowledge of the highest " tone " — something in the strain 
of, " Have the others taken such possession of your heart that 
there is no longer any room in it, not even the smallest corner, 
for those whom you have so pitilessly forgotten ? " Our hero 
instantly turned to the governor's wife, and was on the point of 
making her a reply which would probably have proved in no wise 
inferior to those which are perpetrated in fashionable novels by 
the Zvouskys, Linskys, Lidins, Gremins, and all the other 
clever military men, when, chancing to raise his eyes unexpec- 
tedly, he suddenly paused, as though benumbed. 

The governor's wife was not standing alone before him : she 
held by the hand a young girl of sixteen — a fresh blonde, with 
delicate and well-formed features : a little pointed chin, a be- 
witchingly rounded, oval face, such as an artist would have 
chosen as a model for the Madonna, and such as is rarely en- 
countered in Russia, where everything is fond of appearing in 
broad forms — mowiitains and forests and steppes, and faces and 
lips and feet — the v%yy little blonde whom he had met on the 
highway as he was* leaving Nozdreft"s, when, through the 
stupidity of their coachmen, or of their horses, their equipages 
had come so strangely into collision, so entangling the harness 
that uncle Mityai and uncle Minyai had had to straighten mat- 
ters. Tchitchikoff now became so confused that he could not 
utter a single suitable word ; indeed he muttered — the deuce 
knows what, but something which neither a Gremin, nor a 
Zvonsky, nor a Lidin Avould have said. 

" You do not know my daughter yet," said the gover- 
nor's wife ; " she is a school-girl, and has only just returned 
home." 

But our hero replied that he had already had the unexpected 
pleasure of making her acquaintance. Then he tried to add 
something more, but failed. The governor's wife said two or 



136 DEAD SOUI.S. 

three words, and then went off with her daughter to the other 
end of the apartment to her other guests : while Tchitchikoff 
continued to stand motionless in the same place, like a man who 
has gone cheerfully out into the street in order to take a walk, 
with eyes disposed to look at everything, and who has suddenly 
stopped stockstill, as though he had forgotten something. More 
stupid than that man no one can possibly be. In an instant 
his agreeable expression has vanished from his face : he strives 
to recollect what it is that he has forgotten. Is it his handker- 
chief ? No, his handkerchief is in his pocket. Is it his money ? 
But no, his money is also in his pocket. He seems to have every- 
thing about him ; and yet some unknown spirit whispers to him, 
in his ear, that he has forgotten something. And so he gazes 
abstractedly and gloomily at the moving throng before him — at 
the flying equipages; at the caps and guns of a passing regi- 
ment ; at a sign-board ; and withal he sees nothing distinctly. 
Thus also did Tchitchikoff become a stranger to all that was 
going on around him. At this same moment, a multitude of 
hints and questions, all full of refinement and amiability, were 
being addressed to him by the perfumed mouths of the ladies : 
"Is it permitted to us poor dwellers on the earth to be so bold 
as to ask you what you are thinking about ? " " Where lie those 
blissful regions in which your thoughts are hovering ? " " May 
we know the name of her who has plunged you into this sweet 
valley of meditation ? " 

However, our hero replied carelessly, their agreeable phrases 
being as much wasted as though they had been cast into the 
water. He was even so impolite that he speedily deserted 
them, and went away to another part of the room, being 
desirous of seeing where the governor's wife had gone with her 
daughter. But the ladies, it appeared, were not willing to re- 
lease him so quickly. Each one of them inwardly resolved to 
employ all those feminine weapons which are so dangerous to 
our hearts, and to set all their best devices in motion. Each 
of them took an inward vow that she would be as fascinating as 
possible in the dance, and show off her best points in all their 
brilliancy. The postmaster's wife, as she waltzed, drooped her 
head on one side in a very languishing way, as though she really 
were listening to something supernatural. One extremely charm- 
ing woman, who had not come with any intention of dancing — 
being precluded, as she herself expressed it, by a little incom- 
modity in the shape of a small corn on her right foot, in conse- 
quence of which she had even been forced to don soft shoes — 
could not resist, however, but took a few turns in her cloth 



THE GOVERNOR S BALL. 137 

foot-geai-, simply to prevent the postmaster's wife from getting 
too many conceited ideas into her head. 

However all this by no means produced upon Tchitchikoff the 
effect which the women had relied upon. He did not even 
glance at the circle thus formed ; but, rising incessantly on tip- 
toe, he gazed over their heads, in endeavour to see where the 
fascinating blonde had gone. He also bent down, and stared 
between their backs and shoulders ; and at length he caught 
sight of his charmer, sitting beside her mother, over whom 
something in the nature of an Oriental turban with a feather 
was waving very grandly. Then it seemed as though our hero 
wanted to take his beauty by storm. Either the spring weather 
■was taking effect upon him, or someone pushed him from be- 
hind ; at all events, he made his way forward with great deci- 
■ sion, and paying no heed to anyone. The farmer of the brandy 
revenues received such a thrust from him that he tottered, and 
barely held his own on one foot ; indeed, had it not been for 
this, he would most assuredly have knocked down a whole row 
of people. The postmaster also stepped back, and stared at our 
friend in amazement, mingled with delicate irony ; but Tchitchi- 
koff never glanced at him : he only saw the little blonde, pull- 
ing on a long glove, in the distance, and doubtless burning 
with a wish to launch her flight over the waxed floor. Four 
couples had already begun the mazurka in one corner : their 
heels tapped the floor ; and a staff-captain was toilmg with 
mind and body, with arms and legs, executing such steps 
as no one else ever executed, even in a dream. Tchitchikoff 
slipped past the mazurka, almost on the dancers'*very heels, 
and made straight for the spot where sat the governor's wife 
and her daughter. Still he finally approached them very 
timidly, and became confused, exhibiting a certain awkwardness 
in all his movements. 

It is impossible to say with certainty whether the sentiment 
of love had been awakened in our hero : it is even a matter of 
doubt whether gentlemen of that description — that is to say, 
gentlemen who are neither fat nor thin — are capable of loving. 
Nevertheless, there was something strange about this, — some- 
thing which he could not very well explain to himself : it seemed 
to him, as he afterwards confessed to himself, that the whole 
ball, with all its chatter and noise, had, for several minutes, 
retreated far into the distance ; the fiddles and horns had 
sounded from somewhere beyond the mountains ; and all was 
covered with a misty veil, like a carelessly painted field in a 
picture ; and from out of this misty and negligently sketched 



133 DEAD SOULS. 

background there stood out, clear and Avell defined, the delicate 
features of the charming blonde : her little oval face ; her slender, 
very slender form, — such as girls retain for the first few months 
after they are released from school ; her white and almost plain 
gown, which clothed her slight, shapely young limbs so lightly 
and gracefully, defining them in pure outlines. She seemed to 
him like some admirable toy cleverly turned from ivory : 
she alone stood out white, transparent, and bright from amid 
the troublous opaque throng. 

Evidently, this is the way things go on in the world ; evi- 
dently, even Tchitchikofi's are converted into poets for a few 
minutes in the course of their lives. Perhaps, though, the word 
poet is too strong. At all events, he felt himself like something 
in the nature of a young man — almost a hussar. Perceiving 
an empty chair beside the young beauty, he desired to take 
possession of it. The conversation did not make much progress 
at first, but afterwards it went very well ; and he even began to 
produce an efi"ect. In fact, the little blonde actually began to 
yawn while our hero was telling his tales. He did not notice it 
in the least, however ; but he related a number of agreeable 
things, which he had already told on similar occasions, in 
various places. 

All the ladies were now thoroughly displeased with Tchitchi- 
koff's behaviour. One of them walked past him, expressly for 
the purpose of letting him see how she felt, and even brushed 
the little blonde, in a very impertinent manner, with the heavy 
rouleau of her dress, and so arranged the scarf which was flutter- 
ing about her shoulders, that the end of it flourished into the 
girl's face ; at the same moment, there proceeded from the mouth 
of some ladies in the rear a very biting and vicious remark, in 
company with an odour of violets. But he either did not hear 
it, or pretended that he did not ; and this was not right, for the 
opinions of ladies should be prized. He repented of this, but 
later on, and consequently, too late. 

Indignation, which was perfectly just in every respect, now 
took possession of the ladies, and was depicted on their faces. 
However great may have been Tchitchikoff's weight in society, 
although he was a millionaire, and nobility was expressed — and 
even something martial and military — on his countenance, yet 
there are things which ladies will not forgive any man for, be he 
who he may; and when that is the case — why, there's the 
end of him. There are cases when a woman, however weak 
and insipid her character may be, in comparison with that of a 
man, suddenly becomes firmer not only than a man, but firmer 



THE governor's BALL. ]29 

than anything in the whole world. The scorn expressed, almost 
unintentionally, by Tchitchikoff, restored among the ladies that 
spirit of concord which had almost vanished, in consequence of 
their mutual jealousy. The few dry and commonplace words 
which they involuntarily uttered contained sharp insinuations. 
To complete the disaster, one of the young men composed on 
the spot some of those satirical verses about the dancers, without 
which, as is well known, hardly any provincial ball passes off. 
These verses were instantly attributed to Tchitchikoff. The 
indignation waxed fiercer, and the ladies began to talk about 
him in the various corners, in the most unpleasant manner ; as 
for the poor schoolgirl, she was utterly annihilated, and sen- 
tence was pronounced upon her at once. 

But in the meantime, a surprise of the most disagreeable sort 
was in preparation for our hero. At the very moment when 
the pretty blonde was yawning, and he was relating to her various 
incidents which had happened to him at divers times, and even 
touching lightly on the Greek philosopher Diogenes, Nozdreff" 
made his appearance from the last room in the suite. He was 
in a joyous, merry mood, and came arm in arm with the pro- 
curator, whom he had probably been dragging about for some 
time already ; for the poor procurator was bending his heavy 
brows in every direction, as though endeavouring to devise 
some means of ridding himself of this friendly promenade. In 
fact, it was intolerable. NozdreH' had sipped courage with two 
cups of tea, with rum, of course, and had been lying unmerci- 
fully. On catching sight of him at a distance, Tchitchikofi' even 
made up his mind to a sacrifice — that is, to abandon his enviable 
position, and to effect as speedy a retreat as possible ; for this 
encounter boded no good to him. But as ill-luck would have it, 
the governor came up at that moment, expressed extraordinary, 
delight at having found Pavel Ivanovitch, and detained him, 
begging him to act as judge in a dispute of his with two ladies 
on the question, " Whether woman's love were lasting, or not ?" 
However, in the meantime, Nozdreff" had caught sight of our 
hero, and made straight for him. 

"Ah, ah! the Ivhersonese landowner ! the Khersonese land- 
owner! " he shouted, marching up, and bursting into a laugh, 
which made his cheeks, fresh and glowing as a rose in spring, 
quiver: " How now '? have you bought any more dead souls ? 
Surely, you do not know, your excellency," he screamed, turn- 
ing to the governor: "this man deals in dead souls! By 
Heavens ! Listen, Tchitchikoff : you know that I am speaking 
out of friendship, for you and I are friends, and his excellency 



140 DEAD SOULS. 

here also. I would like to liang you, by Heavens, I'd like to 
hang you ! " 

Tcbitchikoff did not know where he was. 

"Will you believe it, your excellency?" went on Nozdreff: 
" he said to me, ' Sell me your dead souls ; ' and I fairly burst vnth 
laughter ! I come here, and I am told that he has purchased 
three million roubles' worth of serfs for colonisation. Colonisa- 
tion, indeed ! he tried to buy dead souls of me. Listen, Tcbit- 
chikoff : you're a fraud, by Heavens, a fraud ! Here's his ex- 
cellency here. — It's true, isn't it, procurator?" 

But the procurator, Tcbitcbikoft", and even the governor him- 
self, were in such confusion, that they found absolutely nothing 
whatever to say ; and in the meantime, Nozdreff, paying not the 
least heed to them, continued his half-drunken speech : " Wait, 
my good fellow, you, you^ — I shall not leave you until I find 
out why you were buying dead souls. Listen, Tcbitchikoff, you 
really ought to be ashamed of yourself ! You know yourself 
that you have no better friend than I. And here's his excel- 
lency. It's true, isn't it, procurator? You cannot conceive, 
your excellency, how we are bound up in each other ; that is, it 
is simply as though you were to say, here, — I stand here, and 
you ask, ' Nozdreff, tell me on your conscience, which is dearer 
to you, your own father, or Tcbitchikoff?" Well, I should 
answer, ' Tcbitchikoff, by Heavens ! ' Permit me, my soul, 
I will give you one kiss. — Pardon me, your excellency; but I 
must kiss bim. — Yes, Tcbitchikoff ;. now don't resist ; allow me 
to imprint just one little kiss vipon thy snow-white cheek !" 

Nozdreff was so vigorously repulsed, however, as he at- 
tempted to bestow his kiss, that he came near flying full- 
length on the floor. Everyone bad retreated from him, and 
listened no more. But his remarks about dead souls had been 
uttered at the top of his voice, and had been accompanied by 
such boisterous laughter, that they had attracted the attention, 
even of those who were in the most remote corners of the room. 
This news seemed so terrible, that all paused with a sort of 
wooden, stupidly interrogative expression on their faces. Tcbit- 
chikoff observed that several of the ladies winked at each other, 
with a malicious, biting smile ; and there was an equivocal 
expression oh some of their faces which still further increased 
his confusion. 

That Nozdreff was a notorious liar was known to all ; and 
the most utter nonsense from him would not have been the 
slightest novelty : but mortal man — truly, it is hard to under- 
stand how a mortal is constructed : no matter wbat a saying 



THE governor's BALL. 141 

may be, so long as it is a novelty, he instantly communicates it to 
another mortal, if only for the sake of saying, " Just see what 
lies are disseminated! " and the other mortal inclines his ear 
with pleasure, although he himself afterwards says, " Why, that 
is a stupid lie, which is not worth noticing ! " and then he in- 
stantly sets out to seek a third mortal, tells him all about it, and 
then they both exclaim, with noble indignation, " What a stupid 
lie ! " And all this will infallibly go the rounds of the whole 
town ; and all the mortals therein, no matter what their number 
may be, will inevitably talk their fill, and then confess that it 
deserves no attention and is not worth talking about. 

This apparently trivial incident visibly disturbed our hero. 
No matter how stupid a fool's words may be, they are oflen 
sulficient to perturb a sensible man. Tchitchikoflf began to feel 
awkward and out of place ; it was exactly as though a beauti- 
fully cleaned boot had been suddenly plunged into a muddy, 
evil-smelling puddle ; in short, it was unpleasant, very unpleasant 
indeed. He tried not to think of it ; he endeavoured to divert 
his thoughts, to enjoy himself: he sat down to the whist-table, 
but everything went crooked. Twice he made a mistake in the 
suit, and, forgetting that one does not deal to one's self third, 
he gave a flourish with his hands, and proceeded. The president 
of the court could not in the least comprehend how it was that 
Pavel Ivanovitch, who knew how to play so well, and, one 
might even say, delicately, could make such mistakes, and had 
even sacrificed his king of spades, upon which, to use his own 
expression, he, the president, had relied as upon a stone wall. 
Finally, the postmaster and the president, and even the chief of 
police, as was proper, began to jest over our hero, to say that 
he was in love, that " We know all about it : Pavel Ivanovitch's 
heart is bad, and we know by whom it has been wounded." 
However, all this did not console him in the least, try as he 
would to laugh and to jest in return. He was not even in a state 
to unbend at supper, although the company at table was very 
agreeable, and Nozdrefi'had been led away long before ; for even 
the ladies had at length perceived that his conduct had been 
quite too scandalous. In the middle of the cotillion, he had 
seated himself on the floor, and began to catch at the skirts of 
the feminine dancers, which, to use the ladies' expression, was 
unlike anything else that had ever been heard of. 

The supper was very gay : but Tchitchikoflf did not even 
await the end of it ; he went home much earlier than it was his 
custom to go. There, in his little chamber, which is so familiar to 
the reader, with some drawers half blocking up the door, and some 



142 DEAD SOULS. 

•beetles peeping out of the corners now and then, his thoughts 
and spirits became as uncomfortable as the uncomfortable arm- 
chair in which he sat. There was a troubled, disagreeable 
sensation at his heart : a sort of heavy void. " May the deuce 
take all those who originated balls ! " he said angrily. " Now, 
what the Fiend is there to make merry about ? There are bad 
crops and high prices all over the government, and yet they 
must needs have a ball. Eh, a pretty affair, truly ! " 

While our friend was sitting in his uncomfortable arm-chair 
busied with his thoughts, the tallow candle burned on before 
him, its light long since obscured by its long black wick and 
threatening to go out every instant ; while through the window, 
the dull, dark night peeped in at him on the point of turning 
blue with the approaching dawn ; for the cocks already crowed 
afar. At this very hour, too, in another quarter of the town, an 
incident was taking place which was destined to increase the 
unpleasantness of our hero's position. 

Along the distant streets and alleys there rattled a very 
singular equipage, which aroused doubt within one's mind as to 
its proper nomenclature. It did not resemble a tarantas, nor a 
calash, nor a britchka : it was more like a swollen, fat-cheeked 
watermelon set upon wheels. The sides of the watermelon — 
that is to say, the doors, which bore traces of yellow paint — 
closed very badly, on account of the dilapidated condition of the 
handles and locks ; so they were secured with strings. The 
watermelon was filled with chintz pillows, sacks of grain, 
kalatchi,'^' hokwrld, skorodumJd, and cracknels of raised dough. 
A chicken-pie and a pasty filled with pickled cucumbers even 
peeped out on the top ; while the foot-board was occupied by an 
individual of the lackey species, clad in a short round jacket of 
variegated home-made stuff, and an unkempt pepper and salt 
beard, an individual of the sort known by the appellation of 
vialui.f 

The rattle and squeak of the iron clamps and the rusty screws 
as the vehicle passed along, awakened a watchman quite at the 
other end of the town, and this fellow, raising his halberd, 
shouted at the top of his voice through his sleep, " Who goes 
there?" but perceiving at last that no one was going past him, 
and that there was only a rattling in the distance, he shook him- 
self by his collar, made of some sort of wild beast's skin, and, 
stepping up to his lantern, he chastised it thoroughly. Then, 

* Meat patties. 

t " Boy," in the sense of servant, regardless of age, just as a negro 
was formerly called a "boy " in the South of the United States, 



THE EMOTIOIS'S OF A SMALL TOAVX. 143 

quitting bis halberd once more, be went to sleep again, accord- 
to tbe laws of bis order of cbivalry. Meanwbile tbe borses of 
tbe watermelon coacb bad fallen down more tban once, for 
tbey were not sbod ; and, besides it was evident tbat tbe ancient 
pavement of tbe town was not familiar to tbem. Tbe kuhiiinaiia,''- 
after making several turns from street to street, finally drove 
into an obscure lane leading past tbe little parish church of 
St. Nikolai, and baited before the gate of tbe protopope's house. 
From the vehicle then descended a maidservant wearing a ker- 
chief and a tyeJofjryel(a.\ She knocked at tbe gate with both 
fists as vigorously as though she bad been a man. Then the 
dogs began to bark ; and finally the gates, opening, ingulfed, 
although with great difiiculty, this clumsy travelling convey- 
ance. 

Tbe equipage entered a small courtyard, which was full of 
wood, chicken-coops, and cages ; from tbe equipage then 
emerged a lady, who was none other than our friend the widow 
of tbe collegiate secretary Korobotcbok. Shortly after our 
hero's departure, she had become so uneasy with regard to 
any possible trickery on bis part, tbat, after losing her sleep for 
three nights in succession, she bad made up her mind to go to 
town herself, and this despite the fact tbat her horses were not 
sbod. She meant to find out definitely what dead souls were 
good for, and whether she bad not committed a blunder, which 
God forbid, in selling them, perchance, too cheaply. The 
eventual result of her arrival in town will be learnt by the 
reader from a conversation which took place soon afterwards 
between two ladies. We will give this conversation in the next 
chapter. 



CHAPTER IX. 

THE EMOTIONS OF A SMALL TOWN. 

Ix the morning, even at an earlier hour than was suitable for 
visits, a lady in an elegant plaid cloak emerged from tbe door of 
an orange-coloured wooden mansion with blue columns, accom- 
panied by a lackey in a coat with numerous capes, and a gold 
band on his glossy round hat. 
[ * An ugly, heavy, old-fashioned coach. f A short, wann jacket. 



144 DEAD SOULS. 

The lady, "with remarkable haste, entered a calash which 
stood at the entrance. The lackey immediately slammed the 
door after her, put up the steps, and, seizing the strap behind, 
called out to the coachman, "Drive on ! " The lady had just 
learned some news, and she felt an unconquerable desire to 
impart it to her friends. She looked out of the window every 
instant, and saw, to her indescribable vexation, that she was 
still only half way to her destination. Every house seemed 
longer to her than usual : the white stone hospital, with its 
narrow windows, dragged out to an interminable length, so that 
at last she could not restrain her impatience, but said, " There's 
no end to that cursed building ! " Twice did the coachman 
receive the order, "Faster, faster, Andriushka ! You drive 
intolerably slow to-day ! " Finally, however, the lady reached 
her destination. The calash halted before a one-story wooden 
house of a dark gray hue, with white bas-reliefs over the 
windows, a lofty wooden grating before the windows, and a 
narrow palisade in front, behind which some slender trees 
gleamed white with the city dust which never left them. In the 
windows of the house some pots of flowers were to be seen, 
together with a parrot swinging in a cage, and clinging to 
his ring with his beak, and there were also two poodles lying 
asleep in the sunshine. In this house dwelt a feminine friend 
of the lady who had just driven up. For various reasons we 
prefer to call this friend by the nickname which Avas almost 

universally accorded to her in the town of N ; namely, 

" The charming lady." She had acquired this cognomen in a 
legitimate manner ; for indeed she spared no pains to make 
herself extremely agreeable. 

Still, amid all her amiability there certainly did peep out some 
disagreeable traits, and at times her gracious words pricked one 
most unmercifully. However everything was dispensed with 
a refined art such as is only met with in provincial towns. 
Each of her movements was tasteful ; she was very fond of 
poetry; she even knew how to hold her head in a dreamy way ; 
and everyone agreed that she was really charming in every 
respect. 

But the other lady — that is to say, the visitor — was not so 
many-sided in character, so we will simply call her " the nice 
lady." The arrival of this visitor awakened the poodles, who were 
slumbering in the sun — shaggy Adele and the thin-legged male 
puppy, Potpourri. Both carried their curled tails into the ante- 
room, where the visitor had freed herself of her cloak, and 
stood in a gown of fashionable pattern and coloui'. There was 



THE EMOTIONS OF A SMALL TOWN. 145 

a long scarf about her neck, and an odour of jasmine was wafted 
through the room. No sooner had the charming lady heard of 
the arrival of her friend, the nice lady, than she ran out into the 
ante-room. The ladies seized each other by the hand, kissed 
each other, and screamed as schoolgirls scream when they 
meet shortly after their release from their studies, and before 
their mammas have succeeded in explaining to them that the 
father of one suitor is poorer and of lower rank than the other. 
The kisses were very loud, so that the poodles began to bark 
again, for doing which they were switched with a handkerchief. 
Then both ladies betook themselves to the drawing-room, which 
was blue, of course, with a divan, an oval table, and even a plush- 
covered screen ; after them ran shaggy Adele and Potpourri on 
his slender legs. " Here, here, in this nice little corner ! " said 
the hostess, seating her guest in one corner of the sofa. " That's 
it, that's it ! Now, here's a cushion for you." So saying, she 
thrust behind the other's back a cushion, which had a knight 
worked upon it in wool, in the fashion in which such things 
are always worked on canvas : his nose projected like a stair- 
case, and his lips were square. " How glad I am that you 
have called," now resumed the charming lady. " I heai'd 
some one arrive, and I thought to myself, ' Who can it be 
so early ? ' Parasha suggested the wife of the vice-governor ; 
but I said to myself, ' "What ! has that fool come here to bore 
us again ? ' and I was on the point of saying that I was not at 
home." 

The visitor was certainly anxious to communicate her news 
at once ; but an exclamation which the charming lady uttered 
at that moment gave another turn to the conversation. 

" What a gay, pretty chintz ! " exclaimed the charming lady, 
gazing at the gown of the nice lady. 

" Yes, it is very gay. But Praskovya Feodorovna thinks that 
it would be better if the pattern were smaller, and if the dots 
were blue instead of light brown. I sent some other material to 
my sister : it's so lovely that it is simply impossible to describe 
it in words. Just imagine : some little stripes as fine as the 
human mind can conceive, a blue ground, and across the stripes, 
all over them in fact, a lot of dots and splashes, dots and splashes, 
dots and splashes, — in short, it is incomparable. I positively 
declare that there was never anything like it." 

" But my dear, that's motley." 

" Oh, no ! it's not." 

" Yes, it's motley." 

It must be stated that the charming lady was somewhat of a 

K 



146 DEAD SOULS. 

materialist, inclined to denial and doubt, and that she despised 
many things in life. However the nice lady again asserted that 
her material was not in the least degree motley, and exclaimed, 
"Dear me ! you are wearing gimp. Why, gimp is no longer worn." 

" "What ! it is not worn ? " 

" No : scallops are worn instead." 

" Scallops — ah, that's not nice at all! " 

"Scallops; everything is scallops; a pelerine scalloped at 
the edges, scalloped sleeves, scalloped epaulets, scallops below, 
scallops above, scallops, scallops everywhere." 

"That's not at all pretty, Sophia Ivanovna, if everything is 
scalloped." 

" Oh dear me, yes ; it is incredibly pretty, Anna Grigorievna. 
But how greatly surprised you will be to learn that bodices 
have grown still longer, and that the front is cut in a point. 
The skirts are quite round, like the old-fashioned farthingales ; 
and a little padding is even added behind, in order that one may 
look a fine woman." 

" "Well, that is nice, I must confess ! " said the charming lady, 
making a gesture of the head which was full of dignity. 

" Exactly : I confess that I like it,'' replied the nice lady. 

"Well, for myself, I shall not follow that fashion, on any 
account." 

" I also think — well really, when you consider what fashion 
does come to sometimes. I asked my sister for some patterns, 
just for the fun of the thing. My Melanie has already made 
herself a dress in the new style." 

" So you have some patterns ! " exclaimed the charming lady, 
not without a perceptible movement of anger. 

" Certainly : my sister sent them to me." 

" Give them to me, my soul, for the sake of all that's holy ! " 

" Alas ! I have already promised them to Prascovya Feodor- 
ovna. Perhaps you can have them after her." 

"Who will care to wear anything after Prascovya Feodor- 
ovna ! It's very strange that you should give the preference to 
strangers over your own friends." 

" But she is my aunt." 

" God knows what sort of an aunt she is to you — merely 
on the husband's side. No, Sophia Ivanovna, don't deny it ; I 
won't hear anything more ; you evidently meant to inflict this 
insult on me. It is plain that you wish to break off all acquaint- 
ance with me." 

Poor Sophia Ivanovna did not know what to do. She felt 
that she had placed herself between two vigorous tires. So 



THE EMOTIONS OF A SMALL TOWN. 117 

much for boastiug. She was ready to pull out her tongue to 
punish herself for her stupidity. 

" Well, and what about our delightful friend ? " asked the 
charming lady. 

" Ah, my Heavens ! Where is my poor head ? This is too 
good ! Of course you know, Anna Grigorievna, why I have 
come to see you this morning? " Here the visitor's breathing 
became oppressed ; and her companion retorted: " Praise and 
laud him as you like, but I say frankly, and I will say it to his 
face, that he is a Avorthless man — worthless, worthless, 
worthless ! " 

" But only listen while I disclose to you." 

" Rumours have been in circulation that he is handsome ; 
but he is not handsome at all : and his nose — why, it's a most 
disagreeable nose." 

"Permit me, only permit me to tell you, — my dearest Anna 
Grigorievna, permit me to tell you. This is really a story, a 
story I have to relate." 

" What sort of a story, pray ? " 

" Ah, Anna Grigorievna, my life ! if you could only conceive 
the situation in which I find myself Just imagine : this morn- 
ing the protopopess — the wife of Father Kirill — comes to me, 
and what do you think ? What sort of a fellow do you suppose 
our meek friend, our stranger, is, hey ? " 

" What ! Has he been paying court to the jjrotopopess ? " 

" Ah, Anna Grigorievna, if he only had been paying court to 
her, that would be nothing ! but listen to what the protopope's 
wife told me. She says that Mrs. Korobotchka, the land- 
owner, has come to her house, dreadfully frightened and as pale 
as death, and has told her — what has she not told her ! Only 
listen! it's a perfect romance: all of a sudden, in the dead of 
the night, when everybody was fast asleep in the house, there 
came a knock at the gate, — the most terrible knock that you 
can imagine ; there was a cry of, ' Open, open ! if you don't. 
I'll break down your gates ! ' How does that strike you ? What 
sort of a charmer is he after that ? " 

"But what is Mrs. Korobotchka like? Is she young and 
pretty ? " 

" Not in the least : she is an old woman." 

" Ah, delightful ! So he is crazy after an old woman ? Well, 
the taste of our ladies seems to be very nice : they have pitched 
upon a funny person to fall in love with." 

" Why, no, Anna Grigorievna, it's not at all as you think. 
But fancy, he presents himself armed from head to foot, like 



148 DEAD SOULS. 

Rinaldo Rinaldino, and makes this demand : ' Sell me all your 
souls that have died.' Then Mrs. Korobotchka replies very 
sensibly, and says, 'I cannot sell them, as they are dead.' — 
' No,' says he, ' they are not dead. It's my business to know,' 
says he, ' whether they are dead, or not ; and they're not dead, 
they're not dead ! ' he shouts, ' they're not dead ! ' In short, 
he behaves in a scandalous manner : the whole village runs up, 
the children cry, everybody shouts, no one can understand. 
Well, it was simply horrible ! horrible ! horrible ! But you can- 
not conceive, Anna Grigorievna, how upset I was when I heard 
all this. ' My dearest lady,' says the protopopess to me, * look 
in the glass, and see how pale you are.' — ' I don't want to look 
in the glass,' I said. ' I must go and tell Anna Grigorievna.' 
I ordered the calash that very instant. Andriushka, the coach- 
man, asked me where I was going ; but I could not utter a 
word, and I only stared in his face like a fool. I suppose he 
must have thought that I was crazy. Ah, Anna Grigorievna, if 
you only knew how it troubled me ! " 

"But this is very strange," said the charming lady; " what 
can those dead souls mean ? I must admit that I understand 
nothing whatever about it. This is the second time that I have 
heard something about dead souls ; and although my hus- 
band says that Nozdreflf lies, there is certainly something in it 
all." 

" But, Anna Grigorievna, imagine my position when I heard 
this. * And now,' says Mrs. Korobotchka, ' I do not know,' 
says she, ' what I am to do. He made me sign my name to 
some counterfeit document, and he flung a fifteen-rouble bank- 
note at me. I,' she says, ' I am an inexperienced, helpless 
widow. I know nothing.' Fine doings, indeed ! But if you 
could gain any conception of how completely I was upset ! " 

" But it can't be any question of dead souls : something else 
must be concealed behind. 

" I agree with you," said the nice lady, somewhat taken with 
this idea, and conscious of a strong desire to know what could 
possibly be concealed behind it all. She even slowly said," And 
what do you think is concealed in this case ? Come, what do 
you think ? " 

" But what do you yourself think ? " 

"What do I think? I confess that I am completely be- 
wildered," replied the nice lady. 

" Still, I should like to know your opinion on the subject." 
However the nice lady found nothing to say. She was 
capable of experiencing emotion, but she was not capable of 



THE EMOTIONS OF A SMALL TOWN. 149 

forming an accurate theory ; and for that reason she required, 
more than any other, tender friendly advice. 

" Well, listen to what these dead souls are," said the charm- 
ing lady ; and at these words her guest concentrated all her 
faculties on listening. Her little ears stretched forward of 
themselves ; she partly rose, so that she hardly rested on the 
sofa ; and, although she was rather heavy, she suddenly be- 
came thinner, and almost ethereal, like the down which floats 
in the air. 

" The dead souls — " began the charming lady. 

" Well, what are they ? what are they ? " broke in her visitor, 
in great excitement. 

" The dead souls — " 

" Ah, speak, for Heaven's sake ! " 

•' Were simply invented as a blind ; but this is the real mat- 
ter — he wants to carry off the governor's daughter." 

This conclusion was by no means expected by the visitor, and 
it was certainly remarkable in every respect. The nice lady, on 
heaving it, became transfigured on the spot, grew paler, pale as 
death, and felt actually alarmed. 

" Heavens ! " she exclaimed, clasping her hand=. " That is 
something which I should never have suspected ! " 

" Well, for myself, I guessed what the matter was as soon as 
you opened your mouth," replied the charming lady. 

"But what are we to think of the way young girls are 
trained at the Institute after this, Anna Grigorievna ? There's 
innocence for you ! " 

" Innocence indeed ! I have heard that she says such 
things as I should never have the courage to utter." 

" Do you know, Anna Grigorievna, it simply breaks one's 
heart to see to what a pitch immorality has already attained ! " 

" But all the men are wild about her, though I must confess 
that, to my mind, there is nothing in her." 

" She is intolerably affected." 

" Ah, my life, Anna Grigorievna ; she is a statue, and there 
is not a particle of expression in her face." 

" Yes, how affected, how affected she is ! Heavens, how affec- 
ted ! I do not know who taught her, but never in my life have 
I seen a woman put on so many airs ! " 

" She's a perfect statue, my love, and as pallid as death." 

" Oh, don't say that, Sophia Ivanovna ! She rouges outra- 
geously." 

" Why, what are you saying, Anna Grigorievna ? She's chalk, 
chalk, the purest chalk." 



150 DEAD SOULS. 

** My dear, I sat beside her : the rouge on her cheeks is a 
finger thick, and falls off in cakes like stucco. Her mother 
taught her to use it : she was a coquette herself, and the 
daughter will surpass the mother." 

"Well, now, excuse me, but I am ready to sacrifice my chil- 
dren, my husband, my whole fortune, this very instant, if she 
uses a single drop, or an atom, or even a shadow, of rouge." 

" Ah ! good heavens, what are you saying, Sophia Ivanovna ? " 
said the charming lady, clasping her hands. 

"Why, really, Anna Grigorievna, you say such things that I 
can only stare at you in amazement," said the nice lady, clasp- 
ing her hands in her turn. 

It may seem strange to the reader that these two ladies 
should be unable to agree as to what they had seen at almost 
one and the same time. But this kind of thing happens very 
frequently. If one lady looks at an object, it turns out per- 
fectly white ; but let another lady look at it, and it will appear 
red — red as a cranberry. 

" Now, this', will prove to you that she is pale," went on the 
charming lady : " I remember now that I was sitting beside 
Maniloff ; and I said to him, ' See how pale she is ! ' Truly, 
one needs to be as foolish as our gentlemen are to laud her. But 
that charmer of ours. Ah, how repulsive he seemed to me ! You 
cannot conceive, Anna Grigorievna, to what a degree he seemed 
repulsive to me ! " 

" All the same, there were some ladies who were not entirely 
indifferent to him." 

" Do you mean me, Anna Grigorievna ? Why, you can never 
say that, never, never ! " 

" No, I was not speaking of you : just as though there were 
no one else but you ! " 

" Never, never, Anna Grigorievna ! Permit me to remark to 
you, that I know myself very well ; but perhaps what you say 
might be applied to certain ladies who affect to be unap- 
proachable." 

" You must excuse me, Sophia Ivanovna, and allow me to in- 
form you that such scandalous statements have never been 
connected with my name. With some other, possibly, but not 
with mine ; and you must allow me to tell you so." 

" Why have you taken offence ? There were other women 
there : there were even some who seated themselves near the 
door, in order to be nearer to him." 

Now, after these words, spoken by the nice lady, a tempest 
ought inevitably to have followed ; but, to the intense amaze- 



THE EMOTIONS OF A SMALL TOWN. 151 

ment of both ladies, they each suddenly calmed down, and 
nothing whatever came of it. The charming lady recollected 
that the dress pattern was not yet in her possession, and the 
nice lady realised that she had not succeeded in learning all the 
particulars with regard to the discovery made by her friend. 
Thus peace speedily ensued. Moreover, it cannot be said of 
either of the ladies that they experienced any real ill-will to- 
wards one another. On the whole, there was nothing malicious 
about their characters : there had merely arisen in the course of 
conversation a petty desire to prick each other ; one simply 
indulged in some little pointed word aimed at the other, for en- 
joyment's sake : " That's for you ! now take it and digest it." 
The impulses of the heart difler in the female as well as in the 
male sex. 

" But still I cannot comprehend," now said the nice lady, 
" how Tchitchikofi", a new-comer, could make up his mind to 
such an audacious enterprise. It cannot be that he was without 
confederates." 

•' And you think that there are none ? " 

" But who do you suppose would help him ? " 

" Well, Nozdrefl', for instance." 

" Bo you think Nozdreif would ? " 

"And why not? It would be just like him. You know 
that he tried to sell his own father, or, rather, to gamble him 
away at cards." 

" Ah, good Heavens ! what interesting news you tell me ! I 
should never have imagined that Nozdreff was mixed up in this 
affair." 

" I have always supposed so." 

"When one thinks of it, really what strange things do hap- 
pen in the world ! Now, could anyone have imagined, when 
Tchitchikoff first came to our town, you recollect, that he would 
create such a strange commotion ? Ah, Anna Grigorievna, if 
you only knew how thoroughly upset I am ! If it were not for 
your good-will and friendship. And here we are, on the 
brink of destruction. Ah ! what is to become of us ? My maid 
Masha saw me as pale as death just now: ' Dearest mistress,' 
she says to me, ' you are pale as death.' — ' Never mind, Masha,* 
I answered. But, so that's the state of things. So Nozdreff is 
concerned in it ! I am glad to hear that ! " 

The nice lady was extremely anxious to learn some further 
particulars with regard to the elopement ; that is to say, about 
the hour at which it was to take place, and so forth. But the 
charming lady asserted her ignorance in plain terms. She did 



152 DEAD SOULS. 

not know how to lie : to suppose anything is another matter, 
especially when the supposition is founded on inward conviction. 
Now, when she felt an inward conviction, she knew how to stand 
up for herself: and if any learned advocate, renowned for his 
gift of overcoming other people's opinions, had attempted to 
wage battle with her, he would have speedily found out what an 
inward conviction signifies. 

It is not at all surprising that the two ladies should at last 
have firmly convinced themselves of what they had at first 
taken merely as an assumption. We, the wise men, as we call 
ourselves, proceed almost in the same fashion ; and our learned 
judgments serve as a proof of the fact. At first the learned man 
approaches a problem in a remarkably crafty manner ; he begins 
timidly, with the most modest of questions : " Whence comes 
it ? Did not this land receive its name from such and such a 
place or person?" or, "Does not this document belong to 
another and a later period ? " or, " Is it not necessary to take 
this people as meaning that other people ? " He immediately 
quotes various ancient authors, and as soon as he sees, or 
merely thinks he sees, a hint, he sets off" at a trot, takes courage, 
converses with the ancient writers, puts questions to them, and 
even answers for them himself, wholly forgetting the fact that 
he began with a timid assumption. It already seems to him that 
he sees it all, that everything is clear, and his judgment is 
summed up in the words, " So this is how it was ! So that is 
the nation we are to understand ! So that is the point from 
which the subject must be considered ! " Then comes publica- 
tion from the pulpit or professor's chair ; and the newly dis- 
covered truth is despatched on its travels through the world, 
gathering to itself followers and disciples. 

At the very moment when the two ladies had so successfully 
and cleverly unravelled this whole complicated matter, the pro- 
curator, with his ever immovable physiognomy, his thick 
brows and winking ej'es, entered the drawing-room. The ladies 
vied with each other in communicating all the circumstances to 
him ; they told him about the purchase of the dead souls, of 
Tchitchikoff's intention to carry off the governor's daughter, and 
they contrived to thoroughly confuse him ; so that, in spite of 
standing for a long time in one and the same place, winking with 
his left eye, and slapping his chin with his handkerchief, he 
could make absolutely nothing of it. 

The ladies left him in that condition, and set ofl', each in her 
own direction, to stir up the town. This enterprise they suc- 
ceeded in carrying out in little more than half an hour. The 



THE EMOTIONS OF A SMALL TOWN. 153 

town was decidedly stirred up : everything was in a ferment, 
and no one could understand anything about the matter. The 
ladies had managed to cast such a mist before everyone's eyes, 
that all the people, and the officials in particular, remained for 
some time completely bewildered, standing stock-still, with pro- 
truding eyes, like sheep. The dead souls, the governor's daughter, 
and Tchitchikoff were merged and mingled in their brains in a 
wondrously queer fashion. Then, after their first stupefaction, 
they tried to separate them one from the other. They endeavoured 
to understand what they had heard, and became enraged on per- 
ceiving that the atfair would in no wise explain itself What 
sort of a parable was this story about dead souls ? There was 
no logic whatever in dead souls ; — how could dead souls be pur- 
chased ? Where could a fool be found to buy them ? And 
with what sort of contraband money would he efiect the pur- 
chase ? And with what object, and to what use could dead souls 
be applied ? And why mix up the governor's daughter in all 
this matter. Tchitchikoff might want to run off" with her, but 
why should he buy dead souls in order to accomplish this ? And 
if he bought dead souls, then why elope with the governor's 
daughter ? Did he mean to dower her with the dead souls ? 
In short, what nonsense was this story which had been dis- 
seminated throughout the town '? And what sort of a state of 
things was it, when, before one could even turn round, scandals 
were set afloat and travelled throughout the place. If there had 
only been some sense in them. But no. 

However, they had been put in circulation, so, of course, 
there was some foundation for them. What ! foundation for 
dead souls ? No, none at all ! It was all stuff and nonsense ! 
Yes, deuce take it, that, that was all. Meanwhile rumour was fol- 
lowed by rumour ; and the whole town began talking about dead 
souls and the governor's daughter, about Tchitchikoft" and dead 
souls, and about the governor's daughter and Tchitchikoff. The 
town, which had hitherto seemed to be asleep, was lashed as by 
a whirlwind. It woke up, too, all the more readily as it was a 
long time since there had been any news of any description what- 
ever. For the space of three whole months, nothing had arisen, 
even of the sort which is designated in capital cities as gossip, 
and which, as is well known, is equivalent, so far as town life 
is concerned, to a timely supply of edible provisions. Now that 
these stories anent our hero became current, two opposing par- 
ties were instantly formed — the masculine party and the femi- 
nine party. The masculine party, which was perfectly ridiculous, 
directed its attention to the dead souls, while the feminine occu- 



154 DEAD SOULS. 

pied itself exclusively with the abduction of the governor's 
daughter. In this party — to the honour of the ladies, it must 
be remarked — there was incomparably more order and caution. 
Their vocation was, evidently, to be good and orderly house- 
wives. With them everything speedily assumed a vivid and de- 
finite aspect, was clothed in clear and visible form, explained, 
and sifted : in short, a finished picture was presented. It ap- 
peared that Tchitchikofi' had been enamoured of the governor's 
daughter for a long time, and that they had met by moonlight 
in the garden ; that the governor would even have given our 
friend his daughter, for Tchitchikofi" was as rich as a Jew, if it 
had not been for his wife, whom he had abandoned — though 
where and how they had learned that Tchitchikofi" was married, 
was more than anyone could say. However, it appeared that 
his wife, who was sufiering from hopeless love, had written the 
most touching letters to the governor ; and that Tchitchikofi, 
on seeing that the girl's father and mother would not give their 
consent on any terms, had resolved on abduction. In other 
houses this was narrated somewhat difierently : That Tchitchi- 
kofi" had no wife at all ; but that, like a clever man, acting on a 
certainty, he had, in order to obtain the daughter's hand, begun 
matters with the mother ; that he had carried on an intrigue 
with her, and that aftei'wards he had made his proposal for the 
daughter's hand, whereupon the mother, becoming alarmed lest 
a crime against religion should be committed, and feeling the 
gnawings of conscience within her soul, had flatly refused ; so 
that was why Tchitchikofi had decided upon an elopement. 

To all this, many explanations and corrections were added, 
in proportion as the rumours at length penetrated to the 
most remote parts of the town. In Kussia, the lower classes 
are very fond of discussing the scandals which take place in the 
highest society ; so people began to talk this over in miserable 
little cabins, where no one knew Tchitchikofi, nor had even 
set eyes upon him ; and fresh additions, and very extensive 
explanations, were made. The subject grew more and more 
absorbing, and assumed a more definite form each day; finally, 
it was brought to the ears of the governor's wife herself, in all 
its perfection. 

This lady, as the mother of a family, and the first lady in 
the town, felt thoroughly insulted by such stories, and flew into a 
rage, which was in every respect justifiable. The poor little 
blonde had to undergo the most unpleasant tete-a-tete that ever 
it fell to the lot of a sixteen-year-old maiden to endure. Whole 
floods of questions, cross-questions, declarations, threats, re- 



THE EMOTIONS OE A SMALL ToWN. 155 

preaches, exhortations ensued, so that the girl burst into tears 
and sobbed, and could not understand a single word. Mean- 
while the house porter received strict orders not to admit 
Tchitchikofi" at any time, or under any circumstances. 

Having accomplished their business so far as the governor's 
wife was concerned, the ladies made an attack on the masculine 
party, endeavouring to bring the latter over to their side, and 
asserting that the dead souls were all a fabrication, and only 
made use of in order to avert all suspicion, so that the abduction 
might the more successfully be carried out. Many of the men 
were actually converted, and went over to the women's side, 
despite the fact that they were vigorously upbraided by their 
companions, who heaped upon them the opprobrious names of 
"women" and "petticoats," which terms, as is well known, 
are extremely insulting to the male sex. __ 

But arm themselves and resist as they would, there was no 
such order in the masculine party as there was in the feminine 
one. Everything with the males was, after a fashion, rude, 
unpolished, unfitting, awkward, inharmonious, ugly : there was 
a confusion in their heads, a turmoil, a lack of clearness, a 
slovenliness about their thoughts ; in short, bare, coarse, heavy 
nature was therein disclosed, quite unfitted for household man- 
agement, or for convictions of the heart, incredulous, lazy, 
filled with incessant doubts and eternal fears. These men said 
that it was all nonsense ; that the abduction of the governor's 
daughter was rather the sort of thing a hussar would efl'ect ; that 
Tchitchikofi", a mere civilian, would not attempt it ; that the 
women were lying; that the chief point to which attention 
should be directed was the dead souls, for, after all, the deuce 
only knew what they meant, though something very low and 
rascally must be concealed behind them. Why the men thought 
that something low and rascally was concealed behind them we 
shall presently learn. 

A new governor-general had been appointed for the province ; 
and his arrival, as was well known, was bound to create a state 
of excitement among the officials. There would be a lot of 
investigations, reprimands, a thorough setting to rights, and all 
sorts of commotion with which the chief would treat his subor- 
dinates. " Now, what will happen," thought the functionaries, 
" if he finds out that these stupid rumours are afloat in the town ? 
He may on that score alone make our life too hot for us ! " 
The inspector of the medical institute suddenly turned pale. 
God knows what fancy assailed him: did not the dead souls 
signify the patients who hud died in considerable numbers in the 



156 DEAD SOULS. 

hospitals and in other places, of an epidemic, against which 
proper measures had not been taken ? Was not Tchitchikoff 
some official despatched from the office of the governor-general 
to institute a secret investigation ? He communicated this idea 
to the president of the court. The president retorted that that 
was nonsense, and then immediately turned pale himself, on 
putting to himself the query. What were the dead souls pur- 
chased by Tchitchikoff, as a matter of fact ? And he, the presi- 
dent, had allowed the deeds of sale to be registered, and had 
even played the part of Pliushkin's confidential agent in the 
matter. That would come to the governor's ears, and what 
then ? He had no sooner mentioned this to his friends than they 
all turned pale : a terror more infectious than the pest was 
instantly communicated to all the townsfolk. All instantly 
upbraided themselves for sins which they had never even com- 
mitted. The words dead soids sounded so indefinite, that they 
even began to suspect that they contained a hint referring to the 
over-hasty interment of two dead bodies, a matter of recent 
occurrence. 

Some Solvuitchegod merchants, who had come to town for 
the fair, had afterwards joined in a carouse with some friends, 
merchants from Ustsuisolsko, — a carouse on the Russian plan 
with orgeat, punch, cordials, and so on. This carouse had ended 
in a fight, as usual. The Solvuitchegod merchants killed the 
Ustsuisolsko merchants, although they themselves received a 
stout drubbing on their ribs, their flanks, and other portions of 
their bodies, which bore witness to the immeasurably huge fists 
with which the deceased had been endowed. One of the victors 
even had his nose split — that is to say, it was completely crushed, 
so that only aboxit half a finger's length of it remained on 
his face. The traders had acknowledged their guilt, alleging in 
excuse that they had been in a kind of frenzy. Rumours then 
spread abroad that they had redeemed their guilty heads by the 
oftering of four imperial bank-notes apiece : however, the affair 
had been wrapped in mystery. It appeared, though, from the 
inquest subsequently held, that the Ustsuisolsko men had died 
of sufi'ocation by stove-gas, and so they were buried as persons 
who had been sufi"ocated. The second instance of recent 
occurrence was the following : the crown-serfs of the hamlet 
of Vshivoi-Spyes, uniting with some serfs of the same class 
belonging to the hamlets of Borovka and Zadirailoff, had anni- 
hilated the rural police, sweeping them, as it were, from oft' the 
face of the earth. The alleged reason for this was, that the 
rural policemen sufiered from weakness in the region of the 



THE EMOTIONS OF A SMALL TOWN. 137 

heart, and gazed too attentively at the moujiks' wives and 
daughters. However, nothing was known for a certainty ; but 
it resulted that one of the rural policemen was eventually found 
dead on the highway ; his uniform, or surtout, was torn in 
rags, and it was impossible to recognise his face. The aflair 
dragged through the court, and finally reached the upper 
tribunal, where it was at first decided in secret council to this 
efi'ect : As it was not known which of the serfs had taken part 
in the aflair, and as they were tolerably numerous ; and since 
the policeman was dead, and the serfs were still alive, so that a 
decision in their favour was of very great importance to them, 
the matter was resolved thus : It was declared that the 
policeman himself had been to blame, inasmuch as he had un- 
justly oppressed the peasants of Vshivoi-Spyes and Zadirailofi"; 
and it was reported that he had died of an apoplectic stroke 
while returning home in his sleigh. 

The matter had been thoroughly disposed of, apparently ; 
but, for some reason or other, the ofiicials began to think that 
probably the question Avas now of these dead souls. Now, it 
happened as if expressly, that at the very time when the 
ofiicials found themselves in such embarrassing circumstances, 
two documents reached the governor. The contents of one of 
them was to the efl'ect that, according to reports and informa- 
tion previously received, there was at that time in the neigh- 
bourhood a forger of bank-notes, who was hiding himself under 
various names, and that a strict investigation was to be imme- 
diately instituted. The other document contained a communi- 
cation from the governor of a neighbouring province respecting 
some legal proceedings against a highway robber, and it stated 
that if any suspicious individual should make his appearance in 
that region without references or passport, he was to be 
instantly arrested. These two documents fairly stunned the 
ofiicials. Their first conclusions and conjectures were entirely 
wrong. Of course it was quite impossible to suppose that this 
had any reference to Tchitchikofl": nevertheless, when they all 
came to think the mattfer over, each one from his own point of 
view, and when they recollected that, as a matter of fact, they 
did not in the least know who Tchitchikoff was, that he had 
expressed himself in a very obscure way with regard to his own 
person, — had said, in truth, that he had sufiered for the right in 
the service, though that was far from being explicit, — and when, 
in addition to all this, they recollected that he had even spoken 
of having many enemies, who went so far as to even seek his 
life, then they became yet more thoughtful. His life was iu 



158 DEAD SOULS. 

danger, lie was persecuted, consequently he had done some- 
thing, eh ? And ^Yho was he, after all ? Of course it was im- 
possible to think that he made counterfeit bank-notes, muchless 
that he could be a highwayman ; his personal appearance was 
in his favour ; but with all that, who could he in fact be ? 

Thus the officials now began to put to themselves the query 
which they should have put in the first instance, — that is to say, 
in the first chapter of our work. It was decided to make some 
inquiries of those persons from whom the souls had been pur- 
chased, in order that one might at least learn what manner of 
sale it had been, and what was to be understood by these dead 
souls, and whether our hero had not revealed to someone, unin- 
tentionally it might be, or in passing, his real intentions, and 
whether he had not told someone who he really was. First of 
all, then, the officials addressed themselves to Mrs. Korobotchka, 
but from her they learned little : he had bought some serfs of her 
for fifteen roubles, she said, and he had said that he dealt in 
chickens' feathers, too, and he had promised to purchase all 
sorts of things ; and he had said he furnished tallow to the 
treasury, and therefore must be a rascal, for there had been one 
man already who bought chickens' feathers, and supplied the 
treasury with tallow, and he had deceived everybody, and had 
cheated the protopopess out of more than a hundred roubles. 
All that she said further was nearly a repetition of the same 
thing, and all that the officials perceived was that Mrs. 
Korobotchka was simply a stupid old woman. Manilofl" replied 
to them that he was always ready to answer for Pavel Ivano- 
vitch as for himself; that he would willingly sacrifice the whole 
of his property if he could thereby acquire the hundredth part 
of Pavel Ivanovitch's qualities. Altogether he expressed him- 
self in the most flattering terms with regard to the latter, 
adding some reflections on friendship, which he uttered with 
half-closed eyes. These thoughts sufficiently exhibited, of 
course, the tender impulses of his heart, but they did not ex- 
plain the matter in hand to the officials. 

Sobakevitch, on his side, answered that, in his opinion, 
Tchitchikoflf was a fine man ; that he had sold the latter serfs 
for export, and that the people were alive in every sense, but 
that he would not answer for what might happen in the future ; 
that if they were to die on the road, in consequence of the 
hardships of transportation, that would be no fault of his, and 
that God alone is powerful in that matter ; but there are many 
fevers and other deadly diseases in the world, and cases had 
been heard of where whole villages had died off. The officials 



THE RESULT IS OUR HERO S FLIGHT. 163 

bad recourse to yet another device, which is not quite honour- 
able, but which is occasionally resorted to — that is to say, they 
undertook to interrogate Tchitchikoff's servants through their 
own lackeys, to find out whether the former knew any particulars 
with regard to the life and circumstances of their master; however 
on this side they learned nothing. All they elicited from Pet- 
rushka was a bad smell, and from Selifan that his master had 
" been in the service of the state in the excise department," and 
nothing more. A very strange custom obtains with the lower class! 
of people in Russia : if they are questioned directly about any- \ 
thing, they never 'remember, they retain nothing whatever in 
their minds, and answer simply that they do not knoiy ; but if 
they are interrogated about something else, they drag this in, 
and narrate it with a multitude of details which one does not 
care to listen to. All the researches carried out by the officials 
merely disclosed to them the fact that they knew nothing with 
certainty as to what Tchitchikofl' was, but that nevertheless 
Tchitchikofi" must surely be something. They eventually con- 
cluded to talk the matter over thoroughly, and to arrive at a 
decision as to what was to be done about it : what measures 
were to be taken, what our hero really was — whether he was a 
man whom it was necessary to detain and lay hands upon as 
being an evil-disposed person, or whether he was a man who 
could detain and lay hands upon them all as persons of evil 
intent. With this object, it was proposed that they should all 
assemble at the house of the chief of police, who is already 
known to the reader as the father and benefactor of the town. 



CHAPTER X. 

THE EESULT IS DUE HEEo's FLIGHT. 

On assembling at the residence of the chief of police, the 
officials had occasion to remark from each other's appearance 
that they had all become greatly emaciated by such an amount 
of care and anxiety. In fact, the appointment of a new 
governor-general, the arrival of these documents of secret 
import, and all these rumours, signifying God knows what, — 
everything had left visible traces of worry upon their coun- 
tenances, and the swallow-tailed coats of many of them had 



180 DEAD SOULS. 

grown perceptibly loose. All had yielded to the effects : the 
president of the court had grown thin, and the inspector of the 
Medical Institute had grown thin too ; and a certain Semen 
Ivanovitch, who was never called by his family name, and who 
wore upon his index-finger a ring, which he allowed the ladies 
to look at, even he had grown thin. Of course, as is always 
the case, there were some of a bold cast of character, who had 
not lost their presence of mind ; but of such there were very few 
indeed. The postmaster alone did not modify his usual evenness 
of character ; and he was always accustomed to say, in such 
cases, " We know you, you governor-generals ! There may, 
possibly, be three or four changes in your ranks, but I have 
been sitting in my place for the last thirty years, ray dear 
sirs." 

The council which had assembled on the present occasion 
speedily set to work, but a most incomprehensible lack of 
decision was evinced in the views of those who had assembled 
at it. One person said that Tchitchikoff forged imperial bank- 
notes, and then he added himself, " But perhaps, no — perhaps he 
is not a counterfeiter." Another asserted that our hero was an 
official belonging to the govern or- general's chancellery, and 
immediately added, " However, the deuce only knows what 
he is : you certainly can't read it on his forehead." All pro- 
tested against the surmise that he might be a bandit in disguise : 
they considered that, in addition to his personal appearance, 
which was respectable in itself, there was nothing in his conver- 
sation to indicate a man given to deeds of violence. Ail at 
once the postmaster, after having remained buried in some sort 
of reflection for the space of several minutes, — either in conse- 
quence of a sudden inspiration which had illumined his mind, or 
from some other cause, — unexpectedly exclaimed, " Do j'ou 
know, gentlemen, who he is ? " The voice in which he uttered 
this had something about it which caused all to exclaim 
simultaneously, "Who?" — "This man, gentlemen, is no other 
than Captain Kopyeikin ! " And when all, with one voice, there- 
upon inquired "Who is Captain Kopyeikin?" the postmaster 
said, " What ! you don't know who Captain Kopyeikin is ? " 

They all replied that they had not the least idea who Captain 
Kopyeikin was. 

The postmaster thereupon began to relate a long story of a 
half-pay Eussian officer, who, although he had lost an arm and 
a leg, had some years previously placed himself at the head of 
a band of robbers in the forests of Ryazan. 

"But excuse me, Ivan Andreitch," said the chief of police, 



THE RESULT IS OUH HERo's FLIGHT. 161 

you tell us that Captain Kopyeikin had lost au arm and a leg, 
whereas Tchitchikofi" — " 

Here the postmaster uttered an exclamation, and dealt him- 
self a blow on the forehead with the full sweep of his arm, and 
called himself a calf publicly, in the presence of them all. He 
could not comprehend how such a circumstance had not 
occurred to his mind before, at the very beginning of his tale ; 
and he confessed that the adage was perfectly just, *• The Russian 
is strong in second thoughts." Nevertheless, a moment later, he 
began to employ craft, and tried to extricate himself by saying 
that mechanism had reacheda high degree of perfection in England ; 
that it was evident, from the newspapers, that a man had invented 
a wooden leg of such a description that, by the pressure of an 
imperceptible spring, such legs would bear a person God knows 
to what regions, so that he could never be found afterwards. 

However, they all entertained strong doubts as to whether 
Tchitchikoti' was Captain Kopyeikin, and they came to the con- 
clusion that the postmaster's theory was too far-fetched. Still 
they had not hit the mark ; and, led on by the postmaster's 
acute guesses, they wandered still farther from the truth. 
From among a number of hypotheses, some of which were very 
clever in their way, one was finally settled upon ; and this, 
strange to say, was that Tchitchikoff was Napoleon in disguise. 
Now Englishmen had long been envious, because, forsooth, 
Russia was so great and extensive ; and some caricatures had 
even appeai'ed in which a Russian was depicted engaged in 
conversation with an Englishman. The Englishman was stand- 
ing and holding a dog behind him with a cord, and, of course, 
the dog was understood to be Napoleon : " Look out," says the 
Briton, " if you don't do so-and-so, I'll set the dog on you." 
And here they had possibly let him loose from the island of St. 
Helena ; and now he had made his way back to Russia in the 
shape of Tchitchikofi'. 

Of course the officials did not believe all this, but still they 
reflected upon it ; and, on scrutinizing the matter, they were of 
opinion that Tchitchikoli"s face, when he turned and presented 
his profile to one's gaze, was very much like the portraits 
of Napoleon. The chief of police likewise, who had served in 
the campaign of 1812, and had seen Napoleon in the flesh, could 
not help confessing that the latter was not in the least taller 
than Tchitchikofi", and that the cast of Napoleon's countenance 
Avas neither too fat nor too thin. Perhaps some readers 
will call all this incredible, and the author is also prepared to 
declare it incredible to please them ; but unfortunately, it all 



162 DEAD SOULS. 

took place exactly as narrated. Moreover, it behoves us to 
remember that all this occurred shortly after the glorious 
expulsion of the French. 

At that period, all our landed gentry, officials, merchants, 
shopmen, every man who could read and write, and even un- 
educated people, had been sworn politicians for at least eight 
years. "The Moscow News " and "The Son of the Father- 
land " were mercilessly perused, and reached the last reader in 
tatters, which were unfit for any use whatever. Instead of the 
questions, " How much have you sold your oats for per measure, 
my dear fellow ? " or, " Did you derive some slight benefit from 
last night's light snow ? " they said, " What do the newspapers 
state ? Has Napoleon been released from the island again ? " 
The merchants greatly dreaded this contingency, for they put 
full faith in the prediction of a certain prophet who had been in 
jail for the last three years. This prophet had come from no 
one knows whence, in bast shoes and a sheepskin coat, which 
smelt horribly of stale fish, and had announced that Napoleon 
was "Antichrist," and was held fast by a strong chain behind 
six walls and seven seas, but that hereafter he would break the 
chain and obtain possession of the whole world. This prophet 
had been lodged in jail for his prophecy, as he deserved to be ; 
but nevertheless, the prophecy had done its work, and the 
merchants were thoroughly alarmed. 

Fora longtime afterwards, during a period of the most profitable 
transactions even, the merchants discussed " Antichrist" when 
they betook themselves to the taverns to drink their tea. Many 
of the officials and of the genuine nobility also involuntarily 
meditated upon the subject, and being inoculated with mysticism, 
which, as is well known, was then in high fashion, they per- 
ceived a special meaning in every letter which composed the 
name of Napoleon ; many even discovered in it the numbers of 
the Apocalypse. 

Thus, there was nothing surprising in the fact that the offi- 
cials involuntarily meditated upon this point. However, they 
promptly recovered themselves, on perceiving that their fancies 
were carrying them along too rapidly, and that this was no solu- 
tion as regards our hero. They thought and they talked, and 
finally they decided that it would not be a bad idea to ques- 
tion Nozdrefl" thoroughly, as he had been the first to start the 
story of the dead souls, and stood, as they said, in intimate rela- 
tions to TchitchikofF ; consequently, he must know something of 
the circumstances of our friend's life, and an eflbrt must be made 
to see what he had to say. 



THE RESULT IS OUR HERO S FLIGHT. 163 

So the chief of police wrote Nozdreff a note on the instant, 
inviting him for the evening ; and a policeman in cavalry-boots, 
with an attractive bloom upon his cheeks, proceeded immedi- 
ately, with hasty steps, and holding up his sword, to Nozdreff's 
lodgings. Nozdreff was engaged with a matter of importance ; 
for four whole days he had neither emerged from his apartments 
nor admitted anyone to them, but had received his food through 
the window, and had even grown pale and green. His business 
demanded the greatest attention ; it consisted in selecting from 
several gross of cards a single pack, the most suitable one upon 
which one might rely as upon a faithful friend. There was work 
enough still to last two weeks, and during the whole of this 
period Porfiriy was to clean the bull-pup Avith a certain small 
brush, and to wash him three times a day in soap and water. 
Nozdreff was greatly incensed at having his solitude intruded 
upon ; first he consigned the policeman to the Devil, but when he 
had read in the chief of police's note that a harvest might be 
expected, since some novice or other was to be at the even- 
ing gathering, he instantly calmed down, hastily locked up his 
room, dressed himself in the first clothes that came to hand, and 
set out. 

Nozdrefl''s disposition, testimony, and surmises presented 
such a sharp contrast with those of the officials that the guesses 
of the latter were upset. This fellow was decidedly a man for 
whom there existed no doubts whatever, and in exact propor- 
tion as they exhibited hesitation and timidity, did he display 
firmness and confidence. He replied to all points without even 
hesitating, declared that Tchitchikoff had purchased dead souls 
to the number of several thousands, and that he himself had sold 
some to him, because he did not see any reason why he should 
not sell them. To the question, Was not Tchitchikoff' a spy, and 
was he not attempting to find out something ? Nozdreff replied 
that ho had already been a spy in their school-days, that he had 
been called the "attorney-general," and that his comrades (in- 
cluding himself ) had hustled him about so much that it had been 
necessarj' to apply two hundred and forty leeches to one of his 
temples — that is, he had meant to say forty ; the mention of the 
two hundred had popped out of its own accord. To the ques- 
tion. Was Tchitchikoff a counterfeiter ? he replied that he was ; 
and, in that connection, he related an anecdote to illustrate Tchi- 
tchikoff' s remarkable cleverness — how the authorities, on learn- 
ing that he had two million roubles' worth of counterfeit 
bank-notes in his house, had sealed up the building, and set a 
guard of two soldiers at every door, and how Tchitchikoff had 



164 BEAD SOULS. 

changed the notes in the course of one night, so that, when the 
seals were removed on the following day, it was seen that they 
were all genuine. To the question, Did Tchitchikoff really 
intend to kidnap the governor's daughter, and was it true that 
he himself had undertaken to assist and take part in the enter- 
prise ? Nozdreff replied that he had assisted, and that, if it had 
not been for him, nothing would have come of it. Here he tried 
to catch himself up, perceiving that he had lied quite unneces- 
sarily, and that he might by this mistake call down misfortune 
on his head ; however he could not possibly restrain his tongue. 

Moreover, it was difficult to do so, as such interesting details 
presented themselves that he could by no means keep silent : he 
even mentioned the name of the village where was situated the 
parish church in which the marriage was arranged to take place ; 
namely, the village of Trukhmatchevka : the pope's name, he 
said, was Father Sidor ; seventy-five roubles was the price to be 
paid for the service ; and the pope would not have consented 
had he not frightened him by threatening to denounce him for 
having married Mikhail, the flour-dealer, to his fellow-god- 
parent;"' that he had even surrendered his own calash, and had 
prepared relays of horses at all the stations. These lying par- 
ticulars extended even to the point of mentioning the names of 
the postboys. An attempt was made to drop a word about 
Kapoleon, but the officials repented of their effort ; for Nozdreff 
furnished them with such a pack of nonsense, destitute of even 
the slightest semblance of truth, that they all departed, sighing ; 
the postmaster alone continued to listen for a long while, think- 
ing that there might, at least, be something more ; but finally 
even he waved his hand and said, " The deuce knows what 
it's all about! " And they all of them agreed that, struggle 
with a bull as much as you like, you will never get any milk 
from him. 

So the officials were left in a worse position than before, and 
they could not settle in the least who Tchitchikoff was. 

Tchitchikoff knew nothing whatever of all this. It seemed 
to happen expressly, that he took a slight cold at that very time, 
— one of those colds in the head with a slight swelling in the 
throat, in the distribution of which the climate of many of our 
provincial towns is extremely lavish. In order that his life 
might not be cut short, without posterity, which God forbid, he 
decided that it would be better to keep to his room for two or 
three days. During these few days he gargled his throat with 

* Godparents are not allowed to marty in the Greek Church. 



THE RESULT IS OUR HERO S FLIGHT. 165 

a decoction of milk and figs, which he afterwards ate ; and he 
wore a little poultice of camomile and camphor bound upon his 
cheek. As he was desirous of occupying his time in some way, 
he prepared new and detailed lists of the peasants whom he had 
recently purchased ; and he even read a volume of the "Duchess 
de La Valliere," which he had rummaged out of his trunk; 
looked over divers notes, and other objects in his dressing-case, 
read his papers over a second time, in a perfunctory way, and 
felt greatly bored by everything. 

He could not in the least understand what it meant, that not 
one of the city officials had come even once to inquire after his 
health, whereas, only a short time before, drozhkies had stood 
constantly in front of the inn, — now the postmaster's, now the 
procurator's, and, again, that belonging to the president of the 
court. He merely shrugged his shoulders as he walked about 
the room. At length he felt better, and God knows how he 
rejoiced when he perceived the possibility of going out into the 
fresh air once more. He set about his toilet without delay, 
opened his dressing-case, poured some hot water into a glass, took 
out his brush and soap, and prepared to shave himself ; and, by 
the way, it was high time that he did so, for, on feeling his 
chin with his hand, and looking in the glass, he ejaculated, 
" Eh ! what a forest has sprung up ! " And in fact, it was not 
a forest, but all over his cheeks and chin a tolerably thick stubble 
had planted itself. After shaving himself, he set so briskly to 
work with his toilet, that he nearly leaped out of his trousers. 
At last he was dressed ; and sprinkled with eau-de-Cologne, and 
warmly wrapped up, he emerged into the street, after having 
muffled up his face as a measure of precaution. 

His re-appearance on the scene was really a festive occasion, 
as it is with every convalescent. Everything which he 
encountered assumed a smiling aspect, — the houses, the passing 
moujiks, who were really quite gloomy, however, and one of 
whom had just succeeded in dealing a comrade a blow on 
the ear. He intended that his first call should be for the 
governor. All sorts of thoughts occurred to him on the way : 
the pretty little blonde was whirling in his brain ; his fancy 
even began to grow somewhat uncontrollable, and he had 
already begun to jest and to laugh at himself a little. It was in 
this frame , of mind that he found himself in front of the 
entrance to the governor's house. He M'as already in the act 
of hastily throwing oft' his cloak in the vestibule, when the 
porter astounded him with the utterly unexpected words, "Not 
receiving ! " 



166 DEAD SOULS. 

*' How ? What do you mean? You evidently do not recog- 
nise me. Take a good look at my face ! " said Tchitchikoff. 

" Not know you, indeed ! Why, this is not the first time I 
ever saw you," retorted the porter. "It is precisely you out 
of all the rest whom I have received orders not to admit : every- 
one else can enter." 

" You don't say so ! Why, what's the reason ? " 

" Those are my orders, and it's as it should be, evidently," 
said the porter, and he added the words " so there." After which 
he stood before Tchitchikoff in a negligent attitude, and without 
preserving that courteous mien with which he had always 
hitherto removed our hero's cloak. It seemed as though he were 
thinking, as he gazed at him, "Oho ! Since the master drives 
you from his door, you must be some sort of a scamp ! " 

"Incomprehensible," thought Tchitchikoff to himself, and 
he went straight to the president of the court ; but the president 
of the court was thrown into such confusion at the sight of him 
that he could not put two words together, and uttered such 
nonsense that they both felt ashamed. Try as he would, on 
leaving, to explain the matter, and to discover what the presi- 
dent meant, and to what his words referred, Tchitchikoff could 
not understand anything. 

Then he called on the others — the chief of police, the vice- 
governor, and the postmaster ; but they either did not receive 
him at all, or received him so strangely, conducted the conver- 
sation in such a constrained and incomprehensible way, were so 
abstracted, and everything turned out so ridiculously, that he 
began to doubt whether their brains were in a normal condition. 
He made an attempt to approach someone, in order at least to 
discover the cause of all this ; but he did not discover if. He 
wandered aimlessly through the town, like a man only half 
awake, and quite incapable of deciding whether his wits had 
forsaken him, whether the officials had lost their heads, whether 
all this was happening in a dream, or what. It was late, almost 
twilight, in fact, when he returned to his inn, whence he had 
emerged in such an agreeable frame of mind, and ordered tea to 
be brought, out of sheer dulness. He had begun thoughtfully 
pouring out his tea, absorbed in a sort of meditation as to the 
peculiarity of his position, when the door of his chamber 
suddenly opened, and Nozdreff stood before him in a wholly 
unexpected manner. 

"What says the proverb? Seven versts is the immediate 
neighbourhood to friends ! " remarked Nozdreff, doffing his cap : 
" As I was passing by, I espy a light in your window. ' Come ! ' 



THE RESULT IS OUR HERO S FLIGHT. 167 

I think to myself, ' I'll go in ! he certainly can't be asleep.' 
And it's a good thing that you have some tea on the table : I'll 
drink a cup with pleasure. I had all sorts of vile stuff for 
dinner to-day, and I feel a row beginning in my stomach. 
Order a pipe to be filled for me. Where's your pipe ? " 

" I don't smoke a pipe," said Tchitchikotf. 

" Stuff ! As if I didn't know that you were a smoker. Hey, 
there ! What's his name ? what do you call your man ? Hey, 
there, Vakhramei, listen ! " 

"His name is not Vakhramei, but Petrushka." 

" What ? Well, you used to have a Vakhramei ? " 

" I never had a Vakhramei." 

" Yes, exactly : it was Derebiu who had a Vakhramei. Fancy 
what luck Derebin has : his aunt has quarrelled with her son 
because he has married a serf-girl, and now she has bequeathed 
all her property to Derebin. Thinks I to myself, 'If I only 
had an aunt like that, even a distant one ! ' But what's the 
matter with you, my dear fellow, that you have been keeping 
aloof from everybody, and have not been anywhere ? Of course 
I know that 5'ou are occasionally engaged in learned pursuits, 
that you are fond of reading." (From what premises Nozdreff 
drew his conclusions that Tchitchikoff occupied himself with 
learned subjects, and that he was fond of reading, we cannot in 
the least divine, and Tchitchikoff' still less.) " Ah, brother 
Tchitchikoff! if you only knew, it really would furnish food 
for your satirical humour." (Why Tchitchikoff had a satirical 
mind is also unknown.) " Fancy, my dear fellow, they were 
playing at gorka at the house of Likhatcheft', the merchant : 
that's where the laugh comes in! Perependeft" was with me. 
' Look here,' says he, ' if Tchitchikoff' were here now, this would 
just suit him ! ' " (Tchitchikoff, by the way, had never known 
any Perependeff in his life.) "And confess, my dear fellow, 
that you behaved very meanly, you know, when — when you 
played that game of draughts with me. For I won. Yes, my 
dear fellow, you simply diddled me. But the deuce knows, I 
can't cherish ill-will. The other day, at the president of the 
court's — but stop ! I must tell j-ou, that the whole town is 
arrayed against you. They think that you make counterfeit 
money, and have appealed to me ; but I defended you with all 
my might. I told them that I had been to school with you, 
and knew your father : well, there's no use in particularizing, 
but I told a lot of lies." 

" I make counterfeit money ! " shrieked Tchitchikoff", spring- 
ing from his chair. 



168 DEAD SOULS. 

" But why did you frighten them so ? " went on Nozdreff. 
"The deuce knows, they nearly went out of their nainds with 
terror : they made you out to be a spy and a highwayman. And 
the procurator has died of fright : his funeral will take place to- 
morrow. You won't attend it, eh ? To tell the truth, they are 
afraid of a new governor- general. But you have certainly under- 
taken a very risky business, Tchitchikoff." 

" What risky business ? " inquired Tchitchikoff uneasily. 

" Why, the abduction of the governor's daughter. I must 
confess that I expected it : by heavens, I expected it ! The 
very first time when I saw you together at the ball, ' Well, now,' 
I thought tom5'self, ' Tchitchikoff is not doing that fornothing ! ' 
But it's useless for you to make such a choice : I can't see any- 
thing pretty about her. Still, there is one girl worth having, a 
relative of Bikusoff's, his sister's daughter ; and such a girl, too! 
One may really call her a wonderful piece of calico ! " 

" But what are you saying ? What crack-brained affair is this ? 
What do you mean by abducting the governor's daughter ? " 
said Tchitchikoff, staring with all his eyes. 

*' Come, enough of that, my dear fellow ! What a reserved 
man you are ! I admit that I came to you about this very matter : 
I am ready to assist you if you like. So be it : I will hold the 
crown over you,* the calash and relays of horses shall be my 
care, but on one condition — that you will lend me three thou- 
sand roubles. I must have them, my dear fellow, or cut my 
throat." 

While Nozdreff was rattling on in this strain, Tchitchikoff 
wiped his eyes several times, with a desire to convince himself 
whether he was listening to all this in a dream. The manufac- 
ture of counterfeit bank-notes ; the abduction of the governor's 
daughter ; the death of the procurator, of which he was said to 
be the cause ; the arrival of a governor-general — all this pro- 
duced a tolerably violent alarm in his breast. " Well, if it has 
come to this," he thought to himself, " there's no time to waste ; 
I must get away from here as speedily as possible." 

He then got rid of Nozdreff as promptly as he could, sum- 
moned Selifan at once, and ordered him to be ready at day- 
break, so that they might leave town at six o'clock on the 
next morning, without fail ; everything was to be thoroughly in- 
spected, the britchka greased, and so forth, and so forth. Seli- 
fan ejaculated, " I obey you, Pavel Ivanovitch ! " but all the 
same he halted for some time motionless at the door. Our hero 

* Crowns are held above the heads of the bride and bridegroom during 
the marriage ceremony in the Greek Church, 



DEPARTURE ON FRESH ENTERPRISES. 169 

then immediately commanded Petrushka to pull out his trunk 
from under the bed — where it was covered with dust — and 
together they immediately set to work packing it with socks, 
shirts, linen, both clean and soiled, boot-jacks, and calendars, 
all of which were thrown in as they came to hand, without much 
attempt at arrangement. Our hero wanted to be ready that 
evening without fail, in order that no delay might occur on the 
following morning. After standing for a couple of minutes at 
the door, Selifan had slowly left the room. Slowly, as slowly 
as it is possible to conceive of, he descended the staircase, im- 
printing traces of his wet boots on the well-worn steps, and in 
his surprise he scratched the back of his head with his hand for 
a long time thereafter. 



CHAPTER XI. 

DEPARTURE ON FRESH ENTERPRISES. 

Everything was to have been ready at daybreak, and at 6 a.m. 
Tchitchikoflf was to have passed through the city gates. Nothing, 
however, happened as he had anticipated. In the first place, he 
woke up later than he had intended : this was the first unplea- 
santness. On rising, he immediately sent to learn whether his 
britchka was harnessed, and whether all was in readiness ; but 
it was reported to him that the britchka was not yet harnessed, 
and that nothing was ready : this was the second unpleasant- 
ness. He then flew into a rage, and even made preparations to 
administer a sound thrashing to our friend Selifan, merely 
waiting, in impatience, until the latter should allege some 
excuse in his own defence. Selifan soon made his appearance 
at the door, and his master had the pleasure of listening to the 
discourses which masters generally hear from their servants 
whenever it is necessary for one to set out in haste. 

"It will be necessary to have the horses shod, Pavel Ivano- 
vitch." 

" Ah, you young pig ! you blockhead ! Why didn't you say 
so before ? Wasn't there time ? " 

" Yes, there was plenty of time. And there's the wheel, too, 
Pavel Ivanovitch : the tire will have to be replaced, for the roads 
are full of ruts now, and there will he a great strain on it every- 
where. And I wanted to report that the dashboard is all 
rickety, so that it will probably not last for two stages," 



170 DEAD SOULS. 

" You villain ! " shouted TchitcMkoff, wringing his hands, and 
approaching the servant sq closely that Selifan retreated, for 
fear that he might receive a blow from his master. 

" Have you sworn to murder me ? hey ? " shouted our hero. 
" Do you wish to cut my throat ? Yes, have you made up your 
mind to cut my throat on the highway, you bandit, you hog, 
you marine scarecrow ? hey ? hey ? We have been settled here 
three weeks, haven't we, hey ? And you never gave a hint, you 
good-for-nothing, of all this, and now you bring it out at the last 
moment, when we're almost on the very point of starting ! You 
meant to mount and set out, did you, hey ? And you concealed 
it, hey, hey ? Of course you knew it all before ? You knew it, 
hey ? hey ? Answer me ! You knew it, hey ? " 

" I knew it," replied Selifan, dropping his head. 

" Then why didn't you say so, hey ? " g 

To this question Selifan made no reply, but he seemed to be 
saying to himself, as he stood with drooping head, " Just see 
how nasty it has all turned out ; I knew it, and like a stupid I 
did not tell it." 

" Now go and fetch the blacksmith," retorted our hero, " and 
let everything be finished in two hours.- Do you hear ? in two 
hours without fail ; and if it is not, I'll give you, I'll — I'll twist 
you into a horn — I'll tie you up in a knot ! " As will be seen 
by this language our hero was deeply incensed. 

Selifan turned to the door, with the intention of carrying out 
his instructions ; but suddenly he halted, and said, " One thing 
more. That piebald horse ought to be sold, Pavel Ivanovitch, 
for he's a regular villain : he's such fi horse, that if you keep 
him — may God protect us from mishap, that's all I say ! " 

" Yes ! Of course I'll go — I'll run to the market, and sell 
him ! " 

"By Heavens, Pavel Ivanovitch, he's only fine in appear- 
ance. In reality, he's the most vicious horse I know ; such a 
horse is worth nothing." 

" You idiot ! When I want to sell him, I'll sell him. You 
have set to arguing again, I see ! I'll attend to that. If you 
don't fetch the blacksmith instantly, and if everything is not 
ready in two hours, I'll give you such a thrashing that you won't 
be able to look yourself in the face afterwards ! Gro ! march 1 " 
Thereupon Selifan left the room. 

Tchitchikofi" broke into a violent rage, and flung down the 
sword which he carried about with him on his journeys, for the 
purpose of inspiring fear whenever necessary. He excited him- 
self with the blacksmith for about a quarter of an hour before he 



DEPARTURE ON FRESH ENTERPRISES. 171 

came to terms ; for all blacksmiths are barefaced rogues, and 
this one, on perceiving that despatch was required, demanded 
six times the worth of the job. Kage as our hero would ; call 
him villain, thief, a robber of travellers ; hint as he would of the 
Day of Judgment — the blacksmith would not yield in the least : 
he thoroughly maintained his character, and not only refused to 
abate the price, but even loitered over the work for five hours 
and a half instead of two. 

During this interval our friend had the satisfaction of passing 
through those agreeable moments, familiar to every traveller, 
when everything is packed up in his trunks, and when only some 
bits of cord and paper, and a variety of rubbish is strewn about 
his room — when he neither belongs to the road nor to home, 
but gazes from his window upon the passers-by threading their 
w5,y along, discussing or thinking over their money affairs, and 
raising their eyes in stupid curiosity at him, and then, after one 
glance, pursuing their road. Everything in existence — every- 
thing that he beholds — the little shop opposite his Avindow, and 
the old woman who lives in the house over the way, and who 
approaches her short-curtained window to look at him — every- 
thing is hateful to him ; still he does not retreat from his own 
window. There he stands, now shivering, again directing his 
troubled attention upon everything before him ; and in his vexa- 
tion at having to wait, he crushes perchance a fly which has 
been buzzing and beating against the pane, just beneath his 
finger. 

But there is an end to all things, and with our hero the 
longed-for moment at last arrived ; all was ready ; the dash- 
board of the britchka had been properly repaired, the wheel was 
provided with a new tire, the horses were led back from the 
watering-trough, and the rascally blacksmiths had taken their 
departure, counting their sUver roubles, and wishing our friend 
a good journey as they went. At length the britchka was 
packed; two hot kalatchi, '■' jnst purchased, were put in; and 
Selifan had already thrust something for himself into his pocket, 
as he sat on the box. Finally our hero seated himself in his 
equipage ; while the waiter of the inn, clad in his stout cotton 
surtout, waved his cap ; and the lackeys, coachmen, and others 
who had assembled gazed at the departure of the strange 
gentleman. Then, amid all the other incidents which accom- 
pany an exit, the britchka, which had remained for so long a 
time in the town, and which has possibly so greatly wearied 
the reader, emerged from the gate of the inn. 
* Meat patties, 



172 DEAD SOULS, 

" Glory to God ! " thought TchitchikofF, and he crossed him- 
self. Selifan cracked his whip ; Petrushka mounted beside him, 
after first hanging on the step for awhile ; and our hero, in- 
stalling himself as comfortably as possible, and wrapping him- 
self in his Georgian rug, placed a leather pillow behind his back, 
and closely hugged the hot meat-pies. The equipage began 
dancing and jolting about, owing to the pavement, which, seem- 
ingly, possessed a power of projection. Our hero gazed with un- 
defined feelings at the houses, the garden-walls, and the streets, 
which, on their side, seemed to leap as they retreated slowly 
behind him, and which, perchance, he would never behold again 
during the whole course of his existence. 

As they turned into a fresh street, the britchka was forced to 
come to a halt, -for an interminable funeral procession was 
passing along. Tchitchikoflf thrust out his head, and ordered 
Petrushka to inquire who was being buried, and he learned that 
it was the procurator. Full of unpleasant feelings he promptly 
hid himself in a corner, covered himself with his rug, and 
drew the curtain. When the equipage was thus brought to a 
standstill, Selifan and Petrushka, reverently removing their hats, 
took observations as to who were there., in and on what they 
rode, and how many of them there were in all, including both 
foot-mourners and persons in carriages. Their master, after 
giving them strict orders not to recognise anyone, or to salute 
any of their lackey friends, also began peeping through the 
small pane of glass which was set in his leather curtain. 

Behind the coffin marched all the officials, with their heads 
bare. He began to fear that they might recognise his equipage, 
but they were not thinking of that. They did not even engage 
in those various worldly discussions, such as the people who 
accompany a corpse generally indulge in. Their minds were 
centred upon themselves at that juncture of affairs : they were 
wondering what sort of a person the new governor-general 
would be, how he would take hold of matters, and how he would 
treat them. After the officials, who were on foot, followed 
some coaches, from which gazed ladies in mourning caps. It 
was obvious, from the movements of their lips and hands, that 
they were engaged in a brisk conversation : possibly they also 
were discussing the coming of the new governor-general, enun- 
ciating hypotheses with regard to the balls which he would give, 
and also worrying about their everlasting scallops and gimp. 

After the coaches followed several empty drozhkies in single 
file, till finally no more remained, and our hero could proceed. 
He heaved a sigh of relief as he parted the leather curtains, and 



DEPARTURE ON FRESH ENTERPRISES. 173 

heartily ejaculated, " So that's the procurator ! He has lived, 
and now he has died ; and now they will print in the neAvs- 
papers that he died regretted hy his subordinates and by all 
mankind, a respected citizen, a wonderful father, a model 
husband ; and soon they will no doubt add that he was accom- 
panied to his grave by the tears of widows and orphans ; but, in 
sooth, when one comes to examine the matter thoroughly, all 
one will find in confirmation of these statements is that he had 
wonderfully thick eyebrows ! " At this juncture our friend 
ordered Selifan to drive on as rapidly as possible ; and then he 
said to himself, " It's as well, on the whole, that we met the 
funeral procession : they say that it presages good luck to meet 
a corpse." 

Meanwhile the britchka had turned into some more deserted 
streets : soon only some long dark wooden fences stretched out on 
both sides, heralding the city limits. And then the pavement 
came to an end, and the barriers and the town were left behind. 
Now, there is nothing more before them, and they are again on 
the high road. And again, on either side, huge stones mark the 
versts ; there' are the supervisors of post-stations to be seen, to- 
gether with wells, peasants' carts, gray hamlets, brisk women, and 
bearded men running from the post-houses with bags of oats in 
their hands. A pedestrian in bast shoes, worn into holes, who 
has wandered eight hundred versts, is met ; then come little 
towns, nicely built, with tiny Avooden shops containing barrels 
of flour, bast shoes, meat-pies, and other trifles ; then there are 
bridges and fields stretching as far as the eye can reach. The 
antique equipages of the landed gentry come along ; next 
appears a soldier mounted on a horse, and carrying a green 
cotter with a leaden plate, which bears the inscription, " Such- 
and-such a battery of artillery ; " strips of land, green, yelloAV, 
and black, are visible here and there on the steppe ; songs re- 
sound afar ; crests of pine-trees peer forth amid the mist ; the 
tolling of a bell dies away in the distance ; crows fly across the 
sky as plentiful as flies, and beyond these stretches an illimitable 
horizon. 

As our friend Tchitchikofi" drove along he indulged in sundr)^ 
day-dreams. At the outset he felt nothing, and only gazed 
behind him, desirous of assuring himself that he had really 
emerged from the town ; but when he saw that the town had 
long since disappeared from view, that neither a smithy, a mill, 
nor any of those things which are found in the vicinity of towns 
was visible, that even the Avhite steeples of the stone churches 
had, as it were, long since sunk into the earth, he devoted his 



174 DEAD SOULS. 

attention to the road alone, glancing to right and left. The 

town of N became in his memory as though it had never 

existed, — ^"as though he had merely passed through it long, long 
ago, in the days of his childhood. At length, even the road 
ceased to occupy him ; and he began to close his eyes, and to 
recline upon his pillow. The author is glad that such was the 
case, since it affords him an opportunity to speak of his hero ; 
for so far, as the reader has seen, he has been constantly 
hindered in this design, — now by Nozdreff, now by balls, then 
by the ladies, then by the town gossip, — in short, by a thousand 
of those matters which seem mere trifles when transferred to a 
book, but which are regarded as extremely important affairs 
when they actually take place. But we will now lay them com- 
pletely on one side, and occupy ourselves with our hero's 
antecedents. 

His origin was obscure and modest. His parents belonged to 
the nobility, but whether to the ancient aristocracy or to the 
nobility by right of office, God only knows. He did not re- 
semble them in features : at all events, a female relative who 
was present at his birth exclaimed, as she took him in her 
arms, " He has not turned out at all as I expected ! He ought 
to look like his grandmother on his mother's side, and it would 
have been better so ; but he has been born just as the proverb 
says, neither like mother nor like father, but like some passing 
youth." 

Life gazed rather sourly and unpleasantly on him at first, 
through a dim little window with the snow piled against it : he 
had neither friend nor comrade in his childhood. A tiny room, 
with little windows which were opened neither in winter nor 
in summer ; his invalid father in a long surtout lined with lamb- 
skin, and knitted slippers, who sighed incessantly as he paced 
up and down and spat in the sand-box in the corner ; intermin- 
able sittings on a form with a pen in his hand, and ink on both 
his fingers and his lips ; the constantly repeated precept, "Never 
lie, but obey your elders, and bear your benefactor in your 
heart ; " a never-ceasing scraping and scuffling about the room ; 
a familiar but always surly voice, "You have been at your 
pranks again! " which echoed through the apartment whenever, 
weary of the monotony of work, he added some flourish or 
tail to a letter ; and an equally familiar and always unpleasant 
sensation, when these words were followed by the twisting of 
his ears, — behold here the dismal picture of his childhood and 
early youth, of which his memory barely retained a faint 
image. 



DEPARTURE ON FRESH ENTERPRISES. 175 

But everything in life is subject to sudden and lively changes : 
and one day, with the first spring sunshine and shower, the 
father took his son, and set out with him in a telyega, drawn 
by a gaunt piebald horse. The coachman who drove this 
animal was a little humpback, the head of the only family of 
serfs owned by Tchitchikoft's father, and who occupied himself 
with nearly all the duties of the household. They drove along 
with the piebald for more than a day and a half; they passed 
the night on the road, crossed a river, lunched on some cold 
meat-pie and roast mutton, and only reached the city on the 
morning of the third day. 

Before the boy's eyes shone the streets of the city in un- 
expected splendour, making him keep his mouth open for 
several minutes. The piebald, in company with the telyega, 
tumbled into a hole near a narrow alley, which inclined down- 
wards, and was blocked up with mud ; then for a long time the 
animal laboured there with all its might, splashed about with 
its legs, aided by the hunchback, and even by the master him- 
self, and finally they reached a small courtyard, with two dilapi- 
dated apple-trees in front of a little old house with a narrow 
back garden, planted only with wild cherry-trees and lilacs, 
and concealing in its depths a wooden sentry-box v/hich was 
full of rubbish, and had a dim, narrow window. 

In this house dwelt a relative of theirs, a little witherod-up 
old woman, who still went to market every morning, and after- 
wards dried her stockings on her samovar. She tapped the 
little lad on the cheek, and admired his plumpness. With her 
he was to remain, whilst attending the classes every day at the 
college of the town. His father passed the night there, and 
set out homewards on the following day. No tears were shed 
by his parent when they parted : the boy was given half a 
rouble in copper as pocket-money, and, what is much more 
important, some very wise advice : " Look here, Pavlusha, 
study well, don't be stupid, and don't play tricks," said his 
father. " Most of all, please your teachers and your superiors. 
If you please your teachers, you will get into the right road 
and distance all the others, even if you do not succeed in the 
sciences, and even if God has not endowed you with any talent. 
Don't associate with your comrades, they will teach you no 
good ; but if it must be so, then associate with those who are 
the wealthiest, and who can be of the most service to you in case 
of need. Do not make any presents, nor treat any one, but 
rather behave so that others may give you presents. Save all 
you can : that is the surest recipe in the world. Your friends 



176 DEAD SOULS. 

or comrades Would cheat you, and in adversity tliey would be 
the first to betray you ; but money will never betray you, no 
matter in what straits you may be. You can do everything, 
you can accomplish anything in the world, with money." After 
bestowing this advice upon our hero, his father took leave of 
him, and dragged himself home again, behind his piebald. 
From that day forth Tchitchikoff' never beheld his parent again ; 
but his words and exhortations had sunk deep into his soul. 

Pavlusha began to attend the classes on the very next day. Ho 
did not appear to have any especial capacity for any particular 
branch of learning ; he merely distinguished himself by his 
diligence and cleanliness ; but, in compensation, he exhibited 
great talents in another direction — that of practical life. He 
divined or comprehended a matter on the instant, and con- 
ducted himself in such a manner that his comrades actually did 
give him presents ; and he not only never gave them any, but 
sometimes he even hoarded up their gifts, and afterwards sold 
them back to them. 

While still a child, he learned how to deny himself every- 
thing. He did not spend a copeck of the half-rouble which his 
father had given him : on the contrary, he made an addition to 
it that same year, which displayed uncommon skill. He 
moulded a bullfinch out of some wax, coloured it, and sold it at 
a good profit. Then, in the course of time, he entered into 
other speculations, and this is what they consisted in : he 
purchased some eatables in the market, seated himself in the 
class near those who had the most money, and as soon as he 
observed one of his companions growing weary — which was a 
sign of approaching hunger — he thrust some gingerbread or a 
roll into his hand, under the form, as though by accident ; 
having thus incited his schoolfellow, he demanded payment in 
proportion to his appetite. For two months also he toiled in his 
own quarters in training a mouse, which he had shut up in a 
little wooden cage ; and at length he succeeded to such a degree, 
that the mouse stood on its hind-legs, lay down, and rose up at 
the word of command ; and then he sold it in an advantageous 
manner. When he had amassed money to the amount of five 
roubles or so, he made a little bag for it, and began to hoard up 
his cash. 

He behaved with even more sagacity in the case of his 
superiors. No one knew how to sit upon a form more quietly 
than he. It must here be remarked that his teacher was a great 
lover of quietness and good conduct, and that he could not 
endure the clever and witty boys ; it seemed to him as though 



DEPARTURE ON FRESH ENTERPRISES. 177 

they must infallibly be laughing at him. It sufficed for any 
youngster, who had caused himself to be remarked for clever- 
ness, to make the slightest movement, or unintentionally con- 
tract his eyebrows, for the teacher to fall suddenly upon him. 
He would persecute and punish the youngster unmercifully. 
" I'll drive the conceit and disobedience out of you, my lad!" 
he said : "I know you through and through, better than you 
know yourself. Here, go down on your knees to me ! You 
shall go hungry ! " And the poor boy would have to rub his 
knees, and fast for twenty-four hours, without knowing why. 
" Capacity and talent ! that's all nonsense ! " the master was 
wont to say : " I only look at conduct. I will give full marks in 
all the branches to the boy who does not even know the first letter 
of the alphabet, provided he behaves himself in a praiseworthy 
way ; and I'll give bad marks to the boy in whom I perceive 
an inclination to ridicule or an evil disposition, even although 
he could grasp Solon by the belt and throw him." 

Thus spoke this teacher, who to the day of his death never 
loved Kruilofi/'' because the latter had said, " Drink if you be so 
inclined, but attend to study and business." This teacher was 
always relating with glee that in the academy where he had 
ruled before he came to that school, such silence reigned that 
you could hear the flies fly about ; and, he added, that not one 
of the pupils, the whole year round, ever coughed or blew his 
nose in school-time ; in fact, it was impossible to tell whether 
there was anyone in the room or not. 

Tchitchikoft' quickly caught the teacher's spirit, and his idea 
as to what constituted good behaviour. He never moved an 
eye or an eyebrow all the time that the class lasted, no matter 
how much the others might pinch him behind. As soon as the 
bell rang, he rushed headlong so as to be the first to hand the 
teacher his three-cornered hat, for the teacher wore one of that 
description, And then our hero was the first to leave the class- 
room, and contriving to encounter the master three times on 
the way, he pulled ofi" his cap repeatedly. These manoeuvres 
were completely successful. During the whole of his stay at 
that school, he received excellent marks ; and on leaving it, 
he obtained a certificate of thorough acquirements in all branches 
of knowledge, and a book, with an inscription in gilt letters, 
" for exemplary diligence and admirable conduct." 

On emerging from the academy, he found himself a youth of 
sufficiently attractive personal appearance, and with a chin 
which required shaving. At this juncture his father died. His 
* A famous llussian writer of fables. 



178 DEAD SOULS. 

inheritance proved to consist of four badly-worn waistcoats, two 
ancient surtouts lined with lambskin, and an insignificant sum 
of money. Evidently his father had not been expert in accu- 
mulating copecks. Tchitchikofi" sold the venerable little house 
and the insignificant bit of land attached to it for a thousand 
roubles, and transported his seven serfs to town, with the inten- 
tion of settling there and entering the official service. 

At this juncture the poor teacher — the lover of silence and 
laudable conduct — was turned out of the academy for stupidity, 
or for some other fault. Then in grief he began to drink, 
and at length he had no money to purchase any liquor with : 
ill, without a mouthful of bread, or any assistance, he descended 
very low, to some God-forsaken, unwarmed kennel. His former 
pupils, the clever and bHlliant ones, in whom he had continually 
detected disobedience and conceited behaviour, on learning of 
his pitiable condition, immediately collected some money for him, 
selling several things of their 6Wn for that purpose, Pavlusha 
Tchitchikofi" alone declined to give anything, on the score of 
poverty, though at last he ofi'ered a five-copeck silver piece, 
which his comrades instantly flung away, saying, " Oh you 
miser ! " The poor teacher covered his face with his hands 
when he heard of such an act on the part of his former pupils ; 
tears poured from his dim eyes in a torrent, as though he had 
been a weak child. " God has brought me to tears on my death- 
bed ! " he exclaimed, in a feeble voice ; and he sighed heavily 
on hearing about Tchitchikofi", and immediately added, "Ah, 
Pavlusha ! How a man changes ! Surely he was very well 
behaved ! There was nothing boisterous about him — he was 
like silk. Ah ! he deceived me, deceived me ! " 

It is impossible to assert, however, that our hero's nature was 
so grim and harsh, that his feelings were dulled to such a degree, 
that he tnew neither pity nor sympathy ; he felt both the one 
and the other : he was even desirous of assisting the teacher, 
only not to the extent of a considerable sum of money, lest he 
might have to encroach upon the hoard which he had made up 
his mind not to touch. In short, his father's exhortation, " Save 
and amass money," had been of some avail. He had no actual 
love for money for the sake of money itself : he was not actuated 
by miserliness and greed. No, but life gleamed before his eyes, 
with all its pleasures, with all its possibilities : equipages, a 
handsomely mounted establishment, savoury dinners — it was 
all that which was constantly passing through his brain. So as 
to secure in the course of time all these things without fail, he 
saved up his money, denying it to himself and to others for a space. 



DEPARTURE ON FRESH ENTERPRISES. 179 

When a wealthy man drove past him in an elegant drozhky, 
■with trotters in rich harness, he halted as though rooted to the 
spot ; and when he came to himself, as though after a long 
dream, he said, " And that man was formerly a shop-clerk, and 
wore his hair cut in a ring! "'•' Everything which smacked of 
wealth or ease produced upon our hero an impression which was 
inexplicable, even to himself. 

On leaving the academy, he did not even care to take a 
holiday, so sti'ong within him was his desire to set to work and 
enter the service. Nevertheless, in spite of his laudatory 
credentials, he had great difficulty in obtaining a situation in 
the department of justice. Even in the most remote corners of 
the land, influence is required. At last he obtained an insig- 
nificant little place : the salary was only thirty or forty roubles 
a year. But he resolved to apply himself ardently to his duties, 
to conquer and to overcome everything. And in fact, he dis- 
played great self-sacrifice and patience, and incredible economy 
even as regards the necessaries of life. From early morning 
until late at night he wrote, straining every power of mind and 
body, and wholly absorbed in the duties of his post. He did not 
go home, he slept on the tables in the office ; he sometimes took 
his meals with the watchmen ; and withal, he managed to re- 
main clean, to dress respectably, to communicate a pleasant ex- 
pression to his face, and something even noble to his movements. 

It must be stated that the officials in the department of 
justice were especially distinguished for their lack of comeliness 
and for their deficiency of understanding. Some of them had 
faces looking exactly like badly baked bread : one fellow's 
cheeks were swollen, another's chin was twisted up, the upper lip 
of a third had swollen like a bladder, and burst ; in short, such 
faces were not handsome at all. Tbey all spoke, too, in a surly 
way, in voices which seemed to indicate that they were on the 
point of beating someone ; and they frequently sacrificed to 
Bacchus, thus demonstrating that a large remnant of heathendom 
still lingers in the nature of the Slav. At times they even 
entered the offices in a drunken condition, which rendered the 
offices unpleasant, and the air anything but aromatic. 

Among such officials Tchitchikoft" could not fail to attract 
attention and to be distinguished from the rest, presenting, as 
he did, a complete contrast, both as to his comely countenance, 
the courtesy of his voice, and his entire abstinence from all 
strong liquors. Yet, despite all this, his path was a thorny one. 

* Referring to the circular mode of cutting the hair among low-clasa 
Russians. 



180 DEAD SOULS. 

He had fallen upon a superior who was very antiquated in his 
customs, who prided hiraself on his stony insensibility ; and who 
was eternally the same, always unapproachable. Never in his life 
had a smile dawned on his face, never had he once greeted any- 
one with an inquiry as to his health. No one had ever beheld 
him otherwise, whether in the street or at his own house ; 
never once had he shown any interest in anything. Ah ! if he 
had only drunk himself drunk for once, and in his intoxication 
have indulged in a laugh ! if he had but yielded to a little wild 
mirth, such as a brigand indulges in, in a moment of intoxication ! 
But there was no prospect of anything of that kind happening, 
there was neither vice nor goodness in him, and this utter 
absence of failings and qualities produced an odd impression. 
His marble-like countenance, which lacked any striking irre- 
gularity, hinted at no resemblance to anyone or anything else ; 
his features were harshly symmetrical and covered with 
numerous pock-marks, so that it was said that the Devil came 
by night to grind his peas on his countenance. 

It seemed as though it were not in the power of mortal man 
to insinuate himself into the good graces of such a person, but 
Tchitchikoff made the experiment. At first he began by 
pleasing him in all sorts of insignificant trifles : he looked care- 
fully after the mending of his pens, and laid them close to his 
hand ; he blew and swept all the spilt sand and tobacco from his 
superior's table, he brought him a fresh rag for his ink-bottle ; 
he hunted up his hat for him, — the shabbiest hat that ever 
existed in this world, — and on each occasion laid it at his elbow 
at the very moment when the ofiice closed ; he brushed his back 
if it had become dirty through contact with the whitening on 
the walls. But all this passed by absolutely unnoticed, as 
though nothing of the sort had been done. At length Tchitchikoff 
got wind of his superior's home and family life : he learned that 
he had a marriageable daughter, who also possessed one of 
those faces which look as though peas had been ground upon it, 
and he meditated making an attack in that quarter. 

Having found out what church she attended on Sundays, he 
placed himself right opposite her every week, cleanly dressed, 
with a well-starched shirt-front ; and the manoeuvre was a 
success : the grim chief wavered, and invited him to tea. Then 
before they had time to look about them in the office, Tchitchikoff 
had transferred himself to the chiefs house, had become 
necessary, indispensable to him. He purchased his flour and 
sugar ; he behaved to the daughter as though she were his be- 
trothed ; called the chief "papa," and kissed his hand. Every- 



DEPARTURE OX FRESH ENTERPRISES. 181 

one in the chancellery canae to the conclusion that the wedding 
would take place at the end of February, before the beginning 
of the long fast. The stern head of the department even began 
to interest himself on Tchitchikofi's behalf with the authorities, 
and in a short time our hero was given a vacant appointment 
which had been discovered. This, to all appearances, was the 
principal object of his connection with his supei"ior ; for his 
trunk was immediately and clandestinely removed from the 
latter's house, and on the following day he was settled in new 
quarters. He ceased to call the chief " papa," and no longer 
kissed his hand ; the subject of the marriage, too, was dropped, 
as though there had never existed any idea of such a thing. 
However, he once met the old gentleman, and, pressing his hand 
in a flattering way, he invited him to tea ; so that the old chief, 
in spite of his eternal immobility and hard indifference, shook 
his head every time that he thought of it, and muttered to him- 
self, " He cheated me, he deceived me, that son of the Devil ! " 
This was the most difficult threshold which our hero stepped 
across. From that time on, he progressed more easily and with 
more success. He became a man of note. He appeared to have 
every quality which is adapted to this world — an agreeable way 
of dealing with people, and suitable boldness in handling matters 
of business. By these means, he shortly gained what is called a 
lucrative position, and availed himself of it in the most 
superior manner. The reader must be informed that, at that 
time, the strictest prosecution was instituted for every descrip- 
tion of bribe-taking. This did not alarm our hero, however ; 
he immediately proceeded to turn it to his own account, dis- 
playing thereby genuine Kussian ingenuity, which only shews 
itself in cases of emergency. This is how he arranged matters. 
As soon as a petitioner made his appearance, and thrust his 
hand into his pocket, in order to draw therefrom the familiar 
letter of recommendation, with the signature of Prince Kho- 
vansky, as we used to express ourselves in Russia at that 
period," Tchitchikoff would stay his hand, saying with a smile, 
"No, no, you think that I — no, no! this is our duty; we are 
under obligations to do it ; we must do it without any re- 
muneration. You may rest easy on that point : everything 
will be completed to-morrow. Allow me to inquire where you 
are lodging ? It is not necessary that you should put yourself 
to any personal trouble : everything will be brought to you at 
your own house." 

* For about half a century, Prince Khovansky signed all the imperial 
bank-notes, 



182 DEAD SOULS. 

The delighted applicant returned home almost in a state of 
ecstasy, thinking, " Here, at last, is a man of a kind which we 
ought to have more of: he is simply a precious diamond ! " 

But the petitioner waits one day, two days — and the matter 
is not brought to his house ; the third day it is the same. He 
betakes himself to the office: the afiair has not even been 
touched. Then he applies to the precious diamond : "Ah, excuse 
me ! " says Tchitchikoff very courteously, seizing him by both 
hands. "We are so worried with business! but to-morrow 
everything will be finished — to-morrow, without fail. Reallj^, 
I am mortified." And all this accompanied by the most 
fascinating manners. 

But neither on the morrow, nor on the day after, nor on the 
day after that, are the papers brought to the petitioner at his 
house. The petitioner falls to thinking, " Doesn't this signify 
something ? " He makes inquiries ; he is told "The copyists must 
be given something." — " Why not ? I am willing to give them 
twenty-five copecks ! " he exclaims. " Why do you get so 
heated over it ? " comes the reply. " This is the way it must be 
arranged : give a white-note to the copyist ; he himself will get a 
quarter of a rouble out of it, and the rest will go to the head, of 
the department." 

The slow-witted petitioner deals himself a blow on the fore- 
head, and curses the way in which the world is arranged now- 
adays, as well as the new customs, and the loftily courteous man- 
ners of the officials. " In former times, you used at least to know 
what you were about," he reflects. "If j^ou presented the head 
of the department with a red bank-note,* your business was as 
good as done, but now you have to spend a white-note, f and 
waste a week into the bargain, before you can guess what 
they are up to. May the Devil fly away with their disinterested- 
ness and official generosity ! " 

The petitioner was in the right, of course ; but, on the other 
hand, there were no longer any direct bribe-takers among 
the heads of departments, they were the most honest and the 
noblest of men : only the secretaries and the petty clerks were 
rascals. A much more extensive field soon presented itself to 
Tchitchikoff". A commission was appointed for the erection of 
some extremely important government building. He got him- 
self appointed on this commission, and appeared to be one of 
the most active of its members. The commission set to work 
at once. The process of erection dragged on for six years ; 

* Ten roubles. ^ f Twenty -five roubles. 



DEPARTURE ON FRESH ENTERPRISES. 183 

but the climate in some way interfered, or the buildinw materials 
were not what they should have been ; at all events, that 
government edifice never got any further than the foundations. 
But in the meantime, at the other extremity of the town, a 
handsome house, in the urban style of architecture, rose up for 
each member of the commission : obviously the soil was more 
propitious there. The members began to gather courage, too, 
and commenced to marry. 

It was only then that Tchitchikoft gradually began to relax 
in his strict rules of conduct and his pitiless self-sacrifice. It 
was only then that his long-continued fast was lightened ; and 
it appeared that he had never been averse to the various forms 
of enjoyment, from which he had known how to refrain during 
the fiery years of his youth, when no other man is able to 
control himself entirely. Some luxuries made their appear- 
ance at his place ; he indulged in a tolerably good cook, and in 
fine cambric shirts. He had already begun to purchase some 
cloth for his own use, such as no one else in the whole province 
wore ; and from that time forth he began to wear it — it was 
light brown or reddish in shade, and his coats were very much 
cut away in front. Then he had already set up an excellent 
pair of horses, and drove the team himself; he had also 
already contracted a habit of rubbing himself down with a 
sponge dipped in water mixed with eau-de-Cologne; he had 
already purchased some expensive soap for the purpose of im- 
parting smoothness to his skin ; he had already 

But all at once there was despatched, in the place of the easy- 
going chief, a new head of the department, who was a military 
man, a fierce general, a sworn foe of bribery, and of everything 
which is reckoned unjust. He frightened all the under-officials, 
down to the very last one ; on the second day he demanded their 
accounts, detected various deficits, found money missing at 
every step ; then he took note of his subordinates' handsome 
houses of urban architecture, and instituted an investigation. 
The ofiicials were dismissed from the service ; the houses of an 
ux-ban style of architecture were turned over to the treasury, 
and converted into various benevolent institutions and district 
schools ; everybody was blown into atoms, and Tchitchikoff' 
worse than all the rest. 

All of a sudden, his face, in spite of its agreeable expression, 
ceased to please the chief, just why God only knows — some- 
times there is no cause whatever for such a thing. At all events, 
the chief conceived a deadly hatred for Tchitchikoff and sacked 
him. But as this chief was a military man, it stood to reason 



184 DEAD SOULS. 

that he did not understand all the refinements in the methods of 
transacting ofiicial affairs ; indeed, after a brief interval, the 
new men he selected insinuated themselves into his good graces 
by feigning an upright appearance, and skillfully adapting 
themselves to circumstances ; and the honest chief speedily 
found himself in the hands of greater rascals than ever, although 
he had not taken them for such ; he even congratulated himself 
on having finally selected suitable men, and seriously flattered 
himself that he possessed high competence in the matter of dis- 
cerning character. The officials understood his mind and dis- 
position at once. Everything beneath his rule was carried on 
with a great show of honesty; and with such success that, 
within a short space of time, each one of his subordinates 
possessed a capital amounting to several thousand roubles. 

At this juncture many of the ex-oflScials were converted to 
the path of righteousness, and were re-admitted to the service. 
But Tchitchikoff could not manage to make his way back on any 
terms ; even the chief secretary, who had been induced to 
espouse his cause in consideration of some of Prince Khovansky's 
notes, and who led the general by the nose in all matters of 
business, could effect absolutely nothing in the present case. 
The chief belonged to that class of men who are led by the nose 
(without their knowledge, of course), but, if once an idea makes 
its way into their head, there it remains fast, exactly as though 
it were an iron nail : it is impossible to extract it in any manner 
whatever. All that the clever secretary could effect was the 
erasure of the beclouded record in the service register ; and this 
he only managed by an appeal to the chief's compassion by de- 
picting to him, in vivid colours, the miserable fate of Tchitchi- 
kofi"s unhappy family, which family, fortunately, our hero did 
not possess. 

" Well, this is a pretty situation ! " said Tchitchikofi". "My 
hook caught, it dragged me up, but it has broken loose — and 
that settles it. Crying won't assuage my grief: I must set to 
work again." So he resolved to begin his career afresh, to in- 
dulge in patience again, to deny himself everything, without 
regard to the free and luxurious style in which he had lately 
spent his money. 

It was necessary to remove to another town, and to acquire 
fame there. But for some reason he was not successful in his 
new ventures. He was obliged to make two or three changes 
in his employment in a very brief space of time ; the positions 
given him were dirty, and humiliating in a way. It must be 
stated that Tchitchikofl' was the most decorous man that ever 



DEPARTURE ON FRESH ENTERPRISES. 185 

existed in this world. Although he was forced, at first, to make 
his way in vile company, he always preserved his cleanliness of 
mind : he liked to have an office table of varnished wood, in 
fact, to have everything handsome about him. He never 
allowed himself to employ ungentlemanly language, and he 
always took oflence if he detected in the words of others any 
absence of the I'espect due to rank and office. I think that the 
reader will be gratified to learn that he changed his linen every 
two days in the winter, and every day in summer, when the 
weather was warm ; any smell M'hich was in the least degree 
unpleasant oflended him. For this reason, he always thrust a 
clove up his nose when Petrushka came to undress him and 
pull ofi' his boots ; and in many ways his nerves were as sensi- 
tive as those of a young girl. Hence, it was very hard for him 
to find himself again among the petty officials who were distin- 
guished by an odour of spirits, and by real indelicacy of habits. 

But brace his courage as he would, he all the same grew thin 
and even green, during this period of adversit3\ Previously he 
had already begun to grow plump, and to acquire those rounded, 
respectable outlines which, as the reader has seen, he possessed 
when we became acquainted with him ; and many a time he had 
gazed in the glass, and meditated on much that was agreeable 
— such as a pretty little wife and children — and a smile had 
followed his thoughts ; but now, when he glanced, accidentally 
as it were, at himself in the mirror, he could not refrain from 
exclaiming, " Holy Mother of God, how hideous I have grown ! " 
And for a long time thereafter he did not care to look at 
himself. 

However, our hero endured all, he endured it, endured it 
bravely and patiently, and — at length he passed into the custom- 
house service. It must be stated that this branch of the service 
had long formed the secret goal of his desires. He had observed 
Avhat dainty foreign articles the custom-house officials possessed 
at home, what porcelain and muslin they presented to their 
lady cronies, their sisters, and their aunts. Long previously 
he had many a time said, with a sigh, " That's the place to be 
in : the frontier is close at hand, the people are cultivated, and 
what fine cambric shirts one could indulge in ! " 

It must be added, that in this connection he also thought of a 
certain special. sort of French soap, which imparted a remark- 
able whiteness to the skin and freshness to the cheeks. What 
its name was, God only knew : but he assumed that it must in- 
fallibly be found abroad. Thus, he had long pined to enter the 
custom-house service, but he had been withheld from doing so 



186 DEAD SOULS. 

for a long time by the profits wliick flowed to him from the 
building commission ; and he had judged wisely, that the cus- 
tom-house service, however desirable it might be, was nothing 
more than a crane afar in the heavens, while the building com- 
mission was certainly a titmouse in the hand. 

Now, however, he Avas resolved to make his way into the cus- 
tom-house service at any cost, and he accomplished it. He en- 
tered upon his duties with extraordinaryzeal. It seemed as though 
fate itself had destined him to be a custom-house official. Such 
skill, penetration, and acumen had never been seen, or even 
heard of before. In three or four weeks he had attained to 
such dexterity in custom-house matters, that he positively knew 
all that there was to be known : he no longer weighed or 
measured, but he could judge from the wrapper how many 
arshins there were in any piece of cloth, or any other material. 
On taking a package in his hand, he could instantly tell how 
many pounds it weighed. In searching for hidden goods, his 
own comrades declared that he possessed a regular dog's scent ; 
indeed, it was impossible not to experience some surprise at wit- 
nessing how patient he was in feeling every button ; and this he 
did with deadly equanimity and incredible courtesy. 

When the people whom he was searching lost their tempers, 
flew into a rage, and experienced a malicious desire to spoil his 
agreeable face with their fists, he merely remarked, without any 
change in the expression of his countenance, or the suavity of 
his manners, " Will you not be so good as to stand up ? " or, 
" Will you not be so kind, madam, as to step into the other 
room ? the wife of one of our officials will come to an explana- 
tion with you there ; " or, " Permit me to open the lining of 
your cloak a trifle with my penknife ; " and so saying he would 
draw forth a shawl or a kerchief, with as much nonchalance as 
though it had been from his own trunk. His superiors ad- 
mitted that he was the Devil himself, and not a man : he dis- 
covered goods in wheels, in shafts, in a horse's ears, and in no- 
body knows what other places besides, where it would never 
enter the author's head to hide them, and where no one but a 
custom-house official could find them. Thus the poor traveller 
who crossed the frontier lost his wits for several minutes, and 
could only cross himself, and say, as he wiped away the perspi- 
ration which had broken out all over his body, " Well, well ! " 
The traveller's position very much resembled that of the scholar 
who has just emerged from the private apartment where his 
master has summoned him to receive an exhortation, but where 
he has quite unexpectedly treated him to a flogging. 



DEPARTURE ON FRESH ENTERPRISES. 187 

In a very short time the smugglers found that there was no 
tricking our hero. Woe and despair reigned throughout all 
Polish Jewry. His honesty and incorruptibility were invincible, 
almost superhuman. He did not even collect a little capital for 
himself out of the various confiscated wares, and other articles 
which were seized in divers manners, and which did not reach 
the treasury, because they would necessitate superfluous cor 
respondence. Such zealously disinterested service could not 
fail to become the subject of general admiration, and at length 
it came to the knowledge of the chiefs. Our hero received a 
promotion of one rank (tchin) ; and then he presented a scheme 
for trapping all the smugglers, merely requesting that he might 
be furnished with the means of conducting the afiair himself. 
He was immediatel}' intrusted with the command, and with un- 
limited power to conduct any and all sorts of searches. That 
was all he wanted. 

At that time a large band of smugglers had been organised 
on a regular and well-conceived plan. The profits of this bold 
enterprise were reckoned by the million. Our friend had long 
known of its existence, and had even refused to wink at its 
doings, when an envoy had been despatched to buy him, saying 
dryly, " The proper time has not yet arrived." But at the very 
moment when he had got the entire disposition of aflairs into his 
own hands, he informed the band that the time had arrived. 
His calculations were well founded. In one year he might 
obtain more money than he could earn in twenty. He had not 
cared to enter into relations with these people before, because 
then he had only been an insignificant individual, and, conse- 
quently, he would have received but little ; but now, now it 
was quite another matter, he could make what terms he pleased. 
In order that the business might progress without loss or hin- 
drance, he confided in another ofiicial, a comrade of his, who was 
unable to resist the seduction despite the fact that his hair was 
white. The terms were agreed upon, and the company began 
operations. 

Business opened in a brilliant manner. The reader has 
doubtless heard the ancient and oft-repeated anecdote about 
the clever journeys of the Spanish sheep, who used to cross 
the frontier-line of Kussia in a double fleece, carrying a million's 
worth of Brabant lace beneath their outer fleece. This occurred 
at the very time that Tchitchikofl' was in the customs' service. 
Had he not participated in the smuggling undertaking, no Jew 
in existence could have carried such a thing to a successful ter- 
mination. After three or four journeys of the sheep across the 



188 DEAD SOULS. 

frontier, Tchitchikoff and his brother official each found them- 
selves in possession of a capital of four hundred thousand 
roubles. It was even said that Tchitchikofl", being the more 
daring, secured over five hundred thousand. 

God alone knows to what vast amount these delightful sums 
would have increased, had not the cursed fiend ruined the whole 
business. The Evil One threw the two officials into a tifi"; 
the functionaries, to speak plainly, quarrelled about the veriest 
trifle. It came about in the heat of conversation, and possibly 
they may have been drinking a little. Tchitchikoff called the 
other official a " pope's son " ; and the latter, although he was 
in reality the son of a priest, took violent ofi'ence — no one 
knew why — and instantly retorted in a vigorous and remark- 
ably cutting manner, as follows, " No, you lie ! I am the son of 
a councillor of state, not a pope's sou ; and as for you — why 
you are a pope's son yourself!" And in his pique, he added, 
for the further exasperation of his adversary, " Yes, that's it 
precisely ! " 

Although he had thoroughly quenched Tchitchikoff" by thus 
bestowing upon him the epithet which had been applied to him- 
self, and although the expression, " That's precisely it ! " was a 
trifle strong, yet, not satisfied with all this, he sent a private 
denunciation of our friend to the authorities. Moreover, 
it was said that there had also been a quarrel between them 
over a pretty little woman, who, according to the expression of 
the custom-house functionai'ies, was as stout and as rosy as a 
fresh beet ; and it was added that men had been hired by our 
hero's rival to give him a sound drubbing at night in a dark 
alley. However, both officials were being deceived, as the 
pretty little woman really favoured a certain Staff'-Captain Sham- 
shareff". God only knows how the matter actually stood : let 
the reader who likes doing so invent a case to suit himself. 
The chief point is, that the secret relations with the smugglers 
were made public. Although the councillor of state's son 
ruined himself, he succeeded in thoroughly revenging hiruself 
on his comrade. Tchitchikoff" was brought before the court, 
everything which he possessed was confiscated and catalogued, 
and the whole aff"air burst over his head with the suddenness of 
a clap of thunder. Both the confederates recovered themselves 
as from a stupor, and then they realised what they had done. 
The councillor of state's son would not stand trial, but perished 
in some obscure retreat ; while our hero, already a collegiate 
councillor, stood his trial. He had managed to conceal a portion 
of his money, fine as was the scent of the investigating com- 



BfiPARTtJRE ON FRESH ENTERPRISES. 189 

mittee appointed by his chiefs. In defending himself, too, he 
employed all the most subtle subterfuges of a mind which was 
already well experienced and versed in the ways of men ; in one 
case he employed fascinations of manner ; in another aflecting 
speeches; in yet another he threw dust in his superior's eyes by 
means of flattery, which never harms any case whatever ; and 
in a fourth instance he slipped a little money into the proper hand. 
In short, he adjusted the matter in such a fashion that he Avas 
not left in the dishonoured position of his companion, but 
escaped punishment. However, there no longer remained to him 
either his five hundred thousand roubles or his various foreign 
trifles, or anything else ; other amateurs had laid hands on all 
of them. Still he retained a little hoard of ten thousand 
roubles, which he had concealed in provision for a dark day ; 
together with a couple of dozen cambric shirts, a little britchka, 
such as is used by bachelors, and two serfs — the coachman 
Selifan and the valet Petrushka ; moreover, the custom-house 
officials, moved by compassion, left him five or six pieces of 
soap for the preservation of his ros}^ complexion — and that 
was all. So behold the situation in which our hero again found 
himself! Behold what a mass of misfortune had descended 
upon his head! This was what he designated as " suflering 
for the right in the service." 

It might now be surmised that after such storms, experiences, 
after such fickleness of fate, and human woe, he would depart 
to some distant and tranquil solitude, to some little pi'ovincial 
town, with his ten thousand roubles whicji had cost him so dear, 
and wither away in a chintz dressing-gown, at the window of a 
tiny house ; or else, by way of recreation, stroll out into the 
chicken-yard, and feel each pullet which was destined for the 
table — indeed, in this manner, lead a noiseless but in its own 
way, not entirely useless life. 

However, this was not the way that things turned out. 
Justice must be rendered to our hero's invincible strength of 
character. After all this, which would have sufiiced, if not to 
annihilate, at least to cool and calm another man for ever, his 
unconquerable passion was not at all dulled within him. He 
was grieved, he was vexed, he grumbled against all the world, 
he was indignant at the injustice of fate, he was enraged by the 
injustice of men ; and yet he could not refrain from fresh 
attempts. In a word, he displayed a patience in comparison 
with which that of a plodding German is nothing, since the 
latter is solely due to the slow, languid circulation of his blood. 
Tchitchikofi''s blood, on the contrary, flowed briskly ; but the 



190 Dead souls. 

exercise of much thoughtful volition was required to enable him 
to cast out his hook at anything now likely to yield him 
profit. 

He reflected, and his thoughts obviously took this point of 
view : " Why do I exist ? Why has misfortune overwhelmed 
me ? Who cares about one's duties nowadays ? Everybody 
wins his way. I have not rendered anyone unhappy ; I have 
not plundered the widow ; I have not turned anyone adrift 
penniless on the world ; I have merely availed myself of super- 
fluous cash. I accepted it in cases where any one would have 
taken it ; if I had not taken advantage of the chance, other 
people would have done so. Why do others thrive while I 
become food for the worm ? And what am I now ? What am 
I good for ? With what eyes must I now gaze into those of 
any respectable father of a family ? How can I avoid feeling 
the gnawing of conscience, knowing, as I do, that I am a useless 
burden on the earth ? And what will my children say here- 
after ? ' There,' they will say, ' is our beast of a father : he 
will leave us no property at all ! ' " 

It has already been seen that Tchitchikofi" worried a great 
deal over his posterity. Such a tender subject it is ! Perhaps 
even some other man would not have purloined so much if it 
had not been for the question which, for some unknown reason, 
springs up of itself, " What will the children say ? " So 
behold the future founder of a race, like a cautious cat, which, 
with a sidelong glance, observes whether the master be not 
looking, and then hastily seizes everything which is within its 
reach, whether it be soap or candles or tallow, or a canary bird, 
which in short, lets nothing whatever escape it. 

Thus, our hero wept and complained : but, in the meantime, 
he never ceased exercising his wits. Again he retired within 
himself; again he stinted himself in everyway; again he under- 
took to lead a hard life ; again he descended from a clean and 
respectable existence to dirt and the life of the lowly. And 
while awaiting something better, he was fain to engage in the 
calling of a steward — a calling which has not hitherto been 
largely adopted by our citizen classes, for a steward receives 
buffets from all quarters, is but little respected by the petty-clerk 
tribe, or even by confidential agents, is condemned to dance 
attendance in ante-rooms, and to put up with impertinence and 
so on ; however, necessity obliged our hero to make up his 
mind to everything. 

Among the commissions which fell to him in this new capacity 
was the mortgaging of several hundred peasants to the Council 



DEPARTtJRE OK FRESH ENTERPRISES. 191 

of Guardians.* His employer's estate was ruined to the last 
degree. It had suffered from murrain among the cattle ; from 
the depredations of rascally overseers ; from bad harvests ; 
from epidemic diseases ; from the death of the best workmen ; 
and, most of all, from the senseless behaviour of the owner, 
who had decorated a gorgeous house in Moscow in the latest 
taste, and had thus spent his very last copeck, so that he had 
nothing left to purchase food for himself. For this reason, he 
was finally compelled to mortgage his last remaining serfs. 
This pawning was a new thing in those days, and it was not 
decided upon without fear and trembling. Tchitchikoff, in his 
capacity of agent, after having first rendered all the oflicials 
fevourable (it is well known that, without conciliating them not 
an application is ever entertained, not an inquiry answered), 
having thus acquired the favour of all of them, he explained to 
the secretary that one-half of the peasants having died, there 
might be a lot of trouble as regards the security. 

" But they are still reckoned on the census-list ? " said the 
secretary. 

"Yes, they are so reckoned," replied Tchitchikoff. 

"Well, what are you afraid of ? " said the secretary: "one 
has died, another has been born, so the people remain available 
all the same." 

The secretary evidently understood how to talk to the point. 
But in the meantime, the most inspired thought that ever 
entered a human brain had flashed upon that of our hero. 

"Ah, I am a regular Akim the Simpleton! " he said to 
himself: "I have been hunting for my mittens, and they are 
both in my belt ! Now, suppose that I buy all the souls which 
have died since the last census was taken ; and suppose that I 
obtain a thousand of them, say, and that the Council of Guar- 
dians will lend, say, two hundred roubles a soul ; there I shall 
~Tiave a capital of two hundred thousand roubles ! And the times 
are propitious just now : there was an epidemic not long ago, 
and not a few people died, glory be to God ! The landed gentry 
have also been losing at cards, and carousing and squandering 
in proper fashion ; everybody has crawled ofl" to Petersburg, to 

* The Council of Guardians is a grand banking establishment, directed 
by a council -which governs various institutes for orphans and deaf-mutes, 
placed under the patronage of the reigning empress. Money can be de- 
posited there at an interest of four per cent., and both real and personal 
property can be mortgaged there. Serfs to the number of ten thousand 
could be pawned there in former times, when one of this Council's most 
considerable sources of income was the monopoly of plajong- cards, which 
in Kussia, as elsewhere, insures a safe and lucrative revenue. ^ 



192 DEAD SOULS. 

enter the service ; their estates are abandoned, or managed at 
hap-hazard ; they find it harder every year to pay their taxes ; 
so it may chance that I shall be able to earn a copeck once more. 
Of course, it is difficult and troublesome, and it would be 
the finishing touch if any scandal arose from this. But vphat is 
a man's mind given to him for ! To contend with difficulties of 
course. And the best thing about it is, that the afi'air will 
appear incredible to everybody, and no one will believe it. It 
is true that without land it is impossible either to purchase or 
to pawn serfs. But I will buy them for colonisation — for 
colonisation ! The land in the provinces of Tauris and Kherson is 
now given away gratuitously to anyone who will settle upon it. 
I will take them all there ! To the Khersonese with them ! 
There let them live ! And the colonisation can be efiiected in 
legal form, according to the decrees of the courts. If the 
officials want to review the serfs, I won't object. I will present 
a certificate, with the signature of the captain-ispravnik himself. 
The village can be styled the ' TchitchikofF Sloboda,'* or else 
called after my baptismal name, the ' Hamlet of Pavlovskoe.' " 

So this is the way in which that strange project was formed 
in the brain of our hero ; and I am not sure whether the reader 
will feel grateful or not to him for conceiving it ; but it is 
difiicult to express how grateful the author is to him, for say 
what you like, had this scheme never entered the head of 
our friend Tchitchikofi", this book would never have made its 
appearance on the earth. 

Our hero crossed himself in Russian fashion, and set to 
work. Under pretence of selecting a place of residence, and 
other suitable pretexts, he undertook to obtain a peep at various 
corners of our empire, and especially at those which had suffered 
more than the others from mishaps — bad crops, mortality, and 
so forth : in short, all the spots where he could most comfortably 
and cheaply purchase the people whom he required. He did 
not address himself at random to any landowner, but selected 
the men who were most to his taste, or those with whom the 
transaction of such business would present the fewest difficulties, 
after first making their acquaintance, and disposing them in his 
favour, so that, as far as possible, he might acquire the dead 
serfs out of friendship, instead of by purchase. 

This, then, is the complete portrait of our hero. But a final 
explanation of one characteristic may be required : What is he 

* A sloboda in ancient times was a village in the suburbs of a town, 
peopled by feudal retainers. 



DEPARTURE ON FRESH ENTERPRISES. 193 

as regards moral qualities ? That he is not a hero composed 
of perfection and virtue is obvious. Who is he ? A knave, of 
course. Why a knave ? Why be so stern towards another ? 
There are no knaves among us now : there are only well- 
intentioned people, agreeable people abroad ; and they are all 
talking of virtue. 

No doubt the public will be dissatisfied with our hero ; but 
this is not so hard to bear as is the fact that there lives in tho 
author's mind the invincible conviction that, under different 
circumstances, his readers might have been pleased with this 
same hero, with this very Tchitchikoff. If the author had not 
looked deeper than others into his hero's soul, if he had not 
beheld in its depths things which escape most people ; if he had 
not revealed the secret thoughts for which no man gives another 
credit, but had depicted him in the light in which he appeared 
to the whole town, to Maniloff and other persons, then every- 
one would have been delighted, and would have considered him 
a very interesting man. Perhaps neither his face nor his per- 
sonality, as a whole, would have struck the eye so forcibly ; but, 
on the other hand, on finishing the perusal of this story, the 
reader's soul would not have been in the least moved, and ho 
might have turned once more to the card-table, which is the 
universal comforter in Russia. Yes, my good readers, you 
would have preferred not to see the man's meanness laid bare. 
" Why," you say, " to what purpose is this ? Do we not our- j 

.gelyes know that there is much which is stupid and despicable 
in li fe?~" And moreover it frequently happens that we behold 
things which are not at all cheerful. Show us rather some- i 
thing very beautiful, very attractive : it is better to forget our- » 
selves." " Why, my friend, do you inform me that domestic 

^matters are going so badly? " says the master to his steward. 
"I know all that without your telling me, my good fellow; 
haven't you anything else to talk about ? I don't want to 
know about it : let me forget it, and then I shall be happy." / 1/ 
And then the money which would have gone so far towards 
righting matters is employed in various ways in lulling the 
master to forgetfulness. The mind which might, perhaps, have 
invented a means of acquiring vast wealth, slumbers ; and so 
at last the estates go bang ! to the auction — and the master goes 
forth into the wide world to forget himself with a soul prepai-ed 
in its dire need to accomplish vile deeds which would have terri- 
fied it before. 

Why hide all this ? Why hesitate over words ? Why be 
chary of calling things by their right names ? Who, if not an 

N 



194 DEAD SOULS. 

author, is to speak the truth ? You are afraid of a deep, 
scrutinizing glance ; you shrink from fixing a deep gaze upon 
anything yourselves ; yoa are fond of slipping past everything, 
•with, eyes which see nothing. You even laugh heartily at Tchi- 
tchikoff; perhaps you even praise the author; you say, "At 
any rate, he has sketched him cleverly. He must be a jolly 
sort of a man ! " And after these words, you turn with 
redoubled arrogance to yourselves, a self-satisfied smile makes 
its appearance on your countenances, and you add, "Well it 
must be admitted that people are dreadfully queer in some of 
our provinces, and there must be a few rascals among them ! " 
However, which of you, filled with Christian humility, will dive 
into the depths of his own soul, and not aloud, but in silence 
and solitude, in moments of isolated self-communion, will put to 
himself the weighty question, "And is there not some taint of 
Tchitchikofi" in me also ? " ,; Why not, indeed ? Still you never 
say that of yourself; but if some acquaintance of neither very 
lofty nor very low rank passes by, you instantly nudge your 
neighbour, and say to him, almost bursting with laughter the 
while, "Look, look! there is Tchitchikoff! Tchitchikoflf has 
passed by ! " and then, like a child, oblivious of all the respect 
which is due to rank and years, you will run after him, imitate 
him behind his back, and say, "Tchitchikoff"! Tchitchikoff"! 
Tchitchikoff!" 

But we have been talking in rather a loud tone of voice, 
forgetful of the fact that our hero, who has slumbered while we 
have recounted his life, is awake now, and might easily over- 
hear his name, thus often repeated. He is a man who takes 
off"ence readily, and who does not like to have people express 
themselves disrespectfully with regard to him. No doubt it 
matters little to the reader whether Tchitchikoff be incensed 
with him or not, but the author must on no account quarrel 
with his hero ; there still remains a considerable space over 
which they must travel hand in hand. 

The britchka, with Tchitchikoff, Selifan, and Petrushka was 
still proceeding at a jog-trot, when our hero woke up. 

"Oho! What are you about ? " he said to his coachman. 
" Answer, I'm speaking to you!" 

" What ? " asked Selifan in a leisurely tone. 

" What, indeed ! You goose ! Where are you going ? Come 
now, make haste ! " 

And in fact, Selifan had been driving along for a good while 
■with his eyes half shut, just touching the horses — who also 
were dreaming — with the reins from time to time ; and 
Petrushka's cap had long since fallen off in some unknown spot, 



DEPARTURE OX FRESH ENTERPRISES. 195 

while he himself had fallen backwards until his head struck 
against Tchitchikoff's knees, so that the latter was obliged to 
give him a push. But Selifan now roused himself up, and 
after administering a few lashes to the piebald, and flourishing 
his knout in the air, he ejaculated, in a sing-song tone, " Never 
fear ! " The horses then started up, and drew the light britchka 
along as if it had been merely a tuft of down. Selifan still 
flourished away, and shouted, " Eh, eh, eh ! " as he jerked up 
and down on the box, while the troika flew, now up the ascents 
and then down the declivities of the highway. 

Tchitchikoff smiled as he lightly swung on his leather 
cushions, for he liked to drive rapidh'. And what Russian does 
not love fast driving ? How could it fail to suit the taste of a 
man who is always striving for excitement, who delights to 
roam ? How could his soul help loving this ? Should he not 
love it, this speed which seems so triumphant, so marvellous ? 
It is as though an unknown power had taken you upon its 
wings ; that you were flying on and on while everything else 
was flying back. The verst-stones fly back ; the merchants, on 
the boxes of their britchkas, fly to meet you ; the forest flies ofi" 
on both sides of the road, with its dark bands of pines and firs, 
and with the blows of axes and the cawing of crows resounding 
in its depths ; the whole road flits away into the dim distance. 
And there is something terrible bound up with this swift flashing, 
amid which one can only distinguish the sky overhead, flecked 
with light clouds ; and where the moon, as it pierces them, 
seems to be the only thing which is immovable. 

Ah, the troika — the bird-troika ! Who invented thee ? Of 
course, thou couldst only have had thy birth among a dashing 
race — in that land which has extended smoothly, glidingly, over 
half the earth, and where one may count the verst-pillars until 
one's eyes swim. Thou art not a complicated vehicle, friend 
troika. Thou art not put together with iron spikes ; a clever 
moujik of Yaroslavl, with axe and chisel only, has made thee with 
despatch. Thy driver wears no German cavalry-boots : he has 
a beard and mittens, they are all he needs. The deuce only 
knows what he sits upon; but see, he has risen, and he waves 
his arms and strikes up a song. The horses dash on like a 
whirlw^ind ; the spokes of the wheels have become merged into 
one smooth circle; the road quakes, and the foot-traveller halts 
and cries aloud in alarm — while yet the troika flies on, on, on ! 
And, behold, it is already visible afar, raising a cloud of dust, 
and piercing the air, till at last it vanishes from view. 

Ip it not thus, like the bold troika which cannot be overtaken, 
that thou art dashing along, Russia, my country ? Tbe v^nA^ 



196 DEAD SOULS. 

smoke beneath thee, the bridges thunder ; all is left, all will be 
left, behind thee. The spectator stops short astounded, as at a 
marvel of God. Is this the lightning which has descended 
from heaven ? he asks. What does this awe-inspiring move- 
ment betoken ? and what uncanny power is possessed by these 
horses, so strange to the world ? Ah ! horses, horses, Eussiau 
horses ! what horses you are ! Doth the whirlwind sit upon 
your manes ? Doth your sensitive ear prick with every tingle 
in your veins ? But lo ! you have heard a familiar song from 
on high ; simultaneously, in friendly wise you have bent your 
brazen breasts to the task ; and, hardly letting your hoofs 
touch the earth, you advance in one tightly- stretched line, 
flying through the air. Yes, on the troika flies, inspired by 
God ! Eussia, whither art thou dashing ? Eeply ! But she 
replies not ; the horses' bells break into a wondrous sound ; the 
shattered air becomes a tempest, and the thunder growls; 
Eussia flies past everything else upon earth ; and other peoples, 
kingdoms, and empires gaze askance as they stand aside to 
make way for her ! 



CHAPTER XII. 

TENTYOTNIKOFF ; OR, THE SOEEOWS OF LOVE. 

Why, it may be asked, why depict misery upon misery, and the 
imperfection of our lives, by unearthing people from the Avil- 
derness, from the remote nooks and corners of our empire ? But 
what is to be done if the character of the author is such that, 
conscious of his own imperfection, he is unable to depict any- 
thing except miseryupon misery, and the imperfections of our life, 
unearthing people from the wilderness, from remote nooks and 
corners of the empire ? And here we have again arrived in the 
wilds, again we have hit upon a distant nook. But, on the 
whole, what a nook, what wilds ! 

Like the gigantic escarpment of some interminable fortress, 
with angles and batteries, the mountainous elevation extends 
for more than a thousand versts. Grandly does it pursue its 
course across the boundless expanse of the plain, now breaking 
off" in the shape of a perpendicular wall, of a clayey or limestone 
formation, hollowed out into gullies and watercourses, and 
rounding over in a swelling which pleases the eye, covered, as 



TEJCTYOTNIKOFF : OR, THE SORROWS OF LOVE. 197 

with a lambskin coat, with young bushes, which have sprouted 
forth amid the trees which had been felled ; and, last of all, with 
dark clumps of forest, which have escaped the axe by some 
miracle. The river, now faithful to its bed, displays sharp angles 
and round curves, and now stretches to a distance into the mea- 
dows, where, after several windings, it glitters like fire beneath 
the sun. Then it hides itself in a grove of beeches, ash-trees, 
and alders, and thence emerges in triumph in company with 
bridges, mills, and dams, which seem to pursue it at every 
step. 

Here had met examples of the whole vegetable kingdom. The 
oak, the fir, the wild-pear, the maple, the cherry, the thorn or 
nettle-tree, with wild wreathing ivy and hops, climbed all over 
the mountain side from summit to base, now aiding now stifling 
each other in their growth. And aloft, mingled with their ver- 
dant crests, appeared the red roofs of a manorial building, the 
peaks and frets of the peasants' cabins being concealed in the 
rear, behind the carved balcony and large half-rounded windows 
of the mansion. And over all these roofs and trees the ancient 
church reared its five glittering golden crests. Oh all its cupolas 
there were open-work gilt crosses, and, at a distance, it seemed 
as though the gold, sparkling like burning ducats, hung sus- 
pended in the air without support. And all this — roofs, tree- 
tops, and crosses — was charmingly reflected, but in a reversed 
position, in the river, where the hollow, deformed willows, stand- 
ing, some in the water and others on the margin, with their 
branches and their leaves drooping thence, all enveloped in the 
green slime which floated on the stream with the yellow water- 
lilies, appeared to be gazing upon their wondrous reflection. 

Who was the owner of this picturesque village, approached 
from a long avenue of oaks, which received the visitor cour- 
teously, stretching out their drooping boughs as though for a 
friendly embrace, and accompanying him to the very front of 
the house, of which we have already seen the upper storey from 
afar, and which now stands face to lace with one, having on one 
side a row of peasants' cabins displaying peaks and carved 
gables, and on the other hand a church glittering with golden 
crosses ? To what fortunate individual did this labyrinth be- 
long? 

To a landowner of the Tremalakhansky district, Andrei Ivano- 
vitch Tentyotnikofl* by name, a lucky young fellow of thirty, 
who was still unmarried. 

Who was he ? what was iie ? what qualities, what capacities, 
did ne possess ? We must inquire of his neighbours — of his 
neighbours, dear readers. One neighbour expressed his opinion 



198 DEAD SOtJLS. 

of him by the laconic phrase, " A perfect beast ! *' A general, 
who lived at a distance of ten versts oflf, said, "He is by no 
means a stupid young man, but he has got a great many queer 
notions into his head. I might be of service to him, for I am 

not without influence in St. Petersburg, and even with " 

However, the general did not finish his speech. As for the 
captain-ispravnik, he gave this answer: "There's something 
low about him — he's a worthless fellow ; and I must go after 
him to-morrow for his arrears ! " The moujiks of the village, 
when questioned as to what sort of a man their master was, 
made no reply at all. So, of course, their opinion of him was 
unfavourable. 

But, to speak dispassionately, he was not a bad fellow : he 
simply encumbered the earth. Since there are a great many 
people in the wide world who are utterly useless, why should 
not Tentyotnikoff be one of them too ?,' 

As a rule he awoke very late in the morning ; and on rising, he 
sat for a long time in his bed, rubbing his eyes. And, although 
his eyes were unfortunately small, this operation lasted a re- 
markably long time. In the meanwhile his man, Mikhailo, stood 
at the door, with a hand-basin and a towel. This poor Mik- 
hailo stood an hour there, then another hour ; then he went to 
the kitchen and came back again, but his master was still rub- 
bing his eyes and sitting up in bed. Finally he rose from his 
bed, washed himself, put on his dressing-gown, and came out 
into the drawing-room to drink some tea, coffee, cocoa, and even 
some boiled milk, sipping a little of all of them, mercilessly 
crumbling his bread, and heedlessly scattering the ashes from 
his pipe all over- the place. He sat for two hours over his tea, 
and that was not all : he took a cold cupful of it, and walked to 
the window which overlooked the court-yard ; and at the win- 
dow the following scene took place every day : — 

First of all, Grigoriy, a house-serf, who acted as butler, 
roared at Perfilievna, the housekeeper, in some such terms as 
these: "You clumsy, big, rebellious darling! you worthless 
hussy ! You might, at least, hold your noise, you disgusting 
woman ! " 

" And don't you want that ? " shrieked the worthless woman, 
making an insulting sign with her hand. Perfilievna was a 
coarse woman in her actions, despite of the fact that she was 
fond of raisins, fruit-tarts, and all sorts of sweets, which she kept 
under lock and key. 

" You have entered into a compact with the steward, you 
storehouse good-for-nothing ! " shouted Grigoriy. 



TENTYOTNIKOFF ; OR, THE SORROWS OF LOVE. 199 

" Yes, and the steward is just such another thief as you are. 
Do you think that the master doesn't know you ? Why, he's 
there, he is listening," 

" Where's the master '? " 

" There he is, sitting by the window ; he sees everything." 

And the master really was sitting at the window, and he saw 
everything. 

To complete the uproar, a child belonging to a house-serf 
which had received a hearty slap from its mother, screamed at 
the top of its voice ; then a greyhound howled on account of the 
hot water with which the cook had splashed it as she chased 
it from the kitchen. In short, everything was screaming and 
wailing intolerably. The master saw and heard it all. And it 
was only when it became so unendurable that it prevented his 
doing anything whatever that he sent out word to say that 
they must make less noise. 

Two hours before dinner he retired to his study to engage In 
a serious literary composition, which was designed to embrace 
all Russia, from all points of view — the political, social, re- 
ligious, and philosophical — he meant to solve all the difficult 
questions attaching to her history, ^d to clearly define her 
great future ; everything in short was to be done in that form 
and fashion in which the man of the day delights. This 
colossal undertaking was limited, however, to thought: our 
writer nibbled his pen, sundry drawings made their appearance 
upon his paper, and then everything was thrown aside and a book 
was taken in hand, and not dropped again until dinner-time. 
This book was perused with the soup, the roast, the salad, and 
even with the pastry, so that some dishes grew cold and some 
were even removed untasted. After this came a pipe and some 
coftee, and a game of chess with himself. What he did after- 
wards until supper-time it would be hard to say. It appeared 
that he simply did nothing whatever. 

And thus did one utterly solitary young man of thirty pass 
his time, constantly sitting about in his dressing-gown, without 
any neckcloth. He did not walk out, he did not even care to 
go upstairs to look at the view ; he did not care to open the 
■windows to admit fresh air into the room ; and it was as though 
the sight of the beautiful village, which no visitor could help ad- 
miring, did not exist for its owner. From this the reader will 
see that Andrei Ivanovitch Tentyotnikoff belonged to that class 
of people who are not extinct in Russia, and who were 
formerly called sluggards and lazybones, and who are now 
called I know not what. Are such characteristics born with a 




DEAD SOULS. 

man, or aw they developed later in life, begotten by the 
gloomy circumstances with which the man is hemmed in ? In 
reply to this question it will be better to relate the history of 
this young fellow's childhood and training. 

It seemed as though everything had conspired to make some- 
thing odd out of him. As a sharp-witted lad of twelve, of a 
thoughtful mood and somewhat sickly constitution, he entered 
a school managed at that time by a very remarkable man. The 
idol of youth, the wonderful teacher, the incomparable Alexan- 
der Petrovitch, was endowed with the gift of divining a man's 
nature. How he did understand the character of the Eussian 
man ! How he understood children ! How well he knew how 
to move them ! There was not a mischief-maker who did not 
come to him, after playing a prank, and confess it of his own 
accord. But this was not all ; the player of pranks did not 
leave the master's presence with drooping head, but held it well 
in the air, with a hearty desire to atone for his fault. There 
was something encouraging in Alexander Petrovitch's very re- 
proof, something which said, " Forward ! Else as quickly as 
possible to your feet, without heeding your fall ! " He called 
ambition the force which stimulates a man onward, and he en- 
deavoured to arouse it. With him there was no question of 
good behaviour. He generally said, " I require brains and 
nothing else. He who directs his attention to acquiring know- 
ledge will have no time for pranks, mischief will disappear of 
itself." 

This schoolmaster did not have many pupils, and he mostly 
taught in person. He understood how to give the very 
marrow of the subject, without pedantic accessories or pom- 
pous views or speculations, and so that it seemed plain to 
the youngest that the knowledge was necessary to them. Only 
those branches of learning were chosen by him which were 
adapted to make a man a good citizen. The greater part of 
the lessons consisted in stories about what awaited a young man 
in the future, and he understood so well how to sketch out a 
career, that the youth lived mind and soul in the service while 
still on his school form. The master, hiding nothing, set before 
the boy in all their nakedness the bitterness and the hindrances 
which arise in a man's path, and all the trials and temptations 
which await him. He knew everything, just as though he 
himself had passed through every rank and calling. 

Whether it was from this cause that ambition was so 
strongly aroused in his pupils, or because there was something 
in the very eyes of this extraordinary teacher, which said to the 



TENTYOTNIKOFF ; OB, THE SORROWS OF LOVE. 201 

youth, " Forward ! " — that word so well known to the Russian, 
and which works wonders on his sensitive organization — at all 
events, the youths from the very outset sought out difficulties 
and longed to he in action, contending with the greatest hard- 
ships under circumstances in which it was necessary to display 
the utmost firmness of soul. Few graduated after this course 
of study, but those few proved men of might. They remained 
firm in the most insecure places ; while many who were much 
more clever than they were, could not endure their position, 
but abandoned everything on account of petty personal vexa- 
tions ; or else having become dull and lazy, they found them- 
selves in the hands of bribe-takers and rogues. But the others 
wavered not ; and knowing both life and men, and possessing 
true wisdom, they exercised a powerful influence on the evil- 
disposed. 

How this wonderful teacher startled Andrei Ivanovitch in his 
boyhood ! The fiery heart of the ambitious lad for a long time 
leaped at the very thought of entering upon the higher course of 
study ; and indeed, when sixteen years old,Tentyotnikofl', having 
distanced all the lads of his own age, was counted worthy of 
being transferred to the highest class as one of the best, though 
he did not believe it himself. What to all appearances could be 
better for our Tentyotnikoft" than such an instructor ? But fate 
would have it so, that at the very time when the lad was trans- 
ferred to this class of the elect- — a thing which he had so 
ardently desired — the remarkable teacher, whose words of en- 
couragement alone threw him into a sweet confusion, fell ill, 
and died shortly afterwards. Oh, what a blow was this for the 
young fellow ! How terrible was this his first loss. It 
seemed to him as though everything in the academy were 
altered. 

In the place of Alexander Petrovitch there then came a 
certain Feodor Ivanovitch, a good painstaking man, but one 
who held very ditierent views of things. In the easy uncon- 
straint of the boys of the first class he thought that he detected 
intractability. He began by instituting among them certain 
outward forms of order ; for instance he required the young 
fellows to preserve unbroken silence, under no circumstances 
were they to walk out except in pairs; and he even began to 
measure the distance from couple to couple with his arshiu- 
-tick. At table he arranged them according to size for appear- 
ance' sake, and not according to capacity ; so that the stupid 
boys got the best bits and the clever boys the remnants. All 
this provoked grumbling, especially when the new master, in 



202 DEAD SOULS. 

direct opposition to the practices of his predecessor, announced 
that brains and fine progress signified nothing to him ; that he 
only looked at conduct ; that if a boy studied badly but behaved 
well, he should show him a preference over the clever but 
playful boy. However, Feodor Ivanovitch did not attain his 
object. Playfulness being objected to, secret pranks .began. 
Everything went like clockwork in the daytime, but at night 
there was rioting. 

Our young friend Andrei Ivanovitch was of a quiet disposi- 
tion. He could not be led astray by the nightly orgies of his 
schoolmates, who played their pranks in full view of the 
windows of the principal's quarters, nor by their mockery of 
holy things, which arose because the pope did not chance to be 
a clever man. No, even in his dreams his mind recognised its 
heavenly origin. Still he hung his head : his ambition was 
aroused, but there was no career of active occupation open to 
him. It would have been better perhaps had this ambition not 
been aroused at all. He listened to the enthusiastic professors 
at their lectures, and recalled his former instructor, who had 
known how to talk in intelligible terms without becoming 
excited. What courses did he not attend ! What subjects did he 
not hear treated ! Medicine and chemistry, philosophy, law, 
and the universal history of mankind, all on such a vast scale, 
that in three years the professors merely succeeded in reading 
the introduction. However, all this lingered in Andrei's brain 
in formless masses. Thanks to his native common-sense, he 
was conscious that he ought not to be taught in that manner ; 
but the proper way he did not know. And he often recalled 
Alexander Petrovitch, and grew so sad at times that he did not 
know what to do with himself for grief. 

But youth is happy in this, that it has a future. In propor- 
tion as the time of his departure from school drew nigh, his 
heart began to beat more violently. He said to himself, " Surely, 
this is not life ; this is only the preparation for life : real life 
lies on the surface ; that is the place for action." And without 
even glancing at the marvellously beautiful little nook which 
made such an impression on every visitor, without even paying 
obeisance to the dust of his parents, he betook himself, after the 
custom of all ambitious men, to Petersburg, where, as it is well 
known, all our spirited young fellows hasten, from every quarter 
of Russia, to enter the service, to shine or to work, or simply to 
skim the surface of colourless, deceptive society, which is as 
cold as ice. 

Andrei Ivanovitch's ambitious aspirations were promptly 



tEJftYOTNIKOFF ; OR, THE SORROWS OF I.OVE. 203 

quelled, however, at the very outset by his uncle, Ouufriy Ivauo- 
vitch, an actual councillor of state. The latter declared that 
the chief point in a man was a good handwriting ; that, with- 
out this, no one could obtain admission to a ministry or 
to any imperial office. At last, however, with great difficulty, 
and with the assistance of his uncle's influence, Tentyotnikoff 
secured an appointment in some department or other. When 
he was conducted for the first time into the light and magnifi- 
cent hall, with its inlaid floor and varnished writing-desks, which 
looked as though the greatest grandees of the empire sat at 
them, and dealt with the fate of the whole country ; when he 
beheld the legions of handsome gentlemen who were writing 
there, noisily moving their pens, and inclining their heads on 
one side ; and when they placed him at a table, and at once 
gave him a document — intentionally of little importance — to 
copy (it was a correspondence about three roubles, which had 
been going on for half a year), an extraordinarily odd sensa- 
tion took possession of him. 

It seemed to him as though he were in some primary school, 
and had to go through his education all over again. It was as 
though he had been degraded from the upper to the lower class 
for some prank or other ; the gentlemen who were seated around 
him were very much like scholars. His former occupations 
then seemed better to him than those of the present moment, 
and his preparation for the service superior to the service itself. 
He began to regret his school-life. And all at once the defunct 
Alexander Petrovitch stood so vividly before him that he came 
near bursting into tears. The room spun round, the officials 
and the tables became all mixed up together, and he with diffi- 
culty conquered this momentar)'- obscuration of his faculties. 
" No," he said on recovering himself, "I will set to work, no 
matter how petty the work may seem in the beginning ! " 
Then summoning strength to his heart and spirit, he resolved to 
acquit himself of his duties in imitation of the rest. 

After a short time Tentyotnikoff became used to the service, 
only it did not prove to be his chief aim and object, as he had 
at first supposed that it would be, but something of secondary 
importance. It served as a means of occupying his time, 
causing him to set a higher value on the moments which 
remained to him. His uncle, the actual councillor of state, had 
begun to think that his nephew was going to do him credit, 
when all of a sudden this nephew disappointed him. 

Among Andrei Ivanovitch's friends — and these were numerous 
— there chanced to be two who were what is called " embittered 



204 DEAD SOULS. 

men." They possessed those uneasy and peculiar characters 
which not only manifest displeasure at real injustice, but even 
at whatever seems in their eyes to be unjust. Good men at the 
outset but disorderly in their own conduct, demanding conside- 
ration for themselves, and at the same time most intolerant 
towards others, they acted powerfully on Andrei Ivanovitch by 
means of their fiery language and the manner in which they 
evinced their noble indignation against society. After making 
him irritable, they called his attention to all sorts of trifles to 
which he would not before have thought of paying any heed. 
Then Feodor Feodorovitch Lyenitzuin, the chief of one of the 
departments, suddenly incurred the young fellow's displeasure. 
Andrei began to seek out a multitude of shortcomings in the chief. 
It seemed to him that in conversation with his superiors he 
turned entirely into artificial sugar, and that when he addressed 
himself to a subordinate, into vinegar ; that, after the manner of 
all petty-minded individuals, he took note of those who pre- 
sented themselves with congratulations for him on festive occa- 
sions, and revenged himself on those whose names did not appear 
on his porter's list. 

In consequence of this, Andrei Ivanovitch felt a positive dis- 
gust with him, and at last one day he addressed Feodor Feodoro- 
vitch with so much impertinence that he received an intimation 
from the authorities that he must either apologise or send in his 
resignation. He then sent in his resignation. His uncle, the 
actual councillor of state, came to him in alarm, with entreaties : 
" For Christ's sake, Andrei Ivanovitch, consider ! What are you 
doing ? Abandoning a career so auspiciously begun simply 
because you happened not to like the chief? Reflect! Who 
are you ? What is this to you ? Why, if such things were to 
be noticed, no one would remain in the service. Reconsider 
the matter, mortify your pride, go and explain matters to him ! " 

" That is not the point, uncle," said the nephew. " It isn't 
hard for me to ask his pardon. I am in the wrong : he is the 
chief, and it wasn't proper for me to speak to him in that man- 
ner. But the question is this : I have another duty — three 
hundred souls of peasants, an estate in disorder, and a fool as a 
steward. The empire will suff'er very little loss if another man 
is set to copying documents in the ofiice in my stead, but there 
will be a vast loss if three hundred men do not pay their taxes. 
What do you think about it ? I am a landowner ; if I busy 
myself with improving and caring for those who are intrusted 
to me, and if I present the empire with three hundred upright, 
sober, and industrious subjects, will my service be in any way 



TENTYOTNIKOFF ; OR, THE SORROWS OF LOVE. 205 

inferior to that of any head of department — Lyenitzuin, for 
instance ? " 

The actual councillor of state stood with his mouth wide open 
in amazement. He had not expected such a reply. After 
reflecting for a short time, he began again in this fashion : " But 
still, my friend, how can you bury yourself in the country ? 
What sort of society can there be among the moujiks ? Here, 
at all events, you may encounter a general or a prince in the 
street. You will pass someone there ; well, and there's the 
gaslights, and busy Europe hard by, whereas, in the country, 
cver}'one you meet is either a peasant or a woman. And why 
condemn yourself to barbarity for your whole life ? " 

However, the convincing arguments of the uncle had no eflfect 
upon the nephew. The latter felt weary of the service and of the 
capital. The country had begun to present itself to him in the 
light of a comfortable retreat, calculated to refresh his mind, 
and he might there lead a life of useful activity. He had 
already unearthed the newest books on the subject of village 
economy. 

Within two weeks after this conversation, Tentyotnikoff was 
in the neighbourhood of the scenes amid which his childhood 
had been passed, not far from the very beautiful nook which no 
visitor or tourist was ever able to admire sufficiently. He had 
already quite forgotten certain spots, and he gazed with curiosity 
upon the magnificent views, like a perfect new-comer. And, lo ! 
for some unknown reason, his heart began to beat on a sudden. 
When, in answer to the query, " Whose forest is this? " he was 
told, " Tentyotnikoff 's ; " when, emerging from the forest, the 
road ran through meadows, past groves of quivering aspens, old 
willows, and young vines, in sight of the heights which stretched 
afar ; when it flew over the bridges, leaving the river now on 
the right, and now on the left ; and when, in answer to the 
query, "Whose are these fields and water-meadows?" the 
answer came, " Tentyotnikoff 's ; " when the road again ascended 
the heights, and ran on the one hand along a level plateau, past 
crops of wheat, rye, and barley, and on the other past all the 
places through which he had previously journeyed, and which 
presented themselves, all of a sudden, foreshortened by the 
distance ; and when, as the darkness gradually descended, the 
road again stretched beneath the shadow of luxuriant trees, 
scattered over the greensward up to the very entrance of the 
village, and the peasants' cabins made their appearance here 
and there, together with the red-roofed manor-house and its 
dependent buildings, and the gleaming golden cupolas of the 



206 DEAD SOULS. 

church ; when, by his hotly beating heart and without putting 
any question, he became conscious what the place was where 
he had arrived — then it was that the sensations and thoughts 
which had been incessantly accumulating within him burst 
into expression in the following words : — 

" Well, and have not I been a fool hitherto ? Fate destined 
me to be the owner of an earthly paradise, and I bound myself 
into servitude as a scribbler of dead documents ! The idea of 
intrusting this place of mine to a steward — of preferring the 
conduct of affairs at a distance among strangers — of preferring to 
the actual management of my own property, the fantastic paper 
management of provinces situated a thousand versts away, 
where I have never set foot, and in attending to which I can 
only commit a heap of contradictions and absurdities ! " 

But another spectacle was awaiting him. Having heard of the 
impending arrival of their master, the moujiks and women had 
assembled on the verandah ; soroki,"^^ kitchi,f kerchiefs, peasant- 
kirtles, beards, with all the picturesque accessories of a hand- 
some population, surrounded him, while the words, " thou 
our provider ! " rang out, and the old men and women burst 
into involuntary tears as they recalled his grandfather and great- 
grandfather. He also could not refrain from tears, and said to 
himself, "How much love! And why? I had never seen 
them, never troubled myself about them! " Then he made a 
vow to share their labours with them, to attend to their wants, 
in order that their love might not be in vain, and so that he 
might really be their " provider." 

Accordingly, he began to take charge of the management, and 
to make various arrangements. He diminished the compulsory 
service to the lord of the manor, leaving certain days of labour 
due to the master to the time allowed to the peasant. He 
dismissed the fool of an overseer. He began to examine into 
everything himself ; showed himself in the fields, at the 
threshing-floor, near the grain-ricks, at the mills, the landing- 
stages, watching the lading and launching of rafts and flat-boats. 

"There he is; see the brisk-legged fellow!" the peasants 
began to say, while they themselves began to grow indolent, 
and to scratch the backs of their heads. 

But all this did not last long. The moujiks quickly learn the lay 
of the land. In this case they speedily understood that although 
the master was very alert, he had no idea so far as to the 

* Linen head-dresses, stitched with coloured wool or yam, worn by 
peasant-women in the Ural, 
t Also head-dresses. 



TENTYOTNIKOFF ; OK, THE SORllOWS OF LOVE. 207 

proper way of treating them. And although he spoke in a 
scholarly manner, it was not to the purpose. The result was, 
that the master and the peasant not only failed to understand 
each other and act in harmony, but were incapable of singing 
the same notes. 

Tentyotnikoff soon observed that everything on the land 
belonging to himself did not thrive so well as it did on the 
peasants' land. The seed was sown earlier but came up later ; 
and yet to all appearance the men worked well. He even pre- 
sided over the work in person, and ordered a measure of brandy 
to be given to each man who worked assiduousl3\ The peasants' 
rye had eared, their oats had yielded bountifully, their millet 
had developed stalks long before his grain had shown a stem. In a 
word, he began to perceive that the peasants were simply cheat- 
ing him, in spite of all the privileges which he had conferred 
upon them. 

He tried reproof, but merely received some such answer as 
the following : " How is it possible, master, that we should 
not rejoice in our lord's profit '? You yourself graciously 
observed how hard we worked when we were ploughing and 
sowing. You ordered a measure of vodka apiece for us because 
we did so." What reply could be made to that ? 

"But why has it all turned out badly now?" the master 
asked. 

" "WTio knows ? Evidently some worms devoured the seed 
from below. And just remeinber what a summer we have 
had : there's been no rain at all." 

But the master saw that no worms had devoured the peasants' 
crops from below, and that the rain had fallen in a peculiar way : 
it had favoured the peasants, but not one drop of it had watered 
the owner's fields. 

It was still more difficult for him to manage the women. 
They were continually begging olf from their work, and com- 
plaining of the master's impositions. It was strange ! He had 
utterly abolished all tributes of linen, berries, mushrooms, and nuts; 
he had released them from fully half of their other labours, think- 
ing that the women would devote this time to domestic affairs; that 
they would mend and make theii- husbands' clothes, and cultivate 
their vegetable gardens. However, nothing of the sort took place. 

Idleness, quarrelling, gossiping, and all sorts of dissension 
arose among the fair sex, so that the husbands were continu- 
ally coming to him with such words as these : " Master, take 
away that devil of a woman, my wife ! she's a perfect fiend ; 
there's no living with her ! " 



208 DEAD SOULS, 

He hardened his heart, and tried to resort to sternness. But 
how could he be stern ? A woman would come to him in the 
regular feminine fashion, weak and ill and whining, with the 
most horrible and disgusting rags heaped upon her — where she 
had got them, God only knows! "Go away, go home ! take 
yourself out of my sight! God be with you!" said poor 
Tentyotnikoff ; and then he saw the sick woman, as soon as 
she had emerged from his doors, fight with a neighbour over a 
beet-root and belabour the neighbour's sides in a way of which a 
healthy man would have been incapable. 

It occurred to him to try the experiment of establishing a 
school among them, but this resulted in such folly that he hung 
his head in shame : it would have been better if he had not 
thought of it. Finally, in his discouragement his zeal faded 
away. 

He superintended the work in an inattentive manner. If he 
stood near-by while the scythes were rustling softly through the 
grass, or the men were piling the hay in stacks, or loading it on 
waggons, his eyes gazed into the distance ; if the work was pro- 
ceeding afar, they sought objects near at hand, or glanced aside 
at some bend of the river, along the banks of which walked a 
red-billed, red-legged marten. He gazed at it with curiosity, as 
it held a fish, which it had canght crosswise in its bill, as 
though meditating whether it should swallow it or not ; and 
then gazing intently across the river at another marten, gleaming 
white in the distance, he saw that it had not caught a fish, but 
was staring fixedly at the marten who had. Or else deserting 
both the martens and the bend of the river, screwing his eyes 
tight together, and throwing up his head towards the airy 
expanse, he inhaled the perfume of the fields, and listened to the 
voices of the melodious tenants of the air as they united in one 
harmonious chorus. He heard the woodcock piping in the rye, 
the landrail croaking in the grass, the linnets grumbling and 
twittering as they flitted past, the marsh-snipe shrieking as he 
rose in the air, the trills of the lark rolling down an invisible 
ladder of air, and the notes of the stork ringing out like the 
blasts of a trumpet as it outlined a triangle in the sky. The 
whole neighbourhood, full of sound, gave back a delightful echo. 
But even all this began to bore him. He soon ceased to visit 
the fields altogether and sat in his own room, refusing even to 
receive the reports of the steward. 

At first some people from the neighbourhood came to visit 
him — a retired lieutenant of hussars, redolent of tobacco ; a 
student who had not completed his course but who held very 



TENTYOTNIKOFF ; OR, THE SORROWS OF LOVE. 209 

decided opinions, and had gathered his ■wisdom from current 
pamphlets and newspapers. However, these visitors also began 
to bore Andrei. Their conversation seemed to him somewhat 
superficial : their European style and their familiarities were 
quite too frank and straightforward for his taste. He decided 
to cut short his acquaintance with everyone, and he eflFected 
this in a rather abrupt manner. 

One day, when a retired colonel, a most agreeable super- 
ficial converser on all sorts of topics, called with the herald of 
the new order of thought, the student Varvar Nikolaitch Vish- 
nepokromofi", in order to indulge in a long talk on politics, 
philosophy, literature, morals, and even the state of English 
finances — he sent word to say that he was not at home, and, 
at the same time, was so indiscreet as to show himself at the 
window. His eyes met those of one of his visitors. One, of 
course, muttered between his teeth, " The beast ! " The other, 
in his vexation, sent some word like " pig " after the first. 
The acquaintanceship ended there. From that time forth, no 
one called at Tentyotnikofi"s house. 

He was glad of it, and devoted himself to planning a great 
work on Russia. The reader already knows in what manner he 
pursued this task. Still, now and then, there was a minute 
when he was thoroughly aroused from sleep. When the post 
brought him the newspapers and reviews, and he saw in print 
the familiar name of some former comrade, who had already 
succeeded in winning a conspicuous position in the imperial 
service, or had contributed something important to science or 
to universal progress, a secret and quiet sorrow penetrated his 
heart, and a pained, speechlessly sad, gentle complaint at his 
own inaction involuntarily burst forth. Then his life appeared 
to him to be hateful and repulsive. Then the vanished years of 
his life at school rose up before him with extraordinary vivid- 
ness, and Alexander Petrovitch suddenly stood before him as 
though he were alive. Finally the tears poured from his eyes 
in streams. 

What did these tears signify ? Did his pining soul reveal in 
them the depressing secret of its disease — that the exalted inner 
man which had begun to take form within him had not suc- 
ceeded in filling to its outlines, and fixing itself firmly ? That, 
inexperienced from his very youth, he had not attained to that 
lofty state of mind to which he had hoped to rise and grow 
strong on obstacles and limitations ? That his remarkable teacher 
had died too soon, and that there was no one now in all the 
world who could arouse the powers kept down by perpetual 

o 



210 DEAD SOULS. 

indecision, who could say to him in a voice of encouragenaent 
that word, "Forward!" which the Kussian thirsts for every- 
where, no matter what class of society, trade, or calling he may 
belong to ? 

Who is he who has understood how to say to us, in our 
native tongue, that all-powerful \^oy^, forward ? Who, knowing 
all the powers and qualities and all the depths of our natures, 
could, with one enchanting gesture of the hand, have directed 
us to higher life ? With what tears, with what love, would the 
grateful Eussian have requited him ! But century after century 
has passed by in shameful indolence, Russia remains the same, 
in immature youth, God vouchsafing no man who knows how 
to pronounce that all-powerful word ! 

One circumstance came near rousing Tentyotnikoff, and nearly 
brought about some change in his character. Something in the 
nature of a love-affair took place. In the neighbourhood, at 
about ten versts from Tentyotnikoff 's village, there dwelt a 
general, who lived as a general should — exercised hospitality, 
was fond of having his neighbours come to pay him their 
respects, talked in a hoarse voice, read books, and had a 
daughter — a being such as had never been seen before. It 
sometimes is vouchsafed to a man to behold something of the 
sort in his dreams ; and from that time forth, throughout his 
life, he reflects upon that vision ; reality has for ever disap- 
peared for him, and he is absolutely good for nothing. 

Her name was Ulinka. She had been rather strangely brought 
up. An Englishwoman, who did not know a word of Russian, 
had educated her. She had lost her mother in infancy, and 
her father had no time to attend to her. Moreover, as he loved 
her to ma,dness, he might have merely spoiled her. She was 
self-willed in everything, like a child which has grown up in 
freedom. If anyone had seen how a sudden outburst of wrath 
brought a collection of deep wrinkles to her lovely brow, and 
how warmly she disputed with her father, he would have thought 
that she was a very capricious creature. But her wrath only 
flashed up when she heard of some injustice, or of some 
ill-treatment. She never disputed on her own account, and 
she never defended herself ; and her anger disappeared on the 
instant if she saw the person against whom it was directed in 
trouble. At the first request for alms, no matter from whom it 
proceeded, she gave all that she had, before she even had time 
to reflect on the impropriety of flinging away her purse with 
everything which it contained. 

There was something impetuous about her. When she spoke, 



TENTYOTNIKOFF ; OR, THE SORROWS OF LOVE. 211 

it seemed as though everythmg followed her thoughts : the 
expression of her countenance, the tone of her voice, the move- 
ments of her hands, the very folds of her garments, all seemed 
to incline in the same direction, and it was as though she were 
on the point of flying after her own words. There was no 
reserve about her. She never feared to reveal her thoughts to 
anyone, and no power on earth could reduce her to silence when 
she wished to speak. Moreover, her peculiar and bewitching 
walk was so free and unconstrained that anyone would involun- 
tarily make way for her. In her presence a wicked man grew 
confused and silent ; the most audacious and unrestrained in 
his language found not a word to say to her, but lost his wits : 
though the shy man was able to converse with her as he had 
never done with anyone else in all his life, and felt from the 
first moment of the conversation as if he had known her 
somewhere before, and had already beheld her features ; it 
seemed to him that this had happened in the depths of his boy- 
hood, in some familiar house, on a merry evening, amid the 
joyous games of a throng of children ; and for a long time after- 
wards the man's age of discretion seemed wearisome to him. 

The very same thing happened in the case of Tentyotnikoff. 
It seemed to him, from the first day of their acquaintance, that 
he had alwaj-s known her. A new, inexplicable sensation pene- 
trated his soul; for an instant a gleam of light illumined his 
wearisome life. At first the general received the young fellow 
well and gladly, but they could not get on together. Their 
conversations ended in disputes, and left a certain unpleasant 
feeling on both sides : for the general was not fond of contra- 
diction or retorts ; and Tentyotnikofl', on his side, was quick to 
take ofience. Of course he forgave the father a great deal for 
the daughter's sake ; and peace was preserved between them, 
until some relatives came to visit the general — Countess Bodui- 
reva and Princess Yuzyakina, who had been maids of honour at 
court during the preceding reign, and who now kept up some 
connections with Petersburg, in consequence of which the 
general paid them great deference. From the very day of their 
arrival, it seemed to Tentyotnikoff" that he was treated more 
coldly — that he was overlooked, or regarded as a person of no 
importance : he was addressed in a somewhat unduly familiar 
fashion as " My dearest fellow ! " " Listen, my friend ! " and 
indeed once the general even said " thou " to him. 

This last enraged him. Nevertheless, hardening his heart 
and setting his teeth, he had the presence of mind to say, in an 
unusually soft and courteous tone, while a spot of crimson made 



212 DEAD SOULS. 

its appearance on his face, and everything within him was boil- 
ing, " I am obliged to you for your kindly sentiments, general. 
By employing the word thou, you display an amount of friend- 
ship which almost induces me to address you as thou also. But 
the difference in our ages precludes such familiarity between us." 

The general was thrown into confusion. Collecting his words 
and ideas, he began to say, though in rather an incoherent 
manner, that the word thou had not been uttered by him in that 
sense ; that it was permissible for an old man to say thuu to a 
young one, and so on. It may be noted that he did not utter 
a syllable about his rank. 

Of course, their acquaintance ceased from that moment, and 
the love affair came to an end at its very outset. The light 
which had shone for an instant before Tentyotnikoff was extin- 
guished, and the shadows which followed upon it seemed all the 
blacker. His life, indeed, became what the reader has seen at 
the beginning of this chapter — it was all converted into lying in 
bed and inactivity. Dirt and disorder took possession of his 
house. The broom stood for half a day in the middle of the 
floor, in company with the dirt. His old trousers even strayed 
into the drawing-room. On the elegant little table which stood 
in front of the divan there lay a pair of braces, just as though they 
had been refreshment for a visitor. Our young friend's existence 
had become trivial and slothful to such a degree that not only 
did his servants cease to respect him, but the very cocks and 
hens pecked at him. 

Upon taking his pen in hand, he would pass hours in sketching 
crooked trees, little houses, peasants' huts, telyegas, and troikas, 
in a vacant-minded way. However, sometimes, when he had for- 
gotten everything, the pen, of its own will and without its master's 
knowledge, drew a little head with delicate features, with an 
alert, penetrating glance, and a lock of hair turned back ; and the 
master then, to his amazement, saw that this was the portrait of 
one whose portrait no artist even could have sketched. And 
then he became still more melancholy ; and, believing that there 
is no such thing as happiness upon earth, he grew more bored 
and silent than before. 

Such was the condition of Andrei Ivanovitch Tentyotnikoff's 
soul. All at once, while he was one day Avalking to the window, 
pipe and cup in hand, after the usual order of things, he was 
stupefied not to hear either Grigoriy or Perfilievna, but he did 
perceive a bustle and some hurrying to and fro in the yard. 
The scullion and the floor-washer were hastening to open the 
gates, at which, indeed, some horses were visible, exactly 



TENTYOTNIKOFF ; OR, THE SORROWS OF LOVE. 213 

like the horses which are carved or drawn on triumphal arches 
— a muzzle to the right, a muzzle to the left, and a muzzle in 
the middle. Above them, on the box, sat a coachman^ and a 
footman in voluminous surtouts. Behind them sat a gentleman 
in a leather-peaked cap and a cloak, with a scarf of rainbow hues 
around his neck. AVhen the equipage drew up before the porch 
with a sweep, it became apparent that it was nothing less than 
a light britchka on springs. The gentleman, who possessed an 
extremely pleasing exterior, sprang out of it, with almost the 
alertness and agility of a military man. 

Andrei Ivanovitch was struck with terror. He took the visi- 
tor for an otficial from the courts of justice. It must be stated 
that, in his youth, he had become entangled in a piece of folly. 
Two philosophers belonging to the hussars, who instead of com- 
pleting their course in aesthetics, had ruined themselves as 
gamblers, had got up some philanthropical cociety or other, 
under the chief superintendence of an old mason, a rascal who 
was also a gambler, but at the same time a very eloquent man. 
This society Avas organised with extensive views — to procure 
lasting happiness for everyone, from the banks of the Thames 
to Kamtchatka. A vast amount of money was required, and con- 
tributions were collected among the generous members. Where 
all this money went to, no one knew, excepting the manager-in- 
chief. He had inveigled into the company two friends, embit- 
tered men who had originally been decent fellows, but who had 
been transformed into regular drunkards by dint of drinking 
toasts in the honour of science, culture, and the coming respon- 
sibilities of maukind. Tentyotnikoff soon recovered his senses 
and freed himself from this circle. But the society had already 
succeeded in entangling him in some operations of a character 
not exactl)^ suited to a nobleman, so that an aflair with the police 
ensued. Thus, it is not surprising that, although he had left the 
capital, and broken off all connection with the society, he did 
not feel quite at ease. His conscience was not quite clear, and 
indeed it was with some alarm that he now gazed at the door 
as it opened. 

However, his terror vanished at once when his visitor, after 
bowing with incredible skill, somewhat on one side, but keeping 
his head in a respectful position, explained, in soft but decisive 
words, that he had recently been traversing Russia, impelled by 
both business and curiosity ; that the empire abounded in 
noteworthy objects, not to mention the abundance of trades and 
the variety of soils to be found ; that he had been attracted by 
the picturesque situation of the village, but that he should not 



214 DEAD SOULS. 

have ventured to intrude, if, in consequence of tlie spring floods 
and the bad roads, his equipage had not sustained an unexpected 
fracture, which required the intervention of a blacksmith and 
some artisans. However, he added that, even if no accident 
had happened to his britchka, he could not have denied himself 
the pleasure of personally presenting his respects. 

On finishing this speech, the guest, with bewitching suavity, 
gave a scrape of his foot, which was shod in an elegant varnished 
shoe, fastened with mother-of-pearl buttons, and, notwithstand- 
ing his corpulence, he sprang backwards with the lightness of an 
india-rubber ball. 

Andrei Ivanovitch felt re-assured, and concluded that this 
must be some inquisitive professor, who was travelling through 
Russia for the purpose of collecting some plants or other, or 
possibly fossils. He immediately expressed his readiness to 
render every assistance in his power ; he offered the services of 
his artisans, his wheelwrights and blacksmiths ; he requested 
the stranger to dispose of everything as though he were in his 
own house ; he even seated him in his own large reclining- 
chair, and then prepared to listen to his remarks upon the natural 
sciences. 

But the guest touched rather upon philosophical matters. He 
likened his life to a vessel in the midst of the sea, driven hither 
and thither by treacherous winds ; he mentioned that he had 
been obhged to make numerous changes in his place of residence 
and his occupation ; that he had suffered much for the truth's 
sake ; that his life had even been more than once in danger from 
his enemies ; and he related many things of a sort which showed 
him to be a practical man. At the conclusion of his speech, he 
blew his nose in a white cambric handkerchief, with such vio- 
lence that it gave a report the like of which Andrei Ivanovitch had 
never heard before. There is at times in an orchestra a horn which 
seems to blare in your ear, instead of in the orchestra. Exactly 
such a sound echoed through the startled apartments of the 
slumbering house ; and immediately after it came the smell of 
eav -de-Cologne, which was invisibly disseminated by a skilful 
flourish of the cambric pocket-handkerchief 

The reader has probably already divined that the visitor was 
none other than our respected and long-neglected Pavel Ivano- 
vitch Tchitchikoff. He had grown a little older evidently ; 
time had not passed by without tempests and anxieties. It 
seemed as though the very swallow-tailed coat on his back had 
grown antique, and the britchka, and the coachman and the 
valet, the horses and the harness, had all become worn and 



TENTYOTNIKOFF ; OR, THE SORROWS OF LOVE, 215 

threadbare. From this it appeared that his finances were not 
in an enviable condition. However, the expression of his face, 
his courtesy, and his manners remained the same. He had be- 
come even more agreeable in his movements and conduct, 
and he twisted one leg under the other in a more skilful 
fashion than ever when he seated himself in his arm-chair. 
There was more suavity in his turns of speech, more caution 
and moderation in his words and expressions, more dexterity in 
his bearing, more tact about him in every way. His collar and 
shu't-bosom wei'e cleaner and whiter than snow, and despite 
the fact that he was on a journey, there was not even a speck 
of dust upon his coat — it was exactly as though he had just come 
from a birthday dinner. His cheeks and chin were so beauti- 
fully shaven that even a blind man might have admired their 
agreeably rounded contours. 

A tran'sformation at once took place in the house. That 
half of it which had hitherto remained dark, with the shutters 
closed, suddenly blossomed out and received light. Every- 
thing began to move about in the newly illuminated rooms, and 
matters soon assumed a different aspect. All the ai'ticles indis- 
pensable for a toilet for the night were placed in the chamber 
which, was assigned to the visitor as a bedroom. As for the 
apartment which was intended for his study, there were here 
three tables : one, a writing-table, stood before the sofa ; the 
second, a card-table, was placed between the two windows and 
in front of the mirror ; the third, a corner-table, stood in the 
angle between the door leading to the bedroom and the door 
opening into an unoccupied hall, filled with decrepit furniture, 
and now used as an ante-room, in which no one had set foot 
for a year previously. On this corner-table some clothes which 
had been taken out of our hero's trunk were placed, namely, 
a coat, beneath it a pair of trousers, a second pair ditto quite 
new, and grey in colour, also two velvet and two satin 
waistcoats, and a surtout. All these things were arranged one 
on the top of the other in pyramid fashion, and were covered 
over with a silk handkerchief. In the other corner between the 
door and the window was ranged a row of boots : some were 
not quite new, others were entirely new ; there were patent- 
leather boots, low shoes, and chamber slippers. They also 
were modestly veiled with a silk handkerchief, so that it was 
just the same as if they were not there. 

On the writing-table were speedily arranged with great 
regularity a dressing-case, a bottle of eau-de-CoJoijne, some 
toothpicks, a calendar, and two novels — the second volume of 



216 DEAD SOULS. 

each only. The clean linen was placed in the chest of drawers 
which stood in the bedroom, and the linen which required 
washing was tied up in a bundle and thrust under the bed ; the 
trunk, when it had been emptied, was also shoved under the bed. 
As for the sword which our hero carried with him on the road in 
order to inspire robbers with salutary fear, that also Avas placed 
in the bedroom, and suspended from a nail not far from the bed. 
Everything assumed an aspect of neatness and order. Nowhere 
was there a scrap of paper, a pen, or a speck of dust. The very 
air seemed to have become ennobled. The odour of a fresh and 
healthy man who does not wear his linen too long, but takes a 
bath and rubs himself down with a damp sponge every Sun- 
day, began to fill the apartment. The odour of the valet Pe- 
trushka attempted for a time to establish itself in the ante-room ; 
however, Petrushka was speedily transferred to the kitchen, as 
was fitting. 

At first Andrei Ivanovitch feared for his independence ; he was 
alarmed lest any visitor should embarrass him with any changes 
in his mode of life, which was so cleverly arranged. But his 
fears were unfounded. Our hero, Pavel Ivanovitch, displayed a 
remarkable capacity for adapting himself to all circumstances. 
He expressed his approval of his host's philosophical and 
methodical disposition, saying that it promised to prolong his 
life for a century. With regard to solitude, he expressed him- 
self very happily to the effect that it promoted grand thoughts 
in a man. Then after glancing into the library and praising 
books in general, he remarked that they rescued a man from idle- 
ness. He let fall but few words, but those few were weighty. 
In his behaviour he displayed even more tact. He made his 
appearance just at the proper time, and he vanished at the 
very moment which was fitting ; he did not worry his host with 
questions during the latter's taciturn moods ; he took pleasure in 
playing at chess with him, and he enjoyed keeping silent. 
While one of them was emitting curling wreaths of smoke fi'om 
his pipe, the other, who did not smoke, devised an occupation 
which corresponded with it : for example, he pulled a snufi'box 
of oxidized silver from his pocket, and grasping it firmly 
between two fingers of his left hand, he twirled it briskly with 
his right fore-finger — so that it looked like the earth whirling 
on its axis — or else he drummed on the cover with his finger, 
and whistled all the while. In short, he did not incommode his 
entertainer in the least. 

"I now behold for the first time a man with whom it is 
possible to live," said Tentyotnikofi" to himself. "On the whole, 



TENTYOTNIKOFF ; OK, THE SORROWS OF LOVE. 217 

this is rare among us. There are plenty of people who are 
learned and cultivated and good, but as for people of a perfectly 
equable temperament, people with whom one could pass one's 
life without quarrelling, I really do not know whether many 
such persons are to be found anywhere. At all events, this is 
the first man of the sort whom I have seen." Thus did Tentyot- 
nikofi" express himself with regard to his visitor. 

Tchitchikofl", on his side, felt very glad that he had quartered 
himself for a time at the house of this quiet and peaceable young 
man. He had grown tired of his gipsy life. Even from a 
sanitary point of view, it would prove advantageous to rest for 
/a month in this lovely village, in sight of the meadows and the 
budding spring. 

It would have been difiicult to find a nook better suited for 
repose. The spring, long retarded, was suddenly bursting forth 
in all its beauty, and life was beginning to display itself in every 
direction. The fresh and early emerald verdure was dotted 
with yellow dandelions, while the purple anemone nodded its 
graceful head. Swarms of gnats and other insects made their 
appearance in the swamps : the water-spider was already 
hastening in pursuit of them, and birds of every species as- 
sembled among the dry reeds. Ducks and all other kinds of 
water-fowl fluttered down upon the flooded lakes and rivers. 
The earth all at once became populous ; the forests awoke from 
their sleep ; the meadows became vocal. How brilliant was the 
verdure ! how fresh the air ! What bird-calls rang through the 
gardens ! what echoes, what cries of joy from everything ! The 
village was full of harmony and song, as though a wedding were 
going on. Walks were taken in every direction, and Tchitchi- 
kofl' himself walked a great deal. 

At one time he du'ected his course to the summit of the hill, 
which aflbrded a view of the spreading valleys below, where 
there still lingered some wide lakes formed by the inundations, 
with islands of still leafless forest lying darkly in their midst ; or 
else he strolled through the wooded ravines, where the thickly 
clustering trees, weighed down with the nests of cawing rooks, 
which obscured the heavens with their fitful flittings, were 
beginning to deck themselves with leaves. Again he betook 
himself over to the wharf, whence the first boats were setting 
out, laden with peas and barley and wheat, while the water 
dashed noisily against the wheel of the mill, which was just 
beginning to work. He went to inspect the first spring hus- 
bandry — he watched the plough turn up black strips of earth 
amid the green ; or saw how the dexterous sower, tapping the 



218 Dead souls. 

sieve which hung from his breast, scattered the seed evenly and 
in the right spot, so that not a grain fell on either one side or 
the other. 

Indeed Tchitchikoff went everywhere. He talked and dis- 
cussed things with the overseer, with the peasants, and with 
the miller. He knew everybody and all about everything, the 
how and the Avhy ; in what fashion the affairs of the estate were 
progressing, and how much the grain sold for, how much of it 
was sent to be ground in the autumn, and how much in the 
spring, together with the names of all the moujiks, and where 
this one had purchased his cow, and what that one fed his pigs 
on — in short, everything. He also learned how many peasants 
had died, and it appeared that they were not numerous. Being 
a man of discernment, he perceived that, so far as his pet scheme 
went, matters would not progress well with Andrei Ivanovitch. 
On the other hand, ignorance, neglect, thieving, and intoxication 
prevailed everywhere. And he said to himself, in his own mind, 
*' What a fool that Tentyotnikoff is ! Such an estate, and to 
neglect it so ! He might have an income of fifty thousand 
roubles a year ! " 

More than once it occurred to him, in the course of his walks, 
that he would some time — that is to say, not now, but later on, 
when his principal business had been settled, and he had 
the means on hand — become the peaceful owner of some 
such estate as this one. Then, naturally, there presented itself 
to his imagination the figure of a rosy, fair-haired young girl, 
from the merchant or some other wealthy social class, and who 
would even understand music. A younger generation, destined 
to perpetuate the name of Tchitchikoff, also presented itself to 
him — a frolicsome little boy and a beautiful daughter, or two 
small urchins and two, or even three, little maidens, so that it 
might be known to all men that he had actually lived and 
existed, and had not merely passed over the earth like a shadow 
or a ghost. 

Then he began to fancy that it would not be a bad idea to 
make some additions to his rank: "councillor of state," for 
instance, is an honourable title, and one deserving of respect. 
How many things enter a man's mind in the course of his walks ! 
They frequently divert him from the wearisome present, mock 
him, torment him, excite his imagination, and remain dear to 
him even when he himself feels convinced that they will never 
be realised ! 

The village also pleased Pavel Ivanovitch's servants. They, 
like himself, had become accustomed to it. Petrushka speedily 



TENTYOTNIKOFF ; OR, THE SOUROWS OF LOVE. 219 

struck up a friendship with the butler, Grigoriy, although at 
first both of them assumed a great deal of dignity, and put on 
some intolerable airs in speaking to each other. Petrushka 
tried to lord it over Grigoriy on the strength of having seen so 
many places ; but GrigOriy promptly quenched him with Peters- 
burg, where Petrushka had never been. The latter then 
attempted to recover his position, and launched into details as to 
the distance of the places which he had visited ; but Grigoriy 
mentioned a place which is not to be found on any map, and 
reckoned up over thirty thousand versts, so that Pavel Ivano- 
vitch's servitor remained dumbfounded, dropped his jaw, and 
was then and there held up to the ridicule of all the domestics. 
The matter ended, however, in a close friendship springing up 
between the valet and the butler. Bald Pimen, a peasant, kept 
a drinking-shop at the end of the village, and here the two 
cronies were to be seen at all hours of the day. They became 
perfectly at home there, or, as the peasants expressed it, 
" fixtures." 

Selifan, on his side, found a difierent sort of attraction. As 
soon as evening came, the village maids sang songs, and wove 
and broke the chain of the spring khorovods.''' The girls, finely 
formed creatures of good race, such as are not now to be found 
in the large villages, kept him playing at "raven" for hours 
together. It was hard to tell which of them was the prettiest : 
they all had white necks, white bosoms, and bright, rolling 
eyes ; they walked like peacocks, and wore plaits of hair hang- 
ing to their waists. When, taking their white hands in both of 
his, he moved sloAvly with them in the choral dance, or left them 
and stationed himself with the other lads in a line opposite 
them, all the gallants stepping forward, in rank to meet the 
maidens, while the latter, laughing loudly, sang, " Lords, show 
the bridegroom!" — then, while the fading light of evening 
vanished, and the shades descended all around, the mournful 
echo of their song ringing back from far beyond the river, he 
himself did not know Avhat was going on within him. Morning 
and evening, sleeping or waking, thereafter, all things danced 
before his eyes, and he seemed to hold white hands in his own, 
and to be ever moving through the choral dance. 

Tchitchikoff"s horses also were content with their new abode. 
The oats were excellent, and the arrangements of the stable 
were remarkably comfortable. From each stall, although it 
was divided ofi", it was possible to see the other horses over the 

* Dances accompanied by songs and games. 



220 DEAD SOULS. 

partitions ; and if any one of them, even the most distant of 
the lot, took a foolish fancy to neigh, it was possible to hear 
him at once. 

In short, they all felt quite at home. As far as the business 
upon which Pavel Ivanovitch was traversing far-reaching Russia 
— the dead souls — was concerned, he had become extremely 
cautious and delicate, even when he had to deal with downright 
fools. And he had to be all the more cautious with Teutyotni- 
koff, for the latter was certainly not a fool ; he read books, and 
philosophised, and tried to explain to himself the cause of every- 
thing. " No ; it will be better to see whether he cannot be ap- 
proached more successfully in another manner," thought Tchit- 
chikoff, who, during his chats with the house-serfs, had found 
out that their master had formerly been in the habit of going 
to see his neighbour, the general, very frequently. He had 
learnt, too, that the general had a daughter ; that their master 
had evidently been made for the young lady, and the young 
lady for their master. However, they had fallen out all of a 
sudden, and had parted. Moreover, our hero himself had ob- 
served that Andrei Ivanovitch was always sketching heads with 
his pen and pencil, and that these heads all resembled one another. 

Once, after dinner, while twirling his silver snuif-box round 
as usual, our hero began as follows : " You have everything in 
the world, Andrei Ivanovitch ; yes, everything save one." 

" What is that ? " inquired the host, emitting a wreath of 
smoke. 

" A companion for your life," said Tchitchikoff. 

But Andrei Ivanovitch said nothing, and there the conversa- 
tion rested. 

Tchitchikoff was not disconcerted, however ; in fact, he chose 
another opportunity, just before supper. While they were dis- 
cussing one thing and another, he suddenly remarked, " Why, 
really, Andrei Ivanovitch, it wouldn't be a bad thing for you if 
you married." 

Not a word did Tentyotnikoft respond to this, exactly as 
though the subject were displeasing to him. 

Still Tchitchikoff was not discouraged. He selected a third 
occasion, after supper, and then spoke thus : " However much I 
turn your circumstances over in my mind, it seems to me quite 
necessary for you to marry : you are falling into hypochondria." 

On this occasion, Tchitchikoff' s words were very decisive, or 
else Tentyotnikoff's frame of mind was favourable to frank- 
ness — at all events, the young fellow sighed, and said, " In 
love, as in everything else, one needs to be born lucky. 



TENTYOTNIKOFF ; OR, THE SORHOWS OF LOVE. 221 

Pavel Ivanovitch." And then he related to him the -whole 
history of his acquaintance with the general, and of the quar- 
rel, just as it had taken place. 

When Tcbitchikofi' had heard the whole story, word by word, 
and learnt that the entire matter had arisen from the word 
thou, he was taken aback. For a moment he looked Tenty- 
otnikoff fixedly in the eyes, and could not decide whether he 
was simply a fool or a thorough lunatic. 

" Pray, Andrei Ivanovitch," he said at length, taking him 
by both hands, " what insult was there in that ? AVhat is there 
offensive about the word thou / " 

" There's nothing offensive about the word itself," answered 
Tentyotnikoff ; " but there may be in its application, in the way 
in which it is uttered ; that's where the insult lies. Thou — 
that signifies, * Recollect that you are a good-for-nothing fel- 
low. I only receive you here because there is no one better 
than you in the neighbourhood ; but now a certain Princess 
Yuzyakina has come, so learn to know 3^our place, and remain 
on the threshold.' That's what it means ! " So saying, the 
ej'es of the gentle and peaceable Andrei Ivanovitch flashed : and 
the irritation of his w^ounded feelings was audible in his voice. 

"But even in that sense, what harm does it do?" asked 
Tchitchikoff. 

" What ! Do you think that I should continue to visit him 
after such misconduct ? " 

" But what misconduct ? That is not misconduct," said 
Tchitchikoff. 

" "WThy is it not misconduct?" inquired Tentyotnikoff in 
amazement. 

" Oh ! it is merely a habit with generals, and not misconduct ; 
they say thou to everybody. And, moreover, why should it 
not be allowable in a worthy man who has served his time 
honourably ?" 

" That's a different thing," said Tentyotnikoff. "If he had 
been an old man, or a poor man, neither proud inor boastful, 
nor a general, I would willingly permit him to address me as 
thou." 

" This fellow's an utter fool ! " said Tchitchikoff to himself. 
" The idea of permitting a thing to a ragamuffin, and not to a 
general ! — Very well," he said aloud, " let us assume that he did 
insult you ; well, you have had your revenge on him : he said 
' thou ' to you, and you said it to him. But to quarrel, to part 
for ever on account of a trifle, that is — you must excuse me — 
absurd. When a man has chosen his goal, he must bid defiance 



222 DEAD SOULS. 

to all obstacles. Why consider the fact that a man spits at you ? 
Man is always spitting : that's the way he is made. And you 
may search the whole world through now for a man who has 
not at some time spat at another man, and you won't find one." 

"A strange man this Tchitchikoff ! " said Tentyotnikoff to 
himself in surprise, quite disconcerted by these words. 

" But what an eccentric fellow this Tentyotnikofl' is ! " Tchi- 
tchikoff Avas thinking at the same moment. " Andrei Ivanovitch, 
I will talk with you like a brother to a brother. You are an in- 
experienced man. Allow me to manage this aifair. I will go to 
his excellency, and explain to him that it happened through a 
misunderstanding on your side — through your youth and lack of 
acquaintance with men and with the world." 

"I have no intention of humbling myself to him," said Tenty- 
otnikoff, taking offence ; " and I cannot authorise you to do so 
on my behalf." 

" I am incapable of acting improperly," retorted Tchitchikoff, 
also offended. " Of other errors I may have been guilty, in 
common with the rest of mankind, but of baseness, never ! Ex- 
cuse me, Andrei Ivanovitch, but I did not expect that you would 
take my words in such an insulting sense." All this was spoken 
with an air of dignity. 

" I am in the wrong ; forgive me," said Tentyotnikoff hastily, 
and with emotion, seizing hold of both his hands. "I did not 
think of wounding you. I swear to you that your kindly 
sympathy is dear to me. But let us drop this discussion. We 
will never mention it again." 

" In that easel shall go to the general." 

" Why ? " asked Tentyotnikoff", looking our hero straight in 
the eyes in his amazement. j 

" To present my respects." / 

" A strange fellow this Tchitchikoff! " thought Tentyotnikoff. 

" A strange fellow this Tentyotnikoff! " thought Tchitchikoff. 

" I shall go to him at about ten o'clock to-morrow morning, 
Andrei Ivanovitch. In my opinion, the sooner one pays one's 
respects to a man the better. As my britchka is not yet in a 
suitable condition, allow me to use your calash. In that way, 
I shall be able to reach his house at about ten o'clock to-morrow 
morning." 

"Certainly; what a request! You are completely master 
here, and the equipage and everything else are entirely at your 
disposal." 

After this conversation they separated and went off to bed, 
not without meditating on each other's peculiarities, 



AN ANCIENT RELIC OF 1812. 223 

The afiair was really very singular. The next morning, 
when the horses were brought round for Tchitchikoff, and he 
sprang into the calash, with almost as much agility as a military 
man, in a new coat, a white neckcloth and waistcoat, and drove 
off to pay his respects to the general, Tentyotnikoff was assailed 
by feelings such as he had not experienced for a long time. 
His rusty, dreamy thoughtfulness was converted into active 
disquietude. A nervous emotion suddenly overpowered all the 
other feelings of this idler, who had hitherto been wholly en- 
grossed in heedless indolence. He now seated himself on the 
sofa ; then he strayed to the window, then picked up a book, 
then tried to think, but his endeavours were fruitless ! Not a 
thought entered his brain. Then he tried to avoid thinking of 
anything — vain effort ! Fragments of something resembling 
thought, odds and ends, crept in from everywhere, and clung to 
his brain. " What a strange state of mind !" he said, and he 
approached the window, to gaze at the road which cut through 
the gloomy forest, at the extremity of which the dust raised 
by the departing calash was still revolving like smoke. But let 
us abandon Tentyotnikoff, and follow our hero to the general's. 



CHAPTER XIII. 

AN ANCIENT EELIC OF 1812. 



In a little more than half an hour, the good horses carried 
Tchitchikoff a distance of ten versts,* first through the dense 
forest, then between the fields of grain, which were already 
beginning to show green through the freshly ploughed soil ; then 
along a rocky ridge, whence views of the distant landscape were 
at each moment disclosed ; then up a broad avenue of lime-trees, 
which had as yet hardly put forth their leaves. He thus pro- 
ceeded to the very centre of the village. Here the avenue 
of lime-trees made a turn to the right and changed into a street 
of poplars, hemmed in below by a fence, which terminated in 
some open-work iron gates, through which peeped the facade of 
the general's house, resting on eight Corinthian columns, and 
richly ornamented with florid carving. Paint had been applied 
everywhere ; everything was kept in due repair, and nothing 
was allowed to fall into decay. The courtyard resembled a 
* A verst is about three-quarters of a mile. 



224 DEAD SOULS, 

polished wooden floor in cleanliness. Driving up to the entrance, 
Tchitchikoff sprang out, asked to be announced to the general, 
and was forthwith conducted to the latter's study. 

The general surprised him by his magnificent personal appear- 
ance. He was clad in a wadded satin dressing-gown, of a superb 
purple hue. His glance was frank, his face manly; his moustache 
and bushy whiskers were streaked with grey ; his hair was 
clipped close behind his head, allowing a full view of his thick 
neck, which was of the sort known as "three-storey," having 
three folds, with a transverse crease. In a word, he was one 
of those picturesque generals in whom the famous year '12 
abounded. 

General Betrishtcheff was indeed possessed of a multitude of 
good qualities and of a multitude of defects. As is usual with 
Russians, both were mingled within him in a sort of picturesque 
disorder. In decisive moments he displayed magnanimity, 
valour, wisdom, an unbounded generosity in everything, and, 
mingled with this, caprices of ambition, and that petty personal 
touchiness which no single Russian can ever dispense with when 
he is sitting in idleness, and when no demands are made upon 
his decision. He did not like those who had outstripped him 
in the service, but expressed himself in biting terms and pointed 
epigrams with regard to them. The one who sufi'ered most of 
all was a former comrade, whom he regarded as an inferior to 
himself in brains and capacity, but who had, nevertheless, 
risen above him, being already governor-general of two provinces, 
and, as though on purpose to spite him, of the very two in 
which his own estates were situated, so that he found himself 
dependent upon his rival, as it were. In revenge. General 
Betrishtcheff' slandered his ex-comrade on every possible occa- 
sion, blamed every regulation which he made, and regarded 
every measure he took as the height of folly. 

There was something strange about our general. He loved 
incense ; he loved brilliancy ; he was fond of boasting of 
his brains ; he was also fond of knowing things which other 
people did not know, and he did not like the people who knew 
anything of which he was ignorant. Although he had received 
a semi-foreign education, he was desirous of playing the part 
of a Russian gentleman in perfection. And it is not to be 
wondered at that with such unevenness, with such strong and 
salient contradictions of character, he should have experienced 
in the service a multitude of vexations, in consequence of 
which he had handed in his resignation, laying the blame of 
his worry on some inimical party, since he lacked the mag- 



AN ANCIENT RELIC OF 1812. 225 

nanimlty to assume any portion of the blame himself. He pre- 
served, in his retirement, the picturesquely grand demeanour of 
his profession. He was always the same, whether clad in 
a dress-coat, a surtout, or a dressing-gown. From the tone of 
his voice to the slightest movement of his body, everything 
about him was masterly and commanding ; and inspired, if not 
respect, at least fear, in the lower ranks. 

Tchitchikoflf experienced mingled fear and respect. Bending 
his head reverentially on one side, and making a fleeting out- 
ward movement with his hands, as though preparing to lift a 
tray full of cups, he inclined his body with wonderful agility, 
and said, " I have regarded it as my duty to present myself to 
your excellency. Cherishing as I do a reverence for the valour 
of the men who saved then- country upon the field of battle, 
I have regarded it as my duty to present myself in person to 
your excellency." 

This proceeding was evidently not displeasing to the general. 
With an exceedingly condescending movement of the head, he 
said, " I am very glad to make your acquaintance. I beg you 
to do me the favour to take a seat. Where have you served ? " 

"My career in the service," replied Tchitchikofl:', seating 
himself in the arm-chair, not in the middle, but sideways, and 
grasping the arms with his hands, " began in the department of 
justice, your excellency. Its latter course was completed in 
discharging various duties — in the superior courts, on a building 
commission, and in the custom-house service. My life may be 
likened to a vessel amid the billows, your excellency. In 
patience, as I may say, I was born and swaddled ; and I am, 
so to speak, patience itself personified. But as for the enemies 
who have sought my life, no words, no colours, so to speak, 
can possibly portray them in a proper manner. Hence, in the 
decline of life, I am merely seeking a nook where I may pass 
the remnant of my days. I have been stopping for a while with 
a near neighbour of your excellency." 

"Who is that?" 

" Tentyotnikoflf, your excellency." 

The general frowned. * 

"He greatly regrets, your excellency, that he did not show 
proper respect." 

"To what?" 

" To your excellency's merits. He finds no words — He 
says, ' If I could in any way atone — for truly I have not known 
how to value the men who saved our fatherland.* " 

" Pray, what is he thinking of? I'm not angry with him," 

p 



226 DEAD SOULS. 

said the mollified general. "From my soul I sincerely like 
him, and I am convinced that he will become a very useful man 
in the course of time." 

" You have been pleased to express yourself admirably, your 
excellency. Really, a most useful man : perhaps he will con- 
quer the world with his gift of language ; he is a master with 
his pen." 

" I suppose he writes some sort of nonsense — verses, eh ? " 

" No, your excellency, not nonsense. He is writing some- 
thing practical — history, your excellency." 

" History ? The history of what ? " 

"The history" — here Tchitchikoflf paused; and whether it 
was because the general was sitting opposite him, or else because 
he wished to impart more weight to the subject, he added, 
" The history of generals, your excellency." 

" Of generals ? Of what generals ? " 

" Of generals in general, your excellency; of generals as a 
body. That is, to speak accurately, of the generals of our coun- 
try." Tchitchikoff had become completely entangled and had 
lost his head; he could not help saying to himself, " Heavens, 
what nonsense I am talking ! " 

" Excuse me, I do not understand you very clearly. What is 
it about ? Is it to be the history of some particular period, or a 
series of separate biographies ? and of all our generals or only 
of those who were engaged in the war of 1812 ? " 

" Exactly so, your excellency ; of those who took part in the 
war of 1812." Having thus spoken, our hero said to himself, 
" May I be hanged if I understand it ! " 

" Then why doesn't he come to see me ? I could furnish him 
with a very great quantity of curious materials." 

"He is afraid, your excellency." 

" "What nonsense ! On account of a few idle words ! But 
I'm not that kind of a man at all. I am willing to go to see 
him, if you like." 

" He will not permit that : he will come to you," said Tchi- 
tchikoff recovering himself. As he regained his courage he thought 
"What a chance ! I came to the general's just at the right time ! 
But my tongue has been rattling away like a fool's.'' 

At this moment a rustling sound became audible in the study. 
A walnut-wood door opened, and a living form appeared, hold- 
ing the bronze knob in its hand. If a transparent picture, bril- 
liantly illuminated by lights from behind, had suddenly made its 
appearance in the dark room, it would not have produced a more 
startling effect. The girl who thus presented herself had evi- 



AN ANCIENT RELIC OF 1812. 227 

dently entered for the purpose of saying something to the gene- 
ral, but had stopped short on catching sight of the stranger. It 
seemed as though a ray of sunshine had flitted in with her, and 
as though the general's frowning study had burst into a laugh. 
Straight and light as an arrow, she seemed taller than most of 
her sex. But this was an illusion, for she was not of such lofty 
stature. It was the result of the remarkably harmonious com- 
bination of all the proportions of her body. Her gown fitted 
her as though the very best dressmakers had taken counsel 
together as to how they might best adorn her. But this also 
was an illusion. She dressed herself : she pricked her needle 
into some material or other, and it at once draped and arranged 
itself around her in such loops and folds that, if she had been 
transferred to canvas with all these bcAvitching draperies, she 
would have been pronounced the copy of a work of genius. All 
fashionably dressed young ladies would have appeared like the 
motley products of the rag-market, in her presence. However, 
despite all her comeliness, she was somewhat too thin and slender. 
*' Let me introduce my spoiled pet to you," said the general, 
turning to Tchitchikoflf. " But I do not yet know your names." 
" Is the name of a man who has never distinguished himself 
by his merits of any consequence ? " asked Tchitchikoflf, modestly 
dropping his head. 

"Still, it is necessary to know." 

"Pavel Ivanovitch, your excellency," replied Tchitchikoff, 
bowing with almost the skill of a military man, and skipping 
backwards with the lightness of an india-rubber ball. 

" Ulinka," said the general, turning to his daughter, "Pavel 
Ivanovitch has just imparted some interesting news to me. 
Our neighbour, Tentyotnikoflf, is not at all so stupid a fellow as 
we supposed. He is occupied with a rather important work — 
the history of the generals of 1812." 

" But who thought that he was a stupid man '? " hastily re- 
marked the girl. "No one, probably, excepting VishnepokromojQf, 
whom you put faith in, and who is a base and empty-headed 
fellow." 

" AVhy is he base ? He is rather empty-headed ; that's true," 
said the general. 

" He is not only empty-headed, but mean and crafty. A 
man who has insulted his brothers and driven his sister out of 
the paternal house, must be a mean fellow." 
" But that is only what people say." 

" Such things are not said without cause. I do not under- 
stand, father, how anyone with your kind soul, and with such 



228 DEAD SOtJLS. 

a rare heart as you have, can receive a man who is as far re- 
moved from you as heaven is from earth, and whom you your- 
self know to be bad." 

" There, you see," said the general, smiling at Tchitchikoff, 
** that's the way she and I always quarrel with each other; " 
and turning to his daughter, he continued, " But, my love, I can- 
not drive him away." 

" Why should you drive him away ? But why show him so 
much attention ? Why pet him ? " 

Here Tchitchikoff thought it incumbent on him to interpose 
a word. " Everyone asks for love, sudaruinya,'^' said Tchitchi- 
koff. " What is to be done ? Even animals like to be stroked. 
Bears will thrust their muzzles through the bars of their cages, 
as much as to say, ' Come, pat me ! ' " 

The general broke into a laugh "They really do thrust 
their muzzles through : * Come, pat me ! ' Ha, ha, ha ! And 
there are some who are not content with all that, but want 
you to come into their dens, and demand encouragement, as it 
were. Ha, ha, ha ! " and the general's sides began to quiver 
with laughter. His shoulders, which had formerly supported 
his heavy epaulets, shook too, exactly as though they still upheld 
those ornamental appendages. 

Tchitchikoff also gave a laugh, but out of respect for the 
general, he emitted it in the letter e, — "He, he ! he, he, he ! " 
And his body also began to quiver with laughter, but his 
shoulders did not shake, because they had never worn heavy 
epaulets. 

"A man will steal, he will rob the treasury, and yet demand 
a reward for it, the beast I ' It's impossible,' says he ' to labour 
without encouragement.' Ha, ha, ha, ha ! " 

"Has your excellency ever heard that story, 'Love us while 
We are dirty, everyone will love us when we're clean,' " said 
Tchitchikoff, turning to the general with rather a roguish smile. 

" No, I have never heard it." 

" It is a most curious anecdote, your excellency. On the 
estate of Prince Gukzovsky, whom your excellency probably 
knows — " 

" No, I do not know him." 

" Well, there was a German overseer there, your excellency, 
^=-a young man. He had occasion to go to the city in connec- 
tion with recruiting and other matters, and had some dealings 
with the judicial authorities ; now do you know, he greased 

* Sudcruhiya, miss or madam, 



AN ANCIENT RELIC OF 1812. 229 

theu' hands " (Tchitchikoff here screwed up one eye, and 
indicated by his countenance how one " greases " the hands of 
public officials). " Well, they entertained him on one occasion, 
and while he was dining with them, he says, ' Gentlemen, you 
must come and visit me one of these days on the prince's 
estate.' They reply, 'We will.' It chanced, your excellency, 
that a short time afterwards the judges had to make some in- 
vestigations concerning an affair which had occurred on the 
estate of Count Trekhmetiefi', whom your excellency is no doubt 

pleased to " 

" No, I do not know him." 

" Well, they did not make the investigation, but they turned 
their telyega into the farm-yard, went to the house-steward's 
apartments, and played cards for three days and nights without 
stopping to draw breath. The samover and the punch, your 
excellency, never left the table. They fairly stuck in the 
throat of the count's steward, so to speak." (Here Tchitchi- 
kofi' pointed at his own throat.) " In order to get rid of them, 
he says, * You should go to see the prince's overseer, gentlemen, 
the German; he is not far ofl', and he is expecting you.' — 
'Ah, surely! ' say they, ' he invited us.' So all of them, all 
sleepy and unshaven as they were, with dirty hands and faces, — ■ 
got into their telyega, and drove off to the German's. But the 
German, your excellency, had just been married. He had 
married a schoolgirl, a pretty and subtle young woman." 
(Tchitchikoff here expressed her subtlety in his countenance.) 
" Being, so to speak, in the midst of their honeymoon, they 
were sitting over their tea like two dear little angels, when all of 
a sudden the door opened, and the assemblage burst in upon 
them." 

" I can imagine it ; very good," said the general, laughing. 
"This so surprised the German, your excellency, that he 
quite lost his head. He steps up to the officials, and says, 
' What do you want, you dirty louts ? ' — ' Well, you're a pretty 
fellow ! ' they reply : ' a different turn of matters demands a 
different turn of speech. We've come on business,' they add. 
* How much brandy is distilled on this estate ? Show your 
books ! ' He stammered this and that. 'Ei, off with him ! ' 
they shouted, and then they seized him, bound him, carried him 
to town, and there he remained in prison for a year and a half." 
"Well, I declare ! " said the general. 
Ulinka clasped her hands. 

" His wife, your excellency, began to make a fuss. But 
what can a woman do when she is young, and hasn't been tried 



230 DEAD SOULS. 

in the furnace of experience, so to speak ? Fortunately, there 
were some kind people on hand who advised her to go to see 
the justice of the peace. The German recovered his freedom, 
your excellency, on condition that he spent two thousand 
roubles on a complimentary banquet. And after the dinner, 
when they all were pretty thoroughly drunk, they said to him, 
' Here, you see ! You scorned us ! You wanted to see us all 
properly shaved and washed. No, yoii must love tis xvhile ive 
are dirty, for everyone will like us ivhen we are clean.' " 

The general burst into a roar of laughter, but a pained expres- 
sion appeared on the girl's noble face. 

"Ah, papa ! I do not understand how you can laugh," said 
she. "These dishonourable deeds cause me sorrow and no- 
thing else. When I see deception openly practised in the sight 
of all, when I see that the perpetrators are not punished by 
universal scorn, I do not know what takes place within me, but 
I become angry, and I think and think — " And here she 
suddenly burst into tears. 

"Only please don't be angry with us," said the general; 
" we are not to blame in this matter, eh ? " he went on, turning 
to Tchitchikoflf, "Kiss me, my dear, and go to your room. I 
am about to dress for dinner. I hope," he added, looking 
Tchitchikoff in the face, " that you will stay to dine with 
me." 

" If your excellency will only " — 

" Stay without ceremony. I have plenty to offer you, thank 
God. There is some cabbage-soup." 

With a deprecatory motion of the hands Tchitchikoff bent 
his head with respect and gratitude, so that all the objects in 
the room were hidden from his view for a moment, merely the 
tips of his boots remaining visible to him. When he raised his 
head once more, after remaining in this reverent attitude for a 
ew moments, Ulinka was no longer visible. She had vanished. 
In her stead there stood before him a gigantic valet, with thick 
moustaches and whiskers, who was holding a silver washbasin 
and a towel in his hands. 

" You will permit me to dress in your presence ?" asked the 
general. 

" Not only to dress in my presence, but to do anything which 
your excellency sees fit." 

Pulling off his dressing-gown with one hand, and pulling up 
the sleeves of his shirt, the general began his ablutions, splash- 
ing and snorting like a duck. The soapy water flew about in 
all directions. 



AN ANCIENT RELIC OF 1812. 231 

" How does it go '? " said he, as he wiped his neck on all 
sides. " ' You must love us while we are clean ' " — 

" Dirty, your excellency." 

" Yes, ' while we are dirty, for everyone will love us when we 
are clean.' Very, very good ! They love, they love, they 
actually love encouragement. Stroke, stroke them ! Without 
encouragement, they won't steal, eh? Ha, ha, ha ! " 

Tchitchikoft* was in indescribable spirits, and a fresh inspira- 
tion suddenly came to him. " The general is a jolly fellow, and 
a good-natured one. I'll try my dodge," thought he ; and then 
perceiving that the valet had retired with the washbasin, he ex- 
claimed, " Your excellency, since you are so kind and attentive 
to everyone, I have a great favour to ask of you." 

" What is it ? " 

"I have an aged, invalid uncle, your excellency," said Tchi- 
tchikoff, glancing about him. " He has three hundred souls, 
and no heir except myself. He is not able to manage his 
estate himself, on account of his infirmities ; and he will not 
allow me to manage it either. And he alleges a queer reason 
for this. ' I do not know my nephew,' says he. ' Perhaps he 
is a spendthrift. Let him prove to me that he is a trustworthy 
man : let him acquire three hundred souls for himself, and then 
I will give him my three hundred.' " 

" Why, what does he mean ? He's certainly a perfect fool," 
said the general. 

"If he were only a fool, one might get along. But think of 
my position, your excellency. The old man has taken a house- 
keeper, and she has some children of her own. Before I know 
it, they will get hold of everything." 

" The old fellow must have lost his senses," said the general. 
"Only I do not see how I can help you," he added, looking at 
Tchitchikofi" in surprise. 

"Well, this is what I have thought of. If your excellency 
would make over to me all the dead souls in your village, just 
as though they were alive, with a regular bill of sale, then I 
could show the bill of sale to the old man, and he would leave 
me his fortune." 

Here the general burst into such a laugh as man can never 
have given vent to before. He flung himself into an arm-chair, 
threw his head back, and almost choked. The whole house was 
alarmed. The valet hurried in, and then came the daughter in 
affright. 

"Father, what has happened to you?" she asked, in terror 
and amazement. 



232 DEAD SOULS. 

But it was a long while before the general uttered a sound. 
" It's nothing, my dear. Go to your own room. We will come 
to dinner directly. Be at ease. Ha, ha, ha ! " 
* Then, after giving vent to several fresh sighs, the general's 
laughter burst forth with fresh violence, and re-echoed from the 
vestibule to the most remote room in the house, 

Tchitchikoff felt disturbed. 

" Uncle, uncle ! how finely fooled you will be ! " said the 
general. "Ha, ha, ha ! To receive dead souls instead of live 
ones ! Ha, ha, ha ! " 

" Dear me, how ticklish his nerves are ! " thought Tchitchi- 
koff to himself. 

"Ha, ha, ha !" went on the general. " What an ass ! The 
idea of demanding such a thing ! Let him make three hundred 
souls out of nothing in my presence, and then I'll give him three 
hundred souls of mine ! He's an ass, of course ! " 

" Yes, your excellency, he's an ass." 

" Well, that's a good trick of yours, to treat the old fellow 
to dead souls. Ha, ha, ha ! I'd give, God knows what, to see 
him when you present that bill of sale to him. But what is 
he ? What's he like ? Is he very old ? " 

"Eighty years." 

"But he moves about? He's alert? He must be pretty 
strong if that housekeeper lives with him." 

" Strong, indeed ! He's wasting away, grain by grain, your 
excellency." 

" What a fool ! Surely he is a fool ! " 

" He is, your excellency." 

" But he goes out in society ? Does he look alert ? Can he 
support himself on his legs ? " 

" He can stand, but with difficulty." 

" What a fool ! But he is strong ? Has he still his teeth ? " 

" Only two, your excellency." 

" What an ass ! Don't get angry, my friend. He's an ass, 
even if he is your uncle." 

" He is an ass, your excellency, though he is my rela- 
tive, and it is hard to acknowledge it. Still, what is to be 
done?" 

TchitchikoiF lied : it was not hard to acknowledge, for the 
probabilities are that he had never had an uncle whatsoever. 

" As matters stand," he added, *' if your excellency will be 
so kind as to grant me — " 

" The dead souls ? Oh ! for such a trick I'd give them to you 
with land and houses too. Take the whole cemetery ! Ha, 



TWO VERY ECCE>'TRIC PERSONS. 233 

ha, ha, ha ! That old man ! that old man ! Ha, ha, ha, ha ! 

How j'our uncle will be fooled ! Ha, ha, ha, ha ! " 

And again the general's roars of laughter rang through the 
apartments.* 



CHAPTEE XIV. 

WHICH DESCRIBES TWO YEEY ECCENTEIC PERSONS. 

" If Colonel Koshkareff reall)'' is a monomaniac, it would not 
be a bad thing to try my little dodge on him," said Tchitchikoff, 
on finding himself once more amid the open fields and the vast 
expanse, when everything had disappeared, and all that re- 
mained was the vault of heaven above and two clouds on one 
side. 

" Selifon, did you make thorough inquiries as to the road to 
Cefeffel Kdslik:arefi''s ? " he asked. 

" If you will please to consider, Pavel Ivanovitch, I had no 
time to do so, for I was working at the calash ; but Petrushka 
inquired of the coachman." 

" What a fool ! You have been told that no reliance is to be 
placed in Petrushka. Petrushka is a blockhead, Petrushka is 
a stupid, and Petrushka is certainly drunk now, to boot." 

" There's surely no such difliculty about it," said Petrushka, 
turning half round, and looking out of the corner of his eye. 
" There's nothing more to do than to take to the fields after 
descending the hill." 

" And you have taken nothing in your mouth excepting com- 
mon brandy '? Good, very good ! One may say, he marvelled 
at the beauty of Europe." After this remark, Tchitchikoft' 
stroked his chin, and asked himself, " What a difference there 

* The author appears to have left this portion of his story unfinished. 
From some rough notes which were found, however, after his death, it 
would seem that he here intended to describe how Tentyotnikoff wiis 
reconciled to his friend the general, to whom he soon paid a ceremonious 
visit at Tchitchikott's suggestion. They had a conversation together 
respecting the generals of 1812, and eventually Tentyotnikoff asked for 
Ulinka's hand. Her father finally consented to a betrothal, and then 
determined to entrust our friend, Tchitchikoff with the task of communi- 
cating this important news to the various members of the family. When 
the story is resumed in chapter xiv., the hero is seen on his way to the 
residence of one of the relatives, a certain Colonel Koshkareff, who ig 
suffering from a peculiar form of monomania. 



234 DEAD SOULS. 

is, after all, between the physiognomy of a cultivated nobleman 
and that of a coarse lackey." 

Meanwhile, the calash had begun to go down-hill. The fields, 
and the wide expanse dotted with maple-groves, opened out 
again. The comfortable equipage, rocking gently on its elastic 
springs, continued to descend the declivity, and at length, 
traversing the fields, it passed by a mill ; then, over a bridge, 
with a light rumble ; and finally with a little bound, over 
the soft, yielding surface of the lowlands. And not even a 
mound or a hillock was to be seen on either hand. Silence 
prevailed, not even a calash was in view. 

The clumps of vines, the slender alders, and silvery poplars 
flew by, brushing Selifan and Petrushka, on the box, with 
their branches. They swept the latter's cap ofi" every moment. 
The surly servitor leapt from the box, cursed the stupid trees, 
and his master who had perched him up there, but he would 
neither fasten his cap nor even hold on to it with his hand, 
hoping that each time would be the last, and that the mishap 
would not occur again. Maples, birches, and pines were soon 
added to the list of trees. The forest grew darker, and seemed 
to be preparing to turn to the blackness of night. But all at 
once, from every quarter, gleams of light shone between the 
branches and tree-boles, like flashes from a mirror. The trees 
became more sparsely scattered, the gleams of light grew larger, 
and then, all at once, a lake lay before them — a watery expanse 
four versts in diameter. 

High above the lake, on the opposite shore, lay scattered the 
gray timber cabins of a village. Shouts rang from the water. 
Twenty men, standing up to their waists, their shoulders, and 
their necks in the lake, were dragging a net to the opposite 
shore. An accident had happened. Along "vvith the fish a man 
had become entangled — a man who, in height as in girth, was 
the exact counterpart of a water-melon, or a small cask. He 
was in a desperate condition, and was yelling at the top of his 
lungs, " Blockhead Denis, give it over to Kuzma ! Kuzma, 
take the end from Denis ! Don't bear on so. Big Foma ! Go 
yonder, where little Foma is. You devils ! you'll break the net, 
I tell you ! " 

This water-melon evidently had no fears for himself: he 
could not drown, owing to his corpulence ; and tumble about as 
he would, with the object of diving, the water kept bringing 
him to the surface ; even if two men had seated themselves on 
his back, he would have remained on the surface of the water 
with them like an obstinate bladder, merely grunting a little 



TWO VERY ECCENTRIC PERSONS. 235 

beneath their weight, and emitting bubbles through his nose. 
But he was very much afraid that his net would break and the 
fish he had caught escape him ; and, therefore, several men, 
stationed on the bank with ropes, were dragging him in as well 
as the fish. 

" This must be a gentleman ; this must be Colonel Kosh- 
karefi'," said Selifan. 

" Why ? " asked our hero. 

"Because his body, as you will be pleased to observe, is 
whiter than other people's, and he is respectably corpulent, like 
a gentleman." 

Meanwhile, the gentleman who was entangled in the net had 
been dragged considerably nearer to the shore. On feeling that 
he could touch the bottom with his feet, he did so, and at the 
same time he became aware of the calash descending to the dam, 
and of Tchitchikofi" seated in it. 

" Have you dined ? " shouted the gentleman, stepping on to 
the bank, with the captured fish enveloped in the net, like a 
lady's hand incased in a transparent glove in summer-time. 
Then, as he held one hand before his eyes like a visor, to shield 
them from the sun, and let the other one hang down — looking 
for all the world like the Venus de Medici emerging from the 
bath — he repeated his question in a loud voice. 

" No, I haven't dined," answered Tchitchikofi", raising his cap, 
and continuing to bow from the calash. 

" Well, thank God for that ! " 

" Why ? " inquired Tchitchikofi", with curiosity, holding his 
cap above his head. 

" Because ! — fling that sturgeon also into the washtub, Little 
Foma! Go and help him, Kuzma." Two of the fishermen 
now lifted the head of some monster out of the tub. " See 
what a prince ! he came in from the river ! " added the stout 
gentleman. " Go to the manor-house. Coachman, take the 
road below, through the vegetable garden. Run, you stupid 
Big Foma, knock down the palings. He will guide you, and 
ril be there directly." 

Long-legged, barefooted Big Foma ran, just as he was, in his 
shirt alone, through the whole village, where drag-nets, fishing- 
baskets, and similar things hung over every cabin, for all the 
peasants were fishermen ; then he took down the palings 
of some vegetable garden, and through this garden the calash 
entered a square close to a wooden church. Farther on, 
behind the church, the roofs of the manorial buildings were 
visible. 



236 DEAD SOULS. 

" This Koshkareff is rather eccentric," said Tchitchikoff to 
himself. 

"Here I am!" cried a voice on one side, whereupon our 
hero glanced round. The gentleman had already arrived beside 
him, clad in a grass-green nankeen surtout and yellow breeches ; 
but his neck was devoid of a neckcloth, after the manner of 
Cupid's. He was seated sideways in a drozhky, the whole of 
which he took up by himself. Tchitchikoff tried to say some- 
thing to him, but, behold, he had already disappeared. The 
drozhky again made its appearance at the spot where the fish 
had been drawn out, and again the fat man s voice rang out, 
" Big Foma and Little Foma ! Kuzma and Denis ! " 

When Tchitchikoff arrived at the porch of the house, he was 
amazed to find the fat gentleman already there to receive him in 
his embrace. How he had managed to fly there was incompre- 
hensible. They kissed each other, however, making a triple 
cross, after the ancient Eussian custom. The gentleman be- 
longed to the old school. 

" I have brought you a greeting from his excellency," began 
Tchitchikoff. 

" From what excellency ? " 

" From your relative. General Alexander Dmitrievitch." 

'• AVho is this Alexander Dmitrievitch ? " 

" General Betrishtcheff," replied Tchitchiko'ff in some surprise. 

" Don't know him." 

Tchitchikoff was still more amazed. 

" How is this ? I hope, at least, that I have the pleasure of 
addressing Colonel Koshkareff? " 

" No, don't hope it. Thank God that you have come not to 
him but to me, Piotr Petrovitch Pyetukh, Pyetukh Piotr Petro- 
vitch," repeated the host. 

Tchitchikoff was petrified. " How's this ? " said he, turning 
to Selifan and Petrushka, both of whom dropped their jaws and 
stared with all theu' eyes, as one sat on the box and the other 
stood at the door of the calash. "How's this, you fools? 
You were told to go to Colonel Koshkareff 's, and this is Piotr 
Petrovitch Pyetukh's ? " 

"You have behaved capitally, my children! Go to the 
kitchen : they will give each of you a measure of vodka there," 
said Piotr Petrovitch Pyetukh. " Unharness the horses, and go 
to the servants' quarters this instant ! " 

"I am meditating what I ought to do: such an unforeseen 
Hiistake," said Tchitchikoff. 

"It's no mistake. First see what sort of a dinner we have, 



TWO VERY ECCENTRIC fERSOKS. 237 

atid then say whether it is a mistake. I most humbly beg of you 
to enter," added Pyetukh, taking Tchitchikoff by the arm, and 
leading him into the house. From the rooms there emerged to 
meet them two young fellows dressed in summer surtouts, and 
as slender as willow wands : they exceeded their father in height 
by a full arshin. 

" My sons, students at the gymnasium, who have come home 
for the holidays. You can remain with our guest, Nikolasha ; 
and you, Alexasha, come with me." So saying, the host dis- 
appeared. 

Tchitchikoff devoted his attention to Nikolasha. The latter, 
it appeared, bade fair to be a good-for-nothing in the future. 
He told Tchitchikoff, the very tirst thing, that there was no 
advantage to be derived from studying at the provincial gym- 
nasium ; that he and his brother wanted to go to Petersburg, 
because the provinces were not fit to live in. 

" I understand," thought Tchitchikoff: " the matter will end 
with the confectioners' shops and the boulevards. But how 
are matters '? " he asked aloud : "in what condition is your 
papa's property ? " 

*' Mortgaged," replied the papa himself, who was again in the 
drawing-room. " Mortgaged." 

" That's bad," thought Tchitchikoff. " At this rate there 
will soon be no <?state at all. I must make haste — but that 
was surely unnecessary," he said, with an air of regret. "You 
have been over-hasty in mortgaging it." 

" No, not at all," said Pyetukh. " People say that it is profit- 
able. Everybody mortgages his property now : how can one help 
following the example of others '? Besides, I have always lived 
here : I am going to try to live in Moscow. Here are my 
sons persuading me to do so ; they long for the culture of the 
capital." 

"What a fool this man is," thought Tchitchikoff": "he is 
squandering everything, and making spendthrifts of his sons. 
It's a snug little property. "When you come to look at it, the 
peasants are well oft", and he's not badly situated either. But 
when they become cultured yonder, in the restaurants and 
theatres, everything will go to the devil. This fisherman ought 
to live on his own property in the country." 

"I am sure that I know what you are thinking of," said 
Pyetukh. 

" What? " inquired Tchitchikoff, in some confusion. 

" You are thinking, ' Fool, fool that this Pyetukh is ! he has 
invited me to dinner, and as yet there's no dinner provided. 



238 DEAD SOULS. 

Well, it will soon be ready, most respected sir. It will be ready 
before a girl with a shaved head has time to braid her hair." 

" Daddy, here's Platon Mikhailovitch coming," said Alexasha, 
looking out of the window. 

** Mounted on his brown horse," added Nikolasha, leaning 
over the sill. 

" Where, where ?" cried Pyetukh, approaching the window. 

"Who is this Platon Mikhailovitch ?" inquired Tchitchikoff 
of Alexasha. 

" Our neighbour, Platon Mikhailovitch Platonoff, a very hand- 
some man," answered Alexasha 

In the meantime, Platonoff himself had entered the room : 
he was a handsome fellow, with a fine figure and glossy light 
hair, which curled naturally. A heavy-jawed terror of a dog, by 
the name of Yarb,, followed him, rattling his brass collar. 

" Have you dined ? " inquired the host. 

"Yes." 

"What have you come for then — to laugh at me? What 
can I do with you when you have dined ? " 

The visitor laughed, and replied, "I will console you by ad- 
mitting that I ate nothing at dinner : I had no appetite at all." 

" And we have had such a catch ! If you could only have seen 
it ! Such sturgeons ! Such carp and karasishtcJd /" '■'■ 

" It's vexatious enough to hear you tell me about it. Why 
are you always so cheerful ? " 

"And why should one be bored, if you please ? " asked the 
master of the house. 

" Why be bored ? Because things are tiresome." 

" You eat too little ; that's all. Try to make a good dinner. 
It's only lately that boredom was invented. Nobody used to get 
bored in former times." 

" Well, enough of your boasting ! Just as if you were never 
bored ! " 

" I never am. And upon my word there's no time to be bored. 
One wakes up in the morning, and there's the cook on the spot, 
and dinner must be ordered : then comes tea, and then the over- 
seer, and then the fishing, and then dinner. After dinner, and 
before one has a chance to snore, there's the cook again, and 
supper must be ordered. How has one any time to feel bored ? " 

During the whole of this conversation, Tchitchikofi" had been 
observing the new-comer, who had amazed him by his remark- 
ably good looks, his slender, picturesque figure, the freshness, 

* A fish reBembling carp. ] 



TWO VERY ECCENTRIC PERSOlsrs. 239 

indeed, the feminine clearness of his complexion, which was not 
defaced by a single blemish. Neither passion nor grief, nor 
anything in the nature of emotion, had dared to lay a finger on 
his face, which was as pure as a young girl's, nor to imprint 
even a wrinkle upon it, although that might have given it a look 
of life, for it was a rather sleepy face in spite of the ironical 
smile which lighted it up at times. 

" And I, permit me to remark," said Tchitchikofi', "am unable 
to understand how a man can mope when he has such a per- 
sonal appearance as yours. Of course, if he lacks money, or 
has enemies — and there are people who are always ready to 
make attempts even on the life of a man." 

"Believe me," interrupted the handsome man, "I should 
sometimes like a little anxiety, for the sake of variety. If some 
one would only put me in a passion ! But there's no one to do 
so. It's a bore, and that's all there is about it." 

" Then, you have not a sufficient amount of land in your 
estate, or the number of your serfs is small ? " 

" Not in the least. My brother and I have ten thousand 
desijatins'-'- of land between us, and over a thousand men peasants 
on them." 

" Strange ! I cannot understand it ! But perhaps you have 
had some bad harvests, or epidemics, or some of your male serfs 
have died ? " 

" On the contrary, everything is in the best of order, and my 
brother is a capital manager." 

"And to mope with all that! I don't understand it," said 
Tchitchikofl', shrugging his shoulders. 

"We'll drive away his moping mood immediately," said the 
host. " Run, Alexasha, quick, to the kitchen, and tell the cook 
to send us some fish-patties as speedUy as possible. And where's 
that jackanapes Yemelyan, and that thief Antoshka ? Why don't 
they serve the zakuska / " f 

But at this moment the door opened. The jackanapes Ye- 
melyan and the thief Antoshka made their appearance with nap- 
'EinfT'spread the table, and set on it a tray with six decanters, 
containing liquors of various colours. A necklace of plates, with 
all sorts of viands fit to arouse the appetite, soon surrounded 
the tray and decanters. The servants flitted hastily hither and 
thither, incessantly fetching something in covered dishes, inside 
of which butter could be heard bubbling. The jackanapes Ye- 
melyan and the thief Antoshka arranged things in excellent 

* Twenty-seven thousand acres, 
t Appetizers. 



240 DEAD SOULS. 

style. Their nicknames had merely been bestowed on them by 
way of encouragement. Their master was not at all fond of 
scolding, being a good-natured fellow ; but the Eussian man 
cannot get along without a spicy word now and then. It is as 
necessary to him as a glass of vodka is to his stomach, to aid 
digestion. How can it be helped ? Such is his nature : be 
likes nothing that is sweet. 

The zakuska was followed by the dinner. Now the kind- 
hearted host became a thorough brigand. No sooner did he spy 
a bit of food on anyone's fork than he immediately added 
another, saying, " Without a mate, neither man nor bird can 
live in this world." If anyone had two morsels, he heaped a 
third on to the top of them, declaring, " What sort of a number 
is two ? God loves a trinity." If his guest had three, he said, 
"Where was there ever a telyega seen with three wheels? Who 
builds a cabin with three corners ? " As regards the fourth bit 
he was prepared with a proverb also, and likewise as regards 
the fifth. Tchitchikoff devoured nearly a dozen slices, and 
thought, "Well, the host won't pile up anything more." But 
in vain : without saying a word, his host laid on his plate some 
ribs of veal, with kidneys, from a most gigantic calf. 

" I fed the animal for two years on milk," said the host : " I 
cared for him as though he had been my own son ! " 

"I cannot eat it," said Tchitchikoff. 

" Try, and say I cannot afterwards." 

" It won't go down. I have no room left." 

" Well, there was no room in the church, as the story goes ; 
but the chief of police arrived — and a place was found for him. 
There was such a throng that there was not room for an apple 
to fall. Only try : this morsel is the chief of police." 

Tchitchikoff did try, and the morsel actually was something 
in the nature of a chief of police. A place was found for it, but 
it seemed as though nothing more could be put in. 

" Now, how is such a man to go to Petersburg or Moscow ! 
In three years, with such hospitality as this, he would utterly 
ruin himself," thought Tchitchikoff. Of course he was not aware 
that this had already been thoroughly accomplished, and that, 
even without being hospitable, a man may get rid of everything, 
not in three years, but even in three months. 

It was the same with the wines. On receiving his money from 
the mortgage-bank, Piotr Petrovitch had provided himself with 
a store of wines for ten years to come. Consequently, he poured 
and poured. What the guests did not drink, he gave to Alexasha 
and Nikolasha, who clinked their glasses together like the rest. 



TWO VERY ECCENTRIC PERSONS. 241 

It was plain in advance to what branch of human learning they 
would direct their attention upon their arrival in the capital. The 
guests could hardly move. With great difficulty they dragged 
themselves on to the balcony, and with greater difficulty disposed 
themselves in some arm-chairs. The host had no sooner seated 
himself in his, of a special square shape, than he fell asleep. 
His corpulent person becoming converted into a blacksmith's 
bellows, as it were, began, through his open mouth and nostrils, 
to emit such sounds as even a realistic writer could not describe. 
It was like a drum and a fife at play, combined with yet another 
sound resembling the bark of a dog. 

" Eh, how he whistles ! " said Platonoflf. 

Tchitchikolf began to laugh. 

" Of course, if you dine like that, there's no chance of getting 
bored. Sleep follows, does it not ? " 

" Yes. But, nevertheless, I — you must excuse me — I cannot 
understand how it is possible for you to be bored. There are 
so many means to prevent oneself being bored." 

"What are they?" 

"Are there not plenty for a young man ? Dancing, playing 
on some instrument, not to mention getting married." 

"To whom?" 

" Are there no rich, pretty girls in the neighbourhood, then ?" 

" Well, no." 

" Well, then you can look elsewhere : you can travel." And 
a brilliant idea flashed through Tchitchikoff's brain. "Yes, 
that's a capital suggestion! " he said, looking Platonoff full in 
the eye. 

"What?" 

"Travelling." 

" Where is one to go ? " 

" Why, if you are at liberty, come with me," said Tchitchikoff ; 
and he thought, as he gazed at Platonofl", " That would be a tine 
thing. Then we might share the expenses, and the whole cost 
of repairing the trap might be carried to his account." 

" But were are you going ?" 

" Just at present I am not travelling on my own aflfairs so 
much as on those of someone else. General BetrishtchefF, an 
intimate friend, and, I may say, a benefactor, has requested me 
to inform his relatives — in short, it's a family matter ; but it is 
my own afiair too, so to speak ; and, say what you will, to see 
the world, to observe the manners of its people, is like a living 
book, a second education." While he spoke thus, Tchitchikoff 
was thinking to himself, " It really would be capital ! I might 

Q 



242 DEAD SOULS. 

charge all the expenses to him, and even travel with his horses, 
while mine are being fed in his village." 

" Why shouldn't I travel ? " Platonoff was thinking on his 
side in the meanwhile, " I have nothing to do at home ; and 
the management of my affairs is in my brother's hands, so there 
would be no dissipation about it. Why not travel, in fact ? Will 
you consent," he asked aloud, "to pass two days with my 
brother ? Otherwise, he would not let me go." 

" With the greatest pleasure ; three even." 

" Come, shake hands on it. We'll go," said Platonoff, brighten- 
ing up. 

He clapped his hands. " Let's be off! " he added. 

" Where ? where ? " cried the host, waking up and staring at 
them. " No, my dear fellows. I have ordered a wheel to be 
removed from the calash ; and your horse, Platon Mikhail ovitch, 
has been driven fifteen versts away. No : you are going to pass 
the night here ; and to-morrow, after an early dinner, you may 
go your way." 

What was to be done with Pyetukh ? They were forced to 
remain, and were rewarded with a beautiful spring evening. 
The host arranged a trip on the river. Twelve rowers and 
twenty-four oars, accompanied by songs, bore them over the sur- 
face of the mirror-like lake. From the lake they entered the 
river, which was immeasurably broad, with sloping banks on 
either side ; and they passed, ever and anon, beneath ropes 
stretched from shore to shore, to assist in the fisheries. The 
waters were barely disturbed by the current ; the changing 
views, as they succeeded one another, presented themselves in 
silence to the eyesight; and grove after grove refreshed one 
with an ever-varying commingling of trees. 

The rowers, grasping their twenty-four oars simultaneously, 
suddenly elevated them in the air, and the boat floated along 
over the motionless, glassy surface, as lightly as a bird. The 
leader of the singers, a broad-shouldered youth, who sat third 
from the rudder, struck up the opening lines of a song in a clear, 
ringing voice, which seemed to issue from the throat of a 
nightingale. Five more caught up the refrain ; the other six 
carried it on, and it poured forth in a melody as boundless as 
Russia herself. Even Pyetukh roused up, and began to hum, 
supporting the singers whenever the chorus lacked strength ; 
and even Tchitchikoff felt sensible that he was a Russian. Pla- 
tonoff alone thought, " What is there fine about that melancholy 
tune ? It only makes one's soul still more depressed." 

The shades of night had already fallen when they returned. 



TWO VERY ECCENTRIC PERSONS. 243 

The oars beat upon the water, which no longer reflected the 
heavens. In darkness they landed on the shore, where fires had 
been lighted, and here, on tripods, some fish-soup, made of 
freshly caught quivering chubs, was cooking. The village cattle 
and poultry had long since been driven home ; the dust they had 
raised had settled again, and the herdsmen who had driven 
them stood at the gates waiting for their usual pot of milk and 
an invitation to partake of some of the fish-soup. Amid the 
darkness the subdued hum of men's voices and the yelping of 
dogs, resounding from some distant village, were audible. The 
moon rose, bent upon lighting up the darkened landscape, and 
finally everything was illuminated. Wondrous was the picture ! 
But there was no one to admire it. Nikolasha and Alexasha 
were dreaming of Moscow, of the restaurants and the theatres, 
about which a cadet who came from the capital had told them ; 
their father was meditating how he might feed his guests ; Pla- 
tonoff" was yawning. Tchitchikoff" seemed to be the most ani- 
mated of them all. 

" Truly," thought he, " I will set up a little hamlet of my 
own someday. How can a man live anywhere except in the 
country ? " And visions of a pretty wife and some small Tchit- 
chikofi's began to present themselves to his fancy. 

And at supper they again over-fed themselves. "When Pavel 
Ivanovitch entered the apartment which had been prepared for 
him, and, throwing himself on the bed, felt his stomach, he said, 
" It's full, choke-full ! No chief of police living could get into 
it! " As it happened, the study of the master of the house 
must needs be situated on the other side of the wall of our hero's 
room. The partition was thin, and every word which was spoken 
in the study was audible to Tchitchikoft", who now heard his host 
giving orders to the cook for an early breakfast on the morrow ; 
and what orders they were ! They would have given a corpse an 
appetite. First came a roar, " Now, roast it brown, and see that 
it is well basted ! " And then the cook responded in a shrill 
falsetto, " I obey, sir ! It shall be done, sir ! " 

"And you are to make a four-cornered fish-pasty," resumed 
the master, drawing in his breath with a sucking noise. "In 
one corner you must put the cheeks and the cartilage of the 
sturgeon, in another some buckwheat stufiing with onions and 
mushrooms, some garlic, sweet milk, brains, cocks' crests and 
crawfish, and — you know ; arrange it so that it may be appe- 
tising." 

" Yes, sir. I will do as you tell me." 

*' And let it be browned on one side, and lighter on the other. 



244 DEAD SOULS. 

And bake it so that the crust may be all soaked with the con- 
tents, so that it may be — you know how, not crumbly, but likely 
to melt in your mouth." Thereupon Pyetukh smacked his lips, 
and wiped them. 

" The deuce take it ! He won't let me go to sleep," thought 
Tchitchikoff, as he wrapped the coverlet round his head, in order 
not to hear. However, through the coverlet now came the 
words — 

" And round the sturgeon place some little stars of beetroot 
and mushrooms — you know, with horseradish and turnips, car- 
rots and beans, and some of that — what do you call it ? — so that 
there may be as much garnishing as possible. And then let us 
have a pig's breast, well stuffed and with some nice crackling, 
and the sauce served apart. 

And many other dishes besides did Pyetukh order, continually 
repeating, " And brown it, and roast it crisp, and see that it is 
well basted ! " Tchitchikoli' at last fell asleep while his host was 
giving some orders about a turkey. 

The next day the guests overfed themselves to such an extent 
that Platonofi' could not ride. His stallion was sent back in 
charge of one of Pyetukh's grooms, and then he and Tchitchi- 
koff seated themselves in the calash, whilst the thick-nosed dog, 
Yarb, followed them languidly. He, too, had overfed himself. 

" This is too much. It does not do to over-feed one's self 
like this," said Tchitchikoff, when they had left the house be- 
hind them. 

" And our friend thinks such a life the correct thing : that's 
the vexatious part of it," said Platonofl'. 

" Well, if I had an income of seventy thousand roubles a year 
like you," thought Tchitchikoff', " I wouldn't let myself be 
bored." 

" Would you object to going to a village about ten versts 
from here ? " inquired Platonofl'. " I should like to take leave of 
my sister and my brother-in-law." 

" With the greatest pleasure," said Tchitchikoff. 

" If you are fond of learning any particulars about the man- 
agement of an estate," said Platonoff', " you will take an interest 
in making my brother-in-law's acquaintance. You cannot find 
a better manager than he is. In the space of ten years, he has 
brought his property into such a fine state that he now receives 
an income of two hundred thousand roubles from it, instead of 
thirty thousand, as he did at first." 

" Ah, he must evidently be a most estimable man ! It will be 



TWO VERY ECCENTRIC PERSONS. 245 

extremely interesting to make his acquaintance. But bow is 
this ? That is to say, what is his family name ? " 

" Kostanzhoglo." 

" And his baptismal name and patronymic ? " 

" Konstantin Feodorovitch." 

" Konstantin Feodorovitch Kostanzhoglo! Indeed, it will be 
very interesting to make his acquaintance. It must be instruc- 
tive to know such a man." 

Platonoff took upon himself to guide Selifan, as was requi- 
site, for the coachman could hardly hold himself on his box. As 
for Petrushka, he twice tumbled from the calash like a log, so 
that it became necessary to bind him to the seat Avith a rope. 
" What a brute ! " was all that Tchitchikoff said. 

"Look! Kostanhoglo's land begins here," said Platonoft\ 
" It has quite another aspect." And in fact, all over the fields 
planted with forest-trees, the young saplings were as even and 
as straight as arrows ; behind them came another plantation of 
young trees, but a little taller; behind this rose a wood of older 
growth, and so on, the trees of each patch being taller than the 
preceding ones. Then came another strip of land, covered with 
a heavy growth of grain ; and again, in the same manner, a young 
growth of forest, succeeded by an older one. As they passed 
under the arched branches, Platonofi' exclaimed, "All these have 
grown up in eight or ten years ; with anybody else they would 
not have grown in twelve." 

" How does he manage it ? " asked our hero. 

" Oh, you must ask him. He's quite learned in all matters 
connected with the soil. He does nothing in vain. He not only 
understands the soil, but he knows what locality is required for 
each thing, and which tree should go with each grain. He makes 
everything answer three or four purposes at once. If he has a 
patch of forest, it is because, in addition to the forest as a forest, 
just so much exti'a moisture must be provided for the fields, with 
so much fertilising mould from the falling leaves, and so much 
shade. When there is a drought everywhere else, there is no 
drought with him : when the crops all round about him fail, they 
don't fail with him. It's a pity that I know so little about these 
things, that I cannot explain them fully to you; however, my 
brother-in-law resorts to such strange devices, he is called a 
sorcerer. You will see some very curious things on his estate. 
But it's a bore, all the same." 

" He really must be a remarkable man," thought Tchitchikofi". 
" It is most lamentable that this young man cannot give me an 
idea of what he does. I feel very anxious to see him." 



246 DEAD SOULS. 

At length the village made its appearance. It resembled a 
town : a multitude of cahins were scattered about on three 
hillocks, crowned with churches, and everywhere hemmed in 
with ricks of hay, and stacks of grain. " Yes," thought 
Tchitchikoff, " it is evident that a man of importance lives here." 

The cabins were all well built ; the streets were level ; when- 
ever a telyega appeared, it was stout and quite new ; the 
moujiks whom one encountered had an intelligent expression ; 
the horned cattle were of choice kinds ; even the serfs' pigs 
looked like noblemen. It was evident that here dwelt peasants, 
who, as the song says, dug with silver spades. Here there 
were no English parks or lawns, arbours and bridges, with all 
sorts of devices : but, after the ancient fashion, an avenue lined 
with granaries and labourers' cottages ran almost up to the very 
manor-house, so that all that was going on round about might 
be under the master's eye. To complete the arrangement, a 
lofty tower of observation, which commanded a view for fifteen 
versts in every direction, rose upon the roof, not for the sake 
of ornament, but for the express purpose of overlooking the 
labourers in the distant fields. Under the porch they were met 
by some well-trained servants, very different indeed from the 
drunken Petrushka, and far more prepossessing, although they 
did not wear swallow-tailed coats, but simple cossack tunics of 
blue homespun. 

The mistress of the house also ran out to the porch. She 
was as fresh as blood and milk, as beautiful as God's day, and 
as like Platonofl' as one drop of water is like another ; with this 
difference, however, that she was not at all languid, like he was, 
but merry and talkative. 

" "Welcome, brother ! How glad|I am that you have come ! " 
she said. " Konstantin is not at home, but he will soon be here." 

"Where is he ? " 

" He has business in the village with some traders," she re- 
plied, conducting the visitors into the house. 

Tchitchikoff gazed with curiosity at the abode of this re- 
markable man, who possessed an income of two hundred 
thousand roubles, and he hoped that the aspect of the place 
would give him some inkling as to the owner's qualities. But 
it was impossible to draw any inferences. The rooms were 
simple, even bare : there were no frescoes, whatnots, or costly 
porcelain, or even books. In short, everything indicated that 
the owner did not spend much of his time within four walls ; 
he plainly preferred being in his fields, and did not scheme in 
sybaritic fashion, before the fire, and in a comfortable arm-chair 



TWO VERY ECCENTRIC PERSONS. 247 

facing the chimney ; his plans indeed entered his brain on the 
field of action ; and upon being formed within him, were at once 
put into practice. The only signs of work which Tchitchikoff 
could perceive in the rooms were connected with housewifery. 
Upon the tables and chairs there lay some clean linden-wood 
planks, with the petals of flowers strewed upon them, drying. 

"What rubbish have you spread out here, sister?" asked 
Platonoff. 

"Rubbish indeed!" exclaimed the hostess. "This is the 
very best remedy for fever. We cured all the peasants with it 
last year. And that is for cordials, and that for preserves. 
You always laugh at my preserves and pickles, but when you 
taste them, you praise them highly." 

Platonoff approached the piano, and began to turn over the 
music. " Heavens ! how old-fashioned ! " said he. " Come, 
now, are not you ashamed of yourself, sister ? " 

" Really, you must forgive me, brother. I have had no time 
to devote to music for a long while past. I have a little 
daughter, eight years old, whom I must educate. Must I con- 
sign her to the hands of a foreign governess simply for the sake 
of obtaining time to devote myself to music ? No : you must 
excuse me, brother ; that is something which I shall not do." 

" How tiresome you have grown, sister," said the brother, as 
he walked to the Avindow. " Ah ! here he is ! He's coming ! 
he's coming ! " exclaimed Platonoff. 

Tchitchikofl' also hastened to the window. A man of forty, 
sunburnt and alert, was approaching the porch. He wore a 
knitted cap and a camel's-hair surtout. Evidently he paid no 
heed to his attire. Two men of the lower classes were walking 
beside him, cap in hand, engaged in discussing something with 
him. One of them was a simple peasant, the other some sort 
of itinerant wholesale trader and adventurer, wearing a blue 
sibirka * As they all came to a halt near the porch, their con- 
versation became audible inside the house. 

"This is what you had better do," said Kostanzhoglo, — 
" purchase your liberty from your master. I will lend you the 
money to do so if you like. You can work it out with me after- 
wards." 

" No : why purchase our freedom ? You take us rather. 
Everyone learns sense from you. The difficulty now is, that 
we can't take care of ourselves. The distillers supply such 
liquors that one glass makes a fellow's stomach ache as though 

* A long coat without any opening behind. 



248 DEAD SOULS. 

he had drunk a pailful. Before one succeeds in recovering 
one's senses, one has squandered everything. There are so 
many snares set for poor people nowadays. The Evil One, 
who rules the world — by Heavens ! — has so arranged matters 
that everything throws a man off the track. People have 
begun to make tobacco, and all sorts of things. But what is to 
be done, Konstantin Feodorovitch ? A man is a man in the 
sight of God: you can't deny that." 

"Listen: the point lies in this. You will not have full 
freedom, even with me. It is true that you will receive every- 
thing at the start, including a cow and a horse ; but the point 
of the matter is, that my demands on the peasant are greater 
than they are anywhere else. With me, work is the first con- 
sideration. I do not allow idleness either in myself or in anyone 
else. I work like an ox, and I make my peasants work. All 
sorts of rubbish get into a man's head through lack of work. 
So just you fellows consider this at the war,* and discuss it 
among yourselves." 

" We have already discussed it, Konstantin Feodorovitch. 
The elders have already expressed their minds. ' Ah ! ' they 
say, * every one of Konstantin's peasants is rich. And your 
priests are so compassionate, whereas ours don't attend to their 
duties ; indeed no one can be buried properly.' " 

"All the same, go and talk it over." 

" I obey you, Konstantin Feodorovitch." 

"Do me the favour to reduce your price, Konstantin 
Feodorovitch," now said the itinerant dealer in the blue sibirka, 
who was walking on the landowner's other side. 

" I have already given you my answer. I am not fond of 
chaffering. I am not like the other landowners, whom you 
can beggar because of the pressure of their debts. I know you 
all, you see. You keep lists of all those who are in debt. 
What is there to be surprised at in that ? A man who is re- 
duced to extremities sells you goods at half-price. But what is 
your money to me ? My things can wait three years if necessary. 
I have no payments to make to the Advance Bank." 

" That's true, Konstantin Feodorovitch. And it is simply 
because I wish to have some dealings with you, and not from 
any motives of greed, that I ask you this. But please accept 
three thousand roubles as earnest-money." The sharper there- 
upon pulled a bundle of dirty bank-notes from his bosom, 

* The communal council of village elders. 



TWO VERY ECCENTRIC PERSONS. 249 

Kostanzboglo took them with the greatest coolness, and thrust 
them into the rear pocket of his surtout. 

" Hm ! " thought Tchitchikoff : "just as though the packet 
were a pocket-handkerchief ! " 

Kostanzhoglo now made his appearance at the door of the 
drawing-room. Tchitchikofi' was struck by the bronzed hue of 
his face, the stiflness of his dark hair, which here and there was 
turning grey prematurely, by the alert expression of his eyes, 
and by a certain bilious stamp of fiery Southern origin. Kos- 
tanzhoglo himself did not know whence his forefathers had 
come. He did not trouble himself about his genealogy, how- 
ever, deeming it a matter of no importance, superfluous as 
regards domestic management. He was not of pure Kussian 
origin, that is certain, as his features proved the contrary ; 
however, he was thoroughly convinced that he was a Muscovite, 
and he was acquainted with no other tongue than Eussian. 

Platonofl' introduced Tchitchikoft" to him, and they kissed 
each other, according to custom. 

"To cure myself of hypochondria, Konstantin, I have hit 
upon the plan of travelling through the different provinces," 
said Platonoff ; " and Pavel Ivanovitch here, has proposed that 
I should accompany him, in order to get rid of my low 
spirits." 

" Very good," said Kostanzhoglo. " What localities do you 
propose to visit ? " he added, turning to Tchitchikoff. 

" I must confess," answered Tchitchikoff, inclining his head 
courteously on one side, and at the same time caressing the arm 
of his chair, "I must confess that just at present I am travel- 
ling not so much on my own account as on the business of some- 
one else. General Betrishtchefl", my intimate friend, and I may 
say, my benefactor, has asked me to communicate with his 
relatives. There are several of them to be seen ; but on the 
other hand, I am also travelling on my own account, so to 
speak : for, not to mention the advantage which is to be derived 
from travelling as regards health, I like to view the world, and 
study the habits of the people. Travel forms a living book, a 
science in itself, so to speak." 

" Yes, it does not do anyone harm to take a peep at various 
quarters." 

" That remark is capitally put : yes, as a matter of fact, it 
does no harm. You see things which you would not have 
otherwise seen : you meet people whom you would not have 
met. Conversation with some of them is worth its weight in 
gold. Here now, for example, a case presents itself. I appeal 



250 DEAD SOULS. 

to you, most respected Konstantin Feodorovitch! teach me, 
instruct me, slake my thirst for knowledge of the truth ! I 
await your sweet words, as I might await manna ! " 

" But with what object ? In what should I instruct you ? " 
asked Kostanzhoglo in confusion. " I got my own poor educa- 
tion at very small cost." 

• "Your wisdom, wisdom, most respected sir, — the wisdom 
needful to manage a country estate ; the wisdom to extract an 
assured income from it ; to acquire not imaginary but real 
property, thus fulfilling all the duties of a citizen, and winning 
the reverence of one's fellow-countrymen." 

" Well, do you know what ? " said Kostanzhoglo, gazing 
thoughtfully at our hero. " Eemain a day with me. I will show 
you all the arrangements, and tell you all about everything. 
You will see that there is no wisdom about it." 

"Yes, do stay," said Mrs. Kostanzhoglo; and turning to her 
brother, she added, " Stay, brother : what need is there for you 
to hurry away ? " 

"It's all the same to me. How shall it be, Pavel Ivano- 
vitch ? " 

" I accept, with the greatest pleasure. But here is the diffi- 
culty : I must call upon a relative of Greneral Betrishtcheff'Sj a 
certain Colonel Koshkareff." 

" Why, he's a lunatic ! " 

" Yes, he is demented. I know that. And of my own accord 
I would not go to see him, but General Betrishtcheff, my intimate 
friend and benefactor, so to speak, wants me to do so." 

" In that case, do you know what you had better do ? " said 
Kostanzhoglo. It's not ten versts to his place. My carriage is 
standing harnessed. Go and see him immediately. You will 
be able to get back here in time for tea." 

"An excellent idea!" exclaimed Tchitchikoff, seizing his 
hat. 

The host's j)roIi/otJia-''- was brought to the door, and in half an 
hour it had borne him to the colonel's village. The whole 
place was in disorder : buildings in process of construction and 
of reconstruction, heaps of refuse, bricks and lumber, encumbered 
all the streets. The houses looked like courts of justice. On 
one was the inscription. Depot of Agricultural Implements, in 
gilt letters ; on another, Chief Ofiice for Accounts ; farther on, 
Committee of Rural Affairs ; and again. School for the Higher 
Education of the Peasantry. In short, the deuce only knows 
what was not there. 

* A variety of drozhky, of circular shape. 



TWO VERY ECCENTRIC PERSONS. 251 

Our hero fouud the colonel at a desk in the office for accounts, 
with a pen between his teeth. Koshkarefi' received him with 
special aflability. Judging from appearances, he was an ex- 
tremely amiable and very approachable man ; he began to 
tell our hero of the great labour it had cost him to bring his 
estate to its present flourishing condition. He complained 
bitterly of the difficulty of making the moujik understand that 
there are such things as luxury, art, and skill ; that up to that 
time he had not been able to make the women wear corsets, 
whereas in Germany, where he had spent some time with his 
regiment in the year '14, even a miller's daughter he 
knew had been able to play upon the piano. However, 
in spite of all the opposition of the party of ignorance, he 
still hoped to attain his object, and so enlighten the peasan- 
try of his village, that they would be seen reading a book on 
lightning conductors, or the " Georgics " of Virgil, or making a 
chemical analysis of the soil, as they followed the plough. 

" Dear me, did anyone ever hear of such a thing ! " thought 
Tchitchikofl". Why to this day, I have not even read ' The 
Duchess of La Valliere ' through ! I never have any time." 

The colonel had a great deal more to say about promoting the 
welfare of the people. Costume possessed great significance 
with him. He offered to wager his own head that if only one- 
half of the Russian peasantry could be induced to don German 
trousers, the sciences would progress, trade would flourish, and 
gold remain permanently in Russia. 

Tchitchikoff listened and listened, looking the colonel 
steadily in the eye the while, and he finally said to himself, 
" Evidently enough, there's no need to stand on ceremony with 
this man." Thereupon, he immediately stated that he wished 
to buy some serfs, obtain the necessary deeds of sale, and fulfil 
all the formalities. 

" So far as I can judge by your words," said the colonel, in 
a good deal of confusion, " this is a request you present, is it 
not?" 

" Exactly so." 

"In that case, put it in writing. It will go to the commis- 
sion for the reception of reports, which after having passed 
opinion upon it, will send it to me. From me it will go to the 
committee of rural aflairs. Thence, after sundry amendments, 
it will pass to the superintendent. The superintendent will 
then communicate with my secretary." 

" Good gracious ! " exclaimed Tchitchikofl". " God knows how 



252 DEAD SOULS. 

long it will take to transact the business in writing ! You see, 
the souls I want are — after a fashion — dead." 

" Very good. Then write that the souls are, after a fashion, 
dead." 

" But how can dead souls be written down ? It is impossible 
to inscribe them like that, for although they are dead, it must 
appear as though they were alive." 

" Good. Then write, 'but it is necessary, or it is requisite, 
it is desirable, it is demanded,' in fact, anything you like, 'that 
they shall appear as though alive.' This cannot be transacted 
in any other way than by writing. England, and even Napo- 
leon has set the example. I will detail a commissioner, who 
will conduct you to all the departments." 

He touched a bell. A man, the secretary, made his appearance. 

"Send me a commissioner!" The commissioner, something 
between a peasant and an official, also appeared. " This man 
here will conduct you to all these indispensable places." So 
said the colonel. 

Tchitchikoif decided to accompany the commissioner and 
inspect the indispensable departments out of curiosity. The 
department for the reception of reports existed as yet only 
upon the sign-board, and the doors were locked. The head of 
affairs here had been transferred to the newly instituted com- 
mittee of rural building. His place had at first been supplied 
by the colonel's valet, named Berezovsky ; who also had since 
been ordered off to the committee on construction. They 
knocked at the department of rural aflairs — and there things 
were undergoing re-arrangement ; however, finally they routed 
out a drunken man, but got no satisfaction from him. "Every- 
thing is in a nonsensical state here," remarked the commissioner 
to Tchitchikofi", at last. "The master is being led by the nose. 
The building commission rules everything ; it tears everybody 
from his business, and sends him wherever it sees fit. And 
the only profit in the whole aftair is derived by the commission." 
This fellow Avas evidently displeased with the commission. 

When Tchitchikofi" glanced around him, he saw building going 
on everywhere. He did not care to push his inspection farther. 
On his return, he told the colonel that things were in a bad 
way, that there was nothing but confusion in the place, that it 
was impossible to make head or tail of it, and that there was no 
commission for the reception of reports at all, simply a desperate 
set of thieves. 

The colonel boiled over with righteous indignation, pressing 
Tchitchikoft's hand warmly in token of his gratitude. Then, 
immediately snatching up pen and paper, he wrote down eight 



TWO VERY ECCENTRIC PERSONS. 253 

questions of the most searching nature : On what ground had 
the building commission disposed, in this high-handed manner, 
of ofBcials who were not subject to its authority '? How could 
the director-in-chief permit the superintendent of works to set 
out on an investigation without having first resigned his post ? 
And how could the committee of rural affairs view with indiffer- 
ence the fact that the commission for the reception of reports 
and petitions was not in existence at all ? 

"Now there's going to be a storm ! " thought Tchitchikoff, 
and he tried to take his leave. 

" No, I will not let you go," said the colonel. " My personal 
pride is touched. I will show you what a regular, organised 
course of management is like. I will intrust your business to a 
man who is worth all the rest put together. He has completed 
a university education. That's the sort of serfs that I have ! 
So as not to waste any valuable time, I beg that you will take a 
seat in my library," added the colonel, opening a side door. 
" You will find books, paper, pens, pencils, and everything you 
may require there. Make use of them, make use of them all; 
you are the master here. Culture should be free to all." 

Thus spoke Koshkarefi', as he conducted Tchitchikoff' into the 
library. This was a vast hall, lined from top to bottom with 
books. There were even some stufied animals. The books 
pertained to all branches of learning : to forestry, the rearing of 
cattle and swine, horticulture, and so on ; and there were special 
journals on every subject, such as are disseminated among sub- 
scribers, but which no one ever reads. Perceiving that 
none of these books were adapted for passing the time, Tchi- 
tchikoff' turned to another case. This was jumping from the 
frying-pan into the fire. All these were philosophical works. 
Six huge tomes presented themselves to his eyes, with the title, 
" Preliminary Introduction to the Domain of Thought ; or, The 
Theory of Universality, Correlation, and Essentiality, in its 
Application to the Conception of the Organic Origin of the 
Keciprocal Partition of Universal Productiveness." Turn the 
book over as Tchitchikoff would, on every page there occurred 
such words as "phenomenon," "development," "abstract," 
" isolation," and " conjunction," and the deuce knows Avhat 
besides. 

"This is beyond me ! " said our hero, and he turned to a 
third book-case, where all the volumes belonged to the depart- 
ment of art. Thence he drew out a bulky tome, with some 
immodest mythological pictures, and began to look them over. 
That style of picture pleases bachelors of middle age, and some- 



254 DEAD SOtJLS. 

times even laoary old men, "wlio run after ballet-dancers and 
other like spices. Having finished the inspection of this book, 
Tchitchikoif was on the point of pulling down another of the 
same description, when Colonel KoshkarefF made his appearance 
with a beaming countenance and a document in his hand. 

" It's all done, and capitally done ! The man of whom I spoke 
to you is a positive genius. For this I shall place him over 
them all, and I shall establish an entire department for him 
alone. See what a clear head he has, and how he has settled 
everything in a few minutes." 

" Now, glory to thee, Lord ! " thought Tchitchikoif, and he 
prepared to listen. 

The colonel on his side began to read : — 

" ' Entering upon the consideration of the commission in- 
trusted to me by your worship, I have the honour to report on 
it, as follows : — 

" ' 1st. The petition itself of the collegiate councillor and 
cavalier, Pavel Ivanovitch Tchitchikoif, contains a misconcep- 
tion ; for the souls he speaks of are styled dead through an 
oversight. By this designation he has probably been graciously 
pleased to indicate those who are near to death, but not dead. 
And this very designation bears witness to an empirical educa- 
tion, obtained, in all probability, in a parish school ; for the 
human soul is deathless.' 

"'He's a sharp fellow, said Colonel Koshkarefi", with satis- 
faction. " He has pricked you a little there. But confess, he 
wields a clever pen ! " 

" ' In the second place, there are no unmortgaged souls, 
either among those on the verge of death, or of any other sort, 
on the estate ; for they all are not only mortgaged a first time, 
without exception, but re-mortgaged, to the amount of one 
hundred and fifty roubles a soul. Moreover, as regards the 
small hamlet of Gurmailovka, the situation there is by no means 
clear, on account of a lawsuit now being carried on with the 
landowner, Predishtchefl', notice of which was duly published in 
' The Moscow Gazette,' of the present year. No. 42.' " 

" Then why did not you tell me so in the first place ? Why 
have you detained me with your nonsense ? " inquired Tchitchi- 
koff angrily. 

" Really, now ! Why, it was necessary that you should be 
made aware of all this in writing. A fool can perceive a thing 
unintelligently, but it must be seen intelligently." 

Tchitchikoff snatched up his cap in a rage, and ran out of the 
house, against all decorum. His coachman was standing with 



TWO VERY ECCENTRIC PERSONS. 255 

the carriage in readiness, for he knew that he must not un- 
harness the horses, as a written petition would have had to be 
presented for fodder, and an order to serve out the oats would 
only have been issued on the following day. Nevertheless, the 
colonel ran out to accompany our hero to his carriage. He even 
shook his hand warmly, pressed it to his heart, and thanked 
him for having afibrded him an opportunity of seeing how his 
oi'ganisation operated. He said that matters must be spurred 
up and kept in motion, for everything was apt to become 
drowsy, and the springs of an administration might grow rusty 
and weak. In fact, owing to this incident,. a happy thought 
had occurred to him : to institute a commission which should 
be entitled the commission of scrutiny, with power over the 
building commission, so that then no one would dare to steal 
anything in future. 

Tchitchikoff went away feeling angry and dissatisfied, and he 
reached Kostanzhoglo's house at a late hour, when the candles 
had already been lighted. 

" What has detained you so late ? " asked the host when he 
made his appearance at the doorway. 

"Yes, what have you been discussing at such length with 
the colonel"? " inquired Platonoff. 

" I have never beheld such a fool since I was born ! " said 
Tchitchikoff. 

" That's nothing," remarked Kostanzhoglo. "Koshkareffis 
a consoling phenomenon. He is useful, because in him one 
sees reflected, in a grotesque and very striking manner, the 
follies of those wiseacres, who, without knowing anything 
themselves, pretend to direct the world. He has set up offices 
and factories and schools ; and the deuce knows what he hasn't 
established ! Xo sooner have he and his fellows recovered from 
the effects of the French invasion of the year '12, than they 
must needs completely ruin themselves again. In fact, they 
have ruined themselves worse than the French ever ruined 
them ; and thus it happens that a certain Piotr Petrovitch Pye- 
tukh is regarded as a tine example of a landed proprietor," 

" Well, his property is now pledged to the Advance Bank," 
said Tchitchikoff. 

"Just so! Everything is mortgaged, everything will go to 
the bank." Having spoken thus, Kostanzhoglo began to rage 
a little. "There's Shlyapkin, too, who has setup a candle- 
factory; he has imported workmen from London, and has be- 
come a dealer in candles ! A respectable business, truly, for a 
landowner ! He also visits manufacturers and factory owners, 



256 DEAD SOULS. 

and lie sets up spinning machines, and makes calico for tlie 
liussies and the women of the town." 

"But you have factories yourself," remarked Tchitchikoff. 

" And who established them ? They established themselves. 
The wool accumulated : there was no way of getting it off my 
bands, and I began to weave cloth, coarse cloth, merely suited 
to moujiks, my moujiks. However, some of it is purchased 
from me at the fairs because of its cheapness. For six years in 
succession, too, the fishermen piled up fish-scales on my shores. 
And what was to be done with them ? So I began to boil them 
down into glue, and I have made forty thousand roubles out of 
them. And that's the way everything goes with me." 

" What a devil of a fellow ! " thought Tchitchikoff, staring at 
his host with all his eyes. " What claws he has for raking in 
money ! " 

"And then, I have undertaken these things from another 
motive. I have drawn together a number of labourers, who 
Avould otherwise have died of hunger. It is a famine year, and 
all through the fault of the manufacturers, who neglected to sow 
crops. Many factories have accumulated on my hands, my 
friend. A new one springs up every year, simply because scraps 
and refuse of some kind or other have accumulated. Only con- 
sider domestic economy attentively. Every sort of rubbish will 
yield a revenue." 

" This is astounding ! So, rubbish jjields a revenue," said 
Tchitchikoff 

However, Kostanzhoglo now broke into a bitter speech about 
what he called the Don Quixotism of the Russian character, 
and Tchitchikoff, who wanted to catechise his host in detail as 
to the manner in which every sort of rubbish could be made to 
produce, a revenue, had no chance to interpolate a word. 

" People imagine," said the host, " that they are enlightening 
the peasant. Just make him rich first, and a good manager, 
and the rest will be his business. But nowadays everybody is 
more stupid than it is possible for one to conceive. Just see 
what these scribblers write now ! They put forth some little 
book, and all men dart upon it. And this is what they say : 
' The peasant leads a very simple, a too simple, drowsy life. He 
must be made acquainted with articles of luxury : he must be 
made to feel the need of a higher civilisation.' They them- 
selves, thanks to this luxury, have become rags, and not men, 
contracting the deuce knows what diseases. There is no longer 
a little boy of eighteen who has not already tried everything ; 
he has no teeth left him, and he's as bald as a bladder. So now 



TWO VERY ECCENTRIC PERSONS. 257 

they want to infect the peasants also. But, thank God ! there is 
one healthy class stillleft among us which has not been initiated 
into all the vices. For this we simply owe thanks to God. The 
agriculturist is the most honourable man among us. "Why do 
we meddle with him ? Would to God that all men were like 
the husbandman." 

" So you assume that agriculture is the most profitable call- 
ing to which a man can devote himself? " inquired Tchitchikoflf. 

" It is the most legitimate, but not the most profitable. ' Thou 
shalt till the earth in the sweat of thy brow,' it has been said. 
There's nothing surprising about that. It has already been 
proved, by the experience of ages, that man is more moral, 
purer, nobler, more lofty, when engaged in the profession of 
agriculture. I do not say, refrain from engaging in anything 
else, but let agriculture lie at the foundation — that's all. Fac- 
tories will arise of themselves, and factories of a legitimate sort, 
just what is needed here, under the hand of a man who is him- 
self on the spot. Not the sort of factories where all manner of 
vile means are resorted to, and the wretched populace is demo- 
ralised and depraved. Say what you like about luxuries, I shall 
not establish on my estate any of those things which create a 
demand for tobacco or sugar, for instance. If vice must enter 
the world, it shan't be through my instrumentality. I will be 
righteous in the sight of God. I have been living among the 
people for twelve years, and I know what's what." 

" The most wonderful thing to me is your statement, that by 
judicious management profit may be derived from scraps and 
remnants, and that every sort of refuse will give an income," said 
Tchitchikofi". " For instance, if I became a landed proprietor, 
and wanted to enrich myself in a brief space of time, so that I 
might fulfil the highest duties of a citizen, in what manner 
should I set about it ? " 

*' How ought you to proceed, in order to become wealthy ? " 
replied Kostanzhoglo. ** Ah, that's the point ! " 

" Come, let us go to supper ! " said the hostess, rising from 
the sofa, and stepping into the middle of the room, where she 
wrapped her shivering limbs in a shawl. 

Tchitchikoflf sprang from his chair with almost the same agility 
that a military man would have shown, flew to the hostess with 
the suave expression of a delicate statesman on his countenance, 
oflTered her his arm with a flourish, and escorted her through 
two apartments to the dining-room, where the soup-tureen was 
already standing on the table, with its cover off", and exhaling 
an agreeable odour of fresh herbs and spring vegetables. They 

B 



258 DEAD SOULS. 

all seated themselves at table. The servants quickly placed all the 
courses on the table, in covered dishes, together M'ith every- 
thing that -was necessary, and then quitted the room. Kostanz- 
hoglo did not like to have the servants listen to the conversa- 
tion of their superiors, and still less to have them stare at him 
while he was engaged in eating. 

*' You were speaking of becoming a landowner," he said at 
last, addressing our hero. , " Well, there is the estate of my neigh- 
bour, Khlobuyoff, for sale. Why don't you buy it ? It is a 
splendid chance ; and I would pay him forty thousand roubles 
for it on the spot, if he demanded^ that sum." 

"H'm!" said Tchitchitoff, and he fell into thought. "But 
why," he at last inquired, with some hesitation, " why do you 
not purchase it yourself? " 

" One must know how to draw the line somewhere. I have 
a great many worries connected with my present estate, with- 
out assuming any more responsibilities. Moreover, the noble- 
men of the district are crying out against me, asserting that 
I have taken advantage of their need and bankrupt condition — 
indeed, that I am buying up all the land for a song, and so I 
have grown tired of it all." 

" How inclined people are to evil speaking ! " said Tchitchi- 
koff. 

" Particularly in our province : it is something you can't 
conceive. They never mention me otherwise than as a niggard 
and a miser of the first water. They make excuses for them- 
selves on every point. ' I certainly have been a spendthrift,' 
one of them will say ; ' but that was because I lived in 
accordance with the higher requirements of life, and encouraged 
tradesmen, that is to say, rascals. Of course, I might have 
lived like a hog, as that Kostanzhoglo does.' " 

" I should like to be such a hog ! " said Tchitchikojff. 

" And all that is so much falsehood and nonsense. The 
higher requirements, forsooth ! Why are they so lauded ? 
These fellows buy books, indeed, but then they don't read 
them. The matter ends in cards and champagne. And all this 
comes of my not giving them dinners, and lending them money. 
I don't give them dinners, simply because it would bore me to 
entertain them : I am not accustomed to parties. But if any 
one will come and eat what I eat myself — take pot-luck with me, 
as the saying goes — I am very glad to have him. I don't lend 
money ! What nonsense. Come to me in a case of absolute 
need, and tell me the circumstances, and how you propose to 
use my money ; if I see from your words, that you will employ 



TAVO VERY ECCENTRIC PERSONS. 259 

it sensibly, and that the money will clearly be of advantage to 
you, I won't refuse ; I won't even ask you for interest." 

" This must be taken into consideration," thought Tchitchi- 
koff. 

" And I seldom, if ever, refuse," proceeded Kostanzhoglo. 
" But fling my money to the winds, I won't. You must 
excuse my not doing that. Deuce take the man who does it ! 
He will spend his cash on dinners for his mistress, or he will 
furnish his house in a mad style, or he will get up some sort of 
a jubilee in memory of the fact that he has lived his life in vain. 
There's no use in lending such a man money ! " 

Here Kostanzhoglo spat, and came near uttering some violent 
and indelicate words in the presence of his wife. The gloomy 
tint of hypochondria darkened his countenance. Vertical and 
horizontal wrinkles, the witnesses of the wrathful movement 
of his spleen which had been so excited, collected on his brow. 
" Permit me, honoured sir, to again recall you to the subject 
of our interrupted conversation," said Tchitchikoflf, drinking 
another glass of wine. " Suppose, for instance, that I were to 
acquire the property which you were so good as to mention ; 
then how much time would be required for me to become 
sufficiently wealthy to — " 

" If you wish," interrupted Kostanzhoglo gruffly and abruptly, 
being still in an irritated frame of mind, " If you wish to grow 
rich in a short space of time, you will never become wealthy at 
all ; but if you wish to enrich yourself, without concerning 
yourself as to the time required, you can speedily become rich. 
Yes," went on Kostanzhoglo, still abruptly, as though he were 
personally incensed with TchitchikofF, "it is necessary to feel 
a love for work : without that, nothing can be accomplished. 
You must love the management of your estate. And, believe 
me, it is not at all wearisome. People have invented a fiction 
to the eftect that it is dull in the country. I should die of 
dulness if I were to pass a single day in the city, as people do 
pass their days there, in those stupid clubs and inns and 
theatres. Fools ! idiots ! asses they are ! The manager of an 
estate has no time to be dull. Look at the yearly round of 
work. See how, even before the advent of spring, ever3'thing 
is already on the watch ; there is the preparation of the seeds, 
the sorting, the measuring of the grain in the barns, and 
the drying. Everything is scanned beforehand, and everything 
reckoned up. And when the ice breaks up, and the streams 
pour down, and the earth warms up, then the spade does its 
work in vegetable garden and orchard, and the plough and 



260 DEAD SOULS. 

harrow perform theirs in the fields ; and then come planting and 
sowing. Well, the future harvest is sown, the blessing of the 
world is sown, the food of millions is sown ! And then follows 
the haymaking. And then summer has arrived. All at once 
the reaping is in full swing : the wheat has come up after the 
rye, and next the barley and the oats. Everything is seething ; 
it is impossible to lose a minute. If you had twenty eyes, there 
would be work for all of them. And when everything is done — • 
the grain carried to the threshing-floor, and stored in the 
granaries — then begins the autumn ploughing of the stubble, the 
preparing of the storehouses for the winter, the ricks and the 
cattle-pens to see to, and, at the same time, all the women's 
work. And then in the winter, the threshing and the removal of 
the grain to the granaries ; the felling and sawing of the trees 
in the forest ; the conveyance of bricks and timber for building 
operations in the spring. You go to the mill, you go to the 
factory, you go to inspect the workmen's quarters, you go to the 
peasants' cabins to see how they are getting on there. Yes, for 
my part, if a carpenter handles his axe well, I am ready to 
stand and watch him for two hours, such a cheering eflect does 
work produce upon me. But if you can also see with what 
object all this is being done, how everything about you is mul- 
tiplying and increasLQg, bearing increase and income — 'Well, I 
cannot express what takes place in your spirit then. And it is 
not because your money is uicreasing — money is nothing in 
itself — but because all this is the work of your own hands, 
because j^ou see that you are the source of it all ; that you are 
the creator, and that from you, as from some magician, good 
and abundance are showered upon all. Now, where else will you 
find me such another enjoyment ? " said Kostanzhoglo ; and, 
as he raised his face, the wrinkles disappeared from it. He was 
radiant, like an emperor on the day of his solemn coronation, 
and flashes of light seemed to radiate from his countenance. 
'* Yes, in the whole world, you will not find any other such 
pleasure. Just in this does man imitate God. God prescribed 
to himself the task of creation as the loftiest of all enjoyments. 
And he demands the same thing from man, in order that man, 
like his Creator, may distribute happiness around him. And yet 
this is called a tiresome task ! " 

Tchitchikoflf listened to his host's melodious speech as to the 
song of heavenly birds. His mouth watered. His very eyes 
grew moist, and expressed beatitude. 

'* Konstantin, it is time to go," said the mistress of the house, 
rising from the table. They all rose up. Tchitchikoff ofiered 



TWO VERY ECCENTRIC PERSONS. 261 

his arm with a flourish, and conducted his hostess back to the 
drawing-room ; but his movements now lacked their former 
agility, for his thoughts were now all bent on practical matters. 

"You may say what you like, a country life is tiresome all 
the same," said Platonoff, as he walked behind them. 

" My guest isn't a stupid man," meanwhile thought the host. 
" He is attentive, and cautious of speech." 

When they had all settled themselves in a comfortable little 
room opposite a balcony, with a glass door leading into the 
garden, and had gazed dreamily at the stars shining above the 
crests of the trees in the sleeping garden, Tchitchikoff expe- 
rienced an agreeable sensation, such as he had not felt for a 
long time, exactly as though his native roof had at length, after 
his prolonged wanderings, received him once more, and as if, to 
crown all, he had accomplished everything which he had desired, 
and had cast aside his pilgrim's staff, saying. Enough ! Such 
wonderful eflect had his host's discourse produced upon him. 

That night when he went to bed he did not sleep. His 
thoughts kept him awake. He was meditating how he might 
become the owner, not of a fanciful, but of a real, estate. If he 
could only mortgage those dead souls, and acquire some pro- 
perty which was not in cloudland ! He already beheld himself 
actively engaged in directing things, just as Kostanzhoglo had 
instructed him — swiftly, and yet cautiously, watching every- 
thing with his own eyes, making himself personally acquainted 
with all the peasants, devoting himself solely to labour and 
to the management of affairs. He tasted, in anticipation, the 
pleasure which he would experience when he had instituted 
strict order, and when all the springs of the domestic machine 
were acting vigorously, propelling one another. Work pressed ; 
and just as flour is rapidly ground from the grain in a mill, so 
cash, hard cash, was being continually extracted from all sorts 
of scraps and refuse. His host was the first man in all Russia 
for whom he had experienced a personal respect. So far, he 
had respected a man either for his high official rank or for his 
possessions. Never yet had he respected any man for his mind 
alone. Kostanzhoglo was the first, and our hero understood that 
he could not play any tricks on him. Another project, moreover, 
engrossed his thoughts — that of purchasing Khlobuyoff's estate. 
He had ten thousand roubles of his own, and he thought of trying 
to borrow fifteen thousand from Kostanzhoglo, since the latter 
had already declared that he was ready to assist any man who 
was desirous of becoming wealthy. The rest he might require 
must be obtained in some other way, either by mortgage or 



262 DEAD SOULS. 

simply by making KUobuyoff wait. That was possible, too, 
surely. And be pondered upon the subject for a long time. At 
length Morpheus, who had held all the household in his em- 
brace for fully four hours already, clasped Tchitchikoff also to 
his bosom. He fell into a sound sleep and began to snore. 



V CHAPTER XV. 






U i^ J LUXURY AND INDIGENCE. 

\t^ 1 "On the following day everything was arranged in the best pos- 
^ r^J~ sible manner. Kostanzhoglo gladly lent our hero ten thousand 
roubles, without interest or security — on his simple note of 
hand: so ready, indeed, was he to assist anyone on the road 
to wealth. He showed Tchitchikoff all over his establishment. 
With him, not a single moment was lost ; noting ran to waste ; 
not the slightest irregularity took place among his villagers. 
There was not a sluggard anywhere. Intelligence and content- 
ment beamed upon the faces of his peasants. Everything was 
so simply and sensibly arranged that it worked itself. The alter- 
nations of forest and tilled land could not fail to astonish Tchi- 
tchikoff. How much this man had accomplished, without making 
any noise in the world, without composing projects or treatises 
about the manner of insuring the well-being of all mankind ! 
And how useless is the life of the man who dwells in towns, 
who frequents taverns and dances over polished floors ! At this 
thought Tchitchikoff"s desire to become a landowner grew 
stronger than ever. 

Kostanzhoglo himself offered to accompany our hero to 
Khlobuyoff's in order to inspect the estate with him. Tchi- 
tchikoff" was in fine spirits. After a hearty breakfast, they set 
out, all three, including Platonoff, riding in Pavel Ivanovitch's 
calash ; the host's empty prolyotka ''•' followed them. The 
dog, Yarb, ran on in front, chasing the birds from the road. 
Kostanzhoglo's forests and tilled fields stretched for fifteen 
versts on both sides of the highway. As soon as their limit 
was reached, everything assumed a very different aspect : the 
grain was sickly, and stumps took the place of trees. Khlo- 
buyoff''s little village seemed deserted, in spite of its fine situa- 
* A circular drozliky. 



LUXURY AND INDIGENCE. 263 

tion. The new stone mansion, which had remained in an 
unfinished state and uninhabited for several years, stood out 
most prominently of all ; and behind it was the little old manor- 
house, which was still used as a residence. They found the 
master of the place unkempt and yawning, having but just 
awoke. He was forty years of age ; his neckerchief was knotted 
on one side ; there was a patch on his surtout, and there were 
holes in his shoes. 

• God knows what his delight at seeing his visitors was : it 
was as though he had beheld some brothers, from whom he had 
been separated for a very long time. 

" Konstantin Feodorovitch ! Platon Mikhailovitch ! You have 
honoured me with a visit! " he exclaimed. "Let me rub my 
eyes. I really thought that no one was ever coming to see me 
again. Everybody Hies from me, as from the plague : they 
think that I want to try to borrow money from them. Oh, it's 
hard, hard, Konstantin Feodorovitch ! I see that I alone am 
to blame. But what am I to do ? The pig has earned his 
pig's fate. Excuse me, gentlemen, for receiving you in such a 
costume : my boots, as you see, are full of holes. What refresh- 
ment will you take ? " 

" Do not stand on ceremony. We have come on business. 
Here is a purchaser for your estate, Pavel Ivanovitch Tchi- 
tchikoff,'' said Kostanzhoglo. 

"I am heartily glad to make your acquaintance. Allow me 
to shake hands with you." 

Tchitchikolf gave him both his hands. 

" I should very much like to show you the estate, which is 
worthy of your attention, Pavel Ivanovitch. But permit me to 
inquire, gentlemen, whether you have dined ? " 

" Yes, yes," said Kostanzhoglo, desirous of dismissing the 
subject. " We will not trespass on your hospitality, and we are 
going back directly." 

"In that case, let us start," said Khlobuyoff, taking up his 
cap. " Let us go and inspect my disorder and thriftlessness." 

The guests put on their caps, and all set out on foot to survey 
the village. Almost every street was lined on both sides with 
wretched huts, the tiny, shattered windows of which were filled 
up with foot-cloths.* 

" Yes, let us go and inspect my disorder and thriftlessness," 
repeated Khlobuyoff. " Of course, it is as well for you that you 
have dined. Will you believe it, Konstantin Feodorovitch? 

* The long strips of cloth which peasants wind about thcii- feet in place 
of stockings. 



264 BEAD SOULS. 

there is not a single chicken in the house, to such straits have 
I come ! " 

He sighed ; and, as though sensible that he would meet with 
but little sympathy from Konstantin Feodorovitch, he took Pia- 
tonoff's arm, and pressing it close to his breast, he walked on in 
advance with him. Kostanzhoglo and Tchitchikoff remained 
behind, and, linking arms, followed the other pair at a dis- 
tance. 

" It's hard, Platon Mikhailovitch, it's hard ! " said Khlobuyoflf 
to Platonoflf. " You cannot conceive how hard it is. No money, 
no food, no shoes ! These are surely words in an unknown 
tongue to you. All this would be but a trifle were I but young 
and alone. But when all these misfortunes attack you in your 
old age, when you have a wife and five children by your side, 
then you grow sad involuntarily, you grow sad." 

" Well, and if you were to sell your estate, wouldn't that set 
3'ou right ? " 

" Set me right indeed ! " exclaimed Khlobuyoff, with a wave 
of the hand. " Everything must go to pay my debts, and there 
won't be a thousand roubles left for me." 

" Then what are you going to do ? " 

" God knows ! " 

" Why do you not undertake something to extricate yourself 
from such a position ? " 

" What should I undertake ? " 

" Get some employment." 

** I was a governmental secretary. But what sort of a place 
would they give me now ? How am I to accept some paltry 
remuneration of five hundred roubles or so ? I have a wife and 
five children, remember." 

" Get a situation as overseer." 

" And who would intrust his property to me ? I have ruined 
my own." 

" Well, but if hunger and death threaten, something must be 
done. I will ask my brother whether he cannot get you some 
employment through someone in the city." 

'' No, Platon Mikhailovitch," replied Khlobuyofi", sighing, and 
pressing his hand warmly. " I am good for nothing now. I have 
become decrepit before my time, and my loins ache from my old 
sins, and I have rheumatism in my shoulders. Of what use am 
I '? And besides, a great many lucrative places have already 
been established for the benefit of useless people. God forbid 
that the taxes of the poorer classes should be increased on my 
account ! " 



LUXURY AND INDIGENCE. 265 

" Behold the fruits of dissipation ! " thought Platonoff, " This 
is worse than my heedlessness." 

In the meantime, while they had been thus conversing, Kos- 
tanzhoglo, as he walked behind them with Tchitchikoff", was 
quite beside himself with rage. 

" Just see," said Kostanzhoglo, pointing with his finger, *' to 
what a state of misery he has reduced his peasants ! Why, 
there are neither carts nor horses here. If murrain breaks out 
a man ought not to consider his own property. He ought to sell 
all his own belongings at once, and provide the peasant with 
cattle, in order that he may not be left for a single day without 
the means of pursuing his work. However, things cannot be 
remedied for years here. The peasants have become lazy, dis- 
sipated drunkards. If you ever allow them to remain without 
work for even one year, you ruin them for ever ; they grow used 
to rags and a vagabond life. And what land ! Look at the land ! " 
he said, pointing to the fields, which soon made their appear- 
ance behind the cabins. " They are all water-meadows. I 
could raise flax, and make five thousand roubles out of that 
alone. I could plant beets, and get four thousand out of them. 
And look yonder ; on the slope a forest formerly arose : there is 
nothing now. He has planted no grain — -I know that. And 
look at those valleys. I would raise such a forest there that 
the crows could not fly to the top of it. The idea of flinging 
away such treasures of land ! And if there was nothing to 
plough with, he might have cultivated the vegetable garden with 
a spade : he might have undertaken that garden himself. Take 
the spade in your own hand ; make your wife, your children, 
your servants do it too ; if you must die beasts, at all events 
die over your work. You will then at least die in the fulfilment 
of your duty ; and if not, you can eat yourself for dinner like a 
pig ! " So saying, Kostanzhoglo spat, and his splenetic temper 
darkened his brow with a gloomy cloud. 

When they advanced farther, and stood upon the crest of a 
declivity overgrown with cytisus, and looked down upon the 
gleaming bends of the river, first at the distant valley, where a 
portion of General Betrishtchefi"s house peeped forth from the 
encircling forest, and then at the wooded hill beyond, veiled in 
the blue mist of distance, Tchitchikoft' suddenly said, " If some 
nice groves were planted here, the village would transcend every- 
thing in the world in beauty." 

" So you are a lover of tine prospects ! " said Kostanzhoglo, 
with a quick, stern glance at him. " Look here ! if you take to 
running after views, you will be left with no bread. Look out 



266 DEAD SOULS. 

for your fields, and not for beauty. Beauty will come of itself. 
Let it serve you for an example, that the best and handsomest 
cities are those where each man has built according to his own 
convenience and taste. Those which have been built by rule 
are nothing but a collection of barracks. Away with beauty ! 
Look to practical results ! " 

"It's a pity that it is necessary to wait so long ; I should so 
like to see everything in the proper condition." 

"Patience ! Work for a few years : plant, sow, till the soil, 
without a moment's rest. It is hard, very hard ; but later on, 
when the earth has been well turned over^ it will begin to assist 
you of itself, just as though it were a machine. Yes, my dear 
felloAv, over and above your seventy hands or so, seven hundred 
invisible ones will begin to toil. Everything will be increased 
tenfold. I never move a finger now— everything runs by itself. 
Yes, Nature loves patience ; that is the law which God himself 
has prescribed to her." 

" When I listen to you, I am conscious of a great access of 
force. My courage rises," said Tchitchikoff". 

" That's a nice way to plough land ! " exclaimed Kostanz- 
hoglo, with a keen feeling of indignation, pointing to the slope. 
" I can't stay here any longer ; it's death to me to gaze upon 
such disorder and desolation ! You can come to an understand- 
ing with him now, without my assistance. Get this treasure out 
of that fool's hands as speedily as possible. He is only dis- 
honouring the gifts of God." So saying, Kostanzhoglo, who was 
already clouded by the bilious disposition of his perturbed spirit, 
took leave of Tchitchikoff, and, having overtaken their host, 
began to say farewell to him. 

" I beseech you, Konstantin Feodorovitch," said the astonished 
host ; " you have only just arrived, and yet you are going al- 
ready! " 

" I can't stay. I have an imperative engagement at home," 
replied Kostanzhoglo. Whereupon he hastily took leave, seated 
himself in his carriage, and drove off". 

It seemed as though Khlobuyoff understood the cause of his 
departure. 

"Konstantin Feodorovitch cannot stand it," said he; "it is 
not pleasant for such a manager as he is to look at this dis- 
order. Believe me, Pavel Ivanovitch, I did not even plant grain 
this year. As sure as I am an honest man, I had no seed, not 
to mention the fact that there were no means of ploughing. They 
say that your brother is a capital manager, Platon Mikhailo- 
vitcli ; but Konstantin Feodorovitch — well, he's a Napoleon in 



LUXURY AND INDIGENCE. 26? 

his own liDe. In truth, I often think, why are so much brains 
put into one head ? Why couldn't I at least have one little bit 
in my own stupid noddle '? Look to yourselves, gentlemen ; 
walk cautiously over the bridge lest you tumble into the pool. 
I ordered the planks to be repaired last spring. What I feel 
most compunction about is my poor peasants ; I perceive the 
need of an example for them, but what sort of an example am I 
for anyone ? And what am I to do '? I cannot be exacting and 
strict. How am I to inculcate order in them, when I am so dis- 
orderly myself '? Take them under your charge, Pavel Ivano- 
vitch. I should have given them their liberty long ago, but that 
it would have been of disadvantage to anyone. I see that it is 
necessaiy first of all td' bring them to such a state that they 
shall know how to order their own lives. It is requisite that a 
man should be stern and just, and live among them, in order to 
produce an efi'ect on them by his own example and his unweary- 
ing activity. I perceive, from my own case, that the Kussian 
man cannot get along without someone to urge him forwards : 
without that he falls dozing, and decays." 

" It is strange," said Platonoti', " that a Russian should be 
capable of thus falling into drowsiness and decay ; that, unless 
you watch the man of the lower classes with all your eyes, he 
turns out a drunkard and good-for-nothing ! " 

" That arises from the lack of civilisation," remarked Tchit- 
chikotf. 

" God knows what is the cause of it ! " went on Khlobuyoff, 
" Surely, we are civilised. I have attended lectures at the uni- 
versity, and what have I to show for being at the university ? 
Come, now, what have I learned ? They not only did not teach 
me to live an orderly life, but they even tried their best to teach 
me the art of spending as much money as possible on every 
new refinement or comfort, and they made me acquainted with 
.IS many matters as possible which require the expenditure of 
money. Why was I educated in so senseless a way ? Yes, and 
look at my comrades. Two or three of them derived some real 
advantage from it, and possibly because they would have been 
sensible in any case ; but the rest only endeavoured to learn 
things which ruin the health and entice money from one's 
pocket. Ting, we always select in civilisation the things which 
are the wor st of all ; we grasp the surface, but not the substance. , 
Ko, Pavel Ivanovitch, we do hot understand how to live, but for 
what cause, by Heaven ! I cannot say." 

" There must be some cause," remarked Tchitchikoff. 

Poor Khlobuyoft' sighed deeply several times, and proceeded 



268 DEAD SOtJLS. 

as follows : " It sometimes seems to me that the Eussian is a 
lost being. He wants to do everything, and can do nothing. 
He keeps thinking that he will begin a new life on the morrow, 
but nothing comes of it. On that very same evening he over- 
feeds himself, so that he can do nothing but wink, and cannot 
manage his tongue. He sits and stares at everyone like an owl. 
Truly, we are all just like that." 

"Yes," said TchitchikolF, laughing: "such things do 
happen." 

" Let us take still another turn in this direction," said Khlo- 
buyoff. "Let us now inspect the pey^ants' fields." 

The views on their way back were ^fe same. Slatternly dis- 
order appeared everywhere. EverytHmg was neglected and 
abandoned. An angry woman in a dirty gown was beating a 
poor little girl to death, and swearing by all the devils in every 
direction. Farther on, two peasant men were observing the 
wrath of the drunken woman with stoical indifference. One of 
them was scratching his back while the other was yawning. 
Yawns were even visible on the buildings, whose roofs were 
gaping. Platonoff, too, on his side, yawned as he gazed at 
them. " My future property, these peasants," thought Tchitchi- 
koff. "Hole on hole, and patch on patch." And, in fact, on 
the top of one cabin lay a gate instead of a roof; the decaying 
walls were propped up with poles, which had been removed 
from the master's barns. It was evident that Trishkin's method of 
dealing with his coat prevailed in the domestic management. The 
people here cut off the cuffs and the tails to patch the elbows.* 

" Your estate is not in an enviable condition," remarked 
Tchitchikoff, as they entered the owner's house. 

There they were struck by the commingling of poverty with 
glittering trifles, mementoes of past luxury. A figure of Shak- 
speare sat on the inkstand ; on the table there lay a dainty ivory 
scratchback. The visitors were received by the mistress of the 
house, dressed tastefully and in the latest fashion, who talked 
about the city, and the theatre which had been started there. 
The four children also were prettily dressed and in good taste, 
and they even had a governess. However, this made them all 
the more sad to contemplate, for they were thin and sickly. It 
would have been better had they been clothed in striped petti- 
coats and simple blouses, and had they been allowed to run 
about the yard by themselves, and had in no wise differed from 
the robust village children. The hostess was soon joined by a 

* An allusion to a popular fable by Kruiloff, in -which he describes a 
man's method of repairing his coat. 



LUXURY AND INDIGENCE. 269 

lady guest — some empty-headed chatterer — and, finally, the 
ladies retired to their own apartments, whereupon, the children 
running after them, the men were left alone. 

" What is your price for the estate now ? " inquired Tchitchi- 
koff. "I ask this, I tell you frankly, in order to learn your 
ultimate, your lowest price; for the property is in a worse con- 
dition than I had anticipated," 

" In the very worst, Pavel Ivanovitch," answered Khlobuyofi". 
"And that is not all. I will not conceal from you the additional 
fact that, out of the hundred souls which are set down on the 
census list, only fifty are among the living. That is the result 
of the cholera among us. Some others have taken their leave 
without passports ; so that they, too, may be reckoned among 
the dead. If they were to be demanded by the mortgagees, 
the whole estate would pass into the courts. Therefore I will 
only ask j-ou thirty thousand roubles." 

Tchitchikofi" began to meditate and to bargain. 

"Mercy on us! Thirty thousand! For such an estate — 
thirty thousand roubles ! Come, take twenty-five thousand." 

Platonoft' felt ashamed for his /riend. " Conclude the sale, 
Pavel Ivanovitch," he said. " You can get that much for the 
property at any time. If you will not give him thirty thousand, 
my brother and I will join together and purchase it." 

"Veiygood, I agree," said Tchitchikofi' in alarm. "Very 
good ; but only on condition that half of the money shall not be 
paid for a year." 

" No, Pavel Ivanovitch, I cannot consider that for a moment. 
Give me half on the spot, and the remainder in a fortnight. 
The bank would lend me that amount, if that were only enough 
tc satisfy the leeches." 

"Really? Well, well," said Tchitchikofi". "I have only 
ten thousand upon me at present." In point of fact, he was 
lying : he had twenty thousand in all, not counting the money 
which Kostanzhoglo had lent him. But it pained him to part 
with so much at one time. 

" No, thank you, Pavel Ivanovitch ! I tell you that it is 
absolutely necessary that I should have fifteen thousand." 

" Well, only five thousand will be lacking. I do not know 
where to get them on the spur of the moment." 

" I will lend you five thousand to-morrow," said Platonofi". 

" Will you really ? " exclaimed Tchitchikofi, thinking to him- 
self, " Well, this is very opportune that he should lend me that 
money." They then struck hands on the bargain. Tchitchikofi"s 
dressing-case was brought from the calash, and ten thousand 



270 DEAD SOULS. 

roubles were taken from it, which amount Tchitchikoff handed 
to Khlobuyoif as earnest money. He promised to bring him the 
remaining five thousand roubles on the morrow ; that is to say, 
he promised. But he meant to bring only three thousand or so, 
after a lapse of two or three days, and, in fact, to put it off still 
longer if possible. Pavel Ivanovitch particularly disliked to let 
any money pass out of his hands. Even in a case of extreme 
necessity, it always seemed to him better to surrender the 
money to-morrow than to-day. That is to say, he proceeded as 
we all do. We all find it agreeable to put off a creditor. Let 
him polish his spine in the anteroom for a while. Just as 
though he could not wait ! A"Vhat business is it of ours that 
every hour may be precious to him, and that his affairs may 
suffer from it ? Come to-morrow, my good fellow ; I. have no 
time to attend to you to-day. 

** Where shall you live in future ? " Platonofi" now inquired 
of Khlobuyoff. " Have you any other village ?" 

" None at all ; I shall go to town. I have a little house 
there. It makes no difference. It would have been necessary 
to do so in any case, for the sake of the children. They must 
have masters in the law of God, in music and dancing. It is 
impossible to procure them in the village, of course." 

" Not a morsel of bread, and yet his children must learn to 
dance ! " thought Tchitchikoff. 

" This is queer," thought Platonoff. 

" But we must wet down the contract in some way," said 
Khlobuyoff". " Hey, there, Kiriushka ! fetch a bottle of cham- 
pagne, my good fellow." 

" There's not a bit of bread, but there is champagne," thought 
Tchitchikoff'. 

Platonoff did not know what to think. 

Khlobuyoff" had provided himself with champagne, in case of 
an emergency. He had sent to town — what was to be done ? 
Kvas is not sold in the shops on credit, and yet a man must 
drink. However, a Frenchman who had recently come from St. 
Petersburg with some wines allowed everyone to take them on 
credit. There was nothing else for Khlobuyoff to do but to buy 
some champagne from him mthout paying for it. 

This champagne was now brought. They drank three glasses 
of it, and grew meriy. Khlobuyoff unbent ; he became charming 
and sociable, and overflowed with anecdotes and wit. He dis- 
played in his conversation so much knowledge of men and 
the world, he had observed many things so well and faithfully, 
he depicted his fellow-landowners so aptly and skilfully in a 



LUXURY AND INDIGENCE. 271 

few words, he so clearly perceived the errors and failings of 
them all, he knew so thoroughly the history of the ruined ones 
• — the why and the how of their decay — he knew how to 
describe their habits with so much originality and ability, that 
both of his hearers were enchanted with his discourse, and felt 
inclined to pronounce him an extremely clever man. 

" I am astonished," said Tchitchikoif, " that you, with such 
ability, can hit upon no plans or resources." 

" I have some plans," replied Ivhlobuyoff, and immediately he 
overwhelmed them with a whole mountain of projects. Everyone 
of these was so senseless, so extraordinary, so little derived from 
any acquaintance with men and with the Avorld, that all hishearers 
could do was to shrug their shoulders and say, " Good heavens! 
what an immeasurable gulf exists between the knowledge of 
men and the world and the art of making use of that know- 
ledge ! " Everything was founded on the immediate procuring 
from some quart-er or another of a sum of one or two hundred 
thousand roubles. Then, it seemed to Khlobuyoff, everything 
would come right, and his estate would be managed as it 
should be ; his income might be quadrupled, all damage might be 
repaired, and he would be placed in a position to pay his debts; 
and he concluded his speech thus : " But what do you advise 
me to do ? There is not, no, there is not in existence, a philan- 
thropist who could make up his mind to advance me two hun- 
dred, or even one hundred, thousand roubles as a loan. Plainly, 
God wills it not." 

"The idea," thought Tchitchikoff, "that God should send 
that fool two hundred thousand roubles ! " 

" 1 have an aunt, though, who is worth three millions," pur- 
sued Khlobuyoff. "She is a pious old woman, and gives money 
to churches and monasteries ; but she is slow in assisting her 
nearest relatives. She's an aunt of the ancient pattern, well 
worth inspection. She has four hundred canaries, and her 
poodle-dogs, parasites, and servants are such as are not to be 
seen elsewhere nowadays. The youngest of her servants must 
be sixty years old, though she always addresses him as ' Hey, 
there, boy ! ' If a guest does not behave to suit her, she 
orders the viands to be carried past him at dinner. And it is 
done : that's what she is like ! " 
Platonoflf burst into a laugh. 

" What is her name, and where does she live?" inquired 
Tchitchikoff. 

" She lives in our town. Her name is Alexandra Ivanovna 
Khajiasarova." " ' 



272 DEAD SOULS. 

" Why do not you appeal to her ? " asked Platonoff, with 
sympathy. "It seems to me that, if she could realise the 
condition of your family, she would not refuse you help." 

"Well, no; she would. She is rather strong-minded ; indeed, 
she's a flinty old lady, Platon Mikhailovitch ! And she has 
plenty of other courtiers to hang about her without me. 
There's one man who aspires to the governorship. He has 
claimed relationship with her, and is trying to get hold of her 
fortune. God be with him ! perhaps he may succeed." 

" The fool ! " thought Tchitchikoff. " I myself would wait 
upon such an aunt as that, just as a nurse waits upon a 
child ! " 

" What dry work talking is ! " said Khlobuyoff. ' Hey, 
there, Kiriushka ! fetch another bottle of champagne." 

" No, no ; I shall not drink any more," said Platonoff. 

"Nor I," added Tchitchikoff; and they both declined in a 
very decided manner. 

" Well, then, at least promise to visit me in town. I give 
a dinner to our city ofl&cials on the 8th of July." 

" Good gracious ! " exclaimed Platonoff. "A dinner in this 
state of affairs, when you are utterly ruined ! " 

" What am I to do ? I can't help it. It is my duty," 
answered Khlobuyoff. " They have entertained me." 

Platonoff" opened his eyes to their fullest extent. Up to that 
moment he had not been aware that there exist in the cities 
and towns of Russia certain wise individuals whose lives are an 
absolutely unsolvable problem. It seems as though an individual 
of this class were ruined ; he is head over ears in debt ; he has 
no property whatever, and yet he gives a dinner, and all his 
guests say that it is the last, that their host will be carried off 
to prison on the morrow. Ten years elapse, and the wise man 
is still in existence, he is still more deeply in debt than before, 
and is still giving a dinner ; and the guests, as usual, think it 
will be the last, and again feel convinced that the morrow 
will see their host in prison. 

Khlobuyoff's house in town presented a remarkable spectacle. 
One day the pope, clad in his vestments, would be celebrating 
a prayer service ; and on the morrow some French actors would 
be holding a rehearsal there. On one day not a crumb of 
bread was to be found in the place ; on the following, there was 
a hospitable reception of artists and painters, and magnificent 
presents for everybody. Sometimes such very embarrassing 
intervals occurred, that anyone in Khlobuyoff's place would have 
hung or shot himself but he was saved from such a course by 



LUXURY AND INDIGENCE. 273 

a religious turn of mind, which in him was blended in some 
queer fashion with a dissipated life. 

At these bitter and difficult moments he perused the lives of 
the saints and penitents, who had schooled their minds to soar 
above misfortune. His soul became very tender at such times: 
he grew gentle of spirit, and his eyes filled with tears. He 
prayed; and strange to say, some unexpected succour nearly 
always arrived from some quarter or other : either some one of 
his old friends remembered him, and sent him money, or some 
passing stranger lady having heard his history by accident, with 
the impulsive generosity characteristic of the feminine heart, 
sent him a handsome present, or rendered him a service in 
some quarter of which he never heard. Then he piously ac- 
knowledged the boundless mercy of providence, had a service 
of prayer celebrated out of gratitude, and began his life of 
dissipation afresh. 

"I'm sorry for him, I really am," said Platonoflf to Tchitchi- 
koft", as they were driving away, after having taken leave of him. 
" He's the Prodigal Son ! " replied Tchitchikoff. " Such people 
deserve no pity." 

And they both soon ceased to think of him — Platonofi", because 
he was accustomed to gaze on all things and people languidly 
and sleepily. His heart suffered at the sight of suffering, but 
the impression which was left on his soul was never a profound 
one. Besides, after the lapse of a few minutes he no more 
thought of Khlobuyoff, as he no longer thought of himself. 
Tchitcjiikoff did not think of Khlobuyoff, because all his thoughts 
were seriously pre-occupied with his purchase. Consider it as 
he might, turn it on whatever side he would, he perceived that 
the pui'chase was an advantageous one in any case. He might 
be able to mortgage it. He might contrive so as to mortgage 
merely the dead and fugitive serfs. He might arrange so that 
all the, best land could be first sold piecemeal, and the estate 
mortgaged all the same afterwards. He might also make 
arrangements to cultivate the property himself, and become a 
proprietor after the pattern of Kostanzhoglo, availing himself 
of the latter's advice, as his neighbour and benefactor. He might 
moreover proceed in such a manner as to sell the estate to pri- 
vate persons — that is of course in case he did not wish to under- 
take the care of it himself — thus merely retaining for himself the 
deceased and fugitive serfs. Then another means of profit pre- 
sented itself to his mind : he might abandon this region entirely, 
and not pay Kostanzhoglo the money which he had borrowed 
from him. Strange thought ! Not that Tchitchikoff entertained 



274 DEAD SOULS. 

it, but it suddenly presented itself to his mind mocking and 
laughing and winking at him. A shameless hussy of a thought ! 
An unruly creature, forsooth! 

• Our hero felt content — content because he was now a landed 
proprietor, not in fancy, but in reality : a proprietor who had 
land and appurtenances and peasants — peasants who were not 
fictions, not creatures of the imagination, but actual persons. 
And by degrees he began to sway about, and to rub his hands, 
and to wink at himself, and to blow some march through his 
fist, placed to his lips as though it had been a trumpet ; and he 
even uttered a few encouraging words aloud, as well as some 
nicknames addressed to himself, such as " My little bull-dog," 
and " My plump little chicken." But recalling the fact that he 
was not alone, he suddenly ceased, and endeavoured by some 
means to check the ill-timed outburst of his rapture ; and when 
Platonoff, taking some of our hero's noise for fragments of a 
remark addressed to him, inquired, " What is it ? " he re- 
plied, " Nothing." 

" !■ :cp ! " at last shouted Platonoff to the coachman. 

Tchitchikoff glanced about him, and perceived that they had, 
for a lon^^ time, been driving through a magnificent grove. The 
trunks of the beech-trees and the aspens, gleaming like a snowy 
palisade, rose in light and graceful outlines against the back- 
ground formed by the tender green of the newly unfolded foli- 
age. The nightingales were trilling loudly in rivalry. The 
wood-tulips gleamed yellow amid the grass. Our hero could 
not account to himself for being in this beautiful place, when he 
had so recently been in the midst of naked fields. Out from 
among the trees peeped a church of white stone. At the end of 
the road, too, a gentleman made his appearance, and advanced 
to meet them : he wore a leather cap with a peak, and carried 
a long dry stick in his hand. A hound of English breed, with 
long, slender legs, ran on before him. 

"Ah! here's my brother," said Platonofi". "Stop, coach- 
man!" and then he descended from the calash: Tchitchikoft' 
did the same. The dogs had already succeeded in licking each 
other over. Lively, slender-legged Azor licked Yarb on the 
nose, then he licked Platonofi''s hand, then leaped on Tcbitchi- 
koflf and licked him on the ear. 

The brothers embraced. 

''Ah! pray, Platon, how have you been treating me ? " said 
the second brother, whose name was Vasiliy. 

" What do you mean ? " answered Platon indifierently. 

" AVhat, indeed ! Not a sound or a syllable from you for 



LUXURY AND INDIGENCE. 275 

three days ! Pyetukh's groom brought your horse home. * He 
has gone off with some gentleman,' he reported. Now, if you 
had only said one word as to where and why, and for how long 
a time you were going ! But no ! Pray, brother, how can you 
behave so ? And God knows what things I have been fancying 
all these days ! " 

" Well, what is to be done about it ? I forgot," answered 
Platon. " We Avent to Konstantin Feodorovitch's. He salutes 
you, and our sister also greets you. Pavel Ivanovitch, let me 
introduce you : my brother. Vasiliy ; brother Vasiliy, this is 
Pavel Ivanovitch Tchitchikoft'." The men thus invited to mutual 
acquaintance shook hands and took off their caps. 

" Who can this Tchitchikoff be?" thought brother Vasiliy. 
"Brother Platon is not very choice in his acquaintances." He 
scrutinized Tchitchikoff as closely as politeness would permit, 
and perceived that our hero was a very respectable-looking 
person. 

Tchitchikoff also stared, as much as propriety allowed, at 
brother Vasiliy, and perceived that the latter was shorter of 
stature than Platon, that his hair was darker, and that his face 
was far from being as handsome, but that thei'e was much more 
life and animation, more heartfelt kindness in his features. It 
was evident that he was less given to dreaming. However, to 
this Pavel Ivanovitch paid little heed. 

" I have made up my mind, Vasya, to travel through Holy 
Russia with Pavel Ivanovitch. Perhaps that will cure me of 
my hypochondria." 

" How could you make up your mind so quickly ? " said 
brother Vasiliy, taken aback ; and he came near adding, " and 
go off with a man whom you see for the first time, and who may 
be a worthless fellow, and the Devil knows who '? " Quite in- 
credulous, he glanced askance at Tchitchikoff, and observed his 
remarkable respectability. 

They turned into a gateway on the right. The courtyard was 
old-fashioned : the house also was old-fashioned, of a sort which 
is not built now, with sheds beneath the lofty roof. Two gigantic 
lime-trees grew in the middle of the yard, and covered nearly 
half of it with shade. Beneath them stood several wooden 
benches. Syringas and wild cherry-trees in blossom surrounded 
the place, covering the walls completely with their flowers and 
leaves. The manor-house was almost wholly concealed : only 
the doors and windows peered prettily out beneath and between 
the boughs. Through the forest-trees, straight as arrows, the 
kitchen, the storerooms, and the cellars were visible. 



276 DEAD SOULS. 

Moreover, one could hear the nightingales gaily warbling, and 
the whole grove gave hack a loud echo. A feeling of peace and 
pleasantness stole into the soul. Everything smacked of those 
untroubled times when men lived in amity, and when all was 
simple and plain. Brother Vasiliy invited TchitchikoiF to take 
a seat. They all sat down on the benches under the lime- 
trees. 

A lad of seventeen, in a handsome blouse of pink cotton, 
brought some decanters filled with all sorts of fruit kvas, of 
various colours, some thick like butter, others foaming like 
carbonated lemonade, and placed them before the gentlemen. 
After setting the decanters on the table, he picked up a spade 
which was leaning against a tree, and went ofi" to the garden. 
All the servants of the Platonoff brothers, like those of their 
brother-in-law, Kostanzhoglo, were gardeners ; or, to speak 
more accurately, all the house-servants took turns at garden 
duties. 

Brother Vasiliy insisted that servants were not a separate 
class; thati if needed, one could entirely dispense with them; 
that everybody was capable of handing things, and that it was not 
necessary to appoint certain people to do so ; that the Eussian 
is a fine, alert felloAV, and no sluggard, so long as he goes about 
in blouse and peasant coat ; but that as soon as he dons a 
foreign surtout he instantly becomes awkward, dull, lazy ; 
no longer changes bis shirt ; entirely ceases to take baths ; 
sleeps in his coat, and beneath it raises a crop of foreign fleas, 
and an innumerable multitude of other insects. And on this 
point, he may have been right. In Platonoff" village the people 
were dressed in a particularly dainty manner : the head-dresses 
of the women were covered with gold, and the sleeves of their 
blouses were made of the borders of genuine Turkish shawls. 

''Won't you take some refreshment ? " said brother Vasiliy 
to Tchitchikoff", pointing to the decanters. " These are various 
kinds of kvas, for which our house has long been celebrated." 

Tchitchikoff" poured out a glass from the first decanter ; it 
was mead, such as he had drunk in Poland in days gone by ; it 
sparkled like champagne, and there was so much gas in it that 
it leapt from his mouth into his nose. "Nectar!" said he. 
Then he drank a glassful from a second decanter. Its contents 
were even better than those of the first. 

"That's a liquor, that's a liquor worth drinking!" said 
Tchitchikoff". "I may say that I have drunk the very best 
fruit wine at your brother-in-law, Konstantin Feodorovitch's, 
nd the very best of kvas at your house." 



LUXURY AND INDIGENCE. 277 

" But we have fruit wine also : my sister made this. In what 
direction do you propose traveUing ? " asked brother Vasihy. 

"I am travelling," answered Tchitchikofl*, swaying lightly on 
the bench, and stroking his knee, " not so much on my own 
account as on the business of others. General Betrishtcheff, 
my intimate friend, and I may even say my benefactor, has 
requested me to notify his relatives of his daughter's marriage. 
Relatives are relatives, of course : but I am also travelling on 
my own account, so to speak ; for, not to mention the bene- 
fitting of health, travelling is, so to speak, a book in itself, and 
it is a second education to see the world and the difierent sorts 
of people." 

Brother Vasiliy fell into thought. " This man speaks rather 
rhetorically, yet there is some truth in what he says," thought 
he. After a brief silence he turned to Platon : "I begin to think, 
Platon, that travelling may really enliven you. There is no- 
thing the matter with j-ou but spiritual lethargy. You have 
simply fallen asleep, and that not out of satiety or weariness, 
but from the lack of vivid impressions and sensations. I am in 
precisely the contrary condition. I should be very glad not to 
feel things so acutely, and not to take everything which happens 
so much to heart." 

" You seemingly like to take things to heart," replied Platon. 
" You search out disquiet, and manufacture troubles for 
yourself." 

*' Why should I manufacture them, when something disagree- 
able is lying in wait at every step ?" said Vasiliy. "Have you 
heard of the trick that Lyeuitzuin has played us during your 
absence '? He has seized the bit of wild land where we celebrate 
the red hill. In the first place, I will not surrender that land 
for any money whatever. My peasants celebrate the Krasnaya 
Gorka* there every spring, and all the memories of the village 

* With the first week after Easter commences the festival of the 
Krasnaya Gorka, " the red or little bright hill," the term referring to the 
red colour of the Easter eggs, to the brightness of the spring, and the 
name " little hill" being given to it because it was originally held or in- 
augurated on some high place. It lasts from Low Sunday till the end of 
June, and its chief feature is the khororocl — the circling dance attended by 
choral song. The chief singer on these occasions is a woman, who holds 
in her hands a round loaf and a red egg, each an emblem of the sun. 
Turning her face and hands towards the east, she begins one of these 
choral songs, which is then taken up by the chorus ; and in many places 
this is attended or followed by the destruction of the figure of death or 
winter. Many of the songs are addressed to the goddess of love, the 
presiding genius of the season, or at least bear reference to her influence ; 



278 DEAD SOULS. 

are bound up with it : in my eyes, a custom is a sacred thing, 
and I am ready to make any sacrifice for its sake," 

" He does not know that, and that is the reason why he has 
seized the land," said Platon. *' He is a new-comer ; he has 
only just arrived from Petersburg ; things must be explained 
and made clear to him." 

" He knows, he knows perfectly well. I sent him woi'd, but 
he replied impertinently." 

" You will have to go to him yourself, and explain matters. 
Talk it over with him yourself." 

" No, indeed ! He puts on too many airs altogether. I will 
not go near him. Go yourself, if you like." 

" I would go were it not for the fact that I have nothing to do 
with the management of affairs. He might mislead and cheat 
me." 

" I will go, if you think proper," said Tchitchikoff. 

Vasiliy glanced at our hero and thought, ** This man must 
be very fond of travelling ! " 

" Only tell me what sort of a person this Lyenitzuin is," 
pursued Tchitchikoff, " and the scope of the matter."""" 

" I am ashamed to impose so unpleasant a commission on 
you. In my opinion, the man is a worthless fellow ; he belongs 
to the petty landed nobility of our government ; he has served 
his time in Petersburg, having there married some one's ille- 
gitimate daughter, and acquired a great opinion of himself. He 
sets the fashion. But people do not live in an utterly stupid 
way with us. The fashion is no ukaz to our minds, and Peters- 
burg is not the church." 

" Exactly," said Tchitchikoff; " and what is the point of the 
business ? " 

" He needs some land, you see. And I would have let him 
take some other plot for nothing, but not this wild strip. How- 
ever, he's a quarrelsome fellow, and he thinks that I am 
frightened." 

" In my opinion, it would be better to talk the matter over. 
Perhaps you will not repent of it if you intrust the matter to me. 
General Betrishtcheff also — " 

" But I am ashamed that you should be obliged to talk with 
such a man." 

" Never mind that ; to-morrow morning I will call upon him, 
and everything will be settled to your satisfaction. 1 am sure 
of it." 

and ia some places it is customary to sing tbem under the windows of 
newly married couples. {W. E. y. Ralston's Sonffs of the Russian People, 
p. 221.) 



LUXURY AND INDIGENCE. 279 

On the next day Tchitchikoff called upon Lyenitzuin in a 
neighbourly way, and informed him that he had purchased 
KhlobuyofF's estate. Lyenitzuin and Khlobuyoff were relatives, 
and our hero speedily guessed that chance had brought him to 
the residence of the man who was desirous of securing the civil- 
governorship of the town, so as to be near the aunt with the 
three millions of roubles. He had always known how to ingra- 
tiate himself Avith her. He was offered a much higher post, he 
said, but he preferred to remain near the dear relative who had 
treated him so kindly since his infancy. 

" That is a noble sentiment," said Pavel Ivanovitch. 

Our hero greatly pleased Lyenitzuin, who considered that he 
had a very intelligent look. Moreover, Tchitchikoff showed 
himself very respectful and indulgent as regards the persons they 
talked about, excepting perhaps Khlobuyoff; he also knew a 
large number of noblemen of that district and the neighbouring 
ones, and he seemed to be both a skilful business man and 
gave himself out wealthy, with large connections in society. At 
last he remarked to Lyenitzuin : 

"It is you, no doubt, who will some day inherit the fortune 
of Alexandra Ivanovna Khanassaroff, or at least the greater part 
of it." 

" Those who assert that are in the wrong," replied Lyenit- 
zuin. " I hear that she has made a will leaving the bulk of her 
fortune to the convents." 

" How shameful ! The convents are rich enough already. But 
why not prevail upon her to make a fresh will ? I can't calmly 
see you disinherited like that. I shall stay some time in the 
town and obtain an introduction to the venerable Alexandra 
Ivanovna, and if you like — to oblige you — I will insinuate to her 
that the convents are rich enough already. Why not draw up 
a fresh will, nicely put together, which she would only have to 
sign ? " 

" Oh," said Lyenitzuin ; " I'm afraid she wouldn't sign." 

" Old people are obstinate, I know," rejoined our hero. " But 
no matter ; since she is going to die, why shouldn't she be made 
to leave her property to you. Besides, it's only a name to sign ; 
and in my opinion, as she is so obstinate, why, I should get 
somebody to sign for her." 

" Hush ! hush ! One moment ! " 

Thereupon, as if a breeze had sprung up and as if Lyenitzuin 
feared a draught, he rose, drew down the blinds, pulled the cur- 
tains forward, and cast a glance into the adjoining rooms. Then 
as he closed the doors again, he contrived to lock them, no doubt 



2S0 DEAD SOULS. 

by mistake. Next he and Tchitchikoff indulged in some inti- 
mate conversation, carried on in so low a tone that not a word 
of it reached us until Lyenitzuin drew back the curtains and 
unlocked the doors, then seating himself again on the sofa 
and offering his hand to our hero, who pressed it affection- 
ately. 

Said Tchitchikoff: " Only all this must remain secret. It is 
not so much the crime itself, as the scandal it often creates 
that proves injurious." 

" That's so, that's so," returned Lyenitzuin, drooping his head 
completely on one side. 

" How delightful to encounter a similarity of opinion ! " ex- 
claimed Tchitchikoff. " I am engaged in an affah* which is both 
legal and illegal : in appearance it is illegal, in reality it is legal. 
As I need some chattels to mortgage, I do not wish to induce 
anyone to sell me anything which I might not pay for. If a 
catastrophe should occur to me, which God forbid ! it would not 
be pleasant for others ; so I have decided only to acquire sundry 
fugitive and dead souls, which have not yet been struck off the 
register, in order, at one and the same time, to benefit myself 
and to perform a deed of Christian charity by freeing the unfor- 
tunate proprietors from the necessity of paying the taxes for 
them. So we merely execute a formal deed of sale between us, 
as though living serfs were in question." 

*' But all the same, this is a very strange proceeding," thought 
Lyenitzuin; and he drew his chair back a little. "Yes, the 

transaction is, of a character " he resumed aloud, but he 

could not make up his mind to say anything further. 

" There will be no risk, for it will be kept private," repUed 
Tchitchikoff, " and, moi-eover, between honourable men " 

" But still, on the whole " 

"It is a perfectly clear transaction, and there is no trickery 
about it," said Tchitchikoff, with great frankness and directness. 
" What the nature of the business is, we have just decided ; it 
lies between honourable men, who have reached years of discre- 
tion and who are of good understanding apparently. It takes 
place in private between them." So saying, he looked the other 
in the eye with a frank and ingenuous expression. 

Clever as Lyenitzuin was, accomplished as he was in all 
methods of transacting business, he was on this occasion thrown 
quite out of his calculations ; the more so as he had contrived, 
in some remarkable manner, to entangle himself in his own net. 
In reality, he was not at all fitted for dishonesty. 

" This is an extraordinary afiair ! " he said to himself. "Just 



LTJXURY AND INDIGENCE. 281 

try to enter into an intimate friendship with the best of men, 
without repenting of it ! There's a puzzle for you.'' 

However, fate and circumstances seemed to favour Tchitchi- 
koflf in a special manner. Exactly as though with the object of 
rendering assistance in this difficult question, the young mistress 
of the house, Lyenitzuin's wife, entered the room at that mo- 
ment ; she was thin, pale, and short, but dressed in Petersburg 
fashion, and was extremely fond of people who were comme ilfaut. 
Behind her came a nurse, bearing in her arms her first infant, a 
pledge of the tender love of the recently wedded couple. Tchit- 
chikotF completely fascinated the Petersburg lady with his little 
skip, his agile walk, and his trick of inclining his head on one 
side ; and he captivated the baby also. 

At first the latter set up a yell, but Tchitchikoflf — by dint 
of the words "Agu, agu, darling!" by tickling it with his 
finger, and by the beauty of the carnelian seal on his watch — 
succeeded in enticing the child into his own arms. Then he 
began to toss it up to the very ceiling, thereby eliciting a pleased 
laugh, which greatly delighted its parents. But whether from 
mutual satisfaction, or from some other cause, the infant sud- 
denly misbehaved himself. 

" Oh heavens ! " exclaimed Lyenitzuin's wife : " he has com- 
pletely ruined your coat." 

Tchitchikoft' looked. The sleeve of his coat, which was quite 
new, was utterly spoiled. " I'd like to shoot you, you little 
devil ! " he said to himself in his wrath. 

The host, the hostess, and the nurse all ran for some eau-de- 
Cologne, and began to scrub the sleeve in all directions. 

" It's nothing, it's nothing, it's of no consequence whatever," 
said Tchitchikofi", endeavouring to communicate as cheerful an 
expression as possible to his countenance. "Is it possible for 
a child to spoil anything at this golden period of his existence ? " 
he repeated ; and, at the same time, he said to himself, "You 
little brute ! I wish the wolves had eaten you : that would 
suit me to a hair, you cursed little rascal ! ' ' 

This apparently trifling circumstance made the host take a 
favourable view of Tchitchikofl''s business. How could he refuse 
anything to a guest who had bestowed so many innocent ca- 
resses on the baby, and who had so magnanimously paid for 
them at the cost of his own coat ! 

" Permit me, then, to repay your service," said our hero, 
"with another one. I wish to act as mediator in your aflair 
with the Platonoft' brothers. You want some land, do you not? " 

Then Tchitchikoff entered into a long explanation as regards 



282 DEAD SOULS. 

the strip of soil which Lyenitzuin had appropriated, and he 
prevailed upon him to restore it to the Platonoffs in exchange 
for some other land. This matter being settled, Tchitchikoff 
took leave of Lyenitzuin and returned to make his report to 
Vasiliy. With his usual tactics, moreover, he prevailed upon 
the latter to sell him some dead souls ; and then, PlatonofF 
having fallen ill, so that he could not resume his travels, our 
hero set off alone, his friend Tentyotnikoff having in the mean- 
while sent hrm his britschka, which had been left with General 
Betrishtcheflf. 

Upon reaching the town he made various arrangements 
respecting the purchase of Khlobuyoff 's estate. However, in lieu 
of giving another fifteen thousand roubles in cash, he displayed 
a variety of deeds which seemed to indicate that he possessed 
large means. He wished to realise, he said, and accordingly 
ofi'ered his bill at four months' date to Khlobuyoff, who at first 
demurred to the proposal, declaring that he required ready 
money. However, as all the persons summoned to serve as 
witnesses to the deed of sale, and the officials also, spoke in 
Pavel Ivanovitch's favour, Khlobuyoff" feared lest he might 
appear unreasonable, and finally he accepted the promissory 
note and signed the deed of sale as if he had received full 
payment. 

Meanwhile Tchitchikoff" had secured, through Lyenitzuin, an 
introduction to Alexandra Ivanovna, the wealthy aunt, and he 
so ingratiated himself in her favour that at last she could do 
nothing without consulting him. Still he failed in his eff"orts to 
persuade her to make a new will. Three months, moreover, 
went by without Khlobuyoff" being paid and without Tchitchikoff" 
showing any disposition to raise a loan in view of meeting his 
promissory note. Then suddenly a report was circulated that 
Pavel Ivanovitch was negotiating the secret sale of the estate, 
and people were puzzled as to what game he could be playing. 
A traveller who, on passing through the city, dined one day 
with the colonel of police, remarked to him in the course of 
conversation, " I hear that the famous Tchitchikoff" is staying 
here. You are aware, I suppose, that he is journeying through 
Eussia, buying up all the landowners' dead serfs, with an object 
one can readily guess." This remark was repeated on all sides, 
and it finally reached the ears of the military governor, just at 
the time, too, when the latter heard that Alexandra Ivanovna, 
the wealthy lady, had died, and that seals had been affixed in 
her house to all the articles of furniture in which she might 
have secreted either any valuables or a will. People pretended 



LUXURY AND INDIGENCE. 283 

that tlie old lady's demise had only been reported forty-eight 
hours after its occurrence ; and, moreover, it was insinuated 
that our hero alone could tell in Avhat manner she had died, as 
he had been hovering around her till the very last, ordering the 
servants about as if they had been his own. 

Similar remarks are very often made when wealthy people 
die ; still, the military governor, without believing in a crime, 
considered that the reports which had reached his ears warranted 
his summoning Tchitchikofi' before him. He suspected him, at 
least, of culpable intriguing, and, wishing to try him, he ordered 
him, in genuine Russian fashion, to leave the town within 
forty-eight hours. Tchitchikoff, who had feared something 
worse, at once felt relieved ; he spoke, and spoke so well, that 
everything, even those atx'ocious reports, seemed to militate in 
his favour. He modestly called his excellency's attention to 
the fact that such an abrupt departure would not only throw 
his own affairs into confusion, but would prove extremely pre- 
judicial to the honourable people with whom he had business 
connections. Finally he was authorised to remain in the city 
as long as he pleased, but on conditions that he conducted 
himself properly, and in such a way as not to give rise to any 
more scandalous reports. 

"Prince ! " retorted our hero, "I have heard it said, and I 
believe it true, that it would be easier to stay the waters of the 
Dnieper or the Volga than the tongues of chatterers in a little 
town." 

He then came forth from this audience possessed of more 
assurance than formerly ; and he did not hide his contempt for 
the scandal-mongers who for a few hours had believed that he 
was seriously compromised. 

Soon afterwards Khlobuyoff received the fifteen thousand 
roubles remaining due to him for his estate ; and he was seen 
walking beside Tchitchikoff at the pompous funeral of the 
wealthy aunt, whose obsequies were defrayed by Lyenitzuin. 
On the day when the seals were removed from the residence of 
the deceased a will was found, and all interested parties were 
summoned by the authorities to hear it read. Lyenitzuin, de- 
tained no doubt by the cares of office, did not come until late ; 
and when the perusal of the will was over he received with cold 
dignity the congratulations of the people present. He was 
appointed universal legatee, various small legacies being be- 
queathed to Khlobuyoff, to two lady companions, a couple 
of poor cousins, and a shrine in the neighbourhood. The poor 
relations called Lyenitzuin's attention to the fact that five or six 



284 DEAD SOULS. 

coffers, a jewel case, and some sixty pieces of gold and silver 
plate were missing ; but Lyefiitzuin, upon hearing this, merely 
smiled and shrugged his shoulders. He was no doubt fully 
aware as to where the missing articles had gone. 



CHAPTEE XVI. 



TWO WILLS, A FAIR, A LAWYER, AND A HOLY MAN. 

Everything in the world has a use of its own. " Whoever de- 
sires a thing makes an effort to obtain it," says the proverb. The 
expedition through the old lady's trunks had been successfully 
achieved ; and as a result, some things had found their way into 
Tchitchikoff's dressing-case. In short, it had been wisely 
planned. Tchitchikoff had not exactly been guilty of theft, but 
he had taken advantage of circumstances. All of us have taken 
advantage at times, in one manner or another — one, of the 
forests belonging to the crown ; another, of someone's savings ; 
one man will steal from his children for the sake of some 
itinerant actress ; another, from his peasants, for the sake of 
buying furniture or equipages. What can one do, when so 
many enticements exist in the world — expensive restaurants 
with mad prices, and masquerades, and drives and dances with 
the gipsies ? Surely, one cannot always restrain one's self : 
man is not God. Thus Tchitchikoff, like a very great many 
people who are fond of every comfort, turned matters to his own 
advantage. 

Tchitchikoff ought now to have left the town, but the roads 
had become bad. In the meantime, another fair had begun in 
the town, a genuine aristocratic fair. The first one had been 
more for horses, cattle, and raw products, and divers peasant 
manufactures, purchased by drovers and by wholesale dealers. 
But now, everything which had been purchased at the Nizhego- 
rod fair, high-class wares of every description, had been brought 
here. Those raiders on the Russian purse, the French, had 
brought pomades, while French women had brought bonnets — 
those women who are Egyptian locusts, as Kostauzhoglo 
expressed it, and who, not content with devouring everything, 
leave their eggs behind them, buried in the earth. 

The bad state of the crops had detained some landowners in the 



TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AND A LAWYER. 285 

country. On the other hand, the officials who had not suffered 
from the bad crops turned out in force ; so did their wives, to 
their misfortune. Having read many of those books which have 
been disseminated of late with the object of inoculating man- 
kind with all sorts of novel requirements, they had conceived 
a most extraordinary thirst for all manner of new enjoy- 
ments. A Frenchman had opened a novel establishment, of a 
sort hitherto unheard of in that government — a pleasure- 
garden,* with a supper at what purported to be a remarkably 
low price, the half of it being allowed to remain on credit, to 
boot. This was sufficient to induce not only all the heads 
of departments, but all the clerks, to visit it, in the expec- 
tation of future bribes from petitioners. A desire to show off in 
each other's presence in the matter of horses and equipages 
sprang up. There was a great elbowing of different classes for 
the sake of diversion. In spite of the wretched weather, with 
mingled snow and rain, elegant calashes flew up and down. 
Where they all came from, God only knows, but they would not 
have done discredit to Petersburg itself. Merchants and clerks 
raised their hats adroitly, and invited the ladies to enter. 
Bearded traders in fur caps were rarely to be seen. Every- 
thing wore a European look. 

Tchitchikoff, in a new Persian dressing-gown of gold brocade, 
was lolling on a divan, and chaffering with an itinerant smuggler- 
pedlar of Jewish extraction and German accent : and before 
him lay a piece of the finest cambric, which he had purchased 
for shirts, and two cardboard boxes of the finest soap, possessed 
of the most desirable qualities. This was the very same sort of 
soap which he had formerly been in the habit of obtaining when 
employed in the custom-house at Eadziwill. It really did 
possess the property of imparting a wonderful softness and 
whiteness to the cheeks. At the very moment when he, in the 
character of a connoisseur, was making his purchases of these 
articles, which are indispensable to a well-bred man, the rumble 
of an approaching carriage became audible, together with the 
slight answering rattle of the walls and windows of the apart- 
ment, and his excellency Alexei Ivanovitch Lyenitzuin entered. 

"I submit to your excellency's judgment this cambric, 
this soap, and this cap, which I purchased yesterday," said 
Tchitchikoff, while he placed on his head a cap embroidered 
with gold and pearl beads, and felt full of dignity and grandeur 
in his character of a Persian shah. 

* A Vauxhall, literally. 



286 DEAD SOULS. 

But his excellency, without vouchsafing any reply to our 
hero, said with a troubled look, " I must have a talk with you 
on business matters." Anxiety and uneasiness were depicted 
on his countenance. The worthy merchant with a German 
accent was instantly dismissed, and they were left alone. 

"Do you know what disagreeable thing has happened ? 
Another will by that old woman, executed five years ago, has 
been found. She bequeaths half of her property to a monastery, 
and the other half, in equal shares, to her two companions." 

TchitchikoflF was taken aback. 

" But that will is — nonsense ! It signifies nothing. It is 
set aside by the second one," said he. 

" But it is not stated in the second will that the former one 
is thereby annulled." 

"That is taken for granted. The first is annulled by the 
last. This is folly. The first will is utterly void. I am well 
acquainted with the wishes of the deceased. I was with her. 
Who signed this other will ? Who were the witnesses ? " 

" It was duly witnessed in court. The witnesses were the 
ex-judge Burmiloff, and Khavanoff"." 

" That's bad," thought Tchitchikofi'. " Khavanoflf is said to 
be an honest man. As for Burmiloflf he is a venerable hypocrite, 
who reads the Apostles in church on festival days. But 
nonsense ! nonsense ! " he said aloud, and he immediately felt 
sufficient firmness to face anything. " I know better than that. 
I was present at the last moments of the dead woman's life. I 
know all about it better than anybody else. I am ready to take 
my personal oath." 

These words and his air of decision for the moment reassured 
Lyenitzuin. The latter was very much excited, and had begun 
to suspect that there might have been some sort of fraud on 
Tchitchikofi''s part in connection with the will. He now re- 
proached himself for his suspicions. Tchitchikotf's readiness to 
take his oath was a plain indication of the reverse. We do not 
know whether Pavel Ivanovitch would actually have had the 
audacity to take his oath on the Gospel ; but, at all events, he 
was audacious enough to say that he would. 

" Make yourself easy on that score," he added. " I will con- 
sult a lawyer on this matter. Nothing must be attributed to 
you. You must keep entirely clear of this affair. But I can 
stay in the town as long as it suits me." 

Tchitchikoflf immediately ordered his carriage to be brought 
to the door, and betook himself to a lawyer's. This lawyer was 
^ man of extraordinary experience. He had fallen under the 



TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AND A LAAVYER. 287 

jurisdiction of the court fifteen years previously, but be had so 
managed that it bad been utterly impossible to prevent bim 
practising his profession. Everybody was perfectly well aware 
of the fact that he had deserved transportation half a dozen 
times. He was suspected to the last degree in every quarter, 
but it was impossible to produce plain and convincing proofs. 
There really was something uncanny about him, and he might 
have been boldly proclaimed as a wizard if the history which we 
are transcribing referred to an uncivilised epoch. 

The lawyer amazed Tchitchikoft" by the coolness of his de- 
meanour and the filthiness of his dressing-gown, which presented 
a complete contrast to the handsome mahogany furniture, 
the gilt clock under a glass shade, the chandelier which peeped 
forth from the chintz cover protecting it, and all the other 
objects which surrounded him, and which bore the stamp of 
European civilisation. 

Nothing daunted, however, by the dubious appearance of the 
lawyer, Tchitchikoff explained the perplexing points of the 
matter in hand, and sketched a seductive perspective of the 
gratitude which would infallibly follow sound counsel and 
assistance. 

The jurisconsult replied to this with allusions to the transitory 
character of all earthly things, and Avith much art he allowed it 
to be understood that a stork in the heavens signified nothing 
with him providing he had a tomtit in the hand. 

There was help for it : the tomtit for the hand had to 
be provided. Then the dubious coolness of the philosopher 
suddenly vanished. He turned out to be the most good-natured 
of men, extremely communicative and agreeable in conversation, 
and not a whit inferior in cleverness to Tchitchikofl' himself. 

" Permit me to say to you, instead of entering into a long- 
winded talk, that you certainly cannot have examined the last 
will thoroughly. It assuredly contains some codicil. Get it into 
your possession as speedily as possible. Although, of course, it 
is forbidden to take such things home with one, still, if certain 

officials are appealed to in the proper way I will render 

assistance on my part." 

" I understand," thought Tchitcbikofi"; and he said, " I really 
cannot distinctly recall whether there was a codicil or not " — 
just as though he had not written the will himself. 

" The very best thing that you can do will be to look it over. 
Besides, in any case," the lawyer continued in an amiable way, 
"you must feel quite at your ease ; and you must not take alarm 
at anything, even if matters seem to be going very badly. Never 



288 DEAD SOULS. 

despair of anything under any circumstances whatever. There 
is nothing which cannot be remedied. Look at me. I am always 
tranquil. No matter what critical accusations are brought 
against me, my composure remains immovable." The face of 
the lawyer-philosopher did, in point of fact, retain a remarkably 
tranquil look, which was very re-assuring to Tchitchikoff. 

"That is, of course, a matter of the greatest moment; but 
3'ou must acknowledge, nevertheless, that occasions may arise 
of such a nature, that an attack on the part of one's enemies may 
be of such a description, and that there may occur difficult 
situations of such a sort that all composure is put to flight." 

" That is cowardice, believe me," rejoined the philosophical 
lawyer with great composure and amiability. " Only try to have 
all transactions set down on paper, and have nothing left to 
talk alone. And as soon as you perceive that the aflair is 
approaching a solution, and that it is ripe for settlement, do not 
endeavour to justify and defend yourself, but simply try to intro- 
duce some fresh issues which have no connection with the case." 

" That is with the object of doing what ? " 

" Producing confusion, producing confusion, nothing more : 
you must introduce side issues, extraneous circumstances, into 
this case, so that other people may become involved in it ; the 
object is to render the matter complicated, neither more nor 
less. And then let some freshly arrived oflicial from Petersburg 
unravel it, let him unravel it if he can ! " the sagacious lawyer 
repeated, looking Tchitchikoff straight in the eye with extra- 
ordinary satisfaction, just as a teacher contemplates a pupil 
when he is explaining to him some treacherous passage in the 
Piussian grammar. 

" And it will be as well for you to collect such items as are 
calculated to throw dust in people's eyes," said Tchitchikoff, also 
gazing with satisfaction into the eyes of the philosopher, like a 
pupil who has understood his teacher's exposition of a deceptive 
passage. 

" Such items will be provided, they will be provided. Believe 
me, the brain grows inventive by dint of frequent practice. You 
will gain a great deal by complicating matters ; and we must 
have as many officials mixed up in it as possible, and their fees 
must be handsome. In short, as many persons as possible must 
be drawn into the business. There is no necessity of sacrificing 
other people for nothing, but we must justify ourselves by means 
of them, and they must be responsible on paper. They must 
buy themselves off. There's a harvest for you ! In this manner 
you can complicate and entangle matters, so that no one can 



TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AKD A LAWYER. 289 

understand anything about them. Why am I so calm ? Because 
I know this : when my aftairs are going very badly I get every- 
one implicated in them — the governor and the vice-govei'nor, 
and the chief of police and the treasurer — I get every one of 
them involved. I know all their circumstances — just who has a 
quarrel with whom, and who is otiended with whom, and who 
wants to revenge himself on whom. Then let them extricate 
themselves if they can : others can be found to replace them. 
It is only in troubled waters that fish are caught." 

Here the philosopher-lawyer stared at Tchitchikoff with all 
his eyes, and again it was with satisfaction similar to that 
"with which a teacher expounds a treacherous passage in the 
Russian grammar to his pupil. 

"Yes, this man is truly wise," said Tchitchikoff to himself; 
and he took leave of the jurisconsult in the most amiable and 
agreeable frame of mind. 

Perfectly reassured, he flung himself with careless grace on 
the elastic cushions of his calash. Then he ordered Selifan to 
throw the hood back (he had gone to the lawyer with the hood 
raised, and even with the apron buttoned up), and assumed the 
exact attitude of a retired colonel of hussars, or of Vishnepo- 
kromoff himself, throwing one leg gracefully over the other, and 
pleasantly presenting to all who met him a face which fairly 
beamed from beneath a new silk hat, tilted somewhat on one 
side. Selifan was ordered to drive in the direction of the bazaar. 
The merchants, both those belonging to the town and the 
strangers, took off their hats respectfully as they stood at the 
doors of their shops ; and Tchitchikoff, not without dignity, 
raised his hat in return. 

Many of them were already acquainted with him ; others, 
although strangers, were captivated with the attractive appear- 
ance of a gentleman who so well understood how to bear himself, 
and they greeted him as though they knew him. The fair in the 
city of Tfuslavl had not yet come to an end : the horse and agri- 
cultural fair had closed, and that which embraced fine wares for 
gentlemen of the highest breeding had opened. The merchants 
who had arrived on wheels had made up their minds not to 
return except on runners. 

" Pray enter, sir, pray enter, sir ! " said the man at the cloth- 
shop, striking a politely affected attitude as he stood with his 
head bare, in a German surtout of Moscow make, and holding 
his hat in one hand while with two fingers of the other ho 
stroked his round, cleanly shaven chin ; at the same time dis- 
playing an expression of dainty refinement on his face. 

T 



290 DEAD SOULS. 

TcMtcliikoff entered the shop. " Show me some cloth, my 
good fellow," said he. 

The amiable merchant immediately lifted a loose board in the 
counter ; and having thus made an entrance for himself, he 
found himself inside his shop, with his back to his goods and 
his face to his customer. Then, with uncovered head and 
flourishing his hat, he saluted Tchitchikofl' once more. Then 
he put on his hat, and, bending gracefully forwards with both 
hands resting on the counter, he spoke thus : " "What sort of 
cloth, sir ? Do you prefer it of English make, or of domestic 
manufacture ? " 

"Of domestic manufacture," replied Tchitchikoflf; "but it 
must be of the best quality, of the sort called English." 

"What colours would you like to look at?" inquired the 
shopman, still swaying too and fro, with his hands still resting 
on the counter. 

" Of an olive or bottle-green tint, or else cranberry colour," 
said Tchitchikoff. 

" I may assert that you shall have the very best sort, than 
which no better is to be found except in enlightened capitals. 
Boy, fetch the cloth with number 34 upstairs. That's not it, 
my friend. No , fetch the other ! Why do you always feel 
yourself above your station, you penniless scamp ? Throw 
that here. Yes, here is the very cloth." And unfolding it from 
the other end, the shopman lifted it almost to Tchitchikofi''s 
very nose, so that our hero could not only feel its silky gloss 
with his hand, but even smell it. 

"Very good, but that is not what I want," said Tchitchikoff. 
" I have served in the custom-house service, you see, so I must 
have the very finest quality ; and it must also be of a reddish 
tint, with rather a cranberry tinge." 

" I understand, sir : what you really want is the shade which 
is now coming into fashion. I have some other cloths of the very 
best quality. I warn you that the price is high, but they are 
of the very finest quality." 

Then he climbed up to reach some cloth from a shelf. The 
piece fell down. He unrolled it with the art of a bygone age, 
and even forgot for the moment that he belonged to a later 
generation as he held it to the light, even emerging from his shop 
to do so, screwing up his eyes as he faced the light, and saying, 
" 'Tis the most exquisite shade of cloth, Navarino smoke-tint 
and flame-colour." 

The cloth was satisfactory; the price was agreed to, although 
it was with " a prefix," as the dealer declared. Then a clever 



i 



TWO WILLS, A FAIll, AND A LAWYER. 291 

tearing movement was executed with both hands. Finally it was 
enveloped in paper in the Russian fashion, with incredible swift- 
ness. The bundle was then encircled with a slender cord, 
which clasped it with a knot which palpitated with life. Next 
the cord was snipped off with some shears, and the whole placed 
in the calash. 

" Show me some black cloth," now rang out a voice in the 
shop, 

" Here's Khlobuyoff, deuce take him ! " said Tchitchikoff to 
himself, and he turned his back that he might not see the other; 
for ho considered it ill-bred on the latter's part to enter into any 
explanation with him in regard to the inheritance. But Khlo- 
buyoff had already espied him. 

"How is this, Pavel Ivanovitch ? Are you avoiding me in- 
tentionally ? I am never able to find you, although there are 
some matters which we must discuss seriously." 

" My most respected sir, my most respected sir," said Tchi- 
tchikoff, squeezing his hand, " believe me, I am extremely 
desirous of having a talk with you; but I really have no time." 
And he said to himself, " May the Devil fly away with you ! " 
when all at once, he saw Murazoff, the wealthy farmer of the 
brandy revenues, entering the shop. "Ah, my heavens, Afanaisy 
Vasilievitch! " said Tchitchikoff; "this is a fortunate encounter!" 

Then Vishnepokromoff, who entered after him, repeated, 
" Afanasiy Vasilievitch ! " And the well-bred shopman, holding 
his hat as far from his head as his arm would allow, and bend- 
ing his whole body forward, exclaimed, "Your most humble 
servant, Afanasiy Vasilievitch!" All their faces exhibited that 
dog-like servility which sinful man shows to a millionaire. 

Old Muzaroff bowed to all of them, and turned directly to 
Khlobuyoff. " Excuse me : having seen you from a distance 
entering this shop, I decided to trouble you. If you are at 
liberty, and if your way lies past my house, do me the favour 
to come in for a short time. I must speak with you." 

Khlobuyoff replied "Very well, Afanasiy Vasilievitch." 

" What very beautiful weather we are having, Afanasiy Vasi- 
lievitch," said Tchitchikoff." 

"Yes, are we not," interposed Vishnepokromoff. "It is 
quite unusual, surely." 

" Yes, sir, thank God, it is not bad. But a little rain is re 
quired to allow of sowing." 

"It is very, very much needed," responded Vishnepokro- 
moff. " And it would be well for the hunting season also." 

"Yes, a shower would do no harm, "^chimed in Tchitchikoff, 



292 DEAD SOULS. 

who did not need any rain at all ; but for some reason or otlier it 
is always pleasant to agree with a man who possesses 
millions. 

"My head simply grows dizzy," said Tchitchikoff, when 
Murazoflf went out, "at the thought that that man owns ten 
millions. It is simply incredible." 

" The thing is monstrous," s^id Yishnepokrom qff. " Capital 
ought not to be in the hands of a few.""" This fs no~w the subject 
of treatises in every country of Europe. If you have any 
money, share it with your neighbour ; entertain, give balls, in- 
dulge in beneficent luxury, which furnishes food to artisans 
and handicraftsmen." 

" I cannot understand it," said Tchitchikofi'. " Ten millions, 
and he lives like a simple moujik ! The deuce only knows 
what might be done with those ten millions ! It might be so 
employed that you would have no society lower than that of 
generals and princes." 

"Yes, sir," added the shopman. " With all Afanasiy Vasilie- 
^vitch's fine qualities, there is much that is uncnltivarteTi~a"bout 
himT" If a merchant acquires honours he is no longer a mer- 
chant : he is already after a fashion a wholesale dealer. In 
those circumstances I should feel bound to take a box at the 
theatre, and I would not marry my daughter to a simple 
colonel: no, sir, I would wed her to a general. What's a 
colonel to me ? And my dinner would be prepared by the con- 
fectioner, and not by the cook any longer." 

"Well, what's the use of talking? Pray cease all this," 
said Vishnepokromofi". " What couldn't one do with ten 
millions ? Only give me ten millions, and you would see what 
I would do ! " 

" No, no," thought Tchitchikoff : " much good you would do 
with ten millions. But if I only had ten millions, I would 
really accomplish something proper with them." 

"Ah! if I had ten millions, after all these terrible experi- 
ences," said Khlobuyofif to himself. " Experience teaches one the 
value of every copeck. Eh ! I am not now as I was." And 
after a moment's thought, he asked himself, ''Would you really 
know how to manage your affairs now ?" Then, with a wave 
of his hand he added, " What the deuce ! I believe that I should 
squander it now exactly as I did before ! " And he quitted the 
shop, burning with curiosity to know what Murazoflf had to say 
to him. 

"I am waiting for you, Semyon Semyonovitch," said Mura- 
^ofi" to Khlobuyoflf, as he entered the house. " Please come to 



TWO AVIIXS, FAIR, AND A LAWYER. 233 

my room." And be then led Khlobuyoff into bis private room, 
and wbicb M'cas no more comfortable tban that of an oliicial wbo 
received a paltr}' salary of some six or seven bnndred roubles a 
year. 

"Pray tell me : I suppose 3'ou are in a little better circum- 
stances now ? You have surely received something, nov/ that 
your aunt is dead ? " 

"What am I to say to you, Afanasiy Vasilievitch ? I do 
not know whether my circumstances are improved or not. I 
have received thirty thousand roubles, with which I must pay 
off a portion of my debts ; and beyond that I have nothing 
whatever. But the principal point is that things are not just 
as they should be in connection with that will. There has 
been some rascality about it, Afanasiy Vasilievitch. I will tell 
you about it directly, and you Avill be amazed that such a trans- 
action could take place. That Tchitchikoff — " 

"Excuse me, Semyon Semyonovitch; before talking of 
Tchitchikoff, permit me to speak about yourself. Tell me how 
much, according to your calculations, would be sufficient to set 
your affairs entirely to rights ? " 

" My affairs are in a very perplexing state," answered Khlo- 
buyoff. " In order to straighten them out, pay off my debts, 
and be in a condition to live in the most modest manner, I 
should need one hundred thousand roubles, if not more." 

" And if you had that, how would you order your life ? " 

" Well, I should take some inexpensive lodgings, and occupy 
myself with the education of my children. There is no use in 
thinking of myself; my career is ended, I am no longer good 
for anything." 

" But your life will in that case remain an idle one ; and in 
an idle life temptations arise which a man would never dream 
of when busy with work." 

"I cannot; I am good for nothing; I have grown stupid 
and my loins pain me." 

" But how can one live without work '? How can one exist 
in the world without duties, without a place of one's own, 
praj'' ? Look at every one of God's creatures i Every one of 
them has some service to perform, is of some use. Even a 
stone is created for use ; and man, the most intelligent being 
of them all — is it possible that he should remain useless ? " 

" But I shall not be without occupation, I can attend to 
the education of my children." 

" No, Semyon Semyonovitch, that is the hardest thing of all. 
How can you educate your children when you are not educated 



294 DEAD SOULS. 

yourself? You can educate your children by the example of 
your own life. But is your life a fitting example for them ? Is 
it well to teach them, for instance, to pass their time in idle- 
ness and in card-playing ? No, Semyon Semyonovitch, give 
your children to me to take care of: you will spoil them. 
Think seriously of this matter : idleness has been your ruin 
— you must flee from it. How can you live in the world with- 
out attaching yourself to anything ? Some duty must be ful- 
filled. Even a day-labourer serves a use. He eats coarse 
bread, but he earns it; and he takes an interest in his 
occupation," 

" By heavens, Afanasiy Vasilievitch, I have tried, I have 
really made an efi'ort to conquer myself ! What am I to do ? 
I have grown old, I have become unfitted for anything. Now, 
what can I do ? Shall I enter the service ? But how am I, at 
my age, to sit at one desk with the ofiice-clerks who 
have just begun theu- career ? Besides, I am incapable of 
accepting bribes ; and hence I hinder my own advancement, 
and injure others. And they have their castes already formed, 
No, Afanasiy Vasilievitch, I have reflected, and I have tried, 
and I have meditated on all sorts of situations — and I am 
unfitted for any one of them. In the almshouse, perhaps," 

" The almshouse is for those who have toiled ; but to those 
who have passed their youth in merriment, one gives the answer 
which the ant gave to the grasshopper, * Go, dance ! ' And those 
who live in the almshouse work also, and toil, and do not play 
at whist. Semyon Semyonovitch, you are deceiving both your- 
self and family." 

So saying, Murazoff" gazed intently into the other man's face ; 
but poor Khlobuyoff could make no reply. Murazoff" felt sorry 
for him, 

" Listen, Semyon Semyonovitch," he resumed. " Surely you 
pray when you enter a church ; you miss neither mass nor ves- 
pers, that I know. Although you do not like to rise early, still 
you do it, and you go — yes, you go to church at four o'clock in 
the morning, when no one else is up." 

" That's another thing, Afanasiy Vasilievitch. I know that I 
am not doing that for man, but for Him who has commanded us 
all to exist on earth. But what of that ? I believe that He is 
merciful to me ; that, no matter how wretched and vile I may 
be. He will pardon and receive me when men repulse me with 
their feet, and when my best friend betrays me, and pretends 
that he betrayed me with a beneficent aim." 

A look of bitterness came over Khlobuyoflf's countenance ; and 



TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AND A LAWYER. 295 

Murazoflf held his peace for a moment, as though to allow him 
to recover himself. Then he said, " Why do not you accept 
some duties, but not for the sake of man or for the gratifica- 
tion of society "? Serve Him who is so merciful. Work is well- 
pleasing in His sight, as well as prayer. Engage in some occu- 
pation, but undertake it as though you were doing it for His 
sake, and not for that of man. Come, now, if you do but draw 
water in a sieve, just think that you are doing it for His sake. 
You will derive at least this profit from it — that you will have 
no time left to lose money at cards, to feast with parasites, 
and lounge your life away. Eh, Semyon Semyonovitch ! Do 
you know Ivan Potapuich ? " 

" I know him, and respect him very deeply." 

" Well, he was formerly a prosperous merchant. He had half 
a million. Everything which he looked at turned to profit, and 
he launched into large expenditure. He began to have his son 
taught French, and he married his daughter to a general. And 
wherever he encountered a friend, whether in a shop or in the 
street of the exchange, he would drag him into a tavern ; he 
feasted thus for days at a time, and finally became bankrupt. 
And then God sent a calamity upon him : his son died. And 
now, do you see '? he is a clerk in my employ. He has made a 
fresh start. His afi"airs have righted themselves. He might 
again enter trade on a basis of five hundred thousand roubles. 
' I have been a clerk, and as a clerk I wish to die. Now,' he 
says, * I have become healthy and fresh ; but formerly I had the 
bellyache, and dropsy was beginning to attack me. No more 
of it ! ' says he. And he never tastes tea now ; all he eats is 
cabbage soup and oatmeal porridge — yes, sir. And he prays as 
not one of the rest of us does, and he helps the poor as none of 
the rest of us do. And I should be glad to assist another man 
who has squandered his money." 

Poor Klilobuyofi" became thoughtful. 

The other man took him by both hands. " Semyon Semyono- 
vitch," said he, " if you only knew how sorry I am for you ! I 
think of you constantly. Now listen to me. You are aware 
that, in the monastery, there is a hermit whom no one sees. 
This man is possessed of great wisdom — of more wisdom, sir, 
than anyone whom I know. Now, he can give proper advice. 
I once began to tell him that I had a certain friend — but I will 
not mention his name — and that he was sufi"ering from such and 
such a cause. He began by listening to my talk ; but all at 
once he interrupted me with the words, * God's business takes 
the precedence of your own. There are churches to be built. 



296 DEAD SOULS. 

and there is no money to do it ; money must be collected for 
the churches ! ' And then he clapped to the door. * What does 
that mean ? ' I thought to myself. Evidently he did not mean 
to impart any advice,' so I went to our archimandrite. No sooner 
had I entered the door, than the first words he addressed to me 
were in the form of an inquiry : did not I know of some man to 
whom could be intrusted the task of making a collection for the 
churches ? He must belong to the gentry or merchant class, 
must be better educated than the average, and must regard the 
work as his salvation. I instantly paused. ' Ah, good heavens ! 
why, the hermit meant to designate Semyon Semyonovitch for 
this task ! The remedy is adapted to his disease. By dint of 
going about with a book under his arm, from landed proprietor 
to peasant, from peasant to petty tradesman, he will learn how 
each class lives, and who stands in need of what — so that when 
he returns, after having made the tour of several governments, 
he will understand the ground and the country far better than 
all the people who dwell in towns.' And such men are needed 
now. Here a certain prince informs me that he would give a 
great deal to get hold of a man who really knows affairs, not 
from papers, but as they really are ; for, as he says, nothing 
can be gathered from papers, everything is so involved." 

" You have utterly confused and overcome me, Afanasiy 
Vasilievitch," said Khlobuyoff, as he gazed in amazement at Mur- 
azoff. " I actually cannot believe that you are saying this to 
me. For your purpose you require an active man, of un- 
wearied energy ; and moreover, how can I desert my wife and 
children ? " 

" You must feel no anxiety with regard to your wife and chil- 
dren. I take them under my own protection, and teachers shall 
be provided for the childi'en. If you are willing to go about 
with double pouches, begging alms for yourself, it is much 
more noble to do so for God. I will give you a simple kibitka : 
do not be afraid of being jolted;- it will be of benefit to your 
health. I will furnish you with money for the journey, so that, 
as you go along, you may give to those who stand most in need 
of it. In this way you can do a great deal of good. You must 
make no mistake ; those to whom you give must be worthy 
persons. By travelling about in this manner, you will make the 
acquaintance of every sort of individual, and you will learn how 
each one lives. This is not the same thing as being an official 
whom everyone fears, but in your case, knowing that you are 
collecting for the Church, they will talk freely." 

** I perceive that it is a very beautiful scheme, and I should bo 



TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AND A LAWYER. 297 

very glad to have a share in it ; hut it really seems to me as 
though it were heyoud my powers." 

" Well, what is within your powers ? " said Murazoff. " There 
is nothing within our powers ; everything is beyond our powers. 
Nothing is possible without aid from on high. Prayer concen- 
trates the faculties. A man crosses himself, and says, ' Lord, 
have mercy ! ' then he rows on, and reaches the shore. One 
must not pause long to think of this ; it is merely necessary 
to cling blindly to God. The kibitka will be ready for you 
immediately ; and you must run to the father archimandrite 
for the book and his blessing, and then set out on your 
journey." 

" I will obey you, and I will accept this as the command of 
God ; and may the Lord give me his blessing ! " thought Khlo- 
buyoff, as he felt strength and alertness beginning to permeate 
his soul. His very brain seemed to be stimulated with the 
hope of escape from his sad and inextricable predicament. 
Light began to glimmer in the distance. 

" And now, permit me to ask you," said Murazoff, " what sort 
of a man is that Tchitchikoff ? " 

"I can tell you incredible things about Tchitchikoff. Ho is 
engaged in such transactions — well, do you know, Afanasiy 
Vasilievitch, that will was certainly forged ? The real one has 
been found — one in which my aunt bequeaths all the property 
to her lady companions, whom she brought up." 

" You don't say so ! Then, who fabricated the forged 
will ? " 

" That is the very point, and a most revolting business it is. 
They say that Tchitchikoff did it, and that the will was signed 
after the testator's death. They dressed up some woman to 
represent the dead woman, and that person signed it. In short, 
the affair is of the most rascally description. A thousand appeals 
have poured in from all quarters ; wooers are now flocking to 
Marya Yeremyevna, who personated the deceased. Lideedtwo 
official personages are now quarrelling over her. That's the sort 
of a business it is, Afanasiy Vasilievitch." 

" I have heard nothing about this, but there really is some- 
thing wrong about the matter. I will admit that Pavel Ivano- 
vitch Tchitchikoff is to me an extremely repulsive man," said 
Murazoff. 

" I have also filed an appeal, in order to remind the officials 
that an immediate heir is in existence. They may all fight it 
out among themselves, so far as I am concerned," thought 
Khlobuyotf, as he left the house. "Afanasiy Vasilievitch is 



298 DEAD SOULS. 

no fool. He probably thought the matter over before he in- 
trusted this commission to me. All I have to do is to fulfil 
it." 

He had already begun to meditate on his journey, while 
Murazoflf was still repeating, " Pavel Ivanovitch Tchitchikoff is 
to me an extremely repulsive man. If he would only dis- 
play the same perseverance and force of will in a good cause ! " 

In the meantime, appeal after appeal had been presented to 
the court. Relatives who had never been heard of before made 
their appearance. As birds of prey swoop down upon a corpse, 
so every one swooped down upon the immense heritage left 
by the old woman. Denunciations against Tchitchikoff, against 
the fraudulent will ; complaints as to the fraudulent character 
of the first will as well ; charges of theft, and of the concealment 
of various sums ; charges against Tchitchikoff in connection with 
his purchase of dead souls, and of his introduction of snauggled 
goods during his service in the custom-house — had already been 
brought forward. 

Everything had been ferreted out, and his former history was 
generally known. God alone knows how people had got scent 
of his history, and had unearthed the whole of it ! But there 
were proofs, even with regard to such matters as Tchitchikoff 
supposed to be known to himself and to the four walls only. 
AH this was a judicial secret for the present, and had not yet 
reached his ears ; although a confidential note from his lawyer, 
which he received before long, gave him to understand that 
there was trouble brewing. This note Avas couched in brief 
terms : " I hasten to inform you that your business will create a 
stir, but remember that you are not to feel anxious. The chief 
thing is — composure. We will settle it all." This note en- 
tirely reassured him. "That man is a real genius!" said 
Tchitchikoff. 

To complete his pleasant frame of mind, the tailor brought 
home his new suit just at this time. He conceived a strong 
desire to have a look at himself in his new coat of Navarino 
smoke and flame ; he tightly buckled his trousers, which fitted 
him wonderfully well in every respect, so that he was a perfect 
picture. The cloth moulded itself to his hips and calves ; it set 
snugly to his whole form, thereby communicating still greater 
elasticity to it. When he drew the strap close behind, his 
stomach seemed just like a drum. He immediately smote it with 
a brush, and said, " What a fool ! but, on the whole, it forms a 
picture." It appeared that the coat was even better made than 
the trousers : there was not a single wrinkle ; all the parts 



TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AND A LAWYER. 299 

stretched smoothly, curving outward over the rounding portions 
of his body, and defining the hollows. 

The tailor merely smiled at Tchitchikoff's remark, that it 
pinched him a little under his left arm : it set all the better 
round the waist for that, said he. "Be at your ease, be at your 
ease, as regards the work," he kept repeating with unconcealed 
triumph. " Things are made so nowhere else outside of Peters- 
burg." The tailor was from Petersburg himself; and on his 
sign he had inscribed, From London and Paris. He was not 
fond of jesting, and his object in employing the names of these 
two cities was to close the throats of all other tailors on the spot, 
so that, in the future, no one should present himself as coming 
from those cities, but might set himself down as from some 
Carlsruhe or Copenhagen. 

Tchitchikoti' settled his debt to the tailor in handsome style ; 
and when he was alone once more, he began to survey himself 
at his leisure in the mirror, like an artist possessed of an 
aesthetic sense, and con amore. Everything seemed more satis- 
factory than befoi-e : his cheeks were more interesting, his chin 
was more captivating, his white collar imparted tone to his 
cheeks, his blue satin neckcloth imparted tone to his collar, the 
new-fangled plaits of his shirt-front gave tone to his neckcloth, 
his rich velvet waistcoat gave value to his shirt-front, and his 
swallow-tailed coat of Navarino smoke and flame, which was as 
glossy as silk, heightened the effect of all the rest. 

He turned to the right — good ! He turned to the left — better 
still! He bent forward as though in the house of a court- 
chamberlain, or of a gentleman who even scratches himself in 
the French style, and who, even when angry, never disgraces 
himself by an unclean word in the Russsian language, but 
curses in the French dialect. Such delicacy ! 

Inclining his head a little on one side, he tried to strike an 
attitude as though in the act of addressing a lady of middle age, 
and of the highest cultivation. The attitude turned out a perfect 
picture. Artist, take your brush, and limn it ! In his satis- 
faction he executed a little skip in the nature of a capez*. The 
table trembled ; and a glass bottle containing e an- de-Colo fine 
fell to the floor ; but this occasioned him no dismay. 

He simply called the stupid bottle a "fool," and was think- 
ing, " To whom shall I show myself first ? The best thing of 
all will be " — when suddenly there became audible in the ante- 
room a clanking resembling that produced by boots and spurs, 
and a gendarme entered in full uniform, and with a look on his 
face as though he were a whole army in himself. " You are 



300 DEAD SOULS. 

ordered to present yourself instantly to the governor-general," 
said he. Tchitchikoff was stunned. Before him towered a 
bearded scarecrow, with a horse-tail on his head, a cross-belt 
over one shoulder, another cross-belt over the other, and a 
huge sword suspended at his side. It seemed to Tchitchikoff 
that a gun and the deuce knows what besides was suspended 
from his other side. There Avas indeed a whole army contained 
in this one individual, and what an army ! He attempted to 
make some reply ; but the scarecrow interrupted him roughl}^ 
"You are to come with me immediately." 

On glancing through the doorway into the ante-room, Tchi- 
tchikoff caught a glimpse of another scarecrow ; then he cast 
a glance through the window : there was a carriage in the 
courtyard. What was to be done ? He was forced to seat 
himself just as he was, coat of Navarino smoke and flame and 
all, in the equipage ; and, trembling in every limb, he was 
driven to the governor-general's, and the gendarme with him. 
They did not even allow him time to recover himself in the ante- 
room. " Step up ! The prince is waiting for you," said the 
official who was on duty. The ante-room, filled with couriers 
who had received their packets, flashed past him as in a mist: 
then came a hall, through which he passed with but one 
thought, " This is the way one is seized, without a hearing or 
any formality, and sent to Siberia ! " His heart beat with such 
^violence as even that of the most sincere lover is incapable of. 
At length a door opened, a study filled with portfolios, book- 
cases, and books presented itself before him, and the prince 
stood there, as angry as wrath personified. 

" My destroyer, my destroyer ! " said Tchitchikoff to himself. 
" He will cut my throat as the wolf tears that of the lamb." 

*' I have spared you, I have permitted you to remain free in 
the city when you should have been in prison ; but you have 
again sullied yourself with the most dishonourable villainy with 
which a man ever disgraced himself! " 

The prince's lips quivered with anger. 

" With what dishonourable deed and villainy does your excel- 
lency charge me ? " inquired Tchitchikoff, trembling in every 
limb. 

" The woman," said the prince, stepping a little closer, and 
looking Tchitchikoff straight in the eye, "the woman who 
signed that will, at your dictation, has been apprehended ; and 
you will be confronted with her." 

The world grew dark before the eyes of Tchitchikoff, who 
turned as pale as a sheet. 



TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AXD A LA^^^:EIl. SOI 

" Yoiir excellency, I will tell you the real truth of that matter. 
1 am guilty, yes, guilty, but not so guilty. My enemies have 
betrayed me." 

" No one can betray you, for the rascality within you is 
many times greater than the most abandoned liar could even 
conceive of. I don't believe that you ever have done a thing in 
your life which was not dishonourable. Every copeck that 
you have acquired has been acquired by the most dishonourable 
means, and by robbery, and the most disgraceful sort of trans- 
actions, which deserve the knout and Siberia. No, there has 
been enough of this. You will be conveyed this instant to 
prison ; and there, on a level with the vilest of men and with 
thieves, you will avt^ait the judgment on your case. And this is 
but a slight punishment, for you are far worse than those who 
are clad in armyaks'" and sheepskin coats ; for you — " Here he 
glanced at the coat of Navarino smoke and flame, and, seizing 
the bell-cord, he rang vigorously. 

" Your excellency," cried Tchitchikoff, " have mercy ! You 
ai"e the father of a family : pparc me, for the sake of my aged 
mother ! " 

" You lie ! " exclaimed the prince angrily. " You besought 
me once in the name of your children and of the wife which you 
never had, and now it is for the sake of your mother." 

" Your excellency, I am a wretch, and the vilest of good-for- 
nothings," said Tchitchikoff". "I really have lied; I really 
had no wife and children ; but God is my witness that I have 
always wanted to have a wife, to fulfil the duties of a man and 
a citizen, in order hereafter to actually merit the respect of 
my fellow-citizens and of the authorities. But how inauspicious 
has been the course of circumstances ! Your highness, I have 
been forced to win an existence at the cost of my blood. 
At every step I have encountered deceit and temptation — 
enemies, corrupters, and robbers. My whole life has been like 
a stormy tempest, or like a vessel amid the billows, at the 
mercy of the gale. I am a man, your excellency — " 

Tears suddenly streamed in torrents from his eyes. He flung 
liimself at the prince's feet, just as he was, in his coat of 
Navarino smoke and flame, his velvet waistcoat, his blue satin 
neckcloth, his wonderfully well-made trousers, and pressed his 
brow to the floor, while his finely arranged hair exhaled a sweet 
scent of eau-dc-Coloyne of the first quality. 

" Get away from me! Call a soldier to take him away! " 
said the prince to the man who entered. 
* Long peasant-cloaks. 



302 BEAD SOULS. 

" Your excellency ! " shrieked Tchitchikoff, clasping tlie 
prince's boot with both arms. 

" Go away, I tell you ! " said the prince, striving to extricate 
his leg from Tchitchikoff's embrace. 

" Your excellency, I will not stir from this spot until you 
grant me mercy," said Tchitchikoff, not releasing the prince's 
boot, but pressing it close to his breast, and making his way 
across the floor, coat of Navarino smoke and flame included, in 
company with the boot. 

" Leave, I tell you ! " repeated the prince, with the same 
inexplicable sensation of disgust which a man experiences at the 
sight of some repulsive insect which he cannot bring himself 
to crush under foot. He shook himself so violently, that 
Tchitchikofi' felt the shock of the prince's foot upon his nose, his 
lips, and his rounded chin. But he did not relax his hold upon 
the boot, he even clasped the leg in his embrace with renewed 
energy. Two stalwart gendarmes dragged him away by main 
force, bound his arms, and then led him through all the apart- 
ments. He was pale and worn, and in that condition of nervous 
terror in which a man finds himself when he sees before him 
black, inevitable death, that bugbear which is so repellent to our 
natures. 

At the very door opening upon the staircase Murazoff met 
him. A ray of hope suddenly flashed through his mind. In an 
instant, by the exercise of supernatural strength, he had torn 
himself from the hands of the two gendarmes, and had flung 
himself at the feet of the astounded old man. 

" My friend, Pavel Ivanovitch, what is the matter with you ?' ' 
exclaimed Murazofi". 

" Save me ! They are leading me to prison — to my death." 
However, the gendarmes seized him and carried him ofi', with- 
out allowing him to complete his sentence. 

A damp and musty attic filled with the odour of the boots 
and foot-bandages of the soldiers of the garrison, an unpainted 
table, two miserable chairs, a window with an iron grating, 
a worthless stove, through whose cracks the smoke emerged, 
but which gave out no heat, such were the quarters where 
Tchitchikofi", in his fine new coat of Navarino smoke and flame, 
was lodged, before he had begun to taste the sweets of life and 
to attract the attention of his contemporaries. He had not been 
allowed to make any preparations, or even to take the most 
indispensable articles with him. His dressing-case, where his 
money was kept, his papers, his deeds of sale respecting the 
dead souls — everything now was in the hands of the authorities. 



TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AND A LAWYER. 303 

He flung himself on the floor : hopeless sorrow, like a .carni- 
vorous worm, coiled itself about his heart. With eve^-increasing 
swiftness did it begin to devour this heart, which was wholly 
unprotected. One day more, only one day more of such 
anguish, and Tchitchikofi" would have utterly ceased to exist on 
this earth ! But some one's all-saving hand had not been idle 
in Tchitchikofl's aftairs. An hour later the door of his prison 
was flung open. Old Murazofi" entered. 

If some person had poured fresh water from a spring into the 
parched throat of a weary and fainting traveller tortured with 
thirst, and covered with the dust and dirt of the road, he would 
not have strengthened and refreshed the wayfarer to such an 
extent as this visit revivified our hero. 

" My saviour! " he exclaimed, suddenly springing from the 
floor, upon which he had thrown himself in his outburst of grief ; 
and grasping Murazofi"s hand, he kissed it quickly, and pressed 
it to his bosom. " May God reward you for having thus visited 
an unhappy wretch !" 

He burst into tears. 

The old man gazed at him with a look of pain and compassion, 
and said, "Ah, Pavel, Pavel Ivanovitch ! Pavel Ivanovitch, 
what have you done ? " 

" What was there for me to do ? That accursed lack of 
judgment as to measure overtook me, and I had not sense enough 
to pause in time. Satan, the accursed, beguiled me. led me 
beyond the bounds of reason and of human calculations. I 
have sinned, I have sinned ! But how could they behave in 
that manner ? To throw a nobleman, a nobleman, into prison 
without a hearing, without even an investigation ! A nobleman, 
Afanasiy Vasilievitch ! And why did not they allow me time to 
go to my quarters, to arrange my affairs? Now everything 
that belongs to me is left without anyone to take care of it. 
My dressing-case, Afanasiy Vasilievitch ! my dressing-case ! It 
contains my entire property. I won it by the sweat of my 
brow, by my blood, by years of toil, by privation. My dressing- 
case, Afanasiy Vasilievitch ! Everything will be stolen — carried 
ofl"! OGod!" 

And, powerless to control the anguish which attacked his very 
heart, he sobbed aloud in a voice which pierced the thick walls 
of his prison, and resounded dully in the distance : he snatched 
off his satin neckcloth, and, seizing his coat of Navarino flame 
and smoke by the collar, he tore it off", 

"Ah, Pavel Ivanovitch, how these riches have blinded you ! 
They prevent your realising your terrible situation." 



304 DEAD SOULS, 

" My benefactor, my saviour, save mo!" cried poor Pavel 
Ivanovitcb, throwing himself at Murazoff's feet. " The prince 
loves you : he will do anything for you." 

" No, Pavel Ivanovitch, I cannot, much as I should wish and 
like to do it. You have fallen under an inexorable law, and 
not under the power of any man." 

" That rascal of a Satan, that outcast of the human race, has 
ruined me ! " So saying, Tchitchikoff dashed his head against 
the wall, and struck the table with his fist, so that he wounded 
it till it bled ; but he felt neither the pain in his head nor the 
violence of the blow. 

" Calm yourself, Pavel Ivanovitch ; reflect how you may 
make your peace with God, and not with men ; think of your 
miserable soul." 

" But what a fate, Afanasiy Vasilievitch ! Did such a fate 
ever overtake any other man ? I amassed my copecks pa- 
tiently — with bloody patience, I may say, with toil, with toil ; 
and I have never cheated men, nor robbed the treasury, as 
many do. "Why did I amass copecks ? In order to be able to 
pass the remnant of my days in comfort, to leave them to the 
wife and children whom I intended to acquire for my salvation, 
for the service of my country. That is why I wanted to amass 
money. I have gone astray ; I do not deny it, I have gone 
astray ; but what could I do ? I only went astray when I 
saw that nothing was to be won by following the straight road, 
and that the crooked ways were more profitable. But I have 
ever toiled and stinted myself. If I have taken anything it has 
been from the wealthy. But see those scoundrels in the de- 
partments of justice who steal thousands from the treasury, 
who rob the poor, who squeeze the last copeck from those who 
have nothing. What a misfortune this is ! Tell me why it is, 
that every time that you begin to reap the fruits of your labour, 
and to touch them with your hand, so to speak, there suddenly 
arises a tempest, or you run aground on a reef beneath the 
water, and the whole ship is dashed into splinters ? Here I 
had a capital of thirty thousand roubles ; I also had a three- 
storey house ; on two occasions I purchased a village. Ah, 
Afanasiy Vasilievitch, why are these blows dealt to me ? Was 
not my life already like a bark among the billows ? Where is 
the justice of Heaven ? Where is the reward for patience, for 
unexampled perseverance ? Three times have I begun afresh, 
after having lost everything. I began again with a copeck, 
when any other man would long before have taken to drink- in 
despair, and have ruined himself in the dram-shop. Consider how 



TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AND A LAWYER. 305 

much I have had to contend with, how much to endure ! Why, 
every copeck has hcen wrung out of me, so to speak, with all 
the powers of my soul. Some other man might have acquired 
a fortune with ease, but with me it has only been by dint of 
great exertion." 

He sobbed loudly with insufferable torture of heart, fell upon 
a chair, completely tore off the skirt of his coat, which was 
hanging in slareds, flung it away from him, and thrusting both 
hands into his hair, over the improvement of which he had 
formerly taken so much pains, he tore it out remorselessly, en- 
joying the pain by which he strove to deaden the unquenchable 
torture of his heart. 

For a long time Murazoft' sat silent before him, gazing at this 
remarkable exhibition of madness, which was something that 
he had never hitherto witnessed. This fellow, who had not 
long ago been fluttering about with the easy agility of a man of 
the world or an officer, was now flinging himself wildly about in 
a soiled, torn, and rumpled waistcoat and unbuttoned trousers, 
with a hand bleeding from the blow which he had dealt it, and 
pouriug out invectives on the hostile powers which attend upon 
mankind. 

"Ah, Pavel Ivanovitch, Pavel Ivanovitch ! " said Muraz off. 
" What a man you might have been if you had but exerted 
yourself with this same force and perseverance in the proper 
direction, with a better aim in view ! Great heavens ! how 
much good you might have accomplished ! If one of the people 
who love good had only expended as much power in its behalf 
as you have expended in acquiring copecks, and had under- 
stood how to sacrifice his own self-love and ambition for good 
without sparing himself, as you have not spared yourself for 
the sake of amassing money, my God, how this earth of ours 
would have blossomed out ! Pavel Ivanovitch, Pavel Ivano- 
nitch ! the pity of it is not that you have been guilty towards 
others, but that you have been false to yourself, to the rich 
powers and talents with which you were endowed. You were 
intended to be a great man, but you have been the cause of 
your own loss and ruin." 

No matter how far the incorrigible criminal may have strayed 
from the path in his wanderings, no matter how hardened his 
feelings may have become, no matter how he may have per- 
sisted in and clung to his life of corruption, yet if you approach 
him with the very qualities which he has discredited, his soul 
involuntarily awakens, and quivers in every fibre. 

" Afanasiy Vasilievitch," said Tchitchikoff, and he seized 

u 



306 DEAD SOULS. 

Murazoff's hand in both of his, " oh, if you could only con- 
trive to set me free, to restore my property to me, I swear to 
you that I would henceforth lead a wholly different life. Save 
me, my benefactor, save me ! " 

" What can I do ? I must in that case war against the laws. 
Suppose that I were to bring myself to that ; however, the 
prince is a just man ; he would not release you." 

"My benefactor, you can do anything ! The law does not 
terrify me. I could find means of coping with the law : what 
troubles me is, that I have been cast into prison, that I shall 
perish here like a dog, and that my property, my papers, my 
dressing-case — Ah ! Save me ! " 

He embraced the old man's feet, and burst into tears. 

" Ah, Pavel Ivanovitch, Pavel Ivanovitch ! " said old Murazoff, 
shaking his head, " how this property has blinded you ! For 
its sake you refuse to listen to your poor soul." 

" I will think of my soul ; only save me ! " 

"Pavel Ivanovitch," said old Murazoff", impressively, " it is 
not within my power to save you. You see that yourself. But 
I will exert myself so far as I can to lighten your fate and to 
have you set at liberty. I do not know whether I shall succeed 
in effecting this, but I will try. But in case I should succeed 
beyond my expectations, I shall claim a reward for my labour, 
Pavel Ivanovitch. Cast aside all these efforts to acquire wealth. 
i say to you in serious earnest, that if I were to lose all my 
money — and I have more than you — I should not weep over it. 
No, no ; the point does not lie in the property of which others 
may deprive me, but in that which no one can confiscate or 
steal away from me. You have already lived a tolerably long 
time in the world. You yourself style your life a bark amid 
the billows. You^already have enough to live upon for the re- 
mainder of your days. Settle down in some retired spot, near 
a church and among good simple people ; or, if you are anxious 
to leave descendants behind you, marry some good young girl 
who is not rich, but who is accustomed to a modest way of 
living ; forget this noisy world and all its seductive caprices, 
and let it forget you. There is no rest to be had in it. You 
see how it is : everyone in it is an enemy, a tempter, or a 
traitor." 

" Certainly, certainly. I had already formally intended 
to order my life in accordance with the requirements of my 
soul, to occupy myself with the management of my estate, to 
live a quiet life, in fact. The tempter Satan,^yes, the Devil and 
his crew, turned me from the path and beguiled me." 



TWO WII,LS, A FAIR, AND A LAWYER. 307 

Some hidden and hitherto unknown feelings now revealed 
themselves within our hero, as though something remote, some- 
thing which had been dropped into his mind long before, which 
had been stifled since his childhood by stern and deadly pre- 
cepts, by the unpropitious conditions of his wearisome boyhood, 
by the dreariness of his paternal home, by the changeless 
isolation, poverty, and misery of his earliest impressions, by the 
gloomy views of fate which peered sadly at him through a dim 
window-pane, obscured by the snowstorms of winter, was 
desirous of awaking. 

A groan burst from his lips, and, covering his face with both 
hands, he exclaimed in a sorrowful voice, "It is true, it is 
true ! " 

" Neither your knowledge of mankind nor your experience 
availed, since the foundation of your fortune was unlawful. 
But if there had been a lawful foundation. Ah, Pavel Ivano- 
vitch ! why have you ruined yourself? Awake! it is not too 
late ; perhaps there may still be time." 

" No, it is too late, too late ! " groaned Tchitchikoff in a voice 
which nearly broke MurazofF's heart. "I begin to feel, I am 
conscious, that it is not thus, not thus, that I shall go — that 
I have wandered very far from the right road ; but I can do jf/ 
nothing now. No, not thus was I brought up. My father incul- ^ ^ 
cated righteousness, he beat it into me : he made me copy moral 
precepts, while he himself stole a forest from a neighbour in my 
presence, and forced me to assist him in the deed. He entered 
into an unjust lawsuit, and I knew it ; he corrupted a young 
girl who was an orphan and his ward. Example is stronger 
than precept. I see, I feel, Afanasiy Vasilievitch, that I am 
not leading the right sort of life, but no one could have a greater 
repugnance for vice. My nature has grown coarse ; I have not 
that love for good, those fine impulses for deeds of benevolence, 
which are formed by habit ; I have not as great a desire to do 
battle for the good as for the acquisition of wealth. I am telling 
you the truth. Ah ! what am I to do ? " 

The old man sighed. 

" Pavel Ivanovitch, you possess as much strength of will as 
patience," said he. " Medicine is bitter ; but the sick man 
takes it, knowing that otherwise he will not recover. You have 
no love for the good : do good by main force, without any love 
for it. This will be accounted a greater merit in your case than 
in the case of a man who does good for the love of it. Only 
force yourself to do it a few times and you will acquire a lov^ 
for it. Believe me, everything proceeds in this manner. Wj 



308' DEAD SOULS. 

have been told that the ' kingdom of heaven is taken by force.' 
Only by force can we come near to it, and by force it is neces- 
■ sary to lay hold of it. Eh, Pavel Ivanovitch ! surely you 
possess that strength, that iron patience which is not possessed 
by others, and can you not conquer '? Yes, it seems to me that 
you could prove a bof/atuir.'^' For all men are now lacking in 
will, all are weak," 

It was evident that these words penetrated into Tchitchikoff 's 
inmost soul, and touched something egotistical at the bottom of 
it. Decision, or some powerful emotion which resembled it, 
gleamed in his ej'es. 

" Afanasiy Vasilievitch," said he firmly, " if you will only 
procure my release, and the means of departing hence with some 
property, I will give you my word that I will begin a different 
life. I will purchase a village, I will become a good manager ; 
I will amass money, not for myself, but for the purpose of 
assisting others ; I will do good, so far as lies within my power ; 
1 will forget myself, and all the dainties and feasts of the city ; 
I will lead a simple and sober life." 

" May God strengthen you in that determination ! " said the 
delighted old man. " I shall exert my utmost powers to beg your 
freedom from the prince. Whether I shall succeed or not, God 
alone knows. In any case, your fate will certainly be amelio- 
rated. Ah, good heavens, embrace me ! Permit me to embrace 
you ! How truly you have rejoiced my heart ! Now God be 
with you ! I shall go straight to the prince." 

Then Tchitchikoff was left alone. His whole nature had been 
shaken to its depths, and thoroughly softened. Even platinum, 
the hardest of metals, and the one which resists the fire longer 
than all the rest, melts at last ; when the fire is increased in the 
furnace, and the bellows blow upon it, and the heat of the 
llames attains to an intolerable pitch, then the most stubborn of 
metal blanches, and is converted into a liquid ; and so the 
strongest miseries of mental torture yield, when intolerable 
fires consume a natui'e A\hich has grown for a season hardened. 

"I have no feelings myself," soliloquised our hero. "I 
feel nothing, but I will exert all my powers to cause others to 
feel : I am evil and worthless myself, but I will use all my 
strength to convert others to goodness ; I am but a poor Chris- 
tian myself, but I will strain every nerve in order that I may 
give no cause for offence. 1 will work, I will toil in the sweat 
of my brow. In the village I will conduct myself honestly, in 

* A hero of the ancient epic songs of Russia. 



TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AND A LAAVYER. 309 

order that I may have a good influence on others. Why, after 
all, should I regard myself as an utter castaway '? I have capa- 
city for the management of an estate ; I posse:!:s the qualities of 
economy and skill, and good sense, and even of perseverance. 
All that is necessary is to make up my mind to it." 

After this fashion did Tchitchikoff meditate, and he seemed 
to be testing the half-awakened powers of his soul. It seemed 
as though his nature were becoming aware in a dim groping 
Avay that there is some duty which must be fulfilled in every 
situation, in every nook, however remote, despite all the per- 
plexities and disturbances which hover round a man in every 
position in which he may be placed. And a laborious life, far 
removed from the uproar of cities, and from those seductions 
which man has devised in his idleness, unmindful of toil, began 
to outline itself so distinctly before him, that he almost forgot 
the unpleasantness of his predicament, and was even prepared 
to return thanks to providence for that heavy blow if he might 

regain his libei'ty and a portion of his However, at this 

moment the door of his noisome prison opened, and an official 
personage entered — Samosvistoff, an epicui'ean, a clever fellow,- 
with shoulders an arshin* broad, and huge feet, a capital com- 
panion, a roisterer, and a thorough brute, as even his comrades 
expressed themselves in regard to him. In times of war this 
man would have wrought wonders had he been despatched to 
make his way through some impenetrable, perilous place, to 
crawl in under the very mouths of the enemy's cannon : it would 
have been the very work for him. After having missed a 
military career, which might have made an honest man of him, 
he had set all his powers to the task of rendering himself as vile 
as possible. And, incredible to state, he possessed extraordi- 
nary convictions and principles ; he behaved well with his 
comrades, never betrayed any of them, and having given his 
word, he kept it ; but as for the official personages of a higher 
rank than his own, he regarded them in the light of a hostile 
battery, through which it behoved him to make his way, taking 
advantage of every weak spot, of every breach, of all lack of 
watchfulness. 

" I know all about your situation : I have heard every- 
thing," he said, when he saw that the door was closed behind 
him. *' Have no fears, none ; all will be set right. Everybody 
has set to work on your behalf, and Ave are all at your service. 
Thirty thousand Avill suffice for all, not a rouble more," 

* Twenty-eight inches. 



310 DEAD SOULS. 

" Done !" exclaimed Tchitchikoff. "And shall I be set com- 
pletely at liberty ? " 

*' Completely. You will even receive compensation for your 
losses." 

" And for the trouble ? " 

" Thirty thousand roubles. That is for all of us — our people, 
the governor-general, and his secretary." 

" But excuse me, how can I ? All my effects, my dressing- 
case, and the rest, are now under seal, under supervision." 

" You will receive everything an hour hence. Shall we 
strike hands on the bargain ? " 

Tchitchikoff gave his hand. His heart beat fast and he 
could not believe that this was possible. 

" Farewell for the present. I was commissioned by our 
mutual friend to tell you that the principal thing is — composure, 
and presence of mind." 

" H'm ! " thought Tchitchikoff: "lunderstand; the lawyer." 

Thereupon Samosvistoff disappeared. Tchitchikoff, left 
alone once more, had not yet succeeded in believing his words, 
when an hour later, his dressing-case and papers were brought 
to him, and what is more, in the very best of order. Samos- 
vistoff played the part of director ; he scolded the sentinels 
posted at our hero's house for their heedlessness ; he inspected 
them, and ordered application to be made for extra soldiers, so 
that the guard might be strengthened. Then he seized not only 
the dressing-case, but all the documents which could in any 
way compromise Tchitchikoff. Having made them all up into a 
package together, he sealed it and ordered a soldier to take it 
to Tchitchikoff, under the pretence that it consisted of indis- 
pensable articles for his toilet. Indeed, Tchitchikoff received 
together with his papers, all the warm clothing which was 
necessary for covering his delicate body. This change of 
matters rejoiced him unspeakably. He conceived strong hopes, 
and he again began to dream of luxuries, of evenings spent at 
the theatre, and of a ballet-girl whom he was courting. The 
country and a quiet life began to lose all charms for him ; the 
city and its tumult were more brilliant and seductive. Oh, 
life ! 

However, in the meantime, the matter had assumed unheard 
of proportions in the court and council-chamber. The pens of 
the scribes laboured away, while the scribes themselves took 
snuff and admired their flourishing cahgraphy. The lawyer, 
like a hidden magician, guided the entire mechanism : he 
thoroughly confused them all before any of them had succeeded 



TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AXD A LAWYER. 311 

in looking into the matter. The imbroglios augmented. Samos- 
vistoff also excelled himself in audacity and in incredible daring. 
On learning where the woman who had been captured was 
kept under guard, he straightway presented himself there with 
such a dashing and authoritative air, that the sentry saluted 
him, and dropped his hand to the seam of his trousers. 

" Have you been standing here long ? " asked Samosvistoff. 

" Ever since the morning, your honour ; it will be three 
hours before I shall be relieved, your honour." 

' ' I require your services. I shall tell the officer to despatch 
another man in your place." 

" I obey you, your honour ! " 

Then proceeding home, in order not to initiate anyone else 
into the affair, Samosvistoff dressed himself up like a gendarme, 
completing his disguise with moustache and side-whiskers. 
The Devil himself would not have recognised him. He then 
started off for the house where Tchitchikoff was confined, 
and seizing the first woman whom he encountered, he gave her 
in charge to two official youngsters, who were also sharp prac- 
titioners. Then he presented himself with his moustaches and 
a gun, as the case required, to the sentinel. " Go ! " said he, 
" the commander has sent me to take your duty." 

While the exchange was effected Samosvistoff took up his 
stand with his gun. This was all that was required. Mean- 
while the woman who had personated the dead aunt had been 
replaced by another, who neither knew nor remembered any- 
thing. The former was then concealed in such a manner that 
indeed it was never known what had become of her. 

At the vejry time when Samosvistoff was transforming him- 
self into the semblance of a warrior, the lawyer was working 
wonders in civil circles. The governor was given to understand 
indirectly that the procurator was preparing a complaint about 
him ; the commandant of the gendarmes was informed that an 
official who had been living privately in town was writing a 
denunciation of him ; the official who had been living privately 
was told that there was another and still more mysterious 
official personage, who was lodging information against him ; 
and all of them were placed in such a position, that they were 
forced to resort to the lawyer for advice. This was the utter 
nonsense which resulted : denunciation followed upon denun- 
ciation, and such things were on the point of being divulged 
as no one had ever heard of before, and which, in point of fact, 
had never had any existence at all. Every sort of device was 
employed in the work, and brought to bear on the matter : one 



312 DEAD SOULS. 

man was stated to be an illegitimate son, and his birth and 
name were revealed ; another was declared to have a mistress ; 
while the name of a man whom the wife of another was pur- 
suing was also made known. 

Scandal, oflfence, and every sort of element were so intermin- 
gled and intertwined with Tchitchikoff's aflair, and his dead 
souls, that it was utterly impossible to decide in any manner 
whatever which of these matters was the most nonsensical. 
"When the papers at length began to attack the governor- 
general, the poor prince could make nothing of them. An ex- 
ceedingly clever and sensible oflficial to whom the preparation 
of the abstract report was entrusted came near losing his mind. 
It was absolutely impossible by any means whatever to grasp 
the thread of the imbroglio. The prince moreover was at that 
time troubled about a multitude of other matters, each more 
annoying than the other. Famine had made its appearance in 
one quarter of the government. The officials who had been 
sent there to distribute bread had not taken the proper 
measures. In another quarter of the government, the 
BaslwJniki-'' had been making a stir. Someone had circulated 
among them a report that Antichrist had been born, and that he 
gave the dead no peace, for he had been collecting their souls. 
The Raskolniki then hov/led and made accusations ; and under 
the pretext of catching Antichrist, they slew peaceable folks. 

In another locality, the peasants had revolted against the 
proprietors and the members of the rural police. Some vaga- 
bonds had circulated a rumour among them to the effect that 
the time was approaching when the peasants were to become 
landowners themselves, and array themselves in swallow- 
tailed coats, while the gentry would be clothed in blouses and 
become peasants ; and without reflecting on the fact that in 
that case there would be far too many landowners, the entire 
district refused to pay any taxes whatever to the rural police. 
It became necessary to resort to forcible measures. The poor 
prince was in the most distracted state of mind conceivable. It 
was at such a time as this that he was visited by Murazoff, 
the farmer of the brandy revenues. " Let him enter," said the 
prince. Thereupon the old man made his appearance. 

" See what your Tchitchikoff has come to," said the prince. 

* "When tlie Patriarcli Nikon, about the middle of the seventeenth 
centuiy, had the sacred -writings revised, and the numerous errors -which 
had crept in through the carelessness of scribes (and otherwise) corrected, 
some people still clung to the old and faulty versions ; and thus the sect of 
the Maakolniki, or " Old Believers," came into existence. 



TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AND A LAWTTER. 313 

You stood up for him, and defended him. Now he has involved 
himself in a transaction such as the vilest of thieves would not 
have dabbled in." 

"Permit me to observe to your excellency that I do not 
understand this matter very well." 

" He has forged a will, and has done other things besides. 
He deserves public chastisement with the whip for such mis- 
deeds." 

"Your excellency — I do not say this with the object of de- 
fending Tchitchikoff — but surely all this has not been proved 
as yet. Ko investigation has yet been made." 

" There are proofs. The woman who was dressed up to re- 
present the dead woman has been arrested. I intend to 
interrogate her expressly in your presence." 

The prince then rang, and gave orders that the woman in 
question should be summoned. Murazoff held his peace. 

" It is a most disgraceful afiair," resumed his excellency, 
" and to their shame be it said, the most prominent officials in 
the city are mixed up in it, even the civil governor himself. 
He ought not to be where thieves and rascals congregate," 
said the prince wrathfully. 

" Why, the civil governor is the heir"^' to the deceased's 
property ; he has a right to be connected with the matter ; but 
it is only natural, your excellency, that others should have inter- 
fered on all sides. A rich woman has died ; she has not made 
a just and reasonable disposition of her property; persons 
desirous of enriching themselves have flown here from all 
quarters — that is all human nature." 

" But why commit villainies? The scamps ! " said the prince 
with a feeling of indignation. "I have not a single honourable 
official about me : they are all rogues ! " 

" Well, your excellency, which of us is as good as he ought 
to be ? All the officials of our city are — men ; but they have 
their merits, and many of them are extremely well informed as 
to their business. On the other hand, everyone is liable to 
sin." 

" Listen, Afanasiy Vasilievitch ; tell me — you are the only 
honest man whom I know — why have you such a passion for 
defending every sort of rascal ? " 

"Your excellency," answered Murazofi', "whoever the man 
may be whom you designate as a rascal, he is still a man. How 
can I help defending a person when I know that half the evil 

* Lyenitzuin had now become the civil governor. 



314 DEAD SOULS. 

•which he does proceeds from coarseness and ignorance ? 
Surely we commit injustice at every step, and are at every 
instant the cause of the misery of a fellow-creature, even when 
we have no evil intentions. You also have certainly been 
guilty of great injustice." 

"What!" exclaimed the prince in amazement, thoroughly 
astounded by the unexpected turn which the conversation had 
taken. 

" Murazoff remained silent for a moment, as though ponder- 
ing, but he finally said, " Well, in the case of DerpennikofF, 
for instance." 

" Afanasiy Vasilievitch, that was a crime against the funda- 
mental laws of the empire : it was tantamount to a betrayal of 
one's native land." 

" I do not seek to justify him. But is it just to condemn a 
young fellow who has been betrayed and led astray by others, 
by reason of his youth ? is it just to condemn him exactly as 
though he had been one of the ringleaders ? The same fate 
overtook DerpennikofF and a certain Voronnoi-Dryannoi, but 
their crimes were certainly not identical." 

" For heaven's sake," rejoined the prince, with perceptible 
emotion, "do you know anything about that matter ? Tell me ; 
it was only recently that I wrote direct to Petersburg in 
reference to a mitigation of Derpennikofi"s punishment." 

" No, your excellency, I did not refer to that. I know 
nothing more about the matter than you do. Although there 
certainly does exist one circumstance which might be used to 
Dei-pennikoft's advantage, only he himself will not consent to 
utilise it, because another would be made to suffer thereby. I 
was merely thinking whether you had not been over-hasty on 
that occasion. But pardon me, your excellency ; I only judge 
according to my weak understanding. You have several times 
enjoined upon me the duty of expressing myself frankly. When 
I was a master over men, I had a great many labourers of all 
sorts, both good and bad ; now, when a peasant has misbehaved 
himself, if you do not take special circumstances and the man's 
former life into consideration, if you do not inquire coolly into 
every particular, you never attain to any real comprehension of 
the matter ; whereas, if you question him as a brother might 
question a brother, he will at once tell you everything of his 
own accord. He will not even ask for mercy, nor will he 
cherish any hard feelings towards anyone, for he will perceive 
clearly that it is not you, but the law, which is punishing him." 

The prince then fell into thought ; but soon numerous voices 



TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AND A LAWYER. 315 

were heard in the large office near the audience chamber. The 
prince was awaiting the woman accused of having forged 
Alexandra Ivanovna's signature to the spurious will. Hearing 
the noise and feeling impatient, he went and opened the door, 
whereupon in the office he saw a number of clerks gathered 
round a man who was stuttering and stammering in answer to 
their questions. Near by there stood the accused woman, 
guarded by three soldiers. While the man stammered and 
gesticulated, she wept and wrung her hands, and at this sight 
some townsfolks who were also present asked permission to ex- 
plain matters to his excellency. The confusion was so great that 
it seemed as if a riot were going on. The prince, in consterna- 
tion, glanced at Murazoff, who took upon himself to call six of 
the oldest of the townsfolk into the governor's private room. It 
then appeared that the stammering man was the husband of the 
woman, that the latter had been arrested by surprise during the 
morning, and had never had anything to do with any will, being 
quite incapable of acting a part or of signing even her own name, 
much less that of Alexandra Ivanovna. The prince, though at 
first much astonished to find, as he thought, that the wrong 
woman had been an-ested (for he was ignorant of the ruse 
resorted to by Samosvistoff in favour of Tchitchikoff), finally 
gave orders for the alarmed couple to be sent home in one of his 
own carriages, and he expressed his regret to them that such a 
mistake had been made. 

At that moment a young official entered the private room and 
remained standing in a respectful attitude with his portfolio. He 
was one of the few who engage con amore in the administration 
of afi'airs, instigated neither by ambition, nor by a desire for 
gain. In fact, he occupied himself with public aflairs because 
be was convinced that his life had been given him for that 
purpose. His business consisted in sifting a matter and in 
picking it to pieces, and explaining it when he had grasped all 
its tangled threads. He felt that his toil, his efi"orts, and his 
sleepless nights were abundantly rewarded if the matter at 
length became intelligible to him, and when he saw that ho 
could report upon it in a few clear and definite words, so that it 
would be patent and comprehensible to ever3'one. 

The prince, seeing his young assistant, greeted him kindly ; 
and then, as he wished to profit by a journey which Murazoff 
was about to make, so as to have various instructions carried 
out in different parts of the province, he began to speak to him 
on the subject. Murazoff readily consented to do whatever the 
prince required, and the latter then resumed : "Those faithless 



316 DEAD SOULS. 

subordinates of mine who by their orgies and their avidity have 
stirred up the famine-stricken districts, have now returned here, 
and I shall give them their dues. I have just seen a most com- 
promising letter, sent by one of them to a certain lawyer here, 
a thorough intriguer, whom I intend to turn out of the city. I 
must now also send some troops into the disaffected districts, 
especially to the one where the Raskolniki (Old Believers) are 
becoming turbulent ; that is, unless you really think that your 
presence and sagacity would suffice to bring those unfortunate 
people to reason." 

" Yes, I think so, prince ; and to make all the surer of suc- 
cess, I shall myself supply the impoverished districts with 
barley and rye. That is a business which I know better than 
your officials do ; I will make personal observation as to what 
is needful. And, if your excellency will permit it, I will talk 
with the Easkolniki. They will converse more freely with a 
civilian like myself. Thus, God knows, I may perhaps be able 
to arrange matters peaceably with them. The officials would 
arrange nothing. A correspondence en the subject would en- 
sue, and they so complicate matters on paper that the affair 
would become even more confused than it now is. I shall ac- 
cept no money from you, for it would be a shame, at such a 
time, to think of one's own purse when people are perishing 
of hunger. I have abundant stores of grain ; I have already 
exported some to Siberia, and I shall send some more next 
summer." 

"God alone can requite you for such a service, Afanasiy 
Vasilievitch. I shall not say another word to you ; you can 
realise the situation yourself ; words are inadequate and useless. 
But with regard to the petition I have received from eighty-two 
officials of the town in favour of eleven of their colleagues con- 
victed of deceit and prevarication, I don't think I have a right 
to let this matter pass without notice. Whatever the peti- 
tioners may say, it would not be just or honourable on my part 
to pardon knaves." 

" By heavens ! your excellency, it is impossible to call them 
that, the more so as many of them are very worthy people. The 
situations in which a man sometimes tinds himself are difficult — 
very, very difficult. There are cases when a man seems to be 
undoubtedly guilty, but when you inquire into the matter, it is 
not he at all who is to blame." 

" But what will they themselves say if I let them off' ? There 
are certainly some among them who will raise their noses 
higher than ever after this, and even say that they had 



TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AND A LA"\VYER. 317 

frightened me. They will be the first to show me disrespect, 
and my authority will be compromised.'' 

" Permit me, your excellency, to communicate to you my ad- 
vice on this subject. Call all the officials together, give them to 
understand that j'ou know everything, represent to them your 
own position in the very terms in which you have just been 
pleased to present it to me, and ask their advice as to what each 
one of them would do in your place." 

" Yes ; you think they will be accessible to nobler senti- 
ments than those connected with intriguing and enriching 
themselves ! Pooh ! they will only laugh at me." 

" I do not think so, your excellency. There is some sense of 
justice left, even in a person who is worse than the common 
run of men. Some Jew might behave in that way, but not a 
Russian. No, your excellency, there is no necessity for your 
concealing your meaning. Speak to them exactly as you have 
been graciously pleased to speak to me. They accuse you of 
being a proud and ambitious man, who will listen to nothing, 
and who trusts in himself alone ; so let them see everything as 
it really is. How can it affect you '? You are in the right. 
Speak to them as though it were not in their presence, but in 
the presence of God himself, that you were making your con- 
fession." 

" Afanasiy Yasilievitch," said the prince thoughtfully, " I will 
think this over; and in the meanwhile, I thank you sincerely 
for your advice." 

" And will your excellency order Tchitchikoff's release ?" 

" Well, yes, I will. Tell Tchitchikoff that he is to take him- 
self off as speedily as possible, within twenty-four hours ; and 
the farther he goes, the better. I should never forgive him if 
he fell under my hand again." 

Murazoff went straight from the prince to Tchitchikoff. Ho 
found our hero already in fine spirits, calmly occupied with the 
very excellent dinner which had been brought to him from a 
very good restaurant. From the very first phrases of the con- 
versation, the old man perceived that Tchitchikofi' had somehow 
contrived to win over some of the cunning officials. He even 
realised that the invisible influence of the crafty lawyer had 
been exercised in the case. 

" Listen to me, Pavel Ivanovitch," said he ; "I have brought 
you your freedom, on conditions that you quit the city in- 
stantly. Collect your eflects, and God be with j'ou ! Don't de- 
lay your departure for a moment, for matters may grow worse. 
I am aware that a certain person is instigating you to your pre- 



318 DEAD SOULS. 

sent course ; but I can inform you in confidence that certain 
affairs are now on the point of disclosure which are of such a 
nature that no earthly powers will be able to save him. Of 
course, he will wish to ruin others in his fall ; but, no matter, 
the day of reckoning is at hand. When I left you just now you 
were in a favourable state of mind, much more favourable 
than you are now. My advice to you was not lightly given. 
Don't be so eager for that wealth for which men quarrel and 
cut each other's throats. Believe me, Pavel Ivanovitch, until 
men cast aside all the things for the sake of which they gnaw 
and devour each other upon this earth, until they direct their 
attention to the rational acquisition of spiritual wealth, true 
opulence and order will never be established upon earth. Days 
of famine are approaching for the whole nation, and for each 
one separately. That is clear. Say what you like, the body 
does depend upon the soul. If you wish it to progress as it 
should, don't think any more of dead souls, but of your own 
living soul, and, with God's aid, adopt a different course of life. 
I also shall take my departure to-morrow. Make haste to 
leave, for if you don't a misfortune will happen to you in my 
absence." 

So saying, the old man quitted the room. Tchitchikoff grew 
thoughtful, and he concentrated his mind upon the significance 
of life. " Murazoft' is right," said he. " It is time to enter on 
a different path ! " 

So saying, he left his prison, one of the guards carrying his 
dressing-case to the outer gate. God alone knows how delighted 
Selifan and Petrushka were over their master's release. 

"Well, my good fellows," said Tchitchikoff", turning to them 
in an amiable way, " you must harness up and start." 

" All right, Pavel Ivanovitch," said Selifan. " The road must 
be laid by this time, for a good deal of snow has fallen, and it 
will be fine for sledging. It really is time to get out of this ac- 
cursed city. We ourselves are so tired of it that we don't want 
to stay in it a day longer." 

" Go to the carriage-maker, and tell him to fit some runners 
to the calash," said Tchitchikoff. He did not care to pay any 
farewell calls on anyone. He felt awkward after all that had 
passed — the more so, as many scandals of the most unpleasant 
description were in circulation about him in the city. He 
avoided all encounters, and quietly went to the merchant from 
whom he had previously purchased the Navarino smoke-and- 
flame coloured cloth ; of this, he bought four arshins more to 
serve for a coat and trousers, and then he directed his course 



TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AND A LAWYER, 319 

to the same tailor as before. In consideration of double pay, 
the fellow agreed to expedite matters ; and the tailor colony sat 
down to work all night, with needle, goose, and teeth, so that 
the coat was ready on the morrow, although a little late. It was 
excellent, exactly like the first one. But, alas ! Tchitchikofl' ob- 
served that there was now a smooth white spot on his head ; 
and he wailed mournfully. " And why need I have indulged in 
such violent grief ? I ought not to have torn my hair for a long 
time to come," 

After settling with the tailor, he at length left the town. He 
was no longer the Tchitchikoft" of former days ; he was merely 
the ruin of the old Tchitchikofl". His soul, by its internal condi- 
tion, might have been compared to a building which has been 
pulled to pieces, in order that a new one may be constructed 
from it, which new one has not yet been begun, as the final 
plans have not yet arrived from the architect, so that the work- 
men are left in a state of indecision. 

Old Murazoff" took his departure an hour before Tchitchikoft", 
in a kibitka in company with his clerk, Potapuitch ; and one 
hour after Tchitchikoft"s departure, an order was circulated 
through the town to the efiect that the prince wished to see 
everyone of the oificials on the occasion of his approaching 
trip to Petersburg. 

The entire official force of the city, beginning with the civil 
governor and ending with a titular councillor, assembled in the 
grand hall of the governor-general's residence. There were all 
the heads of offices and departments, councillors, assessors, 
Sourbiters, Rednoses, Blowhards ;"^" those who had taken bribes, 
those who had not ; those whose souls were crooked, those 
whose souls were getting crooked, and those whose souls were 
not crooked at all. All awaited the entrance of the governor- 
general in considerable excitement and trepidation. The prince 
made his appearance with a face which was neither gloomy nor 
pleasant ; his glance was firm, so was his step. The entire 
official assemblage bowed, some of them to their very girdles. 
The prince responded with a slight inclination of the head, and 
then began as follows : — 

" As I am on the point of starting for Petersburg, I have 
thought it proper to have an interview with you, and I will ex- 
plain to you in some degree the cause of my adopting this 
course. A very disgraceful aff'air has occurred here in our 
very midst. I presume that many of those now present know 

* Translations of epithets employed as proper names. 



320 DEAD SOULS. 

to what matter I refer. This affair has led to the detection of 
other matters not less disgraceful, in which men whom I had 
hitherto regarded as honest have become involved. I am even 
acquainted with their secret purposes to confuse and muddle 
everything in such a manner that it will be absolutely im- 
possible to arrive at a clear knowledge of the situation. I 
know who is the leader in all this, and all about his secret 
action, although he has very cleverly kept in the background 
all through. But the point lies here — that I intend to investi- 
gate this matter, not by a formal investigation of the papers, 
but by swift trial, as in time of war ; and I hope that the 
emperor will grant me the right to do so, when I have laid the 
whole business before him. In this case, as there exists no 
possibility of carrying out the proceedings in the usual form, 
since cabinets full of documents have been burned, and since 
eflbrts are being made by means of forged denunciations and 
other false extraneous testimony to confuse this matter, which 
is dark enough already, I consider a court-martial to be the sole 
resource, and I should like to gather your opinion on the 
subject." 

The prince paused, as though awaiting a reply. All stood 
with their eyes fixed on the floor. Many of them were 
pallid. 

" I am also acquainted with another transaction," resumed 
his excellency, " although those engaged in it feel perfectly 
sure that it cannot be possibly known to anyone. The prose- 
cution will in this instance be vigorously pressed ; for I shall 
myself be the informant and the plaintiff, and I shall present 
convincing proofs." 

One of the official assemblage now shuddered, and some of 
the more timid fairly took alarm. 

"As a matter of course," continued the prince, "the chief 
ringleader will be punished by the loss of his rank and pro- 
perty, and the rest by removal from office. Possibly many 
innocent men will suffer. But what is to be done ? The affair 
is a very dishonourable one, and people cry aloud for justice. 
Although I am aware that this will not even serve as a lesson 
to others — for in the place of those who are discharged, others 
will make their appearance, and the very men who have hitherto 
been honest will become dishonest, and the very men who 
are honoured with my confidence will deceive and betray me — 
still, in spite of all this, I am forced to act rigorously, for the 
case is one in which punishment is requisite. I know that I 
shall be accused of harshness and cruelty, but I also know 



TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AND A LAAVYER. 321 

that I shall be less blamed by those for whom I must now 
become simply an instrument of justice, destined to fall upon 
their heads." 

An involuntary shudder passed over the faces of all who 
were present. The prince was calm. Neither wrath nor 
mental emotion of any kind was reflected upon his counten- 
ance. 

"Well," he continued, " the man in whose hands the fate of 
many lies, and whom no appeals could hitherto move, now 
appeals to you all. All shall be forgotten, wiped out, forgiven ; 
I will myself intercede for all, if you will comply with my 
request. This is what I ask. I know that dishonesty cannot 
be GX,tirpated by any means whatever, neither by terror nor by 
chastisement. It has become too deeply rooted. The dis- 
honourable practice of taking bribes has come to be a necessity, 
and indispensable even for those who were not born with 
dishonest instincts. I know that it is impossible for many men 
to resist the general current. But I am now obliged — at a 
sacred and decisive moment, when the salvation of the country 
is in question, when every citizen contributes all he has, and 
sacrifices everything to relieve his starving countrymen — I am 
obliged to make a proclamation to all those who still have a 
Russian heart in their bosoms, and who have any comprehen- 
sion of the significance of the word nobility. Why discuss 
which of us is the most to blame ? I am perhaps more to 
blame than all the others ; I may have been too stern with you 
in the beginning ; I may through my superfluous suspicion 
have repulsed such of you as honestly desired to be of service 
to me. But if those I refer to really loved justice and the 
welfare of their country, they should not have taken oftence at 
the haughtiness of my demeanour ; they should have stifled 
their own self-pride, and sacrificed their own personalities. I 
should have noted their self-sacrifice and their lofty sentiments, 
and have finally accepted wise and useful advice from them. 
Nevertheless, the subordinate ought rather to mould himself to 
the temper of his chief, than the chief to the temper of his 
subordinates. This is, at all events, more lawful and easier, 
since many subordinates have but one chief, whereas each chief 
has a hundred subordinates. But we will now lay aside the 
question as to who is the most to blame. The point lies here — 
that we are called upon to save our country ; that our father- 
land is being ruined, not by the incursions of twenty foreign 
nations, but by ourselves ; that beside the lawful government, 
another government has been established which is much more 



S22 DEAD SOULS. 

powerful than any lawful one. We have fixed our own condi- 
tions ; everything has had a price set upon it, and these prices have 
even become universally known. And no ruler, were he even 
wiser than all the rulers and lawgivers in the world, can remedy 
this evil, no matter how greatly he limits the action of dis- 
honest officials by appointing other officials to overlook them. 
All means indeed will prove unavailing until each one of us 
feels that he must prepare to repel dishonesty, in the same 
manner in which he armed himself at the epoch of the great 
national rising. I now appeal to you as a Russian, as a man of 
one blood with yourselves. I turn to those among you who 
have the least comprehension of what nobility of thought con- 
sists in. I invite them to remember their duty — duty, which 
presents itself to man wherever and whatever he maybe. I in- 
vite them to examine their duties more closely, and the obliga- 
tions of the service they belong to." 

"And now, gentlemen," added the prince, "will you now be 
kind enough to follow me into the adjoining apartment ? "* 

As the prince uttered these words, he made a sign to the 
lackej'S who were standing on each side of one of the doors of 
the audience-room, and this door was instantly fiung open. 
The governor-general then passed into the largest apartment of 
his official quarters ; the entire assembly folloAved him there 
and the door was closed again. This apartment, which was 
surrounded by writing-tables, was lighted from above, and had 
in all five doors, all of which were closed ; in front of each, 
inside the room, stood two gendarmes, armed and motionless. 
This circumstance seemed to add to the gravity of the language 
which they had just listened to. Still another peculiarity 
attracted general attention : only a few^ chairs usually stood 
near each of the writing-tables; but on this occasion, the chairs 
were considerably more numerous than usual, and on the 
tables in front of the chairs there lay sheets of white paper, 
and on the paper freshly cut pens. 

The prince now addressed the company in these words : — 

* Here Gogol's text comes to an end, as stated in our preface. How- 
ever, in 1857 a book was published at Kieft' under the title of " Continuation 
and Conclusion of Bend Souls, " by Yastchenko Zakhartchenko. What fol- 
lows is taken from that work, in the belief that] it will please those who 
like to have their stories complete, and serve as a curiosity to others. 
The MS. destroyed by Gogol was no doubt very different ; and the follow- 
ing matter must be regarded as a mere experiment, such as has been 
made at various times in England by second and third-rate writers in at- 
tempting to complete the unfinished work of some great novelist — as 
witness Thackeray's " Denis Duval," and Dickens's "Mystery of Edwia 
Drood." 



TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AND A LAWYER. 323 

" Gentlemen, the request which I am about to make to you 
is this : please to seat yourselves, take your pens, and write 
down freely on those sheets of paper j-our opinion of the com- 
munication which I have just made to you, and of which I feel 
sure you have not missed a word. You will not require more 
than twenty minutes to enunciate your sentiments as to the 
state of things which I have described to you, and as to the 
measures which I ought to take. At all events, I wish to have 
the one hundred and sixty-two sheets of paper written, signed, 
and dated by your own hands within half an hour's time." 

After speaking these last words, he withdrew into his study. 
Half an hour later he re-entered the room, had all the sheets of 
paper collected and then courteously dismissed the assemblage. 
All the officials retired, either thoughtful or depressed, and 
returned home, without dreaming even of questioning one 
another. 

After the scrutiny, which was conducted under the prince's 
own eyes, twenty-seven humble resignations were laid on one 
side. The twenty-eighth, however, was written with a noble 
and profound sentiment of wounded pride. It came from an 
exalted personage, who, moreover, called in person, and who 
was immediately admitted. The explanation and the conduct 
of this official, who had resigned, indicated reviving loyalty and 
a general return to better sentiments. The prince promised 
to add a marginal note to the petition which this person had 
addressed to the sovereign, in order to obtain his discharge ; 
he then undertook to preside in person over a tribunal of arbi- 
tration, which Lyenitzuin besought him to establish im- 
mediately, and in the presence of which he was desirous of 
terminating, in an honourable manner, the scandalous suit, 
which had arisen between himself and the other interested 
parties with regard to the testamentary dispositions of his late 
relative, Khlobuyoff's aunt. 

This matter having been arranged, the prince wrote a cir- 
cular, copies of which were despatched that same evening to 
the twenty-seven scamps of divers ranks who had been led to 
acknowledge themselves guilty on the spot. Each one was 
invited to consider whether it would not be appropriate, whilst 
sending in a petition for permission to resign, which really 
amounted to an appeal to the sovereign for mercy, whether it 
would not be appropriate to support this petition by an apology 
to his fellow-men, in the shape of some good deed — for example, 
the gift of some money to the poor of the district who were suf- 
fering from famine. Then they all were to name to which of the 



324 DEAD SOULS. 

Eastern governments theywisted to retire with the simple rank 
of citizen. The prince's circular procured for the poor inha- 
bitants of the distrijCt, now sorely afflicted with famine, a sum 
of nearly one hundred thousand roubles, which was distributed 
among them. 

At the expiration of three months not a single one of these 
twenty-seven rascals remained in the town. We do not know 
whether any others afterwards arrived in their stead, but these 
were all forced to quit the government, never to appear there 
more. As for the lawyer, we do not know whether it was of 
his own free will or in consequence of certain orders he received, 
that he decided to make a prolonged sojourn in the vicinity of 
Lake Baikal ; however, fifty days after the departure of our 
hero the ex-advocate was installed in a small house in the 
western suburb of Irkutsk. There, in the midst of gardens, 
like Diocletian after he had abdicated the imperial throne, our 
fallen lawyer, in the lack of employment for his legal talents, 
innocently occupied himself in cultivating vegetables and pre- 
paring all sorts of preserves. 

His excellency the civil governor, Lyenitzuin, in company 
with his wife and their charming infant, set out on their side 
for Nice, where they intended to spend the winter. As for 
Khlobuyoff", in the course of his tour of penitence he had raised 
his humble mission almost to the level of a sort of apostleship. 
Treasures of really even angelic eloquence had been discovered 
in this man, for so long a time both a dissipated and frivolous 
fellow, and the efiects of his words on the people far surpassed 
those which Murazoft' had hoped for. The repentant Lyenitzuin, 
it should be mentioned, bought back the hereditary domain of 
Khlobuyofi', who, on his mission being accomphshed, learnt that 
his land has been restored to him tree from all encumbrances, 
abundantly provided with agricultural implements, with grain, 
horses, oxen, and flocks, and managed for a year, free of cost, by 
an upright agriculturist known to Murazofi' and Kostanzhoglo. 
Moreover, Lyenitzuin decided to pay Khlobuyoff an annuity of 
twenty thousand roubles, with reversion, after his death, to his 
wife, and, in default of him and his wife, to their eldest child. 

But let us return to our hero, and let us see what thoughts 
occupy his mind after his rescue from a most perilous situation, 
by precisely the very matters which seemed destined to pre- 
cipitate his ruin ; that is to say, by the deluge of accusations 
brought against him, by the unexampled complications which 
had arisen, and by his arbitrary imprisonment, which at first 
seemed merely a preliminary to Siberia or the scafi'old. 



MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 



CHAPTER XVII. 

MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. HIS OPINIONS IN THE 

LAP OF FORTUNE. 

More than a month had elapsed since Tchitchikoff had enjoyed 
the seven hours of sleep per day which are considered indis- 
pensable to the health of man ; and of late, repose seemed to 
have totally abandoned him at night. Thus the gentle, easy 
motion of the sleigh now proved conducive to repose, and, 
stretched out comfortably in his calash, he slept for fourteen 
hours. He woke himself at last by a powerful snore resembling 
the detonation of a blunderbuss, followed by a sneeze of the 
most sonorous description ; and the commotion which accom- 
panied this double explosion was a double test, to boot, for the 
admirable springs of the ancient calash. A dog broke his chain, 
a cock set his numerous family the example of a headlong flight ; 
two peasants ran out into their yards to see who could be thus 
firing close to their dwellings; a woman, trembling like a leaf 
and standing with her mouth open, let fall a large jar of clotted 
milk on the threshold of a barn. However, Selifan and Petrushka, 
who were not deceived as to the nature of the phenomenon, 
rushed straight to their master's couch. Tchitchikoff, as soon 
as he could understand things about him, learned that the 
horses had been obliged to halt in order to regain their breath 
and strength, and that his people, after having kept their seats 
on the box for nearly fifteen hours by the clock, had taken 
advantage of this enforced halt to refresh themselves a little on 
some cabbage, milk, and hot bread. 

Our hero entered the public room of the rustic hostelry where 
his servants had fed, and there devoured by himself the third of 
a fine kitlei.i/aka,* weighing between six and eight pounds, which 
the landlord had prepared for a wedding in the village ; then, 
the horses having been once more harnessed to the carriage, he 
paid his reckoning, resumed his seat, and set out again on his 
journey, after having fully informed himself as to the situation 
of the estates of a certain Dobryakoff, who, five days prior to 
the imprisonment of Tchitchikoft", had received from the latter a 
deposit of three very heavy coffers. 

Our hero found Dobryakoff's house well enough, and also the 
coffers which were awaiting him, but not Dobryakoff" himself, 

* A fish-pasty, the contents of which have been previously described. 



326 DEAD SOULS. 

for he was absent. The uncle of that gentleman, an old man 
over eighty years of age, gave TchitchikofF and his servants a 
perfect dinner, delivered the coffers up to his visitor, and only 
allowed him to depart after a formal promise to return shortly 
and visit his nephew. 

Our hero soon cruelly repented of the precipitation with which 
he abandoned that hospitable roof, where he had not considered 
it prudent to remain on account of the burden which he was 
carrying away. He had hardly resumed his journey when the 
sky clouded over, the wind rose, and terrible squalls of snow 
whirled around him ; every trace of the road disappeared, and 
the tempest was all the more alarming since it was united with 
sharp cold. 

The travellers, who had lost their way completely, wandered 
about at random, still advancing until after midnight with infinite 
difficulty, and not without great danger, when at length the 
despair which had seized hold of them was followed by a feeble 
ray of hope ; the hurricane diminished in violence, the darkness 
became less impenetrable, and they fancied they could see a 
clearing, surrounded by thick underwood, stretching before them. 
Fortunately they kept the wind behind them, and they skilfully 
tacked and tacked whilst in the valleys formed by the thousands 
of snow heaps, which were alternately raised and carried off by 
the tempest. During an interval of enforced halt made by the 
horses, who were overcome with fatigue, they heard the barking 
of dogs. This auspicious sound restored a little courage, even to 
the steeds, and five minutes later they could distinguish some 
lights in the distance. 

They were those of the hunting-box of a wealthy nobleman, 
who was staying there with a considerable number of friends 
and neighbours. His whole pack of hounds was assembled 
there, with all his huntsmen — a truly royal establishment; while 
the company was gathered in the principal apartment, having 
just concluded a copious and splendid supper, which had been 
wound up with lavish libations. It was at this moment that 
Pavel Ivanovitch was announced to the nobleman, Prince 
Kutinin, as a traveller who had lost his way, and who requested 
his excellency's hospitality for the night. The prince, who was 
busy having several card-tables prepared, ordered that the 
stranger should, first of all, be supplied with a good supper and 
a fire, and that he should afterwards be presented to him, unless 
indeed he preferred to go to bed. 

At the expiration of an hour, Tchitchikofi" was in the drawing- 
room, seated beside the prince, who had just won from a young 



MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFE. 327 

gentleman, at cards, first his ready money, then two estates he 
owned, next his stud, and finally his equipages, weapons and 
dogs. 

The prince was desirous of learning who was the guest whom 
the storm had sent him. Tchitchikoff posed as a man who, 
wearied of the benumbing influence of towns, was in search of 
an estate and a wife, as he henceforth wished to live a family 
life, and to indulge in his tastes for agriculture. Upon hearing 
this, the prince informed him of a magnificent estate at a dis- 
tance of thirty versts or so, which belonged to a young lady 
who knew how to manage her property extremely well, and who 
would no doubt be charmed to make our hero's acquaintance, 
and, better still, to bestow herself and all her possessions upon 
him. Then he invited Tcbitchikoft' to join in a game of faro, 
that was, if he felt inclined to tempt fortune. But our hero 
at the moment had to give some orders to his servants. He 
had himself shown to the small chamber which had been 
assigned to him, and an apology was made to him, as, in order 
to reach it, he was forced to pass through the kitchen. On 
entering his apartment, followed by Petrushka, he beheld the 
three coffers ranged against the wall ; and he gazed at them 
intently with a contraction of his brows, for they constituted a 
very heavy burden for him to carry about with him in all his 
peregi-inations. Suddenly the idea occurred to him to ask 
Petrushka if he knew who the man was with a piercing glance, 
whom he had seen sitting on a stool near the kitchen fire. 

" He is a Jew," answered Petrushka, "and is said to be worth 
millions. Chance always leads men of his class to places where 
fortunes fly about." 

" Beg him to come here, then, and leave me alone with him ; 
but try to borrow a scale and some weights, and remain in the 
kitchen near at hand." 

The Jew was brought in, the scales were procured, and, at 
the expiration of half an hour, the three embarrassing coffers* 
had disappeared from the room, and perhaps even from the 
house. Tchitchikoff returned to the drawing-room without 
having opened his cash-box, but with seventy-five thousand 
good roubles in his pocket-book, a portion of which he decided 
to risk at play. He had the best of luck ; and the finest piece 
of all was, undoubtedly, that, having won thirty thousand 
roubles without anyone paying any heed to it, lie had the 
pleasure of seeing the whole company, overwhelmed with 

* These coffers contained the gold and silver plalc ■vv-hich was missing 
afcer the death of Khlobuyoff'a aunt. 



328 DEAD SOULS. 

fatigue, break up into groups, and, preceded by lackeys armed 
with torches, retire to their rooms. It was now five o'clock in 
the morning. 

Tchitchikoff did not sleep. The weather was now perfectly 
ealm, and the moonlight superb. He pushed his bed towards 
the door, in such a manner as to barricade it, and opened his 
cash-box on a large stool, quite close to him. Then, sitting up 
in bed, with the white coverlet thrown picturesquely round his 
shoulders, he set to work to count up his capital. As he was 
completing this intoxicating operation, he beheld a man, who 
seemed to be observing him, rise up beneath his window. He 
instantly darted to the casement, armed with a slipper, held as 
though it were a pistol ; and his gesture imparted a comical 
fright to the prowler, in whom Tchitchikoif suddenly recognised 
his coachman, Selifan. He called him, and gave him formal 
orders to harness the horses and be ready to set out at day- 
break. 

Tchitchikoif' s double team was not in a state to travel even 
ten versts, dragging the calash and towing the britchka behind ; 
but, as luck would have it, there chanced to be fifteen stout 
post-horses stalled in a coach-house there, and they were to 
start at daybreak for a posting station situated nineteen versts 
away, and in the very direction of the estate of the wealthy 
spinster whom Prince Kutinin had alluded to on the evening 
before. Tchitchikofi''s own horses were accordingly attached 
behind his carriage, so that the trip proved only a promenade 
for the poor beasts. After three hours' repose at an inn, which 
was situated on the boundary-line between two provinces, they 
were harnessed in earnest, and, going at a gentle trot, they 
were able to reach the house where happiness was possibly 
awaiting Tchitchikofi". 

Our hero had thought it necessary, before covering this short 
distance of fifteen versts, to take minute pains with his toilet. 
In vain was he informed that Appolina Mercurievna had had 
twenty suitors, all of whom she haJ successively ill-used and 
dismissed; that she was proud, fantastic, choleric, and often 
cruel ; that she made her twenty -five hundred souls sutler more 
than they would sufi"er in hell, and that she was abetted in this 
task by a woman, who, like herself, had remained unmarried, 
and who, by her redoubtable activity, appeared a hundred times 
more ferocious than her noble mistress. However, our friend 
wished to see and to judge for himself, and so he presented 
himself, was duly received, paid his court, pleased the lady, 
became enamoured of her somewhat vigorous charms, made his 



MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 329 

offer, and was accepted. Then a day was fixed for the wed- 
ding. 

There was great joy among the gentlewoman's serfs, on 
hearing that a man would soon become their master, and they 
imagined that this master was an angel from heaven, a saviour, 
who had been sent to them by Providence. hope ! what gulfs 
of misery and sorrow dost thou now and again embellish with 
a fleeting ray! Meanwhile the lady's relatives, who had been 
invited to the wedding, arrived from all directions. One of them, 
alas ! came from the very town whence Tchitchikoff had come, 
and this man privately told his cousin of all that he knew, or 
thought he knew, respecting our hero ; and this occurred on the 
very eve of the day appointed for the nuptials. Appolina having 
heard that Tchitchikoff had begged mercy from the governor- 
general for his crimes, in the name of his wife and children, 
knew all she cared to know of the monster. She awaited him, 
surrounded by all her guests, who, not having been forewarned, 
had assumed looks of delight and pleasure ; and at the moment 
when Tchitchikoff" entered the room, and hastened forward to 
kiss her hand, that same hand suddenly showered down upon 
his rosy cheeks a perfect hailstorm of blows. And in the 
meanwhile this infuriated spinster poured forth a torrent of 
frightful language, and ordered her lackeys to hound this fine 
gentleman to his calash, which was all harnessed and packed 
ready for the road. 

Our hero, who had fancied that he had finally reached the goal 
of his laboux-s, the innocent and laudable object of his expe- 
ditions, who had seemed to be upon the point of marrying, of 
acquiring some fine domains, of enriching his vassals, of devoting 
himself to a country life, in the bosom of an amiable family, and 
of conquering, by dint of sagacity, order, and prudence, the 
respect and esteem of the whole world, then once more had to 
pass through the hands of perverse men. The first of these 
was a petty squire, the personal enemy of General Betrishtchefl', 
to whom he was so unfortunate as to mention that general. 
This mad and fantastic gentleman, who, as the result of nume- 
rous excesses, had reached the highest pitch of lunacy, dragged 
our hero oft' to his house, and constrained him to take part in 
one of those excessive orgies which seem likely to be followed 
either by madness or death. This man indeed compelled Tchi- 
tchikoff, under penalty of death, to drink more spirituous liquors 
in the space of two hours than he had drunk in the whole pre- 
ceding thirty years ; and then he had him kissed by fifty men, 



330 DEAD SOULS. 

and immediately afterwards by fifty women, wbo obeyed bis 
commands. 

After tbis trial, tbe most terrible wbicb be bad so far endured, 
our bero escaped from tbe dangerous freaks of tbis tyrant of tbe 
steppes ; and a few days later be fell in witb a great nobleman, 
an Anglomaniac prince, wbo was perfectly infatuated witb bis 
stud and witb sport, and who made him play a ridiculous part, by 
forcing bim to adopt a borsey mania, wbicb was quite out of con- 
sonance witb bis personal appearance. Nevertheless, on tbe 
advice of tbis nobleman, be betook himself to a neighbouring 
locality to inspect an estate wbicb was for sale there. 

In tbe bouse there, a young fellow who was in the diplomatic 
service, bad just arrived from Petersburg, for the purpose of 
dividing tbe inheritance of a deceased uncle with bis sister. 
Tbis rustic damsel — a young girl of nineteen — like a genuine, 
pure-blooded inhabitant of the steppes, was still more terrible 
and ferocious than the Appolina of whom we have spoken. So 
our bero fled from tbe bouse, where tbe most violent scenes 
■were of constant occurrence between this Amazon, who always 
had her whip in her hand, and her brother, whom she drove to 
extremities. It seemed as if it would all result in some unfor- 
tunate affair, of wbicb Tcbitchikoff did not care to be a witness. 
With regard to the dispute, he had recognised tbe fact that both 
tbe diplomat and bis sister bad set their minds on the same 
thing : the former was resolved to obtain, by ruse or knavery, 
tbe larger part of the property ; and she, on her side, was no 
less determined to obtain fully two-thirds of the inheritance, but 
by means of strife, ill-usage, scandal, and transports of rage. 

At length, after having sold one hundred dead souls at a 
wretched price, to a man named Bosnyakoff, and to some of the 
petty officials of a town of tbe tenth rank, he was led twenty 
days later by business to tbe city of Krasuoi, situated in the 
district of tbe same name, and in the government of Bubni. 
There be installed himself at an inn, ordered his dinner, and 
while waiting to have it served him in bis own room, be began 
to peruse "The Moscow Gazette," which the waiter had 
just brought in. Therein be read bis full name and a descrip- 
tion of bis person, with an order which had been sent to all 
tbe towns to arrest bim and deliver him up to justice, for 
having bought, mortgaged, and sold a considerable number of 
dead souls, and for having committed in various governments 
divers deeds prohibited by the laws. Ten minutes later, and 
before Selifan bad had time to harness tbe horses and to fetch 
the luggage, the police appeared, headed by the gorodnitchii/, 



MISERY AND GRANDEtJR OF TCHITCHlKOfP. 331 

or mayor of the town, a man about fifty years of age, who was 
very expert in all sorts of disputes. He first surveyed Tchi- 
tchikoft", his fine linen, and his general appearance of prosperity; 
he reflected upon his title of collegiate councillor, and took an 
interest in him ; and then he cast a significant glance at his subor- 
dinates, who were attached to him. These subordinates retired 
into the corridor and discreetly closed the door. 

" Listen, Pavel Ivanovitch," said the municipal ofiicer. 
"You have been arrested on the complaint of a person 
named BosnyakoS', who is a very malicious fellow, and wants 
to blacken you. I can send someone to him, and for five hundred 
roubles my messenger will contract with him to withdraw his 
complaint. I must tell you that he has accused you of having 
traflicked in dead souls of both sexes, and of having mortgaged 
a large number to the State Bank." 

" In any case I have not done violence to anyone in either 
buying, selling, or mortgaging." 

•' No, you have not ; but, now, if you have any money, say 
so, and I am on your side. For how much have you mortgaged 
your dead souls to the State Bank ? " 

'• For eighty thousand roubles." 

" You must pay that back promptly ; in fact, you must de- 
posit the sum to-morrow. You understand me '? " 

*' I will do so. But I have still a thousand souls, from whom 
I shall never derive any profit, since I am under arrest." 

" Never mind ; I will find a way for you to mortgage them 
very profitably." 

" Pray do me that favour." 

The dialogue then proceeded as follows : 

The mayor (aside) : " Tell me aloud that youonly have five 
thousand roubles with you, and nothing else in the whole 
world. (Aloud.) State, sir, what sum you possess." 

Tchitchihof {((loud): "I possess five thousand roubles in 
silver, which constitute my entire property." 

The mayor (aloud) : " Hand me those five thousand roubles, 
sir." 

Tchitchikojf (aloud) : " Here they are." 

The mayor, after opening the door : " That is all right, sir ; 
don't be alarmed about a wretched intrigue. [Me counts the Jive 
thousand roubles, and divides it into two unequal jjfl?-^A'.] Five 
thousand. Good ! I will take these four thousand five hundred 
and fifty roubles, which will suffice to pay your personal ex- 
penses and the current cost of the ati'air ; the police will render 
you an account of your money at any time you may ask for it. 



332 DEAD SOULS. 

The four hundred and fifty which you see in this pocket-book, I 
shall place in your valise ; they will constitute the sum which 
was found when an inventory was taken. You understand me, 
I hope ? His excellency the military governor orders that 
you shall be kept under guard until he has been more fully in- 
formed by the police ; and as the police quarters are in my 
house, you will live at my house, if you please, with me, and 
just as I do." 

This mayor had hardly any fortune, but ho had kept on good 
terms with all classes of society. When a man impressed him 
as being rather good than evil, and when he could render him 
a service, he entered into the business with a great deal of zeal 
and goodwill. He had, above all things, a passion for a respect- 
able air. On the present occasion he had the happiness of 
arranging, for less than one hundred and fifty roubles, all his 
prisoner's aff"airs, and in addition he enabled him to derive a 
very good profit from the thousand souls which were left on his 
hands. Then he was pleased to alloAV Tchitchikoflf to marry 
his daughter Marya, who was young, docile, fresh, and ignorant, 
it is true — indeed, utterly insignificant ; but she was very good 
and very afi'ectionate all the same, the best sort of wife that 
could be desired for oifcr hero, and whom we could wish for the 
majority of our friends and acquaintances. 

A good third of the gentry of the government took part in 
the wedding, which lasted for three days without a break ; and 
the newly-married couple retired to a very fine estate which 
Tchitchikoff" had purchased, at a convenient distance from 
the city of Krasnoi, and where, in the space of ten years, amid 
satisfactions of all sorts, repose, and true happiness, he saw his 
first nine children born and grow up. Our hero occupied his 
leisure with agriculture, kitchen-gardening, and even with ar- 
boriculture ; he regulated his expenses in perfect accordance 
with his revenues ; and in order not to lose a certain talent of 
the pen which he possessed, he thought proper to gather 
together his memoirs, and commit them to paper in the form 
of notes, whence, from all appearance, and thanks to our 
author, has proceeded most of the present work. 

In the eleventh year of this unclouded happiness, such as 
but very few honest men taste of, Pavel Ivanovitch felt 
troubled ; he felt weary of so much repose, so much health, 
so much luck, monotony, uniformity, and calm felicity. His 
notes were abandoned, he received the caresses of his young 
family in an absent-minded way, and he no longer went beyond 
his grounds. As he wandered about his yard, he reminded 



MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 333 

Selifan and Petrushka of the days of their former peregrina- 
tions ; he endeavoured to awaken in these burly men some 
desire for an excursion in the fashion of the olden days ; but 
they had become fond of a sedentary life as they grew old, 
and they did not understand his meaning. He gazed upon 
them with scorn, and felt enraged with himself for having 
addressed the brutes except in the way of giving orders. 

One day, when the spring had arrived, however, he informed 
these ancient relics, and without tolerating a single word of 
objection, that on the morrow, the fifth of May, at daybreak, 
the calash was to stand ready harnessed at the door, and 
that they were to hold themselves prepared for an excursion 
of several months' duration. He proposed to go and visit 
Tentyotnikoft' and the fair Ulinka, whose happiness he 
regarded as his own work. He should thus learn whether 
General Betrishtcheff was still of this world. He flattered 
himself that in any case he would be welcome, at least among 
a portion of his extensive circle of relations ; and circum- 
stances alone had prevented his revisiting the Tentyotnikofl' 
family, as it was his duty to do, having made a promise to that 
efiect. 

They set out ; but at the fourteenth verst, and five versts 
away from any wheelwright or blacksmith, two spokes and the 
rim of one of the wheels of the ancient calash broke. Tchi- 
tchikofl' passed the night in a miserable village inn. On the 
following day, his constant presence in the artisan's shop having 
produced no result except that of retarding the work, through 
afl'ording the rustic so many opportunities to chatter, he was 
forced to make up his mind to pass a second night in the so- 
called inn, which was a hut. And when at length, on the second 
day, the wheels were all in good condition, the master felt ill. 
Selifan and Petrushka exchanged a glance, and, without having 
received any orders or instructions, the animals took the road 
for home of their own free will. Marya learnt all, but she care- 
fully refrained from interrogating her husband as to the cause of 
his prompt return, and from laughing at his lamentable tale — a 
piece of discretion which induced Tchitchikoff, after he had re- 
lated what had taken place, to ridicule his project and his dis- 
comfiture. 

He then subscribed to seven Russian papers and to three 
periodical foreign publications — two French and one German — 
although he did not know a hundred words of French, and not 
six of German, 

Reading did not long suit his taste, however. On the other 



334 DEAD SOULS. 

hand, lie took some pleasure in caressing his children, though 
he never thought of teaching or reproving theua. He considered 
that the education of .children was woman's work ; and, with 
this view, he had provided his wife with an old Swiss gover- 
ness, to whom he rarely spoke, not knowing very well what to 
say to her. 

At last Tchitchikoff reverted, in spite of himself, to the idea 
of a journey, of some excursion or other, but without any defi- 
nite plan. Whilst he was yet in a state of indecision, the end 
of the autumn and the whole of the winter passed by. How- 
ever, the triennial election of magistrates was soon to take place 
in the chief town of the government — a town which was ordi- 
narily quite deserted and sleepy, and which he had only visited 
at the time of his marriage, and on the occasion of purchasing 
his property. He had only spent six days there, and those in- 
cessantly in the courts. Several gentlemen, however, now came 
to sound his intentions, and to seek his vote ; many of the out- 
going magistrates, who wished to retain their positions, or even 
to obtain more important ones, hastened to pay court to him. 
Time sped on. It was a magnificent opportunity for escaping, 
at least for three weeks, from the uniformity and monotony of a 
prolonged sojourn in the country. 

Our hero took the greatest delight in the preparations for his 
trip. He carefully inspected the condition of his fresh vehicle, 
recommended Selifan and Petrushka not to get drunk during 
his absence, for in lieu of these old retainers he preferred to 
take with him his new valet and his wife's coachman, a man of 
very fine appearance, who spoke little and drank a great deal, 
though he had never been seen intoxicated. 

On reaching the city, our hero alighted at the best hotel, sent 
in haste for a tailor, and ordered a nobleman's uniform ; then 
he dined, and went to take a walk in the pubhc garden. On 
returning to his hostelry in the evening, he passed by the house 
occupied by the marshal of the nobility of the district and saw 
that it was brilliantly lighted up. The marshal, whose name 
was Stepan Stepanovitch Podgruzdyoff", had nearly half of the 
local nobility in his rooms. The servants Avere handing round 
tea, and the whole apartment was pervaded with an odour of 
lemon, rum, and Turkish tobacco. But what predominated over 
everything else was the discussion of the elections which were 
about to take place. Nearly all of Podgruzdyoff's guests were 
in a joyous frame of mind. He himself sat in a large magiste- 
rial chair, in front of the Avriting-table in his study ; and the 
elective police judge, whose name was Prokop Petrovitch Zazh- 



MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 335 

.^urin, sat as near to him as possible on a light, fanciful chair, 
contrasting Avith the other one. 

" I should be glad to hear from your own mouth an answer 
to this question," said the judge. " "Will you comply with the 
desire of the entire nobility, who want you to remain marshal 
for another three years ? It is very flattering to serve under 
you ; and, infirm as I am, I might, in that case, consider the 
subject of continuing my functions as judge for another term of 
three years, and even for two terms. But if they want me, it 
must be with you." 

" No, Prokop Petrovitch," replied the marshal. " I have told 
you, and I hold to it, that I have done my duty and discharged 
my tribute. If thenobility re-elect me, all that I shall do will be 
to thank them very cordially ; but at the same time I shall 
refuse." 

"In that case, I shall adhere to my own determination not 
to be re-elected. Who would be a worthy representative of our 
district after you ? Farewell, Stepan Stepanovitch ! I regret 
that I have not been able to alter your decision. It is very bad 
of you to reject our supplications like this." 

Judge Zazhmurin thereupon pressed the marshal's hand, and 
gained the street by descending the private staircase. 

No sooner had he taken his departure, than captain-ispravnik 
-Bttrdyakin entered the marshal's study. "Prokop Petrovitch 
has just gone," said he. " He surely must have told you that 
he has had more than enough of the service." 

" That is really what he did say. What do you think of 
it, eh ■? " 

" I think that he is humbugging us." 

" Oh ! indeed ! " 

"That is putting it mildly, for in reality he has his eye on 
the marshal's oflice. He marshal ! Imagine anyone with that 
pig's snout as marshal ! " 

" He is ambitious, is he not ? " asked Podgruzdyofi'. 

" A man may have a weakness ; but the idea of Zazhmurin, 
with that phiz of his, thinking of representing the nobility ! And 
even as a judge, what is he'? To speak the plain truth, the 
nobility made a mistake in choosing him ; for, after all, what is 
there more noble and sacred than to decide the fate of others '? 
By the way, this oflice has been proposed to me, but I really daro 
not accept it. I have so much aflection for our aristocracy, that 
I feel sure that every nobleman would always be in the right in 
my eyes, and the common people always in the wrong. With 
such a method, I should soon be involved in a criminal suit. 



336 DEAD SOULS. 

But what is to be done ? I ara of opinion that one should always 
comply with the petition of a nobleman. Yes ; I will do every- 
thing for the nobility." 

" You icill do. So you have come to a decision ? " 

'* Oh, yes. I offer myself as a candidate, for the mere sake 
of overthrowing that Zazhmurin. I know, that if he sees that he 
has but few chances of being elected marshal, he will cling to 
his place of judge. He is a very crafty fellow." 

" You are very intimate together, yet just see how you talk 
about him ! " 

" Intimate — intimate as one can be with him. He would like 
me to be a grain of salt, and hold out a spoonful of cool water 
to me ; but no, I shan't wait for a bath." 

"Ah!" 

The marshal and the captain-ispravnik now passed into the 
drawing-room, where the conversation had turned from the elec- 
tions to very different and rather risky subjects. As for the elec- 
tions, each person kept his thoughts to himself. Equipages could 
be seen driving up outside, and for the most part entering the 
courtyard. The sound of the laughter and chatting of the new 
arrivals became audible, first at the foot of the stairs, and tiien 
in the ante-chamber. Several members of the local nobility en- 
tered. Their names were Hamyazoff, Morkatinoff, Shtchavarin, 
Sosikoff, and Kornikin. They saluted the assembly, and went 
to shake hands with Podgruzdyoff, who was quietly sitting on a 
sofa, with a cigar in his mouth. Hamyazoff and the brothers 
Morkatinoff had just come from a dinner at the house of the civil 
governor. 

"If I had only known," said Hamyazoff, puffing out his 
cheeks, " I shouldn't have brought any wines, any cook, or any 
cooking utensils up from the country. This is an extremely 
hospitable town. I have only been here three days, and yet I 
have already taken part in seven dinners ; I feel horribly afraid 
of acquiring a big belly. So, pardon and mercy, Stepan Stepano- 
vitch ! to-morrow I dine in two houses, and I am invited to 
breakfast in five others. I really do not know if I can come to 
you. My entertainers will end by making me burst." 

" Here is a gentleman who has come to the elections in order 
to overfeed himself, and drink from morning till night ; he can 
talk of nothing save his great digestive capacity," remarked a 
short, thin gentleman, with a complexion the colour of saffron. 
" All that one hears him talk about is, what he eat here, and 
what he will eat there ; what he has drunk here, and how he 
became intoxicated there. Then he savs that he is invited to five 



MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 337 

houses farther on ; that he is now on his way to sup with some 
importunate count ; that to-morrow morning at ten o'clock he 
will favour that monster of a prince with his company to break- 
fast. And so on ; but how does he manage to lodge so much 
food in his body ? " 

These remarks were addressed to the " plenipotentiary " of an ' 
absent elector, a man whose countenance recalled that of a hare. 
He noisily repressed an inclination to laugh, and, in his fear of 
offending Hamyazoff or anyone else, he assumed the most seri- 
ous possible mien. Then he passed a dirty silk handkerchief 
over his face and executed two or three dexterous skips, in 
order to reach a corner of the room. Here he made two or three 
pirouettes, still continuing to wipe his face ; and, finally, he b?- 
took himself to a large table covered with a green cloth, bor- 
dered with gold fringe, from which he i^icked up the Piegulationa 
of the Elections, and began perusing them for the hundredth 
time, in a low voice, at the same time lending an ear to a noisy 
conversation which was going on in the next room. Podgruz- 
dyoff now went out : he was going to the governor's for a few 
minutes, and meanwhile a number of his guests remained, 
thinking it seemly to await his return. Hamyazoff accompanied 
Podgruzdyoff to the door of his carriage, and then returned to 
the drawing-room. At first he surveyed all the faces present, and 
whispered a few words in the ear of his neighbours, whereupon 
one of the electors said, " If Stepan Stepanovitch would only 
consent, we should be very glad to vote for him, so that he 
could remain in ofiice." 

" Well, gentlemen, you are not hard to suit, if you can put 
up with such a marshal as he is ! " exclaimed Hamyazoff. 

" What do you mean by that ? Podgruzdyoff is an active 
man : see how he performs his duties as guardian, see how he 
protects the orphan, how he defends the widow ! " 

"Eh! That's his first duty; anyone of us would do the 
same ; but you pay no heed to another and equally important 
duty. What sort of a cook has he got ? It's shameful ! He 
pretends that that kitchen-man of his served his apprenticeship 
at the English club at Moscow : I don't believe a word of it, for 
my own part. He's but a sorry cook. One eats and eats of 
his cooking, and is never satisfied : it only fatigues one's jaws. 
You all know what to think of his stuffed dishes, which adhere 
to the teeth and the palate, they glue the coatings of my oeso- 
phagus together in a way which enforces silence upon me during 
the whole of the repast." 

" And, God be thanked ! that suits your neighbours capitally," 

Y 



338 DEAD SOULS. 

gaid tlie little gentleman with the saffron complexion, raising a 
burst of laughter by this witticism. 

" Jokes are somejvhat misplaced to-day," retorted Hamya- 
zoff ; *' we have come here to elect our magistrates. Listen ! I 
know that Melekitchenzoff, who has just returned from abroad, 
wants to be elected marshal, and he's the very man whom we 
ought to elect ; he has a cook, a genuine French artist, gentle- 
men. He will never regale you with any hotel-cookery. As 
far as the rest is concerned, why, I am ready to vote in favour 
of Podgruzdyoff, but on conditions that he changes his cook and 
engages a proper one." 

" Send away his cook, indeed, for the sake of being elected 
marshal ! Come, now ! " 

''What ? He won't change his cook when the nobility desire 
it ! If I were marshal, I would do everything in the world for 
the sake of pleasing the nobihty. And stay ! as a proof of my 
devotion, I declare to you that I will sacrifice my own cook to 
him, placing him at his disposal for the whole period of his 
office without payment. You will agree, I hope, that that is a 
real sacrifice. My cook is the soul of my house ; and so as not 
to die of hunger, I shall have to desert wife, children, and 
home, to come to live with Podgruzdyoff. Never mind. I am 
prepared to do so, simply for the happiness of proving to all of 
you how devoted I am to the interests of the aristocracy." 

Having concluded this speech, Hamyazofi' remained with arms 
outstretched, and his body bent forwards, awaiting a response, 
which did not come. 

" We intend to ask Stepan Stepanovitch to remain with us 
for another three years," at last said one of the gentlemen. 

" Even without cook or kitchen ? " asked the glutton. 

" Oh ! to the devil with the cook ! I have my dinner ready 
in my own house," replied the gentleman. 

"Well," said Hamyazoff, "all the same, I think that we 
ought to elect Melekitchentzoff." 

"No! No!" 

" Why not ? Think of what awful stuff Podgruzdyoff makes 
us eat." 

" We will make matters right for Podgruzdyoft' when the 
balloting begins ! " cried three or four persons at once. " He is 
worthy of his position, and does honour to our district." 

"Who? Podgruzdyoff?" said Burdyakiu, the captain- 
ispravnikj at this moment entering the room. " Oh ! a marshal 
is always good and worthy, of course. But listen : I will make 
no secret of the fact that several people wish to elect me judge. 



MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 339 

Yes, me. You understand — judge. That is what can be deno- 
minated an important and sacred office. But I fear lest I might 
have to condemn a noble. I should acquit him : on my word 
of honour, I should acquit him. That would be equivalent to 
placing a cord about my own neck. But every nobleman will 
be acquitted. So in the name of heaven, do not vote for either 
me or Zazhmurin. Besides, although Zazhmurin cannot recon- 
cile himself to the idea of not being elected, remember that it 
will be rendering him a service to vote against him. His wife 
has spoken to me. It is said that work has quite deranged his 

nerves ; and for his wife, as you can imagine Well, as for 

myself, I will, in the first place, tell you sincerely, that if it 
pleases the nobility to elect me judge, all well and good : I shall 
not dare to refuse. I shall submit. In short, you may dispose 
of me as you think proper." 

Thereupon this candidate saluted the company and withdrew 
with a brisk step. 

There had also been a gathering at Zazhmurin's, but of per- 
sons of a lower quality. Some of them drank brandy, and 
nibbled bread and butter and sandwiches. Barantzofi", the 
auditor, was playing a game of cards, each point being valued 
at a quarter of a copeck, with three men who held powers of 
attorney from ditierent absent nobles. Zazhmurin, Burdyakin, 
and he had hired this lodging in company. In an extremely 
ruinous carriage-house which stood in the yard of the place, an 
ex-cornet of hussars, the prodigal Prince Smuirsky, was lodged, 
Barantzoft' having procured him a commission as an elector's 
deputy, and brought him there for nothing. The prince was 
continually entering the rooms, in order to get an opportunity to 
refresh himself. He was also continually quarrelling with Barant- 
zofi', his temporary patron ; and after each quarrel, he retreated to 
his carriage-shed, where he remained grumbling and fuming until 
dinner or supper time, when his heart experienced the necessity 
of effecting a reconciliation with the auditor. 

" Tikhon Semyonovitch," said the prince enthusiastically 
to Barantzoff, "it is for your sake that I came to town." 
And as he said this he pulled his moustache. 

" Yes, indeed, I had the glory of bringing you with me, 
prince," retorted Barantzoff, dealing the cards with a serious 
air. 

** As a friend you will have my vote," continued the prince. 
" I have come here for your sake, and shall vote for you." 

" Pass," now said Barantzoff, to his partners at cards, and 
rising up he left the room. 



340 BEAD SOULS. 

" That dear friend of mine can count on some black balls," 
said the prince, as soon as he had gone. "I will collect a 
hapdful of them, and stuff them in for my neighbours and 
myself. He can reckon on that." 

At this moment Barantzoflf returned, whereupon the prince 
continued, " I wish it to be thoroughly understood that Barant- 
zoflf and I are a genuine pair of friends." 

He then drank a glass of punch, smacked his lips, stamped 
his feet, and set his glass on the window-sill ; then he seated 
himself on a wretched chair, which he tormented in an un- 
worthy manner, while he complacently picked his nose, and 
whistled an air which he seemed to be intentionally rendering 
unintelligible. 

" We must be careful with the prince until the voting is 
over," said Zazhmurin to his friends, " for he can talk rather 
disagreeably when he likes." 

" Yes ; but he can be prevented from doing anything foolish, 
can't he '? A man of that kind — " 

" Where the deuce did he get that coat? " asked another of 
the card-players." " It does not belong to him. Look at the 
two big creases down the back." 

" Oh. Barantzoff lent him that coat for the elections." 

" Speak lower," rejoined another person. "Someone said a 
word to the prince yesterday about that very coat. * It's my 
coat ! ' he cried. ' No one will wear it after me. I never take 
it off. When I went to bed last night I would not permit 
my servants to take it off. I had a fancy for sleeping in my 
coat. Has anyone any remarks to make on it ? ' That is 
just what he said, speaking too with great violence." 

" What are you muttering among yourselves ?" at this mo- 
ment asked the prince. " It strikes me that you are reviling me. 
Order me some punch and tobacco, or beware of my black- 
balling you all." Forward, march! Left wheel ! Make haste 
with the liquor." 

" Stop that, prince ; your jokes are not quite the thing." 

"Bitter, eh? Well, in the company of clever people, my 
wit is light and sweet. It varies according to my surround- 
ings, you see. You will all be served with black balls, 
remember ; for, being a prince, I detest demagogues. To- 
morrow comes the oath. There will be no drawing back. I 
must do as my conscience dictates. You want oflfice ; you set 
yourselves up as candidates for the magistracy, and you 
belong to a party ; you put yourself at the head of a band. 
And why do you covet these positions ? In order to coin money 



MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 341 

out of them. Ah ! we know all about it, and I'll settle your 
business, that I will ! " 

" What an odd idea of yours to irritate him, gentlemen," re- 
marked someone in a corner of the room. 

" Ah ! very true. So you are there, my little hare," said the 
prince, addressing the person who had just spoken. " Well, 
let us see what you want. You have just been married, hey ? 
And to whom, you fool ? And now you want to be an 
auditor, eh ? " The prince then went and whispered in the ear of 
his little hare, and finally resumed in a louder key, " Now, 
speak out ! You know that I am pretty well oil' as regards 
connections — that I am an aristocrat, an ultra-aristocrat, poor 
though I am ; I have free entrance to the governor's house and 
the marshal's, so I have plenty of means of procuring people 
protectors. Let us suppose that Barantzotf or someone clso 
makes me a present of a nobility uniform with some embroidery 
of pure gold, such as befits my rank. Where is the general 
who would have a grander air than I ? Barantzoflf has a high 
opinion of me, as you know, and for the time being, we lodge 
here together. But that is not always the case. I have an 
apartment of my own all to myself. Faith, I pay seven roubles 
for the sake of occupying it during the elections. Barantzotf 
feeds me as a matter of course. But that's only right. 
Neither on the journey nor here have I fasted for a single 
hour." Then in a very low voice the prince added, " Barant- 
zoff wants to be a councillor ; only think of it ! " 

" Another candidate ! But he has been holding office for 
eighteen years already. Surely that's long enough." 

" Let him hold his pockets well open, and I will provide him 
with plenty of black balls. Only don't you say anything about it 
— you understand — ts, ts. But, wait a bit, I must embrace you. 
Do you know, your wife is very pretty ! Ugh, ugh ! I've got 
the stomach-aclae. I don't know what that animal Barantzotf 
gives us to eat, but I feel quite upset." 

Thereupon the prince quitted the room, and crossed the yard to 
reach his coach-house. It really was time he did so, out of regard 
for the peace of mind of the other gentlemen. However, they 
also withdrew less than a quarter of an hour later. 

Zazhmurin retired, but left a candle burning near the bed 
which was prepared for Burdyakin, his friend the captain- 
ispravnik, with whom ono is already acquainted, and who, to 
the great astonishment of the judge, had not returned. How- 
ever, at two o'clock in the morning there came a violent 
knocking at the gate in the courtyard. Zazhmurin awoke and 



342 DEAD SOULS. 

sat up in bed. The three servants whom he had brought with 
him from the countrj'- were sleeping, fully dressed, on the floor 
of the ante-room. 'Zazhmurin roused them and despatched 
them to the gate, and a moment later Burdyakin entered like a 
bomb, pale, disordered, his hair unkempt, and a cloak for his 
only garment. 

" Where have you been ? " asked Zazhmurin, with mingled 
interest and anxiety. 

" Oh, don't speak of it ! I have jttst come from a place 
where they will never catch me again. It is the first time in my 
life that I have been there, and it will be the last. Hey, there, 
some cold water ! I cannot recover from my fright." 

"Tell me what is the matter with you." 

" Don't ask me." 

" But your boots, your breeches, your cap ? " 

" Heaven be praised ! I am safe and sound myself ; the deuce 
take my effects ! Hey, there, boy ! Some ice, some ice, quick, 
and rub my back, the whole of my back! " 

" There's something amiss, I see; so I shall get up, and 
make a declaration to the police." 

"No, pray do nothing of the sort ! In the name of heaven, 
do not stir ! Another investigation — that would be a pretty 
mess. I have only been to a dancing-school ; but if my wife 
knew that I had set foot in such an establishment, she would 
never let me come to the elections again. And then farewell to 
all my fine hopes ! " 

" What the deuce were you doing at a dancing- school ? " 

" Eh ! There was a reason for my going there." 

"What reason ? Come tell me all, " anxiously said the judge, 
putting on his dressing-gown and his velvet cap. 

" I was at the marshal's house," replied Burdyakin, "and 
they were urging me to present myself as a candidate for one 
of the judgeships. I did not wish to do so. I repulsed their 
ofiers, but they continued to promise me their votes, and I felt 
on the point of yielding. ' Bah ! ' I said to myself, ' I shall go 
to Khramikin's and talk about something else.' I arrive. I 
find him at home, and he says to me at once, ' Bravo ! let's go 
to the dancing-school.' " 

"So you went?" 

" So we went. As he disposes of two votes, there is not 
much that one can refuse him in election time. The deuce 
knows to what school he took me ! There was a great illumina- 
tion and a lot of music, I know. It reminded me of my 
wedding ; but my heart began beating in a very diflerent 



MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 343 

manner, even in the ante-room. Ah ! what a surprise ; I be- 
held two lovely black eyes, and I was pressing my suit, when a 
big fellow with a stick came in ; but — Oh, dear ! oh, dear ! oh, 
dear ! Ahi, ahi, ahi ! Softly there ! lah, lah ! " 

The servants were rubbing away with some ice at the ill- 
used back- of the poor captain-ispravnik. After the ice, he had 
some hot napkins applied to his bruised loins ; then they drew 
on him a clean white shirt, and he fell asleep. Zazhmurin, 
having accurately divined what school his colleague had come 
from, allowed him to fall into a profound slumber, which, bene- 
ficial as it was, frustrated all his hopes of election, for he was 
obliged to keep his room for several days. 

Our friend Pavel Ivanovitch Tchitchikoff", unlike the others, 
did not become agitated or discomposed by the elections. He 
went to bed like a genuine rustic, long before eleven o'clock. 
On the following morning, the 15th of September, he pulled on 
his trousers, washed himself in plenty of vvater, carefully rub- 
bing down his face, his neck, his chest, and his arms. He had 
just donned his Tartar dressing-gown, when through the door- 
way, which his valet had left half open, he beheld the visage of his 
tailor's assistant, who was carefully carrying a hght package 
enveloped in a large silk handkerchief. 

"Is it ready ? " inquired Tchitchikoff. 

" Quite ready, sir," responded the tailor, putting down his 
bundle and extracting the pins. 

" And it will become me ? " 

" It ought to," replied the artist. 

Tchitchikolf now took off his dressing-gown and donned 
the uniform which the tailor had brought him. Placing him- 
self in front of a mirror, he executed divers movements, after 
which he remarked that the coat was perhaps a trifle tight under 
the arms. 

The tailor asserted, however, that it left nothing to be 
desired. 

"Very well," said Tchitchikoff; " but look here, if I move 
like this and this, it impedes the action of my arms." 

" The electors' assembly isn't a lake, sir, and you won't have 
to swim through it as if for your life in order to reach the 
shore ; you will sit still there, like all the other nobles of your 
age." 

"No doubt, no doubt," replied Tchitchikoff", somewhat morti- 
fied to think that he had assumed the airs of a shipwrecked 
mariner in the presence of his tailor. However, he could not 
refrain from trying on his three-cornered hat, and from saying, 



Za DEAD SOULS. 

as he inspected it, " Faith, I look like a general in this uniform : 
don't you think so, my friend ? " 

" Dressed like this, you are a real general." 

" Do you think so ? And my face ? Hey ? " j 

" Exactly the face which suits a general, and not an ordinary ' 
general either." 

" What ? An ordinary general ? Are there several sorts of 
generals, then ? " 

" Well, there is the American sort, sir." 

"What nonsense ! Where did you get the idea that we ha^^e 
American generals in Russia ? " 

" They are called so." 

" Who is called so ? " 

" Why, the grandees, the high nobility, the noble lords who 
are the owners of great estates." 

"You lie! Come, now; I can see that you are a great 
humbug." 

" I say what I know, that is all, sir." 

" Well, here is the price of your work. Did you cut and 
make it yourself ? " he added, as he gazed at his figure in the 
glass. 

"I did, sir." 

" This money is for yourself ? " 

" No ; it is for my master : if you will give me something for 
myself you will afford me great pleasure, sir." 

" Here, then, take this, and go and have a drink of tea to my 
health." Thereupon our hero gave the fellow a silver rouble. 

Once alone he assumed different poses in front of the mirror, , 
saluted forwards, backwards, and obliquely, girded on his sword 
of state, drew on his gloves, and, as the weather was very 
fine, betook himself on foot to the assembly-house of the 
nobility. 

The bell had been ringing for half an hour already, to sound 
the call to the elections ; the nobles arrived in increasing num- 
bers as the time passed by, and before the door stood some 
soldiers, who had been placed there as reinforcements for the 
city police, which was represented by five or six agents. 

The house where the nobility assembled was full of noise. 
People were hurrying in and out. Acquaintances met and in- 
dulged in the national practice of hugging and kissing, which did 
not, however, exclude hand-shaking in the English fashion. In 
the great hall Tchitchikoff perceived, not without some surprise, 
a. throng of men who were saluting not only their acquaintances, 
but even the strangers whofii they now saw for the first time. 



MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 315 

Their air "was quiet and respectful, not to say obsequious : their 
hair was smooth, and their chins freshly shaven. These gen- 
tlemen were the candidates for the higher magisterial olHces 
in that province. 

The marshal of the nobility of the province, dressed in the 
uniform of a gentleman of the bed-chamber to His Imperial 
Majesty, made his entrance, bowing courteously on all sides. He 
halted in the midst of the crowd, and conversed in a friendly 
way with the nobles of his acquaintance. The district marshals 
took it upon themselves to present to him the nobles of their 
districts. Meanwhile the chief marshal did not cease to bow, 
and he even gave his hand to some of the nobles as they 
passed him. 

Tchitchikoff had not counted upon so signal an honour, so 
that he felt discomposed and surprised when the marshal oU'ered 
him his hand with a good deal of warmth. His flattered self- 
esteem immediately became apparent in his walk, in the manner 
in which he carried his head, and in the air of his entire person. 
He fully understood how much he had gained in the eyes of all 
his coimtry neighbours ; indeed, all the nobles of his district stared 
at him for several minutes, and some of them discovered that he 
possessed the physiognomy of a diplomat. 

" Tell me," said one noble to another, " why did the marshal 
shake hands like that wdth Tchitchikoff? " 

" It happened through absence of mind : it was chance, that 
is all." 

" No, no ! After giving him his hand, he raised his thick eye- 
brows ; and I observed, that in looking at Tchitchikofi", as at a 
person whom one is glad to find at his post, he uttered a sig- 
nificant ah — ah — ah." 

" Bah ! it was accident, or chance." 

" Accident doesn't explain anything." 

" Well, how am I to know Avhat you are asking about ? I 
was looking up above, in the galleries." 

"You, perhaps, have some acquaintances, relatives, here, 
looking for you '? " 

"Yes; but look at those ladies there. New arrivals surely, 
new arrivals. We never have anything like them here, even at 
fair-time. Look, look ! " 

" Fine objects for enthusiasm, I must say ! Are we here to 
ogle the women ? And to think that you have such a beauty 
of a wife ! " 

" What has that to do with the matter? A beauty, if you 
like, yes. But the canons don't fol'bid one admiring the unicorn 



346 DEAD SOULS. 

and the adder also, and therefore I wish to admire those two 
ladies at closer range." 

" Well, there he gpes ! What an idea ! But I shall not en- 
dure this, and I shall go up-stairs to bring him back here." 

While these two were chatting, the great majority of the 
nobility had gathered round the large table at which the gover- 
nor was seated. He was a fine, handsome man : he saluted 
the assembly, and then, standing up, he delivered, as presiding 
ofiicer, a speech brief and to the point, in which he announced 
the opening of the elections. He begged those present, first of 
all, to accompany him to church, in order to take the oath to 
preserve impartiality in the voting, and not to elect as magis- 
trates any men who were not roall}' worthy of exercising the 
functions. 

The church was situated in the principal street, which pre- 
sented a very animated aspect that day. Uniforms of all the 
branches of the service were visible, with carriages of all periods, 
filled with electors and candidates on their way to church be- 
tween the thick motley ranks formed by the populace, some 
of whom gathered at the windows of the houses, even to the 
very dormer-windows in the attics. 

The church, usually rather large for its purposes, seemed 
extremely small on this occasion. 

After the ceremony of the oathj those who had taken part in 
it dispersed throughout the city, some of them to return home, 
others to hasten about and pay visits, and the majority to assure 
themselves of a place at a good table, ready to take it by assault 
if it did not present itself voluntarily. This was a day of fine 
hopes for many. Many who had not breakfasted at all, and who 
had dined very badly, suddenly made a copious supper, and felt 
assured of an excellent dinner for several days to come. 

On the following day, electoral business began by the reading 
of a list, arranged in alphabetical order, of all such nobles in 
the province who were, or who had been, in the hands'of the law. 
After the proclamation of each name it was to be decided, by 
vote, whether the bearer might, or might not, have a right to 
take part in the election. 

Tchitchikofi" was present when this afi'ecting perusal began, 
and he could no longer keep his seat. His impatience was so 
great, that several times he crept close to the secretary and 
looked over his shoulder at the list he was reading. Then, 
taking advantage of a momentary interruption, he asked the 
secretary, in a low voice, if he would reach the letter T before 
very long. The secretary courteously replied that he was just 



MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 347 

about to begin the reading of the names having T as their ini- 
tial letter. On obtaining this information, Pavel Ivanovitch re- 
turned with anxiety to his seat, and said to his neighbours that 
a decayed tooth was causing him horrible suftcring ; that he had 
in vain hoped that the pain would cease ; that he realised the 
necessity of having it extracted ; and that, in any case, he could 
not remain amid so many draughts. Accordingly he left the 
hall, and on arriving at his inn he threw himself on to his bed, 
pending the serving of some pickled sturgeon, which he had 
ordered that morning to be ready at four o'clock. 

Half an hour at least had elapsed after Tchitchikoff's depar- 
ture before the letter T was reached. The first name called was 
that of a sub-lieutenant, A. P. Tchuvirin, who had been tried for 
appropriating citizen Krovopatkin's cow by violence. The court 
had acquitted Tchuvirin. 

*' Let him vote ! " cried a number of voices. 

G. P. Tchernofi", collegiate secretary, had been accused of de- 
frauding the brandy revenues, and of having cruelly beaten the 
collector. Acquitted on the first charge, he had been condemned 
on the second to damages, as /reparation for the man who had 
been beaten, and also to three days' arrest. 

" Let him vote ! " was the cry, as in the preceding case. 

Ivan Borisovitch Tchirnazoft", titular councillor, had been ac- 
cused of cutting wood on crown land. 

"Crown land! Exclude him! exclude him!" cried a hun- 
dred voices at once, with an accent of wrath. 

" Ivan Stepanitch Tzelikoft", collegiate assessor," now read 
the secretary, " has been tried in court for having discharged a 
loaded firearm in the middle of the public square." 

" What ! Tzelikoft' discharged a loaded gun ? " said a gentle- 
man M'ith curled hair, in a vivacious manner, " Positively 
loaded '? " 

"There is no doubt but that the gun was loaded," said 
another person. 

" Well, if the gun was not loaded, it was not possible to fire 
it," remarked a third. 

" Li-i-i-tle bo-o-o-y-s so-o-o-meti-i-i-mes b-b-burn pri-i-i- 
ming for fun," said a gentleman who stammered in a very 
painful manner. 

" Why did not the secretary finish his sentence ? " now asked 
a noble with leaden eyes and closely cropped hair. " Did 
Tzelikoff kill anyone with his loaded gun ? " he added in a tone 
of alarm. 

" You are requested to be silent." 



348 DEAD SOULS. 

" Pray, wlio regulates the discussion here ? I ask whether 
Tzelikoff killed or wounded anyone ? " 

The uproar was increasing every moment. 

" Gentlemen, gentlemen ! Silence, I beseech you," said the 
marshal of the province, gently. 

" I know all about it myself. I was present. Yes, indeed ! 
he wounded my dog," began a portly gentleman, who had a re- 
markable tuft of hair on his right cheek. 

" By this discharge — " read the secretary, making an effort 
to continue his perusal. 

" Listen, Piotr Feodorovitch, listen ! That shot of Tzelikoff's 
is being explained." 

" What ? How ? One can't hear anything." 

" Yes, the hubbub is going to begin now ; the whole orchestra 
is tuning its instruments." , 

" Speak louder, secretary, and proceed. Ahi ! ahi ! there's 
somebody treading on my cursed corn again ! Who goes 
there ? Ahi ! ahi ! What a rude lout ! He does not even 
apologise." 

"By this shot," now resumed the secretary, pitching his 
voice an octave higher, "he inflicted mortal terror upon a lady 
who was passing by. This lady was the wife of Mr. Shukin, 
the inspector of police of that district ; and in consequence 
of her fright, this lady, on reaching her home " 

•'Ah ! If she died, that settles about the shot," interrupted 
one of the nobles. 

" In the name of heaven, gentlemen, listen, and donotinter- 
rupt ! " exclaimed another. 

" On reaching home," continued the secretary, " she took to 
her bed, and gave birth to two children, who proved to be of the 
male sex." 

Great laughter now burst forth. " Very good. But how about 
the mother '? ' ' 

" The mother and her children are in the best possible health. 
As a result of the investigation which followed, Tzelikoff was 
.exonerated from all responsibility." 

" Let him vote, then ! " was the cry on all sides. 

*' It would be too severe to deprive this man of his rights as 
an elector. He has suggested a new means of assisting 
nature." 

" What you say is quite true. And, by the way, how is 
your mare ? Has she foaled ? ' ' 

" Oh ! I have sold her to a horse-dealer. But you have not 
heard of the adventure ? " 



MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 349 

" Silence, silence there ! " shouted an usher. 

" Pavel Ivanovitch Tchitchikoff, councillor of state," now 
read the secretary, "accused of forgery in connection with a 
will." 

" Ah ! for a nobleman that is rather bad. Exclude him ! ex- 
clude him ! " 

" Hey ? W-w-w-hat ? H-h-how ? " said the noble with the 
painful stammer. " F-f-f-f-f-for-gery in precious stones and di- 
di-di-di-a-monds '? " 

" Are you deaf? " retorted a neighbour, " You Avere told, 
for forgery in connection with a will." 

" Ha, ha ! I un-understand it. Vari-ous messes. In the e-e- 
e-lec-tions ? But how did it con-con-cern the tri-tri-bu-nals?" 
resumed the stammering gentleman, who was a bit of a fool. 

" Hush-sh-sh-sh ! Silence, I beg of you!" now said the 
marshal of the province. 

" Accused of forgery, in connection with a will, and of having 
purchased from divers noble owners of inhabited estates a num- 
ber of deceased peasant-serfs, dead souls, with and without the 
land they occupied. After due investigation, however, Pavel 
Ivanovitch Tchitchikoff was released as not guilty." 

"What? What? Dead souls ? " 

" Yes, he was accused of having jnirchased dead souls — some- 
thing absurd, eh ? " 

" Wh-wh-a-at ? He pur-pur-chased the-e-e will of a de-de-ad 
wo-wo-man ? " said the deaf gentleman who stammered. 

"Ah, my dear sir, how tiresome you are ! Why, open your 
cars ! I answer you for the last time : he purchased some thou- 
sands of dead souls." 

" Did you say dead souls ? Ah, good heavens ! it is impos- 
sible to hear ; it is a perfect Babel here." 

" How scandalous ! I shall take my departure ; the secre- 
trry reads one thing, and then the people talk of another." 

" Not at all. This is the exact fact : he appropriated a large 
inheritance, and purchased several ancient cemeteries with the 
money." 

"Impossible ; " 

" Read the passage again ! Read it again ! " cried a large 
portion of the noble assemblage. " And come nearer to us. 
Here, here ; this is a good place ; it is the exact centre of the 
hall." 

" No, no," shouted the others ; " more to the right, to the 
right; that's the real centre ; here, nearer us." 

The secretary placed himself in the very centre of the hall ; 



350 DKAD SOULS. 

then he coughed, and began to read anew. " Pavel Ivanovitch 
Tchitchikofl', councillor of state, accused of forgery in connection 
with a will, and accused of having purchased from divers noble 
owners a number of 'deceased peasant-serfs — dead souls." 

At these words frightful uproar and confusion ensued. Most 
of the electors rose to their feet. 

" This is strange news ! " cried one. 

" Crime upon crime ! " exclaimed another. 

" What an abomination ! " 

' ' This man is an adventurer, a speculator — that's what 
he is! " 

"Oh, but what an idea that is of disinterring the dead ! " 

" Did he mean to make bone-black out of them ? " 

" Was it ever discovered what he intended to do with those 
bones and corpses ? " 

* ' I think that saltpetre can be made from tombs ; and the 
bones would yield ashes which might certainly be utilised in 
commerce : for my part " 

' ' What horrors that man is uttering ! It is a case, a case, 
such a case, you see, as no one ever imagined. When I tell my 
Avife about this she will say that I am lying." 

" Why tell her about it then ? Why incur a scolding ? What 
is the use of seeking quarrels ? Don't little spars arise of them- 
selves without that ? I shall not say a word to my wife about 
this abominable affair." 

" Well, I shall tell it all to mine ; otherwise she will hear of it 
from someone else, and that will furnish her with a good pre- 
text for a quarrel." 

" But why did he purchase the dead souls ? " 

The chief marshal had preserved his patience up to this point; 
but realising that this case must be disposed of, he armed him- 
self with his bell, and rang it until the most complete silence was 
established ; then he said to the assembly : " Gentlemen, there 
appears to be a difference of opinion as to whether this gentle- 
man shall be admitted into the assembly. Will you resort to 
the ballot ? 

" Yes, yes ; very good." 

" Now is the time, or never." 

"The ballot, the ballot!" 

The balls were brought, and they proceeded to the ballot. 

"Ah, how I should like to see that fellow Tchitchikoff and 
judge his face, his personal appearance, his manners ! " 

"He certainly must look like a sharper and rascal — like an 
undertaker's man at the least." 



MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF; 351 

"jNot at all: everyone was sayiug yesterday that lie is still 
a young man, rather plump, with a rosy complexion, fine bear- 
ing, and of good style." 

"It is said that he has served in the Imperial Guards." 

" Tchitchikoff ? Really? Come, tell us, Trofim Petrovitch ; 
since he belongs to your district you must know him." 

" No, I don't; he's not known in our district; there is no 
person of that name there." 

" He was an agent for the settlement of disputed claims in 
Siberia." 

" Well, we must find out from what district he comes : but of 
whom can we inquire ? " 

"Oh! he came here straight from Kamtchatka, riding on a 
reindeer." 

"Ha! ha! ha!" 

"I tell you that it is a very grave case." 

" Tchetchelkoff, Tchetchelkoff ! " soliloquised one gentleman. 
"What funny names one encounters in the world nowadays! 
And so trading in dead souls leads to nobility ! Bravissimo ! 
How great is our good mother Russia ! She contains all sorts 
of people naturally, and all kinds of industries and trades arc 
plied within her. And now we have this fellow Tchetchclkofi'." 

" What do you mean by your Tchetchelkoff? " interrupted a 
neighbour. "Who and what is Tchetchelkofi'? The name has been 
read to you a score of times plainly enough ; it is Tchetchanin, 
and not Tchetchelkoff at all : it enrages me to hear proper names 
mutilated." 

" Pooh ! pooh ! " burst in another person. " The real name 
is Tchitchikoff. Mr. Tchitchikoff" is here, here in this very hall. 
He has a fine appearance ; and the general expression of his 
face is of a kind to inspire, or at least it has the reputation of 
inspiring " 

" Very good, very good, Vasiliy Lukitch ! " shouted jet a 
fourth noble. "Oh heavens! when that fellow undertakes to 
talk, and, above all, to analyse, there is never any end to it." 

An uncle and a nephew, v.ho were seated side by side, now 
joined in the chatter. 

" Admit him, admit him ! " said the nephcAV. "Mr. Tchit- 
chikoff must be admitted ! He imrchased, and since he pur- 
chased, that signifies that he paid for, his souls. If, instead of 
buying them, he had robbed, carried off, stolen — then it would 
be necessary to exclude him and to prosecute him." 

"No doubt," rejoined the uncle. "And we should demand 
that he be stripped of his title of noble." 



352 DEAD SOTTLS. 

At this moment a third person stepped up to the uncle and 
the nephew. He was a short, wrinkled old man in an ancient, 
naval uniform, with a^worn embroidered collar. His whole face 
was covered with perspiration, and his grey hair was plastered 
down on his temples. This old sea-dog seemed very agitated. 
He had already searched every corner of the room ; he had now 
reached the centre of it, and his eyes roved in every direction. 
On approaching the people of whom we have spoken he said, 
with a preoccupied, serious air : " Gentlemen, will you have 
the great kindness to tell me what price TchitchikofF paid for a 
dead soul — I mean his average price ? " 

" Seven roubles and seventy-five copecks, paper money," 
gravely replied a stout gentleman, as he held a huge silver 
snuflf-box under his nose, and regaled himself methodically and 
delightedly with pinches of the aromatic powder. 

" Of the male sex, or the other ? " 

" Both — male and female." 

The mariner's face lighted up; then he assumed an air of 
mystery, and added — 

" Did he merely purchase grown-up persons, or did he take 
children as well ? " 

" I have told j'^ou what he did : he bought souls. You ought 
to know what souls are." '■' 

"Yes — but just one word. Will you have the kindness to 
point out this Tchitchikofi" to me, or to tell me where he is to 
be found at the present moment — in what part of the hall ? " 

" Stay, look yonder, there — there against the pillar at the 
corner of the gallery. You see that tall, thin, ugly man, with 
long, whitish, untidy hair, and tortoise-shell spectacles ? He 
has a face easily noticed, and he's Tchitchikofi"." 

The naval ofiicer gave a leap like a kid, and then he went 
off at so violent and ungovernable a pace that he flung two 
heavy gentlemen flat on the floor, overturned three arm-chairs, 
upset numerous benches, and at length reached the unkempt 

* The ex-officer's question was a very natural one. In Russia, only 
male serls were counted as souls, but this did not prevent the landowners 
from deriving a very good revenue also from the female serfs on their 
estates, to whom they gave permission to go to the towns and support 
themselves there by their work, in consideration of their paying a stipu- 
lated sum [oeroZ:]. These women have been known to pay more than 
their fathers, brothers, or husbands, rather than return to the village. 
The children were not required to pay any obrok until they grew up, 
but they were employed in a great many little services which grown men 
could not perform . It was only the children, without regard to their 
sex, who were of no account in the eyes of the tax-collectors. 



MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 353 

man with the tortoise-shell spectacles. Having seized him con- 
vulsively by the arms and dragged him to a deserted corner, 
the naval officer addressed him with a great many bows, accom- 
panying each of his words with abrupt movements of his arms, 
eyelids, and head. However, the unkempt man smiled with a 
scornful air, surve5'ed the eloquent ancient mariner from head to 
foot, thrust out his under lip, and shrugged his thin shoulders. 

" Seriously, then, you are not Tchitchikoff ?" urged the retired 
officer. 

" Pray, do me the honour to tell me what you want of me. 
I have not the honour of knowing you. Excuse me." And then 
the fellow with the tumbled hair made a movement as if about 
to depart. 

" Xo, no, you shall not thus escape me, noble and generous 
Tchitchikofi" ! " exclaimed the ancient mariner. "You must 
purchase my one hundred and forty souls, of both sexes, who 
died of cholera : you must indemnify me, at least in part, for 
that cruel loss. Give an old mariner, his sons, and grand- 
children due cause to bless your name for ever." 

""Will you please to leave me alone!" said the unkempt 
man. " What the deuce do you mean by all the ridiculous 
things that you are saying to me ? " 

" Everyone seeks his own advantage : that is quite natural. 
I have so much respect for the traffic which you have engaged 
in, and I regard it as so perfectly legitimate, that I am willing 
to deduct twenty-five copecks from the price which you usually 
give for each dead soul, simply so as to enjoy the pleasure of 
assisting in the success of your operations in the measure of 
my means." 

"Once more," retorted the unkempt gentleman, "I beg of 
you to cease your raillery. Do not force me to say harsh things 
to you." 

"I certainly have no occasion to expect the least coarse 
■word from so wise a man as yourself. Let us strike the bargain 
here between ourselves ; as for the contract and the money, I 
will go to your house with 3'ou." 

" Oh ! you will, will you ? " 

" Yes; don't feel at all uneasy about that. I shall have no 
difficulty in finding your house ; I should even find it were it 
situated at the bottom of the sea. And so my honourable friend 
Pavel " 

This private colloquy was at this moment interrupted by the 
silence which suddenly prevailed throughout the hall. The 
secretary proclaimed the result of the voting. 

z 



354 DEAD SOULS. 

" The ballot wliicli has just taken place with reference to 
Pavel Ivanovitch Tchitchikoff, councillor of state, has resulted 
in the maintenance of his right, by 499 ayes against 87 noes. 
Mr. Tchitchikoff is admitted as a member of the assembly by a 
majority of 412 votes." 

" I congratulate you ! " said the naval officer, turning to the 
unkempt gentleman. 

" May the devil confound you ! " replied the latter, and he 
hurriedly made off through the different groups of bystanders. 

The reading of the list was then resumed, and concluded in 
half an hour's time. Several propositions were then submitted 
to the assembly. Some of these proposals offered an occasion 
for a great deal of uproar, and the voices raised within the hall 
became audible outside. All the members who had contrived to 
appease their stomachs with a breakfast, without their absence 
having been noticed, held out. At each proposition, many still 
shouted and declaimed jwo and contra at random. Some, aproiMS 
of nothing, demanded a ballot. However, all ended by feeling 
the prick of hunger, and were charmed to hear the governor 
adjourn the deliberations upon the seven or eight propositions 
which still remained to be discussed until the close of the elec- 
tions. In fact, the actual, final resolution was, that the secre- 
tary was to be allowed full liberty in all these matters. 

There is one good thing about these days of electoral assem- 
blies — a man is able, if not always to obtain certain satisfaction 
for his self-love, at least to feast, and find relaxation from his 
ordinary cares. Very few gentlemen are to be met with who 
do not end by unreservedly signing everything that the secre- 
tary of the nobility presents to them, everything which he pre- 
pares, or means to prepare, upon numerous sheets of paper, 
without caring to hamper his agile pen, or even to spoil his 
appetite by annoying subtilties. 

That evening our hero felt infinitely better than he had felt 
at the assembly. It is to be supposed that three helps of the 
pickled sturgeon and a bottle of old CluUeau Larose, which he 
absorbed in order to get rid Jof the boredom consequent upon 
several hours of solitude, had a salutary effect upon his maxillary 
nerve ; at all events, he had no occasion to place himself in the 
hands of any dentist. He took his round hat and a long, wadded 
surtout, and set out lounging about the streets, with a handsome 
Indian cane in his hand. All the houses in the town, all the 
lodgings, good or bad, the smallest chambers, the pettiest garden- 
pavilions, were filled to overflowing ; the hostelries and restau- 
rants were glittering with lights ; their doors were fairly besieged 



MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 355 

with carriages, both public and private, of all sizes, shapes, and 
names. The so-called harmony of itinerant orchestras, com- 
j)osed of foreign artists, mostly Bohemians, rang out intrepidly 
and with impunity from several halls. The nobility were spend- 
ing their gold in costly breakfasts and dinners. Excepting one 
or two highly renowned vintages, the only Avine absorbed was 
champagne ; whilst the only water partaken of was the famous 
natural seltzer water. Whilst they ate and drank to excess, 
proposing toasts of great originality, a vast quantity of promises 
to treat So-and-so with black balls, and the host of the day with 
white ones, burst forth as though bubbling from the heart. 
Vain words, forgotten as soon as uttered ! On the following 
day the balls were dropped according to the impulse or the 
caprice of the moment, according to the influence of connec- 
tions or the strength of parties, which became more sharply 
outlined at the decisive moment. 

" At the last elections," said Burdyakin to a friend at the 
street-corner, " the late So-and-so gave a third person the sup- 
port which he had promised to mo that very morning. He did 
not like to see me elected to that modest office. However, God 
punished him for his rascality : he died five months after his 
treachery." 

" One thing is certain," replied the other, " that not one hair 
of our heads falls without the will of God. But to-day you want 
to become a judge ; well, what shall you do in that office ? " 

" I ? The first thing I shall do will bo to attend to the 
things which my predecessor wrongfully neglected. As a 
preliminary step, I shall purify the audience chamber ; and it is 
only after having had all parts of the place properly blessed, 
that I shall show myself. And you may be sure that I shan't 
listen to anyone, but act entirely on my own judgment." 

" According to your own judgment — h'm ! Yes, if Ivan Feo- 
dorovitch will allow it." 

" Ivan Feodorovitch has no chance whatever of being chosen 
marshal." 

" May heaven hear you ! But let us go into that cafu there 
— the evening dew is falling ; I am shivering." 

"You call that a cafe ! AVhy it is a tavern, not to say a 
cavern. There are twenty brawlers in there, gorging themselves 
with champagne, while three merry girls, in very low dresses, 
play on the harp and sing to them, God only knows what 
sprightly songs. To think that those wretched fellows are all 
married men, and yet they sit there devouring those women 



356 DEAD SOtTLS. 

with their eyes ! And fancy, they were not ashamed to invite 
me ! " 

" And you ? " 

" Well, I looked in just to see what was going on there, and 
then I speedily stole away. Would j^ou believe it, that many 
persons, in consequence of this permanent orgy, will be forced 
to set out for their villages after this evening ? They had 
brought with them enough money to live on for a month or 
more, but in three days they are drained dry, and now they say 
that unforeseen circumstances recall them home as speedily as 
possible." 

"Ah, good evening, Pavel Ivanovitch," said Burdyakin at 
this moment to Tchitchikofi", who happened to come along. 
"You were at the assembly to-day?" he continued, looking 
intently at our hero. 

" Yes, I spent two hours there. I had taken a toothache 
there with me, and the draughts increased it to such a degree 
that I was obliged to return to my inn." 

" I also went to the assembly, in spite of a very bad cold, but 
I went later on, so" that I did not meet you. Just imagine, they 
mentioned your affairs, your trial — a lot of nonsense, in fact." 

"Indeed! what was it?" said Tchitchikoff, ignoring the 
fact that anything could have been said to his disadvantage. 

" Why, some trial which you underwent was mentioned ; and, 
although it was said that you had been released, they laughed 
and talked and railed at you. After all, the nobility doesn't 
wish you ill. So as to uphold you, I went from one person to 
another through the hall, talking, insisting, flattering, beseech- 
ing, and promising ; and, by my faith, I succeeded ; your elec- 
toral rights were recognised by a large majority of votes." 

" Well, I never suspected anything of the sort," said our hero. 

" Listen : let me advise you, between ourselves, to come for- 
ward boldly as a candidate for the marshalship. Believe me, 
your district is very well disposed towards you at the present 
moment, and you will be elected." 

" I don't aspire to that office ; it makes one lead a bustling, 
restless life," said Tchitchikoff aloud, but all the while he 
thought to himself, " That would be very flattering." 

" Yes, indeed ! Well, Pavel Ivanovitch, that is a very wise 
course of yours ; don't put yourself forward ; you are, and 
will remain, a remarkably sensible man, not only in your own 
■district but throughout the province. Look at Zazhmurin : 
"what does he lack ? A good fever, perhaps ; at all events, he 
is rich and intelligent,' and expert in rural management. But, no 



MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 357 

matter ; here he is burning to become marshal. He has been 
warned that he will be black-balled, but he won't listen to any- 
thing. He hopes on, and do you know why ? This is the way he 
calculates. Oh, he's a cunning fellow ! To-morrow and the 
day after are to be devoted to the solution of a multitude of 
questions ; the third day is Sunday ; then the arrival of several 
gentlemen from all the districts is expected. In these three 
days many of the people already here will have expended all 
the money they had brought with them on cards, drinks, feasts, 
and orgies, and then they will recollect that Zazhmurin has a 
pocket well padded with bills of credit.* He will lend them 
money at six per cent, on good notes guaranteed by the most 
solvent among them ; and, more than that, he will make the 
borrowers swear on their honour to vote for him. And yet, I 
ask you, how can a pig's snout like that man aspire to be mar- 
shal of the nobility ? " 

" He impresses me as an honest man, and I don't see why he 
should be driven to purchase votes," remarked our hero. 

" Well, pray do me the pleasure of dropping in a black ball 
for him, and in m)'' opinion j^ou ought to do the same for every- 
one except Melekitchentzoii'. As for myself, the general desire 
has obliged me to come forward as a candidate for a judgeship; 
these are grave functions. It is a terrible thing to judge one's 
fellow-men when one knows that at the last judgment one will 
have to render an account of one's decisions, and j-et I have 
made up my mind to it ; and I shall be an exemplary magistrate, 
you may depend upon that." 

" It will be very meritorious on your part," said our hero. 
" But what sort of a man is this Melekitchentzofl' of yours ? " 

" A millionaire ! That is the man who ought to be elected. 
That is the man who will make an accomplished marshal. Do 
you know, he has promised to give a great dinner, where he 
will regale everyone with Dutch milk ? I am acquainted with 
Dutch cheese, and I am very fond of it. So, for that reason 
alone, I have decided to assist him in becoming marshal of 
the district. My wife is very fond of Dutch cheese, and my 
eldest daughter also ; but milk, the real Dutch milk, that's a 
thing that neither I nor my wife nor my children have ever 
tasted. Well, MelekitchentzotF has brought some from the Low 
Countries — a hogshead, a largo hogshead of it — and, just 
imagine it, ho has brought it in his carriage ! " 

* At that period certain Lills of credit oirculiited throughout Russia 
just like hank-notes. 



358 DEAD SOULS. 

" It is of Viktor ApoUonovitch ^ that you are speaking, 
surely?" said a gentleman with a shrill voice, who had just 
halted behind Burdyakin. 

"Yes, of Melekitchentzoff, certainly." 

" But what is this milk of which you were just speaking ? " 

" Milk, what ? Why, milk, Dutch milk." 

" That isn't milk at all ; you have been misled. It isn't milk, 
but whey ; and not common Dutch whey, but what is called 
Amsterdam whey. I have tasted it." 

" Don't believe him, Pavel Ivanovitch ; he's lying. Well, let 
us see if you have tasted it," resumed the captain-ispravnik ; 
"tell us what it tastes like, and what effect it has on the 
stomach." 

"That's a fine question to ask! The whey which Viktor 
ApoUonovitch has brought is acid and bitter, salt and sweetish, 
at one and the same time." 

"I suspected as much ; ah, ah, ah! the jokers ! they have 
made him swallow some sea-water. Water, water, I tell you ; 
it was salt water — that's what it was. I must tell you that 
Melekitchentzoff has brought with him from the west a number 
of men, birds, fish, and divers objects ; among other things, he 
brought some very small shell-fish, which are called mussels, I 
believe, to treat the poor pupils at a school in which he takes an 
interest. Oh, what a fine thing it is to be rich ! Well, in order 
to keep these shell-fish fresh, they had to be preserved in salt 
water ; and it is probably that water, which the prince's ser- 
vants, at his request, made this gentleman drink. He has swal- 
lowed a jarful of salt water, spoonful by spoonful. That's what 
he knows about Dutch milk. Come, now, my dear fellow." 

" Come, yourself ! The custom-house wouldn't allow salt 
water to pass ? " 

" And why not ? it is for use ; the doctor has prescribed sea- 
water for me to drink. I can drink nothing else, so the custom- 
house allows it to pass ; it must allow it." 

" It may be as you say ; so be it. But let us discuss serious 
matters. Did you know that in the assembly they wanted to 
elect me as assessor of the court of this district ? The proposal 
is very disagreeable to me — oh, very disagreeable indeed ! I 
begged of them, and prayed of them, not to think of it ; but no, 
they wouldn't listen to me. They will force my nomination 
upon me, the wretches!" At this point the drinker of sea- 
water suddenly drew the captain-ispravnik on one side, to 
ask him, "Pray, who is this gentleman whom you have with 
you ? " 



MISERY AXD GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 359 

"That is Pavel Ivanovitch Tchitchikofi' ; he can dispose of 
two votes, and holds two more in reserve." 

" Permit me, sir," now said the candidate for the office of 
assessor, in a honeyed voice, " permit me to introduce myself 
to you : I am the governmental secretary, Tchyerin ; my lands 
lie in your district ; I am a neighbour of Mr. Burdyakin ; " and 
here he walked towards Tchitchikoft'. 

"I am much flattered, sir," responded Tchitchikofl', while 
he walked on in front of him. 

"Until to-day I have not been bold enough to introduce my- 
self to you ; excuse my thus accosting you with a request. 
When they vote for me — my name is Tchyerin — when they 
vote for me, black-ball me. Yes, I beg of you, black-ball me. 
No doubt I should be, on every occasion and wholly, at the 
command of the nobility if I were elected. I should cherish 
no other ambition than that of trying to please every gentle- 
man belonging to our set ; but, nevertheless, you will oblige 
me, and that greatly, if you will kindly vote against me." 

" If the other persons who know you esteem you worthy of 
the post of 'assessor, I shall not vote differently to the nobility 
of the district ; indeed, I shall vote in your favour if the other 
people do so." 

"Asj'ou please; at all events, receive the homage of my 
respectful devotion." 

After speaking these words, this solicitor ran off to pay his 
court elsewhere. Tchitchikoff glanced to right and to left, and 
no longer saw him anywhere. 

" What sort of a fellow is this Tchyerin, your neighbour in 
the country ? " he asked Burdyakin. 

" A passed-master in card-playing. Oh, he never fears 
sharpers, whoever they may be." 

*' Then he himself is a little bit in that line ? " 

" Yes, he is ; so put in a black ball for him, and another 
black one for Kostlyakin also." 

" Who is Kostlyakin?" 

"A landowner, nothing more. I wanted to marry his 
daughter with a brother of my wife's, a fine fellow, who had 
just been promoted to the rank of lieutenant, and had already 
been promised a troop. Well, Kostlyakin had the effrontery to 
reply to the young man's request, ' Begin by getting the troop, 
and then come and make your proposal to me.' Can anyone 
conceive it — such an animal refusing to ally his family with 
mine ? Black-ball Vuirkin also. As for Yerebnikoff, take care ! 
He is a ferret ; distrust him, and black-ball him, too. Knaplin, 



360 DEAD SOULS. 

too, ought to have a good black ball ; however, do as you think 
fit about him. Stay, I have two other friends — Ivan Telkin 
and Piotr Telkin, two cousins, against one of whom I strongly 
recommend you to cast black balls." 

" Well, I shall have a hard time of it ; you have mentioned 
seven or eight people to me, and I really fear that I shall make 
some mistake." 

" Do you wish to render me a service ? " 

"I desire it greatly." 

" Well, listen ! Each time that you receive your balls from the 
hand of the marshal, hand them to me, and I will deposit them 
according to your desires, as one's oath, honour, and conscience 
require." 

" Well, we will see about it." 

*' Good evening, Pavel Ivanovitch." 

"Adieu." 

" What is the matter with them all ? " said Tchitchikoff to 
himself, as he re-entered his chamber at the inn ; " why are 
they thus excited ? One finds nothing but lying, fraud, and 
hypocrisy at every step. The elections are useful in many 
respects, as a privilege conferred on the nobility ; but in the 
practice, in the exercise of the right, there is a little too much 
perfidy and malignity. I am not ambitious of any office, cer- 
tainly ; I only came here to divert my mind from my occupa- 
tions as a landowner, and I find nothing but worry. Instead of 
remaining here any longer, I should do better to go and busy 
myself about the v/elfare of my peasants, the education of my 
young family, and many other things which would prove bene- 
ficial either to me, or my family, when I am gone. I must be 
honest ; that accursed ambition, or rather that petty vanity, al- 
ways oppresses my heart, after creeping in to it like a serpent. 
It is only too true, that I should like to be elected marshal of 
the nobility of our district. It seems that that is the goal of a 
noble's desires, and all these parties and intrigues are due to it. 
Whatever I do or say, it seems as though someone were every 
moment urging me on, and shouting in my ears, ' Announce 
yourself as a candidate ; try, try ! perhaps you will succeed ! * 
One unhappy man has undermined his whole fortune for the 
sake of collecting the nobility at his house ; he is ruining him- 
self, and all his family, by his extravagant expenditure. Still 
he never gets discouraged, but hopes to be elected marshal 
in spite of all the afi"ronts and discomfitures he meets with. 
There are also a great many aspirants this year, and very few 
offices to be filled up. Ought not I to postpone my candidature 



MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 361 

until the next election ? But no : three years arc three centuries ! 
Shall I be alive and in health three years hence ? I should like 
to serve as marshal for eight or nine mouths, or a year at the 
most ; then I would hand in a peremptory resignation ; that 
would be the thing. Oh ! if I could only have the pleasure of 
signing my name, in my clear, firm handwriting, on patents 
of nobility, or on a circular addressed to all my noble elec- 
tors ! " 

Tchitchikoff was so engrossed with this last idea that, with- 
out thinking, he placed a sheet of paper before him, seized a 
pen, and Avrote with one sweep of the hand in magisterial, 
flowing calligraphy, " Tchitchikofi', Marshal of the Nobihty." 
Then he glanced about him, twisted the paper up, burned it in 
the flame of his candle, and thought, as he took off his clothes, 
" What a miserable creature is man ! After many tempests, I 
have entered a haven of safety, but my heart and my imagina- 
tion have followed me into it ; and in the absence of real 
troubles coming from without, I create for myself, by my own 
fanc)', subjects of irritation and false hopes, which do not 
allow me to taste the sweets of repose." 

Three days elapsed, and the noisy elections for the district 
began. The streets were crowded from sunrise by equipages 
coming and going, filled, most of them, too, to excess, with 
members of the country nobility, in their grand uniforms. 
Some even went modestly on foot to each other's houses ; and 
when men who were tolerably sure of each other met, they 
alighted from their carriages or halted and exchanged embraces. 
They could be seen saluting each other at fabulous distances, 
and the most flattering hopes were depicted on their faces. 

The turmoil aroused Tchitchikofl' long before his ordinary 
hour of rising ; he hastened to his window, and amused himself 
with watching an enormous britchka, drawn by two horses with 
long, badly-groomed coats, and containing five portly gentle- 
men in full dress. 

" Generals, upon my word ! all generals to-day ! It's a 
regular invasion of generals," said he ; then, having donned 
his own gala attire, he studied two or three noble attitudes 
before his mirror, and with his arms crossed on his breast 
and his head borne loftily, though shghtly upon one side, he said 
with much assurance and in a loud tone of voice, " I know 
nothing about the others ; let people look at us all, and de- 
cide for themselves. There arc no doubt some wealthy men 
in this motley throng, men who are cultivated in mind, and 
handsome in person ; but I — I alone, probably, realise the 



362 DEAD SOULS. 

ideal of a general — an American gmej-al." And. tears, due to 
egotistical tenderness and of a vague uneasiness, bathed the 
rosy cheeks of our hero ; while he said to himself, " Lord Grod, 
what is it that is taking place withia me ? Why these tears ? 
It is my accursed ambition which weeps, knowing that it can- 
not be gratified. This ambition is a worm, gnawing at my 
heart, surfeiting itself upon my blood, living on me and in me, 
and which will only die when I die ; to curse it is equivalent to 
cursing myself." 

Tchitchikoff then entered his carriage, and drove to the 
assembly. On the way he was stared at, for he was not one 
of those men who never have a thought depicted on their brows. 
He was especially noticed by the populace, because he distanced 
not only the pedestrians, but all the other carriages. Half of 
the street and three-quarters of the grand square were encum- 
bered with vehicles. 

The soldiers had the greatest difficulty in calming the excite- 
ment of the drivers, Tartars or Mongolians, who from the 
elevation of their boxes, still lead, at least as coachmen, that 
proud Eussian aristocracy in which so many of their ancient 
princes figure. Perched on their high seats, they rise above 
all the general populace — the common herd, the promiscuous 
throng of nobles, the artisans, the clerks, the citizens, and the 
rustics alike. 

" Hey, there, you big beard ! To the left, to the left ! and 
don't leave the line. Well, don't you hear me ? " shouted 
one of those quellers of disorder known as the blue dragoons. 

" We know what we are about," retorted the son of Mamai,* 
who was thus addressed. " We have driven through Moscow 
and Petersburg, and you can't frighten us, comrade." 

" Come, come ! no arguing, unless you want to feel the flat 
of my sword." 

" Just try it on ! My master, there within, is already three- 
quarters elected marshal. And yet, you spurred lout, you lay 
down the law like a commander-in-chief ! What sort of a bird 
are you, I should like to know ? We have our plate laid at 
the governor's table. My master will tell him. Hallo ! what 
are you hitting me for ? Stop ! listen ! Leave me alone ! Will 
you let me be, you madman ? I'll leave the box, and the horses, 
and the carriage ! How dare you strike me ? ' ' Then the 

* The expression "son of Mamai,'' means a Tartar. Mama'i was the 
leader of one of the Tartar incursions in the Middle Ages (1380), and his 
name is preserved in history. His exploits are also celebrated in the 
Eussian epic songs. 



MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 363 

coachman called, turning towards his master, " Sir ! Hey, sir ! " 
And again coufrontiug the dragoon: "There, that's enough. 
Where would you like me to re-enter the line ? ^Yill you cease 
pestering me ? Just see how you have treated my tchchnen,'^ 
which belongs to my master. Hum ! It' s disgusting how you 
beat and ill-treat people." 

Several soldiers and drivers had little asides of this nature 
on various points. Meanwhile, inside the hall the balloting 
began. Podgruzdyoff having announced his definite resignation 
of the office of marshal, votes were given in turn for three 
candidates who had brought themselves forward, and who were 
summarily rejected by black-balling. A compact party then 
advanced to vote for Melekitchentzoff, in Podgruzdj^oft^'s place, 
and the immense majority feeling discontented, observed that 
there was nobody to oppose him likely to have anylchance what- 
ever. 

Tchitchikofi" remained modestly leaning against a pillar, the 
devouring worm of ambition gnawing painfully at his heart. 
Everything was left in suspense for several minutes in default 
of a competitor to oppose this wealthy candidate, Melekitchent- 
zoff, who was already casting patronising and triumphant 
glances upon his supporters, and leering tenderly at the 
curule chair of the marshalate. Our hero meanwhile said to 
himself, "Oh, it would have been a thousand times better 
if I had gone on a round of visits to Betrishtchetf's relatives, 
rather than have come here and subjected myself to all this 
torture. I have suffered a great deal in my life ; still, I 
have enjoyed some happy days. This is my harshest trial. 
Would it not be best for me to go and announce myself 
openly as a candidate ? Good God ! What, won't anyone 
come and say to me, ' Will you be pleased to accept nomina- 
tion ? ' Let them talk to me about my likeness to an American 
general after this ! I have allowed myself to be caught with 
the raillery of a tailor ! I'll just see if a single person will 
come. dead souls ! dead souls ! you have enriched me with- 
out elevating me, and it is you who are now about to com- 
pete my abasement and my ruin ! " 

Tchitchikofi" was raving. He really was in despair, when 
all at once, three gentlemen belonging to his district approached 
him, and proposed to him that he should present himself as a 
candidate. Oui- hero could not reply at first, so overwhelmed 
did he feel ; then he hesitated, and it was only at the expira- 

* Cossack coat. 



364 DEAD SOULS. 

tion of several minutes that he was able to pronounce with 
some decision the folloAving honest and pathetic words : 

"Divine providen,ce, in sending me through you such an un- 
expected honour, seems desirous of wiping out all trace of the 
injustice which I have experienced in the pilgrimage of life. 
Gentlemen, you cannot be ignorant of the fact that ray exist- 
ence long resembled the condition of a vessel buffeted by 
storms. You propose trusting to me the helm of the vessel of 
your interests. You place too much value possibly on the little 
wisdom with which experience may have endowed me. How- 
ever, I perceive in this an opportunity for self-sacrifice, and I 
will not hesitate. Dispose of me." 

Thereupon he shed a few tears, and crumpled his three- 
cornered hat with both hands ; then, obviously much agitated, 
he passed into an apartment adjoining the grand hall. 

The voting for the candidates was immediately proceeded 
with, and this operation did not last long. 

As soon as the voting was finished, there arose from all 
quarters of the hall a loud and general shout, amid which one 
plainly heard the words, " We congratulate you ! " 

"It's all over," thought Tchitchikoff, wiping his brow, which 
was quite moist from emotion. "The honours have fallen to 
me, and my heart is relieved of an immense weight." And his 
bearing as he re-entei'ed the hall evinced what a lively sentiment 
of personal dignity he felt at that moment. 

" Gentlemen," he said to the throng which watched him as 
he passed along, " I thank you cordially for an election which 
cannot be otherwise than flattering to me from every point of 
view. But I have many reasons for begging you, for adjuring 
you, to exempt me from this noble office at least for three years, 
in order that I may become more firmly settled in this part of 
the country, where approbation will always be so precious to 
me." 

Pavel Ivanovitch, having delivered himself to this effect, bent 
his head slightly towards his left shoulder, brought both hands 
together on his breast, and awaited a reply. 

Prince Tchigirin, a man of lofty stature, renowned for his 
overwhelming blows, who chanced to stand at about ten paces 
from Tchitchikoff, then exclaimed in a very fine baritone voice : — 

" Mr. Tchitchikoff" is wrong in thus alarming himself. Gen- 
tlemen, pray have the charity to explain to him that he came 
out third or fourth in the list, and that he is excused from 
discharging the functions in question, not for three years only, 
but for fifteen or perhaps eighteen.", 



MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 365 

Prince Tchigirin was not a competitor ; lie himself did not 
wish to be marshal ; but on the other hand he could not endure 
the thought that anyone else should aspire to the office, unless he 
were a prince, or at least a triple millionaire. 

Soon afterwards Melekitchentzoft" sought out Tchitchikoff, 
for he wished to invite him to dinner, and to regale him with 
a dish of herring-roe such as could only be found at his table. 
However, our hero had disappeared from the hall, and three hours 
later he was taking tea in a posting-house situated twenty-one 
versts from town, and listening to the overture of " Lodoiska," 
executed by a musical snuff-box, which had constituted the de- 
light of the superintendent of this station for the last twenty-five 
years. Our hero greatly envied the contentment of this worthy 
simple man, who, in order to render himself happy, had only to 
rummage in his pocket and press a small leather button. 

" And I," thought he, " what do I lack to be happy ? Nothing 
that a man can reasonably desire. Accursed vanity, what wilt 
thou of me ? However, the lesson which I have just received 
ought at last to teach me to restrain the impetuosity of my 
ambitious aspirations." 

Such was the style of his thoughts when he resumed his 
journey to return to the bosom of his numerous family. He 
had been married for twelve years, and he had eleven children, 
who had always been the freest and the happiest children in the 
world.* We will not say the same for the fourteen hundred 
families of serfs of which our hero was the lord and master, and 
for whom it cannot be asserted that he always entertained the 
feelings of a father. The only persons with regard to whom he 
was always inclined to passive indulgence were Selifan and 
Petrushka. They died shortly after their master's great dis- 
comfiture at the elections, possibly in consequence of the pro- 
found chagrin caused by the preference, more apparent than 
real, which Tchitchikoff" accorded to the valet and coachman 
who had accompanied him to town on that occasion. He had, 
in his character of master, some principles from which he never 
departed. As he despised tale-bearers, he never punished any 
faults of which he had not himself been a witness, or by which he 
had not personally suffered ; but then he punished severely, with- 
out pausing to consider the degree of gravity of the ofience. 
An impostor, a thief, a drunkard, a libertine, had only to avoid 
ever coming in Tchitchikoft"'s way, to appear perfectly innocent 
in his eyes, however detestable his reputation might be ; but if 
one of his peasants told him a lie in person, or if one of them 
passed him on his way from the forest with a load of purloined 



366 DEAD SOULS. 

brushwood on his back ; if a third, in replying to him, gave 
vent to an alcohoHc hiccough, or if he caught sight of a fourth 
courting a village m,aid in unseemly fashion, even were she his 
betrothed, then it made no diflerence — all four were mercilessly 
condemned to be flogged. 

Very few of his peasants were allowed the means of attaining 
to a state of comfort. Still, some of them, in spite of the thou- 
sand obstacles inherent to their condition of serfage, became 
fairly well oif, and besought him to give them their freedom on 
condition of payment. He invariably refused, without alleging 
any reason for this course ; and he never even consented to 
allow their daughters to marry freemen. To have subjects, to 
keep them firmly under his control, to augment as much as 
possible the revenue of his own private government, such was 
henceforth his sole ambition. 

Any considerations of equity, of social amelioration, or uni- 
versal morality, the dissemination of knowledge, and intellectual 
emancipation, afiected him but little. They merely served to 
sadden him, for he considered that, if these nonsensical notions 
won favour with the public, they would be a very bad omen as 
regards the prosperity of his oflspring, whom he believed he had 
created in his own image and likeness. 

He subscribed to several newspapers, reviews, and illustrated 
publications, simply because these sheets were all to be met 
with in the reception-rooms of his neighbours ; but he never 
endeavoured to discover by perusing them what were the needs, 
the general feeling, the current of ideas, and the aspirations 
of the new era now dawning. Of the ordinary contents of the 
Journal des Debuts, for instance, he never allowed any men- 
tion in his presence, save that it were what came under the 
heading Assize Court ; and then all at once he would exclaim, 
" What is the use of tribunals which are open to the public ? 
Why confer this name of ' public ' on the populace ? And what 
is the use of publishing all these horrors, which one hears in the 
court-room, over and over again in the newspapers ? " And 
more frequently still he was accustomed to say, " You see, you 
see what abominations daily take place in the West ! And yet 
there are fools who want to Europeanise Eussia, when, on the 
contrary, it is for Europe to Eussianise herself, as she ought to 
do for her own safety ; otherwise I predict that she will shortly 
perishan final impenitence." 

The most important duty which he fulfilled with regard to 
his six eldest sons, was to accompany them in succession to 
Petersburg and Moscow in order to install them respectively in 



MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 367 

the public [service — the army, the navy, the departments of 
finances, justice, foreign and home affairs. The other lads, 
who were younger, were placed in various educational institu- 
tions. That done, he received and opened their letters, glanced 
over them, beginning at the end, and .then threw them on the 
table, and left the task of answering them to his wife. He took 
some pleasure in seeing his sons again when they came home 
on leave, and he sent them back at the expiration of their fur- 
loughs much better provided with money than Avith sentimental 
blessings. They, on their part, returned without regret, the 
one to the general whose aide-de-camp he was, the second to 
his ship, the third, fourth, fifth, and sixth to their offices, and the 
others to their schools. As for his daughters, he did not under- 
stand how they could want anything but ribbons and dancing- 
lessons in the first place, or dowries and trousseaux in the next. 

The district was unfortunate in its marshals ; in less than 
two years it lost three of them. Melekitchentzoff" died of 
indigestion ; Count Nulin, who followed him, of a fall from 
his horse ; and Kostlyakin, the third one, of the measles, 
though some people said that it was the cholera. At all events, 
Tchitchikoff was destined to arrive at the goal of his desires. 
He was called upon to discharge the functions of the mar- 
shalate, pending the next elections, and was regarded as a 
worthy representative of the local nobility, except by certain 
country squires, who were impatient of all superiority, and who, 
like P rinco T c h igiYih, theii' leader, had never been known to be 
6 atisfied witli anyone . 

An interim appointment was all that our hero wanted ; some 
months later, he was confirmed in his post for three years, and 
he resigned himself to his duties. We will not designate those 
who were the most assiduous at his table and his entertainments 
— they can be divined. The malcontents ? Of course, with 
Tchigirin always at their head. 

The millionaire Melekitchentzoff", in dying, had appointed 
Tchitchikoff" to be one of his executors and co-guardian of his 
two minor sons. All this weighed heavily in his favour, and was 
of great advantage to him, thanks to the manner in which he 
discharged his duties. There was very little of the citizen about 
him, and, on the other hand, much of the self-made grand 
seigneur — the provincial grand seigneur of the antique pattern. ;;J 

Thus, despite success, our hero, having a heart far above his 
fortunes, was not in the least satisfied. With his hair of ala- 
baster whiteness, his calm and upright bearing, his florid 
cheeks, his aristocratically fine and transparent nose, his mag- 



368 BEAD SOULS. 

netic glance, the noble and generous manner in wHcli Le did 
the honours of his house, his gala-days and his great festivals, 
he thought that the nobility of the country did not render him 
justice in proportion' to his merits ; and indeed he was of opinion ■ 
that, at the elections which took place eleven months after his 
exaltation, he ought to have been elected marshal of the pro- 
vince, instead of being confirmed as marshal of his district for, 
the succeeding three years. This well-deserved promotion would 
have had the efiect, not only of taking him in triumph to the capi- 
tal of the province, but would have opened to him the doors 
of the palace of the Czars at Petersburg, and possibly have 
attached to his marshal's uniform the golden key of court 
chamberlain, which renders the offices of master and grand 
master of ceremonies accessible. 

However, Tchitchikoff kept his thoughts to himself, and, too 
proud to sulk like a fool, he retreated into himself like a sage. 
But his eyes constantly turned to the walls, the floors, and the 
ceilings of the principal rooms of his house, and he thought 
them all very bare, very mean, and very poor, compared to the 
marvels which he had seen in the Kremlin at Moscow, and in 
the great "Winter Palace of the new capital. 

As he had so many great qualities, our hero will surely par- 
don us for not concealing anything. He had a lofty soul, 
and a quick, just, and penetrating mind ; but his heart, which 
was often so strong, was not exempt from momentary weak- 
nesses. He feared all contact with foreigners, on account, in 
the first place, of their habit of immediately judging a country 
which baffles their research ; in the second place of their 
detestable love of novelties, styled progress ; and in the third 
place, of their stupid principles in favour of the equality of all 
citizens before the law. 

The very word citizen, as applied to plebeians, to peasants, 
and even to the merchant and artisan classes, seemed to him a 
revolting absurdity. The law, in his opinion, was a machine 
set up and worked by noblemen, and which performed its func- 
tions for the benefit of noblemen, who had at their head the 
Czar, who, to his honour be it said, was the first gentle- 
man in the empire ; equality was to his mind only an antique 
phantom evoked by the evil-intentioned from the depths of the 
ruins of the fabulous republics of Pskoff" and Novgorod, at 
the instigation of the philosophers of Germany, who had already 
suffocated Poland with the fumes of their political wisdom. 

Thus Tchitchikoff entertained sentiments with regard to the 
inhabitants of Europe which were thoroughly Chinese. He con- 



MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 369 

scientiously failed to fulfil any engagements with Englishmen, 
Frenchmen, Germans, Swiss, and Italians, simply with the ob- 
ject of making them feel that a formal treaty or engagement 
entered into with them was not a contract which could bind 
the Russian. If he yielded in the end, it was only at the 
entreaty of his peers in the nobility ; and he still acquitted 
himself after his own fashion, obliging them to feel that he 
acted out of respect to himself, and not in virtue of any alleged 
contract, which was and could be only a fiction. 

Although he sought out their Parisian soap, their eau-de- 
Cologne, their Holland cambric, their Sheffield knives and razors, 
their Perigord truffles, their Strasburg pates, their Champagne 
wines, their Sedan cloths, and their Aubusson carpets, he much 
preferred to obtain these things from Polish Jews rather than 
direct from Frenchmen, Englishmen, Italians, and Germans. 
He would willingly have employed the Jews of White Russia 
to teach his daughters the languages and literatures of the four 
nations. He would have liked an Italian opera company, en- 
tirely composed of singers from the Ukraina ; a French theatre, 
with actors born at Simbirsk and Tobolsk ; and a German 
theatre, where the performers would have been Kalmuks and 
Kirghiz-Kazaks. 

One of the most characteristic traits of our hero's lofty per- 
sonality was patriotism, the most exclusive Great Russian 
patriotism. He was perfectly wilHng to admit imitation that was 
the simple mark of the universal adaptability of the Muscovite 
nature ; he did not admit the infusion of foreign genius ; he 
repulsed every shadow of any association or affiliation what- 
ever. The introduction of a Frenchman, an Englishman, a 
Swiss, or a Belgian into the councils of the government would, 
in his eyes, have been as great an enormity as a request to a 
fox, a wolf, a hyena, or a shark to take care of an aviary, a 
sheepfold, a menagerie, or a great national lake, like those of 
Ladoga, Onega, and Ilmen. A Jew, however, might be allowed 
to assume office, for if he did not walk straight, one would have 
no hesitation in despatching him, without any noise, to those 
vast eastern provinces of the empire where the need of men to 
work the mines concealed in the great chain of mountains border- 
ing upon the Chinese frontier was making itself more and more 
felt, and where the Western nations had absolutely no reason to 
interfere. 

Politics, diplomacy, home rule, justice, men, things, defects, 
prejudices, abuses, — numerous, varied, and universal, — he ac- 
cepted, protected, adored them all, such as they existed in Russia. 



370 DEAD SOULS. 

/ He delighted in everything that was Russian, because it was Rus- 
sian, because it existed for the benefit of the nobility of his 
country ; because, in spite of all restraints, the " cute " Russian, 
by properly guiding the bark of his cupidity, could, even 
without any special talent, without the least genius, without 
having rendered any distinguished services, attain to nobility, 
fortune, honours, and even dream of the highest dignities. And 
he delighted in the vices, wrongs, crimes, anomalies, and fre- 
quent contradictions of a system which led everyone to believe 
in evil and no one in the law, simply because, in his eyes, all 
these defects had their good sides for the ambitious. Moreover, 
he did not see that there was any inconvenience to the country 
in the fact that thirty millions of serfs and low-class families 
remained in bondage, called upon to provide for the question- 
able pleasures, to the life of barbarous luxury, and the often 
savage fancies of three hundred thousand satraps, upheld by a 
million of corrupt country squires, and flanked by three or four 
thousand Jewish, Greek, and Mongolian nabobs. ^ 

Tchitchikoff, during the happy days of his journeyings, had 
dreamed of a fortune, of a pretty wife, an elegant retreat, a 
sumptuous equipage, a numerous progeny; of clearing new land, 
of cleverly managing far-stretching forests, of agricultural pros- 
perity, and of the happiness of his vassals. Everything, except 
the happiness of his vassals — except this last point, which had, 
in fact, merely been included in his programme like the set 
dishes which always remain intact in the refreshment-rooms on 
great railway lines — everything had prospered with him accord- 
ing to his wishes, and had even much surpassed his expectations. 
But if he had been asked how far his wife and his six eldest 
sons shared the habitual order of his tholights in his old age, he 
would have been greatly embarrassed to give any reply ; for, if 
he had moments of efiusion with the nobility who were invited 
to his feasts and festivals, he never indulged in any in the bosom 
of his happy family. "My family," he might have answered, 
" must love and honour me, because I am its head, just as I 
love my country, just as I love and honour the Czar, because 
he is my chief and my master. Neither the emperor nor I 
demand an account of our mutual opinions or our mutual affec- 

. tion. We do not even know each other. It is the same with 
my sons and me ; they have the honour of being my sons. I 
do not allow them to want for anything, as is my duty as a 
father and a gentleman. What necessity is there, after that, of 
our knowing each other ? " 

A heavy wager might be laid to-day that Tchitchikoff no 



MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 371 

longer belongs to this lower world. Probably he is dead. 
But who knows ? Who can tell what became of Ninus, Romu- 
lus, Belisarius, the mother of the Pious /Eneas, and Andrei 
Kurbsky, Prince of Yaroslav, of the blood of Rurik ? 
V Nevertheless, our duty as an impartial historian requires that 
we should report what has come down to us in relation to this 
sad subject ; without, however, guaranteeing anything, and 
without attaching more importance than is necessary to the con- 
jectures of an idolatrous public. However, many people 
maintain that our hero is still living, and that, octogenarian and 
decrepit though this noble personification of ancient Russia may 
be, he appears to enjoy marvellously good health for his age. 
Folks whisper in covert words into the ears which care to 
listen that Tchitchikoff is in his province the secret chief, the 
real soul of that venerable faction which is called the party of 
the Immovables : men who gravely protest against changing the 
old system of a government, which may have its faults,* but 
which has in its favour the sanction of time. They argue 
that it should not be demolished under the pretext of making 
reparation to a class which has been held for centuries under 
a ban, and under the pretext of effecting eclectic progress in 
humanitarian, social, and Christian civilisation. According to 
this party, people must neither imitate nor tolerate any of those 
accursed revolutions which do violence to the past, upset the 
future, and deliver it over to adventurers. Tchitchikoif has 
never proflfered one word of recrimination against any man, 
or any part of the legal or extra-legal system established in the 
country. That must be said for him in justice ; in that respect 
he has held his place as a son, a nephew, a scholar, a parishioner, 
a scribe, an employe, a clerk, a custom-house official, and a 
partner with the sons of Israel; also as a gentleman's steward, 
as a gentleman traveller, as a speculator, as a prisoner, as a 
lover — if he ever was one, even in imagination — as a man 
prosecuted and condemned, as a land and serf-owner, as an 
elector of magistrates, and as a candidate, who, after being 
scoti'ed at, was finally elected from necessity. 

The revenue service, the finances, the church, the organisation 
of the army, the navy, the courts of justice, and the prisons ; the 
salaries of the functionaries and clerks, the educational system, 
the police, the serfdom of the masses, the general simony — these 
he has never protested against ; he has accepted them all, 

* It should be borne in mind that all this was written prior to the 
freeing of the serfs, though of course many of the remarks have a 
bearing even upon present times. 



372 DEAD SOULS. 

approved of them all, by his silencd and his submission. And 
yet, as the reader has seen, our hero suffered horribly until his 
marriage. But this did not prevent him becoming the possessor 
of a considerable fortune, an orderly man, a marshal of the 
nobility of his district, and of enjoying in his green old age 
general esteem and respect. 

To our mind, the whole secret of his special policy (which 
in the eyes of many persons will possess the merit of being 
eminently practical) consisted in turning obstacles, and in mak- 
ing use at all times and in every situation, of evil to further his 
especial benefit. 

Alas ! generations follow each other like days ; and, like days, 
they do not resemble each other. All Tchitchikoff's youthful 
family is now notoriously in favour of liberal and sweeping 
\ reforms. And their mother, in the privacy of the family^ 
willingly recognises, in company with her children, this simple 
moral truth, that monstrous abuses do not gain in respectability 
simply because they are old and remarkably tenacious of life. 
For ourselves, we will not permit our admiration for the 
exploits of the father to blind us to the very different merits of 
the sons, who vie with each other in contending and proclaiming 
that for the general good all private interests should hold their 
peace, and that the happiness of a great people can only] be the 
outcome of sacrifice in high spheres. 

The Russian is not only Catholic and Christian at bottom, 
but he also possesses all the instincts of the genius of initiation. 
What likelihood, then, is there that he will much longer put up 
with a semi-pagan system of government, which is the sole 
cause of his physical and moral discomfort, and which impedes 
the fruitful march of the nation in its career of progress ? "^ 



THE END. 



PBINTKD BY J. 8. TTRTUB AXU 00., LHQTED, ClTy BOAD, TiONOON- 



V 




iC--'':i Sitf /.;(. wv V . : -^ ^: 




